Matron Jackie

Inchy Today: Wed/Thurs 1st-2nd July

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

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Inchies’ Ode to his legs and feet
Left leg thinner, right one bigger,
Right knee okay, left one even benter,
Both feet swollen, hurtful & bloated,
My limbs are going multicoloured,
The brain? Getting lackadaisicalalised,
My toes bent, swollen and warped,
She’s stopped calling me, my toenail cutter,
Can’t find another, but my savings wither,
No long calls this week from any Carer,
My need for the ATM is getting seriouser,
The world is on its way to being extirpated,
Who gets all he needs? Only an Oligarcher,
Life? Never balanced, levelled, or equated,
One  gets depressed and so frustrated,
Never getting cared for or compensated,
Medical needs get hampered and hindered,
Robots, AIs, reality; humanity absconded,
Never have so many felt aporia…
Never so many are getting poorer,
The same can be said of dysphoria,
Such disrespect for the ass, the law,
The old, abandoned, get more austere,
Living with no hope, just fear!
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MOANING TIME
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The Carer phoned the EENT number for QMC Hospital, Nottingham. As they had asked me to schedule an appointment for the pre-op Cataract test. I had a seizure while having the first one and spent the night in Cardiac. They told him to ring back later or next week. After he’d gone, I gave it a go but checked the number again to ensure I’d got the right one. Google gave me the extension: 81111. So I rang the switchboard and pressed 81111 when instructed; it was engaged. I tried again later; it was engaged. One more try, and I got to a human for the first time. Who told me I’d rang the wrong number? Ring the switchboard and ask them for the extension. Which I’d done earlier. It got confusing then as she gave me the 81111 extension to ring. This is the ENT’s number, not the eye specialist’s. This is a photo I took the last time I went there.
Clearly stating EYE, Ear, Nose and Throat Centre.
Can the NHS really be getting this bad? Yes!
Mind you, they were four months ago, after my seizure visit. While being uncertain if I had finished the examination, due to the seizure. I asked a Carer to ring them and ask whether I have to book again. Whichever lady answered him, he asked my query and told:
“They know what they are doing!” But I didn’t.
Four months later, I get the email to call them to book again. But still I can’t get through again!
ANOTHER FAILURE
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Then, in response to a Red Cross text, telling me this is a Health & Safety issue and that the electrician has to call to do Safety Checks (on the hospital bed they loaned me). The Carer rang them today. They had no information about this. She offered an appointment for 8th July, which clashed with my wait of 7 weeks to see the Doctor. Best ring back again next week? Despite the reference number being revealed. 
ANOTHER FAILURE
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Then, while doing the Ode, the computer froze on me. The new week-old computer that I cannot urge the repairman who bought and fitted it, and took his money, to come back to look at it.
ANOTHER FAILURE
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No wonder I get Depressed.
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Got the Ode done, and food arrived. Followed an hour later by another food delivery from a different store.
ANOTHER FAILURE
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Better get a stand-up wash & shave.
ANOTHER FAILURE
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THURSDAY 2nd JULY
Another night of waking up with a jump.
Around 04:00hrs, I felt the need for the Porcelain Throne. I gingerly got out of the bed and hobbled nervously to the wet room. My balance was all over the place. As was expected with my swollen toes, feet and legs. I took two sticks with me and got there with plenty of time to spare. And stayed there on the Throne for a long time. Constipation Conrad was in full charge. Still, no mess to clean up. The piles bled a fair bit, and it was painful to urge the one torpedo-shaped mass, which hit the water with a clunk, leaving about 30% sticking out of the water. I was glad to get rid of that one. Got back into bed at 04:30hrs and nodded of easily again.
04:50hrs, I sprang awake in need of another evacuation. No doubt about it, this one was not going to come out in the same mode, because it was already coming of its own accord, into my Protection Pants!
I was concerned that I might not be able to stop the flow before getting there. But somehow I did, thankfully. Talk about opposites. This motion was all done and dusted in about 30 seconds. Took a while to clean myself up. I cannot get the PP’s on myself easily, and tore them a little, but got them on after washing things; me and the basin. Back into the bed, now with the back & shoulder hurting, from the battle to get the pants on. Settled again at around 0520hrs. I’d not even got back to sleep, and another flower-up was on its way! Fumbled as quickly as I could manage, making it with seconds to spare. Very splashy and runny. Again, it was all over very quickly. Heck of a mess to clean up again. I stayed in the wet room, thinking I’d have a shave, then be prepared for any action. But those plans were hijacked when I realised the hot water wasn’t even warm. So, I pressed the booster button on the meter and got back into the hospital bed yet again.
This time I nodded off easily… for about 15 minutes, 
Then another torrent needed dealing with. I reckon this was a fourth in 2 hours. I was sure I’d not make it in time… And I didn’t.
Self-lambasting, swearing, and frustration flowed.
The actual evacuation took about ten seconds, virtually all water, more than any brown stuff. Sorting the mess out took me yonks. I tore off the PPs, but it was too painful to bend to get a new pair on. So I put on my thin dressing gown and returned to the bed about 0650hrs. I lay thinking what might have caused all these follow-up torrents, especially after the initial bum-bursting bomb. The only thing I could think of was that maybe my having the two pots of noodles yesterday, morning and evening, may have played a part? I actually fell asleep again.  
I heard the doorbell’s 🎶Oh Suzanna🎶chime playing, but I must have heard it after it had been going for a while, cause it stopped as I tried to get out of the bed.
Carer Mizra came in; lovely to see him. He’s been doing early and late calls this week. Ejaz has only done one call this week. Damned good job, too. The other two bully boys are making my life a misery. If only they would send Ejaz & Mizra like they used to. The extended visits I’m paying for on Tue and Wed did not come. But the charges are the same. Another one on Saturday might come. Then I can get some money from the ATM to pay a toecutter and a window cleaner… if I’ve got enough left in my account, of course. 
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ONWARDS In short…
Today’s Cartoon
The much got into & out of bed
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Today was a mix of good, bad and lousy
But I spent most of it trying to catch up on my Odes word list.
I got carried away with it. I don’t know why I’m bothering. I won’t live long enough to do all the lost work, thanks to the new computer not working properly. Yet another aspect of my luck and the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, and spirits. Receptive Aphasia Phyllis, Paroxysmal dyskinesia, Episodic ataxia, Ménière’s disease, Dark, Deep, Depressing Duncan, Peripheral Neuropathy Pete, Nicodemus Neurotransmitters Dying, Glaucoma Gladys, Stuttering Stephany, Lymphorrhea Leslie, Premorbid Cognitive Impairment, the damned seizures, or the Fata Morganas. The problems with British Gas & Virgin Media. The EENT, A&E, Neurology, Urology, Red Cross, the Catheter, Doctors, and a six-week wait for appointments. That have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited sanity of mind. My faith, health, and logicality were already on the wane.
Just thought I’d mention it. Hehehe!
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GREAT SURPRISE!
Matron Jackie came with a trainee Nurse to see me today. Someone who cares and listens. It gave me a lift.
Especially when the Navigator I phoned about my right leg told me I am not on record as having problems. Contact your Doctor. Which, I admit, got to me. After waiting 5 weeks for the earliest available appointment, the earliest available appointment is next week. Wednesday, 15th July, I have a longer list of problems than ever, and she will never have the time for me to read them to her. Originally, my swollen right leg and painful right shoulder were on the list. Now added are the Catheter farce, lack of advice, told to go to A&E straight away in a taxi, as it is a Medical Emergency when your Catheter blocks. So, first, there is a £30 cost of a taxi there and back. The one visit I made was caught in a traffic jam on the ring road, and it cost me £25.40. I struggled to find the £30 in the first place; now I didn’t have enough to get home. I worried before the 5-hour wait to see the Doctor.
Medical Emergency?  
I explained all this to Matron. Who did something amazing – She listened to me! Bless Her!
She sorted out the Catheter, making sure the night bag fits this old Catheter.
Then suggested that I take a ‘Respite Visit’ to a home.
After mentioning all the things, appointments coming, and those not sorted, BG, EENT. I’ve emailed Jenny a copy of the PALS replies to my complaints. Bless her for her help & support.
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SMB-PALS
(NOTTINGHAM UNIVERSITY HOSPITALS NHS TRUST)
Good morning, We’ve raised your concerns with the senior management of the departments.
PALS have also requested that the relevant team contact the patient directly to discuss this further.
Please let us know if you do not hear from the team within 10 working days, and we can chase as necessary.

Kind regards,
Aparna

Aparna Sajeevan (she/her)
PALS Officer
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Looking good. They are contacting Senior Management at the Hospital Trusts, and if I don’t hear from them within two weeks, they will follow up again!
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Carer Mizra said he would try to give me a shower in the morning. Great lad Mizra, as is Ejaz, but they seem to be… no, have reduced their visits to me. This did not work out I’m afraid. I had another series of terrible Trotsky Teremce Torrents
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BONUS OLD CARTOON
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Inchie: Thurs 5th Mar 26 – Busy, Confusing Day

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Sorry, but today’s busy planned and unplanned schedule was stored in my reminder notepad, but much of it is unreadable because so many things happened straight after one another. Things may be of of sync chronologically; some may be missing; some I hazarded a smidgen of guesswork to identify. It did not help with the activities of the day ending so late. Meaning I didn’t get around to doing this blog until Friday morning, after the Carers had been, and a one-hour failed visit to the Porcelain Throne. I’ll have to shorten a few of the event details, partly due to my inability to decipher certain words, and the cataracted eye deciding to give me foggy-bother so early in the morning. Plus, if I tried Roget it in its usual humour-traitedness, I would not have time to get it done by Friday or Saturday…
I’m waffling again, sorry about that.
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0650hrs: Got the night pouch off, and visited the Porcelain Throne. No torpedoes this morning. Jaut one long, unpainful, ‘thought it would never end’ flow of wet mud.
Got the kettle on, then the computer and Carer Dilan arrived. As he sorted the medications, he asked me if we had any more Bosoprolol to hand. I went into the kitchenette to check on the Carer’s Medicine Drawer. Spotted a packet of Beta-Blockers, noticing that it had been opened. As I took it to Dilan, I saw there were only three tablets in the box. I asked if we have any on order or coming that will get here before I run out of the second most important of my medications. He did not know. He rang someone but did not say who, and said, “Well, you’ve got three days yet.” I went on my NHS App, but each time it was not used, three minutes the first one, I had to go throughthe bother of logging on again, getting a code via Email, inputting it into the app, and three minutes of searching to try and find details of my prescriptions, I was blocked again and had to go through the procedure for a third time. I tried a fourth time. Found the prescriptions and checked on the Bisoprolol name to order it. Then had to fill in why I was making the request. As I was typing in, only three tablets left, I was blocked yet again. I gave up, not knowing whether my request had gone through.
I was trying to stop Dilan from worrying about the shortage, not that he seemed in the slightest bit bothered. He gave me the morning medications… now, in the past, I have been known not to take them. Ejaz & Mirzra always make sure I have, and have seen me do it.
After Dilan had gone, I saw them in the pot, tipped them out onto the memory pad, and took them. I know I get confused, but something told me there were not as many tablets as usual. That would be toying with me. I do get confused at times, usually after one of my rare, ‘With-it-Moments’. Which I had when noticing the tablet shortage.

I got WordPress opened, ready to start the blog, and Matron (I think) came in, always glad to see her. A few general questions, then she carried out a Memory Test. Read out a name & address. Matron asked me what time it was, and I looked at the computer clock without thinking and told her. A broad smile, followed by a mild ticking of later, she continued. Hahaha!
I can’t remember everything, but counting the months backwards, no, the alphabet, was beyond me. I feel a little ashamed. Or was it numbers backwards? I forget now. And my handwriting in the notes was abysmal; I think I was writing too fast to keep up with the prompts.
Another one I failed on was what month it is, without any doubt, and with complete confidence, I said February. To find out later, when Matron pointed out that I was wrong and had scored highly on the memory test. Which I thought was a good thing, and a grin spread across my face, a smug look about to erupt. But it was the opposite, and not a very good score. I’ll be referred elsewhere for further tests.
Carer Dilan arrived on his second call, and this reminded me about the missing medications, Beta-Blockers. Matron spoke with Dilan about sorting and finding out if they are coming and when. I’ve heard nothing yet.
Several lines of indecipherable rubbish on the page here. Eight of them. Not the foggiest idea, but they were in the Matron’s visiting timeline.
Matron mentioned that I had a little brain injury. I think she said it was a TBI.

But I’m not certain now. I’m sure it was a TBI. I thought the surgeon said they had found water on my brain, NPI, was it CSF? Then again, come to think of it now, CSF, TBI? I could be wrong. I have been known to get things confused lately.
Hard to believe, I know. Haha!

Jenny 🌸💜 appeared with her ingenious collapsible chair and handed me some Hills Shortie biscuits she had bought for me. She was aware that this brand of shortcake bickies was soft enough not to bother . A  sweetheart she is. She’s helped get me noticed by calling Age UK and getting the ball rolling on assessing and determining whether I’m eligible for extra help. She advises me with logical, coherent tips and dos and don’ts. 🎀 Understands exactly how my disabilities affect me. And is the only person to do so, about the seizures. She also offered help when the Carers cannot find time to do the laundry. Bless her Cotton Socks! X
Mind you, Jenny used to work in a hospital.

Then, Jake from the Nottingham City Council,  erm.. er… I’ll look it up on the mobile… Got it!
The Nottingham City Council Housing Sustainability Services. He went through both of my large boxes of files and saved paperwork. It took him ages; all were out of date, of course. It’s not up to date cause the Carer’s stopped storing them for me, not enough time to do them, but I hadn’t realised. He spent ages with me, trying to find proof of various pensions and banking details. He had to call Royal Insurance, which gave him a number for Cooperative Insurance, which the Royal had taken over. So, he rang them, all long-winded and proof of everything needed before progressing. Somehow, he eventually managed to get the details from the Cooperative Insurance. Then rang Royal Insurance back with any details he’d gathered from the Cooperative Insurance. Then needed further proof from my bank, and had to ring them again. Apparently, they are going to send me a written statement by post, and I’m to call Jake at the Nottingham City Council Housing Sustainability Services, send him a photo or copy, and then he can progress with assessing my validation to get help. Haven’t I already told you all this? I hope not.

The day had now gone, and night was falling. My eyes were fading, and my frustrations were raging.

Ejaz and the training Carer arrived, and I can’t recall if anything worth mentioning happened. I was baffled by all that was going on; I think my brain gave up on me. I did take a photo of the view through the kitchenette window. Seeing it now, not too bad a one.

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As I fell asleep at the computer, I dreamt of the skies turning to stone. Ice was forming all over the planet, and as the globe began to crack, I woke with a start and hurt my back. The Inner-Voice Spoke to me, in a smarmy, crude manner, saying: “You think yesterday and today were crap? – Hehe,  just you wait until tomorrow!”
I didn’t cry. But I thought about it!
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Fair Thee All Well!
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Inchie Today: Wednesday 13th August 2025

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Good luck, how is it bestowed? 
If you have any, how was it incurred?
I’m thinking of Keir Starmer, the turd,
How did he become PM, & put the UK at peril?
He’s clearly no honesty, not a single moral?
I see his face and get all antagonistical,
He should be trite and apologetical,
Any decency he had has been shanghaied,
I pray for the news that he has died,
I’ll hear it in heaven, where he will be denied!
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Aha, another up-to-the-neck-in-it flipping day! I thought all Wednesdays were bound to be complicated and hectic, with so many tasks to get done and so little time to do them. But this Wednesday, 13th August, brought more confusion and difficulties my way than ever before. Visitors, phone callers, delivery problems, DVT nurse, Bloof Nurse, catheter delivery difficulties, an avalanche of late mini seizures, etc.

However, the medical interruptions were joyously welcomed all the same, and made me feel cared for, not abandoned. Carer Nasra coped well with it, but I wasn’t in complete control. Silly thing to say, I’ve not been in control of my life for years.

Nevertheless, I am in deeper schnook with and about what took place – there was a two-hour period when no sooner had one problem been part solved, another alteration in plan came with the next visitor. By 14:30 hours, my writing pad had two pages of notes, offering little help in deciphering my own scrawl. This blog was not started until Thursday morning, just no time – and just as gauling, no shower, or shave for yet another day!
On the bright side, a Carer brought me an SD card from his device, and it worked in Kodak Tim 2! I’ve got a loan of it until the new Kodak SD card arrives. Which is due tomorrow. But I had to promise not to look at his pictures on the card Haha!) 

So, despite there being a load of codswallop on today, you can be certain that I’ve still missed a lot of failings, frustrations, mistakes, cock-ups, errors… oh, I left the tap running yet again. So no shave or shower. AGAIN! Be grateful for small mercies. Hahaha!

A large order arrived from Ocado. See how many bags-worth. Humph!
Cock-up number three of the day, I thought I’d ordered it for next Wednesday. I need help with this, specifically with the Arithmaphobia! I did ask Google’s AI thingy, and got: Yes, help is available for arithmophobia, even if it’s a late-life diagnosis. Arithmophobia, the fear of numbers, can be addressed through various therapeutic approaches. Exposure therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), and sometimes medication, along with lifestyle changes, are standard treatment options. I had to change three words cause it was written in US English.
Soda water drinkies, Schweppes, Lemon fool, & Carnipus sausages. I liked these, chewy but tasty!
I snapped some of the foods that tickled my fancy. (There’s not been a lot of that these last few years, Hehe, I can tell yers). These tomatoes are from the Isle of Wight. Costly, but so mealy and tasty! Voom variety.
A few naughty favourites as well. With Twiglets (not good for the teeth), Frazzles and Smokey bacon. And, of course, my top-loved Maryland Vegan cookies.
I have no idea why I bought these apples. Not a cat in hell’s chance of eating them with my few and broken teeth! The phone rang at this stage. It was the start of the catheter parts farce, which didn’t arrive.
These plain NANNS are the ones I tried with my home-made stew the other week. Remember to sprinkle water on them in the oven, and they taste delightful dunked.
Two small Fitzgerald’s sourdough batons. Ocado are dearer overall, but they have things that are not available. I tend to search for their special prices.
My supply of Spring Water and Soda water was now well stocked up.
I got a bottle of the Grapefruit and Grapefruit & Barley water to use as a top-up to give taste to the water drinks. I also got a bottle of fruit cordial or squash, whichever. Mandarin, lime & lemon.

Carer Nimra arrived for the extended visit and took the laundry down first. While she was downstairs,   Matron Jackie came. Nimra returned, as Matron was checking my lower regions front and rear. I ask Carer Nimra to clean the oven for me, especially now, after my cock-up, Whoopsiedangleplop of leaving the oven on for the 23-hour duration of my hospital stay in Cardiac visit. She did a good job on it for me. We spoke of something and… Ah, I remember now what it was. I explained what to do if I go into a seizure while she’s here; the instructions I found on the NHS site were more about what not to do. Do not touch or move them unless there is danger nearby, or injuries that need the recovery position, and/or possible Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation (CPR) are present. I asked her not to talk loudly as well. In the past, people had shouted loudly after not getting any response to their asking if I was alright, and shaking me – this dragged me from the seizure, and put me in a panic mode for some reason. That was the worst-ever recovery time I’ve ever suffered. 
I’m not sure, but I think I had a seizure after Matron left, but how can I be sure? Maybe not? Why did I think that?… As far as I know, or think, I only had two seizures all day, one in the afternoon, one about 0130hrs this morning. Why did I even mention it? I do ramble on, and I don’t have the time to do that, but I do? It’ll be another gawd knows when before I can even start on today’s (Thursday) blog. Note to Self: Stop waffling!

A DVT Cardiac team member rang me to ask how I felt. They informed me that they will be taking my blood samples more frequently from now on and will contact me with the dates and times beforehand. Please ensure you are in when they call. Possibly with a Cardiac member who will take a brain scan, BP, temperature, etc..

I got a call from the ICC Lady, via the Carer’s phone. It seems someone has already put an order in for prescription drugs & catheter equipment. I was lost even further.

Carer Nimra went down to put the washing in the dryer. I had a text about the catheter equipment being delivered soon. Ninra returned, and I showed it to her. She made some calls to clarify and tell them I only had one night bag left. After a brave succession of dealing with different departments, I got a call from Matron. I’m struggling with my writing in the notebook. I’m a little confused about what I’ve included and what I’ve left out. I’d better stop here; it’d likely come out as hogwash.

Carer Nimra returned with the laundry – all damp, with the slippers wet. But, she’s not one to be beaten, our Nimra isn’t… out onto the balcony and put the slippers on the four-wheel-walker in the sunshine to dry! And hung up the damp dressing gown in the hallway, where at that time the sun was creeping in.

Nurse Hristina arrived at the time she said she would, bless her, she is a treasure. I must ask her if she can get a bottle of Krakus Borscht. I keep forgetting to ask the Angel. 

A blessed person, whom I cannot name, loaned me an SD card & Camera Tim Kodak 2 is back in action! In fact, I took some of the food out of the fridge and cupboards to photograph; that you see above. Now, let’s hope the new card works with Amazon. I’ve also ordered some pickled vegetables for tomorrow. Looking forward to trying them, hope they are not too hot. Made in Pakistan.
I’ll try to remember to let you know.

Well, I’m sure I missed something in my rush. But, as it is now Thursday at 17:30hrs, and obviously I’ve not started on that blog yet, not even finished this one. Cuts will have to be made to let me catch up some. But, me being me, it won’t happen.

I love a good write; it makes up for not getting any good gossip, I believe.

Ar Carer Ejaz made the last call. I really appreciated having been assisted with the loan of an SD card for the camera.

I said cherrio to the sunshine.
Bye, bye…
Cheerio…
Hope to see you tomorrow!

This went down well

All the bestest!

Inchy: Tuesday 17th June 2025

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It’s time for me to transubstantiate…
I’ll just look the word up, mate…
Transform, metamorphose? Maybe modulate,
Life does exasperate, frustrate & aggravate,
Of course, it wasn’t like this in 1958,
Things were different back in the day,
One could write without using an apostrophe,
More social neighbours, though a clanjamfray,
I missed out on all things scholastically,
But I worked to earn, & live antediluvially,
I note that this Ode lacks articulacy,
Symmetry, logicality & although true, reality?
Sometimes, my thought box lacks adequacy,
I lose my own plots, I go self-admonishingly…
Deep into thoughts, waveringly…
It’s a strange world, brain; it didn’t used to be.
Once-certain plots fade, sometimes completely,
Crumble disappears, as does my general alacrity,
Things need to change urgently, straight away,
If seizures, concentration, recollecting, my memory…
If all my ailments can be sorted, then just maybe…,
Starting with those affecting me mentally,
Seizures and Peripheral Neuropathy,
Then I might live less forgetfully?
And those that affect my alterity,
I can live with not hearing clearly,
Glaucoma needs to be treated so I can see?
A bladder miracle so I can pee?
Anne Gyna needs pain relief urgently,
Duodenal Donald Reflux Roger, Dan Dyskinsia,
The fungal lesion on poor Little Inchie…
I’ve suffered since August 2013,
Harold’s Haemorrhoids, since 1993,
A mechanical aorta that went painfully!
I think I was coping well until I grew elderly,
Then the stroke, which left me strugglingly,
These aren’t written exactly chronologically!
District nurses call on me monthly,
For the catheter contraption swap, that hurts me,
Nurse Hristina, blood tests, she is lovely,
As is a rare caller, Matron Jackie,
The Matron came to see me today,
Tended the wound on Lymphorrhoea Leslie,
I think I may have arteriopathy.
My ambolyphy comes on earlier in the day lately,
The tiredness & weariness, earlier every day,
If you live long, then this is how you pay…
And with Arthritis, cartilage failing & FND,
Thanks to Starmer, I’ve far less money,
Gawd knows how much I owe for electricity,
But I don’t hate the dishonest backhander-taker,
Proof that I can still act astuciously?
No, I now despise and detest the bugger!

I’m so busy that I’ve fallen behind with everything. Many happenings and much confusion. I’ll have to miss some of them and shorten others. Sorry. DOUBLE SORRY! Cause I spent over 16 hours waffling on and getting new ideas, self-lambasting actually. Recalling from photos and badly scrawled notes. The odd things, like Matron doing my leg & telling me off, are clearish in my miserable memory. Hehe!

Nocturnal pouch.
Morning view.
Health Checks are all good, 
bar one BP reading.
Leg wound.
Food delivery.
Tomatoes.
More Tomatoes, cheesy rolls.
Gorgeous garden peas!
Meats, cheesy cobs.
Leg after Matron Jackie’s visit.
She worked out that the temperature
taker was out of balance and the BP 
machine needed to be thrown out or
recalibrated. The Blood Oxygen box
was okay. I’ll stop doing them now.
That should save me some time.
The Matron put some pads and a
plaster on the leg wound. Said if the 
plaster does fall off, I’m to ring the
Community number to get a nurse to
come and refit and check the leg.
A nurse will call in a few days to
see how it is. No showering for a
time now, then. The leg hurt more
after the treatment, but this was
expected, as whatever was on the
pads started to take effect. Oddly,
the electric shocks up the leg 
have kicked off again; they don’t 
half make me jump. Har-har!
Carer Ejaz, first call. Took the two bags of waste, mainly from the freezer and fridge. Outdated, to make room for the… wait for it… 10 bags of potato chunks that I’d idiotically ordered!
Life is getting a little more confusing, hard luck, mistakes & cock-up ridden!,
Sandra’s Mini Seizures played with and stayed with me as soon as I gave up on blogging, intending to make something to eat…
The memory blanks developed; I think Carer Joe helped again, but at this moment (Wednesday morning, 08:45hrs, the blanks returned. I’d just made a right clanger on the computer, and was in semi-panic mode, so this was not surprising.

Took a shot of the view late evening.
Then the tiredness and lack of concentration developed, a little later than usual.

Then, after a messy Trotsky Terence visit to the Porcelain Throne and a wash, I felt up to making something to eat.
Two delicious cheesy-topped, no-butter buttered rolls with tomatoes inside, three Silasain sausages, pickled mushrooms, last of the cooked bacon, and some of the potato chunks done in the oven. 
It tasted delicious. But my weariness must have had some effect (not half!), as halfway through eating it, I nodded off to sleep. Very fortunately, the tray was still balancing, albeit precariously, on the wobbly belly.
So, no mess to clean up! Off to the kitchen with half the cold meal on the tray, threw it away, washed up the dish and cutlery.

I then fetched the Kodak Tim from the other room and took this rather appealing photo of the sun sinking in the dark

The following events are not available.
Regular Service will be resumed as soon as possible.

Although that is a virtual impossibility, a chimaera, fantasy, flight of fancy, imaginative faculty, falsification, deception, porky-pie, terminological inexactitude, figment of the imagination, great imaginativeness. A piece of fiction, tarradiddle, buncombe, folderol, phooey, hogwash, a cruel deviation from the truth.
Nothing will ever be proper, safe, or acceptable again. Nor contain the slightest smidgeon of ambition, optimism, anticipation, aspiration, encouragement, hopefulness, hopes, confidence, and optimism will be obliterated, no longer extant, snuffed out. 
By whom or what?
I gave this some thought.
Xi Jinping, Starmer, Putin and/or Trump.
Premordid Cognitive Impairment.
Functional Neurological Disorder.
Approaching, Almost here, Armageddon.
Artificial intelligence, Climate change, Cyberattack, Environmental disaster, Nuclear war, Asteroid impact, Planetary or interstellar collision, A powerful solar flare, solar superstorm or a solar micronova, Extraterrestrial invasion, Natural pandemic,  We run out of water. Uninhabitable Universe: The ultimate fate of the universe is uncertain, but it is likely to eventually become uninhabitable. Then, there is ‘A reversal of Earth’s magnetic field’, Supervolcano Eruption, A Rogue Black Hole, Bioterrorism, Resource Depletion, Nanotechnology, and, highly likely, Bad governance from our country’s leaders.What is the biggest threat to the world?
While extinction is the most obvious way in which humanity’s long-term potential could be destroyed, there are others, including irreversible collapse and inevitable dystopia.
This little outburst from Inchy is possibly indicative of his insanity, his mental state, and perhaps assisted by his Peripheral Neuropathy, Stroke aftereffects, frustrations, inabilities, disabilities, mind-blanks, or his helplessness, hopelessness, feebleness, ineptness, maladroitness, uselessness, unsuccessfulness, worthlessness, ineffectiveness, & inadequacies?
Bad ears, eyes, ticker, Cathy Catheter, Cartilages Chloe & Carol, Arthur Itis in both knees, regular falls and dropping stuff, Dementia, old age, Anne Gyna, FND, of mayhap he’s just going bonkers?
Yes, we’ll settle for that! A Glaikit!

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Beginning to worry about me. Hehehe!
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WHAT A DAY!

Inchy Today: Monday 12th May 2025

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

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In this Ode, I’ll not mention Starmer,
See that? I’m already a proven liar!
I’m not an activator, actuator or advocator,
Believing once Labour got in power…
It would be a poor man’s financial alleviator,
Not a disabled and pensioner aggravator!
Nor a doom and gloom annunciator,
Our future has never been bleaker,
I don’t trust the HMG, MP, PM or speaker,
Labour: experts in taking a backhander,
I could kick him up his detrusor…
Jinx or hex him; it’d be my pleasure!
My loathing gets ever deeper,
Keir’s decisions get even creepier,
Voters crumbling-hopes get damneder,
His clever use of semi-lies & implicature…
Prevents prosecution… he is a barrister!
Who freed child killers & an axe murderer,
He’s responsible for killing off many a pensioner,
Bankrupting the family farmer…
Feathering his own nest, a meshuggener?
The man is a nihilist, self-profit-seeking,
His expense claims: do they need questioning?
No doubt about it, he’s a naysayer,
He’s likely suffering from peniaphobia,
Scared to death of becoming a pauper,
With brain cells ever working, reticular,
I noticed he’s also a slangwhanger,
He’s earned an early sepulchre,
The slower & more painful, the better!
I may sound like a hard-done-to squaller,
These odes prove I’m a schlepper…
With Starmer being a snollygoster,
He commits crimes, lies & sclaunder…
He gets away with it; that’s spectacular!
That’s because he was a high-class lawyer,
The perfect con man & thimblerigger,
As a PM, naturally, he’s titular,
He got elected because he’s a liar,
Two-faced, deceitful, a conniver,
A guilty promise-breaker
An oathed decision reverser,
A farmer & pensioner depriver,
One other thing in particular,
He also got, is, uranomania!
Divinity? He believes it! Hehehe!
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05:20hrs: I shot out of bed and leapt over the second-hand shop bought nine years ago for £300, c1966, discomfiting, alarmingly beige-coloured, crumb-containing, TV remote hiding, not working recliner. Doing a backward summersault, landing face down, and after doing a few hundred press-ups… 
It’s no good; I’m such a terrible fibber!
I inched my legs off of the bed. The catheter contraption straps were painful this morning. I detached the nocturnal catheter bag and rose rather too quickly to get the cream and rub some on the leg straps on the leg. I fell backwards on the corner of the bed and felt bleeding.
So, with the bum and top of the leg bleeding, I hobbled into the kitchen to check the taps and stove initially. But I got sidetracked when I saw the amazingly clear sky. I got Kodak Tim Two and took this snap of the clouds. Then, I took another wider shot. The Sun was already beginning to come through from behind and causing a mist on the horison.

I went to the wet room, where I decided to tend to the mess before applying the barrier cream. I cleaned the few teeth I had left and used the mouthwash. I then realised I had not put in the hearing aids. So, I went to fetch and fit them to see if anyone should call early. With the hearing aids in, I heard a strange noise from the kitchen—a tinkling sound.
Yee Gods! The fourth time in three days! Grrr!
Luckily, it had not been running too long, and the hot water was still reasonably hot enough for me to get the shaving done.
Get ready for this, folks… Dang dang, dang, Dang!
Not a single nick, let alone cut shaving!  
A fair bit of medicationings was needed. But I’ve had worse, so no complaints.
Cleaned the glasses. Did a hearing aid battery check. Olive oiled the earholes. Dry eye spray was used. Then, the Blepharitis gel. Phorpain gelled both of Arthur Itis’s knees. Both cartilages, Chloe & Carole, are at the back of the knees. I barrier creamed my armpits, underneath my man breasts and groin, paying careful attention to SOSTH (Spanish Onion Sized Testicle Henry). Below my bulging belly, my still bleeding rear-end sternum. Germolened both ankle ulcers. Then, I got new straps onto the catheter contraption. Barrier creamed them before fitting. Then I tackled .
I’m using the new-to-me Terbinafine hydrochloride cream. I’m also applying the new dropper before the much-feared pain of rubbing it in  Med Hydr I can assure you that it was thrown in the waste bin! I’ll never use that again! I shall stick with Betamethasone in the future, even if I have to buy it. Too Painful? YES! This session took a long time to complete. Of course, getting the Protection Pants on was the usual farce. Do they make anything similar to the ones on the right here? It’s suitable that I should put him on the right. Because he’s the most Tory-like Labour Prime Minister ever! Hahaha!

As I noticed the Prison alarm was flashing last night, I didn’t expect to see it again this morning. I got Kodak Tim x2 and took this very poor close as I could get to it to take a snap of the Alarm Flashing (Escaped Prisoner). But it had stopped by the time I’d prattled about to get the shot. Just my luck not to have taken it earlier. Tsk!
Carer Ejaz arrived. Bless him.
I told them of whatever they were last night, which left me in a time-lapse, confused and nervous.
The lad listened. He then sorted out my NHS breakfast.
Then, Ejaz barrier-creamed where I could not reach, mainly my feet, ankles, and back. Next, he put my diabetic socks on my feet for me.
Then he did a quick hoovering around for me. Bless him.

I got tucked into creating today’s Anti-Starmer Ode.
I was about half an hour into it, and the intercom chimed out. It was Matron. She measured me up for the wheelchair setting up. Checked my BP returns, and I waffled on about last night’s time-warping and total confusion. She reminded me to make sure I got an appointment with the Doctor. I explained that only when the Carer is on a Wednesday and Joe is prepared to go with me. Joe will remember and explain things better than I could on my own.
I think other things were discussed. Yes, Matron Jackie will ask the Doctor if I can have an oxygen level monitor. I have no idea what that actually means. I’ll look it up on Mr. Google.

Back to the Ode writing.

A series of mini-seizures came over the next few hours. Kyboshed my creativity and concentration.

Carre Joe arrived. He thinks I may have been falling asleep, which is a possibility. However, I was getting many feelings of dizziness, and my eyes seemed foggy for a few minutes, which I usually put down to my coming out of a seizure. Who knows? Not me!

Carer Ejaz made the next call. Socks taken off. Medications were issued. We had a little natter, and he was in a rush but asked if he could take my photo with my sunglasses on. Well, ever the budding model, I agreed. A handsome-looking brute! Hahaha!

I showed my prepared-earlier nosh in the microwave pot. Ejaz took a photo of that as well! He shot off after that.

I got the Ode finished and into the blog.

I went to the kitchen to ensure I’d not left anything unsafe. I put the potatoes in the dish and put them into the microwave oven.

Boy, what a view I took in these snaps of the quickly disappearing Sun. Bootiful!

Amazing Night Glow!
Then, a closer shot.
I think the eyes of the Sun were
from some trees on the horizon.
GREAT!

It’s late now, and the spuds are in the oven. I’m giving up on the blog, but the meal tempts me!
The Morrisons bread rolls were tasteless and tough.
Everything else was gorgeous!

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Here’s a four-leaf clover
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Inchy Today: Tuesday 29th April 2025

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

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Today, Three Nurses 
With one hearing aid battery being a no-go.
Communicating and hearing was like an echo,
5 hours of visits, blogging went on a furlough,
Lots not done. Showering I had to forego,
One nurse checked me from head to toe!
Nothing on underneath my Kimono,
She was kind enough not to laugh, though,
BP was taken, all good, bar my temp a bit low, 
All asked questions, a mental inferno,
Matron identified I’d now got impetigo,
One entered an area where few do go!
Appointments made to see a medico,
Arranged a visit from the Physio,
Neurology & Mental, I like it, I know…
Walker & wheelchair coming, out I can go!
Feeling cared about is totally Whack-O!
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WHAT A FLIPPING DAY
AGAIN!
A Quick rundown.
With the few photos taken interspersed.

Before the mayhem started
A six-rated night pouch.

Seconds after taking this snap, dizziness and a sudden loss of balance hit me. (No idea what brought it on) It was still with me when Carer Ejaz arrived. 
I tried to explain to him how I felt. I’m not sure if he understood me or if I comprehended what he was he was saying to me.
He’s a likeable lad, though. He got the prescription medications issued. Then, he fitted my diabetic socks. Ejaz rated the pouch-urine a 6, and then he hoovered the carpet a bit. Ejaz came up with a logical idea as to why I felt so distant, maybe because I’d been having a nocturnal seizure before getting up. A clever idea that was from the lad. On leaving, as per usual, we swapped a bit of Nottinghamian language between us, both saying ‘Tara!’.

I got on the computer to start updating yesterday’s blog. It was a bit of a slog, as I still felt oddly disoriented and confused.

I’d forgotten or failed to remember (Hehe!) that the JS food order was arriving early today. (Fancy that!)
Got the fridge stuff sorted.
Then, the freezer
Refilled the nibble boxes.
And the drinkies
Protection pads, kitchen towels, Bovril cubes, Maryland Vegan cookies, Kung Po sauce, a can of garden peas, and, to my delight, a loaf of my beloved Milk Roll sliced bread! 

Putting the things away, I heard a clatter; something had fallen down between the cooker and cabinet.
I couldn’t see what, or where, it had fallen. So, I took a photo with the flash on of the gap. It turned out to be the spyglass that I had tried to clean last week, which I had filled with a mixture of bleach and water. I utilised the picker-upperer to retrieve the magnifier.
That spyglass is not having a lot of luck, is it?
I’m not either, it had broken!

The sun came out strongly, and I hung the thin dressing gown up on the curtainless rail.Ten minutes later, I took a photo of this snap through the window. Looking suddenly bleak?
Ten more minutes later.
The sun broke through again.

THE INTERCOM RANG
A nurse was on screen, and she shouted, “It’s the Nurse,” And the screen shut down. Thinking this may be a nurse calling about the seizures I’m having. I made my way out to the lift, as I’d never seen this nurse before. To greet her as she exits the lift and show her to the flat. Alway’s a gentleman. Hehe! I waited about half an hour. However, the nurse never made it to the flat.

I had another blast on the blog. I haven’t done much, and I had a feeling things weren’t going to! 

Nurse Jane arrived from the… It’s a long name: The Community Rehabilitation, Falls, and Service for a  Physiotherapy and Occupational Therapy Assessment Session. Questions and answers. 

As she left, Matron Jackie Arrived.
A deep question-and-answer session. 
I’ll cover both of the Angel, Mainly because I can’t remember which said what. I’ll use Angel to cover Matron Jackie or Nurse Jane, as I got confused about which one asked what and the advice given.
Jane took my blood pressure, including systolic and diastolic readings, Pulse, and temperature, after reviewing the record list on my Excel sheet. I mentioned how they had been a lot better over the last two weeks.
Angel said she would ring the doctor and ask for me to be referred to a specialist about the seizures. (If indeed they are seizures). They will get me a four-wheeled walker and try to encourage me to walk more. Referred me to a physiotherapist.
The Angels asked me about the seizures and the nature of the falls I’ve had. I couldn’t answer many of the questions on this subject, but I did tell them that falls have caused these after-effects, or rather, I corrected myself that the after-effects have caused falls. Loss of balance and giddiness may occur at varying intervals after each seizure. The matron called ICC, ‘Intercity Care Company’, and asked if Carer ‘Joe’, whom I had praised to her, could ring her when he got the chance. Angel said she is going to see if extra hours can be found to get the Carers to tend to my ablution sessions. Hmm?

Carer ‘Joe’ did the evening call.
I’ve still not done the ode yet!
Might have to make it a short one. But, as you may have noticed, I do get carried with them. Hehe!
He told me he’d rang Matron Jackie. Who told ‘Carer Joe’ that the wheelchair would arrive shortly?

I love it being cared for and about! 🌼🧡

I set about cooking the beef and vegetable stew in the microwave. I had everything prepared earlier and put it in the fridge, ready to go.

UPDATE as of 16:40hrs Tomorrow, Wednesday!
So far behind again. A small price to pay for the Angels who tended to me. 💗

THE MEAL
Beef and black bean ready-made meal, with a can of minced beef, flavoured with Marmite and Bisto.
I added a can of garden peas, some pickled water chestnuts and chickpeas from the fridge.
Very Nice!

Put the TV on to watch Heartbeat and had an ice cream cornetto. As I drifted off during the adverts, the mobile chirped. A message telling me the Amazon battery order was 8 stops away from me. Needless to say, I’d forgotten all about it. Tsk!

I checked on the tracker and thought the red disc indicated that it was outside the flats.
A semi-panic visited me. Amazon is infamous for leaving ordered goods downstairs in the ground-floor lobby to be stolen. So, I went down to have a look, but nothing was there. I dare not go out to look, as I had put on my slippers and Montsuki and forgotten to take the flat key with me, which has the fob on it, to get back inside the block of flats. I was nervous about leaving the lobby, thinking the delivery would arrive if I went back up to the flat.
SAVIOUR OF THE PROBLEM!
Carer Ejaz turned up. He waited for the van while I hobbled up to the flat to check in case Amazon had told me via email that it had been delivered.
WOT A PLONKER, I AM!
The tracker told me it was still eight drops away. Then I realised I’d looked at the red circle, which is where I live, a green one was where the van was!
How I got that wrong really annoyed me!
I went back down to Ejaz, who had kindly waited downstairs to collect the batteries, and then returned to the flat.
Minutes later, Saviour Ejazz came in with the batteries. Now, I can retake photos and get the clock powered up in the morning. Ejaz put the night bag on the bed and removed my diabetic socks. I had to reheat the leftovers of the meal later. Gave me some requested Peptac. Then he gave me a body check-over, barrier creaming my bottom, man breasts all around, my belly and both ankles that he thought were looking worse than yesterday. Bless Him. 

I finished of the rewarmed big bowl of fodder.
I’d missed the Heartbeats again. However, I found a documentary about the 1940s and the war on a channel with subtitles.
Carer ‘Joe’ made the last call. Another gem here. He tends to understand my problems, and we had a little chat, and off he poddled back to his other half.

I may have to curb my blogging soon, as I have two more appointments this week and three next week already. Physio, the Doctor. Rehabilitation is then followed by the Disabled checks. A 4-wheeled walker and wheelchair are arriving, one tomorrow. Someone to go through the hospital beds functions with me. I am awaiting confirmation of the Audio Clinic, Glaucoma, and Neurology appointments.
As if it wasn’t hectic enough now! Hahaha!

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Struggling, but hoping – I think, Hehehe!
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Inchy: Masses of Mayhem Monday 9th December 2024

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

I am shattered! I’d been doing this blog on and off (a busy day) for about eight hours. And, considering all the nurse’s visits and telephone calls with disturbing and good news, I was pleased with how much I’d got done come 19:00hrs.
I LOST THE WHOLE LOT!
I’VE NOT THE FOGGIEST IDEA WHAT I DID TO LOSE IT!
So here I am starting again after saving later photos as older ones to save memory. I’m in the shit! I even lost the 32 lines of my Ode! I am pissed off with myself and not exactly full of interest in trying again. The Carer who read it thought it was great… which makes me feel worse! I am not in a good place. Damned seizures must be to blame, or instead, whatever I did that cost me a day’s work! There just isn’t enough time to do it all as well again as I did.

Fed up! HEARTBROKEN!
My eyesight is bad. I’m so tired and weary of having two sleepless nights. The right hearing aid has broken down.
No way! I have not had time to reproduce what I thought was a fantastic Ode. So, after a day of struggling with other things, this happens! So, after all my work, getting this blog fully detailed with plenty of whitty bits scattered in it will have to be a rush job. Sorry! I’ll do my best. Even if it means a third sleepless night!
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I went to see Doctor Downing,
Who said I was rough-looking,
Have you done nowt about yer coffin?
I said Well, no! (between my coughing),
She said, “Well, put yer hearing aids in!”
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I must have tried to sleep for nine hours last night. How can someone be so tired and worn out and ‘not’ sleep? I can; that was the second sleepless night. I tried on the hospital bed, then moved into the second-hand, c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, Catheter-tube-trapping recliner. But with and Anne Gyna, there was no chance. I gave up hope and emptied the nocturnal catheter pouch, then went to make a brew of 99 tea. And I enjoyed it, despite nearly dropping it when I took to the computer. The need for the Porcelain Throne arose.

I went back to the kitchen and took snaps of the morning view. It was raining still. I first took a poor-quality shot of what I mistakenly called Venus yesterday. Tim Price informed me it was Jupiter. Then a straight-ahead view of the lights from the streets of Sherwood.
Another poor effort.
I started the 32 lines of the Ode. (That I lost along with the rest of the blog eight hours later). Cragknangles, Thunderisations! Criggleblogsworthisms! Grobognangles! Frangleklops! Oy-yoy-yoy! Crigglebogsnot! Grobbleknangles! Grufflemoan! Skullgranglebonks! Granglespithowlations! & Grobbledamitt!

Carer Richard arrived. I’m sure I had many mini-bouts while Richard was here.
Fifteen minutes of hazyness. 

I struggled to return and find where and what I was doing on the blog. I took a breather and tried to add to and remove some items on my Asda order for Wednesday. No, it’s Tuesday or tomorrow! That means I have to be up early, it’s coming at 0600 to 0700hrs. And here I am, two sleepless nights, and it is already gone, 2200hrs. I’m doing the blog I lost again. I am so frustrated! Anyway, I couldn’t sign in on the Asda site. I spent a fair time trying to get in without any luck. So, I changed the password for the third time. Care Chloe arrived with more distractions. She helped me write the new complicated password clearly, but it would not let me in. I decided to try again later. Same thing, no-go. So, I tried using Firefox and got in. By then, I’d forgotten what I wanted to add and remove the order. Is it worth me trying to carry one?

Eventually, despite reinvigorated attacks from Ann Gyna and Shocking Sherida, I got back into a system of sorts and was doing well on the blog. (The first one, of course)

Matron Jackie arrived, and we spoke about the medications and prescription getting difficulties. She told me the Doctor had just sent the prescription today to the chemist. So it should be ready for collection on Wednesday; I explained the procedure to Carer Richard, who is in control.

Then a lovely nurse turned up; Matron Jackie had asked her to visit me so she could… Ahem!
Check  on my arms, man breasts and chest. Which was fine by me.
Also, the catheter strap scars, ,  , My mandarin-sized testicle,  condition, and the welts and pressure spots on my flabby stomach. I think I masked my true feelings, okay. The nurse told me I was wearing the day pouch too low.
We spoke of the creams that I think are at the Chemist and are now awaiting collection from Carrington. I pointed out that the Caregiver (Richard) calls each Monday, sorts out which medications are needed, and lets the Doctor know. He called this morning, and there were no prescriptions for me there.
She thought the Carers applied the creams on me and helped me bathe. I said they do not, and I’ve never asked them to. The nice nurse will let Matron Jackie know about the ailments and medications when she gets back to base.

I got back to blogging. With all the breaks, it was enough to concentrate on the work (without losing it all!   Cribblebogangonies! Glunglegnatsworth! Skullgranglebonks! Cracklepackers!

I was just about to investigate what I would have for my meal (This was 7 hours ago now, and I’ve still not got it, having to do the blog twice). Dungunblast! And the landline chirruped.
It was Matron Jackie ♥. She’s been busy helping me out. She confirmed that the cream and lotions will be ready for collection from the Carrington Pharmacy on Wednesday.
She had arranged for future prescriptions to be sent to a different chemist, Jaypoen, in Daybrook. She confirmed they would take me on their list. The best part is that they will deliver the prescriptions to the flats! I looked on Google Maps and got this picture of the shop. Obviously, I misheard Matron; it was Jayplex Chemist, not Jaypoen. It is much nearer than the Carrington shop on Mansfield Road in Woodthorpe.
But if I do have to go there, there is a darned steep hill to use to get me there. Hey-Ho! I don’t think I would manage it in my condition. Well, I know, I tried a few months ago.

THE CALAMITY OCCURED!
So, I started this second blog.
I am just too tired and will try to finish it in the morning.
I did take two snaps, though, when I was making the stew in the crock pot. The rain has stopped now, and it is getting dark so early. A little later, I spotted what I thought was Venus in the dark sky. I now know that it is Jupiter. Tim Price pointed out my . I’m very good at them, you know. Hang on, with the cock-up, I think I took the Jupiter shot in the morning. Yes, I must have cause this is the other snap I took tonight. I’ve got in such a mess; I already put the Venus Jupiter one on! Humph!
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,
My primary reaction to today
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TTFN.