Coping with Old Age – Inchcock Style
Wrote in SuPport of the fethaurus Users league
Like Corona Virus and wee-weeing, it comes to us all,
Like dizziness, madness and having many a fall,
You can’t prevent it, like a rainy squall,
It’ll come, Summer, Winter, Spring or Fall,
You might be having rumpy-pumpy, or playing beachball?
Football, tennis, baseball, trying to throw a curveball,
Or you could be summoned to the guildhall,
Nowt will stop ageing, for eternity, you may trawl,
But as I say, it doesn’t matter at all,
Ailments, disabilities, agony to recall,
Life is just a struggle and a brawl,
Unfairness, those who seem to have it all,
Money, good looks, who lives are a ball,
Even for them, live will stall,
Death is perfectly natural,
Mind you, them who live at Balmoral,
Though, lacking in some moral,
Live longer, that’s connatural,
It’s us commoner’s, with no collateral,
Who was accepting our being visceral,
But death, well, it’s gone viral,
For the underprivileged, hopes, are not transferable,
Though, commitment is not endurable,
Life is not so cheery, easy, or affable,
Things can get so bad, death is advisable,
But still, you must admit, it can be laughable!
I wish that humour was bequeathable,
And seeing the future was browsable,
Wouldn’t it nice, if death was cancellable!
Just a thought! – I had one in 1958 as well!
00:00hrs: Already up, and finished working on this updating of the Tuesday post, and sent it off. 
Oh, Gawd! From nowhere Dizzy Dennis attacked, I really did think I was going to fall off of the swivel chair, and a headache developed at the same time, on the right side of the head! Enough, when I felt stable enough, I got sat down with a drink of orange juice, Shuddering Shoulder Shirley kicked off, which prevented me from nodding off for a while, but sure enough, as things calmed down further, I drifted off into the land of nod! 
A brand new style off wee-wee today, (It’s interesting having so many ailments!) I’ve Christened the mode as UDYP (Urgent-Deep-Yellow-and-Painful). It’s encouraging to be able to report that Little Inchies fungal lesion was not bleeding at all! All done, washed the hands and contact points, and as I was going out of the door, I had to go back in to deal with another rushing-gush wee-wee of the same variety!
I wiped and washed again, and off to the kitchen to do the medicationalisationing.
The BP readings were different this morning. SYS well up, at 173, DIA 83, Pulse 77, and Temperature was 37.8°c. When I got out the tablet dispensers, I worked out that I had enough up until Saturday morning. This
Gordon Bennett! The first sip was taken, and agony invaded the teeth! Cricky, it made me jump! Of course, the toothache was well set in, and kept on all through the day! Gragnangles! 
I got on with updating. The rain and darkness repeatedly came and went, and finally, the updating got finished. The job was all done and dusted. 
The ablutions 
were soon got into with gusto. 
Down, bag in the bin, and ambled along Chestnut Drive, as the drizzle started to come, camera at the ready. I stopped for a few moments under the Chestnut tree while the rain was more substantial, but it soon weakened to just the odd spit falling. 
Back to the apartment, and put these pictures into the computer. 
time this time, for the
However, I did get of my favourite McVities orange flavoured chocolate biscuits. A bottle of Woolite washing liquid and a bag of black bags. 
I made my way through Trinity Sq
uniforms and stab-vest, watching as they ambled around, ignoring the pavement cyclists, the vehicles parked on double-yellow lines. A scuffle taking place for a moment on Long Row encouraged them to walk up King Street in the opposite direction.
avy for a quid. 1 pack of Indian seedless grapes, a packet of walnut-halves, and cashew nuts. A packet of BBQ chicken pieces, and a packet of pork slices with stuffing! And a pack of six mini-jelly pots! By gum, the lady who helped me put them through earned her can of G & T! 
I considered pointing this illegal Road Traffic Act naughtiness out to the two heroic imitation policemen who were still nearby, with their hands in their new tunic pockets, keeping away from the earlier well avoided, Long Row scuffle.
I updated this diary for a couple of hours, then, very late on now, I got the beef nosh sorted out. Beef and gravy, with extra caramelised gravy added, potatoes, garden peas, apple pies, seedless grapes, and lemon yoghourt. Flavour rating: 8/10.
01:45hrs: I came back to imitation life, and my mind filled with the memories of last night’s unfortunate, to say the least, Whoopsiedangleplop in the kitchen, when the bar on top of the cabinets came down, making a terrible mess, that I basically left unsorted, and needs tending to today. 
Then to the kitchen to get the kettle on and do the medicationalising as needed. The pins looked in rude health, although still looking a little aenemic. The leg ulcer had almost disappeared, but there was some itching coming from it.
The sphygmomanometer revealed that the Sys had gone up again. Could be the excitement of seeing my Vampire Nurse again? But most likely at the thought of all the cleaning and sorting of the kitchen collapse is likely.
Time to get the ablutions sorted, then the kitchen to sort out. Oh, also the handwashing to be tackled. Oh, dearie me! 
Well, it’s a long time since I’ve actually walked into the door frame! Shuddering Shoulder Shirley was not pleased, at all! At least it was the right blade, and with Nicodemus’sNeuroitransmitters on strike at the time, there was not much pain.
But, Shirley seemed to kick-off the instant I collided with the door, which meant I dropped and broke one of the Jenny-donated mugs which I as taking to wash! Cragknackles! Then, bending down to pick up the pieces, Back-Pain-Brenda joined in as well, she was nasty with it! But, a Silver-Lining-Search, told me I had been doing extremely well ailment wise over the last 24hrs, so I should only expect things like this to happen. Fair enough! Gragnattles! Also, it was handily timed, so I could apply some Phorpain Gel after the ablutioning! Again, Fair enough!
A stand-up all over wash (Too early to use the shower and disturb my unseen for months neighbours) The pins (legs) were looking better than they have for ages. However, the legs did look exsanguinated in the extreme, which was a smidge worrying! 
Back to the flat, and got the handwashing sorted out. I got the zip-up jumper above the heated cloths air ion the hallway to catch the rising heat. (Cunning, eh? Hehe!) I’ve now one drying, another cleaned, and the one I’m wearing and dirtying. Hahaha!
I got the towel drying on the flat airer in the front junk-room.
But still, my determination prevailed. And finally, at last, I got the job completed. With little, if any, self-satisfaction, I’m afraid. I’d made such an absurd and frustrating accident-prone mess of it!
The lovely little black yap-yapper never stopped wagging its tail. The other two black dogs were playing with the bigger brown woof-woof. I got such enjoyment out of just watching them, it cheered me up a smidge. 
I took another photographicalisation from the balcony, of the end of Chestnut Walk. The red cars were back. 
The Intercom flashed and much to my delight, it was Hristina, the gorgeous, sweet-natured phlebotomy nurse come to take my blood. She was soon up in the flat. Having not seen any nurse for three weeks, and it being two-months that I’ve not seen Hristina, I was a tad disappointed in her being too busy for a proper chinwag. But, she still chatted while she took the blood, bless her! I could see she was pent up a smidge. She told me of how long she’d searched for a parking space, and had to park on double yellow lines and left a note on her windscreen saying she would be back in ten minutes. Poor thing. But the lift seeing her gave me, was most appreciated. 
I got Computer Cameron back on, and the intercom sounded. It was Iceland’s delivery arriving. 
I got the carriers into the kitchen and sorted the skimmed milk into two bags to spread the weight for Jenny. Left them outside the door and 
Now we know! Hehe! 
Back on the computer again, and the ‘I only want to be with you’ tune of the door bells chimed up again. Heart-stopper, ILC, and Warden Obergruppenführeress Deana came in, to test the wristlet alarm with the control room. Another busy gal! But while I had the chance, I had to ask her to help with the medications, to find out about the prescriptions for me I only have three days meds left, and if necessary, to arrange collection for me. She said she’d find out and ring me later. I’d be lost without help on the phone, thanks, Deana! 
I made three of Big Baps up with butter and roast beef slices. Marmite flavoured cheese, tomatoes, fries and an apple pie. Taste rating result: 4/10, shame! The cobs were dry and bland, the Algerian tomatoes bitter and foul, and the apple pie all sugar, no fruit. But the Marmite cheese and fries were tasty. 
I decided to stay up anyway. I had a bash at trying to get the ankle-support strap on. No chance! 
02:30hrs: Well, well, well, sleep at last! Six hours no less! Within minutes of waking up, I’d decided there was an ode about the Coronavirus that had been floating about in my head, and it needed tending to, while it was fresh in my 
I arrived in the nick of time on the Throne, and the evacuation started without any input from me. But only so far, then it was reluctant-cement time! The pain I went through to get things moving again, was unpleasant, to say the least. But, I freed things, and unfortunately, this caused quite a bit of bleeding, that took far longer to stop than usual. And of course, wasted a few precious sheets of toilet paper. I should have used the kitchen towel roll, I will next time! And really must call for a prescription for some more Corticosteroid cream. 
I checked the emails. One from Amazon is asking for a review of the Tork toilet rolls, that had been cancelled! I filled it in, mentioning the reason being that as they had not been delivered, I couldn’t respond in the accepted style. 
 I’m back! Apart from just a couple or so (5) dropsies, the five cuts shaving, wee’d me off. Hah! 
Back to the kitchen and got the and washing done, rung and hung! Then, I tackled the laundry. But I felt okay, as Dizzy Dennis and even Shoulder-Shaking-Shirley were being kind to me!
I made a mug of tea, taking this picture of the new kettle making the place seem all clean and polished. (Obviously, it wasn’t, though, Hahaha!) 
I’ll get the nosh done now. I was so glad I bought all those tomatoes when I went to Arnold now, they are keeping pretty well too. I hope they don’t suddenly shrivel. This was a meal worth a taste-rating of 8.5/10. I dined slowly and savoured every bit of the food without any abstemiousness. My coenaculous desires were well satiated! 
I got a wash and changed into the night attire. Then got uncomfortably settled on the second-hand, £300, recliner, that xyrophobia-suffering, Lottery winner, Pools winner and flat-robber, Brother-in-law Pete Archibald Bratton had knackered, while he was flat-sitting and stealing my valuables, while I was in the hospital after having the stroke. 
