Inchcock Looking Back at his Mam: In imitation rhyme

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Reminiscing about our Mam, in Rhyme

Mummy asked the midwife, to throw me in the river Trent,

Looking back, t’was my life’s first big disappointment,

She said she couldn’t afford me and still pay the rent,

From not paying the rent, she never did relent,

Sister Jane, to live with a rich relative, was sent,

Older brother Pete, joined the army to escape the torment!

She also ran away, absconded for years, yes, off she went!

– – – – – – –

I can’t say she was a good Mother or wife nor,

She spent most of her time on the run from the law,

She left Dad and me feeling very sore,

She wanted Bingo, betting, money, more and more,

She’d get it anyway, that was for sure!

– – – – – – –

The police caught her, and off to court she went,

For her crimes of conning folk and not paying her rent,

For character references, she forced an adjournment,

Her victim’s character references avoided her immurement,

Released on probation, they got her a new flat, paying her rent,

Her utility bills were paid too, they made them all obsolescent,

Even those who never got back the money to her they had lent,

Threw a celebration party for her, ignoring her criminal intent,

– – – – – – –

Despite all this, the woman was original in her day,

A con-artist of perfection, I really have to say,

Despite her nicking my stuff and her running away,

She could con anyone instantly without hesitation or delay,

She’d give you her last sixpence or chocolate from her Milk Tray,

Although the tanner and choccy came from one of her prey,

She was a crook but unique, I’d have wanted her no other way!

– – – – – – –

When I snuff it or die as it were,

Once again I’ll hopefully see her,

I anticipate my emotions will stir,

What to me would be the clincher,

Is what would I have on me for her to pincher!

See You in a while Mam XXX