Inchcock’s Welcome to his new Home ‘Pack’ Courtesy of Nottingham Homes.

 

Inchcock’s Welcome to his new Home ‘Pack’

Courtesy of Nottingham Homes.

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I managed to finally get around to perusing the paperwork I was given in me ‘Welcome to your new home’ pack from the nice Nottingham City Homes people.

There were a few leaflets and pamphlets included in the pack like…

Free Points for Paint:

“We have awarded you 50 decorating gift points to spend in the catalogue given to you by the lettings officer.

Fine, I got three tins of paint and a steel tape measure ruler. courtesy of Steve from Age UK ordering it for me. I await its arrival and the pleasure of paying the Age UK Decorator the £189 to slap it on for me (Fair price though) – as I am incapable of doing this simple task nowadays due to me ailments like. Tsk! Most appreciated gesture.

Customer scorecard:

To be filled in with your response to the services provided on a 1>10 basis for each service. With stamped addressed envelope to return it in too!

How to get the most from your electric heating and hot water system:

A rather confusing leaflet with guidance on how to manipulate the controls – being as the controls on mine have worn away through age and use – it is no wonder I was a tad confused!

Ways to pay your rent at Nottingham City Homes:

Direct debit ticked from the list of seven ways to pay – with a Rent reference number, an Occupational Therapists telephone number? and a number to call the kind Council Tax people so they can charge me double tax one for this dump and one for the new dump. Bless them!

Immersion heating scalding – tenants deaths:

Kindly pointing out the danger signs of immersion failure to watch for:

Excessively hot water coming out of the hot taps – Excessive noise or bubbling from the hot water cylinder – Hot water coming from cold water taps – Cold water cistern splits emptying its contents through the ceiling of the room below. Thanks for that I thought.

General Health Safety and Security:

If you carry our any work without the written permission of the Nottingham City Homes we may insist you put it back the way it was, and carry out the work ourselves and charge you for it.

ID Cards:

Always ask workmen for identification.

Scaffolding:

Please do not work yourself from our scaffolding.

Condensation:

This is caused by damp air touching a cold surface.

You can reduce condensation by: Closing kitchen and bathroom doors to prevent steam from going into colder rooms – Open bathroom and bathroom windows when cooking or washing – Not using paraffin or liquid gas heaters and Not blocking air-vents. Well the bathroom I have has no window, and the vent in the kitchen is awaiting repair by Nottingham City Homes?

Gas and Carbon Monoxide:

If you smell gas… There is no gas connected to the block of flats?

Get a Carbon Monoxide monitor fitted in your home.

Protecting Your Home:

A full colour booklet – Common sense really.

Tenancy Agreement: 27 page A4 full colour booklet:

Unless you are transferring form a secure tenant, or an assured non-short-hold tenancy with a registered social landlord which has lasted for more than twelve months you will start as an ‘Introductory Probation Tenant’.

Your tenancy will last for one year, unless you were an assured short-hold tenant of a registered social landlord or an introductory tenant of another property immediately before commencing this tenancy.  :

In the event of our taking action to extend or to end your tenancy you will usually have the opportunity to: Discuss matters with your housing patch manager or an officer from Nottingham City Homes Central Rents team.

A page about Reviewing decisions and where to appeal to.

Information for secure tenants.

As an Introductory Tenant you do not have the right to: Buy your home – sub-let part or all of your home – Take in a lodger or Apply to change your home.

Full rent includes:

Flat rent. Support charge. CCTV. Communal lighting. TV licence. Communal facilities. Care-taking. Reference number.

Your Rights as a Tenant – Sub-letting – Lodgers

Three A4 pages of confusing legal claptrap. As a 

What you must do as a tenant:

Not applicable pages to me – I’m only a ‘Introductory Probation Tenant’

Smoking in your flat:

‘Smoking’ refers to smoking tobacco or anything which contains tobacco, or smoking any other substance. For your safety, always ensure any smoking materials are fully extinguished before leaving a room.

Smoking in communal areas, on grass, enclosed corridors, stairwells, lifts, entrance area is illegal and as such if prohibited.

Decorations and cleanliness:

You are responsible for keeping your home clean and in a hygienic condition. Free of refuse and to a reasonable standard of decoration.

If you fail we will enter your home t carry our necessary works and charge you the costs incurred.

Conduct on your home:

You or anyone residing in or visiting your home Must Not:

Take or abstract electricity from the mains illegally.

Tamper or damage electricity supplies, meters, smoke detectors or any other equipment.

Store or use inflammable or explosive liquids, gases or tools in your home.

Store motorbikes or mini motorbikes in your home or communal areas.

Run a business from your home.

Use your home or neighbourhood for any illegal activity.

Allow your home to become overcrowded by allowing others to live there.

Allow n accumulation of personal property in your home, that may obstruct an inspection by or on behalf of Nottingham City Homes, cause structural damage to the property or pose an environmental risk.

To do anything that causes a health risk and/or safety risk to yourself or others.

Well that covers anything and everything I think?

Antisocial behaviour, nuisance, harassment, racial harassment and domestic violence, drugs: 

Three pages of what not to do. (I wish they had put illegal drugs though)

Pets, Extra Condition for Flat tenants:

You must use the rubbish chute or refuse bins provided for normal household waste.

Do not try to force large items down the chute or leave them in communal areas.

You must make proper arrangements to dispose of medical waste, needles, syringes or sanitary items.

You must not keep a dog or dogs.

You must keep balconies clean, free of obstructions and debris.

You must not cause nuisance, annoyance or disturb neighbours in any way.

You must not leave items in communal areas to your block or place items on your balcony.

You must not let animals deposit faeces on your balcony of communal areas.

You must not throw anything out of the windows or from your balcony.

You must not smoke in enclosed communal areas, stairwells, lifts or entrance areas.

You must not maliciously sett off or interfere with anything provided for your or any other parsons health and safety: including but not limited to smoke detectors, fire alarm systems, fir extinguishers, dry or wet risers, fire doors or door closers, emergency lighting, door entry or sprinkler systems.

Section on additional services you can pay for:

Furniture:

What the council may do if you break clauses 3.6 to 3.14:

Your right to live in your flat:

Termination:

If you breach any of the obligations set out in this tenancy agreement, the actions me may take includes, but is not limited to: sending you a warning letter, court action against you of which we will issue court proceedings to seek an order for you to pay the costs.

There was another five sections, and five more booklets… but I’m too weary now to bother… Tsk!

Oh, and a Direct Debit receipt.

By Inchie

78 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Mechanical ticker valve, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Stephany, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis, FND, ... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Diabetes 2, Leg-Ulcer-Ulrich, Cartilage Chloe & Carole and am flat-bound. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!

11 comments

  1. Marissa Bergen – Burbank, Ca – This blog is a semi auto-biographical view of my life, beginning as a rocker chick from Brooklyn, moving on to playing in a punk band on New York's Lower East Side, to my current lot in life as a working mother of two, now living in Los Angeles. I love writing because you can be whoever you want to be when you write. Therefore, I would never want to pigeon-hole myself too much in my blog. However, I don't think I will ever deviate too much from what is innately in my blood, that being humor and sarcasm. Recently I have been turning more and more to poetry. I like poetry because it let's you say so much more with so much less, so much more about so little, and it also distances you from the subject matter, making you much less likely to offend someone, which I would probably otherwise do on a daily basis.
    Marissa Bergen says:

    Where do I sign?

    1. Inchy – Nottingham. UK. – 78 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Mechanical ticker valve, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Stephany, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis, FND, ... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Diabetes 2, Leg-Ulcer-Ulrich, Cartilage Chloe & Carole and am flat-bound. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!
      Inchcock says:

      You don’t need to sign in gal, just flash yer twinkling mile at me at the door – and yer can come in anytime yer wants… oh, hang on I’d better take that back. Claus 215b and 61.4 will be offended and I’ll get booted out before I get in proper like! Hehe!

      1. Marissa Bergen – Burbank, Ca – This blog is a semi auto-biographical view of my life, beginning as a rocker chick from Brooklyn, moving on to playing in a punk band on New York's Lower East Side, to my current lot in life as a working mother of two, now living in Los Angeles. I love writing because you can be whoever you want to be when you write. Therefore, I would never want to pigeon-hole myself too much in my blog. However, I don't think I will ever deviate too much from what is innately in my blood, that being humor and sarcasm. Recently I have been turning more and more to poetry. I like poetry because it let's you say so much more with so much less, so much more about so little, and it also distances you from the subject matter, making you much less likely to offend someone, which I would probably otherwise do on a daily basis.
        Marissa Bergen says:

        Oh, who cares about clauses? Live a little!

      2. Inchy – Nottingham. UK. – 78 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Mechanical ticker valve, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Stephany, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis, FND, ... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Diabetes 2, Leg-Ulcer-Ulrich, Cartilage Chloe & Carole and am flat-bound. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!
        Inchcock says:

        Well, even as a child I cared about Santa Claus… ah, I see now… Sod em eh? Hehehe!

      3. Marissa Bergen – Burbank, Ca – This blog is a semi auto-biographical view of my life, beginning as a rocker chick from Brooklyn, moving on to playing in a punk band on New York's Lower East Side, to my current lot in life as a working mother of two, now living in Los Angeles. I love writing because you can be whoever you want to be when you write. Therefore, I would never want to pigeon-hole myself too much in my blog. However, I don't think I will ever deviate too much from what is innately in my blood, that being humor and sarcasm. Recently I have been turning more and more to poetry. I like poetry because it let's you say so much more with so much less, so much more about so little, and it also distances you from the subject matter, making you much less likely to offend someone, which I would probably otherwise do on a daily basis.
        Marissa Bergen says:

        Yes, Santa might be the only one I cared about as well!

  2. Doug Thomas – Alliance, NE – I retired from nearly 36 years in a factory that produces hydraulic and industrial hoses. That is the short of it. The most interesting thing I've done is serve in the US Army as a motion picture photographer. I was stationed in then-West Germany in Kaiserslautern, Kleber Kaserne, in the 69th Signal Company (Photo). I was sent all over western Europe filming military exercises and other less interesting things. This enabled me to become a "bier kenner", someone knowledgeable about beer. Haw! I was much younger then, and could handle the wear and tear. The most interesting thing that happened to me happened in 1980, the first day of the new year: I spotted a rara avis in my backyard. A phainopepla, a member of the silky flycatcher family! It stayed around for two months, long enough for me to photograph it through a garage window not more than 2m from a birdbath to which it came each day. The photos, sent to the state ornithological organization and their rare bird report committee, established me as the first and only person to have seen this particular bird in my state. Records for my state go back to Lewis and Clarke's western expedition, so that gives you the context and perspective through which other birders view my record. You should too! It was a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence. It lead to a decade of uninterrupted bliss, tracking down birds in the field with other people of a feather. The worst thing that happened to me is called Wegener's granulomatosis. Oh dear! This is where it becomes difficult! WG is a form of vasculitis that you have for life once it develops. It has no known cause, though scientists work as I write to try to determine why it occurs. My story is long and I am tired: More details later! It is a fatal disease without proper care. With proper care, people still can die! One last detail: a weggie (pronounced "wegg-ee"), is a person with Wegener's granulomatosis. It is an Australian construction, to the best of my knowledge, and suits me better than being known in perpetuity as a "WG patient". In 2016, a Wegener's flare mostly wiped out what kidney function I still had, and I went through a two month process of hospitalization and rehabilitation before I could return home to my two cats, Andy and Dougy. My neighbors across the lane took care of them while i was gone, with a childhood friend who substituted for my neighbors when they had to be out of town. The major change brought about by the flare: I now am on dialysis three times a week. Fortunately for me, my local general hospital has a very modern, well staffed dialysis unit. With a nurse-to-patient ratio of nearly one-one, it is the best of five dialysis sites I've been in. The recliners are even heated! Since these units are typically kept ice berg cold, you can see I feel like I am in heaven! (Well, not yet, but you get the idea!)
    weggieboy says:

    “…most of all, welcome to your new home! Yes, you may breathe now.”

    1. Inchy – Nottingham. UK. – 78 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Mechanical ticker valve, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Stephany, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis, FND, ... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Diabetes 2, Leg-Ulcer-Ulrich, Cartilage Chloe & Carole and am flat-bound. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!
      Inchcock says:

      Thanks Weggie. Well almost breathe now Sir… this being a temporary two-residence dwelling lark is very confusing. Hehehe! Paying two Council taxes is not nice either – hope when I eventually get into the flat proper like – I can get rid of the flea-pit house quickly and get some cash in so as to keep paying the rent for the flat. Tsk!
      Take care mate.

  3. Tessa – United States – My name is Tessa Dean and I am an author and blogger. My writing styles vary and I love writing using prompts. I am also writing my first book, a Memoir entitled "Government Property - A Memoir of a Military Wife".  This is being published on the blog rather than the traditional way. I am putting up chapters as I go along. I keep my blog filled with useful content, stories, and poems. Plenty to keep you busy. I have also been interviewed by blogs and had other posts published on many different blogs. I also wrote a series of articles on Bipolar Disorder for IBPF (International Bipolar Foundation). I am in my 60’s and disabled which allows me plenty of time to write to my heart’s content. I live in southern New Jersey and have 3 children and 5 grandchildren. My oldest grandchild is a Sargent in the United States Marine Corps.
    Tessa says:

    Did you sign your life away in there somewhere? 🙂

    1. Inchy – Nottingham. UK. – 78 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Mechanical ticker valve, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Stephany, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis, FND, ... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Diabetes 2, Leg-Ulcer-Ulrich, Cartilage Chloe & Carole and am flat-bound. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!
      Inchcock says:

      Thanks Tessa. I think I might have now you mention it Tessa. Still, I’ve had the kitchen window replaced yesterday, and have the plumbers to meet there later today to see if they can sort out the blocked loo and brown water coming out of the cold taps.
      A for all the get-outs in the paperwork for the Council, they have to cover theselves I suppose? Take care pet.

      1. Tessa – United States – My name is Tessa Dean and I am an author and blogger. My writing styles vary and I love writing using prompts. I am also writing my first book, a Memoir entitled "Government Property - A Memoir of a Military Wife".  This is being published on the blog rather than the traditional way. I am putting up chapters as I go along. I keep my blog filled with useful content, stories, and poems. Plenty to keep you busy. I have also been interviewed by blogs and had other posts published on many different blogs. I also wrote a series of articles on Bipolar Disorder for IBPF (International Bipolar Foundation). I am in my 60’s and disabled which allows me plenty of time to write to my heart’s content. I live in southern New Jersey and have 3 children and 5 grandchildren. My oldest grandchild is a Sargent in the United States Marine Corps.
        Tessa says:

        Sounds like a lot of work still has to be done.

      2. Inchy – Nottingham. UK. – 78 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Mechanical ticker valve, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Stephany, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis, FND, ... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Diabetes 2, Leg-Ulcer-Ulrich, Cartilage Chloe & Carole and am flat-bound. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!
        Inchcock says:

        Too true Tessa flower. It scares me sometimes thinking of what has to be done – I’d have never coped without the help of Steve from Age UK and me mate Bill.
        But keeping busy helps me not to think too much about it… if yer know what I mean? TTFN thanks Tessa.

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