Catheter Cathleens Contraption

Inchie: Tuesday 18th April 2023

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After yesterday’s decision to do summat about my not being able to stay asleep, I found a self-wotsit page on it from the NHS – and filled it in.
Here are the results with m comments added. Hehehe!

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Now, I’m really worried, folks,
Got the Catheter night bag off without any
leaking, breaking or dropping owt.
One, not serious, walked into the door frame.
Things seemed too contented for my liking…
The Computer is jerky, but working.
Just one Porcelain Throne visit.
Had help getting the Asda food to the kitchen!
Back to the computer.. and…


“Jumpin’ Jahosafat!!!
CorelDraw had replaced icons, toolbars and dockers.
I had to set about trying to get the others back on and the unwanted off of the programme. Which I actually did in less than nine hours!
AGAIN I let a smug mode come over me.
When will I ever learn?
This time I was so sure I got it as I wanted it… well, as near as I was ever going to, anyway. Displaying great stupidity, naivety, & idiocy. Pitifully unwarranted confidence that it was set right, and brainlessness, I clicked set as defaults. Within an hour, I found I had not replaced the Text-Options box link – not the select-all, Place in front or behind icons.
Another day spent not getting anything done that needs doing!
Tomorrow, I’ve got to go… well, not got to go, but I would like to go to the
diabetic meeting in Winwood Court. So more time is lost in the ether. Why I want to I do not understand cause it’ll be just the same as at the Bulwell meetings, which I can’t get to now with the catheter. I can’t see the whiteboards or written advice, can’t hear whoever is talking… I’ll have to think about this decision…

I woke, got up, and took off the night bag, which had a healthy-looking coloured content, warm; almost hot, of wee-wee.

And for the first visit of the day to the . The evacuation was swift and, for once, not splattery or overly messy. Only and of course, the Queen of ailments for all of last week, , was reaching an 8 on the pain scale meter. Lugging the bowls of water from the kitchen to refill the non-working WC tank three times each flush… well, it’s some exercise, innit?

Pottered about making up and sorting the waste bags for collection. And the morning Carer arrived. I took the tablets, pills and medicine like a good boy. While was here, the Asda order arrived.
Shaquille helped to carry them through the kitchenette with me.
I had ordered some fresh-cut vegetables, bearing in mind last week’s finger, chin and knuckle cutting.
This is all the fresh stuff that arrived.

Shame!.
Still, I got Asda Essential which is now not so cheapo plain yoghurt, that I was planning to have with the Asda Essential cheapo Lemon Curd, but they’d got none of them in stock either.
I did get another block of the Flora Not-Butter butter because it was on Special.
Plenty of potatoes, though; I expected some of them not to be in stock, but they all came. Fooled me there!

And tons of canned peas and various other vegetables.
So it looks like veg soup and stews a week or so.
On to the computer.
Then hours of confusion with carers calling, and phone calls; I struggled to get CorelDraw 2017 reset again.
It’s still playing up now, very regularly.
Not the foggiest idea why. And it cost me another day, and still, it’s not right!

Around 13:00hrs, I heard the mobile tone ringing.
I found it at 18:10hrs when I trod on it on the floor. Humph! I went to check on who texting or calling, and it dropped from assisted by ailment number 9, 
acci-whoop It landed on the spot it had been hiding in…, but despite it being on the carpet, the back of the phone came off!
I spat, cursed and bent down to retrieve the pieces and then launched an attack as I stood upright.
I spat and cursed more vehemently this time. Took a painkiller… I smelt the day long taken to cook soup burning, and I hobbled hastily to the kitchen to turn of the heat and hope for the best…
Then realised I’d left the hot water tap running.

There are depressions and depressions of differing characteristics – I nearly went into each one!
Then spotted the clouds and sun out at last.
And had a few minutes of pareidolia joy.

The evening carer arrived and sorted the medications out for me. We had a laugh; she thought the NHS replies were great & humorous.

Close the annoying computer down and got the nosh sorted out.
Back hopefully in the morning

♫ I Made it through the night ♫

Wednesday morning (another farcical day dawned, I’ll put it in tomorrow’s blog, all the gory details). Back to tonight…

I prepared and dined on the vegetable (it-came-out-horrible) soup, with rolls and a mistaken thought it would be delicious plain yoghourt with a pot of orange jelly in it. The Carer arrived as I was tucking into it – no, that’s not the right word; tucking in suggests that someone was enjoying something.
And yet, I ate it all?

I blame the she-devil, who goes I’ve given yet another title, and she’s named . Even the jelly & yoghourt was tasteless. The Carer gave me a Covid Test yesterday, and it was clear. Taste rating: 2.5/10!

I did my best to stay awake to watch ‘New Tricks’ on the goggle-box. But it was a futile try; although the dreaded woke me up every few minutes, which is not unusual.

I had to get up to empty the day pouch of its contents and wash & disinfect the container.

Glad I did, now, cause the late sunset was just going down towards the horizon.

While taking these photos and viewing the scene on offer…
I went into one of the rare ‘Out-of-it’ spells.
They are hard to describe with any clarity. One suddenly feels as if you’ve gone out of your looking at yourself.
Impossible, I know that, but for the few minutes it lasted, I did believe I was doing just that. No sense, rhyme or reason as far as I could tell for these odd moments I get. Most of them occur when I’m looking out from the window. Can happen any time of day or night. I’ve had a few when I was out and about too? I tried to explain these to the Mental Nurse; her disinterest, or belief, it dispirited me somewhat, as I recall. I’ll not mention it next visit – if there is one with the strikes.

Back down into the £300, bought eight years ago from the second-hand shop, Harold Haemorrhoid testing, repugnantly beige-coloured, dour crumb-containing, virus-breeding, acne-giving, rickety, none-working recliner. I nodded off quickly for around about ten minutes. But the damned rotten crap kicked off straight away.

I took these few last photographicalisations of the day, of the darkening view and wonderful colourations from the dipping away sun.

Now the usually no0bother-at-all getting back to sleep was a bother! It took me ages to nod off this time. Yet the had all but disappeared?

All a part and parcel of the unaccountable mysteries, phantoms, and hauntings of Woodthorpe Court. (It never used to be like this, they tell me until I arrived!).

Now then, where did I leave the walking stick?

Monday 17th April 2023

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The day started better than usual, as well.
The usual back-breaking three treks to the , with the heaving three bowls of water from the kitchen to flush things. Only three visits today, mind you. All within the first three hours, a good start

No bother from the .

The carer arrived, and all went well.

Ablutions went fine.
Zero, I say Zero cuts shaving!

Looking a little threatening?

No complaints about the ulcers or ankles.

I foolishly allowed myself to cheer up.
I should have known better!

acci-whoopGot on the computer and was doing alright.. until…

I was in the middle of a good run of concentration. With CorelDraw at the limit of its memory, I was doing so well… and got an earlier start… life was for once perking up – Gragknangles! The CorelDraw scene shook about a bit and closed itself, never to be seen again! I could have cried!
Went on the web asking for advice but failed to grasp what I was reading in reply. So, I loaded up a newer but unused version of CorelDraw 2017; just look below at what I had lost on screen! I mused for what must have been an hour or more before actioning a rescue attempt.

I proceeded over the next nine hours, with breaks to empty a few times, Carer, and domestic calling. It would take me days to get things back sorted and working! Utter despair and frustration. But I pressed on for another hour or so. then got an idea (I do that every year or so; get an idea – not that they usually work)
Mayhap this version will load the last saved before it did a runner and vanished. on CorelDraw x7? I tried it, and it loaded it, but boy, did it cause me some problems then. The dockers had all gone, the Colour pallets too. And there was a conflict with the different icons, and I had to try every one of them in order and remove those not working.
Sheer determination carried me onwards, and now, 16 hours after it first cocked up, I’ve got it looking like this.

At least the pallet colours were got back again. But not the cockers; they had to be rebuilt form scratch. I’m tired out, hungry, and would you believe that is kicking off again, and I need the damned rotten again! So, after I’ve carried the water to the tank and refilled it, I’m going to be in a right state pain-wise again.

I’ll bung the photos taken in here, I must be quick to get it done before the evacuation is ready, and I die in agony abed starvation. Hehehe!

Afternoon shots.

Teatime piccies.

After the second-last caller came.

Sunset.

Carer’s desk, after the last day Call.

Got to go, then I’ll get summat to eat and hopefully fall asleep.
Not that I’m feeling up to making nowt fancy; soup will do.
Get back in the morning… Well, all being well, like.

MORNING, LATE: I’M BACK.
I fell asleep, woken up when the late Evening carer , who gave me a painkiller.

Then I got the vegetable soup sorted out with a few bread rolls, extra oven cooked potatoes, and a black tomato.
Taste rating: 803/10.

I soon nodded off, but were rampant, thus the jouncing and jolting awake seemed be doing it to me every five minutes! Tsk!

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INCHIE: Sunday 16th April 2023

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WHAT ROTTEN DAY!
COMPUTER PROBLEMS GALORE – WC WATER TANK PROBLEMS PROBLEMS ALL-DAY- A TUMBLE AND
PAINS VIRTUALLY NONE STOP!
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I lay there in the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesore-horrendously grotty-grungy coloured, Harold Haemorrhoid-testing, easily-fallout-able-of, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner, in as much pain as I have ever been from my first thought being the fear of having to carry the three buckets of water I’ll need to refill the not-refilling W.C. tank; which is not going to please is it?

I grumphed, cursed, and reached for the packet of Ipobrufen on the ottoman, and took one with a swig of spring water, which I misaimed putting it back on the tray. acci-whoop Clunk-thud, I got a part shower of spring water and the cabinets, chair and wall as the bottle spun around!
In pain and annoyed, I thought, Sod-that! (Well, close to those words). And tried to get back to sleep.
But it was no good; the guilt of leaving the mess and knowing it’ll have to be done anyway forced me to get up. This was, as I found out later, at 05:00hrs.

Were giving me some real stick now. I begrudgingly cleaned up the mess. Then… the rumbling began from the innards, and off to the I limped.
were in total control. What a splattering mess! As if I didn’t have enough to do fetching the water to refill the damned tank again, as it was!

However, I kept calm… , . 
Bending to clean the splatters of evacuated product made even angrier, and I’d not fetched the water yet. Three trips to the kitchen and three back carefully, slowly balancing the bucket against my chest, back to the wet room. Agony is not a strong enough word. To make things worse, I’d had to do this three more times before 12:00hrs. Just the on the last trip of the previous session. That cost me another hour to clean it up.
I was pleased when the carer arrived, and I got a Codeine down me with two paracetamols. I got the first mug of tea made; I put the vegan imitation meat in the oven and brushed Canadian Maple syrup on them.

Then took these snaps of the morning view of the once again blue sky. But no, more Computer Problems arose! I got on Corel-Draw to make up the cartoon and get the Health-Checks done and the graphic made above…

acci-whoop Grammarly was not working on Firefox!
I searched for a free-to-use spellchecker and installed it. But No, it went through okay, but I have no icons. For I.T.? Then I tried Google to see if it was on there – Nope. Grammarly not working there either. Getting miffed now.
I went back to try Firefox again. The computer froze; I could do nothing with it as this screen came up! Apparently, Firefox needed reinstalling with the original password –  They must be joking? Then I got a patch job offer and clicked on that. Which was seemingly getting on with the job when Norton came up asking me for the dreaded passwords. They are in a notebook, but some old ones as well – because the first ones I put in were not up to date, the frame with the little pictures you’ve got to identify which have whatever they ask for in the frame, cars, trees etc. Which sank my heart – I can’t even make them out using the magnifying glass!
When started to get as bad as , I had some really silly thoughts. I’d had enough!

Back to Google to try that again… are… nothing on there Grammarly. I tried to put the free one on again. Norton started again, but this time I found the right password for the vault. Seems to be working sporadically.

I was totally lost now, getting confused between which one I should be on and what I’d changed or done. The free processor was on the main page now, but when I clicked it, a new browser came up without any of my programme icons on it, and when I opened the now-closed by itself browser, the I.T. browser closed itself? You know, with anguish, fears and pain, I think of death as a release. Bet there are lots of folks like that. We should start a self-help group. NO! Better not, though, because it’s bound to be on the web, innit? No, forget I said that!

I’d been farting around with the computer and Water=-Closet water problems for about seven hours, and I’d got nothing else done. I haven’t even had a wash and shave yet. And it’s near time for the third Carer call!

I made a much-belated effort to get this blog updated. Being the conscientious, young, fit, mentally-alert person that I am. I had a few LOBS in the last hour, but I think and were getting easier.

acci-whoop Big-gobbed ! When I mentioned something getting better, I smelt the vegan imitation meat in the oven burning! Thank heavens I forgot to turn the heat up when I put them in! I ate a couple of them straight away. A little hard on what few teeth I have left, but I gave them a good sucking. Nice! I’ll be picking bits of Maple Syrup soaked soy out of my teeth for days! Haha!

Back to the computer, a quick prayer, and I got on with this blogging. But my good fortune didn’t last long at all. Humph!

I got up to check if I’d left the taps on, and to my shame and disgust, I had left the hot tap on! I got to this tap and turned it off, but I dropped the walking stick turning around, and unfortunately; ! Twisted my back, and of course, the fall and getting back on all fours to the front room to use the recliner to clamber up and get back on my feet really got too. And I regret, somehow, it kicked off the . had never stopped all day anyway in differing degrees. I was now in as much pain as I was this morning! The doom and gloom returned, but I didn’t get . I just felt pissed off, basically!

Better get something to eat with the rhino-leathered soy slices from the oven, then.
I decided to break the concrete into tiny pieces and put them in with a vegetable, with added mushrooms to the bowl. Baked a couple of rolls to dunk in the gravy/soup. It was horrendous! As I started to eat it the Carers called, not that this mattered in the slightest. Medicated me, and when they had departed, ~I forced myself to eat the entire bowl of teeth-breaking, tasteless gruel… although the veg, especially the mushrooms, were passable, the cobs were a delight. Flavour-Rating: 6.2/10. The teeth and gums bled, and bits of the burnt soy and whatever else was in it fell out of the holes and cavities for a while.

Blessedly, I put the pots into the kitchen sink bowl to soak and clambered into the second-hand, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, microorganism-microbe producing, gungy, moth-eaten, beige-coloured, non-working, bacillus encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, c1968 recliner... and

Zzz!

INCHIE: Friday 14th April 20-23

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Alto: “And he told me he was feeling happier this morning?
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But the wee-wee colour is betterer!
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REGRETFULLY – TIME DEFEATED ME, SO, A POOR BLOG – SORRY!
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I was up, took the night pouch off, and started several different jobs simultaneously. But I was, at that time, in a better condition than the day before. For a few hours, anyway. I can remember some of the things I began doing. Made a brew, which went cold, as I decided it would be a good idea to get the ablutions done. Then found myself making up the laundry bag ready for collection, and I struggled to open the box of soap pouches. I had to rush to the , that evacuation was over about five seconds after I’d sat down. But the sense of another one was on the way, made me stay where I was and had a go at the crossword book. While doing this, and rather successful for once, blood from Little Inchie was felt running down my leg. So I abandoned the crossword and cleaned it up; there was only a spot or two left to come, then back to the puzzling. The follow-through, backup, or second coming did not arrive.
While I refilled the bowls from the kitchen to refill the non-working water tank on the WC… yes, you guessed it! I had to rush back to the . So, with the first dollop of mush not being cleared yet, I then had to get four bowls of water to encourage the mess to go down the toilet. I was well worn out by the time I’d done it all! But did that stop me farting about doing other things at the same time? No!
I went into a short Memory Blank, I think at this time… well, I know I did; when I came round, I wrote it on the pad, and there is nothing else on it at all, apart from my weakling up time.
I found another mug of tea with the bag still in it gone cold. I moved some spring water bottles around in the kitchen, left the cold water tap running, and although there was nothing in there, I’d left the oven door open!
I did start to realise I needed to concentrate. I did feel a little better later. A Carer called, and I’m sure we laughed about something or other. 

What I’m writing may be out of chronological order, I fear. I think maybe I got the ablutions done before the Carer called. Anyway, I had to return to… yes; the yet again. Swift, messy, and how I didn’t drop a bowl of water or take a tumble was… well, a miracle! Ah, I did have a few cuts shaving. But little Inchie was no longer leaking, yes, the odd spot here and there that the PPs coped with admirably; this is several times a day occurrence from tube inserted.
Now the vagueness returned for a while. Eventually, very late on, I got the computer started, and the second carer arrived. AHA! She had some medications for me. At last, some Codeine! I asked for one straight away. This cheered me greatly. I really believe, swear, that the pain reduced the in half an hour!
The vagueness was coming and going for the next hours. I know Sister Jane called me, be nothing about what we spoke of… other than we were both sad to see Nottingham Forest struggling (I think?)
Around 16:00hrs, I finished and posted yesterday’s blog, then as I went to make a brew and empty the , I found I’d put the oven on a low light? Wish someone had told me. Hehehe!
There must have been raining outside, but I’d spent so long doing the blog that it is now almost time for the early evening carer. I can’t even remember the afternoon safety check caller. I’d been in a mental cocoon, I think.
So, I thought looking at the photographs I’d taken should help me recall things. As I got the camera to take out the SD card… ~~I saw in the computer’s external disk thingy reader.
I fear things are getting worse. Just doing this blog is taking me so many
error-filled hours. Causing frustrations.
 I think I can hear an alarm now, but it’s just stopped?

I left all three receptacles filled with water in the wet room in case there were any more needs to utilise the .
There were a few, and after heaving water from the kitchenette to the Wet room, , has been ever-present since. The painkillers were week used today! A morning view of the sky so blue. I even managed a little spot for two of pareidoliaing.

Computerisationing had an enormous amount of errors and miss-reading. As the day dragged on and I got more tired, so wrong options were taken; thanks to and .
The afternoon brought storm-threatening darkness. Not that it mattered much to me. I’ve not been outside now for about... oh, ages. It must be close to a month now since I’ve seen and breathed fresh air?
The last time I went out for a pleasure hobble around the flats, ~I had to return sharpish half was along Citrus Walk in front of the flats. Blood from Little Inchies , then the valve sprung open and filled my shoe! I can remember that well enough!

Then after taking the photo above, gave me something that he hasn’t shared with me for months on end, probably close on a year; an involuntary Right arm Hitler salute! I could have done without that! I rattled my knuckles against the window handle and, at the same time, I managed to knock off the window shelf, the knife box, the kitchen roll holder, the box of bags, and a jar of mint sauce! .
Then bending down to pick up the knives and check for damage to the floor, I hit my head against the freezer door edge! It took me an hour or more to get everything back where it should be.
I’d been lucky, I think, all the same. All five of the scattered-about knives missed any part of my body!
The only bad bit of the cleaning up and sorting was retrieving the bamboo stick that had rolled between the base cupboard and cooker. The burn in my hand that caught against the oven was nothing to a man like me. I laughed it off and at it! I’m inured to pain and a brave heroic sort of chap.
I made an error… (What am I saying? I’m always making errors)… with the daily meal. But it didn’t matter as it happens. I overcooked the vegan burgers, uneatable! But, me having the Natorra black tomatoes on the plate; They taste like meat to me? Lovely!
The ready-sliced potatoes (I thought after yesterday’s [photo on the left] Accifauxpas while slicing fresh potatoes were a good idea) Were very nice and crispy. Even the pickled beetroots were nice and well cooked, soft and kind to what few teggies I have left. I shan’t get any more of those burgers. Flavour Rating: 9.3/10.
Got settled down.
The feet and legs were looking better tonight. The ankle ulcers had all but disappeared again.
The skin looked a little darkly cadaverous. But I knew I’d not snuffed it yet, cause as I was nodding off, the leg slipped off of the chair, and that woke me up, so I knew I was still here when the pain and shock woke me out of my wallowing. But, putting getting back into the land of nod into a no-go area! Humph!

TTFN

Inchie Today: Saturday 15th April 2023

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INCHIES CONDITION
HAIRY-FAIRY

I rose earlier than of late. Got the night bag detached. The moment I tried to move from the c1966 charity shop bought, second-hand, whincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner, I was greeted in the usual “Take-that-you-git” style as is a favourite felicitation lately of . Christ! She was even worse than yesterday… so vicious, whatever position of pose I adopted. I made for the painkillers and imbibed a couple post haste.

However, looking on the bright side, I did seem to be in better control of what I was doing – then, the had to be responded to, so I did. The usual Sit, Splurt all done routine again. Then the bit that was really unpopular with … fetching the water in bowls from the kitchenette. I needed three bowls-full today to refill the waterless, unfilling tank on the WC. Every shuffling step I took care so as not to spill the water or drop the bowel, I was tormented by . On the second trip, the ailments ganged up on me. Brenda was joined most handicapping, and for the first time in weeks, by in the right knee. Had anyone come in, they would have seen a limping, water-spilling old man concentrating so hard not to drop the bowl; I had had my tongue out!
Gordon Bennett, that took me some time to get done!

Got the waste bins sorted out and found a pot to use for emptying out the pouch into. Not that I have used it much as of now (15:00hrs). I’ve been guzzling water enough, but it doesn’t want to come out? A bit worrying that cause it’s been so good these last few days.

Then I got the Health Checks done. The first one shook me a bit. The readings were SYS 194 over DIA 64, and the pulse & temperature were up too! I left it a few minutes and tried again. This time, it was much better, but still not good. SYS 154 DIA 65. Pulse and temperature were still too high.

My Sherlock Holmesian mind tweaked into action… (It does  that sometimes, you know) Not often, I admit!
I deduced, using my superior investigative, but affected brain cells. I may have had some help with coming to my decision, from the agony that was giving me, of course. But I thought the carrying of the bowls of water may have affected the ticker rate on the first test?

After that, the HAIRY-FAIRY why-am-I-doing-this hit me. It stayed for a few hours; nothing got finished that I started, and ruled the roost.

The Carer arrived. Medications sorted. Can’t recall what about now, but we had a little chin-wag.

I gathered some of the accoutrement I used and put them on the £300, bought eight years ago from the second-hand shop, Harold Haemorrhoid testing, repugnantly beige-coloured, crumb-containing recliner. Then spent a few fruitless minutes trying to work out why I’d collected them onto the £300, second-hand, decrepit, Haemorrhoid Harold-testing, sleep-deterring, nauseatingly beige-coloured, not-working recliner. Aha! I think I remember a bit of the chin-wag I had/

The left hand’s little digit was in its usual position, trying to tangle itself up with the next finger. Which is its usual position. See why I struggle to type correctly and make so many mistakes?
Then, for about five minutes, the fingers were trying to get away from each other?
I’ve never had that before.

The Iceland delivery arrived. Unfortunately, the driver chap left the bags in the doorway. So that meant by the time I’d got them into the kitchen was giving me some stick again. Still, there was nothing unavailable from them this time, and I feel I might not run out of kitchen towels for a good while yet. Hehehe!

The ice-cream flavour drinks are rather nice.
The noodles were on offer.
The brown and white bread rolls ha gone up by 30p a packet though.
The Strawberry jelly pot is on offer!

The lemon curd mini jam rolls are Very nice looking) were three times the price of the Asda raspberry ones; however, they did have some sort of thickish flavouring on the outside of each roll. I’ll try one later on. Custard creams, vegan mini sausages and some Spanish strawberries, When I’d recovered from getting them into the kitchen and put them away, I took a punnet of strawberries and a can of gin for Josie to have.

Then got my nosh started. Ate it; taste: 6/10. And nodded off, leaving the tray on the ottoman. Into a deep dream-filled sleep. Aha, off in the land of nod.
Dreaming for once, a decent dream; I was in an underground cave, and I was popular with the crowd of people with me. One of them identifies himself as a Doctor of medicine. Who recommended that it would be wisest for me not to bother waking up. And gave me an email address for St Peter. This was also real to me! So much more happened, but all vague now, the email address for St Peter, made me laugh as I was scribbling notes about what I could recall later. Hahaha!
Hoping to rejoin the clan in the cave, I drifted off in hopes of finding the dream again. Of course I didn’t!

I was woken again by the late Carer. I know it was a she, and bless her didn’t put the light on. Kind touch that! No idea what was said or done. and was instantly back in the land of nod when she left; I didn’t even get up to lock the door. Idle monkey me! But, no more dreaming!

TTFN!

Inchie: Thursday 13th April 2023

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From waking up, until writing this rubbish, there were no ins & outs of mental stability, awareness, keenness, determination or wayward involvement where I found I had to spend time gathering myself together to continue with whatever I was doing.
This was because I was constantly ‘out of it’, all data long!
Anything and almost everything that was go-wrongable – went so!
Not that I was particularly aware of it at the time. Undoubtedly, Mind-Blanks limit any chance of a total recall. As far as of now; I can recall;
I know (I think)  up to now, the Porcelain Throne visits numbered five. With only two evacuations managed. Constipation Conrad!
I know I had some wonderful help when the food order arrived in getting it put away. Thank you, Carer!
I took a tumble getting the bowl of water to refill the non-filling WC tank on the last failed-to-pass visit. No injuries.
Then when getting the meal prepped, after getting the potatoes from the crock-pot, cut them up and put them in the saucepan. I was washing the mint-covered pot and thought I heard someone in the other room, so I went to take a look… It was the NCH Homes control room alarm response, asking if all was okay; they had got a signal alarm from my water detector. Checked again that there was no water on the floor and told the lady. Then went back to have a Sherlock Holmesian investigation.
ADOPTED
I FOUND NOTHING WET ON THE FLOOR?
Presuming that as I tipped the water out of the pot, some may have splashed offer the edge of the sink.
Then, tumble number two: A smidgen more serious,  this one, clouted the back of my head as I went down onto the wet room wall. A bit of a job getting to the recliner to get back up.
A massive blank about what happened or didn’t, or shouldn’t have gone on for about three hours. I did mention these to the Mental Health Nurse, but she seemed unconcerned.
It’s so late now, and I~’ve only just started on this blog, so it’ll be a few photos and owt I can remember about each one.

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Pouch.

Rain from the kitchen window.

Early morning tatties into the crock-pot.

Food Delivery.
Fridge not too full?
Fancy tomatoes.

After the second tumble.

A little tip here…
Take care when cutting up potatoes
to go in your soup.

Good colour.

Early evening rain spots starting.
The sun’s last view.

19:00hrs – Dour!
1910hrs The car park, below the kitchen.

Going to get the nosh sorted now.
Back in the morning to catch up.
Well, I hope so!

Not one of bestest photographs. Tsk!
But it tasted grand! Flavour 6.9/10.

The late call Carer called (Tongue twister there?) and put the night bag on for me. No Codeines, but I had two Paracetamol. Tempted to have an Ibuprofen due to pains from Anne Gyna, but I resisted it.

I had to get up for the sixth visit to the .
Which proved as all the others to be a fleeting visit on the Throne; Splurt! All done. The cleaning up afterwards and having to haul bowls of water from the kitchen to refill the tank was the risky bit. 
Still, it was a bit of exercise for me.

When I eventually got the job done, I went in to check the taps and oven were not left on. All okay!

I looked out at the night sky – I was gobsmacked!
What an amazing, incredibly splendorous, captivating night view; that looked like it had been painted in oils onto the sky.
Well, I liked it!

FELICITATIONS

May your luck bring beneficence,
Your actions include crapulence,
That you avoid any indigence,
You avoid hackers & their fraudulence,
Most of all, enjoy your flatulence!

Fare Thee Well!

INCHIE: Monday 10th April 2023

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Pathetic Parole Board Pansies!
Overpaid, money-grabbing, HMG Pleasing Official Murderers!
My hatred of these HMG-controlled, scum moneyites has no limit!
Prejudiced, biased, inequity, greed! A complete & utter
disregard for the victims and families of those raped, robbed,
or murdered by the shits they have pathetically freed from prison.
No shame or guilt! They are worse than criminals!
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I slept a bit better last night once I got off. Rose removed the night bag and required the services of the Porcelain Throne. I could tell this was going to be an evacuation of a differing style from the last few day’s events. The rumbling innards could actually be felt, and I suspect,
had I good hearing, would have been heard,  as well! The repeated refilling of the WC tank is taking it out of me. Can you
believe it? Constipation Konrad has been crushed by the return
of Trotsky Terence! Three visits in an hour – no doubt more to come.
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The sessions started very early.
Each one was a slurpy, messy spitting-it-out job. Pebble-dashing the porcelain, my bum, and somehow it even sprayed the legs this time. On the rebound, mayhap? Hehehe! On the third one, the floor copped for a few sprinkles as well.
It may have been in the morning, but it was a nightmare cleaning up and refilling the tank with buckets of water from the kitchen. I was about buggered by the third session!
Now, I’d like to take the time to give some advice on ablutionalisationing in the shower. I genuine tip or two to help prevent what happened to me.

On the right is the object I head-butted when the carbolic soap shot from my fingers, and I bent down, holding onto the grab rail to retrieve it. You may be partially sighted as I am, but here’s a little tip. (I just washed mine as well; Little Inchie, Hahahah!) In the event that you followed my tip last year, here’s the thing to remember if you can: I mentioned keeping your good arm on the bar at full length – what I missed off last time was: Do not let the arm slip off of the grab bar – especially when you on the way down to retrieve your carbolic bar of soap. Just a tip, as contacting your forehead with the corner of the power box is likely to damage it; doesn’t do your forehead much good either.

I decided not to use the grey bucket for emptying the pouch in. From here on, until the toilet has been mended, I’ll keep it full of water in the bathroom to make it easier when I use the WC to start the refilling trudge from the kitchen to the wet room.
Blown if it doesn’t look like rain coming on through the kitchenette window? A little glum view.
Did the Vitals, and I made up the graph. Not a thought in my head about my having done both recordings in the morning, missing off the PM one. Sad!
As I was putting the kettle on and dropping the tub of Glengettie teabags on the floor, as I gingerly rose up, the wind could be heard, even by me, and rain poured down.
Carer Richard who called earlier after the second visit to the . It was he who fetched the medications and night bags for me; bless him.
came later on. She said she was busy and didn’t stay long. As she was leaving chimed out, called, “Someone to see you”, and departed.

It was our local councillor, Dr Nayab Patel. Asking if I had any problems. She said in a manner and tone that told me immediately that she’s already asked many others and regretted it! Poor gal!
I told her how I appreciated what the council provide. This pleased her. her fellow Councillor, who’d been in to see Josie at the same time, was ringing my door buzzer to rejoin her. Well, that went well, I thought.

The rain had stopped, and the blue sky with clouds appeared. An absolute total pareidolia’s delight! Do you see the open hand and fingers to the left of this cloud? Bootiful!

From the left window, I can see seashells in this cloud, whelk shells maybe? And some of the fingers that are overlapping from the right window picture? Also, there’s an animal head in there somewhere?

Oche bejesus, I forgot to put these on the right in.
From the  20 minutes only of wind and rain falling!
Top through the right window kitchen, second through the left one.
The second from the left window.
Then the bottom one through the bottom narrow window, really close-up to it.
The rain spots came out looking decent?

Carer Carol-Ann, then Sam called… or, it may have been the other way around?
The pouch emptying was done in a disposable pot so as to keep the water in the wee-wee bucket available for the non-working WC duties and refilling the water tank. Only been two more visits up to now. But I had to remember to keep an eye on the level. 200 max fit into the bowl.

Well, I do declare! – It looks like the leg geyser papules are trying to come back? Amusingly, again with or in a face shape? Not as funny as the first time. I might end up with a map of the moon? Or perhaps just one giant geyser papule? Hehehe!

Got some tomatoes and imitation bacon bits in the saucepan. Then I ferreted around in the freezer and found some vegan sausages, can’t read the date on the packet… , but I’m sure I will be okay. You can put that on my funeral plaque. “But he was sure he’d be okay” Hehe!

Get the nosh done next. There’s no doubt about it; this was not one of my best efforts at making a meal. I thought I’d added my usual extras and flavourings to the dish as well. The best I can grant for the Flavour Rating is 4.2/10. Shame! Maybe the sausages were out of date after all? The bread was nice, though.

Washed the dots… erm… pots and then actioned the activities. Which were messy; almost liquid again. But at least it was all over with one splattering of the porcelain.
Then the task of fetching water from the kitchen to refill the water tank on the W.C. No problems with it this time. Cleaned up the wet room, then into the kitchenette to make sure things were alright, and boy, what a night view! Lovely it was!

I hobbled to get the camera and took these shots over the next ten minutes or so.

The bottom one reminded me of a sci-fi film with a visit from aliens meeting. Can’t recall the name, but it was good, and the dark cloud seems to rise from the ground made me think of the film. The one where the Americans were talking to the invaders with lights and sounds? I’ll have to look it up. Nope, can’t find it… Tsk!
Minutes later, it looked like this on the right.
This a perfect photograph and scene for any of the pareidolia lovers who might be reading this blog.

TTFNski!

INCHIE: Sunday April 9th 2023

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Well done, you overpaid, useless, namby-pamby Parole Boarders!
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If you could (A heavenly thought) punish a Patrol-Boarder?

For their virtually committing murder,

By releasing killers over and over…

To murder again, with no discomfiture…

Absolved from blame, yet ever guiltier!

This ode might get even sarkier!

Relatives of those killed, when again another murder…

… despise Boarders, but the prisoners revere!

It’ll get no better in the future…

Freed scum will continue to kill and injure,

Innocent preventable deaths, howsoever…

Will their ‘do-as-they-like’ party ever be in danger?

I think not; HMG protected, I’ll wager!

When can we expect their next deadly blunder?

They ought to each be jesters, not jauntier,

Kill an innocent child, no prosecution, no matter!

The reason for the Boarders’ stupidity, the real coercer?

 PATROL BOARDERS’ REASON FOR BEING

Males can drink-drive, women go into prostitution…

Money, HMG Protection from prosecution…

Get paid an absolutely ridiculous remuneration,

To keep these Patrol boards, just one justification…

Save HMG cash; too many in the houses of correction!

Too costly to feed, then? Thought about cannibalisation?
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Guess who woke up thinking it was Monday? Not necessarily me, but it was.
A session on the Porcelain Throne first. After getting the ablutions tended to, a second session on the Throne. Made a brew and got myself ready for Carer Richard. I’d some of his favourite treats prepared; then, as I was cleaning up the kitchen, I thought he was a bit late… and checked the time on the computer… noticed the day was Sunday. I’m quick yer know!
On the first day-bag, emptying was a good colour again!
An up-and-down, in-and-out-of-it sort of day again. Mentally.
My meandering from one subject, task or thought stream to others; and getting confused beyond belief was there again all day.
Different degrees of Thought-Storms, they never went away.
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Another bad night for sleep. However, did I let myself get down over it? No! Late, around 07:00hrs, I almost bounded out of the c1966. charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner, whipped off the delivered yesterday night bag, did a few push-ups and toe touching, started yodelling Frank Ifield’s ‘She Taught me how to yodel’, slung open all the windows and doors, shouted a welcome to the sun trying to get through, and then woke-up for real!
acci-whoop: It took me half an hour to get the night bag off of the day bag. I dropped the night bag, but it didn’t burst, but the valve shot open. So I bent down without thinking to get it in the bowl before there was a scented pong of wee-wee on the carpet. acci-whoop: , and got the bag and fell back down in the aged, grotty-looking c1966 made, charity-shop-bought, horribly beige-coloured, £300, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, non-operational, acne-giving, virus-breeding, rickety, easy-to-fall-out-of recliner. Knocking over the spring water bottles and mobile phone onto the floor.
This is when I spotted that I must have done some nocturnal nibbling. Just two empty Cheesy-Curl bags today. I’m getting much better: Thursday 6, Friday 5, Saturday 4, and today just 2! As I emptied the rubbish bin, I found that one bag had two more screwed up inside. I think that Alto-Ego was trying to fool me? Hehe!

The was used before getting my ablutions done. Solid as a rock, one piece, bloodied torpedo-like deposit ejected – eventually! Then it took me ages to get the WC tank refilled. I have to hobble to the kitchen, fill the wee-wee bucket with water, and get back and deposit the aforesaid water into the tank. Not an easy job having to carry the walking stick on one arm, in case or should come on suddenly, to avoid any spillages and hours lost to clean it up!
The went pretty well. Teeth bleeding, just one tiny nick shaving, and the usual bother with , well, the bleeding wasn’t a problem, but the pain and getting it to stop it was. I did notice that the face on my left leg that the water-spouting papules left, we now unrecognisable. Shame!

Got deodorised, Brut splashed on, and I did the rest of the sorted and went to make a brew.
I did consider having the giant can of Casserole. But remembered as ~I looked at it how wickedly terrible it tasted. So I didn’t. Not my cup of tea… I mean, it’s not a cup of tea, I know; I meant I didn’t like it. Or something like that?

Ah, I missed this photo. I took it as the night bag was attached.
Why, you ask? I’ve no idea, I reply.

Carer Rahmat arrived. She identified the urine as grade 4 from the photograph. She also made the second call of the day.

Aha, got the computer to take the photos again.
These were from the water-carrying to refill the non-woking Nottingham City Homes one in the flat. Which makes a change from the water-sprouting papules on the left leg – Hahaha!)

This is the Water tank on the WC.
Which had to be filled up three times today. Not that it bothered me in the slightest, of course.
This shot shows the bottle of Brut – Splash it all over.
Can anyone remember the advert done for these by my6 hero Henry Cooper? That’s what he said; Splash it all over!
It still smells the same.
I may not be able to walk very well, hear or see very well, but I can still smell. (In more ways than one) Hehe!

I got the veg soup and added some beetroot and garden peas later. Made some soya with gravy, then added it. It’s in with the veg now.

Amazing clouds this early evening.
They look almost painted in the sky, in mono.

Sister Jane rang, terrible reception. Lost her signal in the end, and I rang her back. Carer Carolynne arrived. She knew there weres no Codeines available. I showed her the new tablets for reducing the size of the Prostate… and them being morning only one a day for 56 days. We had a little mini-chinwag, and off she trotted.

Looking glum out. Not that it’s all joy inside.
That includes my brain, mind, hearing, and eyesight. Things ain’t good!

I cut some more potatoes up… all gone now; to add to the lamb and vegetable soup later. Got them in the oven after spraying them with olive oil.

Checking on the spuds, I took this snap of the car park below.
It looked like we had an escapee on the run in the white car. Hehehe!
Must get the nosh sorted early, before the last Carer calls and tackle the job of attaching  to the . That limits my mobility even more.

The pouch had filled up suddenly quickly? So I got it emptied.
Within an hour or so, it was even fuller?
So that was also emptied out, and the bucket was emptied and disinfected.

Got the potatoes checked. Turned up the heat. they were not cooking fast at all. This was due to me not turning up the heat high enough. It could happen to anyone.

Turned off the computer, watched TV for 20 minutes and then got the nosh sorted out.
It was, I thought at the time, worth all the effort and input in creating this feast for myself.
Took me ages to eat it all, but I did. Very tasty. Flavour Rating: 8.6/10.
But sadly, I fell asleep after eating the bowlful and didn’t eat the yoghurt & lemon curd that I made up. Tsk!

arrived, as I had just finished the feasting. She attached the night bag and the medications served up (Well, at least those that we had in stock; the chemist seems to be withholding some for some reason or other? It would be easier to permutate the square root of 21.8% of 2⅘ divided by 17.335 than get your prescriptions from Carrington Pharmacy!) We had a little natter.  I anticipate I’ll snuff-it within a week. If anyone would like to sue the chemist, Doctor and anyone else involved, in failing to supply my medical needs, please free, please do. I’d hate to snuff it without thinking there would be trace, an iota of a chance of my killers getting knobbled for it. I seem in an odd mood here… I was!

Zzz!

Dad used to say “There’s always hope”,
It depends on how you cope…
Go for it, don’t just grope!
And always use carbolic soap!
You’ll not understand this, your a dope!
With brain like a teinoscope.
Did I understand this? Not a hope!

INCHIE: Saturday 8th April 2023

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Took me a lot of effort and pain on the first ~Porcelain Throne visit. Rock solid again, followed by a second evacuation of almost liquid gooey content. My eyes were too bad to do the crossword while waiting.
As for the feeling ‘Out-Of-It’ scenario, things were better up to now.
But when the Computer Blue screen came up, the fretting and semi-panicking returned instantly.
This encouraged further worry over the non-arrival of the medications or catheter bags. And the mind wanderings were all about the current day problems with an expectancy of losing the computer at any time.
The better earlier concentration, although not good in itself, crumbled after the blue screen came on… Cragknangles! Not a lot on today.
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The overworked Catheter day bag’s urine colour was just fine.
Even the inserted into little Inchie tube didn’t seem so much bother?
However… The Vitals readings were probably the highest they have been for a while. The combined two, I mean. I Was surprised at the SYS and DIA being so high again. Ah, well!


Clouds cross this found as the sun rises from behind the Woodthorpe Cell Block… I meant Woodthorpe Court flats. Hahaha!

The battery in the camera needed changing. The battery in the wall clock (the one that fell off of the wall) was changed as well.

A mid morning pouch emptying was a shock. A lot of dark red in there this time.
Carer Josef, Carer Sam, and Carer Carol-Anne attended up to now. (17:00hrs)

Afternoon view while the sun had retreated for an hour or so.
She was back later on, though, and she persevered for a while. Hello, Little Inchie is bleeding. Back in a bit… All stopped and fine now. Thatyointments stings but is of no bother to me. Ahem!
Great balls of fire! Well Feet!
The lumps and depressions! I’m glad to report that a little bit of pareidoliaing was done with this photo. Does it not look like a thumb growing on the heel of the one on the left to you? Hahaha!

Hello, the urine has gone back to a good colour again? There will be a reason for this.
If anyone knows, can you please let me know?

I’ve decided on thick vegetable soup[ for tonight’s meal. I’ll heat up one of the brown thingamabobs in the oven… I’ll get the name shortly, bread, long, thin-shaped… Oh! Baguette, that’s it! I aim to make it with plenty of gravy to soak up with the bread. I’ll add some seasonings, mayhap a little of the soya lumps too. Slurp!

Above is the dreaded blue screen that came up on the computer. Argh!

Decent nosh under the circumstances.
Those include being miffed and pissed off. Worried, in pain and suffering from lack of sleep.
Don’t know why I said that; it’s all everyday stuff for me.

TTFN

INCHIE: Friday 7th April 2023

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I fear for most of the day today, I was here, but my mind was far away. I started that-many plans, jobs and needs, but maybe got 10% of them done.
In fact, I lost the plots more often than I retained them. I went way off-track. Let things slip, failed to remember to do things, to think anything out. I lost consciousness in a way and awareness of activities and plots planned and needed. But, do you know, I fretted and got hot under the collar far less than usual!
Right up until around 20:00hrs, and all the worries, fears, shame, self-hatred returned. It was like mental torture, and the Thought-Storms kicked off and stayed with me.
I was aware of the problems all the same, but just didn’t care? If I could buy a drug to put me back into that mode, I would. It was like a new lease on life. I suppose/imagine that Dementia Doreen played a hand in this, but for once, I didn’t mind.
A shame it came to an end, but unfortunately, it’s left me with memory blanks over the last eleven hours. I wonder if Cannabis might help me get that wonderful part-day relief from worry back?
Hey-Ho! This is the best I can give you…
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A terrible night, almost sleepless, yet again. 04:00hrs: Decided to give up on sleeping and get the ablutions done early. No shower, too noisy that early for disturbing the neighbours.
On the 2nd Catheter bag emptying, I was happy to see was Rating 2:  Great!
The right ankle ulcer had somehow been hidden from view this morning when I took these shots of it?
But the fatty tissue on the feet and ankle made walking and hobbling a smidgen dodgy all through the day.
But, Although I came close a few times… I avoided any tumbles.
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Pareidoliaing here with this shot. I see lips and or a mouth in there around the ankle bone? Hehe!

Went into the kitchenette to get the kettle on for a brew of Punjana Signature Blend tea.
The moon and sky looked blue to my eyes, so ~I took a snap of it.
Mede the mug of tea as I went to get the milk from the fridge (Well, that’s where I keep it – Hehe!) I saw how the moon and sky colours had changed in about five minutes?
I tried to get a good shot of it with the craters showing, but couldn’t get it right this morning. I think I took four photos of it, and this one is the best of the selection; on one, I actually caught only half of the moon. That is due to , and my nerve-end dying . They also caught me out when I was stirring the tea in the mug. Innit gobsmacking how maybe 2fl oz of liquid that spilt form the cup manages to spread itself on your dressing gown, hate counter, and the floor, and miraculously a few drops get into your right slipper? Cleaning that up was no fun.
Ailments , & were all activated by the time I’d got the mess cleaned up and replaced the dressing gown.
Got the Health Check belatedly done from the notepad. Well, this week is a vast improvement on last week’s returns! On the level tab, the L=Low, M= Medium and H= High for each scale.
Just look at the urine colour chart levels. Looking so good at the moment. (Just, mayhap I shouldn’t have said that?)

duties. Not good at all, in several ways:
①: The time lost waiting for the fully-in-control of . I tried to do the crossword while waiting for the action that had come part-way and was stuck rigidly to restart. But , Sac and were making it very difficult to read the clues. So I counted the cracks and cobwebs on the wet room ceiling instead. Cracks 32, Webs 2.

②: I gave forth with a convoluted sort of… “Oooohargh… ach, (grinding what few teeth I have left) Ohohoho… Phew!” As the motion finally passed!
③: Then the task of cleaning things up. The water closet was not refilled again. So, I had to fetch water from the kitchen. Not an easy task with a walking stick and carrying basins of water, but I got it done in the end.
④: I managed the four trips balancing act, and I got the tank refilled. But, on leaving the room, I shoulder-charged the door frame edge again! This encouraged to join the other active ailments. I know I shouldn’t have, but I took an extra-strong over-the-counter Ibuprofen painkiller after I realised how bad the level of bother was that was giving me. At one stage, I checked to make sure that the shoulder bone hadn’t been detached from my elephantine, flobby-bodied torso. Hehehe!

Still a cloudless sky out there. It hardly looks like Nottingham usually does from the Detention Cells at Winwood Heights. 
I’m in cell-block Woodthorpe Courts. It was a life sentence. You won’t be able to get your medications; The Wardens have told me that they will arrive the next day… on eleven occasions over the last three weeks. I did get part of them, with the usually failed promise that the rest will be delivered or fetched by the Carers tomorrow – again. Naturally, I’m still waiting for them. The NHS seem to be having difficulties getting any a . The water in the WC tank is not refilling, so I have to carry water to refill it from the kitchen every time I need to empty the catheter contents or use the . Many an , , and tumble. Also, my walking into doors and window-frames are all part & parcel of life in my beloved Woodthorpe Court Cell Block.
Still, it’s much better than them posting/moving me to an ‘Alcatraz’ (Care Home). After I had the stroke, the needed bed space at the hospital, and I@ was dispatched to such a home… and remember many of the events during my 3-month stay. If it wasn’t for Brother-in-Law Pete and Sister Janet fetching clothing from the flat for me, I’d have run out of clothes. So many did not return from the laundry; you would not believe it!
Fair enough, here in the Woodthorpe Cell Block, over the last six months, I’ve lost five bobble hats, four T-shirts, two towels, a dressing gown, pyjamas, and a jumper. But this is nothing compared to the Alcatraz. One week, I sent six items, and I never saw them again! I’m not a lucky person.

The wonderfully healthy-looking colour of the catheter bag’s contents continued to be, well, impressive! great!

I made an Asda order for next week. All went well, but of course, is their habit; there will be price increases and not available to add to the equation and situation.

During the day, Carers Sam, Josef, Jodie and Sam called on me.

In the PM, the sun got through. I took these shots facing the sun, and was pretty pleased with how they came out.

The weariness dawned on me, and my eyes were failing again. This is now a hemerine event. and will be, until I can get at least the cataract operation done and dusted.
That is if I live long enough or the shortages of medications do not see me off first. I can see the headlines now: ‘Old Fart in Nottingham killed by the NHS & Parmascist’ Haha!

This view of the late afternoon clouds was an absolute pareidolia’s delight!
And I found some animals in it, not saying what they were. That’s because, my looking at this now, I can no longer find them. I do feel a right fool! Which is understandable.

Waking up just in time to get these two
shots of the brilliant sunset as the sun fell
out of view over the horizon. ♥

The day bag emptying was again almost a perfect colour!.

again.
Carer woke me up. Sorted what med we had in stock. And, of course, no night bags to swap for the day bag on … one day,  we may get some.
My estimate would be approximately September 2029. Or am I being over-optimistic in thinking I’ll live that long? Haha!
♬ Food Glorious Food ♬: Got in a bit of a pickle with having to work out the timing of the cooking of this feast. The oven, saucepan and microwave were all used in the preparation.
Sliced crispy roast spuds, boiled spuds, carrots, onions, and beetroot with gravy and soy mince.
I enjoyed this one. And the plain yoghourt with lemon curd added.
Flavour-Rating: 8/10.

But I was grossly disappointed in the lack of sleep again! No pains this time, just wave after wave of Thought Storms. Humph!

Go Forth with hopes of better times to come… Or, not like! Hahaha!