Woodthorpe Hospital

INCHIE TODAY: Monday 27th February 2023

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INCHIE CARTOON

ALL THE MISTAKES IN THE ODE ABOVE WERE NATURALLY INTENTIONAL. Ahem!

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I woke and had to force myself not to nod off again. The ablutionisationing just had to be done early today. So as to try and get the Sunday blog finished and get through the marathon shower[shaving and shi…, erm Porcelain Throne Sessioning done. get dressed and all the paperwork etc., ready for the trip to the hospital done in time. A challenge? Yes!
But for a man of my calibre, brave, sophisticated, on the point of being heroic. Such a challenge is welcome. Yes, a two-hour-plus struggle, yet I relish such things. Indeed, I crave them!
Please bear in mind I have not yet taken my medications.

On fumbling my way free of the clutches and crumb-containing aged, grotty-looking c1966 made, charity-shop-bought, horribly beige-coloured, £300, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, non-operational, acne-giving, virus-breeding, rickety, easy-to-fall-out-of recliner…

Signs of much nocturnal nibbling having taken place were found on and around the waste bin at the side of the chair. Ahem!

I tackled the night bag detached.

A smidge dark, traces of some blood in there?

The bag was filling up quickly, but it looked a slightly better colour.
I was planning to shower, so I thought I’d get rid of some urine in case it came on again while I was in the shower.

The teggies were done, and I got my feet in the bowl on the floor soaking in Dettol and was about to start shaving… the was suddenly needed. So it was to be – But what a messy affair!
Of course, by the time I’d cleaned things up, the water in the bowl had gone cold. No problem, I’ll empty it down the WC and refill it… Did I say No Problem? acci-whoop I dropped the bowl. Had to clean things up again, but I was undaunted. Little did I know what dropsies lay in wait for me later in the day, as well! I got the shaving done with only three little cuts,
I reached up to close the shower curtain…

I felt a little discomfort in the armpit… I got the camera to try and get a photo of it…
A right red mark in there, and all the hairs had disappeared???

Was dried off with paper towels.

All looked well with the contraption.

I got things medicated, dropping the ear-holes olive oil and spilling much of it on the floor. Got dressed and off to the kitchen to get the kettle on. I knocked the saucepan off of the stove top when I dropped the milk bottle… I have to report that; There’s more to come later… Tsk!

I took a reasonably decent photo of the blue morning view.

Carer Richard arrived. Got the medications done, but he did not look very well. I felt guilty asking him to help in putting my socks on. Poor lad looked proper poor;y to me. Fingers crossed for him. He a grand chap.

I got the paperwork checked, including the times of the lift. Got myself downstairs to wait for the Easy-Lift minibus. Jenny was down there sorting some of her charity work to be collected, bless her cotton socks. Lovely to see her. The van arrived, and the lady got me to the hospital with no bother. Thank you.
I’d not taken the camera with me, cause it’s bigger than the new ones and would be awkward to use and keep safe. I got these two photos from the web when I got home.

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I got inside and joined the queue for the receptionist. A nice lady greeted me, and I gave her the paperwork, which she checked, and told me someone e would be down to see me shortly. I thanked her and moved into a seat as instructed. Remembered that I’d not got my mask on (Covid), so got it on post-haste. After a minute or two, Mr Mann came to me, checked m name and commanded (I’m not joking), to follow him, which was not easy as he’d got a good rate of speed on him. Into his office, sat down, and I was out and going back to the reception in… I’d estimate five minutes max.
He got annoyed when I could not hear what he was saying. But he only asked me three questions anyway. I think they were; how long have you had the catheter on? 8-9 weeks! Have you had a bladder scan? Yes! He asked a third question that I had to guess. 
Then he said; That’s it then; we’ll see how you go when they take it off. You’ll not see me again! Very nice!
Back to the reception area to await the lift home. It was due in about an hour or so. I got the pen and crossword book out and gave it a go for gouty minutes or so. It was hard work reading the clues, but I enjoyed it. Even if I didn’t get many answers, it kept my brain going.

I got the pains in Little Inchie, and I knew that the catheter bag must be full and filling the tube with nowhere to go. I couldn’t check it, because it would mean taking off my trousers.
I thought I’d join the queue again to ask if it was possible for me to use the WC to empty the bag. But the kind lady who greeted me came over to me and asked if I was waiting for a lift or do I want her to call anyone. Kind! I explained my unfortunate condition, and she got two… I say two nurses who took me to the closet and emptied the pouch ♥!
Not only that, but as I was about to go with them, the Easy Link minibus arrived. The kind lady said you get your bag seen to; I’ll tell the diver what’s happening. She made me feel important. Unlike the Doctor, who knew I was an NHS imposter and had no qualms about looking and talking down to me.
The two nurses, by the way, I think, were in the photo from the web. Fourth and sixth from the left. ♥♥♥

The driver, chappie, was patient with me and soon had me back at the flats. I gave him drinkies from the three-wheeled-walker trolley basket.

I met Carer Carol-Anne in the lift.
She sorted the meds for me..

Dropped a mug of tea!

All clean up.

SOD ME!
AGAIN!

Peed off now!

Started A pan of vegetable stew.
Knocked the knife box off of the ledge when taking photos.

AGAIN!
Knocked the box off!!!

Great space-related shots? Hehe!

Later…

Carer Charly.

Time for Food!

Oh, no, it isn’t!

Carer Richard Arrived. Very tired and not looking well at all, poor lad. He got the night pouch attached to the , and he gave me some Peptac. I got him a cold drink of spring water to help cool him down. Richard was sweating and had a croaking voice. I fear he may have to rest and see his doctor soon. Fingers crossed!
Hope he can get through the day; bless him.

Time for Food!

It started with a can of cheapo Asda vegetable soup and a can of tomatoes. I seasoned it with some BBQ marinade, sea salt & Oxo cubes. I added some peas and potatoes from the slow cooker. Then cooked some potato cubes in the oven until nice and crispy (the ones that Richard rescued as he arrived), crispy hard on the outside, and added them to the saucepan of vegetable delights. It was a struggle getting it prepared, what with the four-pronged walking stick and carrying the night pouch about with me. I did manage one more , spilt some soup on the kitchen floor while dishing it up.

Not that it bothered me or got me grinding my teeth, cursing venomously, encouraged self-loathing, nearly making me cry, or spitting blood…

Then, the feasting started!
Somehow or other, I ate the entire bowlful, and it was a large bowlful.
I enjoyed it and even went into the kitchen afterwards to wash the dishes and check if anything had been missed in my previous cleaning up.
All went well… apart from I’d left the cold tap running, the hob heat on and dropped and broke the sauce pot washing up.
ARGH! An irritated, self-annoyed Inchie could then not get off to sleep… well, not for ages, anyway. Grrr!

INCHIE TODAY: Saturday 18th February 2023

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Today, I received two letters. Neither of which exactly perked me up, cheered me up or made me sing or yodel with pure joy.
But first, I’m afraid this is another rushed blog. Due to the hours spent sorting out the mail in hate form of four A4 pages of the very small print of details required by the hospital for the upcoming operation on the Prostate that needed to be filled in. But, I made a right mess of it.
THe Carer who came pointed out that I could do it on the Internet.
So, I did, and that took me over an hour and a half to get right! Had to ring Sister Jane to confirm her address and telephone number. But got it done and tried to send it, but it wouldn’t have it.
So I double-checked that I’d filled everything in properly.
Which, of course, I hadn’t! There was a disclaimer box that had to be clicked on. So, I clicked on it. Another messy day!
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I got out of the recliner, caught my balance, and went off to the porcelain Throne. Messy! Very Messy!
Checked the batteries and made sure the Fuji was working.

Took a snap from the window.

Stripped t get ready to go to get the ablutions done.
The toes had lost their brown colouring but were more twisted and swollen.

07:40hrs: I started the Ablutionings.
My teeth were cleaned, my nose cleared, and I shaved while I was standing in a bowl of soapy water and Dettol. 
Eye drops in, medicated certain delicate areas. I actually felt worn out; the whole session took ages. I took a photo of the wrist alert bands

Right wrist...
Left wrist… Which meant after looking at the clock, that I’d spent
erm… 08:55 now, started at 07:40hrs – that was good for me!
Smug-Mode Engaged!

The two errant toes were stinging a bit.

Blimey sunshine out!

Carer Adele arrived a little late, not that it mattered in the slightest to me.
She’s collected the two letters from the door box on coming in.
One was a bill from Easy-Link.


The other (above). was the dreaded questionnaire from the Woodthorpe Hospital. I have to fill it in and register before they can see me.
It cost me over four hours to get it all done!

Carers came and went, but I worked like a good un trying to get this blog done… I had to keep stopping for the carers visits, phone calls, answer emails that came in, emptying the daub pouch of the catheter, and forever adjusting the tubing that was giving me some right bother; the bleeding had not stopped since the first accidental pull on the tube. Not bleeding badly, more like a little leak. But it keeps drying, and when I move, the dried blood cracks and starts flowing again; Humph!

Nothing to eat yet. Not that I want anything. I did nibble and dunk a few biscuits each time I made a brew… although five of the mugs of tea went cold cause I was concentrating on doing the graphics.

Tea time, and I went to make another brew, intent on making sure I drank this one. I didn’t. Cause I espied a slimmer of light on the horison – Aha… Sunset was coming, methinks!.

I took a closer shot.

Over the next half-hour, I took several photos of the wonderful sky until the short sunsetting had gone.

Finally….
Ta-Ta Sunshine!

Get something to eat now… I hope!

A much-doctored bowl of veg soup.
I was halfway through it when the new Carer Zika arrived.
He was late arriving, and muggings here forgot he’d not been.
I am a plonker! He’s a nice lad.
With chatting with him as he got the medications sorted, I also forgot all about the night pouch that needed fitting to the on the .

He took the waste bags and checked the taps for me as he departed.

Then I got the dish, and cutlery washed and settled down in the second-hand, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, microorganism-microbe producing, gungy, moth-eaten, beige-coloured, non-working, bacillus encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, c1968 recliner.

Another much-interrupted sleep. For I had to keep checking and emptying the smaller day bag, if needed, overnight. Lost count of the times I had to get up and free the urine into the bucket. Tsk! I think seeing a new face and nattering a little helped me forget about the night pouch.

I also got a visit from Dizzy Dennis every time I bent down to undo the release valve. A little disconcerting they were.

TTFN

INCHIE TODAY: Friday 17th February 2023

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Foreboding: What does that really mean?
I’ll look it up; just a moment, please…
Ah, yes, hats the word.
Today has been a get nothing done, but, been a busy all-day scenario.
A new medical appointment at the Woodthorpe Hospital arrived via a long complicated difficult-to-hear telephone call from the Doctors surgery.

For an Initial Prostate investigation. I think it was called a TURP procedure, so I looked it up to know what’s what to expect.
“Transurethral resection of the prostate (TURP)”
Further investigationings came up with:
In transurethral resection of the prostate (TURP), a combined visual and surgical instrument (resectoscope) is inserted through the urethra, where it’s surrounded by prostate tissue. An electrical loop cuts away excess prostate tissue to improve urine flow. Oh, good!
I made nine phone calls today: Easy-Link to try and book a lift to and from the Woodthorpe Hospital for the procedure – No chance, told to ring back on Monday morning. I’m hoping that I remember to!

The last five procedures I’ve had all came on a Friday afternoon or evening. Easy (Easy? Haha!) link finish early Fridays, do not have anyone on Saturdays and Sundays. But I’m not complaining about them, they are a charity with wonderful kind volunteers.

I had eight phone calls come in today, and every single one came when I was either in the wet room or kitchen. Thus did not hear them or heard late and missed them… well, five of them. I also made nine calls out. Five being to get through to Easy-Link, which didn’t work out, did it?

A most frustrating day. Thinking about it; nothing went right at all that I can remember. I just got more and more frustrated as the day wore on, grinding me into a Dracula depression.

It all started when I woke up!
I could at least stand up a little easier this morning. But hobbling, more than walking nowadays, was dodgy as the swelling of the ankles and toes was throwing what bit of balance I’d got out of sync.

I took the above abysmally bad photo of the right foot… Dropped the Fuji camera, and the batteries fell out. Could I find them all? No! I found them all, bar one. Where it went is still a mystery as I type this. So, no photos for the blog. Although, many hours (18:00hrs) later, I trod on the escaped battery that had rolled under an overlapping chair cover and found it as I ended up on the floor – luckily right next to the Inchy-Elephant-Lifting-Aid, the recliner, os I got back up actually thinking… Aha, I can use the camera now.
No idea why, but it let me take one shot of the sky clouds and refused to be turned on after that at all. I shall have a look for the spare batteries again later. Maybe if I can find them, they will save the day? Prevent me from topping myself with frustration? Only joking!

Carer Kara came, I do like her. But she looked a little tense today, hope she’s alright. Managed to get a laugh from her before she departed.

The one and only Porcelain Throne Session went okay. Yes!

Liberty-Global -Virgin Internet went done for a short while. Well, would you believe that? Amazing, it hadn’t gone down since yesterday!

Carer Sam arrived. Had a mini-natter, and she looked well.

Went to make a brew of Glengettie, and the mobile rang, which of course, I can’t hear when in the kitchen. I caught the last few rings as I got to the phone too late. The receptionist rang me back minutes later, but it was impossible to hear what she was saying as things kept breaking up.
She tried again on the landline. Not perfect, but easier to hear more of what she was saying about the appointment at the hospital.
Then ~I tried ringing Easy-Link. After several failed attempts over the next hour or so, I got through. But there was no one in; they had just closed down for the week. The lady said to ring back on Monday.

Bit of a Panic: Doreen’s fault!

I’d got it mixed up a little, and I thought for a moment that the appointment was for next Monday, so can they supply a lift with such short notice, I thought. Minutes later, it clicked into place, and I realised the Prostate was being inspected on the 27th, not the 20th. Panic-Over!

Care Jozeph, or is it Josef, arrived, and I asked him to see if he could let someone know to remind me on Monday to call Easy-Link. I’m not sure he’ll be in, though, on Monday. I’ll ask the others too.

Hello, Hello, Hello!
I went to wash my tea mug and spilt some water with citric acid in it, and some went into the drawer – I hastily grabbed some kitchen towel and pulled open the drawer…
It was at this precise moment that I remembered where I’d put the Amazon double-A batteries. The moment I saw them lying there in the drawer!
Yeehaa!

I got them into the Fuji and, with a certain disappointment, realised that there was no sunset to see tonight! But took this shot. I had some wonderful shots these last three nights as well.

Then to make sure things were working Fuji-wise, I
took this shot of the main room.
Getting on now.

I pressed on with the blogging duties.
Sad that there were not many photographs.
And I thought I’ll make it up to my
many followers and fans and put some of my
favourite sunset pictures of the week on.
I hope they both like them.
Here they are:

And the week before:

That’s yer lot.

I’ll get something to eat now…
Oh, no, I won’t.

Carer Sarah arrived to put the night pouch on to
No time for a chat; the gal was busy.

Now I’ll get some sarnies made. Vegan ham,
on oven-baked rolls with BBQ sauce.
Sounds okay to me; better just make sure
I’ve got some plasters before I start to slice
the pretend meat or burn my fingers
in the oven. Hehehe!

Vegan ham, fresh Kenyan peas, two rolls with Marmite
and cheese, dunked with the ham into some BBQ sauce (Of course). A pot of cheap strawberry jam cheesecake, and eaten along with a bag (Or two) of the delicious, irresistible Marmite crisps!

It was well gone midnight again before I got settled into the aged, grotty-looking c1966 made, charity-shop-bought, horribly beige-coloured, £300, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, non-operational, acne-giving, virus-breeding, rickety, easy-to-fall-out-of recliner.

But Sweet Morpheus soon had me… Zzzing!