Queens Medical Centre

Inchcock Today: Mon/Tue 8/9thSept 2014

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Mon001Top

Monday 8th September 2014

Up at 0500hrs. WC.

I’ve arranged for me deliveries to arrive today. Morrison’s and Asda nosh, and me toaster via Yodel.

ETAs given:

Asda nosh 0600>0800hrs

Morrison’s 0900> 1000hrs

Yodel 1100>1300hrs

If they all come at the agreed times I can still get then to me Warfarin level tests this afternoon, otherwise if any one of them is late, I’ll end up with two tests tomorrow at the hospital and the laundry to do. (We’ll see how me luck runs)

Made a cuppa, took med’s…

WC.

Started laptop, did graphics and finished posts.

I got loads done and posted, and had to wait at the window for me deliveries.

Asda nosh 0600>0800hrs – Arrived 0705hrs

Morrison’s 0900> 1000hrs – Arrived 1000hrs

Yodel 1100>1300hrs – Arrived 1919hrs

WC.

I was late with me evening medications. ‘cause I was waiting to the Yodel delivery that came – and I was late with taking me evening medications.

Ah well, I’ll go and get me tests done tomorrow then…

Tuesday 8th September 2014

Up at 0500hrs.

WC.

Blood cleaned up.

Came down and found I’d left the front door unlocked overnight, Tsk!

Started laptop, did a bit of WordPress viewing – Totally forgot about my laundry, made a cuppa and took me medications.

WC.

Got  the nurses treats and forms filled in ready for the INR tests, got missen prettied up (Mammoth daily task that) shaved and washed.

Set off to the bus stop, and caught bus into town. Called in Tesco and got some cream cakes for the gals in haematology, then caught bus out to the QMC hospital.

Mon01busFinished off me Eric Morecombe book en route, I’ll take that with me other bits to the Nottingham Hospice shop tomorrow (Said him fully confident that he’ll remember).

I took photo of the bus when I got off of it. A Mercedes bus, private company but I’m allowed to use me bus-pass on em.

Mon02aWhen I got to the Queens Medical Centre entrance, I was greeted with about a hundred people waiting outside, ‘cause the fire alarm had been activated. Yet through the window I could see dozens of people noshing away in the cafeteria… well they don’t call them that nowadays do they now it’s a Coffee shop, where you can take out a mortgage and buy a cup of fancy Mon02qmccoffee.

We were soon admitted, and I picked up the free Metro en route to the Haematology dept for me tests, took a ticket and sat awaiting me number to be called.

I got in, and the nurses were tickled pink with their cream cakes and nibbles.

Being as I’d caught the buses to get there, I decided to take a walk back into town to keep the knees oiled like.

Mon03MercAs I passed the old entrance gate to Wollaton Park, I noticed it was now occupied by the Mercedes, sad that.

Further down Derby Road on me hike, I saw the Rose & Crown public house had been done-up. Thought it looked so nice, I took a photo of it.

I limped on, and when I passed Mon04RoseCanning Circus, I took a different route through the (Privately owned and ran ‘Park’ area), that I thought would bring me out near the Audio centre I use.

It didn’t.

I eventually came out on Maid Marion Way, which suited me better, because I was going to the Chinese shop to get some veg-meat snacks. Which I did.

Walked down through the town centre, not many folk about today.

Mon05apubAs I passed a pub on me way to catch a bus to Fulton’s in Arnold to get some more microwave sausage, I saw through the open doorway, two deadly Mobility Scooters, with the drivers downing the plonk on the seats next to them. Scares me you know, these scooters, well the drivers if em. No law saying they need to take a test, or have insurance. This made me wonder about drink driving on a Mobility Scooter? I shuddered”

Mon6aScootCaught the bus to Arnold, and popped into Fulton’s, where I managed to get some sausages and lollies.

I crossed the road, and waited at the bus stop. I’d put me bags on the floor to sort out me bus-pass, and a Mobility scooter driving lunatic drove over one of me bags! She just carried on as if nothing had happened. I whipped out me camera and took a snap.

Caught the bus home, by which time I was shattered and weary.

Got me head down to try and sleep, but…

Inchcock Gets Letter of Support from the Hospital

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GC corner3jpegI received a wonderful letter of support today, from me hospital physiatrist bloke.

Here it is:

Dear Mr Inchcock,

Some well intended advice for you here from my team at the Queen’s Medical Centre Sir.

Please check before leaving home to come to the hospital:

Hosp04aHave you taken your morning medications, and applied the creams and antiseptics?

Are you wearing your outdoor clothing and not your pyjamas and or slippers?

Have you got your glasses on, and reading glasses with you?

Your bus-pass, hearing aids in and, mobile phone with you?

Have you your Medical declaration card in the event of an emergency?

Your medications pen, crossword and current reading book?

Have you applied the prescribed medicinal creams to your hands, knees and lower regions?

Can you remember where you’re supposed to be going and why?

Have you forgotten any other appointments for today that you might have made earlier with your GP, chemist, Audio clinic, Housing benefits office, Haematology dep’t etc?

If you are walking to the QMC today, please take you umbrella with you. If going by public transport, as we reminded you earlier, please take you bus-pass with you, and remember to check if it is out of date first.

Can you remember the number of the buses and where they go that you are going to use today?

Try not to fall asleep on the bus again.

Do try to keep an eye out for Mobility Scooters Mr Inchcock, as you are currently costing the NHS a lot of money in being treated medically after your recent incidents of your being ran into and knocked over by them.

It has been brought to my notice from various department heads that you keep wandering off during treatment, and getting yourself lost.

The QMC is a very large place, and finding you at times can be a bit of a problem (Repeatedly for us).

Having called a meeting to try and solve this issue. Many ideas were put forward and suggested.

* Inserting a bleeper in your body, is still being discussed – with you being deaf, we realise we would need an extra loud one, and that might scare other patients who are in the locality you have absconded and found yourself in.

* We considered giving you a Satellite navigation system of the QMC, but the cost Hosp03was too prohibitive.

* Handcuffing you seemed a little harsh, although the concept has been put on a back burner in the event of any other agreed plan failing.

* Those who suffer most, the Haematology INR testing team, who have to cope with you at least once a week suggested: That we purchase a hat, with a flashing light and sign around your neck saying “Please return this patient to the Hosp04Blood Taking Room ASAP” This notion found some merit with the others. They added that blinkers on you might help you not to lose your concentration and wander off looking at anything that sparkles. The Rheumatology Team added to the suggestion, that perhaps we could leave a section of the sign blank then, whichever department is currently dealing with you at the time, could write their department in the space. This idea, I could see, was getting a great deal of acceptance to all at the meeting.

Hosp02sign* The Maintenance crew at the meeting (Those who have to clean and clear up after your little escapades, collisions with Mobility Scooters, getting lost and going in the wrong departments, going into wards and climbing into bed with other patients and eating their food etc) then came up with the best idea yet, and the one which we have adopted for you.

They said they would build a sign especially for you, and erect it at the north entrance (That you use when you get off the bus) of the hospital. We set about deciding to put only the essential and Juan Inchcock applicable details on the sign.

Please find a graphic of the sign below, that is to be ready and on show within two day, well before your next arranged appointment.

We all would appreciate it if you would take the effort to read and digest the information we have provided on it.

The nurses at the Haematology Department have asked me to mention to you, could you please avoid eating any brussel sprouts, curries, baked beans, broccoli, onions or prunes before your appointment please.

HospbottomYours

Dr Vladimir Goebbels

Queens Medical Centre

Venerable Mature Psychiatric Patients Support Group.

Inchcock’s True Tales of Woe: Part25 Twenty feet below Prince Charles in hospital

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Twenty feet below Prince Charles, in the QMC Hospital, Nottingham

Medicated

Inchcock listening to Radio 4 Extra

 I was, lying in a bed in the busy Ward E19 in the Queens Medical Centre, just after having had surgery, to repair a hernia, and treat prostate cancer. I was listening to the radio.

Tubes were extruding from various regions of body.

Particularly cumbersome was the drainage tube from my ‘Inch’, which at that time the bruising had swelled to such a degree I would have been happy to put up with if only it would have stayed that size.

For the life of me I can’t understand how they managed to get a camera and lazer down their!

W25 Charles1

Prince Charles, who had the Ward above to himself, with two nurses and a Sister in attendance 24 hours a day – with me 20 feet below in Ward E19, who couldn’t get a bed pan! Bothered, jealous… me?

On the floor directly above the ward, was the ward where that Prince Charles had to himself, and two nurses, and a Sister in attendance 24 hours a day, to have his tennis elbow looked at.

I was lying in extreme physical stress below, pressing the button for twenty minutes to get a bedpan! Then stuggle down the ward with me attachments hanging, to find that that WC was occupied! More later on that one.

The talk of the ward was the imminent arrival of Princess Diana to visit Prince Charles.

As I lay painfully awaiting another bedpan, the staff and patients were more interested in seeing ‘Lady Di’.

A student nurse arrived at my bedside and nervously informed me she had come to remove one of the drainage tubes, the tube from my little used, lesser endowed lonely lower regions.

She set about trying to release the valve to drain the air from it, she was so nervous (not her fault) the more she shook the pain increased – I was about to say something about this, when a great whoops and shouts of “Look it’s LadyPrincess Die” came from those who were looking out of the window down to the ground level outside, and there was a massive surge of staff and mobile patients to the East windows – indeed I feared the building might topple!

GCpoorly

Inchcock – Worried, embarrassed or what?

Unfortunately, and unforgettably my student nurse was amongst those Royalists so keen to see her, and as she ran to the window to join the others, she took the tube with her, leaving me in great pain, and covered in blood and urine!

Afterwards, when she realised what she’d done, the poor thing burst into tears, and begged to be forgiven. Some ‘fully trained’ nurses appeared, and sent for a doctor, who arranged for me to have some X-rays, and I was transported to the radiology department, where I spent a good two hours in a draughty corridor waiting to be seen to.

When I was eventually returned to the ward, I’d missed the meal, and still wanted to use the bedpan!

I climbed into the bed, the nurse reminding me drink plenty of water all the time to get my bladder working.

I got my book out to read, by the time I’d read a chapter, I felt a warm wet sensation appeared between my legs. A quick peep, and the blood all over me and the bed, I pressed me red button, and eventually someone arrived – and boy did I get a rollicking off of ‘em for making a mess.

They grumpily cleaned up the bed and me, and almost threw me back into the newly cleaned bed.

W25 Charles1

Oh dear…

After a few beakers of water were imbibed, I felt the need for the WC – I hobbled painfully trying to stop any leaks, to the WC, it took ages. Unfortunately it was occupied.

I limped walking painfully cross legged to the one at the other end of the ward… it was torture really. As I got in front of the bowl, boy did me bladder release its contents. It was like a fire hose, painfully belting out and hitting the wall behind the WC, and rebounding back at me, covering me in blood, and leaving an outline of my body on the wall behind me!

Embarrassed, oh so embarrassed, I tried to clean some of it up with toilet paper, both rolls were used up in minutes.

By then, they had missed me cause it was time for me medications, and a nurse opened the door and said: “Are you in there Mr … oh good heavens!

I was again cleaned up, and lodged beck into the bed.

W25 Charles1

Inchcock was in great fear!

I thought the rollicking I got last time was fierce, but this one made me cringe.

I remember thinking at the time:

“I do so hope that Prince Charles’s tennis elbow was getting better, and he enjoyed his wife’s visit!”

Inchcock Today: 5th Aug 2014

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Continuing from 1830hrs Monday 4th August 2014:

IT 01

I was just about to ring Brother in law Pete, and he rang me. Hope to meet him tomorrow after the medical treatment. Must ask him to take some photo’s.

Had a nosh of microwave chips, Krakowski and seaweed, and a bag of Quavers, followed by two orange lollies. (How’s that for two fingers to the ‘Eat Properly brigade?)

IT 01I watched the DVD of Dick Emery’s film; “Oh you are awful!” So politically incorrect, but hilarious!

The nights limited amount of sleep was again nightmare ridden, but again, I can remember nothing of them, other than they were scary and worrying. Each time I got up to relief myself (At least ten times!) I’d remember a bit of them and tell myself to remember so as to report here on me blog… but no.

I’m hoping I’ll be able to get to the hospital tomorrow, without my minimal bladder being tested, crossed fingers.

Tuesday 5th August:

Up at 0500 hrs, laptop on to start this tosh, cuppa and took medications.

0600 hrs, failed to get on wordpress.com, getting a part view of the screen that’s all. Tried email and other sites, they seem okay. Seems they are having technical troubles of some sort? Hope it gets sorted for when I get back from the hospital, otherwise I might crack-up altogether if I can’t blog… oh dear!

Oh, it’s alright now? Good!

Hello, I’ve lost me top options now… might be my old laptop? Still I managed to post me latest sad effort. Must get on with creating graphics for me next one (Head down, concentration mode engages, passes wind, visits the WC…)

BT internet returned as I was giving up, to get things ready for QMC.

Set off, called at doctors to request an extra prescription for painkillers and emolument cream, then caught bus to town, then bus to hospital.

Warfarin tests first, then on to Renal for results. Seems pyelonephritis infection, they said normally they would prescribe antibiotics, but due to the amount of medications I’m on, they made appointment for me to see my GP to talk things through first. Thursday at 0915hrs.

Feeling tired and drained for some reason.

I Caught bus to Bulwell to look in the cheapo shop, nowt in worth while though.

Rang brother in law Pete, and he’s had his lamp delivered, so would meet me at the hovel to collect the black bags for me.

IT 03Got home at 1346 hrs, internet connection not to bad. So I again tried to register to vote on the gov.com site. It’s still not letting me.

Pete arrived about 1420hrs. Good chinwag and he collected the bags.

When Pete went, I thought it best if I tried to get my head down, as I was still feeling drained. No such luck. Tried reading me book without success, then I watched three DVD’s. Eventually drifting off late on,  while I was in the middle of watching a Steven Seagal film.