INCHIE TODAY: Monday 23rd January 2023

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Not A Good Day
In short (Especially the Hobble and the visit to the Doctor).

Photo inspired, memory not good.
Being so late in getting the blog done and all that, after having lost a version I’m sure I’d written, and I had to start again after somehow deleting everything?

Bit of blood in the overnight Catheter pouch.

Caught a seagull launching off of a lamplight.

Got the ablutions done. Messy and painfully.
Readied things needed into the walker-trolley.

Carer Richard Arrived. He was tired out and frustrated with
the being different each me they got a fresh supply. Got the meds sorted, and we had a little nattering session. Well, me mostly… Hehehe!

Set off to the bus stop…

Down in the elevator, along the link passage through.
Winwood, then Winchester Courts, and out to the
bus stop. Not so cold this morning, thankfully.
Had a chinwag with a lady from Winchester Court.
Got off at the bottom of the hill.

Started what turned out to be a bad idea.
Walking up the hill on Mansfield Road and down into Carrington and the Sherrington Park Medical Park surgery.

Every step was agony. Due to the darned
having dropped
down the leg, the inserted tube was pulling on poor.
 . I could feel it bleeding, and it
was so sore and stinging.

I eventually got over the crest of the hill. I had
to stop many times to give me a breather from the pain.

Within 10 seconds of my arrival at the surgery, Doctor Vindla came to fetch me into the consulting room. (Just got there in time, but it must have taken me a full hour or more to hobble to get there)
I could hardly get into the room. Then the farce began…
I thought she needed to see me urgently, as the receptionist told me, to give me some details from the Urology at the City Hospital; about the recent stay and check-up results I had with them.
But No! I think she reckons I’m about to croak out…
Cause all she wanted was for me to tick the two options on a letter she gave me, telling me to take it and read it, think about it, make my choices and return it to her. And what was it for? I’ll tell you the two options I had to choose from…


Would you like to go on the DO NOT RESUSCITATE list? I ticked it.
And the next one was different…
Where would you like to die; Hospital or At Home?
I ticked The Hospital. Well, that cheered me up!
I then told her of the .
She asked if I had had any falls or trips lately?
I smiled underneath my face mask and replied:
That’s one question that shouldn’t need answering – Yes!
“Ah, it’s probably from bruised ribs, then!”
This prompted me to ask why the Paracetamol were not delivered
with the last prescriptions. Cause I have none left now, just when I really need them. No reply!
Then I mentioned the having smaller and smaller bags attached each time they are replaced? And are causing
“See the District Nurse about that!” Thank you.
And the blood in the Urine?
“I’ll let the know that” Thank you.
May I use the toilet to empty my full ?
“Yes, see you later!” Cheerio, thank you!

I was a smidgeon nonplussed after this meeting.
did what I wrote about above really happen?
Or was interfering with my memory again?

Either way, I was forced to go down the road to the Lidl store to see if they sold Paracetamol or Ibuprofen.
The painful walking had not eased off. Then again, nothing’s was done about it – What I expected, I don’t know.

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After a hobble around inside the store, I came out with some bits and pieces but no Paracetamol. Milk, potatoes, a packet of biscuits, cashew nuts, and some Ibuprofen.
Caught a bus to Sherwood. Dropped off and hobbled over the road to the bus stop to catch the number 40 bus up to the flats… I was about 100 yards or so away, and it arrived – but I could not move fast enough to get there in time. Which proved very costly to me…
By having half an hour to kill until the next bus arrived, I went into the Wilko store. And for once, they had a decent choice of items on the shelves. So, naturally, for me, I bought a few of each item while they had them in stock. I came out of there £26 pound lighter in my pocket!

Lavender Dettol, and Neutrodol fresh air spray on offer, caught my eye. Along with Paracetomal, Ibuprofen Extra Strong, and cloth-wash freshener at three for whatever it was, on offer again! (To go in the wee-wee bucket when emptying the Pouches) Fool! Oh, and fresh air spray for fabrics, two for £3.99. Tsk!

Up to the bus stop. Caught the bus.
No one to gossip to.
At the flats…

Went into Winchester Court and through the link passage into Winwood Court. Not many folks around?

Through to Woodthorpe Court, where the recharging and storage for the disabled scooters are, and to the lifts. (In the distance)

Up to the flat…
Rang Meridian Care,
To let them know I was back in situ.
And soon found that the…
The tiny pouch really was at bursting point.
Emptied it, and I got the purchases put away. Took two tablets straight away, a Paracetamol and an Extra-Strong Ibuprofen.

I had a moment of revelation (is that the right word?) I had not long since walked right by the Carrington Pharmacy.
But forgot to go in to check if any painkillers may have been sent electronically from the Doctor to the chemist. But I expect it had not been sent, anyway. I wonder if the Doctors get a bonus for everyone they get to join the DO NOT RESUSCITATE brigade? Hehehe!

Mayhap if they can save on not resuscitating…
The NHS might be saved?
Yes, a Rishi Sunak scheme, maybe?

Getting dark already… and here comes the sunset

Very nice.

Super Nosh!
Ersatz bacon pieces, tomatoes with added basil, and three sourdough rolls. Followed by a pot of lemon cheesecake.
Flavour Rating 8.8/10!

Arrived. Sorry I just can’t remember who it was.
Had I not later destroyed the first blog I did for today, I’m sure I put the name on there. But, no… I somehow deleted the entire blog, and it’s not in the bin?


Washed the pots, and I took this second shot of the sky and sunset.

Why I took these is another unknown. It’s all a part of the mysteries of the Woodthorpe Court’s sinister Spirit’s master plan. To raise the devil, spread wonders, blunders, rodomontades, fears and descenders from the comfort of sanity into a gibbering wreck!..
Must have been a reason, I suppose?

After an hour or two, I realised I’d not checked bag for a while. So, I did. Oh, not much in there?

I’m getting more confused than ever here. It’s with me already having written this stuff and losing it, I think. Keep reckoning. I’ve done it twice on this blog… which is possible. How I feel at the moment, anything is!

Carer Richard , came and to the
for me. He tried to adjust the strapping to make it less painful for me, on the . I thanked him, and we had a little mutual moan and natter. I went with him to the door to lock it as he departed. Be lost without the lad.

Another excruciating, pain-wise day done!

INCHIE TODAY: Sunday 15th January 2023

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Not been too well today – just ran out of time to get the blogging done, I’m afraid. Catheter pouch troubles and a concentration destroying constant pains from the Mystery shooting rib-pains. But I have done my bestest. Which was not very good!

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05:00hrs: Woke to discover, as I got into position to disconnect the catheter night pouch, I spied that it was completely empty. This somewhat bamboozled me a smidge.
On further investigation, I found that the day bag pouch’s release valve had not been opened. When I went to roll up the jammie leg, the bag was so full that I had to drop them instead: which was a beginning of a farcicalness of great
magnitude.
acci-whoop I tore the PPs on the tube clip. Caught causing it to bleed, and losing time getting it to stop. And emptying the pouch, clouted my knee on the edge of the WC, and knocked stuff off of the floor cabinet… which stayed where they were; and are still there now.
Which combined, caused the terribly nasty mystery stabbing rib pains to kick off, which more or less put me out of action for hours.

It was gone midday before I could make a start on this, and Herbert above started his cacophony of bangs and tap-tapping.
I was still not right mentally or physically. The constant pains ensured that. I did take some photographs throughout the day, though, not as many as usual that helped trigger the memory.

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I must have taken this one after or during one of the many visits to  Porcelain Throne. All were messy affairs again!

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made the first three calls.
Not like him to miss taking the bin bags.
He took them, I think, on the last visit. A
nice lad, he’s slowly coming around to liking

and understanding my humour, I think.

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Early morning photo; I can’t recall taking it.

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Ah, I can remember this one. I was just beginning to get on
with the blog, stood up to go and make a brew…
I’d forgotten to check the catheter bag.

Evening shot?

Car Park. ‘Oh, a space?’

Going to get something to eat before the last Carer calls.
Hope it’s my mate, Richard.

Back in a bit… or in the morning.

THE MORNING CATCH-UP

A not-very-good-looking nosh was enjoyed, all the same.
This photo was taken part-way through eating it.
Which is better than taking a photo without

the SD card in the camera, I suppose.

TTFNski!

Inchie Today: Saturday 24th December 2022

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CW01b02:30hrs: Woke up for the umpteenth time, but not with , but the need for the And what a change in style this morning it was! I got seated on the throne and knew it would be advisable to get the crossword book out. Nothing was moving, yet the tummy told me there was a dollop needing to be evacuated.
was in command of things, and he was not going to be rushed. I actually got a few clues answered as I waited for the action to begin. I thought it was comical when it did burst out… all of it in seconds, a blessed relief from the travel pains, followed by multiple plop-plopping sounds. And it was all over. No bleeding, no mess! I am not sure if the released product reminded me of hazelnuts or chocolate peanuts, but fell for the nuts cause they were harder. The WC needed only one flush to clear the contents away, and I felt rather good; I expected things to be more painful, messier and take much longer. No help or urging from me was needed at all. However, having been fooled before, .

Tackled then. Toothache Tiffany followed my breaking off another bit of a tooth.
Not such a good shaving session; back to the old habits of multiple nicks and cuts. About six, I thi
nk. The main reason is my own stupidity. After my first two nicks, I got out two new razors and dished the old ones – But No, I found out later I hadn’t! What I did was throw the new razors into the waste bin and carry on shaving using the duff old ones!

More Followed in the medicalisationing activities.
Made a bigger mess of missing the eyes with the drops than ever before!
Had to conserve the Germoloid cream for. I forgot to get another tube when I went to the pharmacy on Tuesday. Yes, I swore at myself rancorously!
I was so close to taking a Galpharm capsule in mistake for a Senna to help free ‘s grip on the rear-end workings. Just imagine if I had taken one… That could have been a right pickle and mess I’d put myself into again! A genuine bit of good luck that I realised in time!

acci-whoop But, of course, my smugness was short-lived. Putting the olive oil in, I somehow squeezed the rubber, and the oil flowed, I dropped the slippery bottle, and it landed with perfect precision: right on my left foot’s . It made me jump a smidgeon. Of course, I took it all in my stride, grinned and laughed off the agony.

I dropped the tube of Germolene due to an unexpected sudden and I dropped tube, and totally without thinking, I bent down to pick it up !
Oh, I’ve mentioned
my new ailment yet, have I? I’ll introduce you to it then. Not easy giving it a name cause I’m not sure what it is yet.
Pains similar to , but around, the back of the rib cage. At first, I thought I must have banged something when I took the tumble on whatever day it was. But Carer whatshername could see no bruising.
Then I thought it might be something to do with bladder and urine infection coming back again.
Then I changed my mind cause I found the ribs hurting when I tried to lift my right arm;
and if I tried to bend down at all. No idea if means anything, but had given many more bouts of the shakes this morning than she did all of last week?
Now, over the last eight hours, there have been times when there were no stabbing pains at all (unless I bent or raised my right arm), but the sharp stabbing pains always return and stay longer than the moments of relief.

I thought at first, well, it’s good luck that I have made (Carer TY did, actually), an appointment to see the Doctor. Then it dawned on me, it is 15 days away!
So, I’ve been at the analgesics more than I would have liked. But needs must. Is that the right saying? Needs must? Grammarly has not objected?

Right now, as I am typing my errors and mistakes on this blog, has just kicked of with her most violent attack of the day yet. But the stabbing pains in the ribs are now far less frequent? I’m confused… but that’s nothing new.

The last Accifauxpa of the , was only one of the regulars… No, having said that, I’ve done this for weeks, I don’t think? It was a bog-standard shoulder charge at the edge of the wet room door on leaving it. . And… please note this – there were no revenge shakings from . I’ve confused myself even more now?

It’s taken so long to get up to here on this blog – Blog time at 07:00hrs, but the real-time is now… sod it, the clocks stopped, battery kaput, methinks. I’ll get the spyglass and look at the computer clock… hang on… 15:18hrs, I just will not have time to put everything in detail now. Shorthand from here on folks, sorry me hearties!

Worked on updating and making mistakes on the Friday blog (4 hours). Got it posted. Pinterested. A massive amount of comments had come in on WordPress, so I replied to it. (One. Hehehe!) Emailed the link.

Carer Jamina arrived around 07:30hrs. A new gal to me. Lovely lady. Had a natter after giving me the medications. She checked the taps and stove on leaving, taking the waste bags to the chute for me. ♥

Went on WordPress Reader. But it wouldn’t give me access to some sites?

The Tap-tapping, bang-banging, drilling gentleman in the flat above kicked off again. Amazingly he was not too noisy this morning.

Pressed on, making error after mistake and hitting the wrong buttons and icons in my effort to get the Ode for the day done and Nottingham News graphics done. Harder work than ever now with the eyes so bad. I do love trying.
Sorry for any errors that get through!.

Here are the early morning photographs from the kitchen. I nearly forgot them. Tsk!
Not too bad.

Had to keep going for wee-wees regularly throughout the day.

I don’t think I’ve taken so many in such a short time (six hours) before. Then again, thinking back, maybe I have; Hehe!

I just took my fourth trip to the Porcelain Throne.

I think Herbert must be going out today. Mayhap delivering some of the steam-powered toy trains to the kids at the school? All quiet now!
11:30hrs Carer Kara Arrived! I asked about the cleaner lady I’m paying for who had not called for three weeks. Kara looked at this week’s roster, and she’s on it… no, next week’s roster.

I pressed on, making cock-ups and mistakes on this blog for hours.

So tired now, with my getting up so early. Going to make something to eat, methinks some potato Rostis, tomatoes and rolls? Yes, with some BBQ sauce, of course. I might not be back until morning… then again, I may get up early again and make a start on updating this blog…
Or not.

Whoops, not done the Health Checks.

:

Smug-Mode-Adopted – Yee-ha!

A photo of the half-eaten meal of the day is here on the right. Vegan bacon, tomatoes, Potato Rostis, Orange yoghourt, and two brown rolls.
With my usual BBQ sauce.
Despite the and that kicked off as I started digesting this feast of flavour, I still enjoyed it muchly. Flavour Rating: 8.8/10!

Washed the pots… but when I got in the kitchen to do them, I found that I’d left the darned hot water tap running… Again! Self-cursing began!

Zzz! Deep sweet sleep… heavenly… I think I was having a tête-à-tête with St. Peter at his gates at one point. Well, more of an argument, really; he wanted to send me back to life again. No Way! Not with the everyday agony of the ailments, struggling with hearing, seeing, and the Mental-Torture of Dementia Doreen – I wasn’t having that! And, she’s given me aboulomania!
I was woken up when the 21:15hr late check call arrived at 22:10hrs. I recall the gal apologising for being late but little else. My chronology clock was all topsy-turvy. I remembered the Toblerone for her cause it wasn’t in the treats box this morning, so I got something right.
Locked the door as she departed. (I
know this cause it was locked in the morning).

Got off back to sleep, but this time it was full of the usual repeated, regular pullulating jerking awake with the twitching right shoulder, and often knocking something off of the ottoman as the limbs flail! That’s not right, is it? I did tell the Doctor about this. The response I got was an odd down-the-nose look that said to me: “The man’s potty!” followed by, let me know if it gets worse. What’s she waiting for, the arm to drop off? Or, for me, to pass away through sleep deprivation? It’s a lot worse now with extra waking-ups from the unaccountable

Still, yer don’t like to complain, does yer.

TTFNski!

Another year, nearly, yet – still time to regret!

Thursday 22nd September 2022: Cartoon, Ode & Diary

THURSDAY’s POLITICAL CARTOON
Inchies Ode Of The Day
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That’s all the photos, mates.
Unless I can sort out the Lumix later.
But I’m not up to much, not a good day.
Esther the cleaner just charged me £20 for doing the washing. And I caught her helping herself to at least one 1½ bottle of Spring Water. No idea if anything else is gone.

She seemed totally unconcerned about me seeing her?
No wonder she can afford to go for a four-week holiday to see her family in South Africa.

I am not up to challenging her at the moment. Wonder if she’s fiddling with any of the other residents, as well?

I’ll get something to eat now. I’m not feeling up to much still. But at least the shakes have eased off. I’ll have to do the Morrisons short-dated Parmentier spuds and a roast vegetable risotto, methinks.
Must sort out the shower and shave before the Carer arrives later on.
Then I can get the trolley sorted out with the bags and paperwork for in the morning and get the togs ready. I shan’t use the sock glide tonight, hopefully, I can cope with it in the morning easier.
Oh, I’ve got the potato cubes in the oven. In 25 minutes, I can get the Risotto in the microwave. I’ll have a go at the Lumix again. Not that I know what I did to lose it in the first place or have the foggiest idea how to get it back working.

Fell asleep, uncomfortably waking with Thought Storms raging so often; it got to me, I made the meal. Took a snap of it, but it didn’t show on the viewer or card. In the morning, to my amazement, the meal one was on the DS card, none of the others I’d taken, mind you. They’d gone off into the ether.

Overdid it by a wide margin quantity-wise.
But ate most of it, put ray down and drifted of to sleep again.
Until Care Cheeky Charlie arrived, full of the joys of spring.
As she got the medications sorted out, she took my temperature.

My temperature has never been so high in years! 36.1°f!
She selected a drinkie and a nibble. And reminded me to lock the door as she departed. Bless her!
I slept on and off until 03:15hrs.

Hoping for a better day tomorrow… Please!

Inchcock: Diary & Ode Sun 29th May 2022

SUNDAY ODE

Advice For Whippersnappers – Part 2⅑th

Do no harm, don’t be lethiferous…
Try to avoid being fatuitous…
Resist acting violent, gratuitous,
If you have a win, it will be deciduous,
Good and bad things can be fortuitous…
You’ll seem at times fatuitous, bodacious,
When in the pub… you’ll appear streperous,
But at work, try to appear assiduous…
To try to cover for your hebetudinous,
Avoid drugs that make you feel somniferous,
Have a drink by all means, but don’t get stocious…
I used to do that, but in the morning, I felt atrocious!
Keep taking Covid-test; you can still be viruliferous!
That way, you can avoid capriciousness…
When you get arrested, do not show facetiousness!
And always remember life’s ephemeralness!

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SUNDAY 29th MAY 2022

04:45hrs: Notwithstanding only getting three hours kip, I woke up with the usual jolt but feeling a lot perkier than usual. I went all industrial: Wee-wee, then dressed, and I did the medicationalisationing.

The thigh veins looked so very much improved, and I moved on to washing the tootsies, which were also looking much improved, in the bowl on the floor. Neither of them found their way onto the SDH card? That’s a good start, I muttered to missen! Through to the kitchen to make a Glengettie brew and took a couple of snaps of the red sky this morning.

Soon got the computer on to update yesterday’s blog. But of course, the $23 million a year salaried Mr Fries, boss of Liberty-Global, who bought out Virgin Media for $18 billion, still can’t get a signal to Nottingham that even pretends to be reliable.

So, very annoying!

So, I gave up and went to try to take more photographs of the view from the kitchen window. Hopefully, they will be a success this time. Especially as the sky had reddened more now. I must say they looked almost like a couple of water paintings. Bootiful! And they went on the SDH card this time.

I spent a few moments perusing for figures in the clouds, pareidoliaing. I think there was a face in the lower of the photographs? But I could be wrong… I’m very often wrong, you know. It’s a natural gift I have. Glaucoma Gladys, SAccdes Sandra and Cataract Kathie don’t help.

Back onto the internet. I must send Fries a congratulatory email to get a signal through.

WordPress had the same problem as it started yesterday. I cannot access the comments when I’m on editing, My Home or reading? If I click on the question mark, which is not always there, as you see in this snap of the computer screen, I can sometimes get the list up? Fed up with this!

Started to update yesterday’s blog and altered the ode in it, which, on reflection, was not a good idea. I got carried away on Word Hippo to get some new rhymings that were suitable… three hours later… ♫ Oh, Susan ♫ chirped from the doorbell. Cheeky Charley came this morning to do me. Lovely chirpy lass, But the poor gal was not her usual self. Not offhand or anything like that, but seemed a little down; bless Her!

As I pressed on with the blog again, a rumbling from the innards had me hastening to the Porcelain Throne. A lot of painful effort was needed to complete the evacuation, and I had a go at the crossword book while waiting. I also spotted that the condition of the feet and lower legs had improved an awful lot this morning? Not complaining, like! Not as messy as yesterday.

The noise from above was barely noticeable. I hope that the disdainful, dismissive lad is not poorly or in pain.

I got around to drinking my first mug of tea of the day, and it was coming up to midday! I had made four mugs of tea, a Glengettie, Thompson’s Punjana, and now a Thompson’s Signature tea. I let go cold all the others – not on purpose, of course. I allowed myself half of my new daily ration of chocolate with the tea, two squares from a block of milk chocolate. Hehe!

I went through h to the kitchenette to wash the mug and found my feet sticking to the floor! I’d spilt some of the chilli-con-carne, I think, earlier when I was prepping Josie’s Sunday nosh. I bravely decided it needed a good sweep and mopping session…

I got the old spinning mop bucket out of the wet room, freshened the round disc mop, and cleaned the floor. On the heavy press pedal as I was spinning it for the first time! Not sure how I managed it, but it shot back up on me, and off came my foot?

Naturally, it didn’t affect me. A man of my heroic nature, cool, calm and concentrated. With a proclivity for remaining composed, unruffled, and in complete control of myself, at all times. I was totally unruffled… Well, erm, maybe…

I checked on Josie’s meal and moved some of the Chilli Con Carne into a plastic bowl so she’d have enough for a second nosh later on.

Then got on with the mopping of the kitchenette floor. I made sure it was well dried, in case I had to go back in urgently to check on the food cooking for any reason… Now that’s something I seem to be getting short of lately… sense! Hehehe!

Sent off the Saturday blog and made a start on this one. Then sorted Josie’s tray out for her.

Some nibbles and a can of G & T. I actually remembered that she gave me that look last week when I gave her a can of… Oh, what was it? Woo-Woo or Mojito, I think. I think I’ll go into a Smug-Mode again… There you are! Hahaha!

I delivered the meal on time again and got an approving look as she inspected the can of G & T. She said she was on the phone with a friend, so I didn’t keep her.

As I entered the flat, I noticed the three waste bags still there laying on the box. Not taken to the chute for me. But it gave me a bit of exercise. I made another one and popped them all into the chute. However…

Coming out of the room, I had a minuscule, short involuntary right-leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler drop-something and flail-about dance. It only lasted a few seconds, but the timing was not good as I closed the door. Ah, well!

I turned the oven on and got some updating done on this blog. Took a break to make another mug of tea… I’m determined to get one drunk today! Took a distance and close up pictures of the beautiful looking sky.

The zoomed-n shot was not up to much, inferior quality. But taking it, I was sure I’d captured a figure of a face… but no! Tsk!

I had convoluted to get to look and the WordPress comments.

I’ll get my chips in the oven now; they should be hot enough. Sat and nodded for a few minutes, then got up and searched around for the missing magnifying glass, which had not been seen for months, and the mysterious hidden-away somewhere headphones. No luck with either!

Got my nosh sorted out and served up. The new Morrison’s beer-battered chips were not to my liking. A Flavour raring of 6/10 was the most I could give it. All else was okay. Whenceforth, I’ll try to get only the curry-flavoured ones. But they substitute such a lot. Hence the beer battered, which I did not order.

I was just about to nod off after eating what I did of the plateful, and the ♫ Oh, Susana… ♫, the Evening Carer arrived. Got the meds sorted and was off in a flash. Bless her! No waste bags; I took them myself earlier when the morning gal missed taking them.

Bill Ziegler, I like his style of writing and humour. I checked to see if any comments had come in and replied to them. Then Facebook catch-up… a lot had to be done.

Head down in search of sleep… and, importantly, staying asleep! Well, that was a failure…

Inchcock Today: Ode to Sanity – Part11⅒th

ODE TO THE THOUGHT-STORMS
Inspired while Inchy was waiting for the action to start at his mornings’ Porcelain Throne visitation. It took a while!

The Thought-Storms on the Throne are getting nastier!
No respite, the evacuation stopped halfway, I got edgier…
The questions came at me; it couldn’t be crappier…
It’ll be a while before the pain stops, and I feel any happier!

Any logic in the Thoughts couldn’t have been scantier…
From the fear of loneliness, Putin, and questioning Santa!
Should I have a mug of tea or a can of Fanta?
The Thoughts mingled became silly and schleppier…

Hopes, then worries, self-pity, to pathetic fear!
Strangely, after so many years, I fancied a beer!
The brain was making me feel dizzy, oddly queer…
The nose began to run, and it got even leakier!

My confidence in coping died, I became even qualmier…
The Thought-Storm was driving me balmier…
I noticed that my stomach looked lardier…
And Little Inchies fungal lesion got itchier?

The Thought-Storms had me by the jugular…
I tried to fool them and acted jauntier…
Talking to myself, battling the brain,
I couldn’t move because of the evacuation pain!
The whole situation became worse again…
When Neuropathic Pete got me shaking, jitterier!

I knew that later on, things would calm down, likelier…
Suddenly the room felt cold, much parkier…
I even began to shake and shiver?
Gawd, things were getting nigglier!
I felt I was going even loonier!

The evacuation flowed again, which made me panickier,
Should I give a push, or leave it, which would be riskier?
Then the Thought Storms got even bolshier…
And the room felt like a fridge; it got so much chillier?
Was I still in the recliner dreaming? Or going crazier?

Then for once, I got luckier…
I stood up, feeling pluckier…
The evacuation ended alright,
As I pushed with all my might,
It had been a struggle and fight,
I’d won, no bleeding, I felt leerier…

For the Thought Storms stopped then…
As stubbed my toe on the tungsten…
I don’t usually appreciate the pain often…
But the Thought-Storms stopping was a gem!

Part of the Inchies True Make Them Laugh In Ode Series

Inchcock Today: Wednesday Welches

Catch-Up

The Sweet & Sour bread was well buttered and filled with plenty of the delightful tasting Polish Szynka Biata pork. My own recipe of burnt BBQ flavoured chips and sliced black tomato. An orange jelly and spray cream dessert. I enjoyed it all. Flavour rating 7.5/10.

It wasn’t that special. The bread tasted so different to any other I’ve ever had, a little sweeter perhaps. It was not over-appealing to me. But not worth the asking price of £1.89 for a 400g sliced loaf. I’ll not waste what’s left cause I still have some of the tasty Szynka pork to use up.

As I exited the wet room from doing my ablutions, I walked yet again into the doorframe, giving it a decent shoulder charge in the process. Swear? Me? Yes!

Pondering over which tea to use for my evening cuppa; Glengettie, Thompsons Punjana or JS Extra Strong, I observed the shallow sunset appearing, so I got my camera and took these shots arrayed of the left here.

I made the brew and Eurgh! It was not even warm, let alone boiled? I switched the kettle back on, washed the mug out, turned, and the kettle had stopped working altogether! I fiddled with the contact points and tried again. Ah! it’s lit up…

All to no avail. It switched itself off again! Now, this is a severe dilemma I’m in! A man, an Englishman, denied his mug of tea? Horrendous! No option other than to use the saucepan then. It’s not going to beat me, oh, no!

But it did! Peripheral Neuropathy Pete’s neurotransmitters failed at the flipping wrong time – just as I was pouring the water into the mug! The water had spilt onto my first-time worn, new pyjama bottoms, scolded the thigh a smidge, and I now have one more petite China mug to use! But the Whoopsies didn’t end there; oh, No!

After cleaning up the mess, (Have you ever tried mopping a floor while using a walking stick? It’s not easy!) I’d just finished clearing up and decided that regrettably, a mug of tea was too dangerous without the kettle… well, I mean, trying to use a saucepan with my problems is a no-no! But I remembered Sister Jane telling me she uses the microwave to make her tea, so I tried it out…

I put the water in the mug and placed it in the microwave. I set it on high for three minutes (just a guess!) and kept my nose close to the glass to look for any signs of bubbling water… It started so quickly, and by the time I’d opened the door to get the mug out, the water had all evaporated, or to be more precise, had evacuated the cup for the microwave! Great! Now I dare not use the oven for fear of the water getting into the electrics! Crying was an option, of course… I ended up having a drink of spring water. That making a brew didn’t go according to plan, did it?

Ode To Wednesday’s Whateverisms

What isms can I expect to find today? Yes, Accifauxparisms,
Whoopsiedangleploperisms, and hooliganisms…
From spoon-in-the mouth bosses? Hobbledehoyisms,
If I was younger, I’d fancy some flirtationalisms…
It’s a growing cult, so perhaps some heathenisms?
If you see a German, you’ll get gutturalisms!
Or an American politician – greenbackisms!
On Grammarly, I’ll find grammaticisms…
From the local yobbery will come gangsterisms,
The librarian or Hippy, mayhaps Freudianisms?
From local back-handed Councillors? Favouritisms!
At the local food takeaway, botulism that poisons!
Your local police force, parking tickets and heroisms…
From the motorways, drunken fatalisms…
From Putin? Mostly, falsisms, but also cataclysms!

 –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –  –

06:15hrs: I stirred back into imitation life, and as the Thought-Storms started, I was rescued by the need to use the Porcelain Throne. Bungled my elephantine flabby body out of the £300 second-hand c1968 recliner and made my way gingerly to the wet room. I thought that was a good idea cause the Porcelain Throne is in there!

As I got inside and rested Metal Mickey on a flat bit of the floor, it dawned on me, miraculously, that the J Sainsbury order is coming today! Crikey, it’s due 06:30 > 07:30hrs! It could arrive at any time.

But of course, the evacuation had to be a rock-solid affair again. I can assure you, urgently pushing cement with your tummy muscles in haste to rid yourself of your own waste is painful! Try not to do it unless it is imperative!

I was coming out of the wet room door, and the intercom which was facing me in the hallway flashed. Talk about just making it! But I still can’t hear the pathetic weak jingle it gives off.

The chap transferred the things from his plastic boxes into my cardboard ones in a jiffy. I gave him a choice of cans in thanks (Gin lime & Lemonade), and off he went. Not a lot there today?

As I unloaded the boxes, I realised there was a lot there.

The cut cobs had one days’ date on them. Substituted the flowers for dearer ones. Not that it really matters; I wanted them to treat Jenny and Francis. Something that didn’t matter was replaced. But the cheese curls were very hard! Bit of a disappointment that was

The fridge did not look very full after I’d emptied things and stored them away? A bit baron, I thought. Or is it me, being got at by Dementia Doreen again? Hehe!

Enough Doreen! Leave me alone, please! I’ll give some of the bananas to Richard when he comes; I ordered a bunch of five, at least I thought I did, or I meant to…

I put the daffodils in separate bags and kept them in the cool and darkness of the hallway. I’ll take them down later on, too early yet awhile to disturb folks who may be sleeping…

Ah! That takes me back… Sleeping! Hahaha! ♫Those were the days, my friend; I thought they’d never end…♫

Carer Richard came in without ringing the chime. Made me jump a bit. No way I can hear anyone knocking on the door. I was initially concerned that the chimer may have broken. Till he told me he had on the door. Well, it is the end of his shift. Haha! Bound to be feeling tired now.

A good lad is Richard. We had a chinwag after he’d done the medications for me, making the time, although he should be trotting off home now. Didn’t want to keep him too long. He also checked the dates on stuff in the fridge for me that were too small for me to read.

I felt a downturn in spirits when Richard had left, and the mind blanks began. I hate it when getting these blank spots! They are still going off all day, for a minute or two, or half an hour or an hour.

I knew I could not get any more photos loaded on the computer, so I stopped taking them. Spent more hours making errors and correcting them on the blog. Everything takes so long to do compared to 6-months ago.

Worra-life! Miniature tackle from birth, the eyes are going with Kathleen Cataracts, Glaucoma Glenda, and Saccades Sandra. The ears blocked, Shaking Shaun, Arthur Itis, Duodenal Donald, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy Pete, with his neurotransmitters failing, all affected, along with my sanity, concentration and memory, by the big one – Vascular Dementia Doreen! Heck, I’m coming down in spirits suddenly… WHY?

I decided to take the flowers to Jenny and Francis, my treat; I hope it perks people up a smidge. Although later, Jenny emailed me telling me I didn’t have to bother. Which didn’t help me to cheer up much! I had to stop blogging for a while, not that it was going well anyway.

I had another blank while out taking the flowers. I can recall Frank talking to me and a few seconds with Francis, but going in the lifts may as well as not have happened, for I have no memory of using the elevators at all?

I obviously got back in the flat cause I was fiddling with the kettle, trying to get it to work, and wondered how I got there? Comical in one way but scary in another.

The snotty one was drilling when I got back to the computer, but it was still dour progress. Herbert kept the noise to short bursts, intentional or not; I appreciated that.

I went onto the balcony to take a photo of the end car park and decided not to bother. This is the only photo I could get onto the computer of the holes and cracks in the balcony roof joints.

Ups and downs today! I spent hours more blogging and was beginning to enjoy it a bit more when for some inexplicable but heaven-sent reason, the Neurotransmitters made contact with the brain! And stayed that way for about an hour; it was utter bliss! It couldn’t last I realised that, but it was so nice to type and know when the finger ends made contact with every button I hit on the keyboard.

The evening carer is due shortly; it’s that late! So, I’ll get some fodder sorted out… Oh, better do the belated Heath Checks first.

Here we go. Oh, heckithump! SYS 164 DIA 66, Temp 34.1°c.

Then, Little Inchies fungal lesion just started bleeding without anything happening to cause it, as far as I know. I suppose I could have knocked it during a mind-blank, but no, it would have bled then, not now hours later? Also, pain when I cleaned things up and applied the Daktacort ointment. I cringed a little and may have uttered something along the lines of “Oh, heck, that stung a bit!” Ahem! Confusion Conrad joins us!

I made up an evening meal, but not what I planned to make. All four foods were excellent and tasty. The garden peas, the yellow tomatoes, the ready-cooked smoked bacon, and above all, the Cheesy-Twists, tasted heavenly! They had been overcooked, with hard crispy edges on them both, but that is how I like them! Ah, well, I ate it all up.

Evening Carer Valerie arrived, as I was just finishing the nosh off. It was all guesswork as to what she said; the gal has a low voice for hearing, bless her. I offered her a choice of nibble or drink in thanks. She took a handful. Hahaha! Valerie took the black waste bag with her to the chute for me. ♥

I finished off the meal, washed up, and settled down in search of Sweet Morpheus, that’d have been around 19:00hrs. At midnight, I was still battling the infamously, sleep-destroying, pestering Thought-Storms. Gragnangles!

Inchcock Today: Friday & Saturday

Frustrating Friday & Super Saturday

Ode wot I wrote on Saturday

What bits I can remember,
Are we still in December?
I’m feeling slow and dumber…
Indeed, the body is getting plumper…

I’m out of my comfort zone…
Yet, to joyfulness, I’m prone?
Nowt’s changed, still home alone?
Gone deaf, can’t hear the phone!
Eyesight bad, moan, moan, moan!
Can it be due to my testosterone?
The computer is like a battle zone!
And I can’t find my mobile phone!

I still feel unbothered, most macabre?
Constantly talking to myself, jibber-jabber!
Had no drink, I should be sober!
Memory Maureen failing… whencever,
Is it the Hemp, Simvastatin, whatever?

I spent 8+ hours on the snippet blog new,
Endless mistakes, all needing a review…
The night Carer arrived, she had the blues…
I’d not planned food… sausage or a stew?
Still upbeat… I asked her for a pas de deux!
She replied: ‘You know what you can do!”

I finished the new blog; it was mostly crime…
Then again, Nottingham’s news is all the time!
Got a meal late, morning time, but that’s fine!
Got around to doing this blog’s design…
The notepad… I just couldn’t find!

Saturday
I can only blame Dementia Doreen…
Cocking things up, behind the scene…
The computers got a wobbly screen!
Cartilage Cathies pain… I want to scream…
Yet things are going like a dream?
Well, no! So many cock-ups, unforeseen,
Dropped and broke, my little green tureen!
New pains arrive around the spleen…
Laundry returned, more creased than it’s ever been!
Yet I’m singing to myself? It’s almost obscene!
Cataracts! I can hardly see the flatscreen!
I’m losing it… is life just a smokescreen?
I was unbothered, almost contented, serene?
I’m as lackadaisical as a circumforanean…
I’m clinging onto semi-sanity, it would seem?
I blame Dementia Doreen, I deem!

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Friday

What Bits I Can Recall

Well, I’ve found page one of the reminder notes. I’m so unbothered at the moment, still don’t know why I feel this way or how long it will be before the Dracula Depression returns. What’s going on here? Have I been given a ‘Happy Pill’ or something? It seems yesterdays ‘Couldn’t-care-less’ scenario is still with me?

The ghosts, wraiths, spectres, apparitions, and other grotesqueries haunt the hallways and lobbies. Worry and confuse me! Searching for Inchcock, to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare… No, it’ll be down to Doreen’s Dementia! I can only put it down to the mysteries of Winwood Heights.

Luckily, I’d been taking many photographs, and even luckier, I managed after a frustrating battle with the computer’s SD card reader and got them loaded to use here. Although some of them I can’t remember taking.

That’s another thing, why am I not bothered about this! Surely I should be?

This is not, or is it, from Friday cause I seem to recall that the red van-man was parked back in his favourite illegal position on the chevrons? A good start, that is! Hey-Ho! I vaguely remember going onto the balcony to take this photograph, obviously using the Fuji camera, because of its shape, of the end car park… but no, on second thoughts, another cock-up I’ve made.

Not sure as to why I took this shot of the computer desk in the dark. I know I was having troubles uploading the photos, and the icons had all changed size of their own accord? Harrumphs!

Annoyingly and frustratingly, I’d mentioned much in the notes I found to trigger any memories. Tsk! Total blank, but I’m sure it was Helen! I think it was Carer Helen who called in the morning.

I think I got the icons back up, but not to what size they were; they are mentioned in the notes. As if the farce with trying to get the photos loaded from the card, and my giving up on the job. (I tried again in the morning and got the on! Yee-Haa! There was a lot of scribble concerning me making tea and dropping the mug, but catching it before it hit the floor and getting my fingers scolded a little. Hehe! I wondered why they hurt a smidgeon this morning; now I know.

I took a shot of the morning skyline, and, according to the notes, I thought it was beautiful despite the gag colouring?

The more exciting thing was as I was closing the window’s door, I inadvertently caught the button on the Fuji camera and took a shot through the bottom glass. Hahaha! It came out better than any photo taken.

A mention of kicking off early with the clattering and tap-tapping was read. How I could have heard it with the state of my era-holes is surprising. It must have been loud?

SYS 158, DIA 69, Pulse 95 and the body temperature was 34.5°c.

Made an order for J Sainsbury’s for next weekend. And ordered some t-shirts and something else… I’ll have a look to see what it was… Ah, pyjama bottoms.

Out of memory notes now. Good job too. I took some photos. I definitely can remember making up the Local News Snippets block; a scribble on the bottom of the one-sheet left indicated 8 hours, but carried onto the missing sheets; I think that is how long I was doing them!

I found another mystery photo I cannot recall taking, let alone why? However, the computer is not on. (See that? How quick I was to notice that? Hahaha!) It looks like it’s teatime ish, cause the lights going. It might have been when I gave up on blogging. Or not, maybe, perhaps, possibly…

I can recall a little later taking some pictures of the early sunsetting. Boy, did these take some sorting in the morning to get on here. However, just about worth the effort, although not brilliant at all. I think I took them over ten minutes while cooking the belated nosh.

Then eventually, I got the meal served up. It doesn’t look much appearance-wise, but I did enjoy this vegetarian effort for a change. Baked potatoes with butter, a leek onion and something else, I forget what it was now… ah, potato pie. Tomatoes and fresh garden peas. I can remember them cause I left them in the pan when I was about to start eating the meal. So went back and salvaged them. Put them on the plate and took this snap. Flavour Rating: 7.2/10, methinks.

As I went into the kitchenette to wash up, I was greeted by the now really beautiful sunsetting!

I hastened to get the Canon camera, and I returned to take these pictures of it.

Glad I caught this.

I washed the pots and stove and settled into the £300, second-hand, c1968, second-hand, c1968, Charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, haemorrhoid-testing, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner.

The Thought-Storm thundered into action as soon as I got my feet up. Yet whatever it was that was making so content and unannoyable today were still at it. And I just put the TV on to watch a murder documentary, and at first, no, the second set of averts… Zzz!

Saturday

Ode To The Saturday Blues

Enough of this mad scriptitation…
Nobody reads it much in the entire nation…
It’s turning me to zombification…
Though, I feel it is my vocation…
My mind’s losing its location…
Sometimes, it’s a mental violation,
Turning my brains into vegetation!
I’m going bonkers… I need no verification…
My sanity needs another health evaluation,
Mayhaps, a cannabis vaccination?
Or, a trip to the seaside, on vacation?
I really need a cataracts diagnostician…
Psychiatrist, urologist and an acoustician,
I’m in desperate need of a mortician,
Or someone to explain; mankind’s declension?
Oh! I need the Porcelain Thrones’ attention…

I woke with a double whammy of ailments; I think that’s what woke me up. Still, it made a nice change from being woken up by Arthur Itis, Cathy Cartilage, Anne Gyna or Duodenal Donald. And plus as well, they both claimed down within a few minutes! Oh, I forgot to tell what they were, Tsk!

I’d got the camera nearby, so I took a one-handed snap of it – Clever stuff! Well, alright, it wasn’t clever then! Hehehe! I’d got Colin Cramps distorting my right-hand something wicked.