– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I was once a young, fit, healthy, wise-guy
Girls? I kept out a watchful eye,
With my lower regions, I know not why,
It was harder then, with no wi-fi.
>>>>><<<<<
Life then started to become stunted,
The body aged, it became transfigured,
My sense of balance, weaved & wobbled,
My thoughts came oddly technicoloured.
>>>>><<<<<
Ageing makes you crocheted & crusted,
Arithmophobia, dates, figures & numbers…
Mistakes galore, you feel daunted,
Mental capacity, slowly degenerated!
>>>>><<<<<
After Toileting, the room must be fumigated,
Constipation? Teeth need to be gritted!
Facts, figures? Are at best guesstimated,
Decision making? Wrongly, not at all, or belated,
>>>>><<<<<
Instructions not understood, misinterpreted,
In conversations, words can be misheard,
Burning food, taps left on, safety neglected,
Leg lesions medicated and bandaged daily medicated and bandaged,
>>>>><<<<<
Living in a crime-filled neighbourhood,
No help with the computer – I spit blood!
Impossible to get life orchestrated,
No confidence can be radiated!
>>>>><<<<<
Feeling defeated, doubted, rejected,
All I write needs to be repeatedly subedited,
Self-disgust, self-taunted, vision tinted,
Fears & worries are now ever accessed!
>>>>><<<<<
Dark Dank Duncan Depressed,
Labour in power, as antisocialists,
Starmer, the bleakest Conservatist!
I hope death brings peace and rest,
If so, I’ll be so blessed!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I had much better sleep in the bed last night.
The problem was, I think I’d had nocturnal seizures, possibly. Because the quilt and covers were all over the place, and the pillow was on the floor. Somehow, I’d changed the settings on the bed mover control. It’s hard to believe how I slept at all. I was right at the top of the bed, yet bent forward so much, with a dip halfway down the bed, and the end and top bits 
raised to the maximum.
I woke up at 05:00. By the time I’d refigured the bed to a faux semi-comfortable position, ready for use tonight or in the morning, it was 06:00- Tsk!
Here I go again, sensing some challenges may present themselves to me this Thursday. Everything was normal, then! Tsk!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I detached the night pouch from the day pouch. I was so concerned with the state of the bed. I didn’t realise the night bag was even on. What’s more, I didn’t have any fauxpas, trips or leaks for the hour when the pouch dragged along, entangling itself around my foot and leg!
Now I was concerned! How did I manage that?
I fear I can only put it down to one thing… are you ready for this?… Good Luck! Now, I don’t say that very often. Especially after the Carer helped me out yesterday. He did a grand job for me. Questions for any God, philosopher or neurologist: Is my luck changing for the better? Will I cope with the shock, or have another stroke? Why did good luck wait nearly 80 years to appear? Will I live long enough to enjoy it? Will it continue? (It didn’t.) Can I get NHS instruction on how to be contented? Hahaha!
Starting
with a visit to the 
.
I was back in control. But once the chunks started evacuating, it took a while for them to stop clunking into the water below.
More than yesterday’s big dollop!
A stand-up wash. I didn’t have time to shower in case either the nurses or the Iceland delivery came earlier. I strip washed, soaking the feet as I shaved and did the teggies, then moved on to the self-medicating of my problematic areas. Argh!
Olive-oiled the ears, sprayed 
the eyes, Phorpain gelled the knees and cartilages, and ointmentated each Acne and eczema area. As usual, I left the most painful bit to the end.
I gritted my teeth, cleaned as instructed, heroically 
pulled the skin back, and squeezed the ointment in a drop. That was bad enough, but I had to massage it from the outside each time. Self-imposed agony! But it was nothing to a man of my calibre, heroism and upper pain limit. I may even have been singing to myself as I massaged it in.
When I turned on the computer, I realised I had a fair bit to do on yesterday’s blog.
It had been the busiest day for years!
As I was making a start, Carer ‘Joe’ arrived. I didn’t ask him to take the socks off cause they were not put on last night. Haha! Maybe I could join a touring fairground group as their Memory Man? Har-har!
My medications were issued. The lad said something about what he planned to do next week in flats the clean-up campaign.
I pressed on with the blog, but then it got busy again. The 
delivery came.
Seven carrier bags worth.
I got the fresh stuff away.
4 items unavailable & 2 substitutions.
Topped up the nurses & carers shelf with the new Pepsi flavours that came.
A well-overfilled filled top cupboard.
The danger of falling through the floor into the flat below the cupboard of cans of food. I shouldn’t starve to death for a month or two! Hehe!
Why did I stock up to ridiculous? What made me suddenly panic so over food stores? Am I going mad?
I’m not sure if it’s Peripheral Neuropathy, Cognitive Impairment Iris, Ménière’s disease, Episodic Ataxia, FND, Receptive Aphasia Phyllis, Diabetic Dementia, Absence seizures, or the Myoclonic seizures that may have caused this stupider-than-usual action on my behalf. Would doing such activities that I’ve not done for so long, like cleaning up, wear me out?
I managed to get the blog posted a little later than usual. And the fatigue started to fall.
THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY!
The intercom rang, and I thought it might be the tinned food I’d also ordered from Amazon.
Life lifted, and a smile came over my craggy, aged face. (It does that occasionally).
It was my treasured Hristina, the DVT Warfarin Blood Nurse. The heart beat a little faster, and my Angel was soon in the flat.
I mentioned that I’d run out of Enoxaparin-filled hypos. She said if they need you to start stabbing your stomach 8 times a day, they will ensure you get some. That put my mind at rest. She took the blood for testing, and we spoke of something else, but with my heart beating and eyes so busy watching and listening to Hristina—such a wonderfully calming person and so kind. 🤎
I started this blog in the late afternoon.
Then, the Amazon tinned foods arrived!
I then had to store these tinned meals on the floor!
It’s horrible having a lack of control!
Carer ‘Joe’ arrived and was as aghast as I was at the canned food I bought! No medications were needed. They were, but I forgot to ask for the Peptac and Codeine. I managed to make a brew of tea, and when I got back with it, one of the regular patches was in the regular place on the carpet. Yet I could not find any urine spillages on my legs or slippers. One of the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, grotesque succubae, Whoopsiedangleplops, ailments, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, Accifauxpas, rent increases, food price hikes, Starmer robbing all we pensioners, and other Fata Morganas, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind, logicalty and depressions!
Carer ‘Joe’ came on his teatime visit.
Embarrassingly, the pee-time one as well, haha!
He convinced me that it was not urine because there was no smell. He suggested that I may have spilt the catheter, which needed spring water.
He’s got the measure of me now, he has! Hehe!
Back to this blog. The eyes faded, and the fatigue returned almost instantly. I was so tired and weary.
I foolishly tried to continue this blog. It was farcical and hopeless, so I gave up. So, I’ll be even further behind by morning. Humph!
I’ll try to stay alert enough to get the comments & WordPress reader read.
I’ll make the meal later.
Aha! I caught the sunset.
Not as good as yesterdays’
But fair for me.
I was expecting a last Carer call, but it’s 21:40hrs now.
I’ve probably got confused. Yes, I think I did. Fool!
Carer ‘Joe’ came a little earlier than usual. I’ve just seen the nocturnal catheter pouch on the chair.
I can’t cope with my decline very well. Tsk!
I’ll get the food in the microwave. I made it up in the tray earlier, so it should be ready in the oven in ten minutes. It consists of minced beef in gravy, sliced water chestnuts, pickled beetroots, red onions, tomatoes, garden peas, and a can of potatoes. It is also seasoned with vinegar, Worcester Sauce, and thick sliced bread for dunking. I hope it all goes well. I’ll let you know in the morning!
Good Moring!
The meal looked and smelled amazing!
I made too much. But ate ¾ of it.
NICE!
Into the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, catheter-tube-trapping recliner, to watch a nature documentary. I’m glad to say that I didn’t get to see it.
This was due to my drifting off to sleep.
There were far too many waking-ups, but I did get back off quickly each time.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Keep Smiling! Or, not like. Hehehe!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – 
Hand Washing.
I’m fed up with this!
Ankles, lower legs much clearer today.
Afternoon kitchen shot.
I didn’t rise until gone 0630hrs this morning. I’d had a long sleep again, broken, but not all that often. I reckon I got six hours in, and that was on the incommodious, uncomfortable, cumbrous, toe-curling, cringe-making, second or third-hand bought from the Oxfam Charity shop, Cathleen-Catheter-Tube-Crushing, hurtful for Harold’s Haemorrhoids, germ-ridden, horrendously grungy, uncomfortable, not-working recliner.
I felt a little perky when I got up and decided to clear the waste bins, etc. I
Took a snap of the morning view out of the kitchenette window. I was hit by another of the odd seizures where I knew what was happening, but I was unsure why or what.
to ensure I was not 
I wasted no time in taking advantage. I went to take another kitchen window photo and used the speed mop to clean the disgustingly dirty kitchenette floor—I hope I’ve not left it sticky again. Then, I took another snap of the late morning view.
My beloved tree copse, looking thin still.
Close up of the battling for life leaves.
Even closer & higher, the crows
It must have been many hours ago when I mopped it up; there is no chance it could still be wet. What a plonker! Still, I took another shot at the pathway I could no longer get into Woodthorpe Park. Spit!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I’m handwashing again. I laundered two Kaghoules and some socks, hung them in the wet room, and turned on the heater. 
The teeth & gums bled. 
Medications went okay, well all apart from the fingal lesion, but I soon stopped the flow.
The fridage has never been fuller. This is due to my expert skills and ability to carry out, repeatedly; 
after 
. By way of doing food orders that I can’t even remember doing. Usually, I end up throwing food I can’t afford to away weekly. 
Sure enough, I wandered off and decided to open a can of water chestnuts, slice them up, and add them to three jars: one of pickled mushrooms, one of sweet and sour sauce, and one of black bean sauce.
affair. 
.
. I cannot believe today’s rate of mistakes, Whoopsies, Accifauxpa, cock-ups and sheer bad luck!
It’s not easy mopping and hoovering with the stick, mop, bucket, and hoover, especially in my current state: back angina, Glaucoma Gladys fading, and fogging my eyesight. Which is typical for this time of day. Usually starts to fade around 17:00hrs
I got the photo to go on late Monday morning.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
again. I’d run out of the cortisone cream. 
Bled a little 
more, I tipped over the bowl I was putting on the floor to stand in while shaving. Bending down to clear up the mess, and 
acne & eczema cream this time. I’d searched the med
ication drawers and found a partly filled tube of a different name. But it had a use-by date on it of… Hard to believe, I know, that it’s November 2019!
it wasn’t so bad—up until now, anyway. Things took a dip after the young girl Carer called
When the Iceland order arrived, I only took one photo of the whole fridge. I didn’t bother taking more because I knew the chances of using them lay within the corrupt power of my old, in-need-of-help, ailing, terminally ill computer.
I did notice that when someone came and I put in the repaired hearing aids, I could hear the wall clock ticking and other sounds I could not recognise. Haha!
By the time I finished the meal, it was past midnight. Three oven-baked bacon cobs. This is a terrible photo. I wish I had not bothered with taking it now!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Joe started sorting out the junk room one. He got a lot done in half an hour. He went down to collect the laundry from the dryer, pointing out that he’d have to bring it up part-wet because he’d done his time. I asked him to leave it and that I’d fetch it later. “Don’t Forget To!” he said.
Depressed, sick & tired of bothering to do anything, but why, you ask (I hope), I’ll tell and show you…
The food had dried hard & mega-crispy.
I ate it with some slices of Milk Roll Bread and dunked it in the sauce. Which were the highlights of the meal.
>>>>><<<<<
nothing had changed from when 
was with me. No questioning the facts. That 
.
This first photo saved alright, but I lost several others.
Two hours later.
Another half-hour.
After sunset shot. Nice!
I’m unsure when or why I took this one. The bladder waters. It is possible that it is an older photo that was missed or that it was used earlier.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Gawd Strewth!
Morning.
Minutes later.
I sorted the clothes scattered all over the place to dry when they had been returned from the laundry. Taking this shot caused me a nasty near-tumble. Thankfully, Carer Ahmed helped me.
Bottom field and houses with some people who have family, can walk unaided, get their Glaucoma operated on, clean their wetrooms, possible have a computer or know how to get help with it when it plays up, maybe they don’t have 
a mechanical heart aorta, legs bandaged to counter the attentions of 
, both 
& 
giving way, 
in both knees, 
, 
, 
, 
, both their hearing aid broken at the same time. With 
, 
, 
, suffer from 
, 
, Taking Tumbles, 
a day, to keep the doctor away, 
, 
, 
, 
, 
, 
, 
, 
, use a 
, or take about two hours to get their 
done, or have 
, 
, 
, 
,
Is it a sticking valve, a present after the heart operation, or 
?
It’s brightening up a bit.
Ablutions medications were sorted.
Taken from the computer chair through the balcony. Taking this, Anne Gyna kicked off.
Lovely tasting nosh.
Many figures to be seen in these clouds.
Sister Jane in her early years! c.1953?
Sister Jane in my flat. 2021
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Nocturnal waking shade.
Morning view
Handwashed.
Titivated the room while waiting.
The washer filter was in a bad state.
Back down to report to the commandant’s office.
who never really got me as profoundly or as far as he had been doing over the last week. A blessed relief, that was!
was absent. More to do; handwashing, ablutionings, feet need washing and medicating, and a dodgy shave is required; when I miss a day’s shaving, the risk of cuts increases…
Early evening view.
Milk Rolls Bread sarnies are made with lashings of the delicious Flora no-butter butter, and some Marmite was spread on the bread.
And some pickled beetroot. And tucked into the meal!
A cloudless multicoloured sky!
In the dawn, and it was well gone 15:00hrs before. DDDD and the Mini-S
I could see things (Seeing things in clouds, Pareidoliaing).
A Cornish pastie, beetroots and French fries.
I managed to get this after-sunset photo to go on in the morning. It’s quite a different aspect in this one.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –