Inchcock Today: Ode & Diary – Saturday 15 May 2022

Approached creating this ode quite guiltily…
My ideas for it were whimsical, bonkers, delusionary…
I pressed on all the same, but involuntarily…
For Alto-Inchy was taking the piss at me,
If it comes out passable, I’ll have to be lucky…
So, I hope to avoid getting any vilipendency!
Will it get boos? Or be received gladly?
Here I go… I’ll have to wait and see…

Last night’s Porcelain Throne visit showed sanguinolency,
I had to clean things quickly, with no time to dilly-dally.
Cleaned, medicated the fungal lesion, piles, cuts, that’s three…
Pain, medicating the lesion send me cranky,
And Harold’s Haemorrhoids too, it took me a while,
Good job that I’ve got many a mans-nappie!

It’s Alto Inchie writing this verse; Inchcock did insist!
But, things got nasty for Inchy, the lyricist…
Stubbed his toe and started to update his word list…
He spent many hours on it, needed a wee, but had to desist…
Went to hit the save icon, and I missed…
Lost the file, and he sank to his saddest…
He almost cried; it must have been hard to resist…
Then he sank further and got depressed!

I lost six hours trying to get back my lost writing…
Couldn’t find it; I was confused, lost and dithering,
My previous determination started withering…
Duodenal Donald kicked off; it was appalling,
The whole incident was depressing and galling!
I believe that I was so low, beyond consoling…
I wondered, what’s the next thing that’ll need bungling?

Alto Again: It was sad to see Inchy being nigglier,
His computer works are getting much messier…
He didn’t look well. He seemed to me pastier…
The outlook for him to finish this ode is murkier,
And even he’s not usually a shirker, but a worker…
I can see in his eyes that he’s getting lower…
No point in talking to him until he feels betterer,
Hello, his door chimes rang out, in came a Carer…
He turned sourly around to see who it was, looking peakier,
His face lit up, his smile radiated, for it was Carer Sarah!
I could tell that he’d immediately got feeling friskier!

It was Carer Sarah who came to do me today,
This cheered me up, I have to say…
I lost all signs of acting acidulously…
Lovely gal, pretty and chatty,
I began to feel once again, altruistically,
I hope she comes again on Sunday!

Alto: Inchie knackered his computer and got in a shaking panic,
The idiot’s actions and bungled repairs were catastrophic,
He had trouble concentrating and was mnemic…
His moods all day were somewhat chameleonic.
Inchcock’s plans and thoughts were all semantic…
Yet he seemed to be taking it all phlegmatic…
In fact, he ended up feeling somewhat apathetic?
Then he found his legs had gone all phlebitic!
This is why some folks, quite rightly, consider him pilgarlic!.

Diary Saturday 14th May 2022

05:00hrs: I woke up with my bum half off of the £300, second-hand bought, c1968, nauseously beige-coloured, not-working, rusty, rickety, difficile, crumb-covered tatty recliner. The right leg on the floor, the left one on the arm of the recliner? A position that I could not physically get into on my own, even if someone offered me a million pounds to do it? Painfully I got my bum back up on the cushion, then tackled the left leg retrieval task! Have you seen that programme on the telly Truck Hell, where they have to retrieve HGVs after a crash? That’s like the task I had on.

I got it freed and the foot down on terra firma. Hehehe! It took me half an hour to achieve it.

Then, I noticed the right leg only had suffered a vein explosion. The first photo is of the front of the leg. I had a good look at it. There were no pains from the veins. Then I wondered about the back of the right leg. Got the Canon camera again and took a blind picture.

Aha, more veins showing through? On a closer look at the photograph, later on, it looked to me that last time, the surgeon who did them had left his name tattooed on the leg? Hehe! I’ll put this one on more prominent than usual to see what you think. It’s on the top right of the picture. Wonder what it is?

Ah, well, better get up; the Carer may be calling soon… and…

As I stood up to catch my balance, I knocked the camera off of the ottoman. I went into the bathroom to ready things for the ablutioning later on, and took this snap of the new marks on the face, this time! Then tried to take another snapshot of the morning view, but the camera didn’t have it. Sob!

It seemed to take the photo, but nothing was getting put on the SD card to view, other than this one and the legs? Miffed off, now! Another blog without many pictures, Humph!

I made up some waste bags, mashed a brew and got on the computer. And the morning carer appeared without ringing the buzzer and made me jump. Haha! Carer Sara was a pretty young thing, and she was sociable. ♥

On with the blog. I finished the update two hours later and posted it on Facebook. Went on Facebooking. Then the WP Reader, and comment reading and replying to.

The usual for the weekend. An increase in Herbert’s noise level. On and off all day, at times, I thought he must have hurt himself with the clanging and banging. At times, I could hurt him myself!

Got on with the Ode template for Saturday’s blog. But a disaster befell me…

I used two pages of saved words on Notepad and got on with selected suitable or better options. And the Peripheral Pete’s Neurotransmitters failed, as Shuddering Shoulder Shirley kicked in simultaneously. There was controlling my movements at all.

The arm shot across the keyboard with the left clicker pressed firmly down, hitting various keys as it went to my left, knocked the SD reader flying as the connector broke off, and it was all over in seconds, but it did a lot of damage, and worst of all, I lost all my words in the two files!

I then spent the following hours of the day trying to understand what the warning messages that came up meant and trying everything within my limited knowledge to find the missing files. No such luck! Photos not going on again.

Made a large meal and ate it all. Wee-wee. Carer Valerie called. Head down, but foolishly tried to watch a Dirty Harry film on the box… I did, in a way, but in about 25 episodes, I watched one each time I woke up and nodded off again!

Cheers!

Inchcock Diary: Yesterday & Today

Inchcock Yesterday & Today Diary

Due to Doreen’s Dementia, my excellent ability to forget things and get more confused daily, my ailments, the computer card reader, and CorelDraw difficulties, I’m mentally in a state.

Not to mention Liberty-Global Virgin Media Internet persistent going down. (Oh, I did say it!)

So this will not be as visually appealing as usual. And most likely, with happenings out of sync with each other and scarcity of photographs on offer. Also, my terrible memory-aid scribblings/writings on the notepad are somewhat unreadable. Messy, rushed… Tsk! Here I go…

MONDAY

Up at 04:00hrs: First sentence on pad undecipherable with these cataract eyes. Tried to upload photos, but no go. Wee-wee, a mug of tea… (Another unreadable few lines). Blogging, terrible internet connection again as Sunday was. Four hours to update the first part of the blog for Saturday & Sunday. Wee-wee.

Then Carer Richard arrived. Lifeline check. (Illegible) Wash and medicationalisationing. Stubbed toe.

Tea, another wee-wee. Got the ode finished at last. WP comments. WP Reader, Emailed blog link and Picts, then did Facebooking.

Tried to get photos on but failed again. But not surprising as Liberty-Global Virgin Media kept dying on and off!

Made a start on the News snippets blog. (Notes were as clear as mud)

Herbert started tapping and knocking with the odd crashing noises thrown in with all the problems.

I phoned Deana about the TV licence text. (Unfathomable writing for two paragraphs, Huh!) I hope she will call tomorrow to pick up the money.

CorelDraw problems. Josie returned the tray from Sunday, she did say she enjoyed the meal but did not mention the Woo-Woo, so it’s back to G&T for her next week. Hehe!

The Idaho pot potatoes were delivered. Late now. What to have for nosh later… couldn’t decide but I fancy trying one of the potatoes? Stored them with the others and noodles.

Back on the blogging, and…

(More indistinct squawl on the notepad). Net came back on, and I tried blogging again… so slow, I gave up.

Carer Valerie arrived. We got the medications taken and had a minute or so natter.

I made this odd-looking meal. A pot of noodles, a pot of potatoes and a cake. First time I’ve tried these pot spuds. They claim to have vegetarian sausage and gravy in them. Gravy? I could see nor taste any… not that I was bothered, cause they still tasted great to me! Flavour Rating: 6.8/10.

Head down, and was soon off in the arms of Sweet Morpheus, a nice change!

TUESDAY

A better night this time. Only woke up about five times and felt better than usual when I did!

I stirred back into ersatz life around bout 06:15hrs. Not feeling as bad as I usually do. Of course, I’d have at least six hours kip, which was why I felt perkier, I imagine? As I rose, I took this snap through the balcony window of the bottom field on Woodthorpe Grange Park.

Had a wee-wee. Maybe a cystitis infection, mayhaps. Regrettably, it was still reluctant and just a smidge painful, needing an effort on my behalf to force things along. But no problem with how I felt, which was livelier than for a while.

I checked the taps and heating as I went to get the kettle on. Made up a waste bag, and I was off to the wet room.

Got the Blood Pressure machine, the sphygmomanometer as its clever name is. Hehe!

SYS was a little high, 157, and DIA at 67. But the pulse seemed okay.

The NHS graph said it was only in the High zone, so it’s nowt new there. My Chinese (Hong Kong) by Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd™, a contactless thermometer, gave a satisfactory result at 34.8°c.

What a great session that was! Did the nasals and eye drops. Some of the drops actually got into the eyes! Hehe! Cleaned the teggies. Then got in the shower… a potential high-risk area for me. But, no bother this morning! No dizzies, no banging into anything! No toe stubbing! No bleeding from shaving either!!! 

This may be hard for anyone to believe… but I assure you it is true.

I got the socks on via the deadly, injury-causing Sock-Glide-Glenda – only one tiny knick on the thumb… no bleeding, no bruising either!

So, no cuts, shaving, no falls, toe-stubbing… I felt that good; I could have crushed a grape!

I got fully dressed (Including trousers!) I’d just started on the computer, and Richard arrived very late. The lad looked done in, but he didn’t complain, nor did I. He sorted out the tablets first. Had a mini-natter, took his freebies on my insistence and shot off with my best wishes and thanks for being given him. Oh, and instructions to get himself to bed ASAP!

I made a brew of JS Extra Strong Tea and sorted the laundry out for when Esther comes. Back on the computer. But stopped when it went down yet again.

I took a snap of the end of Chestnut Way car park. Red Van Man is his usual, technically, illegal parking space on the chevrons; Little Red Car driver nearly got it right, as did Light-Blue Car Driver. I think Grey Car Driver got fed up with trying?

Then, the Iceland man cometh – with the order I was convinced was due on Thursday, but it wasn’t. This goes to show how convincing and positive Doreen’s Dementia can be! Tsk!

Iceland had sent the wrong potatoes, but that is nothing not done many times before. The brown rolls were squashed flat. The Guatemalan sugar snap peas had a few mouldy ones in the packet, but were two days in date? The box of lemon treats was also crushed. So, all normal, then!

The strawberries were okay. I got the things put away, bread in the freezer, cobs and other bits in the cupboards so I can forget where I put them into the fridge for most things this afternoon. Then I set about sorting the freebie nibbles. I got a good few cans of various plonks in, the special price ones, mostly. Laid them out on the top of the bookcase so they can help themselves to which they may fancy.

Then, the potatoes were ready to be morphed into cheesy baked potatoes. (This did not happen due to my being so worn out when it came to noshing time).

Esther arrived to do the washing. Had a chat of sorts as she got the stuff ready to go. The gal tends to talk when looking and walking away from me, and I miss a lot of what she says. Bless her.

I rang Deana to ask if she was coming to collect the money for the TV licence and mentioned the non-arrival of the door key replacement. She hopes to collect the money with ‘The Lady’? On Wednesday, she’ll check on the critical door key supply situation.

The Herbert symphony of tapping, clanging and buzzing kicked off. Only got a couple of hours. After that, it mainly was thudding as if something was being dropped on the floor.

Wash and medicating certain areas next. Little Inchies fungal lesion was the most painful, but it usually is. Argh!

Food! Tomatoes and two veg burgers in wholemeal cobs. I baked some of the small potatoes and halved them. I put some Ben’s Hickory Smoked Barbecue sauce in a small pot for dunking. A honey yoghourt followed. Taste: 7.6/10!

Put the wholly emptied food tray to one side and drifted off into a deep sleep. I’m sure I dreamed of something, but I can only remember it being enjoyable; I think Jillie was in there. And  ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ chimed from the doorbell. It was Carer Valerie. Nice to see her, but disappointed in losing whatever I was up to in my dream. Hahaha!

After giving me the tablets, Valerie offered to wash the pots for me. I thanked her but declined the offer. Insisting, she took some nibbles, which she did, and she lifted the waste bag to the chute on her way, for me.

As I was washing the pots, the sky caught my little attention, and I took a picture with the canon on auto mode. I couldn’t load it; the SD card reader wasn’t working, but I tried again in the morning. I’ll put this photo on tomorrow’s blog cause when it did load, I thought it was amazing that I saw a fox’s face in the clouds.

Another decent, relatively pain-free session! Despite the torpedo’s mammoth dimensions and firm nature, no pain and no bleeding. I even got it out within a couple of minutes. Which was a rarity for me, most copacetic!

Got changed and settled down in the £300, second-hand bought, c1968, nauseously beige-coloured, not-working, rusty, rickety, difficile, often crumb-covered tatty recliner. I pondered over should I try to watch some TV to help me drift off, and I turned on the telly. I was in the grasp of Sweet Morpheus within a minute! Insufflation!

The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe Series

Inchcock Today: Diary with Odes

I’d like to start with my family, friends and flatmates here at Woodthorpe Court, in Sherwood, Nottingham

Roger Rabbit, waving to Lisa & Bill ♥

Their Mother & Father are my cyber-buddies, HRH Lisa, Billum and Alan, of Fort Thomas in the US of A. Lovely Gift; A smashing clan who sent them to me out of the blue, and I have a natter with them every morning! I made a family portrait this morning…


Inchcock Today

Whoops I woke up with a whopping great jump and jerk. It was of such magnitude it moved my body mass a few inches towards the edge of the second-hand, £300, c1968, overwhelmingly-sickeningly beige coloured, tatty, uncomfortable, wobbly-recliner. A few more inches would have had me on the carpet, cursing and nursing Harold’s Haemorrhoids! Hehehe!

Of course, that was the end of any sleeping, so I lay a few seconds to work out what day and time it was and any actions or activities required… But here was the watch? No longer on my wrist?

I soon found out what I’d done with it – fourteen hours later, I found it on the floor, behind the £300, second-hand bought, c1968, nauseously beige-coloured, not-working, rusty, rickety, difficile, crumb-covered tatty recliner.

During the ablutionalisationing, I realised I had not got my watch on. “Ah, well,” I thought, “It’ll be on the ottoman!” Finished off and made a brew of Glengettie. But…

Refilling the kettle, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley kicked off. Talk about bad timing! Harrumph! The water went all over the previously washed and dried cutlery and crockery, down the front cabinet of the sink and down my trousers, socks and slippers, and onto the kitchen floor…

It took me ages to get it sorted and dressed again. I seem to be doing this a lot more often lately. Dementia Doreen? SSS? Peripheral Pete? Cataract Kathleen? Haha! Who knows which will get the blame.

Made a fresh mug of tea and got on the computer, rather pleased to be making an early start on the blog. Ha!

I had to do other jobs and kept nipping back to see if Liberty-Global, the company with a Revenue of: 12.98 billion USD (2021), who bought out Virgin Media Internet, are even worse than the scumball BT internet was… Not that Herr Fries is bothered. Don’t I pick them!

Did the health checks, and the internet was back on. But to for long, ten minutes maybe…

Pee’d off with this already! The Iceland delivery arrived. They had substitutes plain sausages again for the unavailable microwave ones! That’s the fourth time this year, I’ve sent them back each time, but they keep subbing them.

The strawberries and tomatoes were from Morocco. The strawberries had some slime on a few, which I threw away. The mini-cherry tomatoes were substituted for vine ones and tested for taste… Bloody Hell! I’ve tasted a tomato so foul and bitter in my life! Eurgh! They hadn’t any brown cobs in stock either! All in all, a bad do! I put the crap away.

Tried the computer again. It had come back on at last. For around a half-hour, then…

Well, obviously not that much… Git!

My morning Carer called and sorted me out. It was her first call. She came in without ringing the door chime and gave me a nervous tick! Even if she shouts out when she walks in, I can’t hear her with my hearing. Still, I wasn’t using the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) when she came in. Hehehe!

Aha! The internet came back on… Thank you, Mr Fries. Got the post finished and sent off. Facebooking, and it happened again:

Liberty-Global has disassociated itself with Virgin Media; they do not mention that they own and fail to run it, hoping that Richard Branson will get the blame, I think?

One more effort once it came back on. Most anger-making and revenge prompting! But this time, I had to close everything down and off and reboot the box and computer.

I’ll have to give up on this; Liberty-Global Virgin Media Internet has gone off again! My language is crude at the moment. I am willing and wishing that Fries drops dead immediately. It won’t matter to me cause he can’t run the service anyway. He’s a number-cruncher, accountant, actuary, bean-counter, bookkeeper, calculator, con-man. His use of smoke and mirrors, off-shore account movements etc., are his strengths. A wanker of a banker! Indeed, he has no people-care or customer sensitivity.

I’ve lost all my heart in blogging now. I’ll get something to eat, give up until morning, and then try again to use LIBERTY-GLOBAL Virgin Media Internet. But I’m not confident… well, I am in a way – I feel sure that Fries will let things get worse… there’ll be a financial fiddle of some sort involved in the situation, I’m sure. But he is obviously trying to destroy a company, his company, that paid around $2.4 billion to buy out… why? Back-handers? Mafia? Money Shuffling & Juggling? Banking fiddle? You scratch mine – I’ll scratch yours?

Bribery and manipulation? Or just money-making savviness via greedy, devious, underhand means? Just a thought! Why is he shoving all the much-travelled money of Liberty-Global into telecom and internet companies the world over? When he obviously is incapable of providing a reliable service? A money-predatory and manipulative Con-Man supreme!

Today’s end car park inspection photograph.

Carer Valerie arrived. Just after I’d realised that I had no hot water from the taps (faucets). She was kind enough to find and write ht telephone number of the Nottingham City Homes Repairs in large letters so I could read it. I was a little nervous to ring yet if I had made a cock-up leaving a tap running or something. (The hot water was back on in the morning, Phew!) Off went Valerie taking the bags o the waste for me on her way. Thank you!

Herbert was giving it some hammer tonight; I wonder what he’s making this time. I found a picture that I’d taken last week, possibly from Thursday when I visited the foot lady at the hair salon appointment farce.

Washed and changed into the night attire, and I made up a bottle of spring water and lime juice. I did a couple for Carer Richard, who may come on Monday, and stored them in the fridge, so they will be nice and cold for him.

Hot much of a sunset again tonight, but still beautiful to me, even with the muted hue and colours.

I used the Canon camera. As for some reason, the Fuji developed a thick white line down the centre of the screen, and I could not remove it? Turned it off and then back on, but no luck; still there?

As I got down on the recliner to watch some TV, I took this snap of my legs. Not a pretty sight!

The fattiness in both legs was returning, or it might be water-retention, but I think not. I wish I knew why I felt that, but I cannot remember why now, Tsk! (Sunday morning)

Cartilage Cathy on the right and Arthur Itis on the left knee, can you see? The veins are shallower tonight, and the hairs have suddenly turned grey? The funny side of this shot was the feet not showing. Hahaha!

An Ode to an ‘Orrible Day

My signing with Virgin Media was happenstantial,
The computer… to be precise, Liberty-Global,
Ran by Mike Fries, money-mad and ignoble!
Who bought out Virgin Media, most controversial,
Liberty-Global is crap; blame is cunningly deflectable…
They keep shtum about owning Virgin Media – detestable!
So Richard Branson gets the blame, a sort of Guilt-Burial!
My hatred for Mike Fries is substantial…
Well, his hatred of customers is evidential…
His lousy internet seems to him inconsequential,
He still gets paid a fortune, and management are reverential?
The sickening signs of fiddling figures are torrential!
Although my evidence is only circumstantial…
And comes from a customer who is uninfluential,
Liberty-Global’s ever failing service makes me demential!

Morning all!

Inchcock Today: Friday & Saturday

Frustrating Friday & Super Saturday

Ode wot I wrote on Saturday

What bits I can remember,
Are we still in December?
I’m feeling slow and dumber…
Indeed, the body is getting plumper…

I’m out of my comfort zone…
Yet, to joyfulness, I’m prone?
Nowt’s changed, still home alone?
Gone deaf, can’t hear the phone!
Eyesight bad, moan, moan, moan!
Can it be due to my testosterone?
The computer is like a battle zone!
And I can’t find my mobile phone!

I still feel unbothered, most macabre?
Constantly talking to myself, jibber-jabber!
Had no drink, I should be sober!
Memory Maureen failing… whencever,
Is it the Hemp, Simvastatin, whatever?

I spent 8+ hours on the snippet blog new,
Endless mistakes, all needing a review…
The night Carer arrived, she had the blues…
I’d not planned food… sausage or a stew?
Still upbeat… I asked her for a pas de deux!
She replied: ‘You know what you can do!”

I finished the new blog; it was mostly crime…
Then again, Nottingham’s news is all the time!
Got a meal late, morning time, but that’s fine!
Got around to doing this blog’s design…
The notepad… I just couldn’t find!

Saturday
I can only blame Dementia Doreen…
Cocking things up, behind the scene…
The computers got a wobbly screen!
Cartilage Cathies pain… I want to scream…
Yet things are going like a dream?
Well, no! So many cock-ups, unforeseen,
Dropped and broke, my little green tureen!
New pains arrive around the spleen…
Laundry returned, more creased than it’s ever been!
Yet I’m singing to myself? It’s almost obscene!
Cataracts! I can hardly see the flatscreen!
I’m losing it… is life just a smokescreen?
I was unbothered, almost contented, serene?
I’m as lackadaisical as a circumforanean…
I’m clinging onto semi-sanity, it would seem?
I blame Dementia Doreen, I deem!

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Friday

What Bits I Can Recall

Well, I’ve found page one of the reminder notes. I’m so unbothered at the moment, still don’t know why I feel this way or how long it will be before the Dracula Depression returns. What’s going on here? Have I been given a ‘Happy Pill’ or something? It seems yesterdays ‘Couldn’t-care-less’ scenario is still with me?

The ghosts, wraiths, spectres, apparitions, and other grotesqueries haunt the hallways and lobbies. Worry and confuse me! Searching for Inchcock, to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare… No, it’ll be down to Doreen’s Dementia! I can only put it down to the mysteries of Winwood Heights.

Luckily, I’d been taking many photographs, and even luckier, I managed after a frustrating battle with the computer’s SD card reader and got them loaded to use here. Although some of them I can’t remember taking.

That’s another thing, why am I not bothered about this! Surely I should be?

This is not, or is it, from Friday cause I seem to recall that the red van-man was parked back in his favourite illegal position on the chevrons? A good start, that is! Hey-Ho! I vaguely remember going onto the balcony to take this photograph, obviously using the Fuji camera, because of its shape, of the end car park… but no, on second thoughts, another cock-up I’ve made.

Not sure as to why I took this shot of the computer desk in the dark. I know I was having troubles uploading the photos, and the icons had all changed size of their own accord? Harrumphs!

Annoyingly and frustratingly, I’d mentioned much in the notes I found to trigger any memories. Tsk! Total blank, but I’m sure it was Helen! I think it was Carer Helen who called in the morning.

I think I got the icons back up, but not to what size they were; they are mentioned in the notes. As if the farce with trying to get the photos loaded from the card, and my giving up on the job. (I tried again in the morning and got the on! Yee-Haa! There was a lot of scribble concerning me making tea and dropping the mug, but catching it before it hit the floor and getting my fingers scolded a little. Hehe! I wondered why they hurt a smidgeon this morning; now I know.

I took a shot of the morning skyline, and, according to the notes, I thought it was beautiful despite the gag colouring?

The more exciting thing was as I was closing the window’s door, I inadvertently caught the button on the Fuji camera and took a shot through the bottom glass. Hahaha! It came out better than any photo taken.

A mention of kicking off early with the clattering and tap-tapping was read. How I could have heard it with the state of my era-holes is surprising. It must have been loud?

SYS 158, DIA 69, Pulse 95 and the body temperature was 34.5°c.

Made an order for J Sainsbury’s for next weekend. And ordered some t-shirts and something else… I’ll have a look to see what it was… Ah, pyjama bottoms.

Out of memory notes now. Good job too. I took some photos. I definitely can remember making up the Local News Snippets block; a scribble on the bottom of the one-sheet left indicated 8 hours, but carried onto the missing sheets; I think that is how long I was doing them!

I found another mystery photo I cannot recall taking, let alone why? However, the computer is not on. (See that? How quick I was to notice that? Hahaha!) It looks like it’s teatime ish, cause the lights going. It might have been when I gave up on blogging. Or not, maybe, perhaps, possibly…

I can recall a little later taking some pictures of the early sunsetting. Boy, did these take some sorting in the morning to get on here. However, just about worth the effort, although not brilliant at all. I think I took them over ten minutes while cooking the belated nosh.

Then eventually, I got the meal served up. It doesn’t look much appearance-wise, but I did enjoy this vegetarian effort for a change. Baked potatoes with butter, a leek onion and something else, I forget what it was now… ah, potato pie. Tomatoes and fresh garden peas. I can remember them cause I left them in the pan when I was about to start eating the meal. So went back and salvaged them. Put them on the plate and took this snap. Flavour Rating: 7.2/10, methinks.

As I went into the kitchenette to wash up, I was greeted by the now really beautiful sunsetting!

I hastened to get the Canon camera, and I returned to take these pictures of it.

Glad I caught this.

I washed the pots and stove and settled into the £300, second-hand, c1968, second-hand, c1968, Charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, haemorrhoid-testing, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner.

The Thought-Storm thundered into action as soon as I got my feet up. Yet whatever it was that was making so content and unannoyable today were still at it. And I just put the TV on to watch a murder documentary, and at first, no, the second set of averts… Zzz!

Saturday

Ode To The Saturday Blues

Enough of this mad scriptitation…
Nobody reads it much in the entire nation…
It’s turning me to zombification…
Though, I feel it is my vocation…
My mind’s losing its location…
Sometimes, it’s a mental violation,
Turning my brains into vegetation!
I’m going bonkers… I need no verification…
My sanity needs another health evaluation,
Mayhaps, a cannabis vaccination?
Or, a trip to the seaside, on vacation?
I really need a cataracts diagnostician…
Psychiatrist, urologist and an acoustician,
I’m in desperate need of a mortician,
Or someone to explain; mankind’s declension?
Oh! I need the Porcelain Thrones’ attention…

I woke with a double whammy of ailments; I think that’s what woke me up. Still, it made a nice change from being woken up by Arthur Itis, Cathy Cartilage, Anne Gyna or Duodenal Donald. And plus as well, they both claimed down within a few minutes! Oh, I forgot to tell what they were, Tsk!

I’d got the camera nearby, so I took a one-handed snap of it – Clever stuff! Well, alright, it wasn’t clever then! Hehehe! I’d got Colin Cramps distorting my right-hand something wicked.

Oh, Dearie me! The Blood Pressure was well up this morning. The body temperature was still low. SYS 169, Dia 73 and Pulse at 90. But was I bovvered? Nope! This feeling that lingering… it must be what it feels like when on dope? Har-Har!

I had three goes at stringing the ear-holes again today. But still used the olive oil in between. I fear it’s not helped an iota with the hearing, Tsk! Still, in the odd uncaring mood I’ve been in lately, it didn’t get to me?

He was on form today. Considering that there will have been many noises I didn’t hear, there were dozens of times I did hear him due to my wax build-up. He’s consistent; I’ll give him that. He’s also an

Carer Helen Did the morning call. Ah! I remember she’d brought the washed laundry back for me. I found it all screwed up again, crammed into the bag! I think I might as well ask cleaner Esther to do the washing; she folds the clothes for me, saves ironing, and uses the freshener and softener supplied. I’m not blaming Helen at all, whoever it was that took the washing out of the dryer, should be spoken to nicely, and asked if she could fold the clothes for me, in future, please. This still irritated me even in the odd uncaring mood I’ve been in lately.

I worked on this blog between wee-wees (Hahaha!)  I checked on the Amazon tracker to see if the hats and jammie-bottoms would be coming tomorrow, as it said on the site when I ordered them.

Bobble hats coming tomorrow, T-Shirts on the 9th or 20th, and the much-needed jammie-bottoms on Monday (the 7th, I think). Still, in the odd uncaring mood I’ve been in lately, it didn’t irk me?

Got some photos to upload, but many of them were not recognised by the card reader? Still, in the odd uncaring mood I’ve been in lately, it didn’t irk me?

Off to the Porcelain Throne. The past three days of rock-hard torpedoes have changed overnight to rock-hard peanuts in a melange of running liquid and mucus based discharge. Unbelievable! And it still hurt to pass that? Still, in the odd uncaring mood I’ve been in lately, it didn’t bother me.

My tea-belly had returned! Got the ‘Snippets’ blog finished off and posted it. Then worked on this double-diary blog for many hours; I just pressed on with it, continuing to make errors, mistakes and forever making a brew of Glengettie, Thompsons Punjana and Sainsbury’s Extra-Strong tea in that order throughout the rest of the day.

As it got nearer to 18:00hrs, I kept the curtains open so that in case the sunset was pretty again, I would get some photographs of it, again. Which I did! Hehe! And boy, was it gorgeous tonight!

Sunset

I took these pictures over about 15 minutes from the kitchenette window. Gorgeous!

I nipped into the wet room to get some more bleach for when I’d made a mess cooking the meal later…

Boy, did I clout Cathy Cartilages’ knee on the doorframe, coming out… Yes, I did! It hurt! A suitable synonym would be ‘ARGH! I thought I’d seek some sympathy from the ladies out there, so I took a photo of the offending knee cap, intending to inspire compassion from the ladies, but it came out wrong. I expected the picture to show how painful, swollen and bruised the knee looked… But, No! Despite the agony, I can’t see any damage to it at all? Another plan foiled… Haha! Still, in the odd uncaring mood I’ve been in lately, it didn’t agitate me?

I’d forgotten about the evening Carers’ visit. Whatta-plonka! Time to get the fodder sorted, I thought.

♫ The Oh, Susan ♫ tune chimed out, and in walked my evening Carer. It was Chloe. I knew what her name was, the very moment she answered me when I asked her what it was. Ahem! I meant to ask her if I could take her picture to use on the blog, but puddle-brain here forgot to! She was a pleasant gal, not pushy, and after sorting the medications out, she gave me a minute or two natterings. Treats were chosen, and off Chloe went, taking the waste bag with her to the chute; I thank you! A Sociable Carer like Chloe is always welcomed. Bless her.

Worked on the blog, then got the nosh sorted out. Cut up a selection of orange, yellow and black Natoora tomatoes and got some of the Squid (anchovy) vinegar on them; I wasn’t sparing!

End up with this meal served up. Potato cakes (Seasoned), fresh garden peas, tomatoes and a beef pastie. I got tucked into it but did not enjoy it as I should have. I may have been a little too tired?

Gone midnight again before I got my head down, and the jumping awakes were back with me. Grumph!

Good Evening!

Inchcock

Inchcock Today: Thursday 24th February 2022

Thursday 24th February 2022

Why is Liberty-Global Virgin Internet Media such utter, Crap?

How, when a man can earn figures like these below for Mike Fries, boss of Liberty-Global, who owns Virgin Media along with tons of other acquisitions,  and he still can’t manage to get a Virgin Media Internet connection to Sherwood, Nottingham, without it going down every single day, several times?

Just asking, like… Not that it bothers me!

I got my head down late, and I fought to nod off until gone midnight. At least I only shot awake twice, well, three times, but I decided to get up then, at 4:30hrs. I was persuaded by Little Inchie, who required a wee-wee. Hehe!

The significant bit about this is how refreshed I felt! Less than four hours sleep, but it felt like I’d had ten or more? Grrreat! I think the Hemp capsules are helping me sleep a bit better now?

Shuddering Shoulder Shirley was getting a little rough at times; these episodes continued all day, though never for any lasting time, a minute to perhaps five.

Off to the Porcelain Throne and do a stand-up early-morning shave and wash, etc. The Throne session went so nearly perfectly! There was no need to rush or push; the evacuation eased out of its own accord, painlessly! A few spots of blood, nowt to fret over.

Ah, things did get a bit fraught in the teggie-cleaning and shaving departments! I caught the broken tooth, and a bit more came off, and I vampires some of the blood. Hehe! Then, I managed to nick my right ear lobe with a razor, and boy did that bleed too! The tiniest cut imaginable too? I had to use a lot of kitchen towels to soak it up with. And a lot of the Brute aftershave.

But there were no toe-stubbings, walking or knocking into anything, colly-wobbles, Dizzy Dennis’, or tumbles. I even coped with getting the long diabetic bamboo socks on without putting myself in danger by using Sock-Glide-Glenda! Smug-Mode-Applied!

MedPhorpain Again, things went well. The only correctly painful treating was rubbing the Phorpain Gel into Arthur Itis’ left knee, and as I did the right one, Cartilage Cathy was giving me what for. Codeine when I’ve finished I thought (But I forgot!).

I did struggle a bit getting the trousers on cause Arthur and Cathy were making things challenging this morning. Overall, I was well pleased with the sessioning. I moved down to Defcon-Three in the Smug-Mode. Again surprising myself at how well things were going, considering the lack of sleep.

My new Chinese (Hong Kong) was made by Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd™, contactless thermometer came up with a body temperature of 33.7°c, which is really low. Tried again with the ear-thermometer. That was better, 34.3°c. The Blood Pressure had gone down nicely to 147/68. The Pulse was 86bpm. Perfick!

Oh, back to the Porcelain Throne!

Yet another good evacuation! Smug-Mode Grade Three Adopted!

A skunk and a clatter from aloof, sniffy attituded Herbert’s apartment above.

🏴‍☠️ Virgin went down. Hard to believe, I know…

Carer Richard rang the ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ chime and came in. I was in the kitchen, suffering from a longish and violent attack from Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley. I was struggling to stir the tea safely. Good old Richard did it for me. He’s never been here when I was having an SSS session; it fritted him a little at first. He’s a caring Carer. Got the prescriptions taken, had a little natter, and even raised a laugh. Off he trotted after selecting some treats.

I went to make another brew, Thompsons Punjana, this time. By, gum, the sky looked like it was getting darker again? I took a snap from the kitchenette window of the front car park, Chestnut Walk.

I waited a while, hoping some birds might fly by, but they didn’t.

Even the cloudy skies looked attractive to me; they seemed to have varying highlights?

Had a wee-wee, washed, made a mug of Thompsons Punjana, and made my way out into the balcony. To take a photograph of the end car park.

Red van man was back blocking the ingress and exit route, fully parked on the yellow chevrons, yet again. Naughty boy! I’m just jealous now that they have taken my driving licence off me after the stroke. Hehehe!

Sister Jane

Sister Jane rang me on the landline. But the signal was terrible… it always is actually from West Bridgford. We had an excellent chinning session. Despite Jane’s croaky voice, my blocked ears, and the appalling connection, I got most of what we were reminiscing about and laughing.

Back to the blogging. I lot of interruptions, Dementia Doreen, cataracts making viewing/typing slow going, and Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley. Peripheral Neuropathy Pete was amazingly calm, so I tried to make the best of this… but I was only causing more errors by trying to rush. Then: Another interruption, window cleaner Joe arrived. But he is always welcome and a good chinwagger, too! We, well, I spoke and moaned a fair bit. Eventually, the subject matter got lighter, and laughter ensued! Selected a drinkie and nibble in thanks, and on he went to another flatlet or apartment, no doubt that will cheer them up!

I came across the picture I thought I’d lost, of last nights’ nosh. Some idiot put it in the wrong folder, TSk! I ate most of it. Gorgeous fresh garden peas, red, yellow and black tomatoes Very nice! Cornish pasty M&S, the best! And BBQ potatoes! Flavour rating: 8⅛/10.

Ye gods, what was that? Kerumph, from the flat above. Well… drilling now! I hope Herbert has not fell-over and broken his neck. I think.

Checked the beef chunks in the crock-pot. These are Icelands “Extra Lean” beef chunks, by the way. Just look at the fat floating freeing around! Eurgh! I sieved some off of the mixture, and I added some gravy browning and black bean sauce… fingers-crossed for tonights’ nosh! Looks horrible?

Going to have to rest a bit now. An unfortunate visit from Dizzy Dennis forces this. Made a mug of Glengettie and ate a rather delightful mini-marshmallow, which tasted so good! I sat down to recuperate from the scary bashing from Dennis at one of his more vicious attacks.

I nodded off, quickly, and a few minutes later, shot-awake, clambered free of the £300 recond-hand recliner, and off for Porcelain Throne visit number three of the day! Giving myself en route, the first good hefty toe-stubbing of the day! Argh! Ahem! I never flinched… or swore at all.

♬ Oh, Susana ♬ chimed out again. It was Phlebotomy nurse Hristina! I immediately cheered up. And girded parts of my loins that had not been fortified since the last time she came! Hahaha! I know; I remember needing the tablets.

Hristina got the blood taken in her usual kind. patient, heart-rate increasing way. ♥ She had time for a minute worth of nattering today, which I appreciated. Had to force the gal to take a treat in thanks. She departed; I was downhearted; I belched, farted, and went for a wee-wee.

Carer ElenaMinutes later, ♬ Oh, Susana ♬ chimed out again. Once more, my heart rate increased… for it was desirable Carer Elena, come to do the medications. We had another natter and laughed. thanked her, offering her choice of nibbles and drinkies, she is always reluctant to take any, but I forced her I thin in the end. ♥ She departed, taking the waste bags with her for me to the chute. 🧡

By gum, I’ve done well with getting all this pulchritude visiting me today!

Got the nosh sorted and served up. A bit better this time. The beef chunks that had been heating in the slow-cooker for seven hours or so tasted better cause of the BBQ and chilli seasonings. The black, yellow and red tomatoes were tasty. The fresh garden peas were terrific! The cheese and bean pastie went down well. Rating: 8.2/10.

Now, I should be getting to sleep… but no! So many visitors, the computer playing up all day, Cataract Kathleen, and Cartilage Cathy joined forces to hamper my progress with the blog. Now it’s going to be (estimated) midnight before I can get it finished. Still, the beautiful ladies of the day perked me up.

Summary of the (better) Day Ode

Beautiful ladies arrived today, but no pas de deux!
Ailments generally were pretty good; no, it’s true!
But Cartilage Kathy chose to turn the pain-screw!
The dying computer’s terrible; I think its death is due…
Fair enough, you’d be right, saying this of me too!

Noisy Herbert above gave me less of a hullabaloo…
Consistently demanding were summons to the loo!
Four visits to the Porcelain Throne was an issue…
Great natters today, more than a few…
They help keep me from feeling too blue!

Caring Carers, cheerful window man Jo, who…
Along with nurse Hristina, they gave good social value!
Without them, I don’t know what I’d do…
Each one leaving left me sadder on their Depardieu…
A betterer day like today has been long overdue!

Evening all!

Inchcock Today: Diary with Odes

General Ode To The Day

Today, when good luck and success ran away,
Making me want to cry, die, and even pray!
It’s this horrendously-heinous Wednesday!
Very little humour, fun or flimflammery!

Problems of intense magnitude and stupidity…
Errors, Whoopsiedangleplops, and I got all forgettery…
Accifauxpas, mind-blanks, bonkerness and pettifoggery,
So much so my mind requires mental surgery!

I ended up nervous yet showing frustrated badassery!
The brain crumbled, the body tumbled…
Nothing this day was of the slightest bit ordinary,
Then the innards painfully rumbled…
My last bit of willpower crumbled!

Self-hatred, for myself, and a vile loathing…
So many failures, one in my underclothing!
But that, I’m too ashamed to be describing,
It had some occasions that were nice, touching…
But they were scarce, and so many were scathing!

Computers I should know would mock and beat me…
I thought I’d get the problem sorted, very foolishly!
I’d never have mended it if I tried until next January…
As I should have known, I just made things worse,
I sobbed, got depressed, and voiced many a curse…

I thought at one time, I was growing insanity…
Why am plagued by this unknown, unlucky entity?
It started at birth… and has grown nasty, by plenty!
In my previous life, was I a murderer, a scoundrel? Maybe…

When I’m burnt to ashes by the Brothers Baguley…
I want my mourners to know, there’s no need for sorrow,
At the moment, I’d be content, no, glad to go…
Life’s always been a battle against the flow…
I may miss cheesy potatoes, and bread, buttered sourdough,
Carers like Julia and Jilly both leave me with an afterglow. ♥

Not enough to make me stay here, though!
Life to me has been like at the Alamo…
Surrounded, outnumbered and nowhere to go,
Failings, errors, fretting, my life’s been so!
I’d hoped things would improve, but no, oh, no!

Reincarnation? That would be hard to swallow,
I might return as a soaring eagle or a brave buffalo?
Or most likely a stickleback, mousse or minnow!
See, that’s depression; I’m feeling so low…

And what’s to come later… death, maybe, yes or no,
I’ll continue as a failed saddo and fatso…
I’ll snuff-it, not bothered how maybe tomorrow?
I’ll die never having had a cup of cappuccino!
It’s been forty-odd years since I’ve been on a beano!
My friends and family will gather to say cheerio…
But there’s only three of them, so I don’t know…

They’ll search for my money, and they’ll be very thorough,
Cupboards, drawers, clothes and behind the big photo…
I don’t blame ’em; that’s how it will go…
I can’t take it with me… I don’t mean to crow…

That’s summat else, why did I live life in a constant imbroglio?
Calling things electrical, mechanical, complicated, a gizmo?
Cause the Vascular Dementia Doreen said so?
I had problems; I became an alcoholic, not wino…
Which at the time for me, was no problemo!

I danced like a three-legged drunken rhino…
The gal who said that was named Clio,
Ailments, being shot, being made redundant did follow…
Didn’t matter too much; life was already shallow…
But I’ve always been that way, uneducated and callow…

With quips and replies, I’ve been sharp, never slow,
I once nearly bought a second-hand Volvo…
What that’s got to go with this Ode, I don’t know?
I’m trying to live an inoffensive life, but whereunto?
I’ve lost the plot now. Shall I make a cuppa? Righteo!

It took me that long to formulate this Ode, so many errors, mistakes, and Mind-Blanks! The time is running out for me to get the Diary bit done. So, it will be in condensed form, sorry!

———————————————————————-

WEDNESDAY 23rd FEBRUARY 2022

A great sleep once I managed to get off. Which was at about 02:00hrs. But, I was well pleased with only jump-waking up three times. On the third, it was already 06:10hrs! So, over four hours, not bad, that. I think the Hemp seems to be working.

As I fought my way out of the £300, second-hand bought, c1968, nauseously beige-coloured, not-working, rusty, rickety, difficile, crumb-covered tatty recliner, two things dawned on me. This morning is the Ocado food delivery twixt 6-7:00hrs, and Cartilage Cathy was still as bad as yesterday. So, I took a Codeine and checked that I had not missed any calls on the intercom – I feared I would not have heard it if he had come early while I was sleeping. No missed calls on the list, so that cheered me a little.

I got the medical checks sorted straight away. The body temperature was still too low. But what should I do? It might be the machine? They tell me to ring 999 if it is below 45°c? But it’s not far off this time.

There was no hassle about the Blood Pressure, though, all looking pretty good, with SIA 152. DIA 74. and Pulse at 80. This seemed fair to me. Glad the BP machine was working after my dropping it yesterday.

Into the kitchenette to put the kettle on, and I trod on something small and challenging – I guessed right, it was an escaped garden pea gone rock hard. Hehe! Made me jump a bit! I also found a tablet?

The intercom rang at 06:30hrs, and the Ocado driver brought the bags up to the flat. Nice chap.

Got the bags into the kitchen; there seemed a lot of them today?

Sorted out what’s what and where they are to go. The frozen Heinz Beanz Burgers went in the freezer, along with the battered cod bites and fishcakes with mushy peas in them. Natoora black tomatoes, yellow tomatoes, steak pie into the fridge, with some difficulty… Cartilage Cathy was in a right rotten mood with me when I bent to get the bottom tray filled. Cor, blimey, was she! But the bending to pick up the peas and pill might have contributed to Cartilage Cathy’s annoyance. Hehe!

Then I moved on to the third or fourth bag. The black box held 12 mini-pots of M&S fruit and jelly. Which I read when ordering to be strawberry flavoured. They had actual fruit in the jelly, but one of them was the forbidden for me pineapples. On a closer look, they also had seeds in them, which will most likely cause me a toothache. They’ll have to go! I know how to live! I made a bottle of spring water up with some of the lemon and lime cordial for later.

I got some fresh garden peas and lemon and lime yoghourts too. Two favourites there!

Just after getting them stored away and returning to the computer, Everything went wrong computer-wise. The icons had shrunk, the screen had gone darker, and Norton came up[ with things that needed attention. Crapwranglers! It was all too much for me, and I ended up changing things, uncertain if I was doing right or wrong. After changing things, it was far worse. I could have cried!

I stopped making changes too late and could not work out how to correct things. I went for a break and made a brew of Glengettie, taking this photograph of the morning view, in which I caught some crows on their way to a tree-top murder in the park. Then around 08:15hrs, the landline rang out. It was the gorgeous Nurse Hristina to tell me she was coming in the morning to do a Warfarin blood test, and I’ll be back on the Enoxaparin injections.

Then it rang again, it was Nicola from Meridian, Carer Richard who was sue to do me and stay with a poorly patient. They have arranged for Carer Julie to come and do me, she’ll be here as soon as possible. Bless her! Thanked her for letting me know.

Doing the updating of the blog for yesterday and got deeper into a mess of confusion with the computer for an hour or so, and the ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ tune rang out.

Julie got the medications sorted; she had been called in to cover. She was as sweet as ever and helped me with the computer. ♥

After Carer Julie had left, Norton flashed up again. I’d no idea what was what. Humph! Now I cannot access my dropbox or save anything to it!!! The pointer keeps changing size? Oh dearie me! I may have changed something when I had a Norton defrag? I just can’t remember what I changed…

MedPhorpainI carried on with this blog. The top Ode taking me yonks to get done. I gave Cartilage Cathy another good rubbing with the Phorpain again. This is the second day of Cathy’s hassle. Never had two days’ worth before.

I stopped computing on the blog to take a look at the food situation and catch up on what, if anything else, is due. I think I’ve ordered a Sainsbury’s order for next Sunday, but Dementia Doreen is determined; I’ll not remember. I’ll check the calendar first. I must get the ablutions done soon.

Yes, JS on Sunday. I’ll do an Iceland one for midweek. All done!

Now back on with this blog.

17:15hrs Ode

The day stopped, as frustration grew, abysmally,
But memories remained of this morning’s jollity.
Although it was just for microscopical scintillae…
I felt my depression wanting to go away…
But would it? Well, maybe one day it may…

Yet I no longer felt the self-hatred, not acidulously,
The evening Carer should soon be coming to see me…
Will they be contented, happy? Or rather grumpy?
Or a chinwagger? Who entertains me wryly?
I hope no one considers a natter avoidably!

Hopefully, one that looks after me, assiduously,
Who doesn’t mind a laugh and is not over assertively…
Carers who really care, I greet applaudingly…
And consider them to be admiringly adorably,
Like Jillie and Julie, compassionate, addictively!

I’ve got the oven on to heat up, to do the chips later, fresh garden peas and a pastie methinks tonight. But I must try not to make too much this time. Ah, it’s 18:00 now; the approx. ETA is twixt 18:00>19:00hrs for the evening carers.

I made a brew and took some photographs of the evening sun setting. Computed a little, took the mug to be washed, and took three more pictures. The ones on the left earlier ones, the right the later ones, but only by about 15 minutes. Mother Nature – absolutely Bootiful!

1848hrs: Carer Kiya came into the room. Having failed again to use the door chime… three times now. I had to ask her again, explaining that I could have been using the grey bucket… It made little difference. But she’s a confident little thing and witty with it. She let us chat for a couple of minutes, chose her nibbles and drink, took the waste bags with her without me asking, of off she went, happily.

I managed to encourage the picture ap to recognise the photo of the end car park at last. I took it this morning around 08:00hrs or thereabouts. Only just got it on the computer. I’m having all sorts of problems with it now –  a case of last legs, methinks? (Me too, Haha!)

No red van, man. Well, he might be in court; you never know. Har-har! Plenty of vehicles compared to normal in there this morning.

Got the chips in the oven, then changed my mind and pulled them straight out again. (I know, I know!) I realised just how late it was now, and I still had to finish this blog. Otherwise, they’d have been cooked to a frazzled by the time I got the blog completed, posted, the Facebooking catch-up done, and photo albums updated. Then I’ve the WordPress Reader reading and commentating to do. The read and answer to the blog comments… Good heavens, I’d better get on with it!…

TTFN.

Inchcock Today: Monday 21st February 2020

Inchcock Today: Monday 21st February 2020

I’m fighting depression; not so much about the cataracts worries, deafness, Peripheral Neuropathy, or Dizzy Dennis visits this time. Can’t load photos, Liberty-Global Virgin Media, and it’s so slow! Mainly due to computer problems.

02:30hrs: I woke and rose this morning, with a terrible foreboding of what is to follow today. Nothing specific, but my EQ warned me that things would not go well. That was all I needed as if I wasn’t low enough to start with!

In between a few wee-wees, I made up some bottles of spring water with lime & lemon cordial. No interest in making a brew? What? And got on to the computer, with an unconfident hope that the photos would load this time…

No-go! I’ve got the meal from last night and some photos I took of the BBC Midland News on the card to use on a snippets blog. I didn’t take any other pictures in anticipation of my luck remaining at the usual level of atrocious.

I finished last nights blog and posted it off. Then went on the WP Reader, comments, and started doing a graphic.

04:10hrs, I heard some clattering from the flat above, not a lot, and not too bad. 

Made a start on this blog, and the blustering winds got up so bad. Also, some noises sound like humming machinery, so loud, from above. What’s going on?

I decided to get the ablutionisationing done, stand-up, no showering cause the noise might disturb anyone sleeping. Put the computer into sleep mode. Back in a while… I hope!

Upon my way to the wet room with the day clothes, I discovered the reason behind one of the many noises this Monday morning. As I passed by the airing cupboard and tank room, without my hearing aids in, I heard a noise of water running into the tank occasionally; this is accompanied by a comical gurgling sound? I took the camera in with me out of habit, so I took some photos after the session. Hope they can be uploaded with time… He says without much confidence…

I started with nose and teeth cleaning. Then a need for the Porcelain Throne arose (it does that often, I’ve noticed that).

What a  near-perfect evacuation that ever was! A smooth flow that needed little effort from me. Not phooey! Not runny, not messy. There was a tiny few bits of blood, but the dark red indicated they were from Harold’s Haemorrhoids, so nowt to worry about there! I moved on to readying the shaving tackle things.

I made a tiny cut trying to shave the neck-hole. (“Why when all my hair went years ago; does hair still grow around the neck, and behind the ear-holes? Just a thought”). No Accifauxpas, toe-stubbings, or walking into anything!!! Fair enough, three or four razor drops, but they all fell in the sink, so even that was lucky!

All went well. No need for any attention to Little Inchies fungal lesion – Hurray! Then got dressed… The PP’s first, then the dangerous job… Arthur Itis and Cartilage Kathy, both being very stiff this morning, I ended up having to use Sock-Glide-Glenda! The blister-making and blood-lusting Green Goddess! And she kept up her record of injuring me but not so bad as usual. She’s getting older now? Hahaha!

Just had to take a photo, not being sure if I’d get it on but did later, of the masterstroke of using the precocious Sock-Glide-Glenda. During this procedure, I needed three wee-wees! Sod-it, off again! I hope things calm down soon!

I then took a photograph of the car park at the dead-end of Chestnut Way.

The red-van-man was back in his usual line and chevrons ignoring parking spot. The rain and wind were still so heavy I took this picture through the balcony’s glass.

 

♫ Oh, Suzana ♫ chimed out – Carer Richard arrived, in a rush, no time for a chinwag. He soon got the medications and alarm battery check done for me. I think Rich was having problems. Richard was not his usual self at all this morning. Hope he’ll be alright. He asked for a bottle of water, I got him one from the stockpile in the kitchen, but he didn’t like the M&S brand, said it was ‘crap’, I’ll have a Highland one, so I gave him a Highland one. Ha! Said he might be coming on Tuesday, I think, he said. He kindly took the little blue waste bag with him, to the chute, for me.

Sphygmomanometerisationing, at last, showed a lower SIA reading on the Blood pressure. Nice! As was the DIA and Pulse results. Then I got the body temperature taken. That was a smidge higher for once, close to the red-line minimum of 35°c. But not quite there yet, but it’s good to have near enough not to ring anyone as I have been instructed to.

An hour or so struggling with the slow computer, in getting some photos on at last to use. The intercom lit up and buzzed; it was the Iceland delivery arriving. The chap looked soaking-sodden wet, poor thing when he got to the door. He put the bags through to the doorway into the hall for me, only four today, missing items, I bet. Or, mayhaps I curtailed the demands this time? (Only 1 item had to be substituted, and two not available) I did well in the fridge department. I got the diced beef chunks. BBQ Rustlers, BBQ flavoured chips, and frozen beefburgers. I thank you!

A nice filled-fridge again, that’ll do me nicely until the following Monday, methinks. So glad you get the Wall’s microwaveable sausages too!

I’d ordered the wrong potatoes, I noticed. All those cakes, I honestly can’t remember ordering… no, honestly! Ahem! I wanted the Baking ones to try some cheesy potato-making again… Tsk!

I got a packet of the beef chunks in the slow-cooker. They should be ready for tonight’s nosh. I added some BBQ beef gravy seasoning to the slow-cooker pan and a drop of the liquid smoke – a spur of the moment decision… Mmm…

I dropped a packet of beef chunks off for Jenny and Frank; they can do what they like with it. Eat it or give it to a worthy cause. Bless them. Back up to the twelfth floor, and as I was entering the outer flat lobby…

Hehehe! I didn’t half-clout my shoulder on the door frame! I felt such a fool! But there was nobody around to hear the slightly unavuncular language that I muttered. I’d done an excellent job on the shoulder; I got inside and took an extra Codeine and back on the computer blogging.

While I’d been out, the photo thingy had opened on its own, and I got the photo of last nights meal before the program all froze up again. Humph!.

Garden peas, a whole packet, cause they were short-dated from Sainsbury’s. Fish sticks, tomatoes (Lovely they were), buttered sourdough sliced bread (Gorgeous!), a mini lemon cheesecake, and a cheesy twist. I recall eating this with relish. Flavour Rating from memory; 8/10

Then I started prepping the Local News Snipping blog.

Dizzy Dennis cometh on an unwanted visit. I gave up on the computer, with Cataracts Katie and Dennis it was impossible.

Made some nosh. A decent effort methought, but the flavour did not match the viewing. Taste rating: 7/10. The late dated J Sainsbury’s podded peas let it all down, and I do love them usually, but not these out of date ones.

Cheeky Charlie Carer came. Told me off, gave me the medications. She chose a Gin mix and Easter egg for treats, and left without taking the waste bags… but I noticed, and shot out of the door to catch her, asking her to take them…

Serves me right. I clouted my shoulder on the door frame getting back inside. Tsk!

Sleep was hard to get into, and it took me a few hours for some reason. However, once off into the land of nod, I only shot-awake three times overnight. I wonder if the Hemp is working?

Inchcock Today: Liberty-Global Owned Virgin Media, only went down eight times today… Humph!

Ode To The Meal

Not a lot plated, but no danger of maceration,
Preparing this, I got myself another contusion,
Dropped the tray on my foot in confusion…
Fretting over the upcoming phacoemulsification?

A bean-‘n’-cheese and beef pastie, very nice!
Chestnuts to, time for me to gluttonise…
Orange jelly, cream spray… was that wise?
I enjoyed this snack of chestnuts and pies…
Then took my Hemp sleep pill, Gawd, it’s a big size!
Oh, did I just narcotise?

Saturday 19th February 2022

02:40hrs: I woke for only the fifth time of the sleep, but this time not with any jumping or jerking. The brain was more responsive than yesterday’s Whoopsiedangleplop of an awakening. I pondered on the chances of getting back to sleep, but the Thought Storms started… so I rose from the depths of welts and bruises-giving £300, a second-hand recliner, caught my balance easy enough, and limped into the kitchenette to get the kettle on for a brew.

A sudden need to photograph, at that moment, so I went hobblingly back to collect the Canon camera: I tried to get a photo or two,

I tried to get a photo or two,
Of the twinkling morning view,
Opened the window, carefully too,
The sky is now a lovely dark blue…
The results are still under review…
Here on the left for you…
To see and even phoo-phoo,
Sorry, this is the best I could do!

Taking the last one…
I got a wobble on…
It’ll be alright, I reckon…
Another cock-up; not uncommon!

Off to the Porcelain Throne. Yet another change in evacuation style, from messy, runny Trotsky Terence mode yesterday, back to the solid Constipation Konrad style. Ah-well! It came out well. Hahaha!

Made a brew of Thompsons Punjana. Then made a start on updating and finishing off the Friday blog. Hello…

Cor blimey, Herbert’s started banging and clanging away early again. It’s only 0435hrs? Still, I don’t mind, and I am the most vulnerable to his tap-tapping, drilling and clattering of falling metal objects, with living below the ignorant, antisocial, unapproachable, haughty, superior-acting haughty, Snotbag, with my dwelling directly below him. I’m amazed he doesn’t wake others up – not that he woke me, anyway. I assume he’ll be sniggering to himself, thinking that he has disturbed my sleep. Animal!

Doing blogging again, getting the Friday post finished and posted off. Herbert’s quietened down, bless him. I sent the link emails off. Went on the WP comments sections then Opened Facebook…

Would you believe it... again! It’s every single day and several times… Grrr!

And this number-crunching boss of Liberty-Global, who bought to Virgin Media, is deemed to be earning a rare salary of $23M a year! He must really hate his customers! And can’t run his Virgin without failing and annoying his poor sodding customers. But, still, advertises super-speed service? He’ll think, “The limey slobs shouldn’t have signed up with Virgin then… Haha!” And he’d be right!

Fries LIBERTY-GLOBAL STRIKE AGAIN!

The slow Virgin internet returned, and I got on with Facebooking. TFZers, then tried to go on the Winwood Heights Facebook page. Virgin down yet again… Annoyed? Frustrated? Me? YES!

Care Taina arrived. I mentioned the poor state of the laundry, keeping things as light-hearted as I could; the nice gal didn’t want her to think I was blaming her for the crumpled unfolded clothes.

I tempted my Carer, her to her choice of nibbles and drink in thanks. She took the waste bag with her on the way out.

Bless her cotton socks.

During Taina’s visitation, I spotted that suddenly the late moon was in view again in the sky. I hastily grabbed the Canon camera and went to the kitchenette to take some photographicalisations of the planet. Pet from the oddly different blues of the sky, which is likely caused by my dropping the camera the other day, they didn’t come out too bad?

Did some graphic creating for a while on CorelDraw and tried Facebooking again. Hard work concentrating with the contemptuous, hoity-toity, holier-than-thou, antisocial Herbert bashing away. Phew! Hello, he’s stopped…

Blimey, the days going so quickly again. Boot’s Sphygmomanometer, manufactured by ZDEAC (Zhongshan Daguan Electrical Appliance Company Ltd) in Guangdong, China, showed a slight increase in the SYS, the DIA, also the PULSE was fine.

The Chinese (Hong Kong) made by Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd™, the contactless thermometer was alarming at first glance? Well into the Hypothermia range level! I wasn’t sure if this reading was correct, so I tried talking about the temperature on the ear thermometer. But, as usual, technology got the better of me; all I could get was a ‘Lo’, without an actual temperature. Humph! There is a way to get the reading, but the writing is too small for me to see it.

UNBELIEVABLE!

.

I’m giving up, fed-up, tired, mildly depressed and frustrated!

Oh great! Herbert’s off again, a bit of drilling if I’m not mistaken… mind you, it might be music; listen? If that’s music, it had undertones of Horst-Wed del-Lied, to me.

Going to get summat to eat now. Hopefully, there will be something on the goggle-box to watch that should guarantee me getting some sleep.

Breakneck dash to the Porcelain Throne! Just in time, too. Despite the solid content, things came out at breakneck speed. Oooh!

Got then nosh made, took a snap of it, and now the computer import is not recognising the feeder drive or photo input again.

This could mean the end of any new photos getting on the blog… or anywhere. Humph!

Sat down and nodded off. Carer Chloe arrived and did the medicationalisationings, tablet and medicine-wise. I almost asked her to give me Anoxaparin injections in my stomach, but she didn’t; that would have been horrendous for her, having to bury her arms into the folds of my stomach mass to get a grip of the clump of wobbly-flesh to inject into on both sides… No, too scary for her. Hehehe!

She selected a can of orange and an Easter egg for her treats. Took the waste bags out with her for me to the chute. Bless her!

I hope I can get photos onto the computer in the morning, but EQ tells me I won’t be able to.

Ode To The Day

Deferably I’ve had many a better day…
Whoopsiedangleplops were on display,
Accifauxpas, havocking, as bad as they may…
Computer on its last legs, I must say…
Cataracts made seeing, even harder today,
The photo-reader, not working, Oh, dismay!
The laundry returned to me, in disarray
Noisy Herbert morning, before and after midday,
My strength to cope, usually in a fairish way,
Has collapsed, this mentally-challenging Saturday!
No bath to soak in, in hope problems will soakaway,
Little going right, will things get better? Nay!
Getting my head down, brought mental affray…
Depression creeping in, like maggots or larvae…
Thought-Storms torment, ballistically!
In a  dream… things went apocalyptically…
Sour dysthymias, will not go away…
I want them too… I can only pray!

A Slightly Depressing Day, for which I am Sorry

Inchies Sunday… Not a pretty sight!

Inchies Sunday… Not a pretty sight!

Endamagements, Endangerments & Endurethments
Few Endearments or Enduring qualities
Not to mention the mixed-up Mental-Mind-Menagerie

The day started with my waking up in a panic…

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Ode To The Dream

The Good old days, some would say,
I’d say, somewhat bleak and acidulously,
Not so, cause, losing my hair, then-fiancee,
Getting shot and doing a drunken bungee…
I even got stung on Little Inchie by a bumblebee!
All the nurse said, taking out the sting? Was, Hehehe!

A lousy sleep again, and to a degree…
Woke up already depressed, did me!
In my protection pants, I found the pen & notepad,
With tons writing about a dream, I’d had…
I added it at the end of Saturday’s blog, begad!
————————————————————–

I kept waking up again all night. Stirred at 04:00hrs, in need of the porcelain Throne… which I visited and utilised for traditional reasons.

It tooCW01bk me an hour! This was due to faecal impaction, the likes of which put last week’s problems in the shade! I even got a few answers in the crossword book done! (Had to cheat on three, though, to get me going. Tsk!)

Made up the ode to the dream and put it at the end of yesterdays Inchcock Today posting. Took a snap of the dark, dank rainy morning and made a brew. It took a while, but I was happy-ish with it.

I decided today for a change. Made a start on Josie’s Sunday lunch treat. I’ll not put the potatoes in the chillies, and cut some spuds up into small chunks, so I can make them crispy in the oven. Then I can lay them atop her chilli-beef (canned), fresh mushrooms, tomatoes, water chestnuts and five different types of beans, with Worcester sauce, beef and BBQ seasoning.

No expense is spared when I treat someone; they get treated! Mind you, if she doesn’t like it, I’ll get a mouthful. Hahaha! If so, I’ll try to show you the scars.

As I checked on Josie’s cooking, it dawned on me that the so-called Meridian Health & Social Care Carer had not been… Again! For the seventh time! Grunglebogcraps!. So, it is a Saturday, there will… No! I’ll try that again… It being a Sunday, there is no one on-site at the flats, and I have to ring their number and get a Control Room, Birmingham, I think last time. And had to go through the rigmarole of explaining who and where I was, etc… Ah, well, here goes…

I found the Nottingham number required, and I gave them a ring. I got the being transferred message and waited for it to be answered; I made up an ode for later while I was waiting.

A lady answered, but only asked my name, no other details this time? Must they have put my number on the frequent caller list? Haha! The lady put on some music for me while she rang the Carer to see what was happening. She returned a few seconds later, telling me your Carer would be with me by 10:30hrs. I thanked her and got on with the blogging, wee-weeing and checking on Josie’s nosh.

I belatedly got the eye drops, ear drops and nasal spraying done and sorted. During which I got two calls from Meridian. The first at 10:40hrs told me the Carer would be there soon. Then at 10:50hrs, to say she was on her way.

I’d just put the chopped spuds in the oven after chopping them up. I wish now that I’d found some of the metal finger-end-chopping-up protections whatsits, whatever. Tsk!

Still, plenty of more finger plasters. And it didn’t bleed much.

Luckily, I was just returning from one of the umpteenth visits to the Porcelain Throne, and I was near enough to the intercom to hear it and see the light coming on. It was the Carer. A sweet-looking young person appeared worried and apologised straight away for being late (Elka, her name). The poor thing explained that no one at Meridian had told her I’d been put on her list! I believe her!

I made sure she didn’t fret and calmed her down by telling her that it was nothing new with Meridian. After she had done the medicationings, I offered her a choice of nibbles as she left, a lot less worried-looking and with a smile on her face! That made me feel good too!

I tackled Josie’s meal presentation on the tray. I was pleased with my effort for once. Of course, whether or not Josie likes the taste with the bit of curry I put in chilli will be found out tonight… no, tomorrow! But it certainly looked different with the roast potatoes cubed around the dish? I treated her to some mandarin sections in orange juice and some spray cream in a plastic pot if she fancied any with the fruit. A can of her favourite brand on G&T. I delivered it dead on time again, oh, I am good… Hehehe!

Josie opened the door, and immediately the roast potatoes seemed to confuse her. She wasn’t a fan, methinks. I thought they would tickle her pink… but no! My precious moments of satisfaction with my efforts crumbled. Ah, well, yer can’t win them all! At least the mandarins, G&T and Yorkie Bar got an ‘A’ from Josie. Hehe!

A smidge deflated; I said my farewells and returned to the apartment. Made the header for this edition of the blog, and for some unknown reason, the wee-weeing started back to its regular routine, which meant no time to get to the wet room, so the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) was utilised for the rest of the day and night. With a fair bit of PMAD (Post-Micturition-After Dribbling).

The sun nearly made it out during a nice break in the showers. Quite colourful… until the rain returned. And the darkness with it.

Only a short period (An hour or two) of Herbert suffered up until now. I think he may have gone out.

I tried to defrag the computer and set up a regular defragging every month. But it seems the defragging took only seconds? Is that right? I’m lost again?

Working on the blog, and the sun had a second bash at coming out. I took this shot from the comfort of the computer chair.

BBC1, I got my nosh sorted out straight away. Seeing that Nottingham Forest was live on the free telly. I had a sense that Forest was going to win. Earlier I believed a 1-1 score and penalties – then while I was struggling painfully on the Porcelain Throne, it all came to me. Nottingham Forest really was going to win comfortably.

And boy, did they do it in style!

Premiership league Leicester City were not in the game. It is like Brian Clough’s glory days!

I celebrated by having two pasties, BBQ flavoured chips and tomatoes for my meal. A Cornish pastie, and a beef pastie, too boot! Not a lot!

Flavour-Rating: 7/10.

When I went to wash up the pots etc., the view outside looked amazing. Unfortunately, I have no idea why… I just couldn’t capture the scene as it looked to the eye… then again, with Cataracts, Glaucoma and Saccades in my eyes, it may not be so surprising. Humph!

After cleaning up and getting the kettle on, I spotted to my left, to the South, a cloudless patch of sky with the moon in it. So, I got the Canon and tried again for a decent shot… Best I could manage! You should have seen the other failed attempts. But I’ll not show them, too embarrassing! Haha!

Got off to sleep quickly again. But kept waking up so often… Humph!

The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe

Inchcock Today: Diary, including the Evening Dream – In Ode

Saturumday 5th February 2022

INCHCOCK TODAY

Back to the horrible nocturnalisationings, like sleeping poorly, again! Oh boy, am I pissed off with this or what! I spent more time awake than asleep last night!

Endlessly waking up with a jump, then working out what time and day it was, and where I was! It was soul-destroying. I should think I must have woken at least two dozen times, more often than not needing a wee-wee! Cursing at my situation every time! Then just when I decided to get up, I fell asleep for the most extended period all night! It lasted for about an hour.

Amazingly, I rose from the uncomfortable depths of the £300, second-hand, decrepit, c1968, rickety recliner, with almost ease! There was a complete absence of any hassle from Reflux Roger, Anne Gyner, Toothache Thomas, Duodenal Donald, Shaking Shaun (although he had a few goes at me later in the morning).

Caught my balance and checked on the legs because Arthur Itis and CCP (Cartilage Cathy’s Patella) were both giving me pain the moment I got any weight (And I’ve plenty of that!) on the plates and pins. Vasculitis and venous thromboembolism, and veins were remarkable by their absence!

But it seemed that only CCP and Arthur were worth worrying about. Grrreat!

Indeed, both feet looked in such a fine state I had to take a photo of them. Were they really mine?

This doesn’t happen very often, so I was already preparing to go into Smug-Mode!), that the J Sainsbury order is due this morning, and I don’t have a lot of time to prepare for them, with my getting up so late. Partly dressed (that’s as far as I got all day, Tsk!), I wandered hobblingly into the kitchenette to make a brew of Glengettie. It came to mind…

While the kettle was boiling, I took this snap of the morning view, catching the edge of the window frame to give a perspective of the actual sizing. I’ve forgotten why I thought of doing this now.

As I turned to get the kettle, CCP gave way in the right knee; boy, did she pain me! The knee nearly gave way a few more times as well. I’m hoping nothing like last week with Cathy popping out of her patella socket happens again. The whole joint was aching for hours after this? Mmm?

I made a brew and had a mug of Thompsons Punjana. Took it with me to the computer and made a start on finalising yesterdays blog. And before I could get to drink it, “♫ Oh, Susana… ♫” music chimed up from the door buzzer. It was Carer Cassandra; she was in a much lighter mood this morning. (Meridian Health & Social Care do not have any bosses on duty at the weekend, and Nottingham City Homes have no ILCs (Independent Living Coordinators) working weekends either). I assume that this is why the Carers are a little more cheerful? Unless, of course, some Carer has not turned up or left the job (a lot of them do that!), and that they have been called in to cover, of course. Haha!

Cassie soon got the medications sorted, and we even ad a little natter… well, I did. Har-har! Cassie departed, taking my waste bag with her, and I went to make another mug of tea…

I knocked over the milk bottle, but it only fell on its side, which I appreciated muchly and took a photo of it to prove that I do sometimes have good luck… in a way.

The intercom flashed; I presume it sounded as well, but I couldn’t hear it. Pressed the release button, and within two minutes, the ♫Oh Susana♫ tune rang forth again”. Grand deliveryman took the boxes through to the kitchen for me. Only four items missing out of stock this week. Much better than last week’s 14! Got the fresh stuff sorted and stored away in the fridge. The fridge is now looking well-stocked again but not overloaded.

A few items of cleaning and bleaching were put in the cupboards in the wet room and kitchenette.

Putting the canned cupboard supplies away cost me a lot of time. Peripheral Neuropathy Pete’s nerve ends lost contact a few times while I reached up to put them on the shelves.

In fact, I ended up throwing a couple of items up to the top shelf, but I don’t think anything broke.

Having said that, I’m sure I have more than a few dented cans in there now. However, I’m well off for kinds of vinegar seasonings and have a few cans of various vegetables to fall back on… not literally mind. Although, if CCP (Cartilage Cathy’s Patella) has her way, shell have me over some time today. I can feel her efforts, little twinges, in readiness to floor me!

MedPhorpainGot the fodder away and applied some of the impotent, not fit for the job, but better than nothing, Phorpain gel rubbed well into the kneecap vicinity. I also took an extra Codeine 30g tablet. Because each time I put pressure in the joint, I can now feel a sort of grating from within the knee. Along with the seconds long periods of it feeling like it’s going to give, then it comes back? Ah well, fingers crossed!

I took a couple of pictures from inside the balcony. Of the end car park and Chestnut Walk below the front of the building. The red van man continues to park on the yellow hatched area and the White hatchback on the double yellow lines. And they say young men are bad drivers?

Whilst doing the blog, the lighting charged rather quickly outside.

Took a photograph of the changed sky colouring. I think this means rain on the way?

The weather made a liar of me within ten minutes, the sky turned blue, and a contrail showed up. Caught it with the Canon.

Back on the computer, I heard a clattering noise to accompany Herberts tap-tapping. I was sure it came from the kitchen, so I got up to investigate the clatterings source. But without any success, I’m afraid.

I had a go on Facebooking, Winwood Heights and the TFZer site. After about an hour or so, a loud (well, it would have to have been for me to hear it) similar metallic-sounding noise was heard again? I got a little confused as I could listen to Herbert above knocking away again. But, I felt the metallic sounds were coming from the kitchen. But, again, could find no cause of them?

All a part of the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghost, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morganas, and pretentious, uppity, snobby, pernickety, smug, stuck-up, neighbour above, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind? I really believe that it did not come from the sanctified, consecrated, uncommunicative, ascetic, eremitic, aloof, arrogant slimeballs apartment above. Mmm?