The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe

Inchcock: Friday 30th September 2022

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

TODAY’s CARTOON
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ODE OF THE DAY

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NEMO MORTALIUM OMINBUS HORIS SAPIT

04;30hrs: I woke, but not time for  Thought Storms, self-pitying, or passing the usual wind… For the  was desperately needed, I frantically farted about and somehow made it to the Throne in time, just. The evacuation took about 30 seconds, and it was all over. Minor bleeding, but not a lot. No effort from me was needed; it was all passed in auto-mode.
Besides the regulation cuts shaving, everything went so well that it worried me. However, on leaving the wet room, I did a Master-Class Top Quality, Damned painfully . Right on the edge of the door as I was closing it! Of course, it didn’t bother me at all, being the brave, heroic sort of young man that I am. Ahem!

Off to the kitchenette to make a brew of J. Sainsbury’s Extra Strong Brown Label tea.

But the morning’s views from the window caught my good eye.
It was raining and appeared so different to what it normally is.
Out came the Lumix; I offered up a prayer that it would fail me again and took these shots. The second one was taken through the bottom portion of the window. I tried different modes from the SCN options. But didn’t do very well. Although the last one was not too bad, I’m not claiming it is good, mind you.

As I was taking the last shot, an even more urgent than the first one needed for the
. This time a totally changed mode of evacuation again! Rock hard, reluctant and bloody painful. The cracks in the ceiling counted up to 46 this visit.
I spent an hour updating the Thursday blog and a further 45 minutes putting photographs on Pinterest.

Then got the seen, starting with the temperature and Blood Pressure. Roughly the same as yesterday’s results.
The NHS site indicated that the Blood Pressure was almost down in the Amber zone. The Excel graphs have broken the run of reds, and it looks much better now!

The Body Temperature has come down nicely, too! It’s taken a while for it to tumble… but all fine now!

I checked the flat repeatedly for safely leaving, lights, oven, windows, taps, heaters etc.

Jodie arrived and got the medications sorted out for me. The regulation treats accepted. ♥

Herbert above was giving me some banging, tapping and knocking. But I knew I’d soon be going out, so it didn’t bother me so much.

Then I spotted how the weather had changed so quickly. To fog!

As it turned out, I foolishly got the Lumix out of my coat pocket to take these two pictures. The first straight ahead, and the second one of the car park below on Chestnut Walk.

Oh, I’d better get ready for the bus trip. Tried to make sure I’d got everything needed, pen, mobile, hearing-aids and batteries… but I’ll tell you now, I forgot to put the camera back in my pocket!

I got down and waited for the EasyLink bus. The lady was lovely, and we chatted, and we were soon in Riverside, Bulwell. As she dropped me off, she said the pick-up was at 15:30hrs! I was sure Deana had asked them to make it for 13:30hrs? The lady said just ring us if you want it earlier, and if we can, we will do it. Fair enough. Of course, I forgot to ask her for the number!

Up in the lift, and all the others were in the room, the meeting was starting. I gave a cheery “Good morning each”, displaying my bestest smile. Humph! No one answered.
The usual thing was that so many of us could not hear everything the tutor was saying. He just carried on in the same tone when I pointed this out.
When he was talking about the exercise details of what we need to do… I could not resist letting myself talk out: “Well, on Wednesday, my morning Carer arrived just after I’d collapsed onto the floor… I went down to get the bus that did not arrive. I went back up to the flat, took off my outer clothes, and rang Easy-Link, who told me they were due at 10:00hrs. I dashed about to get dressed again. Caught the bus to the doctor, who told me that I didn’t have an appointment today. The Doctor gave me the flu jab. I had to walk back to Sherwood. Catching the bus back up the hill, I missed the step. The driver and passengers got me back on my feet. Now, I think that was a reasonable amount of exercise, bearing in mind that I had a fight with the sock glide and lost when I got into the flat? (I kept a straight face throughout) And I got the best bout of laughter from the patients for it! Although a couple on the other side just furrowed their brows and looked confused, the educator Nathaniel’s glare should really have melted me on the spot!
The best moment of the day for me, this was!

But, of course, there were bad things on the horizon going to happen that would send me back into a Dracula Depression.

I was last to leave and made my way in the windy weather that had got up into Bulwell Market to have a delve into the shops.
Going into the shops was a mistake. A shopaholic should never risk it when he has his bank card. A financial disaster! In the B&M store, I got some drinks for the nurses, Wardens and Carers. Different ones, I like to tweak their interest. I came out of the shop with two big bags full of stuff! Babycham, cokes, disinfectant, snacks, chocolates, mini wines, and biscuits (A lot of them!)
As I turned from the checkout and the dangerously overloaded with the two bags hanging on the handles of the walker, I realised there was a min-rainstorm out there!

I was soaked to the skin in minutes. People were running into shops to escape the wind and rain, and the Market Stalls were abandoned. I got out the umbrella, and with needing both hands to control the walker-trolley in the howling wind, this was an impossibility. So I just had to get wetterer!
What could I do? So I went into the Heron Foods store. I came out with non-alcoholic drinks (I0), a Korean black bean Chilli. (I still don’t know why I did that), lemon desserts, black bags and Skinny Whips for the Carers. Came out, and the rain and wind were no better, so I took cover in the Iceland Shop. Tsk! Black bags, rice, Orange flavoured Wagon Wheels (they were for me!), Zoflora, and Party Ring biscuits.

This is where I thought I could get some smashing shots of the abandoned stalls, people running this way and that, and the atrocious weather. I got outside again, and the weather was worse than ever! The Market Place looked like a bomb site as the wind blew the emptied stalls all over. I tried to hasten back to the shelter of the Riverside Venue to get under cover, at least. But controlling the three-wheeler with all that weight on it, there was more weight now as the carrier bags filled with rainwater! Then I realised I’d forgotten to take the camera with me! Wot an Idiot!

Fighting to keep control, I walked into a massive puddle; I had no choice in the matter. The way the wind went, so did I! The shoes filled up with the cold rain. Eventually, I got into the building. And walked through to the car park entrance. Checked the time, and I still had over an hour to wait for the Easy-Link bus to arrive.

The waiting area inside had these massive automatic sliding doors for exit and ingress. The rain and wind continued! And those sliding doors never stopped opening and closing, even when no one was near them. I was chilled to the bone, wet and miserable.

Also, when I got the crossword book out to have a go at during my marathon wait for the lift, it was soaked through. Not surprising, really. But it did annoy me a bit.

When the minibus arrived, and the driver chap came in, boy was I happy! I could have kissed him, but didn’t! He was not a natural natterer, so a silent journey, apart from me talking. But, he cheered up when we got back to the flats. When I gave him a choice of drinkies from the trolley bag.

All I wanted to do, was to get a mug of tea and dried off. BUT NO!
There in the foyer, hands on her hips and looking threatening was Warden Julie. “They’re waiting for you in the salon, you’ve got yer feet appointed, and that was for over an hour ago!”
I couldn’t argue or even bother to explain the reason for my being late; I was drained and very damp. She kindly frog-marched to the salon. Not really, but it sounded good, dinnit? Just walked with the dripping trolley and soaked all over in the squelching shoes as fast as I could to the salon.
I don’t think the nail-cutter was very happy at having to stay on longer to do me. I did explain to her why I was late, but it didn’t raise a smile, get me out of her hatred zone, or even get any comment after telling her.
She did speak to me after cutting two of my toes. She only nobbled one last time? She told me I  now had two ingrowing toenails. From start to finish, she did the job in less than five minutes? I was certainly in pain from the normal toenails she cut; the last toe that she cut; made me jump. I said a naughty word! Shame!
Usually, I offer them a drinkie, but the cans were in the water in the carrier bags, and I didn’t know which one anyway. I’ll take some down for them next week. Paid the £25 demanded, with my last £30. Telling the lady at the desk, who owns the salon, about how I struggle to find pound coins to pay the Easy-Link with, and she gave me Five coins instead of a fiver. x

Got back into the flat at long last. Got the wet clothes off, drained the carrier bags, and sorted out the purchases bought.
Disinfectants wot I got. The Fabulosa washing scent stuff stunk awful to me, but the Carer loved it?

Ah, the treats here, each and every one a new variety. No, they are!

I can’t understand why I bought those Mexican beans in chilli? They’re bound to be too hot for me! That Dairy-Free spread looks worth a try.

Chestnut mushrooms. Sausages for Richard on Monday, and I’m looking forward to trying that Korean BBQ-flavoured rice. I’ll ask Richard to help me break them up.
I got on the computer about six hours ago, and am still on it doing this blog, now. Apart from when Sam (I think) called. Some names I can remember… but not many. Got me sorted and chose one of the new drinkies and a Chunky White Milky Bar for nibbles in thanks.

I pressed on until I started getting the shivers, obviously, from getting soaked through earlier.
I shall get something to eat and call it quits. I’ll have to finish this in the morning… There’s a thought, I hope I get a Carer, it’s Saturday innit tomorrow.
Back in the morning… I hope!

A sad meal was made up. A veggie burger on three uncut sliced cobs, and I sliced up some of Jenny’s donated tomatoes. ♥ And a banana for afters. Not the best looking or appetizing meals I’ve done, but I was in pain and so weary. The Taste-Rating of 3.5/10. But most likely, this low score was due to my state of Health. I can’t smell things very well now with the cold coming on. I’m still shivering cold, sniffling, stabbing away at me, and the feet are so painful, it’s hard to believe! To counter the discomfort, I took an extra Codeine and a Hemp capsule. Sleep will help as much as anything, I think. After the care calls, I’ll get myself settled in the second-hand, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, microorganism-producing, smell-retaining, gungy beige coloured, none-working, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, c1968 recliner, and if it’s not on, turn on the TV, in hopes that it will help me get to sleep. It normally does; I’ll nod off when the commercials come on screen.

Ad KI was checking the SD file before turning off the computer, and I found the one on the left was on the SD card.

The Mystery Photo of the Month?

I know what I think it might have just been, but that would have been a physical impossibility. Does anyone have any thoughts on the subject? Obviously, a shot was taken by mistake?

18:25hrs: Jodie, I think it was, but you never know for sure – Well, I don’t anyway! Sad, innit? I was watching an episode of ‘Heartbeat’ at the time she arrived, and I was almost dropping off. Hehehe!
Got the tablets issued. The Carer put my socks on… not on herself, on me. Hehe! I think I’ve made a mess of this? Might have been Sam? We had a chat then, she chose some treats, and she took the waste bag to the chute on her way out.

I settled to watch the second episode of Heartbeat. During which I estimate I nodded off about eight or nine times. Ruined the viewing.
The next time I woke up was about an hour later.
I turned off the TV, assured now that I would soon be in the Land of Nod within minutes, which I was!

, I bounded back awake, convinced I’d left the hot water tap running! I rose painfully onto my feet. The feet and toes were giving me some bother and a half!
mainly. The knees seemed to have given way to the new Unguis incarnates pains. Off into the kitchenette, no tap running, then I went into the wet room to check there and shoulder-charged the doorframe going in. This got going; the toes were getting worse, and
after all that, the hot tap was not running.
Not that that was the end of the little mental pandemonium known as , Oh, no!
Back in the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly-beige-coloured, not-working, rickety recliner, without the slightest chance of nodding off again, due to the hurting and activities of !
But nothing could stop the Thought Storms from raging into life. This triggered the . As far as recall, I got up to check the fridge and freezer doors, and the oven had not been left on, and then if the front door had been locked.
Each trip was making the toes more painful! Thus even less chance of dropping off to sleep now!
I elapid there, train to think of something I could concentrate on to avoid the Thought Storm messages. I made a story up, a comedy, with relative to me failures and Whoopsiedangleplops on it. The feet were now getting the attention of Colin Cramps!
I think I might have been about to fall asleep, for the Thought Storms had gone offline in my brain. And I started sneezing hard and often. Of course, this set off , and I gave up any hopes of sleep, all together. I dare not take any more painkillers today… or yesterday as it is now.

Not one of my betterer days!

Inchcock: Wednesday 28th September 2020

/ Inchie / 52 Comments

POLITICAL CARTOON
The Labour Party Attack Planners!
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A tongue-in-cheek ode today!

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05:00hrs: I woke up, but I wanted to go back to sleep again. I awaited the arrival of the needs doe a wee-wee and or the Porcelain Throne, half-hoping to nod off again. As I lay there, partly hanging off of the £300, bought over eight years ago from the charity shop, Harold Haemorrhoids testing, repugnantly beige-coloured, crumb containing, virus-breeding, acne-giving, rickety, none-working recliner, it dawned on me that I maybe should not be so tired? I think I’d had nearly six hours of shut-eye!
Minutes later, following a very odd, almost musical, extended release of gas from the rear end, I rose, caught my balance and hobbled to the wet room.
No rushing, but I sensed that things mayhaps be about to begin of their own accord evacuation-wise. So got my bottom on the Porcelain Throne. A good job too. A totally different style of product exited. Similar to a single giant Zophobas Morio worm, it was even the same colour. No stink with it this time. No bleeding either. Well, being there, I decided to get the actioned.
Med HydrWhat seems to be the regulation-two minimal nicks shaving. Another lump came off the double molar teeth cleaning. And Little Inchies needed treating.
Then I got the started. Got the sphygmomanometer and did the Blood Pressure.

Not so good again. As for the last couple of days, it was at Hypertension Red One. The body temperature was back up too high again, at 36.5°f.

I made a mug of 99 tea and made a start on the Computing. But had to go to the , for a second visit. Aha! Yet another different evacuation. Bat to the rabbit droppings mode this time. Still no bleeding from anywhere, and there was no pain in passing. There was a more distinctive aroma attached to this second dollop, though.

I meandered into the kitchenette, then the balcony, and took a few photographicalisation of the views that were available. The end of Chestnut Walk car park.

Then a straight ahead picture of the low horizon puffer clouds.

They soon filled the sky later. But the Lumix was not having it again! I know that the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions, and other grotesqueries that haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchcock; to curse with bad luck, create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare, worry and confuse me! But this Lumix is doing my head in! Then I took the last shot to date, of the clouds in the car park.
  Arrived, he said when asked that he was not so bad today. That didn’t stop the yawns coming through. He was not in such a rush today. Checked the wrist alarm batteries, and we had a gossip that went down well.

Things started to ape-shit when Richard left! So, the diary will get a bit thin now; detail-wise, sorry.

The computer screen froze

,

Started his tap-tapping, clanging and banging activities again. Not for as long as yesterday, about three or four hours, methinks. But there’s plenty of time for him to get out and buy more and noisier tools and Cocaine and come back and kick off again. Hehehe!

I got on with the Tuesday blog updating. But it was a long hard slog; I was making so many mistakes, even I couldn’t believe it. I spent yonks correcting stuff. No doubt I’ve missed many things. Very frustrating! Well into the afternoon by the time I got it done and posted off.

I went for at least my twelfth wee-wee, just as Herbert started clunking away again.

The landline flashed – My plans were thrashed.
She said they would pick me up in the morning for the Doctors visit at 10:00hrs. I mentioned the Friday booking for the Diabetes session. A momentarily scary silence! We do not have a booking for you this week.
Richard had told Deana for me two weeks ago of the changes made. I suppose I should have checked after last week’s welcome but unexpected lift to Bulwell. The dreaded words… ‘You’ll have to phone us in the morning at 08:30hrs. I don’t know if we can do it until then’ This is going to be fun. I tried again to contact Deana but was diverted. She must be off work ill or on holiday. This struggle to get help is so frustrating.

The fatigue fell, and I gave up. I’ll make a meal, then the evening care will be due to arrive and wake me up again; unless, of course, I don’t fall asleep… No, don’t be silly!

Nosh

Fell asleep

Carer Chloe woke me up and gave me medications.

Sunset shots

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Inchcock: Tuesday 27th September 2022

/ Inchie / 2 Comments

POLITICAL CARTOON

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I just thought I’d do you an Ode to cheer you up!

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05:30hrs: I stirred slowly back into imitation life.
I had a desire for a mug of tea, a strong one. So this forced me out of the £300, second-hand bought nine years ago from the second-hand shop on Mansfield Road, Harold Haemorrhoid testing, repugnantly beige-coloured, crumb containing, virus-breeding, acne-giving, rickety, none-working recliner. Did the exercises and caught my balance, albeit not fully; I was a little wobbly doing to the kitchenette and got the kettle on.

Glad to see I had not left the hot water tap (faucet) running, no heat left on the stove, and had shut the fridge and geezer doors.
The view outside was, to me, anyway, one of the prettiest for a long time. I decided to take some photographs. The Lumix battery was still charging, so I used the Fuji camera. A smidgeon disappointed with these shots compared to how they looked to my eyes – but then again, I have , and Achromatopsia Archie to contend with… the only excuse I could think of. Hahaha! I delayed making the brew, so I could get the done.
A little higher than yesterday’s figures.
Still in the Hypertension Red 1 zone, just but close to the Hypertension Red 2 zone. It seems my two-day sojourn into the amber zone has ended.
SYS 157, DIA 71, Pulse 82. The body temperature at 35.8°f. That’s come down a fair bit; very nice!

I got the figures into the Excel graph and cut out the last few days to show the comparisons. The daily zones I’ve been in are looking too good, Six in the Reds but three in the light greens. So not so bad after all.
Then I made a brew of J Sainsbury Extra-Strong Brown Label tea. Superb!

I got a waste bag made up and then went to get the ablutions done. No shaving, as I had one late last night, did I not? Yes, I did.
Sounded the ♫Oh, Susana ♫ tune and came into the room. He was splitting the time between coughing and yawning this morning, poor bloke.
I took a bag into the kitchen to get Richard’s treats packed up. As I got underneath the door frame, I collapsed on both knees! No dizziness nor Neuropathic leg dancing, and no idea what had caused it? Hit my head on the way down. And within moments, kicked off as well. It was a blessing that Richard was here when it happened. He got me back up and into a chair. The effects were, apart from Anne Gyna, not too bothersome. I took an extra painkiller, with the usual medications, and Phorpained both knees. The knees and head were soon cleared. It’s just that’s giving me hassle now.

Further…

① The flipping Lumix camera has stopped working again!

② The Fuji camera I left on this morning and the batteries are flat! Humph!

③ has started what must be a mammoth job. Not stop banging, tapping and clattering noises for bloody hours; he didn’t stop until around 17:00hrs!

④ My concentration was shot, and my anger and impatience grew!

⑤ kicked of with a fogginess never known. Is it not bad enough that had a tumble? , , and the cursed were making me miss shake and hitting wrong icons, which I could barely see anyway… my frustration and Herbert’s noise were really getting me uptight! Without the next cock-up:

⑥ I actually deleted all of the 80-40-0 icons from the computer! Permanently! I had to spend hours making new ones on CorelDraw, getting them on WordPress, and sizing each one of 32 tags individually before using them!

I am now going to stop computing and try to get something to eat. The evening carer is due anytime now – she or he will miss the pleasure of waking me up.

Fed-up. Peed off, in pain, struggling to see, and generally not feeling very good. If Herbert starts his noise again when I’m eating my food, I will be tempted to go up to the animal’s flat and have words, but I’m ready, through frustration and anger, to go a step further than words- which is a silly idea at my age. Of course, he may have had some carpet fitted or repair work carried out?

Well, blow me down with a feather duster! The Lumix us working again? This is baffling me. Then again, a lot of things do that nowadays!

Jenny called on the landline; the last of the glasshouse tomatoes had arrived, and she kindly said she’d pop some up doe me later on. ♥ Bless her. She’s so kind to me.
Minutes later, burst from the door chime. Jenny had brought them up and left them outside the door. And they were super-duper tasty! She even skipped in a Cadbury creme egg for me. Hahaha!
I made the meal; I sliced some tomatoes on a leaf-side tray. Just got down to eat it, and…
Rang out! Got up and ventured to the door; it was neighbour Josie, bringing me some bananas as a thank you for her letting me down with the Sunday lunch. For the first time ever, she apologised for letting me know so late in the day. Bless her! I still ink her Sister is a bit of a bully towards her; what the Sister says, Josie does. I made light of it and asked if she enjoyed the reheated chilli. “Oh, it was lovely!” she replied. That cheered me up.
I got down in the £300 second-hand, decrepit, Haemorrhoid Harold-testing, sleep deterring, nauseatingly beige-coloured, not-working recliner. And took the first forkful of the BBQ-flavoured rice, which was nice…
, came in. She got the medications sorted, and we had a little natter and a laugh about something or other. Sam took her choice of drinkies and nibbles on her way out.
I was going to get back to the now cold meal, but could not rely on me remembering to lock the door, so went and did that.

Tried again to get the meal eaten. I succeeded this time. Haha!
Despite it being barely warm, I thoughourly enjoyed it. As I mentioned earlier, Jenny’s tomatoes tasted superb.

A Flavour Rating of 8.2/10 was given.

I put the emptied of all food tray on the Carers table and proceeded to watch an episode of Heartbeat on Channel 10 on Freeview.
Ahhh!

Sunday 25th September 2020

/ Inchie / 2 Comments

POLITICAL FUN
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04:45hrs: I woke up, and Little Inchies fungal lesion that had been giving me so much hassle and pain last night had calmed down remarkably? I lay there, preciously close to the edge of the £300, second-hand bought eight years ago from the second-hand shop, Harold Haemorrhoid testing, repugnantly beige-coloured, crumb containing, virus-breeding, acne-giving, rickety, none-working recliner, and mused over a few things of concern.
Of course, there were no solutions, cures, or alternatives found. So I did! At about 06:00hrs, I found the impulse to get up.

I got the sphygmomanometerisationing going, and boy, was I surprised at the returns!
SYS (A new lowest-ever) 115, DIA 62, the Pulse 85, and body temperature still high at 36.6°f.
Putting the figures on the NHS site this time and got this rather uplifting graph. Absolutely!
Grade One! Hehe!

I’d only been in the Normal once in the past eight years, but now I am in the… wait for it… The IDEAL Green Zone, for the very first time!
Now I’m worried about going too low. You can’t win, can yer? Hehehe!
I certainly shows up well on the Excel Blood Pressure.
I copied the Sunday to Sunday part of the graph. Just look at it, only one day out of the eight, in the reg overall! I did think a moment ago that I may have misread the SYS, and it should be 175? I had a look using the magnifying glass, and I’m sure it is 115 now.
Only the high-Temperature is in the red. Wonder what I have to do to get it down? I’ll look at Google later. Cause, as you can see, it’s creeping up!

I went into the kitchen; it’s always a nervy thing, the first thing to do! Will it be the hot tap left on? Is the oven left on? Or a window left open? Mayhaps the freezer or the fridge door is ajar? It’s worrying each and every morning nowadays! Mind you, last week I found the food in the cupboards had all been moved and still can’t find some things I know were there. I have been known to partake in nocturnal somnambulism. All was okay this morning. I didn’t check the cupboards, though.

I made a start on prepping Josie’s Sunday lunch. I made a slightly different style of stew for her today. Beef and the usual vegetables and seasonings. I’m going to cook some beef sausages for her later, slice them into small pieces and add them, then the BBQ sauce last thing and reheat.

I made a brew of Thompson’s Punjana and took it to the computer.

But I got distracted. With the need of the . Where I found the evacuation most aperient. Yet poor old
still bled a good bit. Washed up and went back to the computer.

Started a session of clumping, tapping and banging away from the above flat. That’ll help me concentrate a lot.

Pressed on, getting lost in updating Saturday’s blog, until nearly eight o’clock, when the arrived. It was Sinead again. Always glad to see someone cheery, even though they are tired after a long shift. Her eyelids were beginning to droop, but she maintained a smile. I didn’t keep her with my gossiping, she selected a can of drinkies, and she made her way home, me being an extra and her last call. I felt guilty about asking her to take the waste bag with her.
An hour or so of computing – or, to be more exact, making mistakes and getting confused with the blogging work. Then I got the Lumix and went to sort Josie’s meal out. Cooked the bangers, sliced them, and then added them with the sliced mushrooms to the mix in the saucepan. I’ll photo this saucepanful, I thought, it looked lovely.
, with felt so ! The Lumix was not working again! It went through the motions, but the shots were not getting to the SD card! Grrr! I checked the card was in the right way around, and the lock tab was in the open position. All I can think is that the battery might have run out. Even though I charged it up two days ago? This happened last week. And I came back on the next day as I recall… I think, but I am likely getting confused. What can I do?  The only thing I can think of, apart from suicide, is charging the battery again? Yes, I’ll do that, then…

As ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ burst forth from the door chime. Now, who could this be? I asked myself pointlessly as I hobbled to the door. It was a demure-looking Josie. She told me her Sister had just phoned, and she was coming to collect her and take her out to the Marco Pierre White restaurant for a meal. This was about 11:00hrs, and the meal is delivered every Sunday at twelve-noon! So she will not need a meal today.
I think that Josie might be bullied a little by her Sister. She often almost demands that Josie goes out for a meal with her at very short notice. And all that effort I’ve made this morning to get her a different meal, the cut finger slicing the mushrooms as well. Haha!
She’ll be here in about an hour, Josie said. Bless her! I was not angry with her, just that it happened. Not only does it cost a fair bit, but the washing up I now have to face was unnecessary!
I got two screw=lid food containers and filled them with the feast. Told her she could eat them later and could pop them in her fridge. A can of pink gin slipped for her as well. Hahaha!

I delivered them and got back inside onto the computer. It’s not going well. But I pressed on.

Then realised I’d left the big saucepan in the sink soaking. Had I left the tap running? I went to investigate, and I had not – Phew! Then, all the other saucepans, cutlery, lids, wooden spoons, and slicing boards were washed.
While doing this, the fatigue fell on me. I had to stop. I put some roasted vegetable risotto in the oven… now I must stay awake and remember it’s in there.

Liberty-Global Down!

SMOKE & MIRRORS EXPERT!

I got the meal out and returned to the recliner to put my feet up and get it eaten.
I made far too much for me to eat it all. Although I did try too, a mistake mayhaps, that I may regret on the next Porcelain Throne visit. Put the tray on the Carer’s table, and then I .
I woke to the smell of part-eaten Roast Vegetable Risotto wafting up my nose. I discovered that cold risotto does not smell nice at all. This prompted me to put the uneaten food into two bags, and then a black bag, and sealed it in the waste bag! Cor, it was foul-smelling! And a pile of that is working away in my stomach? Shudder!

Back into the front room and again. To be woken up by the , Riona, who did not ring the doorbell and was looming over me as I woke from the depths of glorious sleep. I wanted to cry momentarily! A record visit timewise, 5-minutes medications given, treat refused and gone. I followed her to the door to lock it, and she took the waste bag when I asked her to.

Fancy that?

Inchcock Today: Wednesday 21st September 2022

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

WEDNESDAY’s POLITICAL CARTOON

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03:40hrs: Another shooting awake, the arms jounced, and slowly the brain woke up as well. The only thing it was interested in was my hastening to the Porcelain Throne. So, I did!
No injuries or Accifauxpas en route; I got settled in the regulation position, and the evacuation began. I should think it was 80% putrid air and 20% of watery kaki-coloured liquid, with a few bloblets of the expected stuff mixed in.
Not too messy it didn’t spurt out. No bleeding.
Again, I thought, well, I’m in here now; I’ll get the ablutions tended to. most another bit of the left back double molar again… I don’t know how it hasn’t all gone by now; the number of times I lose a chunk of it?
I took extra care with the shaving this time. A couple of tin nicks, no bother.
Ah, there were some difficulties here. The Germoloiding of Harrolds Haemorrhoids went perfectly smoothly, with minimum pain of any sort. Then, the Phorpain gelling was more or less in the same style. Then, for some reason, the applicationing of the
Daktacort can only be described as horrendously painful. I stopped as soon as I felt that much pain in such a delicate area. And went to fetch the magnifying glass to see if I could find a use-by date in the tube or box. Nope, couldn’t see one anyway. I went to the medical drawer in the kitchenette and ferreted about for another tube. None left! I must ask Richard or Deana to order some for me.
A smothering of Germolene in place was tried. Totally-ineffective. I dare not use what bit of Daktacort that was left in the tube, so threw it away.
Then, the Danger of the Day, so far, had to be faced. 

Of course, I wasn’t worried at all; a heroic man with so many ailments is not going to let a plastic-coated finger-crunching, blood-letting thing like metal Sock Glide intimidate me. Well, more than suspected!
I got through it and got the socks on. A plaster on the trapped bleeding finger was all I needed this time. Freshened up my wobbly short-overweight body with antiperspirant spray and aftershave. Got dressed and tackled the next job, the .
Back down again! SYS 137. DIA 72, Pulse 78 bpm, and body temperature a good return at 34.3°f.
Back in the High-Norm amber area. I suppose a being shown is okay?
The second lowest rating I’ve ever recorded! Now I shall be looking to get in the green soon… Hehehe!

Was banging about above early again, around 06:00hrs. He must be making things for Christmas pressies early, mayhaps? Come think of it, I reckon he was noisy late at night and early mornings this time last year? I may be wrong, of course. ♫ It’s not unusual for Inchcock to be wrong… ♫

I got the computer on, and many comments on my blogs were received. It was from Bill, so I answered him. Off to make a mug of Thompson’s Punjana, and I took this morning shot of the view from the kitchen window. Not exactly awe-inspiring, is it?

I went back to the computer and checked the Emails.

Morrison and J Sainsbury’s had set a list of their substitutions and not available goods in today’s orders to be delivered.
Not good, is it? Still, I can give away the Tikka substitute; Deana might like them. The tomatoes should be okay. It’s funny how they always send dearer than the original substitutions.
JS had done even worse than Morrisons; that takes some doing. Same thing, dearer substitutes.
But they failed to tell me that the cheaper chilli cans I’d ordered were going to be substituted with a lot dearer ones! Humph! Anyway, I started to get things stored away. The Imperfect Tasty Strawberries were one for Deana and one for Francis, who I hope she’s back from the hospital by now and feeling better. I’ll ask Deana later.
Ah, my treats to myself here! Vegetarian shepherd’s pie, roast potatoes, veggie pasta, and sliced potatoes (well, it cuts back on chopped fingers!). Seasoned fresh cut chips as well… Oh, and a new one to me, Silky Butternut Squash Risotto; no idea what it will taste like, but without trying it, I’ll never know. Did you see that? Words of Wisdom… from me! Hehehe! Beefburgers and pot noodles for Carer Richard. Some individually portioned sticky rice pots and substituted No Chicken Tikka Masala with rice. I tried the one I ordered cause I knew I was okay with sweet & sour sauce. But I’ve tried Tikka before and did not like it. Are J Sainsbury staff told to select lousy substitutions on purpose? Is not sweet & Sour Chinese? And Tikka Indian?

At least they didn’t send me a pot of brown shoe polish this time. I’m not joking; I ordered potato cakes once and got a shoe polish pad!
Still, the owner has just lost a family member, the Queen. So, say no more. At least Morrison’s managed to deliver my favourite ready meal of all time. Roast Vegetable Risotto. It’s cracking tasty! I always put just a drop of BBQ sauce with it. And the packet of mushroom risotto I had yesterday, I think it was, was grand.
This is a loaf got the Wardens, cause it keeps fresher longer… someone told me.
I got some brown cobs for me from Lord Sainsbury: J Sainsbury plc is the parent company of Sainsbury’s Supermarkets Ltd, the third largest chain of supermarkets in the UK, with a 16.4% share of the market. As of 2021, the largest overall shareholder is the sovereign wealth fund of Qatar Royal Family Investment Authority, which holds 14.99% of the company. It is listed on the London Stock Exchange and is a constituent of the FTSE 100 Index. The chain’s annual report shows that chief executive Simon Roberts picked up £2.8 million in bonuses for the year to March 5, on top of his £878,000 a year salary and other benefits. His mammoth pay deal includes a £1.7 million annual bonus and £1.1 million in long-term incentive scheme shares. Shame no one there knows the difference between a Chinese meal and an Indian one. Just thought I’d mention it! Not that I have anything against the Indians, they have my greatest respect and admiration. It’s just that their food does not sit well with me. Where was I?

Oh, yes… These were some of the giveaway items. I bought a few trays of fluffy rice. I just thought Deana might like one to try. Hope she likes Tikka.
She did call later after I’d got everything put away… Ah, something else I forgot to mention… A pack of six 1 litre Spring Water was delivered today; luckily, it was the first thing I moved into the kitchen from the blocked by food doorway. I felt the leaking water running down my leg onto the carpet; I then dropped the bottles when I got into the kitchen. What a mess I got into, and cleaning it up was no fun!
I lost the plot there… Sorry.
I put the flowers on the trolley, ready for when Deana or Julie, or both, came to see me about the lift for Friday.
Richard told me Deana would be calling today to see me. Which she did.

She told me she’s arranged for the lift on Friday to be for 10:00hrs So, hopefully, I can get to the B&M store to get some of the canned drinks that the Carers took to. I got some last week… no, a fortnight ago. But they all went first, but  I just cannot remember what they were called. When I see the cans, I’ll know, He says… Hehehe!
Onto the computer to make a start on this blog at long last.

♫ Oh, Susana… ♫ Hello, who’s that? It was Esther, after her six-week break visiting her family in South Africa for two weeks, that turned out to for four more. Can’t blame her! She’s calling tomorrow to do the laundry. She asked for a pen so she could write a note to another customer and post it through his door – I made sure I got the pen back this time! Hehe! 

I believe the sudden fatigue is coming back again now. 14:00hrs?
I’ll get a vegetable risotto in the microwave and add one bay-sized fluffy rice after three minutes, so they are ready at the same time. A drop of BBQ sauce will be added after cooking. This week I shall try harder to avoid any burnt fingers or dropped items when struggling to get the lid off of the trays.
The foods were both nearly ready. I made up a pot of Idaho instant mash with bubble & squeak, adding some extra-strong grated cheese and a quirt of my made-up to the bottle of liquid salt & distilled vinegar to the pot. Added a mini-pot of lemon mousse to the tray and got into the recliner to feast!


I had a cough and thought I saw some specs of blood in the tissue, well, the paper towel I used.
The meal was cooling as I checked the nose and mouth. Nowt to fret over, but puzzlingly all the ulcers in the gums seem to have erupted at the same time. I didn’t realise I’d got so many pustules in the gums. As for why this happened, I remain, as ever nowadays, confused.
Finally, I began the feast, ’cause that’s what it was, and even though I’ll let it cool more than I meant to, it was delicious! A Taste-Rating of 9.3/10!

I put the tray on the Carers desk next to the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, Harold Haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable from, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner. And drifted of with a satisfied stomach into a wonderful – but short-lived, dream-filled sleep.
♫ Oh, Susana… ♫ chimed out and brought me rudely to a state of semi-wakefulness. Blow it; I can’t remember her name now. Humph! She apologised for being late and mentioned how rushed she was. She soon got the medications sorted; and, with what seemed a reluctance, ask if there was anything else. There was, but she seemed so pressed I didn’t mention anything. A nice gal, I told her to pick a treat on her way out.
I think I was about to nod off again when I remembered I’d not locked the door. So, I locked it…


Turning back from locking the door, I thought I’d have a look through the spy hole – which proved near fatal. Hehe! I twisted my back as I turned again, setting off poor and, at almost the same time, stubbed my toe on the three-wheel walker guide wheel… but I’d not finished yet. Oh, no!
Cursing my bad luck under my breath, and went into the wet room for a wee-wee and apply some Phorpain gel to Shirley. And walked into the doorframe, hit the shoulder, stopped, and automatically pee’d in my PPs, and I felt like crying. But I resisted it, after all being the heroic, stoic, brave, strong young man that I am…
At least Bladder-Belinda’s sudden leak came when I was in the wet room.
I evacuated the remaining few drops of urine from Bladder-Belinda. Stripped off and had a good clean-up. Germoloided Harold’s Haemorrhoids,
And got the crap, not very effective  MedPhorpainPhorpain gel, rubbed into my back as best that I could get at. Surprisingly, the toe stinging started to ease off?
Got some fresh PPs on, the Depend brand that had coped admirably well with Bladder-Belinda’s earlier escaping mini-torrent. was left until last. Because the shoulder charge on the wet room doorframe had set her off shuddering away, but now she had calmed down.
It took me so long to sort things out that by the time I was leaving the wet room, the and , were of little bother now.
Of course, now I had to rely on to get me through the doorway without any . Easy-peasy! I think that when I go going into the room and the light blaring at my eyes is why there are more walk-intos than when leaving the wet room?

A momentary Sherlock Holmesian conclusion there?Haha!

I got settled into the c1968 recliner seat…
Tired out, with Thought STorms to compete,
My mood was just a tad downbeat,
Thought of the Risotto… that was a treat!
Cramps now, in the fingers, legs and feet!
I must be getting closer to the scrapheap,
Losing my battle for peace and sleep…
My life seems full of things grossièreté!
Don’t know when, but I got nodded off alreet…
Dreamt I was on holiday; it looked like Crete?
2:55hrs, I sprang wide awake. Did I oversleep?
Asleep only five minutes, I could weep!

MORNING ALL!

Tuesday 20th September 2022: Ode Cartoon & Diary

/ Inchie / Leave a comment

TUESDAY’s POLITICAL CARTOON
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Not that I’d had any sleep to wake up from, but I dropped some pluppets of wind, then moved into a position ready to free myself from the clutches of the second-hand, £300, c1968, overwhelmingly-sickeningly beige coloured, tatty, uncomfortable, wobbly-recliner. At this stage, I changed plans and made my way to the wet room for the. The was also needed a visit.
I whipped down the sleeping slacks sharpishly, fearing a partially liquid evacuation. Splurge-splatter all over and done within seconds!
Ah, now the teeth breaking… I mean cleaning and the potentially dangerous shaving to be done.

I wetted the chops and neck, then a good covering of shaving cream, and I was off. The blood flowed at the first glide of the four-blade razor down the chin! Several minor nicks followed, and one at the back of the neck that I could not get to see. So, after doing the teeth, breaking GC broken toothanother lump out of the double molar, which also bled away! It was bleeding long after I’d finished the ablution and got dressed. I discovered that I’d torn the gum as well, but still, I managed to stop it in the end.

The only other ailment bothering me was . Very tender! Duodenal Donald and Anne Gyna were being sweethearts this morning. And Dizzy Dennis, , and the recent nuisance was nice and calm, too! Worrying innit?

I went to make a brew of Glengettie tea and took this photograph of the dark dank morning out there. To me, it looked nothing like on here when I viewed it on the viewer screen on the camera. Most disappointed in my efforts, I thought it would be much sharper?

Arrived. Richard was in the much better form today. We had a netter and chinwag. Seemed to go on for ages. I enjoyed us putting the world to rights. Hehehe! Took his lesser-filled treats bag with him, taking the waste bag with him. I think I mentioned something to him as he went down the lobby, and I have a feeling it was about something important, but I’m blown if I can remember what it was about now.

I got out the Boot’s Sphygmomanometer, manufactured by ZDEAC (Zhongshan Daguan Electrical Appliance Company Ltd) in Guangdong, China, out and working. And what a change in the figures today!

The up and down results continue.
SYS 132 (lowest for a week!) The DIA was within range at 72. The pulse had, at last, come down to 87 after five says being in the red zone.

And the body temperature was the best for weeks, at 34.3°f!

.I put the new figures for today into the Excel graph. I wanted to get an average reading, but it’s so long since I’ve used Excel I wouldn’t remember how to do it. Can’t read the advice I found on the web; when I zoom in, it gets more blurred than ever.

It’s times like this, and the same as yesterday when I made a right mess with WordPress and nearly lost the day’s blog. That I wish the Cataract operation would come soon.

I pondered over the failed morning view taken earlier. I do a lot that, you know, pondering. Hehehe! Trying to think what I’d done wrong. Especially after last night’s decentish sun-setting shots.

You are forgiven for not believing what this photo was of that I took next… Tsk!
Go on, have a guess. Haha! Yet again, it looked nothing like this disaster on the viewer screen? The red light shows, was the back of the Lumix, the charging of the battery light. Obviously, I took this with the Fuji camera. So that’s a mess I’ve made of a Lumix picture. And a disaster with the Fuji. Has the Cataract gotten worse? Am I going bonkers? Have I lost it altogether? Humph!

Just to put yet another dampener on things, I stood up to go and get the kettle on.
Yes…
Much pissed-offed language flowed, a few naughty words were uttered, and my mood dipped again, my interest in everything flailed, and depression dawned… not to mention the agony it left me in! It also pulled viciously at and her knee!
MedPhorpainI got a great dollop of Phorpain gel and rubbed it energetically all around the right knee. It did not ease the pain at all. So I took another Codeine.

Then, the same as the week before last, the instant fatigue come over me. I knew I just had to sit myself down and likely fall asleep. I had the forethought to make some rice for a meal, in case I’m in the land of nod for as many hours was last Thursday, or was it Wednesday? Luckily the rice can be cooked in the microwave, but of course, I can’t read for how long. Huh, then I remembered forgetting to ask Richard to read it this morning!
I’m going to get the rice done and sat down. I’m not feeling very good at all now?

Made myself some rice, added mushrooms and a bit of BBQ sauce.
The flavour rating, as best I recall, is 7/10.
Then I flopped down in the c1968 recliner and, for hours, did my best to get some sleep. My body instructed me to.
Nonetheless, I stayed awake. I did come close to nodding off a couple of times, but on the first occasion, started banging about upstairs and woke me. I think this is when I took these two photos?
Not sure, though. But it was light, so must have been around then. Both of and from the balcony.

The next time I was about to find bliss with Sweet Morpheus, ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ burst from the door chime.
Struggled up and to the door. It was Josie bringing the dishes and tray back from her Sunday lunch.

Finally… at last, around 18:00hrs, it was getting dark, and I actually drifted off to sleep! But moments later sprang awake with a jump. Unsure of why I had to get up to check the front door, intercom, mobile, and each room in case something had toppled over or similar. It gave me chance to unlock the front door before a carer arrived, at least. Nothing untoward or possible reason for whatever did wake me up with such a jolt and had my mind and body limbs threshing out.

Then minutes later, I was close again to joining Sweet Morpheus; and ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ burst from the door chime. It was the Sam arriving. Despite the rude awaking, I was glad to see Sam. Who dealt me the medications, and she closed the curtains for me. Choice of nibbles in thanks.

Sleep was still resistant, despite my body and mind begging for some.
No idea when I did drop off into the land of nod, but when I woke up, I felt a lot easier and fresher. And with a frantic need of the Porcelain Throne!

Inchcock: Monday 19th September 2022

/ Inchie / 2 Comments

POLITICAL CARTOON
♥ A THANK YOU TO THE NHS STAFF ♥
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GC sleepAInchcock woke up this morning at 04:25hrs. No change to usual, he wanted, well needed, a weewee! And as usual, by the time he’d struggled with his balance exercises, he also needed to utilise the Porcelain Throne. He seemed all calm compared to how he was during last night’s series of Accifauxpas. He made his way, on his painful right knee, to the wet room, still half asleep. He woke up a little more as he entered through the door:  Inchie walked into the door frame that had protesting violently, ensuring he was soon wide awake. He swore a little, gritted his teeth, and nearly spat in disgust at himself and Cataract Katie. Oh, that was in second-person style?

At least the evacuation was a lot easier and mushier, which I expected after taking the Galpharm by mistake for Co-Codamol last night. No bleeding or mess needed to be cleaned up. It took me a while to stop the shaving cuts from bleeding.
And I decided to get the ablutions done while I was in the wet room. Did you see that? I made a decision!
Then got some Phorpain rubbed into , and of course , no painkillers, cause with the problems these last few days, I’ve taken a few extras, and that is not good.
After all, me being a famously handsome, sought after by women, brave, heroic sort of super-stud and intellectual, it would look bad if I couldn’t take a bit of pain.

I came out of the wet room without any further injuries and made a mug of Thompson’s Signature Blend tea.
The sky’s colouration was so different this morning. Yesterday’s deep blues had been replaced with an odd mix of browns and blacks. Still beautiful all the same. Ah, Mother Nature! Now, take note if you please; It was approx’ 06:00hrs when I used the camera to take this delightful morning view.

I did the sphygmomanometerisationing and luckily: very luckily, wrote down the figures to go on the excel record.
And got the computer on to update and copy the graph, as shown here. Then put the figures onto the NHS DVT blood pressure assessment page on the web.

I was back up to the Hypertension 3 again! I did note that it was last Monday, the last time it was so high. I’m not sure if that means anything connected to my dislike of Sundays?
I then realised I had forgotten to take a photo of the monitor and body temperature thermometer. Which, in turn, got me thinking, where is the camera anyway? Ah… in the kitchen, of course, that’s where I took the photo of the morning’s view… obvious, innit? But, No!
I poddled into the kitchenette to get it. After about 15 minutes of failed searching, I was baffled, to say the least.
Dementia Doreen filtered the thought into my brain: “Did you drop the camera when closing the window?
Oh dearie me, surely not? This was enough to reinstate my Sherlockian investigations. But, still no success.
So, the Hallway next. Nope! The junk room. Nope! The airing cupboard? Nope! Well, the dang thing must be somewhere! Hopefully, not 12 storeys down smashed on the pavement!
Back into the computer room, another time-costing ferret around. But nope. if it was there, I could not find it.
So, as of 17:00hrs, as is now, when I finally got around to doing this blog – the Lumix camera’s location remains a mystery. Hence my often used phrase: Such are the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions, and other grotesqueries that haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchcock; to curse with bad luck, create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare. worry, scare and confuse me!.
So, no photographs taken… apart from the morning skies one.

I was not feeling too good now and could have done without Herberts banging away. Still, it didn’t last for so long this time.

I got a call on the mobile and was impressed by the clarity of the new ring tone I’d chosen… But, could I find the mobile? Nope! Now my sanity was being questioned – worryingly by me!
Sherlockian Mode adopted again, and I searched for the mobile; it had to be in this room, or I’d never have heard it. That helped, not having to search the whole flat again.
Finding, after a lengthy hunt around, that it was in the coat hanging on the back of the chair I was sitting in at the computer created a smidgeon of ‘Feeling-Stupid’ in me. It was from Jenny, so I rang her back.
She asked if I would like some tomatoes, I thanked her, and she said she’d bring them up later and drop them at the door after ringing the bell. ♥

I’ve come across a single word on one line in the scribble memory pad; it say’s ‘Paper’? I wish I knew what it meant. Tsk!

Jane and Pete posing for me – 2018

Sister Jane called on the landline to see if I was watching the Queen’s funeral. I ended up feeling so guilty when I said no. Two sentences from her stern voice, and I put the TV on to ease my guilt! Hehehe! We had a nice chinwag for a while, but she got a call from hubby Pete, and she rang off.
Being as I’ve not taken any photos for hours and hours, mainly because I can’t without a camera – here is a photo I took earlier of Jane & Pete’s visit, behind the flats. August 2018, I believe.

At long last, I got the Sunday blog updated and as I was saving it ready to do a final grammar check. I got the shakes from i.e., , which are far more damaging than Shaking Shaun, cause they last so much longer each time, particularly when on the computer, as was the case here.
The hand shot the mousse all over the screen. I had no idea what buttons I’d hit, but the whole blog disappeared. No longer in Post listings! I don’t know how I managed to avoid bursting into tears; it was a close thing, though. After trying various things and confirming it was not in the unpublished or published lists, my heart sank. All those lost hours, gone like a puff of smoke! I was out of ideas; surely, if I’d deleted it, WordPress would have asked me for confirmation? I turned off the computer, no longer interested; I was in despair, grief and misery.

Walked into the doorframe, cuts shaving, the camera lost, and now, the blog lost.
As I felt myself sinking into a Dracula Depression, from somewhere deep within, I thought – hang-on mush, did you catch the delete button? So, without much hope, I got the computer back on and checked – There it was in the deleted file! I do believe I gave out a Whoop! Cause started his banging away, he must have heard me?

Thinking what a genius I am, I published the blog hastily and copied the web address to send by email to my multitude of followers, oh, yes, both of them! But: The address came up with ‘3-trashed’ in the title?
I remembered to restore the deleted post, but am not sure if it got through? No likes of messages have come through on it? Depression falls again!

The Evening Carer is due anytime now; I’ll get something to eat then.
Jodie rang and entered. The first thing she said was, “Oh, you’re topless!” I covered my man breasts with my hands, laughed and said, “Oh, sorry!” I put a jacket on straight away. Jodie did the medications, and we had a minute or two of nattering and laughing. I gave her Shepherd’s Pie meal that I forgot to give to Josie, and she seemed pleased with that. She took the waste bag with her on the way out. I locked the door, and I went into the wet room for a quick wash and do the .
: I found the Lumix Camera!!! It was in with the PPs in the bag… How and why I should put it there in the first place; will have to remain a secret with Dementia Doreen forever!

Boy, I was tickled-pink at finding it! Following making a meal, which I rated for Taste-Rating at 6/10. Mushrooms with a drop of liquid smoke and vinegar added while cooking (not bad!), veggie sausages (tasty!), sliced tomatoes (tangy), and some of the terribly tasteless McCain crinkle-cut microwave chips. (I’ll use up what I have left but not get these again). A pot of Del Monte mandarins in orange jelly, it was so bitter, irony-flavoured, my first and last time I try these as well.

.Washed the pots, and for the rest of the night, I kept nipping out to the kitchen to take shots of the sun setting, and I was relatively pleased with some of the shots.

My body and mind told me to get to sleep, and Sweet Morpheus refused the request! But this time, it didn’t matter so much; Being overjoyed but felt stupid for losing it and over the moon at finding the Lumix. I couldn’t stop myself from repeatedly getting up and taking the changing photos of the evening view from the kitchenette window.
Rather, unfortunately, I’d gone into a smug mode over finding the Lumix and taking a few decent shots with it. After taking the last picture, I got a , against the cabinet door corner as I moved away from the window.
Naturally, I just light-heartedly laughed it off… No, no swearing, cursing, spitting, moaning, self-disgust, or growling under my breath.

I spent far too long fling the flat checks tonight. Many things had to be checked several times to convince myself that they were done right; Both sink taps were well checked, numerically. And the oven not being left on checks were done twice. Tsk!

But, Sweet Morpheus denied my dropping off to sleep. Then the Thought Storms arrived, and they were so bad this time. But, a sort of salvation saved me from the anguish, worries and fears: Colin cramps attacked, and this took away my concerns over the Thought Storms – and replaced them with agony! Both hands, left-hand fingers, and the left leg took the brunt of his onslaught. It’s still sore now, nine hours later. The right knee feels a bit delicate too. Haha!

Huh! Who needs sleep?

Diary Thursday 15th September 2022

/ Inchie / 2 Comments

TODAY’s POLITICAL CARTOON
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I didn’t get to sleep until around 03:00hrs. Hence, I was late getting up, well after 07:00hrs. As I pulled the quilt to reveal my legs, I’d got one leg deathly white and the other almost orange? The toes on both feet were looking bloodless!
By the time I’d had a wash and shave, Richard was coming in the door. His health looked poor, and he was coughing well in between the yawns. The poor lad! At least he had a few days off after visiting me, his last call. I got him a bottle of lime-flavoured tonic water; I thought the lemon might help with his throat a little. We had a decent natter, although he wanted to get home to bed. I gave Richard the stuff I’d had in the freezer for him for a few days but kept forgetting about it. Tsk!
I hope he can get some sleep. Druggies, yobboes and the water companies’ works are still outside of his home. I mentioned the carers not pressing the door chime when they come, as the two who came last night didn’t. Wished him well as he left.

Minutes later, I got a text from Iceland. Substitutes again. I checked the Email.

A sorry company nowadays Iceland are. Mind you, the others are not much better. At least the payment for short goods is made automatically with Iceland. J Sainsburys send you a code to use and a limited time span on it when making the next order. Of course, I forget to. CRAP!

Were carried out. Not a good one again.
As you can here on the right.
Having said that, there are some much worse ones earlier. The pulse was high, and the Chinese body temperature was a little lower again.


Another decent evacuation, I have to say. So I said it. Hehehe!

The Iceland man delivered goods. leaving them conveniently blocking the doorway. Good job; we didn’t have a fire alarm.

I struggled with the carriers through to the kitchenette and a start on sorting and storing them.
I’d only bought three frozen items, and I’m not sure that I meant to get the big bag of chips?
Thank heavens, I remembered Richard’s stuff in the freezer this morning. Else there would never have been room in there to get these three in. Tsk!
I bought some extra strong cheddar to have with vegetable shepherd’s pie… but being a dimwit of the highest order, I forgot to order the shepherd’s pies!
. The short-dated replacement for the veggie burger had a ‘Free Short Dated’ sticker on it… which covered the ‘ Use By date!  Good old Iceland!
At least they had some bread in stock today, well, cobs, not the ones I wanted, but still. I got the delivery sorted and all put away… where might be a mystery later.

Started on the blog and stayed at it for a good few hours… it was an embarrassing slow, error-filled job. Much worse than of late.

The landline flashed. It was a lady from Link transport. Confirming tomorrow’s lift to the diabetes course. I checked it with the calendar.
Minutes later, the Doctors surgery rang about my appointment with the nurse on the 26th. The surgery is closing that day for the Queen’s funeral. I bet the Queen never had to wait eight weeks to see her Doctor; now it will be ten weeks!

I found this photo on the SD card when loaded the others up. It seems that I had another meal last night or this morning? I was losing my grip on things here.
Within minutes I had to stop everything to take a rest and get something to eat.
I think the mind-blanks had taken another go at me.
I really believed it was about midday. Checked on the computer, and guess what time it was? 17:10hrs!

Won’t be long until the carers walk in without ringing the buzzer. I’ll stop now and get some nosh of some sort for tonight made. Where did the day go?

Arrived, it was Riya; I knew her name as soon as she answered my question; “Erm, what’s your name?”. Hahaha! Riya pressed the door chime as well before coming in; bless her. I wonder if Richard mentioned anything in their office? She got me sorted in record time, and Riya asked if there was anything else. I said no, and told her to select a nibble and drinkie in thanks. By gum, she moves quick. I only just got to ask her to take the waste bag with her as she was closing the door.

I made up a meal, using the special offer 50%-extra free crinkle cut, McCains microwave chips. Some of the Jenny-supplied tomatoes and veggie burgers and sausages. I ate the burgers and sausages wrapped in a cob. Apart from the pathetic paper-tasting chips, all went down well. Taste: 6.5/10.

I managed to stay awake to watch a ‘Heartbeat’ episode, and I drifted off into the bliss of sleep.

What happened after that is a mystery, but evidently, I got up amd moved some clothes around?

Inchcock Today Wednesday 14th September 2022

/ Inchie / 16 Comments

POLITICAL CARTOON
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Sad, innit? Hehehe!
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I stirred into ersatz life around 0315hrs, in need of a wee-wee. By the time I’d caught my balance and was up on my feet grabbing Metal-Mickey, another need arose, that of the , and I made my way to the wet room,
I managed to give my right big toe a stubbing of excellent quality, pain-wise. On the end of the open door from the front room. Dropping Metal-Micky, which knocked a photo off of the corner unit and broke the glass of the frame!
I just had to sort the mess out there and then. I had a terribly hard job picking up all the glass while hoping and praying my efforts would be successful in containing or retaining the torpedo that was getting anxious to be freed!
I got it cleaned up, the photo back loosely in the frame. With Back-Pain-Brenda giving me some gip, I dare not hobble in the usual fashion, so I shuffled as speedily as I could manage to the awaiting closet.
  Got into the landing position for the seat, dropped the stick, and then whipped down the jammie bottoms and PP’s in one go; and plunk! I’d not even hit the plastic before the evacuation began.
After a few seconds, there was a worrying hold-up that needed some input on my behalf to get things moving again. Once I got through that snag, things went smoothly again and were not as painful as usual. A few specks of blood from Harolds Haemorrhoids, I reckon, the blood, what bit there was of it, did not have runniness that Little Incies Fungal Lesion shoots out.
The hot water was running better today. Still not like it used to be, but beggars can’t be choosers.
Made up two waste bags; most of the contents were from last night’s farcical series of & last night when I was making the worst ever mess of cooking an uneatable meal. I cringed when I wrote that, remembering all the mistakes I made doing it! I got Richard’s treats ready, not those in the fridge, too early.

Got the computer on, and the mind did it again… I had to sit there, totally incapable of gathering my thoughts or concentration. This happens now and again; I thought maybe it did last night when I was making the meal?

Notwithstanding, within a few minutes, the problems started with WordPress. It would not show the comments on the site page again. Which meant going through the comments tag, which offers no ‘Like’ button, and I always like to use that. Humph!

Nokia

Scam Text!

Around 05:00hrs, I got sa message on the mobile. An odd hour to get one of these, I thought… I heard the new louder tone I’d selected the other day, but could I find the phone? No! Well, not for what seemed like an hour of searching for it, Hehehe! I eventually gave up, and when I got back to the computer after searching each of my three rooms and clothes in the hallway, and knocked the pen off of the desk, got the picker-upperer to retrieve it and – spotted the phone in my slipper? Why I didn’t look there first, I don’t know… Hehehe! I’d love to know how and why it ended up on the slipper. But it will remain a Dementia Doreen’s secret, as a part of the mysteries and enigmas of Woodthorpe Court! The ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions and other grotesqueries that haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for me to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare, worry and baffle me!
I was so annoyed when I opened the message; It was one I’d been having for a year or two. ‘You have been in contact with a confirmed Covid case. Ring this number…’ Grrr! Scammers!

Arrived, looking a little weary the lad was. But we chatted away merrily… well, some of it wasn’t so merry. I told him of my frustration at WordPress not allowing me access to the comments and told him the problems it gave me.

He tried to help as best he could in between his yawnings. But between us, we got more lost with it. Hehehe! Gave him his treats; if anyone deserves them, Richard does. He always goes further in trying to help than any other Carers do. Bade Richard farewell, and I made a brew of Glengettie. There’s a story to this mug of tea: I put the kettle on and saw I was low on teabags in the caddy. So, went into the cupboard to get some more Glengettie out to fill the caddy. And found two tea bags that had fallen at the back. They were round ones, so not Thompsons. They had to be Glengettie, Co-op 99, or J Sainsbury extra-strong. Funny, how can one get distracted by little pointless things like this? I thought I’ll use one now, but it fell to pieces as I picked it up – Gawd, I thought, how long has that been there? I sniffed the other one, which smelt like a Glengettie to me, and made a brew with it; I’ll know by its taste. It was a Glengettie! Amazing how long they last, innit? Lost none of strength or bitterness that is usual with Glengettie. Just thought I tell yer…

Got the Tuesday blog finished and posted. Then made a start on today’s Ode. Got it finished and doctored, then got carried away, adding to the ode-word list… I can’t help it; I love words.

The ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ tune rang from the doorbell. I thought it might be Josie bringing the Sunday lunch tray and things back; thank heavens she’s not left it till later and woke me up again. But no, it wasn’t Josie! I opened the door, and there were some homegrown tomatoes on the floor… which had to be Jenny donating to me.
Always have a tangy taste bite to them, these that Jenny gives me. She knows I love them. Bless her.
I checked on the condition of the sourdough bread from yesterday.
I immediately, and that’s fast for me; I decided to have the bread, well buttered, and tomatoes for lunch… tea or dinner… maybe supper today.

I was late again in getting the done. This could have been that with doing them late yesterday and the graph going into the amber, I’d subconsciously left it late again? I got out the thermometer and started sphygmomanometerisationing.

Well, it was only a thought. Hehehe!
Back up to the danger reds level two, Hypertension stage.
SIA 169, DIA 75, Pulse 78 or 8, and the Body Temperature at 3.34°f.

This up and down is bothering me a smidgeon. I did mention it to the Doctor  I got no suggestions or instructions. In fact, I got no response at all.
It’s being so popular that’s keeping me going, you know! Haha!

I’ve started to keep a new record of the once-daily readings on Excel. It doesn’t look too good, just the two in the green
results over four days. Mmm! Hehehe! It’ll change soon; it always does; you watch, then a day or two later, it’ll shoot up again.

Time to get the bread and tomatoes prepared, methinks.
Bootiful clouds out there when I was slicing the tomatoes, slicing and buttering the bread and getting some chips in the oven. Luckily I have several plasters to pick from when I cut the finger.

I got the chips in the oven and spread some imitation butter on the slices of sourbread. Cut the tomatoes and went to do a J Sainsbury order for next week… but… Hard to believe, I know.


Obviously, Liberty-Global, Virgin Media supremo Mr Fries, has not managed to go four days without the signal going down. Still, as long as he gets his paltry salary of $23.6 million a year, plus bonuses and an expense account, why should he be interested in his customers? You must admire the man’s chicanery, thaumaturgy, figure-shuffling, slithery sidestepping and number-crunching. That somehow fools his bosses that he knows what he’s doing. I hate him, but I’m still jealous of the con-man supreme.

Got the fodder on the tray with a pot of lemon mousse, and I gobbled it all up without any bother. Mind you, it was a small meal for me. Purposely of cause, you see, as a part of my new diet regime. I am determined to lose weight by hook or by crook. I’m dedicated to it…

Two came tonight. Neither rang the door chime again. I mentioned this to both of them. I explained why, calmy, to them again why I wanted them to; “I could have been changing blood pants or taking a wee-wee; had I been doing either, the chime would have alerted me and given me time to stop you walking in and causing me embarrassment, you see?” I’m not sure it got through, and the new Carer seemed annoyed as if I’d told her off, saying We can’t get in your key safe. Well, the door wasn’t locked anyway? The regular gal was okay about it.

The hot water was still as hot as it used to be? Teggies did first, then the shaving – most cautiously. No more chunks of teeth fell off, one… I say…ONE tiny cut shaving, no dizzies, leg dances or banging into anything in the shower session! Brilliant!

Coming out from the ablutionalisationing, I went A-over-T on the towel airer! Clouting my head in the door on my way down. That’ll teach me to go into Smug-Modes! I’m going to try and stop going into them for a bit.

The view from the kitchen window was fantastic. Bootiful! That strip of light has been showing on clear nights for says now.

I put the computer on to see if Mr (Smoke & Mirrors) Fries crap Liberty-Global Virgin Media Internet service was back online – it was, but it ran relatively slow.

Back on the computer, and I updated this blog. Doing rather well at it, actually, for once. However. a . I finished my bottle of spring water and went to fetch tonic water from the kitchen. The view outside was now to me. Magnificent!

After a couple of further hours, I’d nearly finished this blog and was ready to check for errors – Hahaha! Why do I bother? I always miss a load of mistakes in every blog, anyway!

Gave me a short concert of clumps. Followed by a couple whirling noises… ending with a solid thud. I’d love to know what he’s making at this time of night… a drinks cabinet, mayhap? Hahaha!

Humph! Got the checking of the blog finished. I checked three times and found something wrong each time – I will not try again.

Hello, more sounds from Herbert above… I think I’ve worked out what he’s up to… I wonder who the man or woman is with him?

Morning all!

Tuesday 13th September 2022: Inchcock Today

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

POLITICAL CARTOON
WHAT HAVE WE DONE?
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The normal nodding off and waking up in a semi-panic, what felt like every few minutes, went on for hours. Eventually, I woke up in a rather desperate and sudden need of a wee-wee!
I fumbled about to get to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) in time... Embarrassment and self-hatred all at the same time… I failed to make it! The main reason was the discomfiting . Which came on before I’d got the PPs down… so that was a good thing. Even better was the way with which the Comfort pants contained the leaking liquid. Had I got the PP’s down before it came, I would have been in an even bigger mess! I clasped the lower regions and somehow got to the wet room with the wooden walking stick, and I used the WC. Despite the bladder letting me down again, I found some appreciation in how the PPs coped with it. I was pleased that I changed to these Depend pants now, more than ever. While cleaning things after taking the tinkle and refreshing my body, the need for the Porcelain Throne arrived. As I sat, alternating between trying to do the crossword puzzle and counting the cracks on the ceiling, as I awaited the cement inside to move, I realised how late it was! 06:45hrs!
Bit of panic then. I’d got s Sainsbury order coming this morning, twixt 06:00 > 10:00hrs, so I may miss it if I’m stuck sat on the Throne when it comes!
I foolishly, mayhaps, tried to force things along with all my might. Once it did start to move, it was swiftly over but so painful. And poor old Harold’s Haemorrhoids were bleeding badly, externally and internally. However, now having some Germoloid to hand, I could clean things up again and ease the stinging. Which I hastily did.
I tried the water taps again on the sink to see if the promised repair would provide me with hot water. Nope, just the tepidness once again.

By the time I’d sorted, washed and got dressed, leaving the door open in case the intercom rang, Richard, came in. He was in a rush again, but that did not stop the lad when he heard my tale of the hot water from calling the maintenance to get someone out yet again to look at it. Bless him.
Just before he left, the intercom rang, and I asked him if he wanted to wait to get the treats that were on the order. No, he had to go, up to the neck in it. Fair enough. Tanked him as the delivery was arriving.
I got the goods checked and returned some podded peas that had a sell by today tag on them. The brown sourdough loaf looked tasty – not to make sure there are no sliced fingers. Hehe!

The flowers for the wardens were what I’d call rustic yellow and red. Got some strawberries for them and chocolates, only need to add some cans of plonk. I rang Deana, but no answer; it might be a little early yet? Burgers for Richard.

Which I did.
Glad they had the Germoloids in stock. They didn’t have any of the Parmentier potatoes, Huh! I got stuff stored away, and I intended to get the Health Checks sorted out. Tried calling Deana again to tell her the nibbles had arrived, no reply.
Made my first brew of the day, a mug of Thompson’s Punjana. I forgot about doing the blood pressure and called Warden Julie, and I told her of the goodies ready to collect. Then, I got on the computer to update and post the Monday blog. The tea had gone cold. So I went to the kitchen to make another mashing.
In came Julie, quickly followed by Deana. I missed out on a natter cause they were talking between themselves, and I could not hear what about. Spit! I think I told them about the hot water.

Was busy making something mechanical, noisily.

It seems the hot water problem the Nottingham City Homes Maintenance could not solve has been passed on to a company called T&S.
Not that this chap could solve it for sure.
When I asked him what the problem was, he was honest enough to tell me he had no idea. all the tests he carried out showed it should be working properly. The only thing he’d changed was the thermostat, and he turned it up a smidgeon.
Well, three hours later, the water was indeed hotter. Nothing like as hot as it used to be, though, but I should be able to have a shave and shower in the morning.

What happened to the day? Nowt was done much, evening carer due shortly. Meal To get done. I’m going to make a chilli stew for myself. And will do my best not to cut any parts of my anatomy, slicing the sourdough bread to dip into the food. Hehe! I’ll it the meal prepared then… Oh, I’ve not done the Blood Pressure yet. I imagine it will be the opposite of yesterday’s panicking high? It does that a lot, up and downing.

Ah, much betterer indeed.
In fact, overall, one of the best for ages, methinks? ‘
I bet when I do the BP Graph site, it will be down low in the amber zone.

There, what did I tell yer? Two extremes in two days.
Ah, well, food preparation time for me.
I can’t help but think I’ve missed or forgotten something? Mmm!


ANOTHER INCHCOCK GASTRONOMIC DISASTER! What was I thinking about? How can even I; make so many cock-ups making just one meal?
Easily seems to be the answer! The good bit first, I didn’t cut any fingers slicing the sourdough bread… fair enough, I did drop the loaf, and did Back-Pain-Brenda no good at all, bending down to clear up the crumbs; then knocked the knife off of the counter. But it missed me. just blunted the tip of the knife.
It took me that long to clear up the crumbs; I lost more time trying to straighten the tip of the knife than I had to reheat the stew in the microwave.

The first spoonful indicated one of the reasons for the almost uneatable flavour I’d conjured up. (I looked in the waste bin later and realised this was true). I’d added a can of baked beans to the chilli stew, but think I put curry-flavoured beans in the pot, not plain ones!
I ate some of it, all the sourdough brown bread that was nice. I was soon back in the kitchen, putting the ¾s of the meal I’d not eaten into food bags to go to the chute in the black bags.
Where more causes of the calamity were discovered. The pot of BBQ seasoning I added was actually basil: the pot was still out on the top. Alongside it should have been a bottle of BBQ sauce from which I added a sludge or two to the meal… no, but there was a bottle of balsamic vinegar?
I shudder to give the taste rating any score at all it would have had to be a minus score. However, the sourdough bread was delightfully tasty. 1.2/10.

I washed the pots in the nearly hot water from the tap, and I got a packet of seaweed crisps to nibble and settled into the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy beige coloured, Harold Haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable from, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner, and went into a gloriously dream-filled sleep.

Jodie came in, not ringing the doorbell again. She hovered over my prostrate but crumpled adipocerous bellied body, giving out a loud but cheerful “How are you, okay?” I’m not sure if I answered or not! The visit was a blur, really.

I had planned to get up later and make a start on updating this blog… I meant later in the night. But I drifted off again, and I got another five hours of sleep in!
Waking at 03:35hrs, in need of a wee-wee.