Thursday 22nd September 2022: Cartoon, Ode & Diary

THURSDAY’s POLITICAL CARTOON
Inchies Ode Of The Day
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That’s all the photos, mates.
Unless I can sort out the Lumix later.
But I’m not up to much, not a good day.
Esther the cleaner just charged me £20 for doing the washing. And I caught her helping herself to at least one 1½ bottle of Spring Water. No idea if anything else is gone.

She seemed totally unconcerned about me seeing her?
No wonder she can afford to go for a four-week holiday to see her family in South Africa.

I am not up to challenging her at the moment. Wonder if she’s fiddling with any of the other residents, as well?

I’ll get something to eat now. I’m not feeling up to much still. But at least the shakes have eased off. I’ll have to do the Morrisons short-dated Parmentier spuds and a roast vegetable risotto, methinks.
Must sort out the shower and shave before the Carer arrives later on.
Then I can get the trolley sorted out with the bags and paperwork for in the morning and get the togs ready. I shan’t use the sock glide tonight, hopefully, I can cope with it in the morning easier.
Oh, I’ve got the potato cubes in the oven. In 25 minutes, I can get the Risotto in the microwave. I’ll have a go at the Lumix again. Not that I know what I did to lose it in the first place or have the foggiest idea how to get it back working.

Fell asleep, uncomfortably waking with Thought Storms raging so often; it got to me, I made the meal. Took a snap of it, but it didn’t show on the viewer or card. In the morning, to my amazement, the meal one was on the DS card, none of the others I’d taken, mind you. They’d gone off into the ether.

Overdid it by a wide margin quantity-wise.
But ate most of it, put ray down and drifted of to sleep again.
Until Care Cheeky Charlie arrived, full of the joys of spring.
As she got the medications sorted out, she took my temperature.

My temperature has never been so high in years! 36.1°f!
She selected a drinkie and a nibble. And reminded me to lock the door as she departed. Bless her!
I slept on and off until 03:15hrs.

Hoping for a better day tomorrow… Please!

Inchcock: Diary & Ode Sun 29th May 2022

SUNDAY ODE

Advice For Whippersnappers – Part 2⅑th

Do no harm, don’t be lethiferous…
Try to avoid being fatuitous…
Resist acting violent, gratuitous,
If you have a win, it will be deciduous,
Good and bad things can be fortuitous…
You’ll seem at times fatuitous, bodacious,
When in the pub… you’ll appear streperous,
But at work, try to appear assiduous…
To try to cover for your hebetudinous,
Avoid drugs that make you feel somniferous,
Have a drink by all means, but don’t get stocious…
I used to do that, but in the morning, I felt atrocious!
Keep taking Covid-test; you can still be viruliferous!
That way, you can avoid capriciousness…
When you get arrested, do not show facetiousness!
And always remember life’s ephemeralness!

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SUNDAY 29th MAY 2022

04:45hrs: Notwithstanding only getting three hours kip, I woke up with the usual jolt but feeling a lot perkier than usual. I went all industrial: Wee-wee, then dressed, and I did the medicationalisationing.

The thigh veins looked so very much improved, and I moved on to washing the tootsies, which were also looking much improved, in the bowl on the floor. Neither of them found their way onto the SDH card? That’s a good start, I muttered to missen! Through to the kitchen to make a Glengettie brew and took a couple of snaps of the red sky this morning.

Soon got the computer on to update yesterday’s blog. But of course, the $23 million a year salaried Mr Fries, boss of Liberty-Global, who bought out Virgin Media for $18 billion, still can’t get a signal to Nottingham that even pretends to be reliable.

So, very annoying!

So, I gave up and went to try to take more photographs of the view from the kitchen window. Hopefully, they will be a success this time. Especially as the sky had reddened more now. I must say they looked almost like a couple of water paintings. Bootiful! And they went on the SDH card this time.

I spent a few moments perusing for figures in the clouds, pareidoliaing. I think there was a face in the lower of the photographs? But I could be wrong… I’m very often wrong, you know. It’s a natural gift I have. Glaucoma Gladys, SAccdes Sandra and Cataract Kathie don’t help.

Back onto the internet. I must send Fries a congratulatory email to get a signal through.

WordPress had the same problem as it started yesterday. I cannot access the comments when I’m on editing, My Home or reading? If I click on the question mark, which is not always there, as you see in this snap of the computer screen, I can sometimes get the list up? Fed up with this!

Started to update yesterday’s blog and altered the ode in it, which, on reflection, was not a good idea. I got carried away on Word Hippo to get some new rhymings that were suitable… three hours later… ♫ Oh, Susan ♫ chirped from the doorbell. Cheeky Charley came this morning to do me. Lovely chirpy lass, But the poor gal was not her usual self. Not offhand or anything like that, but seemed a little down; bless Her!

As I pressed on with the blog again, a rumbling from the innards had me hastening to the Porcelain Throne. A lot of painful effort was needed to complete the evacuation, and I had a go at the crossword book while waiting. I also spotted that the condition of the feet and lower legs had improved an awful lot this morning? Not complaining, like! Not as messy as yesterday.

The noise from above was barely noticeable. I hope that the disdainful, dismissive lad is not poorly or in pain.

I got around to drinking my first mug of tea of the day, and it was coming up to midday! I had made four mugs of tea, a Glengettie, Thompson’s Punjana, and now a Thompson’s Signature tea. I let go cold all the others – not on purpose, of course. I allowed myself half of my new daily ration of chocolate with the tea, two squares from a block of milk chocolate. Hehe!

I went through h to the kitchenette to wash the mug and found my feet sticking to the floor! I’d spilt some of the chilli-con-carne, I think, earlier when I was prepping Josie’s Sunday nosh. I bravely decided it needed a good sweep and mopping session…

I got the old spinning mop bucket out of the wet room, freshened the round disc mop, and cleaned the floor. On the heavy press pedal as I was spinning it for the first time! Not sure how I managed it, but it shot back up on me, and off came my foot?

Naturally, it didn’t affect me. A man of my heroic nature, cool, calm and concentrated. With a proclivity for remaining composed, unruffled, and in complete control of myself, at all times. I was totally unruffled… Well, erm, maybe…

I checked on Josie’s meal and moved some of the Chilli Con Carne into a plastic bowl so she’d have enough for a second nosh later on.

Then got on with the mopping of the kitchenette floor. I made sure it was well dried, in case I had to go back in urgently to check on the food cooking for any reason… Now that’s something I seem to be getting short of lately… sense! Hehehe!

Sent off the Saturday blog and made a start on this one. Then sorted Josie’s tray out for her.

Some nibbles and a can of G & T. I actually remembered that she gave me that look last week when I gave her a can of… Oh, what was it? Woo-Woo or Mojito, I think. I think I’ll go into a Smug-Mode again… There you are! Hahaha!

I delivered the meal on time again and got an approving look as she inspected the can of G & T. She said she was on the phone with a friend, so I didn’t keep her.

As I entered the flat, I noticed the three waste bags still there laying on the box. Not taken to the chute for me. But it gave me a bit of exercise. I made another one and popped them all into the chute. However…

Coming out of the room, I had a minuscule, short involuntary right-leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler drop-something and flail-about dance. It only lasted a few seconds, but the timing was not good as I closed the door. Ah, well!

I turned the oven on and got some updating done on this blog. Took a break to make another mug of tea… I’m determined to get one drunk today! Took a distance and close up pictures of the beautiful looking sky.

The zoomed-n shot was not up to much, inferior quality. But taking it, I was sure I’d captured a figure of a face… but no! Tsk!

I had convoluted to get to look and the WordPress comments.

I’ll get my chips in the oven now; they should be hot enough. Sat and nodded for a few minutes, then got up and searched around for the missing magnifying glass, which had not been seen for months, and the mysterious hidden-away somewhere headphones. No luck with either!

Got my nosh sorted out and served up. The new Morrison’s beer-battered chips were not to my liking. A Flavour raring of 6/10 was the most I could give it. All else was okay. Whenceforth, I’ll try to get only the curry-flavoured ones. But they substitute such a lot. Hence the beer battered, which I did not order.

I was just about to nod off after eating what I did of the plateful, and the ♫ Oh, Susana… ♫, the Evening Carer arrived. Got the meds sorted and was off in a flash. Bless her! No waste bags; I took them myself earlier when the morning gal missed taking them.

Bill Ziegler, I like his style of writing and humour. I checked to see if any comments had come in and replied to them. Then Facebook catch-up… a lot had to be done.

Head down in search of sleep… and, importantly, staying asleep! Well, that was a failure…

Inchcock Today: Ode to Sanity – Part11⅒th

ODE TO THE THOUGHT-STORMS
Inspired while Inchy was waiting for the action to start at his mornings’ Porcelain Throne visitation. It took a while!

The Thought-Storms on the Throne are getting nastier!
No respite, the evacuation stopped halfway, I got edgier…
The questions came at me; it couldn’t be crappier…
It’ll be a while before the pain stops, and I feel any happier!

Any logic in the Thoughts couldn’t have been scantier…
From the fear of loneliness, Putin, and questioning Santa!
Should I have a mug of tea or a can of Fanta?
The Thoughts mingled became silly and schleppier…

Hopes, then worries, self-pity, to pathetic fear!
Strangely, after so many years, I fancied a beer!
The brain was making me feel dizzy, oddly queer…
The nose began to run, and it got even leakier!

My confidence in coping died, I became even qualmier…
The Thought-Storm was driving me balmier…
I noticed that my stomach looked lardier…
And Little Inchies fungal lesion got itchier?

The Thought-Storms had me by the jugular…
I tried to fool them and acted jauntier…
Talking to myself, battling the brain,
I couldn’t move because of the evacuation pain!
The whole situation became worse again…
When Neuropathic Pete got me shaking, jitterier!

I knew that later on, things would calm down, likelier…
Suddenly the room felt cold, much parkier…
I even began to shake and shiver?
Gawd, things were getting nigglier!
I felt I was going even loonier!

The evacuation flowed again, which made me panickier,
Should I give a push, or leave it, which would be riskier?
Then the Thought Storms got even bolshier…
And the room felt like a fridge; it got so much chillier?
Was I still in the recliner dreaming? Or going crazier?

Then for once, I got luckier…
I stood up, feeling pluckier…
The evacuation ended alright,
As I pushed with all my might,
It had been a struggle and fight,
I’d won, no bleeding, I felt leerier…

For the Thought Storms stopped then…
As stubbed my toe on the tungsten…
I don’t usually appreciate the pain often…
But the Thought-Storms stopping was a gem!

Part of the Inchies True Make Them Laugh In Ode Series

Inchcock Today: Wednesday Welches

Catch-Up

The Sweet & Sour bread was well buttered and filled with plenty of the delightful tasting Polish Szynka Biata pork. My own recipe of burnt BBQ flavoured chips and sliced black tomato. An orange jelly and spray cream dessert. I enjoyed it all. Flavour rating 7.5/10.

It wasn’t that special. The bread tasted so different to any other I’ve ever had, a little sweeter perhaps. It was not over-appealing to me. But not worth the asking price of £1.89 for a 400g sliced loaf. I’ll not waste what’s left cause I still have some of the tasty Szynka pork to use up.

As I exited the wet room from doing my ablutions, I walked yet again into the doorframe, giving it a decent shoulder charge in the process. Swear? Me? Yes!

Pondering over which tea to use for my evening cuppa; Glengettie, Thompsons Punjana or JS Extra Strong, I observed the shallow sunset appearing, so I got my camera and took these shots arrayed of the left here.

I made the brew and Eurgh! It was not even warm, let alone boiled? I switched the kettle back on, washed the mug out, turned, and the kettle had stopped working altogether! I fiddled with the contact points and tried again. Ah! it’s lit up…

All to no avail. It switched itself off again! Now, this is a severe dilemma I’m in! A man, an Englishman, denied his mug of tea? Horrendous! No option other than to use the saucepan then. It’s not going to beat me, oh, no!

But it did! Peripheral Neuropathy Pete’s neurotransmitters failed at the flipping wrong time – just as I was pouring the water into the mug! The water had spilt onto my first-time worn, new pyjama bottoms, scolded the thigh a smidge, and I now have one more petite China mug to use! But the Whoopsies didn’t end there; oh, No!

After cleaning up the mess, (Have you ever tried mopping a floor while using a walking stick? It’s not easy!) I’d just finished clearing up and decided that regrettably, a mug of tea was too dangerous without the kettle… well, I mean, trying to use a saucepan with my problems is a no-no! But I remembered Sister Jane telling me she uses the microwave to make her tea, so I tried it out…

I put the water in the mug and placed it in the microwave. I set it on high for three minutes (just a guess!) and kept my nose close to the glass to look for any signs of bubbling water… It started so quickly, and by the time I’d opened the door to get the mug out, the water had all evaporated, or to be more precise, had evacuated the cup for the microwave! Great! Now I dare not use the oven for fear of the water getting into the electrics! Crying was an option, of course… I ended up having a drink of spring water. That making a brew didn’t go according to plan, did it?

Ode To Wednesday’s Whateverisms

What isms can I expect to find today? Yes, Accifauxparisms,
Whoopsiedangleploperisms, and hooliganisms…
From spoon-in-the mouth bosses? Hobbledehoyisms,
If I was younger, I’d fancy some flirtationalisms…
It’s a growing cult, so perhaps some heathenisms?
If you see a German, you’ll get gutturalisms!
Or an American politician – greenbackisms!
On Grammarly, I’ll find grammaticisms…
From the local yobbery will come gangsterisms,
The librarian or Hippy, mayhaps Freudianisms?
From local back-handed Councillors? Favouritisms!
At the local food takeaway, botulism that poisons!
Your local police force, parking tickets and heroisms…
From the motorways, drunken fatalisms…
From Putin? Mostly, falsisms, but also cataclysms!

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06:15hrs: I stirred back into imitation life, and as the Thought-Storms started, I was rescued by the need to use the Porcelain Throne. Bungled my elephantine flabby body out of the £300 second-hand c1968 recliner and made my way gingerly to the wet room. I thought that was a good idea cause the Porcelain Throne is in there!

As I got inside and rested Metal Mickey on a flat bit of the floor, it dawned on me, miraculously, that the J Sainsbury order is coming today! Crikey, it’s due 06:30 > 07:30hrs! It could arrive at any time.

But of course, the evacuation had to be a rock-solid affair again. I can assure you, urgently pushing cement with your tummy muscles in haste to rid yourself of your own waste is painful! Try not to do it unless it is imperative!

I was coming out of the wet room door, and the intercom which was facing me in the hallway flashed. Talk about just making it! But I still can’t hear the pathetic weak jingle it gives off.

The chap transferred the things from his plastic boxes into my cardboard ones in a jiffy. I gave him a choice of cans in thanks (Gin lime & Lemonade), and off he went. Not a lot there today?

As I unloaded the boxes, I realised there was a lot there.

The cut cobs had one days’ date on them. Substituted the flowers for dearer ones. Not that it really matters; I wanted them to treat Jenny and Francis. Something that didn’t matter was replaced. But the cheese curls were very hard! Bit of a disappointment that was

The fridge did not look very full after I’d emptied things and stored them away? A bit baron, I thought. Or is it me, being got at by Dementia Doreen again? Hehe!

Enough Doreen! Leave me alone, please! I’ll give some of the bananas to Richard when he comes; I ordered a bunch of five, at least I thought I did, or I meant to…

I put the daffodils in separate bags and kept them in the cool and darkness of the hallway. I’ll take them down later on, too early yet awhile to disturb folks who may be sleeping…

Ah! That takes me back… Sleeping! Hahaha! ♫Those were the days, my friend; I thought they’d never end…♫

Carer Richard came in without ringing the chime. Made me jump a bit. No way I can hear anyone knocking on the door. I was initially concerned that the chimer may have broken. Till he told me he had on the door. Well, it is the end of his shift. Haha! Bound to be feeling tired now.

A good lad is Richard. We had a chinwag after he’d done the medications for me, making the time, although he should be trotting off home now. Didn’t want to keep him too long. He also checked the dates on stuff in the fridge for me that were too small for me to read.

I felt a downturn in spirits when Richard had left, and the mind blanks began. I hate it when getting these blank spots! They are still going off all day, for a minute or two, or half an hour or an hour.

I knew I could not get any more photos loaded on the computer, so I stopped taking them. Spent more hours making errors and correcting them on the blog. Everything takes so long to do compared to 6-months ago.

Worra-life! Miniature tackle from birth, the eyes are going with Kathleen Cataracts, Glaucoma Glenda, and Saccades Sandra. The ears blocked, Shaking Shaun, Arthur Itis, Duodenal Donald, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy Pete, with his neurotransmitters failing, all affected, along with my sanity, concentration and memory, by the big one – Vascular Dementia Doreen! Heck, I’m coming down in spirits suddenly… WHY?

I decided to take the flowers to Jenny and Francis, my treat; I hope it perks people up a smidge. Although later, Jenny emailed me telling me I didn’t have to bother. Which didn’t help me to cheer up much! I had to stop blogging for a while, not that it was going well anyway.

I had another blank while out taking the flowers. I can recall Frank talking to me and a few seconds with Francis, but going in the lifts may as well as not have happened, for I have no memory of using the elevators at all?

I obviously got back in the flat cause I was fiddling with the kettle, trying to get it to work, and wondered how I got there? Comical in one way but scary in another.

The snotty one was drilling when I got back to the computer, but it was still dour progress. Herbert kept the noise to short bursts, intentional or not; I appreciated that.

I went onto the balcony to take a photo of the end car park and decided not to bother. This is the only photo I could get onto the computer of the holes and cracks in the balcony roof joints.

Ups and downs today! I spent hours more blogging and was beginning to enjoy it a bit more when for some inexplicable but heaven-sent reason, the Neurotransmitters made contact with the brain! And stayed that way for about an hour; it was utter bliss! It couldn’t last I realised that, but it was so nice to type and know when the finger ends made contact with every button I hit on the keyboard.

The evening carer is due shortly; it’s that late! So, I’ll get some fodder sorted out… Oh, better do the belated Heath Checks first.

Here we go. Oh, heckithump! SYS 164 DIA 66, Temp 34.1°c.

Then, Little Inchies fungal lesion just started bleeding without anything happening to cause it, as far as I know. I suppose I could have knocked it during a mind-blank, but no, it would have bled then, not now hours later? Also, pain when I cleaned things up and applied the Daktacort ointment. I cringed a little and may have uttered something along the lines of “Oh, heck, that stung a bit!” Ahem! Confusion Conrad joins us!

I made up an evening meal, but not what I planned to make. All four foods were excellent and tasty. The garden peas, the yellow tomatoes, the ready-cooked smoked bacon, and above all, the Cheesy-Twists, tasted heavenly! They had been overcooked, with hard crispy edges on them both, but that is how I like them! Ah, well, I ate it all up.

Evening Carer Valerie arrived, as I was just finishing the nosh off. It was all guesswork as to what she said; the gal has a low voice for hearing, bless her. I offered her a choice of nibble or drink in thanks. She took a handful. Hahaha! Valerie took the black waste bag with her to the chute for me. ♥

I finished off the meal, washed up, and settled down in search of Sweet Morpheus, that’d have been around 19:00hrs. At midnight, I was still battling the infamously, sleep-destroying, pestering Thought-Storms. Gragnangles!

Inchcock Today: Friday & Saturday

Frustrating Friday & Super Saturday

Ode wot I wrote on Saturday

What bits I can remember,
Are we still in December?
I’m feeling slow and dumber…
Indeed, the body is getting plumper…

I’m out of my comfort zone…
Yet, to joyfulness, I’m prone?
Nowt’s changed, still home alone?
Gone deaf, can’t hear the phone!
Eyesight bad, moan, moan, moan!
Can it be due to my testosterone?
The computer is like a battle zone!
And I can’t find my mobile phone!

I still feel unbothered, most macabre?
Constantly talking to myself, jibber-jabber!
Had no drink, I should be sober!
Memory Maureen failing… whencever,
Is it the Hemp, Simvastatin, whatever?

I spent 8+ hours on the snippet blog new,
Endless mistakes, all needing a review…
The night Carer arrived, she had the blues…
I’d not planned food… sausage or a stew?
Still upbeat… I asked her for a pas de deux!
She replied: ‘You know what you can do!”

I finished the new blog; it was mostly crime…
Then again, Nottingham’s news is all the time!
Got a meal late, morning time, but that’s fine!
Got around to doing this blog’s design…
The notepad… I just couldn’t find!

Saturday
I can only blame Dementia Doreen…
Cocking things up, behind the scene…
The computers got a wobbly screen!
Cartilage Cathies pain… I want to scream…
Yet things are going like a dream?
Well, no! So many cock-ups, unforeseen,
Dropped and broke, my little green tureen!
New pains arrive around the spleen…
Laundry returned, more creased than it’s ever been!
Yet I’m singing to myself? It’s almost obscene!
Cataracts! I can hardly see the flatscreen!
I’m losing it… is life just a smokescreen?
I was unbothered, almost contented, serene?
I’m as lackadaisical as a circumforanean…
I’m clinging onto semi-sanity, it would seem?
I blame Dementia Doreen, I deem!

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Friday

What Bits I Can Recall

Well, I’ve found page one of the reminder notes. I’m so unbothered at the moment, still don’t know why I feel this way or how long it will be before the Dracula Depression returns. What’s going on here? Have I been given a ‘Happy Pill’ or something? It seems yesterdays ‘Couldn’t-care-less’ scenario is still with me?

The ghosts, wraiths, spectres, apparitions, and other grotesqueries haunt the hallways and lobbies. Worry and confuse me! Searching for Inchcock, to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare… No, it’ll be down to Doreen’s Dementia! I can only put it down to the mysteries of Winwood Heights.

Luckily, I’d been taking many photographs, and even luckier, I managed after a frustrating battle with the computer’s SD card reader and got them loaded to use here. Although some of them I can’t remember taking.

That’s another thing, why am I not bothered about this! Surely I should be?

This is not, or is it, from Friday cause I seem to recall that the red van-man was parked back in his favourite illegal position on the chevrons? A good start, that is! Hey-Ho! I vaguely remember going onto the balcony to take this photograph, obviously using the Fuji camera, because of its shape, of the end car park… but no, on second thoughts, another cock-up I’ve made.

Not sure as to why I took this shot of the computer desk in the dark. I know I was having troubles uploading the photos, and the icons had all changed size of their own accord? Harrumphs!

Annoyingly and frustratingly, I’d mentioned much in the notes I found to trigger any memories. Tsk! Total blank, but I’m sure it was Helen! I think it was Carer Helen who called in the morning.

I think I got the icons back up, but not to what size they were; they are mentioned in the notes. As if the farce with trying to get the photos loaded from the card, and my giving up on the job. (I tried again in the morning and got the on! Yee-Haa! There was a lot of scribble concerning me making tea and dropping the mug, but catching it before it hit the floor and getting my fingers scolded a little. Hehe! I wondered why they hurt a smidgeon this morning; now I know.

I took a shot of the morning skyline, and, according to the notes, I thought it was beautiful despite the gag colouring?

The more exciting thing was as I was closing the window’s door, I inadvertently caught the button on the Fuji camera and took a shot through the bottom glass. Hahaha! It came out better than any photo taken.

A mention of kicking off early with the clattering and tap-tapping was read. How I could have heard it with the state of my era-holes is surprising. It must have been loud?

SYS 158, DIA 69, Pulse 95 and the body temperature was 34.5°c.

Made an order for J Sainsbury’s for next weekend. And ordered some t-shirts and something else… I’ll have a look to see what it was… Ah, pyjama bottoms.

Out of memory notes now. Good job too. I took some photos. I definitely can remember making up the Local News Snippets block; a scribble on the bottom of the one-sheet left indicated 8 hours, but carried onto the missing sheets; I think that is how long I was doing them!

I found another mystery photo I cannot recall taking, let alone why? However, the computer is not on. (See that? How quick I was to notice that? Hahaha!) It looks like it’s teatime ish, cause the lights going. It might have been when I gave up on blogging. Or not, maybe, perhaps, possibly…

I can recall a little later taking some pictures of the early sunsetting. Boy, did these take some sorting in the morning to get on here. However, just about worth the effort, although not brilliant at all. I think I took them over ten minutes while cooking the belated nosh.

Then eventually, I got the meal served up. It doesn’t look much appearance-wise, but I did enjoy this vegetarian effort for a change. Baked potatoes with butter, a leek onion and something else, I forget what it was now… ah, potato pie. Tomatoes and fresh garden peas. I can remember them cause I left them in the pan when I was about to start eating the meal. So went back and salvaged them. Put them on the plate and took this snap. Flavour Rating: 7.2/10, methinks.

As I went into the kitchenette to wash up, I was greeted by the now really beautiful sunsetting!

I hastened to get the Canon camera, and I returned to take these pictures of it.

Glad I caught this.

I washed the pots and stove and settled into the £300, second-hand, c1968, second-hand, c1968, Charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, haemorrhoid-testing, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner.

The Thought-Storm thundered into action as soon as I got my feet up. Yet whatever it was that was making so content and unannoyable today were still at it. And I just put the TV on to watch a murder documentary, and at first, no, the second set of averts… Zzz!

Saturday

Ode To The Saturday Blues

Enough of this mad scriptitation…
Nobody reads it much in the entire nation…
It’s turning me to zombification…
Though, I feel it is my vocation…
My mind’s losing its location…
Sometimes, it’s a mental violation,
Turning my brains into vegetation!
I’m going bonkers… I need no verification…
My sanity needs another health evaluation,
Mayhaps, a cannabis vaccination?
Or, a trip to the seaside, on vacation?
I really need a cataracts diagnostician…
Psychiatrist, urologist and an acoustician,
I’m in desperate need of a mortician,
Or someone to explain; mankind’s declension?
Oh! I need the Porcelain Thrones’ attention…

I woke with a double whammy of ailments; I think that’s what woke me up. Still, it made a nice change from being woken up by Arthur Itis, Cathy Cartilage, Anne Gyna or Duodenal Donald. And plus as well, they both claimed down within a few minutes! Oh, I forgot to tell what they were, Tsk!

I’d got the camera nearby, so I took a one-handed snap of it – Clever stuff! Well, alright, it wasn’t clever then! Hehehe! I’d got Colin Cramps distorting my right-hand something wicked.

Oh, Dearie me! The Blood Pressure was well up this morning. The body temperature was still low. SYS 169, Dia 73 and Pulse at 90. But was I bovvered? Nope! This feeling that lingering… it must be what it feels like when on dope? Har-Har!

I had three goes at stringing the ear-holes again today. But still used the olive oil in between. I fear it’s not helped an iota with the hearing, Tsk! Still, in the odd uncaring mood I’ve been in lately, it didn’t get to me?

He was on form today. Considering that there will have been many noises I didn’t hear, there were dozens of times I did hear him due to my wax build-up. He’s consistent; I’ll give him that. He’s also an

Carer Helen Did the morning call. Ah! I remember she’d brought the washed laundry back for me. I found it all screwed up again, crammed into the bag! I think I might as well ask cleaner Esther to do the washing; she folds the clothes for me, saves ironing, and uses the freshener and softener supplied. I’m not blaming Helen at all, whoever it was that took the washing out of the dryer, should be spoken to nicely, and asked if she could fold the clothes for me, in future, please. This still irritated me even in the odd uncaring mood I’ve been in lately.

I worked on this blog between wee-wees (Hahaha!)  I checked on the Amazon tracker to see if the hats and jammie-bottoms would be coming tomorrow, as it said on the site when I ordered them.

Bobble hats coming tomorrow, T-Shirts on the 9th or 20th, and the much-needed jammie-bottoms on Monday (the 7th, I think). Still, in the odd uncaring mood I’ve been in lately, it didn’t irk me?

Got some photos to upload, but many of them were not recognised by the card reader? Still, in the odd uncaring mood I’ve been in lately, it didn’t irk me?

Off to the Porcelain Throne. The past three days of rock-hard torpedoes have changed overnight to rock-hard peanuts in a melange of running liquid and mucus based discharge. Unbelievable! And it still hurt to pass that? Still, in the odd uncaring mood I’ve been in lately, it didn’t bother me.

My tea-belly had returned! Got the ‘Snippets’ blog finished off and posted it. Then worked on this double-diary blog for many hours; I just pressed on with it, continuing to make errors, mistakes and forever making a brew of Glengettie, Thompsons Punjana and Sainsbury’s Extra-Strong tea in that order throughout the rest of the day.

As it got nearer to 18:00hrs, I kept the curtains open so that in case the sunset was pretty again, I would get some photographs of it, again. Which I did! Hehe! And boy, was it gorgeous tonight!

Sunset

I took these pictures over about 15 minutes from the kitchenette window. Gorgeous!

I nipped into the wet room to get some more bleach for when I’d made a mess cooking the meal later…

Boy, did I clout Cathy Cartilages’ knee on the doorframe, coming out… Yes, I did! It hurt! A suitable synonym would be ‘ARGH! I thought I’d seek some sympathy from the ladies out there, so I took a photo of the offending knee cap, intending to inspire compassion from the ladies, but it came out wrong. I expected the picture to show how painful, swollen and bruised the knee looked… But, No! Despite the agony, I can’t see any damage to it at all? Another plan foiled… Haha! Still, in the odd uncaring mood I’ve been in lately, it didn’t agitate me?

I’d forgotten about the evening Carers’ visit. Whatta-plonka! Time to get the fodder sorted, I thought.

♫ The Oh, Susan ♫ tune chimed out, and in walked my evening Carer. It was Chloe. I knew what her name was, the very moment she answered me when I asked her what it was. Ahem! I meant to ask her if I could take her picture to use on the blog, but puddle-brain here forgot to! She was a pleasant gal, not pushy, and after sorting the medications out, she gave me a minute or two natterings. Treats were chosen, and off Chloe went, taking the waste bag with her to the chute; I thank you! A Sociable Carer like Chloe is always welcomed. Bless her.

Worked on the blog, then got the nosh sorted out. Cut up a selection of orange, yellow and black Natoora tomatoes and got some of the Squid (anchovy) vinegar on them; I wasn’t sparing!

End up with this meal served up. Potato cakes (Seasoned), fresh garden peas, tomatoes and a beef pastie. I got tucked into it but did not enjoy it as I should have. I may have been a little too tired?

Gone midnight again before I got my head down, and the jumping awakes were back with me. Grumph!

Good Evening!

Inchcock

Inchcock Today: Thursday Theatrics

Thursday Theatrics

Morning Thoughts In Ode

For joy or success, I can only pray…
After the daymare, called Wednesday,
It all went ape-shit after midday,
Full of decay, disarray, and dismay,
But it is, after all, now a Thursday…
I expect sorrow or deprecation, alackaday!

But, I must not look at it this way…
These feelings of depression, I must allay!
Ignore my Thought Storms who bring banality…
But failure, for me, is an inevitability…
An ageing body that can’t cope with a Segway,
Dementia Doreen, who stealing my logicality…
Cruelly toying with my already befuddled memory…

Kathleen Cataracts, Deaf Donald, annoy me,
As does Arthur Itis and Cartilage Cathy…
Then there’s the danger of Peripheral Neuropathy!
Which is worse? Thought-Storms that gives no leeway…
Always brain-rattling, confusing me… it never goes away…

Or my physical ailments, though not so bad today…
Some pains so bad, they can leave me delusory…
I even limp and fall over, somnambulistically!
The falls were possibly caused clinicopathologically…
No idea what that means; I dropped it in casually!

Well, that’s got the bad stuff out of the way…
It could be a better day? Conceptualistically,
Then again, it could go badly, confrontationally?
I hope conversationally, or even convivially!
Depressive, error-ridden, painful, or distastefully,
If so, the day will go conventionally!

What a wet, embarrassing start to the day! I would guesstimate that from waking and getting to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket), it would have been about a minute or so, although it felt like half an hour. And still, I didn’t make it in time! Shame, despondency, self-loathing, and the ignominy of it at my age… Weeing one’s Protection Pants! Still, they did the job, but unfortunately, I have little feeling when passing water nowadays and pulled Little Inchie out before he’d run his course… So, the second job of the day was cleaning up and sanitising, then a change of pantaloons, washing myself thoroughly, and getting the socks, jammie-bottoms and jumper in the bowl soaking in Dettol. Well, that wasn’t planned!

I tried to upload the photos, but the computer wasn’t having it. So, there may not be any of today’s pictures on here at all! I can clip stuff from the web, copy & paste them into CorelDraw and get some things on that way. Use old photos… but not import any at all! Gragnangles!

Now I should have been in a Dracula Depression over this, but I had no idea why; maybe the embarrassing event when wee-weeing had overridden… What am I talking about?

I got the blood pressure and the temperature taken. I didn’t bother taking any pictures. I felt it would be a waste of time. The SYS 158, DIA 69 and temperature 34.8°c, seemed okay.

The annoyance of not being able to use the photos I’d taken started to irk me badly now! I pressed on finishing yesterday’s blog and got it posted off. Then went on the WordPress Reader and Comments.

I took a photo of the end car park and a couple of the Ocado delivery, don’t know if I’ll be able to get them on later.

The Ocado delivery arrived, the driver put the bags through the door into the hall for me; thank you! As I was taking the bags through to the kitchen, ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ announced the arrival of Carer Richard. ho checked the use-by dates on the delivery and what I had left in the fridge; a few items had to be dished! Good of him, cause with Cataract Kathleen, Glaucoma Glenda and Sandra Saccades, there is no way I could read the dates on some of the packets! Thanks, Richard, me old flower!

There were some things that I could not recall ordering and certainly didn’t want or need in the Ocado order. Either substituted or ordered in error by me – which is more likely. So it was like a shopping trip for Richard; I kept asking him he fancied this and that, Hehe! Got medications sorted out, and we had a chinwag and laugh for a couple of minutes. Then he had to go; he was beginning to look wearier as time went by, which is not surprising as he’d just finished his night shift. He took the waste bag with him to the chute for me, Jolly decent chap!

An hour or so on the blogging, it was slow going again, but that will be the norm from now on, methinks. Then… off to the wet room… to make us of the Porcelain Throne; another bad one.

Med Dioctyl AI took a Dioctyl (Poo-softener) capsule again. Getting things moving took a while and a lot of painful effort. I’ve not had to apply so much pressure for such a long time in years. All the way through as well! Still, to my surprise, there were only specs of blood. And the innards soon settled down again.

Hehe! I’d been that long on the Throne; my tea had gone cold. Made another and started this blog going.

Ah, I suddenly realised that there had been no noise coming from Herbert this morning? I hope he’s not well and had an accident.

I checked on the Amazon Deliveries, one today, one tomorrow. Shame they were not both on the same day. Hello, that’s the third change of ETA! Not that it matters, really. It’s just the thought of it coming late in the night and my having to stay awake to receive it that bothers me. Also, will the delivery person leave it in the reception foyer or bring it up to the flat? Mmm? Or… is it a ploy to have them both delivered on Saturday? Which would suit me; it’s just not knowing.

Ah, Herbert is back at doing what he does best (apart from sneering at and ignoring me when he sees me, Haha), Clunking, tap-tapping. But it didn’t last for long. Hehehe! He’s losing his annoyance Defcon 2 label here.

I tried to get the photos onto the computer again. Much to my amazement, the reader let me load some, not all of them, but still. Here’s last night’s super-supper. Which went down superbly, even if it was eaten after midnight! I burnt the potato waffles to perfection for my tastes. The beef, potatoes, cheese, and bean pasties were a delight and tasted. The mini tomatoes, red, yellow and green, were smashing! Which leaves only the mushrooms… Oh, dear, not good, I ate only one of them! Someone mystery person, whoever it was, told me to try wine vinegar with this fungi, so I did! Sickly sweet they tasted. Which kept the Flavour Score down to 8/10.

The end of Citrus Walk photo was… no, no, Chestnut Way, showing Red Van man parked back in his favourite position, on the yellow no-parking chevrons on the roadway. Not that it would bother him, I’m sure. Potentially blocking any Fire Engines from turning to get to the flats. Whoever he is.

A photograph of the Ocado carrier bags that were delivered this morning.

Hello, he’s off again! Bang, tap scrape, thud! Another short-burst. Thanks, Herbert!

The fridge was looking under-filled compared to usual after a delivery? Mind you, a fair bit of stuff was found out of date by Carer Richard this morning, and I gave him five items that had been sent, mysteriously… Well, I can’t recall ordering them. Tsk! Bonkersness comes in many forms… usually prompted by Vascular Dementia, Doreen, nowadays.

Ah, well, time to get the shaving, medicating and showering done. I thought I’d check on the Amazon tracker first…

Well, the Amazon delivery is just 6 stops away if the tracker is right! He’s got a lot of side streets to get his way through, so I’ll delay the ablutionalisationing until he’s been. Hello, Five stops away now. Exciting this is, innit? Well, not really, so fair enough!) I’m easy to entertain, ain’t I? Hehehe!

It’s still coming, but further away now? It’s all new to me this tracking lark.

Har-har! 2 Stops away now! I’m enjoying this; keep going to the tracker page and taking a shot of the map. As I say, I’m easily pleased.

I’m the next stop now…

Technology has always fascinated me… it’s a shame I was never clever enough to understand it, really.

Gorrit! A bit of an anti-climax! Hahaha!

I made a vegetarian feast tonight. A Bean & cheese flaky pastry pastie. fresh garden peas, honeyed parsnips, ready-prepared M&S Parmentier Potatoes – Diced British potatoes coated in shallot and garlic butter and sprinkled with thyme. (Boy, they were good!), with yellow, black & red tomatoes. Followed by a lemon mousse and a lime & lemon dessert. Taste rating: 9.2/10! It was worth the time to prepare and cook and the effort and time to clean up the mess I made afterwards. It cost a fortune as well! Lovely! I slowly digested every morsel, like a gastronomer.

Put teethings away after washing up, and got down in the rickety recliner, and off into the wonderful land of nod!

Carer Elena♫ Oh, Susana ♫ played from the door chime, and in walked Carer Elena. She soon sorted the medications out for me. I was having difficulty in hearing what she was saying with the ear wax blocking my hearing and the mask she was wearing. So despite her many patients, accommodating, asked-for saying it again… I had to guess what the Angel said, half of the time. But she left happily enough, taking the waste bag with her to the chute for me. 💙

I had a wash (I do that sometimes, you know), and got the bamboo socks on, and I got down in the recliner again.

Put the TV on… and fell into a wonderful four-hour visit with Sweet Morpheus… then woke up with the bigger jump! I had no idea why… But I thought I’ll have to get up to have a look around to make sure all is well in the Inchcock flatlet… But no! I involuntarily nodded off again instead.

 

Inchcock Today: 28th February 2022 with Odes

I woke very late, Carer due, logicality was absent,
Slowly the brain cleared of the confusion and addlement,
I worked out I’d slept for six hours, to my astonishment,
I seemed to have a decent, calm, unruffled temperament,
Yet despite the wonderfully sleeping so well, erubescent,
I felt so tired, weary, it made me think belligerent…
First decent sleep for ages, I should have been verklempt?
The Thought Storms started, they were soon unblent…
As off to the Porcelain Throne, I hurriedly went!

MONDAY 28th FEBRUARY 2022

I stirred, without any jumping awake, around 0640hrs, had the Carer been on time, they’d have found snoring away. Hahaha!

I worked out that I’d been in the arms of Sweet Morpheus for about six hours! Fought off the Thought-Storms, with the aid of needing to use the Porcelain Throne.

I rose up onto my aching for some reason feet and found that Cartilage Cathy had departed from the right knee – which of course should have given me some glee, but, you see… Arthur Itis had returned with a vengeance in both knees! So, hobbling about is going to be a smidge painful today. Methinks.

CW05I wobbled my way to the wet room, sat, and waited… waited some more. Got the crossword book out. Then, still awaiting the commencement of any evacuation movement, I counted the veins on my right thigh. Back to the crossword puzzle, solved about three or four more clues, actually. Not the time for any Smug-Moding. Still not a sign of any rear-end activity!

I knew this was going to hurt, but I had to apply maximum pushing level from within to move the product, which at first came out a smidge, then froze again. I kept giving it some effort, painfully, but it was still a while before things restarted? I began to fear what this was doing to Haemorrhoid Harold. How much blood is already beneath me in the porcelain? The last bit took the monumental endeavour, and I kid you not, had tears forming.

As I stood gingerly up and turned to investigate the contents of the WC… No blood whatsoever! The concrete-like turds had somehow all sank? Only the pain remained. But it was subsiding all the time. It eased more rapidly after I’d cleaned things up and applied the precious Germoloids ointment to the rear end. For some MedPhorpainreason, I felt I could so easily get back in the recliner and back to sleep. And wanted to! Then I liberally applied the Phorpain Gel to both Arthur Itis’s knees and gave it a good rubbing in! Put a dab of Germolene on the arm where I walked into the doorframe yesterday. I didn’t mean to! Hehe! It’s surprising how a nothing bruise like that can hurt? Not that I’m complaining, after the Porcelain Session agony. Even I’ve got to laugh!

Got the computer on, and ♫ Of Susana ♫ rang out. It was the Carer Richard arriving. A good lad, who’s been down a little lately, but I can report that he was his old self again this morning! I don’t mind him coming later cause if I am the last call, we usually have a natter after the medications and Alarm wristlet battery checks. I took an anti-Constipation-Konrad capsule and a Docusate sachet drink. I don’t fancy going through that again on the next visit to the Porcelain Throne! There must be people out there that when they need a crap, just go and do it! Painlessly! I have things swapping twixt the extremes every day or so. Constipation Konrad and Trotsky Terence are on a daily challenge to control the bowels! Passing things pain-free would be great for me… but I’m not jealous! Hehehe!

I pressed on with yesterday’s blog and got it posted off.

With getting up so late, the day has vanished before my eyes… it’s flashing by, and such a lot to do yet…

The shower, shaving and Teggie-cleaning, apart from hitting my head on the power-box once again, went very well.

Getting dressed went okay, but the medicationalisationing had its moments of farce. I ended up with

I checked on the end car park… No, the photograph has not been doctored! It really is the red van’s man’s car, parked between the lines, and in the car park, as opposed to his usual blocking the entry/exit on the chevron lines. I wanted to congratulate him, but of course, being whoever he is, he’s parked in the Contractors Only Parking Space. Hahaha! But at least he’s found his way into the car park and not blocking things, so. Well done, mush!

Hello, the intercom is flashing? It was the Wilko delivery. ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ was chiming out from the doorbell when the driveress arrived. A helpful gal, who took the boxes into the kitchen and checked the number of items, blessed her cotton socks. I am a little concerned about the size of the box containing the Air-Cooker. I thought I’d ordered the smallest one? I’m going to struggle to get that on the minimal space available in the kitchenette? Oh, dearie me! It may have to be given away or sold to someone with more room? Still, Carer Richard is calling another da this week, and he has one. In fact, he encouraged me to get one. So, I’ll ask him to open the box to set it up when he calls, or if he hasn’t the time, I’ll ask him to put it in the other room for me, it’s blinking heavy, so it must be a big one… Tsk! I must get something right one day!

I went on Facebooking next to catch up again. Then WP reading. Then comments.

Carer Irana… Iyrana, Irayna… can’t remember her name now… Tsk! I’ll ask the morning Carer. Pretty young thing. We chatted throughout, had a laugh and shared quips. Gave her the blog name. Nice gal, soon had me sorted with the medications. In the A.M., Richard found the new sweet Carer gals name was Isra!

Sorted a meal out. (The photos on the SD would not load again) Baked potatoes, sausages and BBQ sauce. Taste: 7.2/10.

Watched some TV and found myself nodding off, so I gave up and got my head down, about midnight.

Ode to an Odd Day…

At times it went rather abysmally…
With the rare usual periods, delusionally,
Moments of it going fantastically…
Mostly though, sort of confusionally!
More than usual, of the farcically!

The Porcelain Throne session, agonistically!
The brain mainly operated dysfunctionally,
But deliveries, Carers were a joy, actually…
The ablutions were unconditional agony,
Constipation Konrad in control, evilly!

Peripheral Pete was acting erratically,
Shakings, shuddering, running free!
The Thought-Storm attacks, aberrantly,
All of these, scary or ambiguously…
Oh, I did sleep well nocturnally!

Carers Richard & Isra were friendly and chatty,
I love a chinwag, someone to talk with me…
Others too natter, Julia, Elena and Charley,
I’ll press on now, somewhat melancholically…
I’ve had days that went more maniacally,
It was also a bad day, neurophysiologically!

It’s Tuesday now…

It’s Tuesday now, March… and I feel garrulous!
My judging the proximity of stuff circumforaneous,
Everything around me seems dimorphous…
Knowing which is which can be vexatious,
Now I’ve gone and got tinnitus!

Poor old sausage! Hehehe!