Inchcock Today – Wednesday 20th December 2017: Whoopsiedangleplop Wednesday – Never had so many before! Tsk!

Wednesday 20th December 2017

 Yiddish: 2017 מיטוואך 20 דעצעמבער

 0205hrs: The hemerine task of stirring into life, took on a new meaning this morning. For a few moments, I was not sure if I was still asleep or dreaming, as a sense of being found its way through the mind and homarine-like body… I saw myself running my hands over the bulbous stomach and fluid filled legs on the £300 second-hand recliner. Collecting, or gathering the brick-a-brack and debris that was scattered around my mass on the chair. The torch, a pen and a pencil, the screwed up notepad, the spectacles, hearing aids, a spoon, an empty cheese nibbles bag, and perhaps most surprisingly the Leningrad book I’ve been keeping in the wet-room and reading during difficult Porcelain Throne evacuations?

This concerned me. As I could not recall any dreaming or going to the WC at all. So I disentangled myself from the recliner and had a look on the wetroom. Nothing seemed out of place or different, apart from the book not being in its usual place. I wandered back to the front room and got the computer going. Hilda Hips was kinder to me this morning, and Duodenal Donald nae bothers at all to me at this moment.

Visited the kitchen to make a brew and found the medicine drawers open, and the washing bowls stacked differently?

Also, the Robin cardboard mat that Sister Jane left was on the tray on the counter?

Perplexed just a tad. Had I been sleep-walking?

Got the Health Checks done and took the morning medications.

Checking the fridge and cupboards revealed nothing untoward or malapropos there. It did remind me of the Morrison delivery due today. I checked on the computer, it is expected twixt 1200 > 1300hrs. I might have a walk to the chemists early to get the prescriptions if they are ready. It’ll be a good exercise for Arthur Itis and Hippy Hilda anyway.

I’d left the mug of tea to get cold, so brewed another one. Making this failed attempt at making a panoramic photo of the appealing skyline.

This gave me an idea for a quick rhyme about my sudden morning thoughts prompted by this picture. I stopped and made it and posted it off to WordPress and Facebook. It might gerra laugh or two.

0444hrs: Got up to here with the creating of this page. Then went on WordPress Reader.

Watched some traffic videos on YouTube, before tackling the ablutions.

Stripping off to have a shave and do the teggies, and discovered the jammy-bottoms were covered with splattered blood. Little Inchies Melanoma infection was leaking again. Tsk! After so long without any problems too!

I’d still got some of the Daktacort cream that was in-date, and cleaned and medicated the area.

Got the warm clothing on and set off, after checking I had not forgotten anything.

Getting out of the lift, and oh-dearie me, what a mess the carpeting was in! The caretakers, poor things will have a dickie-fit each when they see this!

Found out I had not taken the camera with me when I was walking down the road, Huh! Had a natter with a few tenants as they were waiting for the bus. Then pressed on, feeling quite good as I ambled down the Winchester Street hill.

Very had an Accifauxpa at the end of Chestnut Walk. The vehicles had apparently been parking on the grass verge, which is no longer recognisable as a lawn. More a sort of quagmire. For some reason, the Sir Conan Doyle’s Beast of Grimpen mire came to mind.

I managed to get a half-decent photograph of the allotments on the corner of Chestnut Walk and Winchester Stree hilltop.

I thought I might catch a glimpse of my lovely next-door neighbour Josie on her plot. Not that I know which one it is mind. I failed to spot her.

About a third of the way down, both Arthur Itis (Right knee) and Hippy (Right joint) Hilda, joined forces to give me more anguish than they have ever done before.

I think my body is disintegrating. Hehe!

Through the side streets and onto Mansfield Road, I had to manoeuvre my way through the dustbins and pavement parked cars. I know I’d be nequient in coming up with a solution. Other than maybe banning all but emergency and vehicular service movement, and shooting any pavement cyclists! No, no, perhaps not! Haha!

Not that the drivers have much of an option, there are no garages built into the housing and the road is very narrow indeed. Perhaps Mrs May could sort it out after she finished her cover-up of the Grenfell fire and the Brexit negotiations? That’ll be too late for me of course, I’ll be long gone by that time. Hehehe!

With the ailments on-form, it took me about twice as long as it usually would have to get to the chemist.

The weather was unexpectedly warm, almost pleasant to walk, if it wasn’t for Hippy Hilda and Arthur Itis, of course. Bit of hassle as I approached the shops.

A youthful Nottingham Pavement Cyclist belted passed me very close and then proceeded to weave at speed through some other pedestrians. Naughty Boy!

Eventually, I got to the pharmacy and joined the queue. Found out the prescriptions had not arrived yet and told to return next Friday. I mumbled in agreement, tutted at me for getting the date wrong again, and left.

Down and into the Lidl Store. Hippy Hilda was even worse now.

I got a chocolate bar for myself. Luxury Lemon Yoghourt for myself, and a packet of mini sausages in bacon… for myself! Grand!

Paid at the self-serve tills and made an error! I put one of the yoghourts through the code-reader twice. A very helpful chap was summoned to assist. His twist of his lips and sneer told me he was an experienced Lidl operative. One doesn’t display a professional contumelious nature like that, without the expert ‘Sod-the-older-customers-they-don’t-buy-much’ Lidl training! I felt about a foot less in height and thoroughly valueless by the time he’s sorted me out. I’m thinking of voting for him as Lidl Operative of the Year. A true nasty Nottingham Lidl nihilist. Try saying that when you’ve had a few, Hehe!

Out to catch the bus back into Sherwood. Dropped off the bus and wondered what the time was as I’d forgot the mobile to use. Crossed over the pelican lights and into the Nottingham Hospice Shop and gave the lady some nibbles for the staff for Christmas. I got a look of total amazement back, and she said: “For us?” Yes, I replied. “Oh!”

And that was it, off out to the bus stop. Where tenants Frank was having a fag in a nook, and Welsh Bill joined us later.

Hilda Hippy seemed to be no better but not any worse.

When w got off the bus, everyone dispersed. I got into the flat, had a wee-wee and put the purchases in the fridge. Then got the computer on to update this diary.

The Morrison came an hour or so later, he seemed in a good mood, bless him. He took the shopping through to the kitchen for me, telling me I did not look very well. I gave him a box of Terry’s Chocolates, wished him all the best and thanked him.

I got the nosh prepared. Did no cooking at all tonight.

Sadly, due to my cock-up in not ordering the Scottish Plain Bread from Morrisons, (I could kick myself for that!). And also forgetting to take the bread I’ve got in the freezer out, I managed with some wholemeal flatbread with sliced tomatoes, stilton cheese, chestnuts, horrible tasting BBQ chicken legs and some seaweed soya nibbles. A lemon mousse and a large mug of clementine juice completed the tray of fodder.

It turned out in my favour that I had an unheated meal; No sooner had I sat down to eat it, the innards summoned me to the Porcelain Throne. A long chapter and a half of the book reading session. Then the cleansing routine during which I saw that Little Inchy was again bleeding, so had a medicationalisationing period. Got some fresh nightwear on, and back to the £300 second-hand recliner to try again with the consumption of the salad.

Then it dawned on me that I’d left the Wrist Alarm in the wet room. I struggled out of the chair again and retrieved it from the WC top and back to the recliner.

After just two mouthfuls of the meal, the landline phone tone rang out. I got the food tray onto the next chair, lowered the recliner and with much bother from Hippy Hilda, I managed to get up and over to the phone – which stopped ringing as I got to within inches of it!

In pain now from Hilda, I started again on the fodder. The  Strobe Fire alarm and Pillow-Shaker then activated! I just had to check of course, despite the six previous false alarms I’d had with this system in the last three weeks Humph! So, I dismounted the chair and checked the outside for emergency vehicles, the door handle for any heat, there was none, so went into the sub-hall and listened for any activations, there wasn’t any. Annoyed and in pain now, I returned to the chair.

This seemingly Aeonian series of the Whoopsiedangleplops continued. Another ten minutes or so into the meal, and I felt the warm wet glow from the lower regions and had to return to the wet-room and clean-up and apply some more Daktacort cream.

Cleaned up and returned to the chair and managed to finish the meal. But afterwards, I could not settle, I seemed to be waiting for the next faux pas.

It was ridiculously late by the time I managed to nod-off. Grittlesperks and Huh!

Inchcock Today – Tuesday 19th December 2017: Long day, Whoopsiedangleplops and an Imbroglio. Tsk!

Tuesday 19th December 2017

Zulu: NgoLwesibili 19 Disemba 2017

2350hrs: I woke with a start and lay there a few moments pondering on why none of the ailments seemed to be giving me any hassle. Then I appreciated and was grateful for this situation.

I remembered that Brother-in-Law Pete had sent some photographs via Email, and dislodged my fearsomely growing ever fatter torso from the £300 second-hand recliner. Turned on the computer ready to download the photographicalisations later, then into the kitchen to do the Health Checks and take the medications.

En route, Hippy Hilda and Duodenal Donald both belatedly started kicking off. Tsk!

Not such good readings this morning I thought, compared to yesterday morning Sys and Dia were creeping up a tad. But, I’ve had worse I guess. And other than Donald and Hilda, things seemed fine, so no complaints.

While in the kitchen, I noticed I’d left the dish and cutlery in the washing up bowl soaking, so thought I’d get them appropriately washed. Worra Day! I dropped the deep dish while drying it; What a mess, bits of crockery all over the place and a bruised toe to-boot! I believe I might have said something like “Oh, what a shame!”, Hehehe! Cleaned it up, put away the medical equipment, made another mug of tea, and got on the computer.

I downloaded the photo’s from Pete that he took at the flat yesterday. This one I kept to use as a page header on WordPress messages and might try it on Facebook.

I took a second picture of outside.

The fog had got a mite worse. But I still felt I ought to go out today, to get some exercise in for Hippy Hilda, who was again playing me up. MAybe I could go to the Nottingham Arboretum and feed the ducks. I could go to town and back on the bus, and get a decent hobble about the pastures, pond, trees and the Chinese gun we still haven’t given them back. In the Crimean War of 1854-6, some cannon guns were taken at Sebastopol, and two of them were sent to Nottingham and mounted, and a heap of balls added. Yes, I think I’ll try to get some photographs of them too. That’ll be a good workout for Hilda, climbing up the hill to get to the site. See, I can occasionally make decisions. Proof that I am not always equivocal, uncertain, unsure, doubtful, indecisive, inconclusive, irresolute, vacillating, fickle or in two minds. I say with a hesitant voice, Haha!

Summoned to the Porcelain Throne, I got through a good bit of the Leningrad book. A particularly harrowing chapter of how the population were struggling for food and dying where they fell over through fatigue. I pray nothing like this happens ever again.

I think that Trotsky Terence may be returning again.

Eventually, I got the post for yesterday finished, then started on this one.

Went to the WordPress reader.

Did some Facebooking.

Then onto CorelDraw to make a few more day headers.

Did a TFZer Humour Graphic.

TFZers, Wanda, Gladys & Andy, with one TFZer falling down to visit them in the background?

I hope the funny side is seen in this one.

Closed everything down and got the ablutions tended to.

The view outside of the sky was particularly appealing.

The various shades of blue and greys I thought were different to what they would typically be.

Got adorned in warm clothing. Took the bin bags to the rubbish chute.

Got the charity food bag ready, blooming heavy it was too.

The tins and bottles at the bottom proved to be a burden I could have done without. Hehe!

I departed and got down the lift and out along to the Obergruppenfurheresses Hut.

Mary, Welsh Bill, Doreen and two other tenants were in there, and the gossip was not good! Three of the five, who each had already had their heaters fitted, found their electricity bills had… wait for it… DOUBLEDFretting and worrying Mode was adopted! Roy and his better-half have turned theirs off, just too expensive to run them. They have gone back to using oil filled radiators?

Scaringly, I heard a lady say she used candles near her leaky window to take the edge off of the draught!!!

Out and awaited the buses arrival. When the City bound arrived first, only three of us got on it. And more bad news from the driver. Because the route had changed from last year, they were struggling to get anywhere near the correct times allocated, on every trip bar the first one. Oh, dear!

Got the crossword book out en route.

Dropped off the bus on Upper Parliament Street and went straight to the Mission Cafe, and gave the girls their bag of fodder for Christmas.

Then next door to the Wilko Store. Yesterday, Jane told me I needed to keep the tea bags in an airtight container, so I bought some as I was buying a replacement for the pot bowl I dropped and smashed. Tsk, worra day today! The feet and Hippy Hilda were both in a foul mood with me, too.

Over the road and the Tesco Store. Determined to buy only some Pork Knuckle if it had a decent shelf-life on it, Tomato Cooking Sauce and some Part-baked rolls. I left with pork knuckles, fresh air spray and seaweed, forgetting all about the part-baked rolls until I got home. Humph! Still, I might have ordered some from Morrisons, I think the Christmas order I did should arrive tomorrow, I’ll have to check it later. (He says to himself knowing fully that he’ll not remember)

The state of my feet decided me not to even think about walking up to the arboretum to see the mallards today.

I left the Victoria Shopping Centre (Mall) with a distinct feeling I was being watched?

I went along Milton Street and over the road into Clumber Street.

The welcoming sight of the boarded up bankrupt retail outlets greeted me as I got over the road and ventured bravely down the pedestrian street.

An event took place here that is worthy of a little Anecdotum, I think.

The sun came out, and I thought I’d tuck myself in a disused doorway to take a shot at getting a ‘Moody’ one taken.

I was using the viewfinder, and I got a knock from behind, and called an Old fart for stopping like that! I resisted mentioning his eye, nose and earrings.

I repositioned myself and took the one above, and the gentleman hit me with his shopping trolley as he passed by! As I said earlier, Worra Day! Hehe!

Undaunted, I made my way to the Slab Square to take some pictures.

In the centre of the attractions, I stood and tool one from the left, one in front and one to the right. Not many folks about yet?

The two youngsters on the Swinging Chairs were not impressed with it much. Poor things looked bored stiff, bless them.

I walked to the far end and out of the melee, planning to go to the Pound World shop to see if they had any Payne’s Misshaped Chocolate Brazils in stock, that was the idea anyway.

I noticed the time on the Little John clock above the Council House. I could catch a bus, assuming it was on time, back to the flats, due in nine minutes. It would take me about that long to get to the bus stop, so I made my way there. Limping along nicely.

Nearly at the stop up Queen Street, and the bus arrived early, I got on, and he left four minutes or so too soon. Naturally, due to this, he did not pick many passengers up en route. When he got to Mapperley Rise, a man and woman got on, and boy did she give the driver some verbals! Shouting at him for being early and giving him looks that should really have killed the poor sod.

I was glad when we arrived at Chestnut Walk a few minutes later, I can tell yer. Hehe! Worra Day!

As I hobbled along, I heard horns pipping and raised voices behind me. So I turned to have a look.

A small queue of traffic had accumulated. Tenants vehicles waiting to get out, a delivery van and collection ambulance wanting to get in, and the bus I arrived on stuck in the middle!

By the time he gets to turn around the garages and out, he will not be early anymore. Worra Day!

The workmen were busy making a start on someone’s balcony – hello, they are on the 12th floor doing Malcolm’s flat. Malcolm (I think that’s his name, grand bloke), who already has had his heaters put in, and has replaced his doormat outside his door when others get threats of eviction if they do it… What going on here? Just who is this Malcolm? Has he got connections? Hehehe! Nice chap really, I like him.

Onwards, I painfully limped inside and up to the apartment.

Oddly, there was no demand for the Porcelain Throne usage or a wee-wee?

I got the fodder put away. Got the kettle on and put some potatoes in the slow-cooker.

The noise was horrendous again from Malcolm’s flat where the builders were busy doing his balcony. No point in complaining, it has to be done.

The confidence in their work has taken a bashing with all the complaints about the heaters already installed not working, costing double to run, or both. Will the balconies be safe? Will the new windows fall out? Why did we not get the same type of radiators that the SNeinton Flats got? You just turn on or off. The cost of running them is far less than the old ones, and don’t have to programme them? The heat is instantaneous when they turn them on? Does, back-handers come into the equation? Haha!

Not my words, I heard all of the above statements this morning in the shed and at the bus stop!

Got the new bowl come dish washed ready for use later. It cost 100% more than the last one!

Got the computer on to do the updating of this rubbish.

And guess what happened. Don’t bother, I’ll tell you.

Between British Gas overcharging. Losing faith with the heaters farce. Breaking Pottery. Hippy Hilda. The Plates-of-meat and the memory going, I’m getting down again. Hehehe!

Took a photo of outside from a different angle while I was checking on the crock-pot potatoes.

Had a wee-wee.

Tried the internet and it was back on. Amazing!

A bit late, but I remembered to take the medications and do the Health Checks tonight.

Went on CorelDraw to do what I think is one of my best efforts at a TFZer Funny Graphic. With the comment: “We’ve come up with a way to stop you missing your
morning medications, Mr Chambers. We’ve combined them all in one capsule!”

Took another photo of the evening sky and then got the bread in the oven.

TV turned on and a perusal of the magazine programmes available tonight for me to fall asleep to while trying to watch them.

MAny showing that I fancied looking at, Law & Order, History documentary and The Persuaders.

T’was an absolutely alimental, Ambrosia-like meal. Cobs out of the warm oven, sliced tomatoes and bacon baguette and two small cobs, small boiled in balsamic vinegar water potatoes, Cox’s apple, lemon curd yoghourt and a large mug of clementine juice.

Bootifull!

Got up for a wee-wee and took yet another picture from the kitchen window

An amazing strip of almost luminescant orange and reds ran along the skyline.

I was admiring this scene for a few moments after taking the picture, started to question whether there was a God after all: And dropped the Lumix camera. The aperture opening sticks now, and I have to encourage the thin metal lens surrounds to open fully. That’ll teach me to have deep thoughts! Tsk!

I got through an entire episode, including the commercial breaks, of Law & Order. Then I was off into the land of Nod!

TTFN all.

Inchcock Today – Monday 18th December 2017: Sister Jane and Hubby Pete came to inspect the flat. Hehe!

Monday 18th December 2017

Corsican: Lunedì 18 Dicembre 2017

0105hrs: This mornings expergefaction brought with it, confusion. Why was I half hanging out of the £300 second-hand recliner, that had mysteriously moved a few inches away from the old armchair next to it? The stomach was growling, Hippy Hilda horrendously painful, chest pangs and twinges. Feeling a little Dizzy Dennis visitation, one sock on – the other later found in the waste bin. Limbs aching. Lower back, shoulders and legs and Duodenal Donald dementedly angry with me. Yet, no Anne Gyna, Reflux Roger, Arthur Itis or Hernia Henry hassle?

I rearranged my semi-mangled limbs into a semblance of where they should be. I could remember no dreams whatever? Then a new pain started the moment I tried to move out of the chair, right chest, half-way down the ribs. I put this down to the contorted physical position I’d gotten myself into overnight.

I left the disarranged mess in the front room and limped off to the kitchen, in a bit of a haze. Did the Health Checks and took the medications – found I’d missed the last night ones, so just took a Magnesium, Warfarin and Simvastatin from them, with the morning ones, to avoid repetition.

On the computer to update the Health log with last weeks results. Which came out only a little different tot he previous weeks, although the Sys and Dia a few points up.

Then did this morning’s checks.

Responded to the rumbling innards and called at the Porcelain Throne. I think that Trotsky Terence is trying to fight back at Constipation Conrad again now. Resulting in a half-half session. Tsk! During which I had flash-back of a tiny bit of a dream I’d had, I was in London (I assumed) walking around the streets of Belvedere houses, chambers and bowls of natural body waste being thrown out of the upper windows, aimed at me. But the vision in my mind ceased within seconds?

On the computer to finish yesterdays blog off.

Made a mug of Breakfast Tea, then started this template going. The stomach still rumbling.

Went to the WordPress Reader.

0322hrs: Remembered I had the laundry to do. Assembled it and down and got it started.

Back up the lift and set the timer, and back on Facebooking.

The Notice Board had been prettified for the season of good-will.

Back to Facebooking again.

Half an hour later, returned to the laundry room to move the clothing from washer to dryer.

Some naughty pensioner had not cleaned out the filter on the drying machine.

 

Once more, back up in the elevator to the mini-apartment. CorelDraw used to start another TFZer graphic.

Down to collect the dried-laundry.

A lot of fluff came out of the filter afterwards.

Folded and collated the things and got them in the big bag.

Wiped around and sprayed the covers and doors.

Then I popped outside to take a photograph, and found that it was warmer out there than it was in the flat upstairs?

Despite there being a bit of frost on some of the car windscreens.

Gathered the bag and went back up to dwellings.

Stored the togs away and checked the bag of goodies for Jane and Pete. Another load in the fridge I must not forget about when they arrive

WordPress was still not doing anything but let me write on it. Would not save? Had to turn everything off and start again. Luckily this did the trick, and it is working once more.

I got some nibbles, made another brew and watched some YouTube crash videos.

Took a photo of the turning-colourful sky, and check to see if there were any Parking Spaces, to let Pete know when I ring him later.

Got the ablutions tended to. Nice deep slow shower, not cuts while shaving, no bleeding from anywhere like rear-end or teggies’

Sorted the rubbish bags out and took them to the chute, and went down with some jars for the recycling bin. I noticed in the lift on the way down, it looked like some graffiti had been cleaned off the wall?

I also spotted that they had put down some sand-salt outside. Bless the workers, very kindly indeed.

0900hrs: It actually appeared so much colder now, compared to what it felt at 0300hrs? Odd that. I’d thought I might have time to nop up to Aldi and get back in time for Jane and Pete, but if the hill is going to be icy, I decided to catch the bus up and walk home.

So I got ready and hobbled to the bus stop.

Arrived at the bus stop and had a chinwag and laugh with some other tenants. Dished out some chocolate coins. Two of them told me that the heaters do not work unless you have them all going?

I only rode for five bus stops up to the top of the hill. Said my farewells to the others and alighted the vehicle, and walked along Woodborough Road to the Aldi store.

The pavements were a bit dodgy with the ice en route, but I got there alright.

Got some cooked chicken legs, oven potatoes, part-baked baguettes and rolls to last over the break, vine tomatoes, a Melton Mowbray Pork Pie and a lemon curd yoghourt. I forgot to get the tinned tomatoes, though. Tsk!

Paid and left, walking along the top and down Winchester Street Hill towards the flats.

Very dicey manoeuvring over the ice as I descended the incline.

Hippy Hilda was the only hassle, but she was not in a good mood at all with me. By the time I approached the bock of flats, I was thinking about taking an extra pain-killer when I got indoors. Which I did.

The standing water was still frozen near to the builders compound top gate.

Got in the apartment and put the food away.

Made a brew and onto the computer and updated this twallop.

The tea went cold, so I went to make another mug.

For a bit of fun, I took a picture of the parking outside below, and sent a copy to Janet, telling her there were two free spaces available. I thought it might amuse her and Pete, then again, just maybe not.

Hehehe!

Opened Corel Draw, to start making some more funny page headers while I awaited their arrival.

Looked out and saw Jane & Pete arriving on site. I recorded this cause I might use it for blackmail at a later date:

When they got into the flat, I soon learnt, I should eat pasta, not bacon with the tomatoes in the pan, the kitchen was too full, the colour in the hall was the wrong one,  my spectacles that Pete used were not the right ones for him. My nose was running again, and the jumper I had on was the wrong colour for me. I’m only joking! Hehe!

Jane gave me a short coat that a friend who had passed away left. Nice and warm when I tried it on, right for summer or wearing in the flat on a cold night.

We exchanged stuff. Both had been to see another relative Mary earlier in the day (I think) and this bought guilt back to me a little. Mary’s husband had the same heart operation as I did, a week before me. And he passed away a week or so later. I took a lot of getting over that I should survive, and a family man with a beautiful wife, who I adored and kids that were more like friends had to die.

Chinwagged a lot, a few laughs along the way. Hippy Hilda was giving me a lot of pain, I think I hid it well, I didn’t want to bring down the rare light-heartedness that was prevalent, and I was enjoying.

Pete tried to download the photos he’d clandestinely taken to the computer. I got myself in a pickle trying to get the Wi-fi to pick them up, panicked and gave up. (Sad innit?)

They departed. I felt a little low. And as I was about to get the camera to take shots of their leaving from the kitchen window – an urgent call to the Porcelain Throne had to be responded to. Tsk!

Health Checks – medications taken.

Pasta Tomato sauce with mushrooms and bacon nosh. Enjoyed this. Put the dishes in the bowl to soak.

The energy soon drained from my grey-cells and body, and I got down in the £300 second-hand recliner to watch a Boon DVD episode.

Turned over to the TV after and drifted off into much-needed sleep. The phone rang, I managed to escape the recliner and get to the phone in time. Pete had found a way to send me the photographs he took on his new SmartPhone and had sent me them via Email.

I’ll get them sorted in the morning.

Inchcock Today – Sunday 17th December 2017

Sunday 17th December 2017

Scottish Gaelic: Didòmhnaich 17 Dùbhlachd 2017

0035hrs: Woken up by the ‘Herbert’ living above me as he banged and clattered bout. It didn’t last for long, but the damage had been done, and I was wide-awake. Always the same on the weekends. Obergruppenfurheress Warden Deana had spoken with him about this after several other complaints, but he continues making the noise, especially on the weekends, every Saturday and Sunday! I know I’m not the only one being pestered by this. But, what can we do? Maybe a visit up to his flat and a polite discussion – that would be beyond me and risky.

The only effects as far as I could tell, from the mini-marathon hobble yesterday, after hauling my overweight body mass out of the £300 second-hand recliner, was oddly enough cramp in the fingers and hands? And Hilda Hippy feeling a little stiff. I know, it does not make sense, somewhat enigmatical.

My mental legerity seemed in top-form this morning, but I was still annoyed at not being able to recall the dreams I knew I’d had.

Off to the kitchen and did the Health Checks and got the kettle on.

The Sys and Dia had gone back up again, Pulse as well, at least I knew the metal heart valve was still ticking over. Hehe!

Took the medications and made up another week set of pot doses.

Then the time arrived for another attempt at making use of the Porcelain Throne. I settled and automatically reached for the Leningrad book, but the fingers got an Arthur Itis and Cramp Craig visit and turning over the pages and holding the book became beyond my capabilities. Not that it mattered, because I did not have time to do any reading, as things moved and evacuated painfully, but with much swiftness.

I had the camera in my dressing gown pocket, and although a struggle with only one useable hand, I managed to photograph the warped hand and digits. Seconds later, the limbs returned to normal. Another perplexity to ponder over.

The tea had gone cold so, I went to make another one.

It was not very warm this morning again. But I opened the window and leant out to take this shot of the ‘Noisy One’s flat’ above me. When I saw how bright his lights were compared to mine below, I couldn’t help my imagination-urge off on its own at this stage.

Was he a reincarnation of Frankenstein? Was he creating another somewhat grotesque, but sapient creature in an unorthodox scientific experiment?

Getting this unexpected inspiration, I just had to get the computer on and modify the original picture.

I wondered why my lights kept dipping? Hehehe!

Back to make the brew again, and the distant view caught my eye.

All those people out there, getting sozzled, housebreaking, stealing cars, doing drug deals, shoplifting, worrying, starving, sleeping, scared, lonely, injecting drugs, on there mobile phones and internet, waiting for operations, hiding from the customs and police, dreading going to work on Monday, homeless, desperate, greedy, wealthy, proletariat, jealous, aggressive, tall, short, fat, thin, poorly, noisy, hoping, sarcastic, uncaring, … Oh dear, I got carried away there. Sorry.

It must have been freezing out there, for the people’s vehicles below were well covered in frost.

For some reason, I remembered the Woodthorpe Grange Park flower shop had an open day today. As long as it warms up a little, I’d like to take the camera and have a hobble up there later and have a look in the Tropical Plant house,

I feel in an odd mood this morning.

Went to the WordPress Reader.

I returned to the kitchen to look outside to see if it was getting any warmer outside, trod on the brush and pan and the brush shot off and hit me in the privates! By gum, it made me jump!

Made another mug of tea to replace what must have been the third cup that I’d let go cold.

On to Facebook.

Checked the Emails.

While doing this, about 0500hrs, I pandiculated and caught a view through the window, and was amazed that I could see no lights on the outside? Inevitably a power cut would have cut us off in the flats as well?

I went off again to the kitchen window to investigate. A right pea-souper had fallen on us. This made me rethink about going out up through the park to the Tropical Gardens after-all.

Compare this one with the earlier one above that I took three hours or so ago.

Made yet another mug of tea, a small one, though. Used the English Breakfast tea-bag, let it brew for ages, very nice and tasty.

Then decided to make up some templates to use on later dairies, to keep ahead of the game. Not too happy with them, might have to tweak the graphics later.

CorelDraw, working on a TFZer graphic.

I made this basic graphics and was unsure which of the delightful TFZer gals to use in it. So, I went on the TFZer file and clicked blindly on the page, and as luck would have it, I got Jillie from Australia to use. And she had mentioned chocolate in a comment this very morning. Perfick!

I had the time, so I made another graphicalisation for the site. I’m on a roll lately with these.

Four hours later, I got it finished.

Got it sent off to the TFZ site.

Got the nosh sorted out.

Sat down to eat it and had a ‘Funny Turn’. I hate these, when everything seems to be a dream, things get muddled in the head and appear to know this but can do nothing about it but wait for the fog to clear.

Brother-in-Law Pete rang, he and Jane are passing nearby in the car tomorrow and will call in to see me, 1130ish I think. I did not make any notes, but I am sure of this. His voice kept fading as he spoke.

I found myself washing the pots as I came out of, the Stupour is a suitable word I think, indeed, a better description than ‘Funny Turn’.

I put the TV on, well, a DVD. I’d nodded off in seconds I reckon. But kept waking up so often it was unreal, but always kept floating away again.

Inchcock Today – Saturday 16th December 2017

Saturday 16th December 2017

0117hrs: I woke and activated, amazingly at the same time as my brain this morning. The thoughts were belting around a little tolutiloquently to start with but soon settled into some semblance of logicality. I knew I had had some dreams, but could recall nothing about them at all. This is so annoying because some days I can remember bits to record, others, blanks like today.

liberated my flabby body and aching limbs from the clutches of the oh, so comfortable and warm £300 second-hand recliner, and off to the Porcelain Throne. Where, nothing but wind escaped, despite my being patient and sorting out the problems with Brexit and pondered on the future for Britain in my mind, as I sat there in my failed missions of passing something other than wind and sorting out Brexit. Haha!

I accepted defeat in the evacuation stakes and left the wet room.

Going into the front room, I noticed that the parcel of the winter boots delivered yesterday had fallen onto the floor.

How did I see this, I hear you ask? I tripped over the blooming thing!

The landing with the right hand outstretched and bending the hand inwards started Arthur Itis off, and I believe I said something like, “Well fancy that!” I thought of Doug in America after doing this, we seem to both share the Whoopsiedangleplopitis. Hehehe!

I opened the parcel to take a look at the boots. The paperwork gumpf in the bag with it weighed as much as the footwear did! The cardboard stuck in the boot s to stop them collapsing was thicker than the boot linings!

I put some of the Phorpain Gel on the wrist and hand, as I took the medications and did the Health Checks.

Got the computer on, and updated the Friday post, sent it off. Then, Windows informed me of updates coming in giving the option of restarting now or later. Being as the innards were requesting I make another visit to the Porcelain Throne, I pressed reset now and limped to the wet room. This time, the Lenigrad book got a couple of chapters read as I failed to pass anything substantial, just more wind. Then Reflux Roger started giving me some grief.

I got back to the computer and found the Windows updating had finished, I clicked to see what was in the updates and got this:

Plainly, I had gotten confused somewhere along the line and pressed something wrong, for there were no updates for today on the list? I’m not a confident person, and things like this, or unnecessary criticism don’t do my spirits a lot of good. Humph!

I emptied the computer Recycle Bin. That made a bit of room.

Made a start on this post. During which I consulted my scribbled scrawl on the dedicated notepad. I bet you all wondered how this old fart remembered what to write? So, my secrets out now. Haha!

The thing is, I could not make out what I wrote here in the circle? Whatever it was, I did this next. Sad innit?

Went to make another mug of tea and took this photographicalisation from the kitchen window. To the North (My right) this time, the light on the right coming from my other room in this leaking windows luxurious flat. (Touch of sarcasm sneaked in there I see.)

Then, stabbing pains in the stomach and a third summoning to the Porcelain Throne. Sure, this time of success, I hobbled to the wet room and deposited my increasingly obese bulk on the strained plastic seat and waited… Nothing happened until I was into the second chapter of the book, then; Spurt plop. One tiny bit, no bleeding. I washed up and decided to risk taking another Senna tablet.

Made yet another mug of tea, took the Senna and went on to the WordPress Reader.

Did some prep-work on the next graphic. Blimey, I finished it all! Took about four hours, but as funny graphics go, I was reasonably pleased with the result. (Swank Mode Adopted) Hehehe!

Ablutions all done. I decided to have long hobble into Arnold to Asda get some curried baked beans (5), Stilton Mini-Cheese biscuits (3) (They had none in again), Piccolo tomatoes.

I took this photo just before evacuating the flat. ? Because I thought it looked beautiful.

As an after-thought, I washed out the Bates Motel hand towel and hung it up in the shower room to dry a bit.

I made sure I’d got the card, glasses, umbrella, hearing aids in and started my walk to the lift. Where I turned around and went back to the apartment to collect the camera and mobile phone. (I know, sad!)

Set off again. Down the shuddering noisy elevator, out over the road and up the gravel hill to the top, and stopped to take a photograph of the sparse, leafless trees in the copse, getting the flats in the picture looking back at them.

Plenty of dogs taking their owners for walks and refusing to fetch the balls. (Hehe!) The lovely lady with the old greyhound was coming the other way on the downward on the path to Mansfield Road. She was kind enough to have a chinwag with me and allow me to make a heck of a fuss over her dog, a retired Greyhound she had taken on and was now living with her and her own greyhound. She only takes them for walks individually. I was in no rush, I’d cunningly timed it to allow myself an hour and a half to walk to Arnold and the Asda store, which should leave me time to call in the Arnot Hill Park to feed the mallards with time to spare.

Said my farewells to the lady and dog, and got some (For me), some severe forced hobbling in to make the time up.

By gum was cold this morning, so glad I had the hat, extra jumper and gloves on.

I all but did a Whoopsiedangleplop on the ice near the lights.

Further along, I came to the United Carpet shop, I used when I first moved into the Woodthorpe Court flats a few years ago.

Approaching Daybrook, my mind reflected on the Carpet Right store there, and I stopped opposite and stewed for a moment or two before taking these photographs.

The bitterness still lingered after all this time, at the way I was treated so shabbily.

The sign that fooled me into thinking that the Fitting was Free was still there –  with the minuscule lettering at the bottom: “When you buy the equivalent of Airstrip or Treadmore underlay – Stair surcharge applies”. Swines! I also had to pay the carpet fitters in cash – and they broke my Virgin box connection off of the wall and denied it! The van they came in was rusty, no tax disc and the two youths had rings in their noses and ears, not that I could see them clearly with all the tattoos, and they frit me to death almost, and I was scared into not complaining overly firmly. (Coward!)

Just a word or two of warning there, for any other sucker looking to buy and have carpet fitted by this company and their franchisees, like.

I hypothetically spat out memories and moved on. (Well I think I did, once I work out what hypothetically means, like, Hehe!)

Arrived at the Arno Hill Park and made my way to the pond and fed the birds.

It was frozen over. Many birds in the trees suffered attacks from the seagulls while I was there. They even swooped at a little Yorkie dog as I was going out of the gate at the other end.

I got the fodder as mentioned earlier, from Asda, by now it was questionable if I could make it in time for the L9 bus. I used the self-serve tills as the others had long queues at them. All went well this time, and I left and went to the bus stop. Being a Saturday, if I missed this one, it would mean a two-hour wait for the next and last one.

I got to the bus stop with six minutes to spare and hoped that it had not gone early. Twenty minutes later it had not arrived. I took a photograph of the new Asda filling station that used to be a  police station across from the bus stop.

Then the girl (About 40 actually) from the Briarwood 24 hour care home on Chestnut Walk up from the flats, arrived. Just as the L9 bus came. Good timing gal! We had a chinwag or two all the way back to the apartments. She told me last week that it was her birthday early January and I got her a box of chocolates. I told her this, and when we got back to Sherwood, she waited while I nipped up to the flat and returned with them for her.

Back up afterwards, the feet stinging, and very cold, but other ailments all being fair to me. Inside the apartment, I swear it was as cold as outside, despite the heat coming from the radiators. I ended up leaving the jumper on and putting the dressing gown on as well. Brrr!

Got the fodder out ready and put the new bits away. I flavoured the beans with some Vegemite and Maple Syrup. Blown if I can find the mustard?

Updated this blog. A bit concerned about the lack of Porcelain Throne success today.

Made a map of the hobble route. But missed off the last bit. Tsk!

The git upstairs is making noise again.

Every weekend the same. Hey-ho!

Getting very tired now after the early start again.

I went for a wee-wee, and guess what happened? Go on, guess. Hehe!

I got a face full of wet towel, I’d forgot about washing and hanging up the Bates Motel towel earlier. You’ve got to laugh! Hahaha! Clot!

Then, as I was getting it down, the hook came detached from the hanger. Fancy that happening to me.

Got the beans warming up slowly and kept nipping in to stir them.

Then I heard the letterbox snap. Or at least I thought I did. Went to the door and nowt was sticking in the box or laying on the floor?

Could the Aliens or Goblins have returned?

Went to check and stir the beans later. And it became apparent what the noise had been caused by the brush falling off of the pans handle. A lot of mysterious things happening today. The shoes falling off of the Ottoman as well earlier?

Turned off the computer and got the nosh served up.

The noise from the bloke upstairs was terrible again.

Still no signs of any need for the Porcelain Throne.

Did the Health Checks and took the medications, leaving off the extra Senna just in case.

So tired now, but not feeling any effects from the mini-marathon hobble, apart from a little ache in the thighs.

Put the TV on, Police Interceptors was on, but I didn’t get to the first commercial break before I was off and gone. Only to be woken by the ‘Herbert’ upstairs making noise again.

Inchcock Today – Friday 15th December 2017

Friday 15th December 2017

Bengali: শুক্রবার 15 ডিসেম্বর 2017

2315hrs: Woke with the innards really rumbling and painful with it. But the other ailments not bad at all, even Hippy Hilda, Duodenal Donald and Anne Gyna in a good mood! I glanced at the big clock and saw it was five to three, wondered why I was still feeling so tired after such a good sleep?

Dislodged my wobbly body-mass from the £300 second-hand recliner without any contretemps, and off for a much-needed wee-wee. Which turned into a Heavy Duty session; an excruciating one at that. Rock hard and unwilling to evacuate the rear end! Tsk! Trotsky Terence has been beaten into defeat by Constipation Conrad! No reading of the book this time; hard to concentrate when you think your bottom is about to burst open. Haha!

The tummy was still playing up afterwards. Needs time to settle after getting rid of the brown/black mini-concrete lumps, I suppose. Medicationalisationing and cream followed the cleansing session.

A Senna and extra painkiller might be a good idea, now.

Believe it or not, but when I came out of the wet room, I went back in seconds later to check that I had not left the taps on. Departed and had to go back again to see if I’d left the heater on, that I didn’t know if I had put on anyway, on?

To the kitchen, made a brew and did the Health checks. The Sys & Dia had gone down at last.

I then realised I had not taken last nights medications, so sorted out the duplicates and swallowed the rest with the morning ones.

I looked out of the window, it was drizzling just a bit, I could hear the emergency services alarms and klaxons in the distance.

It didn’t seem too cold this morning. Which reminded me that someone is calling from the builders today some time, and I am supposed to stay in… I think. I wanted to go and meet Pete in town, I rarely get a chance to meet anyone. Phissed about this!

Got on the computer and sent an email to the surgery for an appointment fo the nest blood test.

Made a WordPress post with the TFZer TRansport graphics and added some older ones to it.

Then updated the WordPress anecdota. On to the Reader. Then Facebooking.

Then did two more TFZer Transport graphics and paste them off.

Off to the Porcelain Throne again. Another struggle.

Had another brew. Did a funny ode about the dream. Posted it off.

My Beautiful Phantasmogorian Dragon

Off to get the ablutions done.

Enjoyed that. All refreshed, I made a brew and on the computer again, preparing items for future us on CorelDraw.

Jane rang, Pete had rung, her to ring me to ask if I could make it to meeting him. I explained no and why.

Found a tape Utube about the dangers of System built high rise flats, well… These below, one on the left in Leeds, collapsed. My block on the right. The Leeds one took a 26 weeks before it started to crumble, and it was built twenty years later than ours was!

The video (1987) goes on about how and the reasons these disasters took place, and warned of a catastrophe, like Grenfell. Pins, belts and hinges not fitted when built, because the men were on piecework and the holes were not the right size or shape. So over 40% of them, were not put in place!

The video is watchable at this link

Of to the Throne again,  things softening now.

There have been no calls from the builders yet. Looks like they are going to come late in the day, and that is not good for me, cause I’ll be wary and wearied again when they do call late.

Did some further WordPress Reading.

Got the kitchen floor mopped and counters cleaned.

Got the titfer and coat on and went to see if I could find anyone to ask about whether or not they will be calling on me. I met Cathy on the way to the shed, and she explained I was going bonkers… Not really, only joking. (Although she may av thought that, Hehehe! I’m in trouble now) She kindly came to the flat with me and checked the paperwork and filled in the diary for me – it was for January? I think I am going bonkers! She had a quick look at the Dragon Rhyme and said she liked it.

Updated this page, and got the Health Checks and medications done, then sorted the nosh out.

A plate of unfancy fodder. Sliced tomatoes with balsamic & beetroot vinegarette, four tiny oven-reheated cobs, sliced apple and pork knuckle. A pot of lemon dessert. But this was an excellent feast. 9.25/10 rating.

The salt pot I thought I might use for the first time in months on the tomatoes, but I use balsamic for fish vinegar nowadays.  The salt in the table-pot had got damp and sticky, so I did not use it, threw it away. Washed the pots.

The £300 second-hand recliner called me to it. Settled to watch another of the Seagal movies, this one had only Spanish subtitles. Not that it mattered, cause I got fed-up with falling asleep and having to rewind to find where I was on the DVD earlier, then dropping off again. So I gave up, lay there pondering on how the world has changed over the years and fell asleep.

My Beautiful Phantasmagorian Dragon

My Beautiful Phantasmagorian Dragon

There came in the night, a dragon to see me,
At first, it fritted me… made me want to pee,
It settled down, landing on my chest,
I smiled and wished it all the best,
It was puzzled by this, I could see.

I spoke gently to her, told her an anecdote,
As her claws tore away at my throat,
I gave her obvious beauty much praise,
Told her how she could change her violent ways,
She said earlier she had eaten a stoat?

She released her grip on my bloodied head,
When I gave her food, pork knuckle and Scottish bread,
Hoping she’d like it, and not get diahorrea,
She was the prettiest thing in my phantasmagoria,
Best of all I thought, as she drank my blood,
Someone to talk to, and that is good!

Inchcock Today – Thursday 14th Decmber 2017:

Thursday 14th December 2017

Turkish: Perşembe 14 2017

0130hrs: I stirred, pandiculated gently, added to the several pages of notes the pad, that, I assumed I had done overnight about the Whoopsiedangleplops yesterday, and the dream I’d had last night.

Off to the Porcelain Throne. All wind, no solids, not even any liquids evacuated. I did sit there a while pondering on the events of yesterday, doing my damndest to recollect something of the blank spots, without any luck. I got the shpilkes when I realised just how much I could not remember.

I recognised that getting the Wednesday the 13th Inchcock Today updated would entail a lot of difficulties. So I did the Health Checks and took the medications, made a brew and set about sorting it out.

The Sys and Dia are still a bit high. I assessed the physical attributes. Water retention in legs, bad ✘. Reflux Roger, A lot easier and gone down, not sticking at all ✔. Duodenal Donald, Playing up ✘. Hernia Harry, Good ✔.  Anne Gyna, Not too bad at all ✔. Hippy Hilda, bothersome ✘. Arthur Itis Knees, ✔, Hands ✔ Wrists ✘. Ankle Tendonitis, Okay ✔. A toothache, Not too bad ✔. Metal Ticker, No problems ✔. Haemorrhoid Harold, Bleeding ✘. Constipation Conrad, Okay ✔. Dizzy Dennis, Only one spell up to now ✔. Prostate Percy, leaking ✘. Boils, Still there but not painful? ✔, Trotsky Terence, Good ✔, and Crampy Craig, Okay  ✔ So, let’s add these up, (Where’s my abacus? Hehe!)

Goods ✔= 14 – Bads ✘= 7. I’m content, pleased-as-punch and tickled pink with that. Fank you!

I’ll have to think up a name for the Blank Spells when everything seems to go vague, and memories disappear, although thank heavens this is not very often, it has happened more this year than ever before. Blank Bob? Vague Vernon?  Maybe, Obscure Oscar? Suggestions welcome.

Many wee-wees throughout today.

On with sorting the diary out again, then another summoning from the innards to the Porcelain Throne! And what a session that was. Trotsky Terence seems to have been replaced with Constipation Conrad; Who minutes ago I gave an ‘Okay’ rating. Hehehe! Still, it gave me a chance to catch up on the Lenigrad book.

I don’t know that the pillock living above is up to, but he ain’t half banging away, sounds like he’s dragging and then slamming things?

Finally got the 13ths Inchcock Today completed and posted off.

MAde a start on this one. Good heavens, it’s 0800hrs already!

I wish I were confident about what is going on about the upgrade. I know I’ve to stay in until something happens today and all day tomorrow. If the builders come early enough in the morning, I can go see Brother-in-law Pete skating in the slab square.

Got up to make another brew and had a Dizzy Dennis. Whatever was wrong with me yesterday afternoon, has apparently not finished with me yet. I’ll best not go to the Social Hour today. That’s two weeks I’ve missed now. Humph!

Caught up to here on the blog, then did some WordPress reading and comments.

On to Facebook.

Did a bit of work on CorelDraw for the TFZer series. Then did the ablutions.

Finally, four hours later, I got the TFZer graphics done. I’m going to make a post with them all on. Here are a few of them.

Got the nosh prepared.

I’d overcooked the beef slices and potatoes. Used the balsamic glaze on them both. The beetroots were a little hard, the tomatoes were bitter, but the lemon mousse and clementine juice were okay.

I did the Health Checks and off to the Porcelain Throne – Constipation Conrad had now got a grip, and it was not easy. On the bright side, the Lenigrad book will soon be finished at this rate. Still unsure whether to risk taking Senna?

I felt weary again and got one of the Seagal films out of the box and into the DVD player. I was so pleased that it had subtitles… until I found out it was only Norwegian subtitles! Tsk!

Settled in the recliner, tray and dirty plate and cutlery on the chair next to it, I proceeded to fall-asleep and wake-up repeatedly for hours.