Monday 16th March 2020

Azerbaijani: Bazar Ertəsi 16 Mart 2020

02:05hrs: I stirred from my slumber, feeling sedentary, reluctant to move. Jejune thoughts came and went; the brain didn’t want disturbing with anything too important. Nor in the least bit like any conscientious physical or mental activity! The maundering mind mused over puerile irrelevant facts and figures for awhile. The eyelids were heavy, and Borborygmus rumblings and gentle but scarily bubbly-sounding emissions of wind started in unison!

I was just not interested in moving! The dry coughing was annoying me; it prevented me from getting back to sleep! Hehe! Inevitably, the call to the Porcelain Throne arrived.

Off to the wet room, got the stick out of the way, and plumped down on the throne. It was hard-going, but I forced the activity along. I wish I hadn’t now – the pain! One unpleasant mess to clear-up and medicate afterwards. The whole nine-yards of hassle to deal with this morning. What a start to the day!

Little Inchies fungal lesion had been bleeding and was sore. The messy bowl (the Sennas had been working at last, too well!) needed cleaning. The evacuated product required much effort and flushing to get rid of! Which when I was in the middle of sorting things out, the metal four-pronged walking stick was caught with my left foot, and it fell, clouting the right foot big toe. On the way down, it knocked the pen off of the floor cabinet, which flew up in the air. It fell into the toilet without touching the sides, into the mess within! Crying was an option that I barely resisted!

However, I reckon that the pins (legs) were looking betterer than they were yesterday! There was undoubtedly hardly any hassle from Arthur Itis this Monday morning. Anne Gyna and Duodenal Donald were making up for this, though. The stabbing pains from Ann, and the dull droning aches from Donald. As I left the wet room, limping a little, the toe was still a bit tender, I took care in case any dizzies, or loss of balance came on, not to use the stick too close to the right leg. What am I saying? I get them every day! Every hour, or less sometimes! Stop being splenetic Inchcock! (“Okay, Sorry!”) I think the pins will soon be looking healthy again.

To the kitchen, where I was pleased to find I had not left any taps running, fridge door open, or parts of the stove left on! I got the kettle on and took a photographicalisation of the morning view. Made the brew of Glengettie Gold tea, and off to the computer to get the Sunday Diary updated.

I got the computer on and checked first to see if Facebook had been repaired, and I could get back to tending to my beloved photo albums. As if! Third day with no access to collections now. Grrr!

I pressed on doing the Saturday blog and got it finished and posted off. (When I say this, it sound so easy, but took several hours) Then put what few pictures I had on Pinterest. Then went on the WordPress Comments. I checked the Amazon parcels; The one packet of red potato snacks and the 6 packets of Taokaenoi seaweed and the one bottle of Hickory sauce are due today. The absolutely ridiculously priced pack of 12 toilet rolls (I daren’t say what I’m paying, Oh, dearie me), are due on 18th to 20th March. Which was initially 16th, today. Will they ever arrive, or not? A few WUP (Weak-Unwilling-Painful) Mode tyle wee-wees were taken.

I took a break, had a wee-wee, of the WUPT (Weak-Unwilling-Painful-Trickling) so very slowly, variety.

Then got the medicationalisationing sorted out. I remembered I should have made a vial of sample erm… water, for the nurse to collect, so had to fill the sample pot, which was no bother, the trickling is rampant today. Had a guzzle of the over the counter cough medicine as well. Then olive oiled the earholes.

I began on this post. I stopped and went to get the veg in the crock-pot. Onions, I’ve got two more in the fridge. I used the last of the other fresh vegetables up. Mushrooms, onions, and peas, seasoned with a little sea salt, light Soy sauce and vegetable seasoning stock cube. Oh, and a spoonful of mint in vinegar.

Weary-eyed,  I started to do the handwashing. Which went far better than yesterday, no big spillages and no toe-stubbings! Done, wrung and hung, I went to get the ablutions done.

During which, I needed four WUPs (Weak-Unwilling-Painful) Mode tyle wee-wees! But as with the handwashing, the ablutionalisationing went of a lot betterer than Monday’s. A few dropsies, only the toothbrush, razors (2), and the fresh air spray. Moreover, no toe-stubbing and the Sock-Glide tussle was injury-free!

Unfortunately, the chest pains started again as I came out of the wet room. I got the towel on the airer. Then made up three general waste bags and a large recycling one. There was no one about, so I took them to the waste chute.

I came back and had a WUPT (Weak-Unwilling-Painful-Trickling) wee-wee. And decided it might be a good idea if I put the hot tap on instead of the cold one to fill the kettle with, and turned back to fill it. I now have some very artistic little scold-marks on my hand and arm. Frumpworthy Grobblecurses! I got the Savlon cream and used the last of it to ease the tiny blisters, but they all popped when I applied the medication? Now this made wonder. On closer inspection I found the ‘Use-By’ date on the box, to be ‘Oct 2006’! Ah, well, I don’t know how I’m going to get out for some more!

On the computer again. I had a check on the Amazon bits progress for today. Nothing crucial, each one a bit of a treat actually.

Seaweed Snack, which was £1, I could have got packs of six far cheaper, but I thought it was commonsensible to try one first to see if I liked them. Did you see that? A moment’s logicality sneaked in there! Haha! I must not get carried away with it, though!

The toilet rolls I ordered but dare not tell you how much they cost, but TORK-UK company do not do a tracking system apparently.

I went on their website. Tork-UK is a New York owned and based firm, and their prices were a little less for the same thing than Amazon. But, not a lot, as Paul Daniels used to say. I looked up the details about the product, not that there was much of it.

I shall have to work out what those, ‘M’ and ‘MM’ measurements are in English as I know it. Thank heavens for Google. 94mm is 3.7″, and 200mm 7.8″ per sheet, not too bad?

Of course, they have to arrive yet! Wednesday to Friday it says they are due. The lorry might get highjacked? And on Thursday, I have to go to the Podiatrists in the morning for an 08:30hr appointment, I hope it doesn’t arrive while I’m out! Oh dear, I’m worried now! If it comes on Wednesday, that would be the best thing. I’ll be stuck indoors anyway, I can’t go out until Thursday. I will soon need some bread and milk, although I can manage without them really, I suppose. Fresh veg and fruit will be sadly missed. Ah, I think I’ve ordered some of that stuff, from Iceland for tomorrow! I get confused easily, you know!

A leaflet was put through the door, weel, six of them were! I threw five straight into the recycling bag.

But had a read of the Farmfoods one. Unbelievable! They were advertising packs of 18 toilet rolls, @ 3 for £11!!! This may get them stampeded by the ruthless, nasty, hoarders of Nottingham. And will end-up in disaster for them! I hope not! But can already envision the responses from the Brexit-weary, Coronavirus C-90-frazzled, angry muggers, shop-lifters and gang members, even ordinary citizens, will be; after they have hastened to the stores to find they have sold out! A verbal insulting, vicious-marathon and possible blood bath will follow! Mark my words! The poor staff are going to be in for it when they run out of stock!

I rang Sister Jane to tell her of the advert. We had a natter, and things sounded better for her hubby Pete, medically speaking, I’m glad to say. Got a bit of a dizzy while talking to her, and most of the conversation didn’t make it to the memory-box. Phwert!

Back on the computer, but the usual old folk’s weariness was dawning fast. So I gave up, after trying Facebook first. Still no access to my photo albums! Grrr!

I got the chips in the oven and checked the vegetables in the Crock-Pot. The Amazon delivery arrived, and I left them to sort out later and pressed on with the nosh preperationing. And what a nosh it turned out to be. An 8/10for flavour. Super tasty! I could have done with an extra x6 servings of the Truffle Fries, but still.

I did the washing up, took the medications and opened the three bits from Amazon. The salt & vinegar flavoured seaweed snack pack (Not tried yet), six packets of Japanese style seaweed crispies (delicious!), and the Moores Hickory Marinade (Very costly!) I’ll ask on the TFZer Facebook if anyone knows how to use this Marinade.

I put the boxes behind the £300, second-hand, grottily beige-coloured, c1968, not working, uncomfortable, falling to pieces recliner.

Then found boxes I’d put there earlier and had not removed yet! But I’ll get around to it sometime, I’m sure…

Washed, changed, and got settled to see some TV. The usual happened; watch a few minutes, nod-off a few minutes repeatedly, but no proper sleep for hours! Spit!