Daktacort cream

Fiddlededee Inchy: Sunday 29th December 2024

/ Inchie / 9 Comments

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INCHY’S SPORTING FAILURES
Football for Oil Drum Lane Athletic,
They soon discovered I was pathetic…
I’d like to have tried something aquabatic,
But if I go near water, I panic,
Whist; for my partners, this was tragic!
They threw me out, but I was apologetic,
Weight lifting? 1st session, I looked cadaveric!
Angling Club had no wins, but I was the bus comic,
Darts, I played better, avoiding the gin & tonic,
Mt teammates christened me ‘The Dipshit’!
At that, I found I was even more chronic!
Now, at squash, I was doing well, almost dynamic,
Of course, I didn’t win any games, dammit!
Archery, not strong enough or ergonomic…
Parachuting, I did one; it was too frenetic!
Bungee Jumping, I did one, and it was fantastic!
Second go, that was something of a classic,
I ended up in the hospital when the platform split,
Gave me a skrik, it left me spasmatic,
On a machine, I think it was electrotherapeutic,
On to my time being sportingly pugilistic,
I may have been nervous, but I went ballistic…
I was too small. That was my sitch…
The first punch I took, I was kayoed out of it!
The reasons above for this ode reading are so threnodic!
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Yet again, it was a night of broken sleep. A little different, though, this time. The usual trend lately is for me to wake with a jump or jerk, as if someone had prodded me awake. Most of Saturday night’s last night’s disturbances were almost calm and serene. But there were far more of them this time. I was having the odd mini-seizure now and then, most times after waking. Working out the time was surprisingly difficult… did you ask why? Then I’ll tell yers. I first went into the land of bliss as I was watching TV, and… unbeknownst to me, I moved into the hospital bed. When I decided to get up, I wondered what the heck was happening. (Thinking that I was in the recliner) I looked at the clock and saw the wall about 4 inches from my nose! Hehehe!
I tried to stand up to remove the nocturnal catheter pouch off. For a few moments, I was baffled by the situation. As I turned and hit my head on the anti-fall bar, I realised where I was and could not find the clock.

Extracting my flabby body from the bed went great! Because both Cartilage Chloe and Carole were painless. Arthur Itis’s stiffness was letting me know about it. Once I sat on the side of the bed, I checked the clock; it was 05:10hrs. I got the bag off of the catheter. There was not much urine in it, and it was of a top-rating colour on the card.

I wanted a mug of tea, so I went into the kitchen, checked taps, etc. and took two photos of the morning view, and it was fogless for the first time in three days.
So, the pictures looked semi-decent compared to the foggy ones taken over the last few days. I decided the next job would be to get the done.

I utilised the Porcelain Throne first… well, I meant to. But Constipation Conrad prevented any motions from starting.
I realised I’d not got the tackle needed. So I fetched the bath towel and Kagoule, Kaftan, Thobe, Longshirt, or whatever you call it, from the hallway. Returned to the wet room, and showered, and shaved.
Apart from a little difficulty getting the fresh Protection Pants on, all went so well that I thought it might be a last treat from the almighty before the Grim Reaper arrives. Haha! 
Also, it took only 1 hour 30 minutes from start to finish!

!
All fresh, clean, and in a good mood, given how well the ablutions had gone, I went to the kitchen to make the mug of Glengettie that I’d failed to make earlier. I got the kettle on again… The innards warned me to get back to the Porcelain Throne post haste! So, I did… I cannot believe how things changed so much. At the first sitting, nothing would move, and as seen, I blamed Constipation Conrad.
But it was a performance this time. I have never been so close to a voluntary evacuation before without it happening!
So I think I had a bit of luck there, really.

I got the tea made and reset the retro 1970s-style clock calendar. Then I got on the computer. Ten minutes later, I fumbled  back as fast as possible to get to the Porcelain Throne again! Yet again, apart from Starmer, someone must have been watching over me. Because it was as close a job to things escaping as it was on the second visit! Phew! Can this good fortune last? Is it a trick by the devil to make me relax and get caught out on the next visit? I expect to have a few more yet. The innards started slowly churning again no sooner than when I sat back down on the computer. I’ll avoid starting to feel optimistic about the situation. My belief that things will finally turn around, only for another adverse event to happen, reinforces the idea that my bad luck is persistent.  Well, it is! Tsk!

Carer Kimberly arrived; I’ve not started on any blog work yet. I forgot to ask her to put my diabetic socks on for me. What a turd I am! Sometimes, the Carers remember, but not today. Not that I blame them. Just wish I could remember to ask.

When Kimberly left, I thought about what to have for nosh tonight. I had a look at the food available in the kitchen, fridge, cupboards and freezer
I put some spuds into the slow cooker. Then, what did I do after seeing the morning view getting more blue? I took a photo; in fact, I took two. I’ll blow this second one up.
Can you tell what the things in the sky are? None in the first shot, just the close-up one? Thanks!
Of course, it could be some gunk on the lens? I’ll see what the next one looks like.
I’ll have some Golonkowa later on the meal. I love pork knuckle. This Polish can of it usually have plenty of pork jelly included. Very nice! I’ve got the memory of the taste coming back now.
I was tempted to nibble at the LU Cookies, my new favourite biscuit nowadays. If I open the packet, I may be tempted to eat a few, spoiling the dinner later. So, I resisted the temptation. It’s easy when you are as determined as I am to do the right thing. Alright, I only ate
two of them! .

The blog work is getting slower and slower and becoming more mistake-ridden. I am determined to get it together and to concentrate. Then Carer Selina arrived. I’ve not seen her for weeks. She has been off for a while with a broken foot! I forgot to ask her to put the socks on again. We were having a little natter… I went into what (Selina thinks were two) mid-conversation.This time, it seemed I just looked like I’d fallen asleep, but I was muttering. I can recall nothing of it while I was out of it. Then, according to Selina, I started carrying on from our conversation… after a few words, I drifted off again. I think it was good that someone had seen it as it happened. But she said it frit her a bit.

After she left, blurred my vision, and I had to give up on the blog. I’m unsure if it was in the report, as I couldn’t read the writing. Not that anyone reads them.

I think I took this photo earlier in the day. But midst the seizures, I managed to miss it off then. I do that a lot, you know… miss things off.
These I took when I went to the fifth mug of tea of the day. I did manage to drink one of them… I think I did. I’m all over the place mentally now.
Ah, I just saw the circle I put on this one on the left. Same snap as the one on the right above. I’ve blown it up. I’m hoping that someone can determine what it is. Well, I know not what it is. Is it a bird? Is it an alien? Is it an Angel? Or is another freebie donation being delivered to Starmer as a backhander?
A Day of Mysteries, Today.

Ah, well, I’ll get summat to eat then.
Golonkowa, pickled beetroot & water chestnuts, cheesy no-butter, buttered bread rolls, and some tasteless potatoes that need the sauce to flavour them. The biggest disappointment? The crap, bland, going soft tomatoes!
But I ate it all… bar some of the spuds.

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Have a Fantastic Day!
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Incontinent Inchy: Monday 22nd July 2024

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

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Doesn’t yer know that today started so well that I was questioning my own insanity? What a start to this prospectively enlightening, trouble-free, and confidence-returning day! Then I climbed out of the hospital-provided bed, caught the catheter pouch tube against the metal anti-fall bars, and without any hassle or leaks occurring! Fan-bloody-tastic!
The colour of the urine was classified by Carer Richard later, as a seven on the NHS rating colour card. That was a bit of a downer for me. Yet, I found myself whistling, well, I say whistling. I was trying to whistle; it was not easy with me losing another half-tooth to the land of rot and yesterday. Still, I laughed it off; even when Little Inchy’s fungal lesion started to bleed, I kept up my pecker… Honestly!

I’m off to visit the Porcelain Throne and have a stand-up wash and shave. I must remember to ask Warden Deana about getting the shower head mended. Having failed on the Porcelain, I started to have a shave, and I gave myself a little cut.
I put the Kodak Tim in my gown pocket and tried to take a selfie shot of how little the nick was.
The steam from the water blurred it. Shame! That double chin was embarrassing as well!
I then put on the Protection Pants in record time with far less hassle and pain than I usually do. By gum, today is going so well!
Feeling a little perky, I turned to leave the wet room and involuntary shoulder-charged the edge of the door! The response was a bit of bad language and a dip in perkiness!

I took a photo of the morning view from the kitchenette window and put the kettle on to make a brew of Thompson’s Punjana tea.
Then, I emptied all of the waste bins into one and placed it near the door for the Carer to pick up for me.
As I turned to hobble back to the kitchen to make my tea, guess what?  I against the towel dryer. Now, I was beginning to feel a little riled, ruffled, ratty, almost to the point of getting hacked off.

Carer Richard arrived, and I forgot to ask him yp put my diabetic socks on. Thus, I’ve been having activities from the vicious ‘s via  .
I wish someone could tell me why, although I expect I may know. It’s with. Of course, I could well be wrong about that. You know, I’m becoming something of an expert in getting things wrong these last few years. No effort on my behalf is needed. I was well behind on getting this blog started. So I knuckled down while I knew there were no carers to call and did a pretty lousy job on CorelDraw, and then WordPress kept changing the font on its own accord. I spent about two hours trying to find a cure. I did some risky, easy-to-forget and lose where I was amended in the Settings and Appearance options. But although it accepted my different font in the editing sections, it did not change them on the blog editor. Sometimes, it would be on the Preview. Back to the editor and the old font was back.
Nearing losing my marbles with the frustration, I thought I’d try a different font… and the door chime rang out.
! It was a man and woman (Amelia) from Specsavers checking the eyes. It was, I suppose, perfectly understandable that I forgot they were coming.

Between , supported by   it’s no surprise. They came in, barely hiding their disgust at the state of the room with the bed in it. Their superiority oozed from them as they went through the selling parts of their mission. Q & A’s. Sense of humourless. Prospective future Oligarchs, I think. Anyway, it seems I am cataract-free in both eyes. They think it must be the Glaucoma that’s causing the problems.

Arrived, full of beans. Gave her some nibbles and a drinkie for her kids. No medications were needed; I was too confused to take any after the WordPressing farce. Which is what I returned to after she rushed off on her duties.
It took another four hours of fighting to get the font I wanted to work on. I failed. Now I can’t remember what I’d done to try and get it accepted in the first place. Had enough of this.  Frustration Frank visited.

Now, the persistent painful got as bad and persistent as she’s ever been. Carer Chris came, and I’m blown if I can recall much of the visit. I certainly didn’t make any notes on the pad, which indicates to me, that I possibly had some or most likely a or two.

Tired out now, but still messing about trying to sort out the changing font issue. Sod it, I made a brew of Glengettie tea and enjoyed it. Oh, I’ve just realised I’ve not had a Porcelain Evacuation all day!

If a need for food develops, then I might have an evacuation. I have more eyes and shoots to remove from the potatoes before putting them in the oven.
I took these pictures on the left earlier and forgot about them; it could happen to anyone, I say.
But the odds are it’ll be me!

Gorgeous clouds.

Then, I had another go at this blog. I’m not certain what’s happened or happening now.
But I was brought back to reality a smidge when the bloody, costly WordPress package started changing the font again. The obvious reason for this? Me! I doubt I am capable any more!
Amazingly, I grafted away without struggling to see as bad as I usually do in the evenings. I spent hours, most of the time, changing the font back and making errors. Eventually, I gave up. I had to. It’s now 01:45 in the morning.  I’m drained and tired out, and I just smelt the burning potatoes in the oven! Another oven tray to throw away. More potatoes to de-scab and cook again. Which I did, smilingly, happily, contentedly… I speak LYINGLY Hehehe!
I did take these final photos. I hope to stay awake long enough to snap a photo of the potato meal. That is if I don’t get a  or fall asleep and burn these potatoes. I do live well! 

I forgot, Warden Deana called with my change for the foot lady and told me that poor Josie was not the woman we all know in the home she went to after her fall.

Back in the morning… well, it’s morning already, innit.
I made a meal for the third time, and I got to eat instead of burn it.
Nothing fancy, but I was hungry, so I enjoyed it.
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Cheers!

Accifauxpa Whoopsie-Prone Inchy: Sat 23 Mar 24

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

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Woke and rose at 04:15hrs: After over five hours of kipping! Grrreat!  Took me a while to nod off, but I only had three, I think
And didn’t visit me once! But, as usual, when I moved, this time it was both & giving me grief, and it must have taken me five minutes to get to the wet room. More on that later.
The absolute worst thing to affect me was in the late afternoon, & launched an attack that I ended up surrendering to and gave up trying to do this blog. Defeated!
With the coughing and downfall of skin when the forehead. , I’m surprised I have any skin left on my head; it was falling off all day. Later I rang Sister Jane, and she and hubby Pete were not in good health at all. Jane’s cough sounded terrible. I’m worried about her now. As I moved to get the B17 tablets that Jane had told me had arsenic in them and told me not to use them, to read the label – I went down on one knee. Suddenly, I dropped the landline telephone. , I took a tumble when  gave way. I grappled my way back up on my feet to get to the landline; poor Jane was coughing away something wicked. So many people seem to have this ‘Lurgie’ thing this week. Several Carers, the nurse, the electrician… oh, and me. I hope it’s not another form of Covid, and HMG wants to keep it quiet, with the election coming up?
Much later, I tried again to get some blogging done. Well, I did a bit, but it was error-ridden and amazingly hard work, trying to keep a clear head on the task.

Passed well, not a bad colour.

Concrete, mush, torpedo, gooey, nothing moved, wet and watery, squirty… Never the same twice in a row! You watch it now I’ve said that. Hehe!

Kitchen view.

Back to the wet room. Not for the again, but to clean up Little Inchies bleeding, I caught the catheter tube closing the window. Talk about hurt! Cleaned it up and medicated things

On leaving the wet room, I saw the moon high in the sky. I thought this is worth photographicalisationing. But could I get a decent shot? No!
This is getting bad now. This time, as I was trying to get a decent shot, a , not only that but joined in as well. Then, after taking the sad pictures and closing the window… , I knocked the knife block off of the window ledge. The tip end of the cheese knife broke off when it hit the floor.

Naturally, these incidents didn’t phase or bother me in the slightest. I just laughed them off.

I made a brew of Glengettie and got the computer on to work on this blog. A new Caregiver arrived and Medicated me, put the diabetic soaks on for me, and had a little natter. What about escapes me now. Tsk!

I computed for it appears, for five hours, according to the clock, but not according to the work and progress not done on the blog. I may have suffered a   or maybe , but I recall nothing of this time whatsoever. The rot had set in.

called, and I bluffed my way through. I think, in fact, I did not stop talking to the poor gal. It would help if I could remember what she was talking about. I think I may have, possibly, conceivably mentioned the Lurgy because Joanne sounded like she had a sore throat… or did she?

I did continue on the blog, but it was a bit farcical. I’ll have to get u[ early in the morning so I can get a shave and shower before the Carer arrives, then get back on this Inchy blog. I’d taken some photos… I know this cause I found them on the SD card.
What amazing views.
Gorgeous.
Oh, how I’d love to recall the pleasure of taking them.
These two below, I took later.
I do recall taking these.

I won’t make a meal yet cause it’s close to the last Carer calling time. I’m a different being compared to the one I was hours ago. Struggling a bit here!

But I’m so glad I got the graphics and ode done early on.

Best nosh in a long time.

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You Take Care Out There, Please!

Inchcock Today: Wednesday 21st September 2022

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

WEDNESDAY’s POLITICAL CARTOON

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03:40hrs: Another shooting awake, the arms jounced, and slowly the brain woke up as well. The only thing it was interested in was my hastening to the Porcelain Throne. So, I did!
No injuries or Accifauxpas en route; I got settled in the regulation position, and the evacuation began. I should think it was 80% putrid air and 20% of watery kaki-coloured liquid, with a few bloblets of the expected stuff mixed in.
Not too messy it didn’t spurt out. No bleeding.
Again, I thought, well, I’m in here now; I’ll get the ablutions tended to. most another bit of the left back double molar again… I don’t know how it hasn’t all gone by now; the number of times I lose a chunk of it?
I took extra care with the shaving this time. A couple of tin nicks, no bother.
Ah, there were some difficulties here. The Germoloiding of Harrolds Haemorrhoids went perfectly smoothly, with minimum pain of any sort. Then, the Phorpain gelling was more or less in the same style. Then, for some reason, the applicationing of the
Daktacort can only be described as horrendously painful. I stopped as soon as I felt that much pain in such a delicate area. And went to fetch the magnifying glass to see if I could find a use-by date in the tube or box. Nope, couldn’t see one anyway. I went to the medical drawer in the kitchenette and ferreted about for another tube. None left! I must ask Richard or Deana to order some for me.
A smothering of Germolene in place was tried. Totally-ineffective. I dare not use what bit of Daktacort that was left in the tube, so threw it away.
Then, the Danger of the Day, so far, had to be faced. 

Of course, I wasn’t worried at all; a heroic man with so many ailments is not going to let a plastic-coated finger-crunching, blood-letting thing like metal Sock Glide intimidate me. Well, more than suspected!
I got through it and got the socks on. A plaster on the trapped bleeding finger was all I needed this time. Freshened up my wobbly short-overweight body with antiperspirant spray and aftershave. Got dressed and tackled the next job, the .
Back down again! SYS 137. DIA 72, Pulse 78 bpm, and body temperature a good return at 34.3°f.
Back in the High-Norm amber area. I suppose a being shown is okay?
The second lowest rating I’ve ever recorded! Now I shall be looking to get in the green soon… Hehehe!

Was banging about above early again, around 06:00hrs. He must be making things for Christmas pressies early, mayhaps? Come think of it, I reckon he was noisy late at night and early mornings this time last year? I may be wrong, of course. ♫ It’s not unusual for Inchcock to be wrong… ♫

I got the computer on, and many comments on my blogs were received. It was from Bill, so I answered him. Off to make a mug of Thompson’s Punjana, and I took this morning shot of the view from the kitchen window. Not exactly awe-inspiring, is it?

I went back to the computer and checked the Emails.

Morrison and J Sainsbury’s had set a list of their substitutions and not available goods in today’s orders to be delivered.
Not good, is it? Still, I can give away the Tikka substitute; Deana might like them. The tomatoes should be okay. It’s funny how they always send dearer than the original substitutions.
JS had done even worse than Morrisons; that takes some doing. Same thing, dearer substitutes.
But they failed to tell me that the cheaper chilli cans I’d ordered were going to be substituted with a lot dearer ones! Humph! Anyway, I started to get things stored away. The Imperfect Tasty Strawberries were one for Deana and one for Francis, who I hope she’s back from the hospital by now and feeling better. I’ll ask Deana later.
Ah, my treats to myself here! Vegetarian shepherd’s pie, roast potatoes, veggie pasta, and sliced potatoes (well, it cuts back on chopped fingers!). Seasoned fresh cut chips as well… Oh, and a new one to me, Silky Butternut Squash Risotto; no idea what it will taste like, but without trying it, I’ll never know. Did you see that? Words of Wisdom… from me! Hehehe! Beefburgers and pot noodles for Carer Richard. Some individually portioned sticky rice pots and substituted No Chicken Tikka Masala with rice. I tried the one I ordered cause I knew I was okay with sweet & sour sauce. But I’ve tried Tikka before and did not like it. Are J Sainsbury staff told to select lousy substitutions on purpose? Is not sweet & Sour Chinese? And Tikka Indian?

At least they didn’t send me a pot of brown shoe polish this time. I’m not joking; I ordered potato cakes once and got a shoe polish pad!
Still, the owner has just lost a family member, the Queen. So, say no more. At least Morrison’s managed to deliver my favourite ready meal of all time. Roast Vegetable Risotto. It’s cracking tasty! I always put just a drop of BBQ sauce with it. And the packet of mushroom risotto I had yesterday, I think it was, was grand.
This is a loaf got the Wardens, cause it keeps fresher longer… someone told me.
I got some brown cobs for me from Lord Sainsbury: J Sainsbury plc is the parent company of Sainsbury’s Supermarkets Ltd, the third largest chain of supermarkets in the UK, with a 16.4% share of the market. As of 2021, the largest overall shareholder is the sovereign wealth fund of Qatar Royal Family Investment Authority, which holds 14.99% of the company. It is listed on the London Stock Exchange and is a constituent of the FTSE 100 Index. The chain’s annual report shows that chief executive Simon Roberts picked up £2.8 million in bonuses for the year to March 5, on top of his £878,000 a year salary and other benefits. His mammoth pay deal includes a £1.7 million annual bonus and £1.1 million in long-term incentive scheme shares. Shame no one there knows the difference between a Chinese meal and an Indian one. Just thought I’d mention it! Not that I have anything against the Indians, they have my greatest respect and admiration. It’s just that their food does not sit well with me. Where was I?

Oh, yes… These were some of the giveaway items. I bought a few trays of fluffy rice. I just thought Deana might like one to try. Hope she likes Tikka.
She did call later after I’d got everything put away… Ah, something else I forgot to mention… A pack of six 1 litre Spring Water was delivered today; luckily, it was the first thing I moved into the kitchen from the blocked by food doorway. I felt the leaking water running down my leg onto the carpet; I then dropped the bottles when I got into the kitchen. What a mess I got into, and cleaning it up was no fun!
I lost the plot there… Sorry.
I put the flowers on the trolley, ready for when Deana or Julie, or both, came to see me about the lift for Friday.
Richard told me Deana would be calling today to see me. Which she did.

She told me she’s arranged for the lift on Friday to be for 10:00hrs So, hopefully, I can get to the B&M store to get some of the canned drinks that the Carers took to. I got some last week… no, a fortnight ago. But they all went first, but  I just cannot remember what they were called. When I see the cans, I’ll know, He says… Hehehe!
Onto the computer to make a start on this blog at long last.

♫ Oh, Susana… ♫ Hello, who’s that? It was Esther, after her six-week break visiting her family in South Africa for two weeks, that turned out to for four more. Can’t blame her! She’s calling tomorrow to do the laundry. She asked for a pen so she could write a note to another customer and post it through his door – I made sure I got the pen back this time! Hehe! 

I believe the sudden fatigue is coming back again now. 14:00hrs?
I’ll get a vegetable risotto in the microwave and add one bay-sized fluffy rice after three minutes, so they are ready at the same time. A drop of BBQ sauce will be added after cooking. This week I shall try harder to avoid any burnt fingers or dropped items when struggling to get the lid off of the trays.
The foods were both nearly ready. I made up a pot of Idaho instant mash with bubble & squeak, adding some extra-strong grated cheese and a quirt of my made-up to the bottle of liquid salt & distilled vinegar to the pot. Added a mini-pot of lemon mousse to the tray and got into the recliner to feast!


I had a cough and thought I saw some specs of blood in the tissue, well, the paper towel I used.
The meal was cooling as I checked the nose and mouth. Nowt to fret over, but puzzlingly all the ulcers in the gums seem to have erupted at the same time. I didn’t realise I’d got so many pustules in the gums. As for why this happened, I remain, as ever nowadays, confused.
Finally, I began the feast, ’cause that’s what it was, and even though I’ll let it cool more than I meant to, it was delicious! A Taste-Rating of 9.3/10!

I put the tray on the Carers desk next to the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, Harold Haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable from, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner. And drifted of with a satisfied stomach into a wonderful – but short-lived, dream-filled sleep.
♫ Oh, Susana… ♫ chimed out and brought me rudely to a state of semi-wakefulness. Blow it; I can’t remember her name now. Humph! She apologised for being late and mentioned how rushed she was. She soon got the medications sorted; and, with what seemed a reluctance, ask if there was anything else. There was, but she seemed so pressed I didn’t mention anything. A nice gal, I told her to pick a treat on her way out.
I think I was about to nod off again when I remembered I’d not locked the door. So, I locked it…


Turning back from locking the door, I thought I’d have a look through the spy hole – which proved near fatal. Hehe! I twisted my back as I turned again, setting off poor and, at almost the same time, stubbed my toe on the three-wheel walker guide wheel… but I’d not finished yet. Oh, no!
Cursing my bad luck under my breath, and went into the wet room for a wee-wee and apply some Phorpain gel to Shirley. And walked into the doorframe, hit the shoulder, stopped, and automatically pee’d in my PPs, and I felt like crying. But I resisted it, after all being the heroic, stoic, brave, strong young man that I am…
At least Bladder-Belinda’s sudden leak came when I was in the wet room.
I evacuated the remaining few drops of urine from Bladder-Belinda. Stripped off and had a good clean-up. Germoloided Harold’s Haemorrhoids,
And got the crap, not very effective  MedPhorpainPhorpain gel, rubbed into my back as best that I could get at. Surprisingly, the toe stinging started to ease off?
Got some fresh PPs on, the Depend brand that had coped admirably well with Bladder-Belinda’s earlier escaping mini-torrent. was left until last. Because the shoulder charge on the wet room doorframe had set her off shuddering away, but now she had calmed down.
It took me so long to sort things out that by the time I was leaving the wet room, the and , were of little bother now.
Of course, now I had to rely on to get me through the doorway without any . Easy-peasy! I think that when I go going into the room and the light blaring at my eyes is why there are more walk-intos than when leaving the wet room?

A momentary Sherlock Holmesian conclusion there?Haha!

I got settled into the c1968 recliner seat…
Tired out, with Thought STorms to compete,
My mood was just a tad downbeat,
Thought of the Risotto… that was a treat!
Cramps now, in the fingers, legs and feet!
I must be getting closer to the scrapheap,
Losing my battle for peace and sleep…
My life seems full of things grossièreté!
Don’t know when, but I got nodded off alreet…
Dreamt I was on holiday; it looked like Crete?
2:55hrs, I sprang wide awake. Did I oversleep?
Asleep only five minutes, I could weep!

MORNING ALL!

An Ode to My Ailments

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6Sat04

Barry Bladder & Hernia Harry

6Sat07

I went in the QMC for a Hernia operation,

Summat else came to the surgeons attention,

He said he’s found cancer in the bladder,

But not to worry, he said as we had a natter,

He’d lasered both problems with antimatter!

But I suffered later, Harry returned, it’s mind over matter!

 

6Sat05a

Duodenal Donald

The problem was soon outright,

Although it was a bit of a fight,

The surgeons said it’d be risky and tight,

But things should come out alright,

But couldn’t stop the bleeding, that was a fright!

They did stop it finally, to my delight!

 

6Sat08

Haemorrhoid Harry

I have to say, this left me feeling sore,

But surely it will mean, Haemorrhoid cream no more?

No suppositories, prodding, probing, Cor!

But they returned, worse than before!

 

6Sat05

Aorta Albert

A bit of a shock, when I saw the Doc,

She said you’re a chip off the old block,

Your Dad had such an op, a bit of a shock,

Makes a change from operating on your buttock,

But you’ll pull through me old cock!

 

6Sat03

Sandie Seer

Twitching eyes, jump and jerk,

But when steady, they still work,

Though not a regular querk,

It can drive you berserk!

 

6Sat03a

Nerveless Nigel

Diagnosed two weeks before the stroke,

By Dr Rahannmuta, a wonderful bloke,

Not averse to a laugh and joke,

Although I don’t, he said you must not smoke!

And gave me a year, before the nerve-ends die, get broke.

 

6Sat09

Suzie

Worra shock, I was in a terrible mess,

Couldn’t wash, shave or even dress,

Two months hospitalisation, no less,

Why I ask, but it remains answerless,

The After-Stroke Physio leaves me breathless,

But certainly not painless!

There are periods when I feel brainless,

But some helpers have been invaluable, God Bless!

 

6Sat10

SSVB

(ScabsSpotsVeinsBulges)

Caught this in the Stroke hospital ward, one can’t forget,

Blood-papsules, weals, scars, lumps, bulges, a guaranteed bet,

Welts, contusions, blemishes, dapples, maculations, invariably on the legs set,

Thrombophlebitis and assorted Clopidogrel grooves and ridges show,

The legs appearance change every day, a new vein or burrow,

A reaction to a changed medication, they say to me,

Vasculitis and venous thromboembolism or VTE,

What next, can I charge folks to look, Hehehe!

Right-hand side sensory nerves are almost kaput,

The neurotransmitters, nearly as dead as a mutt,

I’m even getting boils and growths on my butt!

 

6Sat11

Myasthenia Gravis (MG) – The latest ailment.

 This was written, to cheer missen up, and it did!

I thank you!

WDPT07R

Inchcock Today Mon 2 Nov 15: Hospitalistic activities today

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01topj0101aMonday 2nd November 2015

Didn’t wake until 0620hrs! What a kip that was – must have needed it?

WC’d – Little Inchy had not been bleeding so much. Angina still bothersome, but other ailments seemed content with not bothering me… yet. Hehe!

Put the hooks on the kitchen board edge and hung me oven glove and tea towel on it – this will probably be me sole effort at sorting today.

Got the GP for me Warfarin INR blood level test – then meeting Pete to go with him to the hospital and keep his pecker up – he don’t like em, hospitals yer know. Then the clinic to attend. Usually after they have been examining poking prodding and playing with ‘Little Inchy’ the P1020344soreness, pain and embarrassment cause me to want only sleep after treatment, certainly not any exercise or physical effort of the slightest degree! Humph!

Took a photo of the kitchen as it is now. Signs of organisation coming on nicely methinks. I’ve decided to keep the 3-tier wheeled trolley for use as and when needed?

Did some Facebooking and checked the emails.

Set out in the fog, well heavy mist and walked down Winchester Street – where I realised I had not got me hearing aids in Whoopsie1 – left them soaking in the pot on the side of the sink – Again, Tsk! along Mansfield Road to into Carrington and the 04hGP surgery just in time.

The nurse, a nice and jolly good girl had to come right up to me and touch me on the shoulder as I couldn’t hear her calling me name – it cheered me up just seeing her patient smile.

She even let me photograph her as she prepared to take e blood test, bless her. Had a natter while she was dealing with me. (Nice!)

I was soon out in the dank misty weather again. It was done so quickly I had time to have a walk back into Sherwood, wait for a bus up to the flats and collect me hearing aids.

Had a nice natter with two other residents of the flats while waiting.

Up to the flat and put me hearing-aids in, made a cuppa and WC’d.

Then back down and out to catch the bus into town to catch the bus out to the QMC Treatment Centre and meet Pete.

Another nice natter on the bus with another resident – he was telling me about how nice the newly modernised Flats were at Sneinton Dale and we were to get a similar upgrade, next on the list so to speak – but it would me a year or so at the earliest.

Caught the bus from town, and walked around the QMC compound to the Treatment Centre at the back. The mist was clearing and the sunshine tried to get through.

P1020351

Pete outside the Treatment Centre

Got missen settled with me crossword book and waited Pete’s arrival, which was in ten minutes or so.

He was soon called in and was out in 15 minutes or so.

He still ha to go back for checks in 3 months, and they had found two new 01topj9cpossible spots of skin cancer on his face.

I took a photo of the suspect spots on Pete’s face.

I assumed these spots and those on his back that had been treated were created over the years that Pete was brick-laying and showing off his body to the local female population of wherever he was working. Hehe!

04h01We travelled back into Nottingham (Oh that free pensioners bus-pass is Sooo appreciated) and I left Pete at his bus stop outside the Train Station, and walked into town to catch a bus to the Clinic.

It was a bit dank now. They were starting to build the Christmas stalls on the Slab-Square. A sole Ice-cream van with the man inside leant up against his ie-cream maker dozing was a sad sight.

Whoopsie2 Made a right clot of missen here – the appointment was for tomorrow not today! Still, when I told the chap on the reception about the problems I was having, he told me to take a seat and he’s try tp get someone to have a look.

It was getting late and I felt bad bothering them as time shot by and it must have been close to their finishing time. But this did mean that when I did get to see someone they didn’t mess about like usual, and i was soon laid out on me back having Little Inchy probed and prodded by two, yes Two medical personnel! both embarrassingly looking at me privates through the electric lighted giant magnifying glass! No Clotrimazole, Daktacort or Betamethasone creams given me to use this time (Which I was hoping for), after they had a natter and consulted another person, they gave me an injection near me Little Inchy’s tackle.

Told me if the bleeding and or stinging pains have not eased or gone within 48 hours, I was to make an appointment using the code they had written down for me ASAP. They would send me a return appointment tomorrow for about five/seven days time. 

At that one of them escorted me to the exit as everyone else had gone home already and the scary miserable sod on the reception had, had to wait for me before he could lock-up. Oh dear… at least they treated me, they could have said come back tomorrow couldn’t they?

Dark now, as I painfully sat down on the bus to go back to Sherwood. Felt a bit light-headed. Checked I’d got the code in e pocket. Of course no buses running up to the flats this time of night, so had a walk through the park up to the flats, being careful on the wet leaves.

Straight to the WC ad made good use of the porcelain. (Phwer!)

Made a cuppa. No desire for food much, so had a pot noodle with black bean sauce.

Not feeling too good. Sat down and stayed there until I nodded off and on all night.

Sat 9.5.15: Inchcock Today: Ingordigiousness abounds…

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Saturday 9th May 2015

 Got a decent sleep in last night, a good 6 hours.

The dreams were something about me in a crowd like in the cup final and I was searching everywhere for someone or something – ended up with me looking down at missen and I was in a giant pan being boiled in soup? I seemed quite happy with this though.

Woke and climbed downstairs.

IMG_0134The clouds were moving at a fast pace this morning.

Sprayed some weed-killer on the garden patch – the kids have been in again throwing me rockery rocks about.

Washed me pots from last night, made a flask of tea, WC’d and did me checks: Sys 174 Dia 78 Pulse 78 Temp 45c

Laptop on and started this diary off.

Coreldraw froze – Corel Paint, everytime I try to use it a message comes up telling me important update to stability faults need to be downloaded – I turn of the programme and click OK – everytime it tells me I need to turn off the programme before it can install update patch! The window informing me of this stays open all the time!

AALonaTried Serif plus and that froze. Restart after restart – blimey, it took me ages to get me first graphicalisation dun and posted on TFZ facebook!

Oh dear!

The TFZ Gal Knitters I called it, I was looking for a ‘cute’ element in it like.

Gawd I’ve got a massive headache coming on now, Tsk!

Forced missen to get a spit and polish and ready fer me trip to town – decided to go to Sneinton Market, partly because I’ve not been there for years and I thought I might get some decent photo’s fer the TFZers on Facebook.

Set off and caught the bus into town where I had a wobble around…

0603I plodded down to the Sneinton Market first.

0608Down Milton Street, left into Upper Parliament street, Lower Parliament Street through Burton Street and left through Boston Street, right up Brook Street and left into the Market… and what a sight for sore eyes it was!

Pathetic – about six stalls with crap for sale in the wind blown vast expanse 0609of concrete.

Hogwash!

So sad from the days when I used to go their in the 50’s and 60s when it was all hustle and bustle and watch yer wallet as you searched for and usually found a bargain or two.

Later when I got back I found a photo from 1961 to post along with todays to show how things have gone downhill with the open markets nowadays.

Nostalgic moment suffered here!

I wobbled to the end of Bath Street 0605and left into Beck Street, across and up Heathcoat Street and right down Goosegate.

On the corner the ‘Odd shop’ as it is known had some great stuff on display and I took a couple of snaps for the ‘Bling’ gals on TFZ.

I’ve no idea what these gems are, but 0606they looked good to me.

And these ladies watches were really different than any others I’ve seen anywhere else.

They had some hats in one if the windows but the reflection from that window meant they didn’t come out very good at all.

0607Down to Chinese store and had a wonder around getting some seaweed. My usual one in olive oil and a new one that is dried and actually looks like seaweed should. I’m aiming to try a bit of this tonight with me nosh.

They had some American pasta in the window I noticed as I was leaving and took a photo of it as best I could like.

I walked back up Goosegate through Hockley noticing something I missed in the ‘Odd Shop’ 0604window earlier.

Took a photo of it as it got me curious at to what it was and did like.

A German engineered Dry-herb Vaporiser?

I still don’t know what it is or does – can anyone help me please?

Whatever it is I hope it works cause at £325 it ain’t cheap! That’s CAD $605.79, USD $501.88, AUD $ 632.65.

0611A bit further up Hockley the model cow outside an eatery was attracting a lot of interest from the ankle-snappers.

This gal in the picture was overjoyed and tried to milk it! Not kidding. (Hehe, bless her, how one so young knew about such things I don’t know!).

I plodded on through Carlton Street and Pelham street, Thurland Street the Clinton Street East and over the road into the Vic Centre.

0613Walked through and into Tesco to get some fresh cream cakes – but overcame the desire with a willpower of steel (Not really, they were short dated).

I got some of their very nice Curried Beans and some Garden peas on offer, Sugardrop tomatoes and Cheesey Seaweed nibbles.

I left from the top entrance and walked down to Upper Parliament street – avoiding the argument going on between a group of Eastern European gentlemen by the sound of their language used to each other – odd how many English swear words were intermingled with their own language?

0612Feeling well tired now, I took a photo of the crowd and nipped off tp catch me bus back to Carrington.

I droppedoff the bus and called in the Co-op to get some of their thins – they only had short date ones left, but they were reduced so I got a pack.

The twitchell was occupied with lurking yobs so I took the long route back to the dump.

0614Still even so, Fatima and Fred must have seen me and followed because they came down for their nibbles.

A feeling of impending gloom came over me when I got in the house?

WC’d and put me purchases away, then got me 0615nosh sorted.

Dropped one of tins of curried beans on me foot…

I swore profusely!

Made a flask of tea up and took me nosh up to enjoy while watching a DVD.

0616The new seaweed is really strong – I liked it.

Just covered in water for three minutes and it was ready.

The Sugarsweet tomatoes weren’t very sweet though.

Fell asleep several times then gave up trying to watch the film.

I dreamed of Shirley Blamey and Mike Steeden and a classroom in me dreams – but can’t remember what happened in em. Tsk!

Got on with this diary then did some Facebooking.

Tue 28.4.15 Inchcock Today – A series of failures…

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Tuesday 28th April 2015

IMG_0148Fell asleep around 0300hrs. Woke on hearing BJ’s call to see if I needed a lift to the launderette around 0730hrs. Told him I’d be fine and thanked him for the offer.

Did me tests:

Sys 156 Dia 88 Pulse 82 Temp 35.1

Made a nice strong cuppa and poddled around and got the washing things ready and polished missen up a bit. Bit of rush.

Got me INR record card in me pocket in readiness fer me visit fer me tests after doing the laundry. And – it only took me around 15 minutes to find it. Tsk!

IMG_0149Got me bags ready and set off on me walk to the launderette.

Took another photo of the kids street art before it rained and it dissolved.

It looked nice today, but the wind was cold and the sun not hot.

IMG_0151The trees nearby were losing their leaves in the high winds and the leaves scattered all over the road.

I had a contemplative bit of a mood as I stood there…

Worries about my memory loses, the yobs and me various ailments were replaced temporarily with a genuine IMG_0160concern for the future of mankind. I decided we were all doomed!

A couple of pigeons came down to greet me and have their late breakfast of meal-worms and mixed sunseeds.

There’s something about pigeons that I admire… perhaps because most fold consider them as flying vermin and their mere survival instincts amaze me?

IMG_0153Onward to the launderette.

The sky was beautiful and it was light – but it was so cold and windy with it, it was misleading.

snA few miles north of Nottingham the snow had descended.

At the launderette the cheery sexy Polish Lyonda IMG_0152greeted me and BJ was at the cafe having his breakfast.

After loading the machined I realised I’d forgotten to take the soap powder with me.

Normally this would not have bothered me too much – but this morning I was getting a little irritated with myself about me faux pas.

Then as I sat there reading me book BJ returned and we had a little natter and laugh.

BJ ran me back to the flea-pit – as as I got out of the car BJ heard a clunk and asked me what it was, I’d not heard it (Nothing unusual in that even with me hearing-aids in) It turned out it was me camera falling out of me pocket between the seat and the door. Good job BJ heard it and told me! That would have put me on a mega-low if I lost that.

I took the washing up and then realised I had not got me mobile phone – an hour searching revealed nothing in the house. Then I remembered the camera dropping out of me pocket in BJs car as got out of it – a feeling of extreme woe and stupidity came over me. I could not ring BJ on me spare as the number for him was in the old one I’d lost!

I decided to go into the EE shop where I got the sim card from and ask for advice as I go through town on me way to the hospital.

IMG_0154As I walked to the bus-stop I espied a new piece of Nottingham Street Art on Church Drive near the flats. Courtesy of some Estate Agent I assumed.

It must have been blown down by the high winds presumably.

Onward to catch the bus and into the City Centre – where I plodded into Clumber Street and entered the EE shop to ask for advice about me lost phone.

IMG_0155I explained me situation and that I was concerned that not knowing where I’d lost me phone, I was unsure if it might have been stolen and the card being used?

I was passed on to another assistant ‘Samuel’ who although a little distracted by other at times – was patient outwardly with me and it took an hour or more for him to sort it for me. He offered me the old sim keeping the same number and a free phone for the same monthly cost. A Nokia Lumia. He got it going and explained a few things about its working to me. Got the internet on this one. Confused by it all I agreed and he sorted me out.

I called into the Holland & Barret shop to see their prices for the St Johns Wort and purchased a pack I thought was cheaper than me local chemist. Later when I compared the two – it transpired these H&B ones were smaller. Huh!

IMG_0157Caught the bus to the Queens Medical Centre, the flags were a-blowing in the wind.

The place was very busy, being so late in the day – a time I usually avoid going if I can – but my cock-up in forgetting to go yesterday meant I had cope with it – my own fault.

I had a read of me Spike Milligan book while waiting for me number to be called, but could not concentrate in it properly for fear of getting into it and missing me number.

An hour or so later I was called in and tended to. Gave the nurses their nibbles bag and departed to catch a bus into Nottingham.

IMG_0158Being so late in the day now, the place was busy, so I nipped into trinity Square and took a photo of some ‘Bling’ for the TFZ gals.

The square actually has some people in it today – a happy contented merry lot of folk they were too. WPlie

IMG_0159Popped into a shop and got a Boiled Egg cob for a quid.

Walked down and caught the bus back to Carrington.

I’m afraid the new phone will take some getting used to – I thought it best if I ever get to see sister Jane again I’ll take it and asked Pete to set it up for me and offer some guidance for me.

Funny, I can remember how to bone bacon that I learnt in 1963 – but getting around these new fandangled phones…?

DaktacortWC’d. I’m afraid the ‘Inch’ has started bleeding again, the lesion has opened – More stuff to worry about now – Tsk! Luckily I have some of the Daktacort cream left over from last time to use.

IMG_0162Made me nosh:

Roast baby potatoes, Krakowska meat, cooked beetroot. garden peas, rocket and the boiled egg cob – followed by two blackcurrant ice cream lollies.

Fell into a deep sleep for several hours.

Awoke and made a cuppa then started this Diary like.

Took me medications.

Feeling a bit down with me fau-pars like.

Inchcock Today: Monday 3rd October 2014

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01M01

Monday 3rd October 2014

I was up at 0145hrs wide awake, mind you I did get me head down early.

Down to the fridge for the Inchy cream – now this morning it didn’t bleed much at all? But I’m still going to visit the G.U.M. clinic to see if I can or indeed need any more of the Daktacort cream, especially after it bled so much yesterday. (The ‘Inch’ not the cream like)

Got my LOMM posts all done, and was pleased with some of the graphics.

Did some Facebooking before getting ready for the long walk to the Clinic.

I set off and got as far as the end of the road and realised I’d not got me mobile phone with me, so returned and collected it… after a little search proved fruitful. Tsk!

Set off again on the trudge to the G.U.M. clinic.

Only had to wait about 20 minutes, and a young strapping lass came and called my name out. She took me into a little office and I explained everything to her about me bleeding tender little ‘Inch’.

We went into the examination room and she had a look with the magnifying tool and showed concern saying she would fetch a doctor to have a look at it. Despite all I’d explained to her about the bleeding, this surprised her.

A female doctor returned with her and had a good decker and grope at the ‘Inch’. Painfully at times.

She declared that she was going to consult with someone else and left, covering up the ‘Inch’ with a paper towel.

She returned and had  prod about again, the declared she was going to prescribe some cream with steroid in it. To be applied thinly once a day. I was to use it for 3 weeks then return for a check up. If things had not improved I’d be referred to a doctor for consideration for further investigation and even the snip.

01M02When they left the room this time as I waited for the Betamethasone corticosteroid cream to arrive – I definitely heard much laughter from the other side of the door! Never mind eh.

The cream arrived and I left and caught the free bus to the QMC for me INR level tests to be done. I got a bit of reading done en route. (Blood Red Snow).

When I arrived at the QMC I went up to floor D and the Anticoagulation therapy Department to explain why I wanted it doing today on the Doctors instructions. They said it would be alright, and sent me back down to the ground floor where I took a ticket and joined the queue.

Only two nurses on duty, but I managed to have a little natter with them.

Then caught the bus back to town and another out to Carrington, where I dropped off at Lidl to get some bread. I joined the queue at the till and waited as my beard grew and paid for the bread, again getting 4x1p pieces in the change.

As I walked home I thought I’d save all these 1p pieces and spend them at Lidl in one go, if they moan I’ll tell not to give em me in me change then!

Saw Big John going to the launderette instead of Tuesday. He said he’s got to go to a funeral tomorrow.

Got back to the dump, WC and laptop started passed wind and felt the blood from me piles running.

Went up and cleaned myself up – Gawd I’m getting through some clothes this last week. Bloodied underpants, pyjama bottoms, bedding etc.

Another traipse to the launderette tomorrow then.

Ah well!

Inchcock’s Diary: Sat/Sun 1/2 November 2014

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Saturday 1st November 2014

I slept for a longer period than I have for ages last night.

When I woke up at 0215hrs I was aware of flashing lights coming through the window and investigated – up the hill I could see many emergency vehicle lights flashing, at least six I estimated.

I tried to nod off again but gave up returning to my slumber at 0310hrs and the lights were still visible on the hill. I popped (limped) down and got the camera (and Daktacort cream) and tried to photo them (The emergency vehicles not the Dakacort cream like). But the window was too dirty, the incident too far away, the lights too small and those photo’s I took were like modern art – I could see nothing in them!

I checked out the ‘Inch’; only tiny specks of blood and the stinging seemed less this morning. But then again, I did not wake up with him in his usual excited state.

06St02

Brekkers for Inchcock this morning

I then remembered it was the first of the month, and was determined to change my luck by my first spoken words being Rabbit rabbit rabbit; unfortunately I stubbed me toe at that moment and my first spoken words were “Argh!!”

0340hrs: Down and laptop started, made a cup of best Yorkshire tea and Jersey full cream milk and took medications about 0410hrs. A little early but I thought best do it now so I don’t forget later.

Started this diary in an effort to get Britain’s youngsters to read it, and inform them of what can happen to one when they get older and decline slowly into oblivion. Good that, I might use it later on the web methinks. Hehe!

I felt more cold, tired and weak as the day went on.

Didn’t go anywhere at all, saw no one and only spent my time on the web or preparing posts.

Not a good day health-wise methinks.

Sunday 2nd November 2014

07Head

Bit of dizziness this morning, so I took it steady. Despite the sleep I’d had, I still felt a tad weak and tired.

I went down to get the cream from the fridge. The ‘Inch’ was throbbing again, sore tender and bleeding a bit. Applying the Daktacort cream was not a pleasant job this morning. (Ooh, ah, glurkumzap)

WC.

The Haemorrhoids were bleeding as well, quite a bit.

I was a mite concerned that today was not going to be a good one when the out of the blue depression came over me.

I hate feeling sorry for myself. There are so many others in much worse situations than I. I thought I’d wrap up well and try to get out later for a walk and get some camera use in, to try and shake missen up.

Core blimey, I’m sneezing away like a good un here now.

Made a cuppa with the Jersey full cream milk and took me morning medications.

It seems to be getting colder now… might have to think again about going out? Mmm.

07Su01Doing some prep work for me posts on Inchcock and LOMM and got the wet warm feeling in little Inchy. Went up with the last of the Dakacort cream to investigate.

Oh dear oh dear oh dear – blood in great proportions did flow,

Took me ages to stop it bleeding, got a mild panic you know.

I thought to the hospital perhaps I should go?

Being s Sunday, I thought instead no,

To the NHS drop in centre on me walk I’ll go.

So I got missen ready and poddled/walked into town.

07Su021315hrs: Got to the centre and explained me situation to the gal on reception, and she said take a seat it won’t be long before your seen.

1500hrs: Got called to see a nurse. Again explained everything and he said to go to the G.U.M. clinic in the morning to have it checked out again.

07Su031535hrs: Left the centre and had a walk through the city centre.

I noticed the Trinity Square multi-million pound food court was busy again?

And the new outdoor double row of very expensive restaurants was also doing a roaring trade.

07Su03aWell tired I made me way to the bus-stop – having another dizzy spell on the way.

I caught a bus back to the dump and just faded, did nothing but get summat to eat and me head down.

Not a good day.