SOSTH Spanish Onion Sized Testicle Henry

Inchy Today: Monday 12th May 2025

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

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In this Ode, I’ll not mention Starmer,
See that? I’m already a proven liar!
I’m not an activator, actuator or advocator,
Believing once Labour got in power…
It would be a poor man’s financial alleviator,
Not a disabled and pensioner aggravator!
Nor a doom and gloom annunciator,
Our future has never been bleaker,
I don’t trust the HMG, MP, PM or speaker,
Labour: experts in taking a backhander,
I could kick him up his detrusor…
Jinx or hex him; it’d be my pleasure!
My loathing gets ever deeper,
Keir’s decisions get even creepier,
Voters crumbling-hopes get damneder,
His clever use of semi-lies & implicature…
Prevents prosecution… he is a barrister!
Who freed child killers & an axe murderer,
He’s responsible for killing off many a pensioner,
Bankrupting the family farmer…
Feathering his own nest, a meshuggener?
The man is a nihilist, self-profit-seeking,
His expense claims: do they need questioning?
No doubt about it, he’s a naysayer,
He’s likely suffering from peniaphobia,
Scared to death of becoming a pauper,
With brain cells ever working, reticular,
I noticed he’s also a slangwhanger,
He’s earned an early sepulchre,
The slower & more painful, the better!
I may sound like a hard-done-to squaller,
These odes prove I’m a schlepper…
With Starmer being a snollygoster,
He commits crimes, lies & sclaunder…
He gets away with it; that’s spectacular!
That’s because he was a high-class lawyer,
The perfect con man & thimblerigger,
As a PM, naturally, he’s titular,
He got elected because he’s a liar,
Two-faced, deceitful, a conniver,
A guilty promise-breaker
An oathed decision reverser,
A farmer & pensioner depriver,
One other thing in particular,
He also got, is, uranomania!
Divinity? He believes it! Hehehe!
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05:20hrs: I shot out of bed and leapt over the second-hand shop bought nine years ago for £300, c1966, discomfiting, alarmingly beige-coloured, crumb-containing, TV remote hiding, not working recliner. Doing a backward summersault, landing face down, and after doing a few hundred press-ups… 
It’s no good; I’m such a terrible fibber!
I inched my legs off of the bed. The catheter contraption straps were painful this morning. I detached the nocturnal catheter bag and rose rather too quickly to get the cream and rub some on the leg straps on the leg. I fell backwards on the corner of the bed and felt bleeding.
So, with the bum and top of the leg bleeding, I hobbled into the kitchen to check the taps and stove initially. But I got sidetracked when I saw the amazingly clear sky. I got Kodak Tim Two and took this snap of the clouds. Then, I took another wider shot. The Sun was already beginning to come through from behind and causing a mist on the horison.

I went to the wet room, where I decided to tend to the mess before applying the barrier cream. I cleaned the few teeth I had left and used the mouthwash. I then realised I had not put in the hearing aids. So, I went to fetch and fit them to see if anyone should call early. With the hearing aids in, I heard a strange noise from the kitchen—a tinkling sound.
Yee Gods! The fourth time in three days! Grrr!
Luckily, it had not been running too long, and the hot water was still reasonably hot enough for me to get the shaving done.
Get ready for this, folks… Dang dang, dang, Dang!
Not a single nick, let alone cut shaving!  
A fair bit of medicationings was needed. But I’ve had worse, so no complaints.
Cleaned the glasses. Did a hearing aid battery check. Olive oiled the earholes. Dry eye spray was used. Then, the Blepharitis gel. Phorpain gelled both of Arthur Itis’s knees. Both cartilages, Chloe & Carole, are at the back of the knees. I barrier creamed my armpits, underneath my man breasts and groin, paying careful attention to SOSTH (Spanish Onion Sized Testicle Henry). Below my bulging belly, my still bleeding rear-end sternum. Germolened both ankle ulcers. Then, I got new straps onto the catheter contraption. Barrier creamed them before fitting. Then I tackled .
I’m using the new-to-me Terbinafine hydrochloride cream. I’m also applying the new dropper before the much-feared pain of rubbing it in  Med Hydr I can assure you that it was thrown in the waste bin! I’ll never use that again! I shall stick with Betamethasone in the future, even if I have to buy it. Too Painful? YES! This session took a long time to complete. Of course, getting the Protection Pants on was the usual farce. Do they make anything similar to the ones on the right here? It’s suitable that I should put him on the right. Because he’s the most Tory-like Labour Prime Minister ever! Hahaha!

As I noticed the Prison alarm was flashing last night, I didn’t expect to see it again this morning. I got Kodak Tim x2 and took this very poor close as I could get to it to take a snap of the Alarm Flashing (Escaped Prisoner). But it had stopped by the time I’d prattled about to get the shot. Just my luck not to have taken it earlier. Tsk!
Carer Ejaz arrived. Bless him.
I told them of whatever they were last night, which left me in a time-lapse, confused and nervous.
The lad listened. He then sorted out my NHS breakfast.
Then, Ejaz barrier-creamed where I could not reach, mainly my feet, ankles, and back. Next, he put my diabetic socks on my feet for me.
Then he did a quick hoovering around for me. Bless him.

I got tucked into creating today’s Anti-Starmer Ode.
I was about half an hour into it, and the intercom chimed out. It was Matron. She measured me up for the wheelchair setting up. Checked my BP returns, and I waffled on about last night’s time-warping and total confusion. She reminded me to make sure I got an appointment with the Doctor. I explained that only when the Carer is on a Wednesday and Joe is prepared to go with me. Joe will remember and explain things better than I could on my own.
I think other things were discussed. Yes, Matron Jackie will ask the Doctor if I can have an oxygen level monitor. I have no idea what that actually means. I’ll look it up on Mr. Google.

Back to the Ode writing.

A series of mini-seizures came over the next few hours. Kyboshed my creativity and concentration.

Carre Joe arrived. He thinks I may have been falling asleep, which is a possibility. However, I was getting many feelings of dizziness, and my eyes seemed foggy for a few minutes, which I usually put down to my coming out of a seizure. Who knows? Not me!

Carer Ejaz made the next call. Socks taken off. Medications were issued. We had a little natter, and he was in a rush but asked if he could take my photo with my sunglasses on. Well, ever the budding model, I agreed. A handsome-looking brute! Hahaha!

I showed my prepared-earlier nosh in the microwave pot. Ejaz took a photo of that as well! He shot off after that.

I got the Ode finished and into the blog.

I went to the kitchen to ensure I’d not left anything unsafe. I put the potatoes in the dish and put them into the microwave oven.

Boy, what a view I took in these snaps of the quickly disappearing Sun. Bootiful!

Amazing Night Glow!
Then, a closer shot.
I think the eyes of the Sun were
from some trees on the horizon.
GREAT!

It’s late now, and the spuds are in the oven. I’m giving up on the blog, but the meal tempts me!
The Morrisons bread rolls were tasteless and tough.
Everything else was gorgeous!

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Here’s a four-leaf clover
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Inchy Today: Wednesday 30th April 2025

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

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Our intentions may well be admirable,
But are they needed and desirable?
If they happen to be altruistical?
Are the benefits given physical or ethereal?
Endurable, sustaining or apothegmatical?
Will this incite the recipient to turn greedful?
I don’t want to appear hyperbolical,
After all, I’m fallible and infeasible,
Arguing over things, possibly mental,
fear of numbers, I love anything anecdotal,
Still working out the meaning of biopsychosocial,
Calculations and maths, to me, are cryptical,
Logic, commonsense, I often find chimerical.
Seizures can sometimes make me feel extrinsical,
Leaving me feeling depressed and inimicable,
Things I did 78 years ago are now unfathomable.
I’m not a part, essential, or even integral…
An unmoving nomad, innate, incognoscible, 
When Happy Horis visits, I get incorrigible…
If Depressing Duncan returns, then I feel terrible!
It’s only with me that I get argumental,
Obviously, we don’t need to go all aetiological,
It’s a practicality to be commonsensical,
Seek for the localised idiosyncratical,
Things may not become clear or irenical,
No need to search for the inexplicable,
Don’t spend valuable time on the impenetrable.
Remember, we are not powerful or juridical…
If baffled, then make yourself a foxhole.
Still don’t understand? That’s fantasmagorical,
Still struggling, I’ll write you another oracle!
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Another busy, confusing day for the old groat! 
Carer ‘Joe’ did two calls, and Carer Ejaz did the other two. Phone calls from Matron and Nurse June. Nurse Helen told me to make an appointment, as requested by the Doctor, to see her. I hope to get one for on Wednesday, then Carer ‘Joe’ can accompany me. Asked him to ring surgery tomorrow afternoon if he does the afternoon call tomorrow. 
Made a few cock-ups again. I believe it’s the arithmaphobia that caused most of them.
Ejaz took some snaps for me today of the outdoors. He noticed I’d got the micro-shakes. Bless him. 
Carer ‘Joe’ & Ejaz both helped me out last and this week. And with all the action from the medical front, you wouldn’t believe how appreciative I feel. Fair enough, I’m still with it enough to feel embarrassed at not being able to do things for myself. 
As I pointed out earlier, I believe the issue with the battery delivery and the microwave meal delivery was due to dates, times, and numbers. 
But were they? I think so; I experienced three waves of panic over the last two days as I misread or misunderstood the most straightforward advice and instructional details. Arithmaphobia?
I’ve been meaning to look up Ménière’s disease, the condition the nurse mentioned.
But have I done it yet? No!
To date, I have confirmed some appointments.
The four-wheeled walker is expected to arrive on Friday. Followed by a BRCCS Technician to sort it out and point out handling and safety features.
In abeyance, waiting for confirmation of the visit to the doctor next Wednesday or a later Wednesday so I can go with Carer ‘Joe’, who is aware of my actions and can explain things to me as they are.
On the 15th May. Nickie to do a walker assessment.
On the 23rd, Physio from Manuel.
Awaiting appointment for the Glaucoma lasering.
I’ve missed it on my calendar, but Nurse Caroline is coming to conduct the Pre-Morbid Cognitive Impairment assessment. Alternatively, I need to go to Nuthall Hospital to have it done. But when?
Nurse June rang, but I can’t remember what it was about. Thanks to a seizure, things did not register. At least, I think that’s why. Just photos from here on with what I can recall of them. The earlier ones hold a more explicit memory.

My morning shot before going to the wet room.

Things went okay, I think. One cut shaving
Medicating was easier this morning because I only had to do about half of them, and the intercom chimed out. Naturally, I went back into the wet room and continued dressing without medicating.

Carer Ejaz arrived. He barrier-creamed the ankles, which looked a little more likely to erupt into seeping from . Ejaz took some shots from the kitchen window for me.
Bluey blotches on this one?
Great shot, Ejaz!
Nice one. Is that smoke I see?

Blogging. It took me hours and hours, and I was still nowhere near catching up. Huh!

Mystery afternoon, and I don’t know why?

Ejaz evening call shots were taken for me.

I prepared a mixture of food and placed it in a microwavable container. Later, when I decided to add some mini-roast potatoes, there would be no room in the dish. So, while the spuds were cooking in the oven, I transferred the mix to a larger dish to use in the microwave. In the mixture went a can of vegetable curry, a ready meal of beef in black bean sauce, garden peas, water chestnuts, carrots and some extra Bisto gravy.
Lip-licking luxury!

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Have a Great Day!
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Inchy Today: Tuesday 29th April 2025

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

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Today, Three Nurses 
With one hearing aid battery being a no-go.
Communicating and hearing was like an echo,
5 hours of visits, blogging went on a furlough,
Lots not done. Showering I had to forego,
One nurse checked me from head to toe!
Nothing on underneath my Kimono,
She was kind enough not to laugh, though,
BP was taken, all good, bar my temp a bit low, 
All asked questions, a mental inferno,
Matron identified I’d now got impetigo,
One entered an area where few do go!
Appointments made to see a medico,
Arranged a visit from the Physio,
Neurology & Mental, I like it, I know…
Walker & wheelchair coming, out I can go!
Feeling cared about is totally Whack-O!
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WHAT A FLIPPING DAY
AGAIN!
A Quick rundown.
With the few photos taken interspersed.

Before the mayhem started
A six-rated night pouch.

Seconds after taking this snap, dizziness and a sudden loss of balance hit me. (No idea what brought it on) It was still with me when Carer Ejaz arrived. 
I tried to explain to him how I felt. I’m not sure if he understood me or if I comprehended what he was he was saying to me.
He’s a likeable lad, though. He got the prescription medications issued. Then, he fitted my diabetic socks. Ejaz rated the pouch-urine a 6, and then he hoovered the carpet a bit. Ejaz came up with a logical idea as to why I felt so distant, maybe because I’d been having a nocturnal seizure before getting up. A clever idea that was from the lad. On leaving, as per usual, we swapped a bit of Nottinghamian language between us, both saying ‘Tara!’.

I got on the computer to start updating yesterday’s blog. It was a bit of a slog, as I still felt oddly disoriented and confused.

I’d forgotten or failed to remember (Hehe!) that the JS food order was arriving early today. (Fancy that!)
Got the fridge stuff sorted.
Then, the freezer
Refilled the nibble boxes.
And the drinkies
Protection pads, kitchen towels, Bovril cubes, Maryland Vegan cookies, Kung Po sauce, a can of garden peas, and, to my delight, a loaf of my beloved Milk Roll sliced bread! 

Putting the things away, I heard a clatter; something had fallen down between the cooker and cabinet.
I couldn’t see what, or where, it had fallen. So, I took a photo with the flash on of the gap. It turned out to be the spyglass that I had tried to clean last week, which I had filled with a mixture of bleach and water. I utilised the picker-upperer to retrieve the magnifier.
That spyglass is not having a lot of luck, is it?
I’m not either, it had broken!

The sun came out strongly, and I hung the thin dressing gown up on the curtainless rail.Ten minutes later, I took a photo of this snap through the window. Looking suddenly bleak?
Ten more minutes later.
The sun broke through again.

THE INTERCOM RANG
A nurse was on screen, and she shouted, “It’s the Nurse,” And the screen shut down. Thinking this may be a nurse calling about the seizures I’m having. I made my way out to the lift, as I’d never seen this nurse before. To greet her as she exits the lift and show her to the flat. Alway’s a gentleman. Hehe! I waited about half an hour. However, the nurse never made it to the flat.

I had another blast on the blog. I haven’t done much, and I had a feeling things weren’t going to! 

Nurse Jane arrived from the… It’s a long name: The Community Rehabilitation, Falls, and Service for a  Physiotherapy and Occupational Therapy Assessment Session. Questions and answers. 

As she left, Matron Jackie Arrived.
A deep question-and-answer session. 
I’ll cover both of the Angel, Mainly because I can’t remember which said what. I’ll use Angel to cover Matron Jackie or Nurse Jane, as I got confused about which one asked what and the advice given.
Jane took my blood pressure, including systolic and diastolic readings, Pulse, and temperature, after reviewing the record list on my Excel sheet. I mentioned how they had been a lot better over the last two weeks.
Angel said she would ring the doctor and ask for me to be referred to a specialist about the seizures. (If indeed they are seizures). They will get me a four-wheeled walker and try to encourage me to walk more. Referred me to a physiotherapist.
The Angels asked me about the seizures and the nature of the falls I’ve had. I couldn’t answer many of the questions on this subject, but I did tell them that falls have caused these after-effects, or rather, I corrected myself that the after-effects have caused falls. Loss of balance and giddiness may occur at varying intervals after each seizure. The matron called ICC, ‘Intercity Care Company’, and asked if Carer ‘Joe’, whom I had praised to her, could ring her when he got the chance. Angel said she is going to see if extra hours can be found to get the Carers to tend to my ablution sessions. Hmm?

Carer ‘Joe’ did the evening call.
I’ve still not done the ode yet!
Might have to make it a short one. But, as you may have noticed, I do get carried with them. Hehe!
He told me he’d rang Matron Jackie. Who told ‘Carer Joe’ that the wheelchair would arrive shortly?

I love it being cared for and about! 🌼🧡

I set about cooking the beef and vegetable stew in the microwave. I had everything prepared earlier and put it in the fridge, ready to go.

UPDATE as of 16:40hrs Tomorrow, Wednesday!
So far behind again. A small price to pay for the Angels who tended to me. 💗

THE MEAL
Beef and black bean ready-made meal, with a can of minced beef, flavoured with Marmite and Bisto.
I added a can of garden peas, some pickled water chestnuts and chickpeas from the fridge.
Very Nice!

Put the TV on to watch Heartbeat and had an ice cream cornetto. As I drifted off during the adverts, the mobile chirped. A message telling me the Amazon battery order was 8 stops away from me. Needless to say, I’d forgotten all about it. Tsk!

I checked on the tracker and thought the red disc indicated that it was outside the flats.
A semi-panic visited me. Amazon is infamous for leaving ordered goods downstairs in the ground-floor lobby to be stolen. So, I went down to have a look, but nothing was there. I dare not go out to look, as I had put on my slippers and Montsuki and forgotten to take the flat key with me, which has the fob on it, to get back inside the block of flats. I was nervous about leaving the lobby, thinking the delivery would arrive if I went back up to the flat.
SAVIOUR OF THE PROBLEM!
Carer Ejaz turned up. He waited for the van while I hobbled up to the flat to check in case Amazon had told me via email that it had been delivered.
WOT A PLONKER, I AM!
The tracker told me it was still eight drops away. Then I realised I’d looked at the red circle, which is where I live, a green one was where the van was!
How I got that wrong really annoyed me!
I went back down to Ejaz, who had kindly waited downstairs to collect the batteries, and then returned to the flat.
Minutes later, Saviour Ejazz came in with the batteries. Now, I can retake photos and get the clock powered up in the morning. Ejaz put the night bag on the bed and removed my diabetic socks. I had to reheat the leftovers of the meal later. Gave me some requested Peptac. Then he gave me a body check-over, barrier creaming my bottom, man breasts all around, my belly and both ankles that he thought were looking worse than yesterday. Bless Him. 

I finished of the rewarmed big bowl of fodder.
I’d missed the Heartbeats again. However, I found a documentary about the 1940s and the war on a channel with subtitles.
Carer ‘Joe’ made the last call. Another gem here. He tends to understand my problems, and we had a little chat, and off he poddled back to his other half.

I may have to curb my blogging soon, as I have two more appointments this week and three next week already. Physio, the Doctor. Rehabilitation is then followed by the Disabled checks. A 4-wheeled walker and wheelchair are arriving, one tomorrow. Someone to go through the hospital beds functions with me. I am awaiting confirmation of the Audio Clinic, Glaucoma, and Neurology appointments.
As if it wasn’t hectic enough now! Hahaha!

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Struggling, but hoping – I think, Hehehe!
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Inchy Today: Thursday 3rd April 2025

/ Inchie / 2 Comments

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More Advice for Whippersnappers!
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Why does life go so dysfunctionally?
It’s worse when you get over eighty!
Things were once easy and elementary,
Just waking up is a struggle daily,
It’s hard work, hiding your docility,
Losing all of little in the first-place divinity,
You may keep some social logicality,
But relying on others benignancy,
You’ll no longer act condemnatorily,
Deprecatorily, reproachfully, harshly,
Limbs stop working, physically,
The brain torments you mentally,
Cataract or Glaucoma visually,
Catheter bag hanging on your knee,
Diabetes, & Peripheral Neuropathy?
Seizures, some short, some prolifically,
Allergies that send you psychedelically,
You decide to fight these, purposefully,
But not pseudo-scientifically,
You’ll try visionary things, quixotically…
You failures you accept quotidianly,
They put you in a bit of a quandary,
But you try again quintessentially,
You pray, beg, & hope for a qualificatory…
For a way to live again, more painlessly,
More reliably, more competently,
To find joy again, sociality…
The cartilage gives way on your knee,
You seek assistance medically…
Soon back home, having a mug of tea,
Crutches, walkers, some get them free,
If you’ve too much cash, quintessentially,
Then free ones will be only visionary,
Oh, to live life rambunctiously,
More importantly, it’s hassle-free,
Then, the bill arrives for your electricity,
The rent goes up heartlessly…
Food prices rise pitilessly,
No time for theory, with things pecuniary,
But ageing, ever-fading, irreversibly…
Life in the UK is now recessionary,
Oligarchs reacting unsympathetically,
HMG treats farmers, pensioners cruelly,
Scoffing at their voters, insensitively,
You youngsters must act rebelliously,
We oldies at best see HMG resentfully,
You must declare HMG’s risibility,
We’ll never see the end of war & poverty,
Murder, killing, greed or rapacity,
Look down from heaven or hell, happily…
Enjoy the long-awaited doomsday,
The end of the world? A catastrophe?
You’ll join us in Hell if there’s the capacity!
Voters have got to show more audacity,,
I dream of being able to again wee-wee,
By this, I mean, when I to, manually,
Be free of seizures and myelopathy,
Diabetic diabetes, not be so moody,
The depressions would leave me be,
Arthur Itis, & fungal-lesions go away,
My cartilages could work mellifluously,
I’d be freed of feeling minaciously,
To find a computer engineer, mirabiliary,
My hearing returns, miraculously…
My one dream left is to live carefree!
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It was a wickedly frustrating day! Not compared to the last two horrible days, mind you. But the computer toyed with me every time. Precious few photographs got on after the first few did, early in the day. Then freezes, and some fonts have disappeared. I spent so long trying get things to work, but without a lot of luck. I fear the worst, computerwise.
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The best colour ever, a three!

A dour morning.
The sun broke through later, but it wasn’t worth taking any pictures cause of the computer!

Colin Cramps paid a few visits today
(Old photo used again)

Carer Jo did the first call. He was helpful again with the mail. Thanks.

Ahram, the second. He tried to help with the computer problems, which I spent hours and hours trying to sort out. I didn’t!

Early in the afternoon, the weariness came over at its usual time. Then Anne Gyna woke up, and the mini-seizures paid so many short visits.

I made an early meal and took a photo, but I don’t expect it to get to the file somehow.

Hristina, the DVT Warfarin nurse, arrived and took some blood. I do love her.
(Old photo used)
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I was not feeling too good then.
Made worse again when the seizures kicked off and Ann Gyna joined in. I gave up trying to sort the damnable computer.

Washed the dishes, sat to watch some TV, and blissfully fell asleep around 17:20hrs.

1735hrs, the Carer woke me up.
So tired and in some pain with Anne Gyna roving about my chest, back and neck as if she was taking a hiking holiday over my torso! Haha!

GANNET INCHY!
Peed-off, frustrated, and coping with another Anne Gyna (angina) attack. Deeply depressed and fed up with struggling with the computer and CorelDRAW, I made an earlier-than-usual nosh. In the morning, it took me well over two hours to upload this one photo; the other six would not save to file! Grrr!
Beef & onion in gravy, with colcannon mashed potatoes and carrots, with the last of the milk roll sliced bread used to dunk in the gravy.
GORGEOUS!
I dined well, and Anne Gyna appreciated the stomach being filled cause she calmed down a lot!
Two hours later, after the Carer had been and gone, Anne Gyna began to worsen again. What did I think would be a good idea? To eat more!
Understand the pain that caused me to gobble up a full giant pouch of Cheez-It nibbles with cashew nuts, pecan and pistachio nuts in between! I think mayhap, may have helped me was scoffed away in between falling asleep and being woken by with more venom than normally used on me. I think I ate some nibble or other after each enforced-waking-up.

I could not get back to sleep this time. So, I put the TV on, and there were two back-to-back episodes just starting. I would guess that I must have nodded of for a few minutes what seemed like every few minutes. The jerking back to wakefulness was not hindered by this time, though.
Because I was enjoying myself so much again, that was the reason for my awakening! Right neck, jaws, left high chest, centre chest, left rib cage, lower chest, throat, back to the left neck… On and on. If her domain is my body, I think she must have taken a world cruise to issue her stabbings this time. Haha! Still, on the plus side, the steadied up, and I had few overnight.
It might be worth me remembering that. Do you think that when the come thick and fast, it might be an idea for me to eat a lot? Hahaha! It seemed to keep her calm tonight!

After missing most of the Heartbeat programmes through the mini-nod-offs, the food, the healthy and the naughty, had travelled down and through the pipeworks, and I needed to utilise the for a second time today. It may have been my uncontrolable hunger and scoffing so much that caused to be in total control of the proceedings. No doubt about it, it was the messiest mess for a long time. Maybe months!
I cleaned up myself and the Porcelain, during which an almost forgotten-about ailment accifauxpas took place. I ! Another rarity, I don’t think I’ve given myself a toe-stubbing for weeks now. Well, it’s a bit of variety for me. Hah-Ha!

With the minor kerfuffling and toe-stubbing, I was glad to get into the hospital bed. But the vague sleep that I was getting earlier, did not want to know. I still felt tired and weary but could not nod off for hours. When I did, it was back to the shooting awake with a jerk. I think I might be that jerk. Hee-hee! But it was good that after that, each time I woke, I got back to sleep easily enough.
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TTFNski, Folks!
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My memory has been slowly macilated,
Naturally, it cannot be modified,
My neurosurgeon tried…
That was much appreciated,
My memory then abscinded,
It’s new stuff can’t be remembered,
What bit can that is usually aberrated,
But old things are not abrogated,
When Grizelda and I mated…
The memory is now well dated,
But as clear, but abrogated…
As any bloke who’s been cathetered,
Such memories can get you castrated!

Fellow Foley-catheter-wearing men will painfully understand wot I mean! Haha! 
>>>>>ARGH!<<<<<
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Have a Great Day!
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Inchy: Tuesday 21st January 2025

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Last night, I spent coughing very chestily,
And kept sneezing cacophonously,
Passing wind virtually continuously…
From Reflux Roger and my bottie,
Freezingly and shiveringly,
My tears ran down into my mouth; rather salty,
Little Inchie’s fungal lesion bled capriciously…
Sleep? Well, that was an impossibility,
I was dealing with these new ailments intolerantly,
But Thought Storming Steve gave no claptrappery,
I gave up trying to do things somnambulatory,
And escaped the bed to the lavatory,
Trotsky Terence came prematurely…
This was most shamefully embarrassingly!
Then, the job of doing the cleaning,
More problems when I started computing…
Gmail graphics on it, refusing!
I took Codeine and an Adrenocorticotrophin,
Got my mask on, and Carer Chloe came in,
As she sorted the medicationing…
The food delivery was arriving…
The driver took the bags through to my kitchen,
I forgot to ask Chloe to put my socks on…
Today, there was many an omission,
Chloe left, and I sank into a state of curmudgeon,
As I fought back the incoming depression,
Second Throne visit – even more humiliating,
What am I dreaming of, imagining, indicating?
Diabetic Dementia, mind juggling…
Yet this cold seemed more worrying & bothering?
Enough of my self-tormenting, witwantoning,
I going to get this Ode done, then my bed I will jump in,
Carer Sam called, and I was moaning…
My self-pity vessel was filling,
Life is not very fulfilling…
I’ll battle on, but I’m not genuinely willing,
My bad luck seems unrelenting,
Onto the bed, I’ll soon be settling,
Will I be able to manage to get some sleeping?
If owt happens, that’s worthy of writing,
Anything worth reporting…
No camera for photographing…
Where am I going?
What am I doing?
What will ensue for me?
Maybe a summat will happen. That’s thrilling…
Enchanting, stirring, exhilarating?
Huh, blood from the teeth & gums are flowing!
Onto the bed, in search of Sweet Morpheus,
Oh, I’m expecting the nurse…
Hristina, a lovely, kind gal, an Aquarius
I love to see her and her apparatus!
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Sleep didn’t come, but apprehensiveness did,
The next few hours were fetid, which made me livid,
Getting no sleep, but I felt almost intrepid…
The following events didn’t make me  stolid,
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Here are the reasons why I hadn’t slept,
An alarm went  & stopped,
Then there rang out a fire alarm, I panicked
An alarm went beep-beep-beep-bleep & stopped,
I couldn’t work out what it was, but hoped,
The landline rang, someone had phoned…
I got to it too late; the ringing stopped,
Again, the landline rang; too late, the ringing stopped,
An alarm went beep-beep-beep and stopped,
I couldn’t work out what it was, but hoped,
After five hours a minute’s sleep, I was gifted,
Then the alarm went beep-beep-beep & stopped,
Carer Chris came in, into the drinks selection he dived,
Then, a drink was chosen & correlated,
Again, the landline rang; someone had phoned…
I got to it too late; the ringing stopped,
Then Cartilage Carol once again crumpled,
But a complete fall was deflected…
The leg was medicated & elastoplasted,
An alarm going beep-beep-beep was emitted,
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Carer Chris had forgot to bring the camera,
But he took a shot of the meal & bilgewater!
And the hospital bed, & controller,
On his phone, saved these to his SND recorder,
Said he’s off work for 72 hours,
Wants to be with his wife, who is now pregnanter,
Carer Richard & Joanne off, both much poorlier,
I know how they feel with acute coryza,
Head cold, grinding-coughing, known as Flu-R,
It is unpleasant and a right miserable bugger!
I tried to get some sleep, but it was deactivated…
But my plans were again ascerbated…
Don’t come to hospital, sufferers are told…
The hospitals are so busy, shemozzled,
My plans, ideas, & hopes have been sphacelated,
Flu-R is so bad that I’m dumbfounded,
If I stood up, moved or even quetched,
Ailments these last two days have quintuplicated!
I feel my designs have been mancipated,
My thoughts could do with being manumitted,
shame, embarrassment, teeth always gritted!
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Today, I felt as if I was apprenticing…
Coping with this new bug or flu and learning,
I rang 111 to ask what I could be taking?
To counter the constant sneezing?
My heavy breathing and wheezing?
My impossibility to get any sleep in?
Can I take an alcoholic drinkie?
To counter the phlegm & blubbering?
NHS 111 said don’t take Aspirin…
Cause you’re on Finasteride & Warfarin,
Well, that was not very informing!
Then they added I’m not to go to hospital…
Doreen Dementia understood it was elemental,
I considered bringing up my mental problems.
The line went dead; it was pretty comical!
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Figures show urgent and emergency services, with 98,118 ambulances handed over to hospitals last week and 495,442 calls received by NHS 111. No wonder they are struggling to cope with the stampede!
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I’m fed up with this bug! Tsk!

Inchy Today: Saturday 2nd November 2024

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

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He should have put ‘one word to describe this ode.’ Tsk!
Someone entered my flat, saying he was an alien…
I thought, surely this is an aberration?
I said you look like an Abyssinian,
He replied; The universe is my dominion…
I quipped, our leader lives in London…
Did you misjudge your landing?
He didn’t act like an authoritarian,
“I’m the Universal disciplinarian!…
To speak with you, cause of your acumen”,
I can’t cope with decisioning or botheration…
I have arithmaphobia, & am mentally broken!
But on the internet, you always log on!
Well, yes, Sir, I’ve put myself up for adoption,
Sir? Just address me as Zon,
Is that your name, Son?
No, it’s Starmer-The Holy-One…
Jesus, I’m worried about mankind’s preservation,
Well, you didn’t help the Indians on the reservation!
And what about the Jews and the Ukrainians?
Mankind evolved during experiments on plankton,
To the heavens, they are now an abomination,
So what can I do, Zon? 
You are the new chosen one!
How did I get in the line of succession?…
No, I’m too old, ready for heaven…
Zon faded into the ether, saying Untermenschen!
The alarm woke me up just before seven…
Well, that dream was full of diversification!
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I’m not joking; I scribbled this ode while having a Seizure.
Now, can I get help from a neurologist doctor? Hehe!
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The Prime Minister wrote on X: “Congratulations, Kemi Badenoch, on becoming the Conservative Party’s new leader. The first black leader of a Westminster party is a proud moment for our country. I look forward to working with you and your party in the interests of the British people.” (Not pensioners, of course)
Reading Starmers’ false-hearted comments, I felt nauseated.
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Computer Cock-ups Galore.
Repeated Seizures had me seething.
Stuttering-Stephanie made communications silly!
Computer farce with saving the photos!
The hot water tap was left running cold again!
Iceland Delivery came.
CorelDraw is going so slow that I’m concerned.
Another rush job to get this blog done.
Carer Joanne is feeling better – Hurrah! Goood News…

Frighteningly dark urine in the nocturnal bag!.

Another bit of good and bad news.
Good: The new wire washing sheets work wonders on the hobs of the cooker cleaning.
Bad: I need a new cooker!,

The Iceland delivery arrived.

I took this snap of the carrier bags in my super-massive hallway (Hehe!) I could see some objects formed by the bags. Can you see anything in there?
Pareidoliaer wise?

Got the fridge filled a bit now.

The Pukka pies are a new product.
Made to be cooked in the microwave.
That’ll do me with the cooker now
kaputt and deceased.

Carer Chris did the first call.

Before starting the blog, I popped into the balcony to see if anything would be worth photoing and was greeted with
Seagull poo down the glass! Humph!

The seizures, although no long ones today, were coming to regularly for my liking. It may not be the case, but I felt I took much longer to overcome each one.
The doctor did say things would only get worse.

A great choice was in the fridge if I fancied a sarnie to nibble on yeast extract, Asda, and Vegemite. They are also good as flavouring in some meals, the ones I used to make using the oven that I can no longer do due to the demise of the oven. I’ve only had it for… Ah, yes. I think it was 2008 when I bought it. I can’t get another one until the funds build up. But, I’ve got the microwave and a diddy air-fryer, so I’ll be able to cope with my usual aplomb and calm, capably copeable manner as I do with these things.

When Carer Joanne came in, I chirped tremendously. After I asked her how she felt, she said she felt much better today. Great!

At least there was no rushing to get to the Porcelain Throne in time and being late this time. I did hit my shoulder on the doorframe, entering the wet room. I never used to do this when I had a cataract problem. This Glaucoma Gladys ailment must be worse than the cataract? But, they tell me it will be treated with a laser, in the same way, but it will take a lot longer, and I’ll have to take someone, relative, friend or caregiver with me to have the procedure at the hospital. No relative or friend to help, so a costly carer is the option. But the hospital has to write in the appointment that I ‘Have’ to bring a carer with me, and not just say they advise me to get one.

When I had the cataract done, they struggled to get cover for someone to come with me. The carer who came could not stay waiting for me and left. But she was very kind and left me notes with a nurse on what I had to do when I got home. I’d got a lift that day with Easy-Link. I think the young lady carer was either finishing a shift before coming with me or had a chance to start. Nice gal. She did her best, thank you gal.
I waffled again there! I’m a rare but good waffler when I get someone to listen to me. Haha!

Much to my surprise, the computer, which had been a bugger for not letting me save things, allowed me to save last night’s sunset views that I tried and failed to go two or three times yesterday. YeeHaa! Not a bad selection. Then, it was back once again to visit the .
I needed to rush a little more this time, and I’m so glad I did!
It was a close call, but I can cope with them after having three ‘got-there-too-late events over the week.
A bit of a worry was discovered on this visit.
was oozing blood a smidge worryingly. I had to change the protective pants; they were stained a lot.
I’ll have to check this more regularly. It’s never bled so much before. Well, having said that, it has been worse, but that was when I fell off the bus at the bottom of Winchester Street and got myself tangled up in my own walker. I can remember how some kind of people came to my rescue. One lady said how pale I looked, I said I was on my way to the dentist and she walked me up to the surgery. Such a kind, appreciated gesture. ♥
I could not believe it myself, but as I came out of the dentist and got to the bus shelter, a bus came straight away, and I tripped getting onto the bus. That was a while ago, but the memory is still evident.

I tried again to get more Bookmarks on the bar. But started again, some, most, only latest for seconds. It destroyed what bit of concentration & confidence I had. It was getting late, and I gave up.

The meal was not really a meal. I felt so drained, too much to start cooking, especially with the microwave I’m not used to using. So I made two ready-sliced baps, sliced tomatoes, sea salt, and Marmite. I had a bag of Frazzles with it, and I sat down to watch some football on the TV. 
Do you know, I really enjoyed it! I had it on a paper plate, so there was no washing up to do. Hahaha!

About ten minutes into the game, I drifted off into Sweet Abvilion. Zzz! I woke up with the usual jerking neck, what seemed like every other ten minutes. I gave up on the TV as well. I sorted the night pouch and struggled into the bed, where I just carried on nodding and waking up for the next four hours. Then I gave up on that, too.

I finished this in the late morning.
I was still coughing & yawning!
The fungal lesion had blood pouring…
Which wasn’t too assuring…
My mind was busy bolixing!
So, please do your best to get some relaxing,
And get some extra rest in, 
The last tip I am offering…
Carrots help your brain in calibrating!

 
TTFNski!

Ickier Inchy: Friday 26th April 2024

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

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The blessed, unaccountable reduction in the agony, down to merely a bothersome pain. It is now reverting again. Slowly, it is getting worse and more frequent, but I have hopes. It is currently estimated at 50% of the high reached over the two previous days. In the morning, I will have an ablution session, concentrate, and cream the ‘delicate’ area (Little Inchies zone). Getting the new catheter bag pouch off and on might be a stumbling block, with having to bend to get it off and then on without damaging the frail cotton it’s made of. (Fingers crossed on that one) We’ll see how it goes. At least I have some Codeines to ease the pain now. 
I’m sure I had a  or during the day. Some were in which I was doing things, albeit making a mess of them, but I had no memory of them. One, in the afternoon, was a cracker. It was as if I just blinked, and two hours were lost. After the blink, I could not see that I’d done anything. Had I unknowingly nodded off, perhaps? Indeed, if I had dozed, I’d still be getting the leg dances as I had all day and would have fallen off of the chair?
Is it all a part of the Mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morganas, and my failing mentality and physicality. That taunt, irritate, and terminate my already limited saneness of mind? Just a thought.
I lost so much time being out of it that tomorrow morning at 09:40 hrs, I’ve only just started this blog.
Oh, dearie me. Hehehe!

05:25hrs: I stirred back reluctantly to life. (I’d had a dream that I’d died and was arguing with St Peter at his gates. No details were available; I was just getting irate with him over something. (Mayhap he wanted to send me back to earth?) Haha!
I cannot recall taking this, but I must have; it was on the SD card in order. Looking at it with the spyglass, it seemed rather shaky.
A reversal in evacuation stakes this morning.
Trotsky Terence’s return was short-lived. Still, on the bright side, it meant far less time, and aches needed to be cleaned up after the session.
I went back to putting on the Unisex Protection Pants today. Yesterday, the new Tena ones were a little loose, which meant Little Inchie and his lesion got scuffed a few times. Not that the pain bothers me. Oh, no!
I got the out of the pouch holder relatively quickly. Mainly because it was so full, which helped.
However, when it came to getting things back on again, it took me ages and a lot of frustration to do so. (Pain as well)  I ripped the side of the leg bag getting it back on. I also knocked the burn scar on the right hand from the oven-singeing against the grab bar, the skin broke, and blood flowed.
One of my better days.

Minutes before my first ‘Blank’, I took this snap of the Woodthorpe Court end car park.
Hours later, I could see nothing had been done on the blog or cleaning, and the notepad barely had three lines of reminders on it. Hurumph!

Because I’m a Pareidolist,
Finding figures I can’t resist,
Faces, animals I can detect…
In the clouds, even with mist,
Yet, I’m no astrologist,
Maybe I’m an illusionist?
I wanted to be a harpsichordist,
Nature at her bestest…
Because I’m a Pareidolist,

The day’s views from my little kitchenette. Of the clouds on display, for me to find things hidden within. A goose, a tree,  fingers, three faces… no, four! A snake, a mouse, there’s probably more.
I can’t be sure. There is no possible cure. For my habit, I’m a Pareidolist.

A different type of nosh today.
Vegetarian sausages (8.8/10), Milk Roll Bread (8/10), Air-Fried Chips (6.5/10), and ketchup with pickle (8.2/10). I can’t work out the average, But I’ll try. With the help of the Windows calculator, I made the average 7.875/10?

I may struggle to get a blog done tomorrow, folks. Or it will be a short one, if at all. Things medicationalistically are not good,  pain-wise again, today. Saturday at just gone 17:50hrs, must get things sorted after a meal. I’m just getting this finished to send off. Nothing has been done on Starudays blog yet. And I’m on the verge of depression. But I will not allow it to get to me today. Will-Power, huh! Naturally this may be or not, so what! Just another of life’s aims shot. 

I am a clot! With acne back on my clock!

TTFNski!

INCHIE TODAY: Wednesday 22nd February 2023

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Horrific Day
I would have topped myself…
But I didn’t have time. Hehe!

I really cannot remember much about yesterday.
But I’ll try to decipher the notes and use the pictures in hopes of working out the chronological bits I can be prompted on.

Throne, unblocked WC. Something about the cancelled Asda order, no idea what, the writing and eyes are so bad.
Carer Richard called. Did the first BP reading.

And urine colouring. Not good at all

Getting the paperwork together for Friday’s brain scan…found a letter, but it gave the date as Thursday, not Friday? The Warfarin nurse arrived – and did not have time to help me sort out the problem.
The pain, no, agony from Little Inchie was getting worse and worse, as time moved on.
Carer Carolynne arrived, and could see the agony I was going through, and rang the District Nurse for me, they told her someone would call to tend to me. Bless her!! I am confused so am going to have to guess at the timing and names over the next four hours.
The nurse said there was a blockage in the bladder. Squirted something down the tube, and reconnected the pouch. When I mentioned the appointment for the scan having two dates on them, and needing to know which is the one to go to, she kindly rang all the five or six numbers on the letterheads from the QMC, and could not get through to any of them. I’m sure she then rang the QMC switchboard, and they could not get through to them either. The operator said she’d ring me back later. They did; the Carer told me it was for Friday. Of course finding the letter with the Thursday one on, I’d rung Easy-Link to see if they could cancel the Friday one, and move it to Thursday. No! But they will try Thursday to let me know if they have any cancellations.
My head was spinning now.
Got the yesterday’s blog, and didn’t get around to starting this one until about 21:30hrs! The eyes, as usual, were failing and blurred now, by balance was all over the place. And the new pouch was got being pee’d into. What tiny bit was there was bloodied!
Don’t know when or why I took this one above.

Found this one, Richard.

This shows how well-coloured and heavy-flowing the wee had been the first thing.

Then this one is what it is like now…

Another earlier shot.

The yopo two notepads are mine, so you can see why I am making a mess of this blog? The bottom one was what Carer Carolynne wrote to remind me after. Carer Jozeph. Calls from unknown people as well, a con here, methinks was being tried.
Took what I’d hoped would be sunset photos, but the clouds were not playing.

A little later… I did the last wee check…

Then the nearest thing to a sunset…

Carer Richard told him about the horrid day of disasters and asked him not to put the night pouch on tonight.
I been up all night, no sleep.
Fretting, worrying and fed up.

Now suddenly, the wee-wee is flowing again, and the pain has begun to ease after about eight hours of just the odd bloodied trickle.
Oh, dear, it’s a bit bloodied again now.

06:00hrs, I’m going to make a meal.
Well, a pot noodle!

Worked all through the night on this blog.
Fell asleep around 04:00hrs.

Inchie Today: Saturday 17th December 2022

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They have my support, at least!

How come he avoided prison?

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05:20hrs: I woke; well, I wasn’t asleep really, just the odd fitful half-dose, with my rear end hanging off the cushion out of the c1966. charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner. .
A bad night again for sleeping.
I was so tied last night I felt sure that my bosky would force me to get some respite and rest in the dorm of sleep.
But, No!.
My friendly, compassionate neighbour above had seen to that. Two gays now, of constant banging, ta[[ing, drilling, clunking, with very elite respite; I hoped to get to sleep early, but that was a no chancer, as he started giving the hammer a bashing. Fair enough, he gave his last mechanical concerto just after ten o’clock, but I was on edge after so many days and hours of putting up with it, and I feared he may start again at any time.
He is making some things to give to the children he likes to support and visit, for Christmas, I believe.
I usually get his banging away every day of the year from Herbert (Nickname). But the last two days have been horrendously noisy for him. Doing my health no good. Even the Carers and Nurse Hristina heard him tap-tapping away relentlessly.
More so now that I’ve no Omeprazole medications to counter the pains from Anne Gyna. It seems that when the Doctor told me to double the dosages of the caps;e, she somehow forgot to tell the chemist! It got slowly worse, and no chance of getting any. Might call 111 later.
Had poor not gone sick, this would not have happened, I’m sure. It’s Richard that controls the Prescriptions. Still, excellent news on that situation; they tell me that Richard will be returning to work on Monday. I hope he’s not coming back too soon; as much as I am pleased about it, I hope he is not returning too early and gets himself poorly again. Crossed fingers!

Let’s assess the problems I’ve had to endure these last few days: or should I?

Maybe best not to…

Go on, then; I’ll make a list on CorelDraw and see how it reads. (Perusing engaged) Perusing ended)

Not nice, is it? But self-pity is not the answer! Mind you, I don’t know what the answer is?
I’ve got a little muddled up here. Things may be out-of-chronological timing from here onwards.
Sorry. The stress and pain from Anne Gyna are getting to me.
This photo is, I think, the first one I took this morning.

acci-whoop When I was brewing my first mug of Glengettie tea. I put the milk in and got blotches of manky milk floaters in the mug. Humph!
Threw the milk away and tried the semi-skimmed – same again? Threw that carton away. rinded the bottle and box and got them in the waste bag. Tried the last box of milk, and it seems okay. Another of the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morganas, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind?

I got the health Checks tended to. (Ann Gyna is going to be a bother here; She’s getting more and more painful!

The results, as decreed by the NHS analyser, put me in the Hypertension – Red One Zone. But, so close to being in the High-Normal pink. So that’ll do me.

I see I’ve put the photo above in with the second lot of pictures I’d taken as well. Rather sad, but Anne Gyna has got my mind all over the place now.
When I get this done, I’m going to ring 111 and ask for advice.

He said, forgetting all about doing it afterwards.

I espied in these house shot photos that the frost and bits of snow were spread around liberally.
But you’ll notice the richest house on the block (Last house photo).
That will either be the richest family in Sherwood; who can afford to heat the attic room?

Or an efficient drug dealer den.
Specifically, a cannabis growing factory, with e plants being hidden in the loft and the heating on 23/7.

I wonder if they have rerouted the electricity from next door? Well, you never know! I can’t remember taking the sky one.
But that’s not unusual.

My concentration is well-shot now. No notes on the memory pad from here on. Anne Gyna was stirring again.

The beloved neighbour of mine was nowhere near as noisy as the last two days. I don’t think it was my responding to every single noise he made over about three hours by banging back on the tall bookcase cabinet; every time it started tap-tapping, banging or knocking with copied noises with Metal Mickey.
But after around 02:30 hours, things went strangely quiet on the Western Front. Hehehe! He’s probably gone to deliver some of his creations to his children and friends.

, came. Kara took the washing and returned it, putting them away for me ♥.

I went to get something to eat. After a look at what food options I had, I decided on Cottage pie, rosti potatoes, cobs and BBQ sauce. I got settled, the TV on, and took the first bite of the evening meal… Carer Cheeky Charlie arrived to give me the medications. No Omeprazole, of course, and this was the reason for the pains in my chest that had been lingering all day long and getting worse the longer I went without any pain relief from Ailment 19 – Anne Gyna! Charly gave me two extra Paracetamol tablets and Took the waste bag with her as she left for the chute.
I ate the by-now nearly cold meal and still enjoyed it. Flavour-Rating 7/10.

While watching TV. Woke an hour or so later, took a wee-wee, getting bad again. Washed the pots and returned to watch the end of the film; it had about 5 minutes to run
Woke up as the screen credits for the end of the film were showing. Tsk!

And Carer Cheeky Charlie returned to give me the Peptac and check on the taps and stove. I sent to make a brew of Glengettie. Decided to take some evening shots from the kitchenette window.

The first effort was taken hanging out of the window straight down on Chestnut Way, the road and the car park. What looked like a fire engine, or stretched limousine, was, in fact, it was a normal car speeding out of the complex. I hope it wasn’t one being stolen!

A wide view of the horison and lights was taken next.
Not one of my better efforts.

The last photo was taken as I returned to the front room...
Completely forgot about the mug of Glengettie I’d just made.
The TV had been left on, and taking the photo purposely in the dark to ass a bit of mystery to it, I managed to get a .

Settled down and . Moments later, this caught me out somewhat: By what must have been the longest-lasting ever  . I had to retrieve the leg from over the arm of the £300, second-hand shop bought nine years ago, c1966, discomfiting, alarmingly beige-coloured, crumb-containing, TV remote hiding, not working recliner.

By when I got up in the morning, I’d sprung awake at least a dozen times and had taken five wee-wees. Advice for Whippersnappers: Sleep is not easy when one wants it, but becomes rife when one doesn’t want it.
Oh, and be prepared to be accompanied in your slumber… or rather, to be awoken from your slumber by ailment 13: each and every night!

Evening all!

Inchcock Today: Thursday 1st Decemeber 2022

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05:20Hrs: I woke up with the guilt of poor Carer Richard going with me today to the Hospital. It makes sense, I know; he is the only person on this planet that can answer the questions the nurse will ask. He was so kind to offer to go. Especially after he’s just finishing four tours of duty. But I know how tired the lad can get without this extra, but that’s Richard for you. Not that any of this assuages my feelings of putting on him. After stewing in my guilt and appreciation for a few minutes, I decided to get my lumbering-elephantine body out of the recliner and get the ablutionalisationing done straight away. That was the plan!

Scenario: Dark, no RV or computer on, but a strange light from the kitchen was clearly visible, even to me, as I approached the open room door… Dang, Dang… Dang-Dang!
As I looked to my right into the kitchenette, a narrow red-yellow light beam hit me from within the room!  To all intents and purposes, it was a single eye, located head-height and piercing. It was completely dark otherwise. That must have helped with the illusion, too).
I suppose I had some help in getting confused from my ailments,, and , and getting misled.
For a second or so, I believed there was a possibility of a one-eyed intruder standing in the kitchen. “Go on, have a laugh” Hehehe! I did after I got the light on.
At that moment, it reminded me of a science fiction film of old, I forget the title. An alien who had a giant robot to protect him? Not that it would have fitted into my kitchenette anyway, but it did cast a deadly ray of the same colour that disintegrated tanks in New York. Did somebody Renee or Rennie star in it?
Anyway, as I got the light switched on, I realised that it was from the fridge door that I’d left open last night.
I’d stacked some food around it (the fridge light), including a pot of orange and raspberry-flavoured jelly. The light was altered into a beam as it went through… I did feel like a fool. Nothing new there, then!

The first noticeable thing was as I was going to get my feet into the bowl. It was amazing how the left leg was tiny-thin compared to the right one? A different colour too? Erm?

Apart from losing ten minutes searching for the toothbrush (it was underneath the trolley), a couple of hardly worth-mentioning shaving cuts, and a door shoulder charge on leaving the room. All went well. Even the getting the socks on and medicationalisationing.

I worked it out so that I might just have time to get the Wednesday blog finished (not a lot to do on it) before I needed to get the things sorted out for today’s visit to the Coppice Hospital. And yes, I even got that done as well!
So, a scare of sorts; that turned out to be a humorous incident. Great ablution session and the best bash on the blog I’ve had for months? A phenomenal start to the day!

THE TRIP TO THE COPPICE HOSPITAL

Arrived, having just completed his fourth tour of duty. Instantly my guilt returned.
It was a weird sensation; I was so pleased to see him, shook him by the hand… But the lad looked like he was on his last legs.
Not that it stopped him from launching into helpful advice and checking that I was getting the right things ready to take with us. Richard rang for a taxi.

I did nearly forget the reading glasses but remembered as we were at the point of leaving. I went to get to them.
Richard had already made the checks on taps etc., so the didn’t get a chance to get me going.
We were down in the lobby in plenty of time. The taxi arrived minutes later.
The taxi driver, like so many of them, took shortcuts through the estates. It seemed to my , that all the roads and streets had speed bumps on them! One of the worst, well not worst, but most painful taxi rides ever. I couldn’t concentrate on anything other than poor SOSTH!

We arrived at the right place on the grounds, and I was helped out of the taxi. They retrieved the three-wheeler from the boot for me, and I felt well looked after. Bloody hurting in the SOSTH testicle area, though! Hahaha!

Instinct, I think, led Richard to lead me around some buildings to the required door, finding it the first time. Thank you, Richard!
Really good that Richard was there; we had to use an intercom thing to get in. Well, Richard did. It was not a long wait after Richard had logged us in with the receptionist, and the Memory Nurse fetched and led us to the office we needed, hers. A lovely nurse.
We went through the usual memory test. I think I did better than the last time at the surgery. The normal questions and a draw-a-clock routine.
Then some history, then medical questions.
A session of questioning Richard. I couldn’t hear them, unfortunately.
The nurse said I did well. (Which was worrying at the time cause I do need help!) She is going to give me a brain scan… now at this point, I had one of my blank moments and what she was saying did not get through properly. But I thought it did, now I cannot remember the details of what she had said. She might have given me a date of the first scan… maybe, but surely I’d have written it down if she had? February rings a bell in there somewhere. Mayhaps the first scan, then a second to see the changes in the brain? Oh, dear, Richard will know. I hope.
Why I didn’t say something at the time beats me.
But poor Richard was really in need of some rest by them. And we were soon told we could go. Which was a blessing for my mate Richard.
The receptionist called a taxi for us. We were soon on the way back here.
This taxi driver took a similar speed-bump route back but quicker driving, which entailed some cruel en route.

Back at the flats, all Richard wanted was to get home. And I don’t blame him one bit. I told him I had some of his favourite burgers in the fridge for him, but he was so tired he just wanted to go home. I pointed out that when he gets home, these burgers will only take two minutes in the microwave… He changed his mind and tool them. So hope he enjoys them, but he’ll probably fall asleep eating them.
Thanks again, mate.

BACK HOME

When Richard had departed, I had a feeling of aloneness, not loneliness. If you know what I mean?

The WC was used and then photographed. Funny how you miss things when you go out, innit? Hehehe!

Took a shot of the main room. Otherwise known as ‘The Tip’, ‘The Mess’, ‘Rubbish Room’, or ‘Bedroom’, although I don’t have a bed anywhere.

Then the kitchenette. A place of fear, Accifauxpas, Whoopsiedangleplops, burnt food, fridge and freezer doors left open, hob and oven left turned on, many trip-overable points, and occasionally a weird one-eyed monster appears in the night.

All a part and parcel of the unaccountable mysteries, phantoms, and haunting of Woodthorpe Court. (It never used to be like this, they told me until I arrived!)

I blame myself, like.

Arrived in good spirits. I asked him to ring EasyLink to arrange a lift if they could for tomorrow to Bulwell. I spent ages getting the details together and readying the calendar… But no chance! They were obviously either fully booked up or out of drivers again. They divert to a message when that happens. I wanted to get some food in.
Still, I’ll not starve, I’m sure. I’ve got a can of gungo beans, some out-of-date butter, manky even further out-of-date burgers in the freezer, and some potatoes that just need de-eying. Haha!
Shaquille departed with his chosen can. After which, I realised he had not issued me with the Peptac medicine.

I pressed on with doing this blog. It was incredibly slow going again. So I decided to get the Health Checks done… and this was the result!

Well, Phantasmagorical! First Time Ever!

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18:00hrs: I put some potatoes in the oven. (After a lot of de-eying and removing green maggots). Then I took this masterpiece of photographicalisational genius of the evening view. from the kitchen window.
Well, alright, it might not be that good exactly then... But it’s definitely a little better than my usual crap!

18:40hrs: , a rare but welcome pretty visitor arrived, dead on time too! ♥ She said how much better I looked that last week. She must have called in the middle of the four nights without any sleep and averaging 80 wee-wees per night. Boy, do I appreciate Richard’s care in getting me back to near normal! I hope he can catch up on sleep now. Sinead said she could smell the potatoes when she for out of the lift – not sure if that is good or not? She selected a can of pop and a nibble in thanks and departed. Feel lost again now, Hehehe!

I checked the potatoes in the oven. During a break in ‘Heartbeat’ on the box.
Ah, now I know why they smelt so! I’d sprayed them with olive oil and dropped a blob of BBQ sauce in each one. However, at first, I could not understand why, after two hours, they were still not cooked through yet. Eventually, it dawned on me. I’d only set the heat to 150°! Being the intelligent problem-solver I am, I turned it up to 200° and got back to watch my beloved ‘Heartbeat’ on the box.

I then checked the new Meridian Carer roster. It seems I have another caller coming at 21:45hrs ETA. To check that nothing is left on that shouldn’t be, and issue a fourth dose of Peptac. Tonight it says is calling. Another nice gal.

Why, what for, I’ve not got the foggiest, but…
Suddenly burst into giving me an almost industrial-level shoulder-shaking! None-stop for a good few minutes, I was beginning to worry about this, and it stopped abruptly. Thank heavens for that, I thought to myself…
She kicked off again, even more violently, this time. But slowly, it died off, this time after a minute or two. I can do without any more of these from her; thank you!

The Meridian 31:45hrs Care did not arrive.
But fear not, I remembered to take the Pentac. Shame she didn’t come, though: cause I left the hot water tap (faucet) running again; it’d run cold by the time I noticed it. I’d not put the plug in the sink, so I had no overflow problems to sort out, at least!

I got the meal served up.
The potatoes were tasty enough, and a few too many, methinks?
I enjoyed this simple feast, ate it on my knee, decorating my jammies and the recliner with droplets of BBQ sauce and bits of the potatoes and skin. Naughty Boy!
Took me ages to clean it all up afterwards. Hehe!

I was well tired when it came to settling into the c1966, £300 pound, second-hand charity-shop bought, crumb-containing, odour-retaining, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, nauseatingly beige coloured, non-working, virus-breeding recliner. Unfortunately: I plopped down into the seat from a greater height than I intended, landing joltingly, jarringly, and crushing  !
The pain left me feeling light-headed. But, of course, there was no cursing, howling, winching or feeling sorry for myself.

Thanks to the testicle-testing trauma, it took me a long time to get to sleep tonight. However, once I got off, I had a decent four uninterrupted hours of respite in the arms of Sweet Morpheus.
Grrreat!