True Tales of Woe

The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Security Guarding Woes – The brick works

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The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Security Guarding Woes

The Tunnel Chase: A rare Victory – Well… when I say victory…

AC001thermI was assigned to an out of the way Brick making company just outside of Nottingham. The site was spread over three square miles on the brow of a hill between two roads.

At the bottom. the offices, then the storage park, the massive workshops, then mud up to a tunnel with a conveyor belt, that I could walk through up to the gigantic waste tip at the top of the hill for patrolling/responses.

It was a Saturday night, the only night there was no workers at the plant. I was on a spot patrol up at the tip, checking the gates there.

AC001therm

As I turned to make my way back to the conveyor tunnel, I spotted a bloke doing a runner into the tunnel – the chase was on!

I RT’d control as I pursued the intruder, asking for back-up.

As I reached the entrance to the tunnel, I slipped on the wet mud, and slid down on my rear-end at great ever increasing speed and pain.

My RT, torch, hat, and dignity were lost on the slopes of that tunnel.

As I exited the bottom of the tunnel, my heart jumped as I was launched into the air.

I landed on the intruder.

As we struggled on the ground, the night manager (who had external gate keys) arrived on the scene, quickly followed by the police.

They apprehended the youth, and said they have called an ambulance for me, how did I feel?

When I realised they thought I’d bravely tackled the intruder through heroism and dedication, I did not want to lose that rare moment of praise.

We went to the gatehouse to sort out the paperwork etc, and there I noticed in the mirror that I did look injured, with all the red mud/dust I’d picked up on my bum-ski down the tunnel, had made my face look injured.

I convinced them that I was alright, just a few bruises and nicks. They cancelled the ambulance, and I continued to relish the part of being the hero.

The police left, and I went to the gate to see off the night manager, secured the gate, and got back to clean myself up and get on with my duties.

One of which, was to start the kiln at 0500hrs.

Could I find the keys?

It took me hours searching that bloody tunnel before I found them, started the kiln late and got a rollicking from the manager for me bother!

Inchcock Today Mon 9th Feb 15: Hassle Bother and Frustration Day!

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Sunday 9th February 2015

I stirred about 030ohrs – WC (no blood but plenty of pain), made a cuppa, started laptop put heater on.

Angina bad, arthritis fair, ulcers, blue bruises and aches from me Whoopsiedangleplop abating nicely.

Finalised yesterday’s diary and posted it.

Laptop making odd bleeping noises? Maybe my catching the flippin’ ‘unturnoffable’ touch pad had caused it?

Did me contributions for LOMM.

Then Facebooked a bit, keeping an eye on the time so I’m not late for me Queens Medical Centre INR tests.

I’m not feeling in the slightest bit anacreontic this morning.

I had to attend to the back passage again – yer know like, clean up the blood and tenderise the little mites with the cream, had a dizzy while doing this… it’s the revealing of little every day facts like this that keep me going yer know? Hehehe!

Got the bag of goodies ready for the nurses at the QMC and one for the staff at the clinic. Then made sure I’d got me hearing aids  in, right glasses on me nose, angina tabs, blood swabs, right shoes and clothes on, bird seed, mallard earthworms, medications and hearing aid fresh batteries with me etc. and proudly set off to catch the bus to town.

0101frostBuy Jiminy it were colder than I thought when I set out, the cars and road were still covered in a thick jack-frost.

Brrr!

I got to the end of the road and realised I’d not got me mobile phone with me so returned and collected it. (Thought I was doing well like – Tsk!)

Off again, fed the pigeons while I thought no one was looking and caught a bus into town – a very full bus with a big bloke sat on one seat with his bag on the one next to him and people standing! Couldn’t believe it – I approached him and asked him nicely to move his bag so an elderly lady could sit down. He started using broken English and smiling but was not getting the message – I picked up his bag and put it on his  lap – this he didn’t like and suddenly spoke perfect English to admonish me… luckily this triggered some other passengers on the bus to offer me support and he gave up and put it back on his lap – fuming openly! The lady thanked me for intervening bless her. I’m just glad that he didn’t get physical because he wont half a big un… Phew!

I gorroff the bus and nipped into the Poundshop to get a pack of the cheapo Lion bars.

Out and across the road and caught a bus out to the Queens Medical Centre – and remembered en-route I had forgotten to take me Anticoaguation card with me – Blimey what will I forget next? No problem though I thought, plenty of time before the clinic appointment. I’ll nip up the D floor and get a copy from the Anticoagulation clinic first – they seem to accept the fact that I’m going gaga and don’t say too much about it when I forget more often than take it with me on me appointment days recently, bless them.

Feeling a bit ‘Not-as-well-as-I-should’ like, I took the lift up today – eventually!

Not having used them before, I got in the first one to arrive, nobody warned me of the scrum skills one needs to survive the experience against the opposition squad lift users team.

Anyroad, it went down to A (I was on B), thinking it would to go up then, it did to B, then down to A, then up to B, then down to A, then up to back to B – despite my pressing the D floor button. Everyone who fought their way into it got off without a word, I assumed after growing a beard that this lift must be dedicated to use between these two floors – but why the other floors option buttons?

So I abandoned the lift and waited for another. This one got me to D floor – I’d almost forgotten why I was going to D floor by now… Hehe.

I went in and joined the queue, and when my turn at the reception came the lady looked up saw me, cocked her head to one side and gave me her standard look that said clearly “Oh dear him again” – I didn’t have to explain why I’d called. She asked if I’d got me Alert Card with me – I had and handed it to her and she printed of a new record card for me. I have to keep the Alert Card with me at all time and show it any medical professional before being treated – so they don’t kill me with aspirin or whatever. This is the lady that kindly printed me a spare card a few weeks when I lost the one I had saying: “I’ll print off a spare for when you lose this one…” Bless her cotton socks.

0103qmcI limped down the stairs rather than risk the lists again to B floor.

There were many folk in the queue and I took me ticket and sat down to fill in me form… taking a crappily took photo of them from behind first.

Now more bother and hassle dawned – I realised that I should not have attended today – I knew as soon as I saw next Mondays date on the newly printed Record Card yer know – I pick up on things like that… eventually sometimes!

What a class one dick-head with bar I am!

Feeling rather embarrassed and ashamed of meself again – I walked into the blood room and gave the nurses their nibble carrier bag and told them wot I’d done – it says a lot that none of them said owt, just accepted it as normal like? Oh dear.

The next bit of hassle then came:

Phoning the clinic to see if I was due there today. Luckily I had the number in me mobile – but could I understand what whoever answered the phone was saying? No! Luckily a woman stood next time heard my difficulties wot I was having and took the mobile and spoke for me asking them wot I asked – No clinic today, it’s next Tuesday! I thanked the lady profusely and red faced I left the hospital.

0102ArtWhich is not the place I expected to see any Nottingham Canine Street Art really. But there it was about twelve foot from the hospital entrance.

I thought I’d catch a bus into Bulwell and go and see if any of the freezer shops had got any of me favourite blackcurrant and ice-cream lollies in stock yet. They hadn’t.

Soon caught  35 Bus into Bulwell, and had a go at me crosswords en-route, even managed to get a few answers to some I’d started weeks ago.

0104msI assembled all the photos I took in Bulwell Market of the mobility scooter drivers here in the short while I visited.

Only two of them threatened me today, bad enough – but what really wrangles is they didn’t even notice!

Back to the Diary proper:

More hassle!

I got off of the bus at Bulwell bus-station and as I stepped off the curb to cross over to the river Leen to see if any mallards were about to feed like – I slipped off the curb.

This did not stop me crossing over to the river Leen to see if any mallards were about to feed like – I just did it with a slightly more pronounced limp than usual as the graze on me ankle bone bled a bit. Huh!

0105mallThere were only a few of the mallard ducks about, the river was flowing very fast and the wind was bad. They seemed very nervous today.

I’ve noticed that in these conditions often they are absent all together, but I gave them a few handfuls of meal-worms and quacked back their thanks.

I found there was none of me favourite lollies available on sale anywhere.

Had a walk around looking in the cheapo shops – at Fulton’s they had some of the pots of instant mash in again so I got a few, and some Honey flavoured yoghurt.

0106busStatI was soon back at the Bus-station waiting in the queue for the bus back to Carrington – where a bit of hassle took place, but not for me.

A rather mephitic verbal argument took place between two women.

I was intrigued and tempted to catch the next bus and listen in on their…er discussion, but decided with my luck today best not to.

0107carringt2Soon got back to Carrington and as I walked from the bus-stop over the hill, I saw an opportunity to try and take another ‘Atmospheric picture’ of down the hill on Hucknall Road. The shadow cast by the old tree did it for me.

When I’d got into the hovel, WC’d and made a cuppa I started the laptop to down load the photo’s I’d taken – but the last one was not as good as I intended. I took the opportunity to try using me new Serif-draw package to see it I could do something with it to make it look a bit different.

I managed to make it look different but was not pleased with me effort overall though. But when I get time I’ll have a go again with Serif to see if I can master it like. It operates so differently to Coreldraw9 – well it operates without freezing like Coreldraw9 up to now! But I’ve not tried anything demanding of power on it yet.

Not all bad today though, the chip on the ankle is not bad at all, the arthritis is bearable, no bother at all from the ulcer, the piles are no worse than yesterday and not, I say not bleeding at this time, the new ticker is ticking only the angina is bothersome.

Made another cuppa and took me medications.

Tonight I plan to have microwave sausages, instant potatoes with cheese granules, yoghurt and a mug of tea.

0108

Tongue-in-cheek little fib…

And to think that all Prince William and Kate Middleton had at there pad was a starter of dressed crab from Wales, accompanied with mini crab timbale (mousse), crayfish and prawns, described by one guest as “exquisitely delicious”.

A main course of lamb fillet from Highgrove “done three ways” followed, before being treated to a trio of mini-puddings of trifle, chocolate fondant and home-made ice-cream in brandy-snap baskets.

The meal, which lasted around two hours, was served with wines, thought to be from the Buckingham Palace and Clarence House cellars, described by another guest as “stunningly good” – a white Meursault Burgundy and Pomerol claret. Then the petit-fours and coffee.

I really don’t want to make them jealous!

When it came to noshing I realised I’d got me two beef and onion slices to eat within a days use by date, so had them with a pot of instant mash with cheese granules.

Not bad.

Inchcock Today: Sun 8th Feb 15: Still suffering from me Whoopsiedangleplop!

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Sunday 8th February 2015

I must have been drained because I slept for longer than I have in ages – managed about 8 hours, and when I woke up I stayed there for a while noting down bits from me dreams.

Underground in sewer like passages – many peope with me that I felt I knew but could not put a name to them… Chasing or being chased.

On a gigantic car which I could not see owt of in front due to being 15 ft high… filling up with milk from cows in Paris somewhere?

That’s all I could recall.

01M08Made a cuppa and took me medications, then cleaned up the back area that had been bleeding copiously during the night.

When I stripped myself down (I know, an horrendous thought sorry about that), I noticed the blue bruises on me shoulder and thighs where me Whoopsiedangleplop had scarred the yesterday. Tsk!

Angina and arthritis fair, ulcer okay and I found me hearing aids.

WC.

Got on with an idea I had for a Questioning of my life ode. It took me much longer to refine it than I’d planned. It may come over as a bit morbid but was written with satire and humorous intentions.

WC.

Got it posted and then finished off yesterdays diary and posted that too.

Cut me toe nails (Painful job again) washed shaved and polished – then struggled to get change into me clean socks and togs.

Set off on me little poddle about in an effort to keep my knees lose.

Fed the pigeons, and walked down to Hucknall Road, cut through Clumber 0701CyclistAvenue onto Clumber Avenue and down Nottingham Road – on which I had a close call with chap on his bicycle on the pavement riding towards me.

You can see how close he came to clouting me with the proximity of his rear wheel in the second photograph. I go to the bottom of the hill and turned right into Gregory Boulevard, down to 0702footythe Forest Recreation Ground and cut through.

Nice to see some kids enjoying a football kick-about somewhere other than in the middle of the street.

The sky looked nice and scenic.

I got up the hill and turned right into Mansfield Road.

I took a photo of the old flats near the traffic islands and the vandalised bus-top. Apparently they are asking for £180 a week for one of them. Wish I could afford it, it would give an excellent view of the cyclists on the pavements and an easy target for me 303 when I get it reconditioned like.0704Lidl

I turned left towards Carrington and thought a nice photograph of the sky was called for here.

I popped into the Lidl concentration cam… I mean shop, to get some cobs and a tomatoe – I always like the furrowed brows of the check-out morons there when they see me wanting to buy one cob and one tomatoe. Hehehe!

I saw they had some Chips in cheese sauce at only 99p in the freezer .

So treat missen to a couple at that price.

Walked back the flea-pit glad I hadn’t gone on a long walk as the angina and Arthur Itis were bothering me then.

0705chipsGot in and after the customary WV visit, put the chips in the microwave for the recommended 6 minutes. Tested em, and gave em another two minutes – tested em and gave em another three minutes.

They tasted ‘orrible!

Must remember INR tests tomorrow.

Inchcock Questions His Life: In rhyme?

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Sad and depressed Inchcock thought with Venom and Zest about his life – In Rhyme!

Q02

Why when born his mother wanted to him disown?

Why so ugly, and doesn’t he know the meaning of homophone?

Why at five into the canal he was intimidatingly thrown?

Why is he so naturally accident-prone?

Why Mummy ran away leaving him and Dad alone?

Why his bother went into the army, his sister went off to Rome?

Why in later years he never tried methadone?

Why his Dad always refused to buy him a gramophone?

Why he didn’t what was a pheromone?

Why his deafness made other folk tut and groan?

Why did like the sound of the clarinet and saxophone?

Despite his musical ignorance he seemed to like the tone,

Why he never got fed food that was home grown?

Why he didn’t realise he’d no garden just grey stones?

Why his falling in love Cupid had to postpone?

Why he did he not understand this thing about the the ozone?

Why didn’t he like tripe, cow-heel and any currant scone?

Why was it him that always grazed his shin-bone?

Why did he look like a weasel and not Stallone?

Why others used him as a stepping stone?

Why was he short on testosterone?

Why for misery he’d make a perfect cicerone?

Why he had no cash, pounds dollars or krone?

Why for morbidity and depression he’d become best-known?

Why, how had he become the perfect boring drone?

Why he had become pathetic and he hadn’t known?

Why was he no longer the girl-pulling cyclone?

Why is he in pain from knees fingers shoulders & hipbone?

Why could he not have realised and foreknown?

Why can he not resist a chunter and miserable groan?

Why doesn’t he swear like others instead he says, I’ll be blown?

Why self-survival skills the idiot couldn’t hone?

Why when deaf does he have an old basic mobile phone?

Why does he live a solitary zombie like life alone?

Why has his maturity just never grown?

Why in an aeroplane has he never flown?

Why is he a wimp without any back-bone?

Why does he think he’ll one day be well known?

Like Galileo, but Inchy will remain forever unknown,

Why he isn’t destined to fame or to sit on the throne,

Why has he never tried and tasted zabaglione?

Why his emissions of wind are so very well known?

Why for his passed failures he cannot atone?

Why confidence and ability he does not own?

Why he fears reincarnation or someone making of him a clone?

Why he lacks social skills and has no backbone?

Why he seeks a social outlet microphone?

Why he wants someone to adopt him or take him on loan?

Why they keep attaching him to an osteophone?

Why cyclist on pavements he just cannot condone?

Why he’s cheered up now is not known…

Yes it is, BT Internet’s back working & he’s on his WordPress Zone!!!

Inchcock Today: Fri 6th Feb 2015

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0501aWoke up and lay there trying to remember a dream… wrote down a graphic and notes for later when I’d have the laptop on, took photo of the note.

WC’d, bit of blood, angina still niggling, arthritis not so bad – started laptop and went down to make a cuppa returned and started Coreldraw9 and took me medications.

0501Coreldraw9 froze again, when I was doing graphic of me dream because I thought the photo of me hand written note would not be clear enough on screen.

Seems that Mike Steeden was in  a car at the end of a garden and calling some thing to or at me and I was calling back from a bedroom window?

Can’t remember owt else about it – but felt the house garage and garden might have been a mixture of passed dwellings?

Frustrating innit?

Had to restart system again.

Started this diary, then finished yesterdays and posted it.

Took me medications and got ready for a trip out up Woodborough Road for a change, I decided to bus into town then another out and up to Mapperley – have a wander about, take some photo’s and walk back down, should only take me about an hour to walk back I reckon. (Ha!)

As I walked to the end of the road on me way to the bus-stop I observed that Severn-Trent were digging and planning a lot more judging by the marks on the road and pavements.0502Carr

I caught bus to town, then another out to Mapperley, I’ve not been there for years so had an amble up one side of the road, crossed over and had an amble back then turned down Winchester Street – camera in hand all the time – even when I had me Whoopsidangleplop later!

0503TopsThe first new to me thing I noticed across the road when I got off of the bus like (All praise the Nottingham City Council Pensioners Free Bus Pass please!) was a 30 Minute Workout for Women shop had opened?

I won’t say what thoughts went through me head when I read the sign… best not to eh?

0504TopsThe Waltham antenna relay mast was clearly visible in the distance.

Within seconds I realised it had gotten very cold suddenly – then realised it was because of how high I was. Not on ale or drugs like, high height-wise like.

Does seem to get very cold up here. They had even put some sand/salt on 0505Topsthe pavements near the shops today – I wish they’d do that everywhere when it threatens ice and snow.

On my way back towards Nottingham now, after seeing some Purple and Maroon carrots on sale at £1 a pound at the greengrocers next to the Co-op store on Mapperley Plains, what next.

I looked them up when I got back to the laptop: Before the 17th century, almost all cultivated carrots were purple. The modern day orange carrot wasn’t cultivated until Dutch growers in the 16th century took mutant strains of the purple carrot and developed them into the sweet plump orange variety we have today. Before this, pretty much all carrots were purple with occasionally white and yellow 0506Topsaones? Just thought I’d mention it like…

I moved on and at the butchers they had a sign outside offering Exotic meats.

Ostrich, crocodile, kangaroo, camel and bison!..but no horse?

I wandered on (Feet aching a bit now, 0507Topsbut nothing compared to how were going to feel when I eventually got back indoors… Tsk!) and took scenic photographs best I could manage from a high points I could access.

As I viewed the thousands of houses below I got a touch sentimental thinking to myself:

0508FTopsAmazing to think that most of these dwellings will have an unemployed person or two in them, shoplifters, muggers, maniacs, Uninsured and unsafe Mobility scooter drivers, cyclist who cycle on the pavement, alcoholics, drug addicts, drug pushers, gunmen, terrorists and UKIP supporters in them, chilling!

0509topDAs I began my walk down the steep bendy Winchester Street I came across nature again that fascinated me.

Next to the pub was a hedgerow that had three distinct varieties of bushes all competing with each other for survival. I’ve no idea of the types of bushes they were, but this sort of thing often gets me thinking about humankind.

0510TopDiceAbout a third of mile down the long street I turned into Woodthorpe Park thinking I might save time by taking that route although not sure if I could get through, I persevered. First thing I noticed was that the snow from two days ago was still frozen in chunks on the pathways?

As I cut through some trees and came 0511TopSqout on the sodden grass, there was a squirrel climbing a tree trunk and he didn’t seem to bother about me, in fact I think he posed for the photograph. Nature again impressing me here.

There he was unconcerned with normal human beings and apparently having the time of his life… 

That reminds me, I must draw up a draft of me letter for David Cameron… hehehe!

As I walked carefully (I thought) down the hill towards the two blocks of flats it made me wonder why they had made them Senior Citizens only? Out of the way, hills all around and no shops 0512TopDflatsnearby?

Then I had me Whoopsidangleplop!

Sipped on the wet mud and grass and carried on down for a good way on my haemorrhoid ridden backside! Struggled up and collected the things that had fell out of me bag, thought I’d 0515TopDmudlost me shoes but they were just hidden from me view by all the mud on em… Tsk!

I could feel the blood coming out from my back passage and tried to get off the slippery surface but still had a couple of hundred yards to go before I reached the flats and concrete.

0513TopDwinchWhere I did me best to clean off the mud from me shoes bum and trousers, unsuccessfully.

Limping and in pain now I can tell yers…

Down past the laundry and onward towards Mansfield Road, not a happy laddie at this stage of me walk at all. 0517Frustrated, in pain, bleeding, angina rampant and had a dizzy spell! Oh hell! (Note the bit of poetry there to help lighten the mood folks?)

A good way to go too. Still, this part was downhill at least.

Eventually hobbled into Mansfield Road turned left and called into the Continental shop for a loaf of bread.

Took a photo of the sky when I came out of the 0516xshop, I’ve no idea why I did but I did so I might as well put it in eh?

Maybe it was the lack of traffic that made me want to record it?

Who knows, so much pain now I think I was getting a bit irritable with missen.

0520Not a good thing considering what was just about to take place at the top of the hill in the distance.

As I reached the Methodist Church this turd on a bike came around the corned on the pavement and nearly had me over.

I took a picture and shouted at him but 0518no response – I am getting so fed-up with this happening so often. If it’s not  a cycling it’s a mad mobility scooter driver! Grrr!

I calmed myself down and limped onward for about a hundred yards and this youth came passed me on the pavement from behind on his bike and nearly frit me to death.

0519Camera out and snapped him then I started to tell him off when he stopped, but he just told me to go forth and multiply, then he saw a youth he knew and gave him a croggy on his bike – still on the pavement!

What can I do about it?

I wonder how much a colt 45 costs nowdays?

I got in the dump and WC’d after painfully tackling the stairs.

Tended to me back quarters best I could, cleaned up the blood, creams applied and extra painkiller taken.

Feeling poorly now. Hehe!

Made a sandwich, cuppa and started to do this diary.

Feeling tired now as well – poor old sausage!

Coreldraw froze again, went through start-up again.

Made a cuppa and took me medications – had to clean up at the rear again – if they don’t stop bleeding I’ll go to clinic or GP tomorrow, oh that’ll be a Saturday wont it. I’lll see how I go, I’ve a feeling all the sleep I’ve been missing might make me nod-0ff at any time now, so I’ll end here folks.

TTFN all.

Inchcock Today: Wednesday 4th February 2015 Dentistry day

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Wednesday 4th February 2015

Took ages to get to sleep last night – eventually drifting off around 0300hrs then woke up with a start at 0545hrs.

Still got some horrible dreams in but can’t remembered any details.

Made a cuppa and took me medications later than usual.

Picked up the newspaper to throw it away and noticed the an article about the expected weather for the UK.

0301newsA biting cold airflow from Siberia dubbed the ‘Beast from the East’ will see temperatures plummet to -15°c in Britain next week. Really made me day that did… Huh!

WC’d… no blood hurrah!

One of me mobile oil-heaters died a death – moved one from front room into the kitchen.

Things to do today I pondered: Dentist at 1200hrs, might not be up to doing owt else after they have finished drilling and a-poking around in me gob? Must take stuff to the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop cause it’s close to the dentist at Sherwood. Must see about getting new heater soon before the big freeze comes?

Started this diary, Facebooked a while then did a bit of work on blog about Inchcock being interviewed on Radio Nottingham fun.

I realised that this laptop was using Windows to preview pictures and so downloaded Google Picasa3 because that gives me the file name with each preview.

When it was loading it offered a free Google+ Back-up so I loaded that as well. Now after about 25 minutes it has an hour left of the download of my photos to the site. And I’ve got to go to the dentists in 20 minutes? Do I leave it running or risk pausing it and putting laptop to sleep until I get back?

Decisions decisions… come on Inchcock make your mind up now…

I’ll pause and put the laptop to sleep now – just hope all is okay when I return from the dentists. Oh dear.

Got the stuff ready for the Nottingham Hospice shop and then did me ablutions.

Must say the innards seem a lot better today and Anne Gyna, but Arthur Itis is bad. Sneezing a bit too and runny nose. (I know… chase after it then)

Set off and started me walk into Sherwood.

As I at the pelican crossing at the top of the hill on Mansfield Road, the lights signalled green for met cross over and a bus pulled up – as I started to cross a sudden klaxon noise made me stop – just as well because a second later a paramedic overtook the bus and belted passed, I felt the breeze it was that 0302ambulclose… As I got to the other side of the road I fumbled to get me camera out to take a photo – but she was well gone by then, I took a photo though. You might be able to just recognise the ambulance in the distance at the second set of traffic lights?

I pressed on a little miffed into Sherwood.

303MSTwo cyclists on the pavement outside the library today. Tsk!

As I was going up the second hill I noted that the daily Mobility scooter chap was visiting his favourite pub again, well he does everyday bless him.

Hope he doesn’t overdo the plonk intake and run into someone or something when he comes out.

Up the hill and into the Hospice shop. Left the bits and then walked a few doors up to the dentists.

Went in and gave me details and was told to go to Room 2 up the steep stairs, so I did. I worked out they had six rooms in all – each one the size of a small bedroom.

304DentistNo signs of any bodies about so I took a photo of the room, missing the cobwebs and cracked wall plaster.

Eventually the female Obergruppenführer dentist arrived with her assistant in toe and commanded I sit down in the chair – I sat down in the chair.

She waffled on ignoring me trying to explain that I could not hear what she was saying, and with tools in my mouth I just had to hope it was nothing too important she was saying.

They took some x-rays and then gave me an injection of stunner and left the room to tend to someone in one of the other rooms – like a well oiled production line in here!

The foreman… er dentist returned after fifteen minutes or so and set to work with the drill and then filling procedure.

Half an hour or so later it was all done and dusted.

She filled in then handed me my file saying: “You can go now!” – so I thanked her and went, down to the receptionist and paid me £59 odd. The lady on autopilot said “Any pain you return again” – No doubt the £ signs I saw in her eyes were imaginary ones.

303Sherw2As I came out of the premises the sky looked even lovelier than earlier, but the wind was getting up again I noticed – soon as my hat blew off I thought ‘Hello, the winds getting up.’

I started to walk down the hill and called in the Continental shop for one of their Polish continental type sliced loaves and very nice it was too.

305Ambul2As I came out there was the ambulance parked up that had so nearly ended me life earlier at the pelican lights.

I took a photo not realising the female paramedic was sat in it. Boy did I get a look from her as I walked passed!

Tsk!

Poddled on and as I reached Carrington I saw the opportunity to test missen 306carringtonwith taking an atmospheric picture by the side of St John’s Church as the sun was facing me on Mansfield Road and wus tickled pink with how it came out. Especially as for some reason there was only one vehicle on the road gave it an unnatural twinge – no idea wot I’m talking about yer know, but it sounds good dunnit? No? Okay.

Got in and made a visit to the porcelain without any bleeding, made a sandwich and did some microwave baked potatoes and ate well and all of it – the teeth coped well with no pain.

Now I’ll see how the innards handle that now I’m eating again – crossed fingers time here methinks?

Hello hello hello… did I say no bleeding from the rear passage earlier? Cancel that.

The laptop was okay, and within an hour Picasa had downloaded the piccies. But Coreldraw is playing up again, twice I’ve had to force-close and restart. Sod-it.

I thought I’d listen to some music while doing this Dairy and played some Elvis on YouTube but the sound was very low, so tried another one and that was the same, couldn’t hear it… then I realised although I’d got me headphones on I’d not put the jack-plug in the laptop.

Now you may think that my doing things like this on a regular basis nowadays is due to old age, depression frustrataion and creeping senility? You’d be right!

Made a cuppa and took me medications.

Had a look in the mirror at me teggies and two at the back seem to have grey lines around them? I wonder if it was something about them that Frau Himmler was trying to tell me about earlier?

Suddenly feeling tired. Can’t nod off, just as well Brother-in-law rang, he’s calling round in the morning.

Watched a ‘Heartbeat’ DVD.

Inchcock Today: Tues 3rd February – Launderette Day

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Tuesday 3rd February 2015

Managed to get some much needed kip in last night.

Bits of dreams remembered:

Underground rats, feral cats and nurses in Victorian uniforms… soldiers lying all over the place but they were in Werhmacht uniforms and every one looked like the other in their faces… Dusty Springfield was the Sister and Hattie Jacques the Matron – I was in a line of patients waiting to be tended to along with soldiers who were headless, missing limbs, burned all over, eyes missing and all very thin in tatty blood covered uniforms – I had a splinter in my little finger and wondered why I was there at all.

Eventually an electric powered coffin on wheels arrived and they all started looking for me… I hid in a sewer and found Aneurin Bevan in there and we started to play cards and I lost every hand and seemed glad about this…?

Up and made a cuppa and took me medications.

Started laptop and visited the porcelain to check on ‘things’ – Much blood removed from the rear end – Cleaned it up again.

CreamHPrep H cream applied to the rear tenderness area, Phorpain Gel applied to my knees feet and hands and the rumbling grumbling innards were no worse thankfully.

I must get the laundry gathered and thing ready to take to the launderette with me, yer know… powder tablets, dryer balls, softener, cash, book to read dried seaweed to nibble etc I thought… fell asleep!

Coreldraw unstable again.

Went down and got the nibbles ready for the nurses and gals

at the launderette.

Washed and abluted, got missen dressed properly like, made sure I’d got me shoes and not slippers on, the right spectacles on, Free pensioners bus-pass, INR and Clinic paperwork with me.

0202skyGot the two bags of washing and set off to the launderette… the sleet and snow came down as I was locking the front door behind me… the kids passing by being taken to school thought it was marvellous… I wasn’t too keen.

Still, by the time I’d got to the launderette it had turned to dizzly rain.

Big John was outside having a fag. We had a natter and got on with our washing.

John soon finished his and I had to ask Mandy how to use the new soap thingies I’d got – apparently you have to put the pouches in with the clothes in the drum. I knew that really I just wanted to talk to Mandy.

Eventually I got the togs cleaned and dried and hobbled back to the mausoleum. Put the togs away and set off to the bus-stop on Mansfield Road – a little too wet for a walk into town this morning and time was pressing to get to me appointments.

Limped down to the bus-stop. The bus was full and I opened a pack of roasted seaweed and nibbled at some – the curious looks I was getting told me people wanted to ask what it was I was eating, but nobody did.

Dropped off in town and called into the Poundland shop and they did have some cheapo Lion Bars in, so I grabbed 3 packs of 4 bars at obviously a quid each. Ans some bits to add to the nurses nibble bag, then over the road to catch another bus out to the Queens Medical Centre.

Another conversation with a passenger ensued:

Inchcock:

Lady:

Inchcock: ‘Good morning’

Lady: ‘ I beg your pardon?’

Inchcock: ‘ Good morning!’

Lady: ‘Why is it?’

Inchcock: ‘Well I meant, are you having a good morning’

Lady: ‘ No… but you’ve cheered me up a bit asking me!’

Inchcock: ‘My pleasure!’

Lady: ‘I’m getting off the bus now… shame!”

With that she waddled off at the next stop – Confused a bit there I wus!

Still, by the time I’d got to the launderette it had turned to dizzly rain.

Big John was outside having a fag. We had a natter and got on with our washing.

John soon finished his and I had to ask Mandy how to use the new soap thingies I’d got – apparently you have to put the pouches in with the clothes in the drum. I knew that really I just wanted to talk to Mandy.

Eventually I got the togs cleaned and dried and hobbled back to the mausoleum. Put the togs away and set off to the bus-stop on Mansfield Road – a little too wet for a walk into town this morning and time was pressing to get to me appointments.

Limped down to the bus-stop. The bus was full and I opened a pack of roasted seaweed and nibbled at some – the curious looks I was getting told me people wanted to ask what it was I was eating, but nobody did.

Dropped off in town and called into the Poundland shop and they did have some cheapo Lion Bars in, so I grabbed 3 packs of 4 bars at obviously a quid each. Ans some bits to add to the nurses nibble bag, then over the road to catch another bus out to the Queens Medical Centre.

Another conversation with a passenger ensued:

Inchcock:

Lady:

Inchcock: ‘Good morning’

Lady: ‘ I beg your pardon?’

Inchcock: ‘ Good morning!’

Lady: ‘Why is it?’

Inchcock: ‘Well I meant, are you having a good morning’

Lady: ‘ No… but you’ve cheered me up a bit asking me!’

Inchcock: ‘My pleasure!’

Lady: ‘I’m getting off the bus now… shame!”

0203qmc1With that she waddled off at the next stop – Confused a bit there I wus!Dropped off at the QMC and as I was walking towards the entrance I glanced over the railings to the lower floor and saw two vehicles parked on the tatty yellow No Parking lines , next to a pedestrian crossing and the Emergency Ambulance entrance on – Naughty!

Still maybe with the shortage of parking spaces they might have let them off?

0203qmc2I got into the haematology – very very busy and was eventually seen to and gave the gals their nibbles, but they had no time to talk today – blimey never seen so many folk there.

Walked a different way back out and got lost for a while, but soon got me bearings again. It’s well sign posting there.

0204GUMCaught the free hospital to hospital bus to the Nottingham City Hospital and the G.U.M. Clinic – having remembered to take me daily swabs of blood with me. Superior mode adopted here

I had gloved hands where no man should have them poked – samples taken and instructed to ‘Carry on as I have been doing’ the results are expected in 7 days and I will be contacted then.

0206bulbusI thanked them, and uncomfortably waddled out and caught the bus into Bulwell.

The rain had almost stopped now.

I wandered over to the river Leen to see if the Mallard ducks were about and they were.

0205BulpSo I went into a shop and bought some bread for them and returned to the river bank and fed the little mites – I love seeing them squabble and contest for the food, and for some reason their quacking doesn’t annoy me at all I like the sound of them.

Then I fed the pigeons some seed and earthworms before walking over to the Bulwell Market Place.

0207MS01The danger was the Mobility Scooter mad drivers… and many of them today there was as well!

One was having beer brought out to him on his Mobility Scooter outside the pub – and sounded very 0207MS02verbal… it really should not be allowed drink driving whatever the vehicle surely? I suppose he might have been a bit tipsy?

Another, a woman who might I think might have been suffering from Tourette’s Syndrome, she was not arguing with the market people at all, but won’t half using some choice vocabulary with ’em.

Then the big bloke with the bobble hat was much interested in going where he wanted as fast as he could and sod anyone in his way!

All a danger to pedestrians especially the less nimble ones… like wot I am…hehehe!

I poddled into Fultons Food store and had a look see if they had any of me favourite backcurrant/ice cream suckers in… but no. I’m getting withdrawal symptoms I think?

They did have some pots of buttery instant mash in, about the size of a Pot Noodle at 30p each, so I had to get some to try them like.

0208cycleWhen I came out of the shop two young gits on a push-bikes nearly had me – like lightning I got me camera out and shouted at them – well they were in a pedestrianised area… what one of them shouted back hangs between men’s legs! The other added a word that rhymes with Tanker!

I woddled to the bus-station and caught one back to Carrington – I know I’ve said this before and I suppose I will again, often – but I do so appreciate the free pensioners bus-pass!

0207MS03Read the weather forecast for Nottingham on the bus for Thursday – the only day Sister Jane and Pete can accommodate a visit from me:

“Rain Storms!”

Am I just lucky or what?

0209CarringI dropped off the bus on Hucknall Road and thought how beautiful the sky was – so took a photograph of it from the hill top – which on reflection was not a good idea.

Why you ask? (I hope)

Because when I turned away after taking it, a… nearly swore badly there, A git on the pavement on his bike came so close to hitting me I felt the draught!

But luckily these things don’t bother me like…

WWarnLie

0210SherbRdSo onward back to Flea-pit, and as I was walking down my street I took a photograph of the Mount Beulah Apostolic Church – I see it seems to have light spots on it? Wonder wot went wrong there?

I hope the camera isn’t playing up. I’ll take another photo now and see how it 0207MS04turns out… hang on…

Mmm. no white spots of lights this time – but a bit shadowy?

Oh dear…

I keep catching this bloody touch-pad and all sorts of things keep happening on screen, Tsk!

Anyroad I got int’ house and attended the porcelain room urgently – no blood, but well sore in the rear department.

Made a cuppa and started this Diary.

Brewed another mug of tea and took me medications – then the search began for me mobile phone.

Found it eventually in the pyjama pocket I was wearing… I know… sad.

Had a pot of potatoes and a beef pasty for nosh, followed my two mousses and later a Lion bar.

Took ages to get to kip again…

Inchcock Today: Mon 2nd Feb 2015 – Confused

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0101Monday 2nd February 2015

Lousy night again – it seemed every of the few minutes I managed to get any kip was dream filled but I can’t recall any of them.

Felt rather confused when I awoke to visit the porcelain and had a wobbly (Dizzy spell) then realised I could hear the wind outside… and I have the Iceland delivery then I want to go to see about the camera-pens and go to the Nottingham Hospice shop with some bits… my mind was racing with nothing really. Bit worrying at the time, calmed down now.

Laptop on, medications taken with water and set about doing the posts for the WordPress, Inchcock diary and to LOMM site.

Even got a wobbly when on the laptop then… Tsk!

Did some graphics and Facebooking.

Got ready to go for a bus-ride using me free pensioners bus-pass of course, instead of a walk into town in case the dizzies return later.

Caught the bus into town and had a hobble around the shops for a good while. Took some photos of interest.

I called into Jessops camera shop to get a new SD-card… why? Because I realised I’d took me camera and had not got the card in it… Tsk!

The chappy-fella put init the camera for me and I was off walking all over Nottingham taking photo’s of bling, buildings, trams, cyclists on the pavement, Nottinghamian citizens crossing the traffic lights on red etc.

Really enjoyed doing them, and no dizzy-spells either – good stuff.

Then I hobbled to the Menkind shop and found they had some Camer-watches on sale at £50. One for later after spending on me SD card, I took a photo of one with me old camera.

After walking around for a while I called in to get me Lion bars and they had sold out! Swines!

Hobbled up through Square and took some photo’s of the pigeons and two CPO’s holding hands?!?!

0102Caught the bus back to Carrington, slipped the pigeons some seed on me walk back to the hovel and kettle on, visit to the WC and upstairs laptop on and got me SD card out to transfer photo’s to Coreldraw9 to use here… message came up that told me the SD Card had to be Formatted before use… so I lost all me photographs wot I’d painstakingly taken all day, apart from the one of the watch-camera – and that came out horrible on the old camera!

Pee’d off then.

Decided after downloading it the search for the old SD-Card began, and within an hour I found it on the stairs behind a bottle of sauce – Don’t ask please!

I put the formatted card in the new camera and couldn’t get it out again – after much angst I had to use a screwdriver to gently encourage it to come out. Huh! Back to the shop tomorrow for advice.

No INR level checks this week, they have given me a fortnight.

Then the search for the new camera started – I knew it must be in the bathroom cause I’d used it minutes before!

At this stage I began to question whether or not Alzheimer’s was approaching a little faster than expected?

After searching upstairs downstairs all rooms (There’s only four), clothes and shopping bags, depression frustration and suicidal tendencies grew stronger… had I lost it all together today?

Not giving up eventually I found it… it had fell behind the toilet porcelain on the floor. Oh dear! Being deaf I never not heard it fall see?

So well annoyed with everything I started this diary, then the light bulb blew!

Fetched the spare bulb, step ladders and returned with them – treading on me reading glasses as came back into the room…

I swore.

Well and truly had enough now!

Changed the bulb without any mishaps, picked up the beyond repair spectacles and made another cuppa and took me medications.

Tomorrow may be a busy day I thought – Laundry, the Clinic, Back to Jessops, to the Opticians… good job the INR level tests were cancelled by the NHS I say, oh and the Dentists, blimey let me check… no that’s on Wednesday 1200hrs.

Sandwiches tonight… if I ever get time to make em that is – got some cheapo smoked ham from Friday wot I got to use up.

Remembered to put the new camera on charge.

Must do some Facebooking now. Too tired to do the planned blog I wanted to.

Huh, what an ‘orrible day!

Inchcock Today: Sun 1st February 2015

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GCgazeSunday 1st February 2015

Got some kip at last – but the dreams were ever present and I can only recall bits and pieces of them again.

I actually forgot more as I was writing these down on the laptop – using the free Apache Open Office package. Which I can recommend to anyone.

  1. I was in a muddy field I think after chasing after someone – clothes were torn and dirty – found a head (skull) and kept throwing it at someone far away who was shooting at me… each time I threw it another one appeared and I threw that…?

  2. Again in a cargo ship of some sort, massive it was, had cities in it. Kept getting lost and killed by various occupants, think I was shot stabbed, blew-up, bayoneted and a woman tore me head off at one time and I was looking up at me body that was then floating in the sky with eagles and vultures attacking it?

I forced missen to gerrup cause it were time fer me medications and I had to pay a visit to the porcelain rather exigently.

Made my cuppa and took me medications – noticed no snow yet, but the wind was vicious

WC’d again – no blood from the rear-end this morning, Arthritis is bad in knees and feet, but fairish in the hands and fingers also Anne Gyna is not too bothersome either.

Finished off and posted me diary for yesterday on WordPress blog and Facebook.

Did many hours creating graphics, posted a few.

Started this diary then started a new post for WordPress.

Tried out the new art packages, but couldn’t get into them so went back to try Coreldraw9 again.

Did some graphics until Coreldraw9 started freezing again.

Had me braised beef and garden peas in onion gravy with a bit of bread and yogurt followed my a Lion bar. (Gordon Ramsey? Phwert!)

Back and tried to do some graphics on Coreldraw9 again.

It again froze and I lost some more work… Gnash!

Went to visit on the porcelain again and the piles were bleeding – by now I was getting a touch fed-up with everything seemingly going wrong.

Cleaned missen up and listened to some Billy Fury music while I gave it another go on Coreldraw9.

Took evening med’s and devoured me nosh.

Struggling to get to sleep again.

Tsk!

Inchcock Today: Sat 31st January 2015 – Sleepless night…Tsk!

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Saturday 31st January 2015

Spent the night trying to get to sleep without any luck at all?

Gave up and made a cuppa and took me medications – then fell asleep!

Had to rush about a bit (Well I say rush… hobble rapidly is more like it) to get things ready for me visit to Sister Jane, she is not one to cross by being late believe me!

Had a shave and got missen spit and polished – got the things to take with to get Pete’s birthday and pay him a visit and I set off… then returned to change into me shoes from me slippers and set-off again…

0601

I caught the bus into town to save time being as I had got a little behind this morning (They can’t touch me for it… can they?).

I got off at the Victoria bus station and took a photo of the Victoria flats (Apartments) and the sky that held clouds that seemed to be travelling at great speeds across the sky, I half expected the picture to come out blurred. Hehe!

0601aI walked through the bus-station and into the top-level of the shops – sneaking some seeds to the pigeons on my way through – and I made for the Menkind Shop, after a look around I chose some pressies for Brother-in-law Pete that I thought he and Sister Jane would both like.

I opted for these three here like wot I photographicalised.

They both seemed to appreciate the humour in the first two, and the novelty and practicality of the ‘pen’.

I made me way in the wind and rain to the bus-stop for the West Bridgford buses and caught one quickly. Just avoiding being clouted by a cyclist on the pavement as I joined the queue – Git!

The bus was well crammed with passengers and when it came time for me get off – the left knee was restrained by Arthur Itis and I missed the bus-stop. Tsk!

Hey-ho, not too much rain when I alighted and started the short 10 minute walk to Jane’s posh house.

Mind you some of the pavements where no sun had got to needed a bit of careful manoeuvring along, due to the reattainment of the earlier snow making them a little slippery in places and the knee still not to enthusiastic about being used.

0601bI arrived at their dwelling and was greeted and was given a cup of tea – I mentioned it was a bit weak and Pete said it was the tea-bags I’d recommended for them because they were strong ones, Glengettie brand. I said I couldn’t believe it it was so weak. With a smile Pete added “Probably because he’s made three cups with one tea-bag! Tight wad! Hehe.

0604I got Pete to take some head shots of me so I could doctor and use them later in me graphics, oh and one of me and Sister Jane to put on Facebook for the TFZ gals and guys.

When Jane viewed the photo on the camera she said:

“Ah, the dimple family!”

0605Then I took one of Jane and Pete that I thought came out alright.

They were wearing red because they were going to the Nottingham Forest match against Millwall later – that is why I had to visit them earlier than usual.

0603Oh, I almost forgot, I took a photograph of Fooey – in his usual position in his favourite chair – sleeping!

He’s getting on now, like all of us and I have always felt an affinity with him – he’s old, friendly, poorly, deaf and pretty ugly bless him.

We had a natter for a while (Jane Pete and me that is, Fooey doesn’t yer know… Hehe) and then I walked to the bus-stop with Pete who was going to the shops and I caught a bus into Nottingham.

0606As we walked into West Bridgford centre Pete pointed out some Mistletoe growing high up in a tree. So unusual I took a photograph of it from under the tree. Never seen that before?

Then on to the bus-stop where Pete carried on to do his shopping.

Again the bus was crammed full but I was just glad to be travelling for free

with me bus-pass, particularly with the knees playing up so.

As I got off the bus in town at an early stop to have a little walk around, the wind was getting stronger although it was not a cold one.

I wandered around for a while and called into an Asian store on Goosegate got some seaweed and blackbean sauce.

0607As I came out of the store I noticed several vehicles parked on the double yellow lines near the DG Cabs HQ.

Naughty!

As I limped towards the bus-stop for the Carrington buses, I espied another dangerous cyclist-swine crossing the traffic lights and onto the pavement – 0608again!

By the way, when I was in the MenKind shop – I saw they were selling although they were out of stock today and were unsure when or if they would get any more – A pen camera! Must look again there, might get one to record the naughty cyclists on Nottingham pavements?

Back in Carrington I remembered I’d forgotten to make an appointment with the GP. Tsk!

Popped in the Co-op to get some bread. On the shuffle back to the dump I sneaked the pigeons who massed around me some seeds.

Got in and WC’d and the rumbling continued from me innards, but Arthur Itis was more bothersome today, and the rear-end piles were bleeding again. Still, yer don’t like to complain do yers?

Decided to have braised beef and instant potatoes for me nosh… ended up having beef sandwiches and microwave chips.

So tired now, hope for some sleep tonight.

TTFN all.