Inchcock Today – Sat 30 Mar 2019: Repeated Porcelain Throne visits – all day long. Tsk!

ZZZZX14

2019 Mar 30

Saturday 30th March 2019

שבת 30 מערץ 2019Yiddish

01:15hrs. I woke with the occasion implosion – followed an explosion, from within the catacombs of my innards. “Ah, I thought, at last, a possible successful evacuation is building up. I felt quite smug at my ploy of having the chilli meal last night, in support of the many failed Senna tablets! I slowly began to move the joints and limbs of my overly-stomach-burdened body. Anny Gyna, Duodenal Donald, Reflux Roger, Hernia Henry, Kidneys Kevin and so on; all seemed in a good mood with me!

A cracking rumble from the innards, encourage me to evacuate the rickety, now working again £300, ci 1968 second-hand recliner with all the haste I could muster! Off to the wet room, and onto the Porcelain Throne.

2016-06-14 11.28.23WD 0.100.255 Porcelain Throne Acitivites: *(Things are told on the following sections, just how they were. If you are disinclined to read of such activities, please move down to the photo of the sphygmomanometer, thank you).

Things began to move, as soon as I sat down. But, so slowly and painfully. I’ve often referred to such evacuation contents as torpedo-like in the past. This morning’s agony-ridden description would be Submarine-like! How my five-foot long canal from the end of the small intestines to my rear-end evacuation point the last part of the digestive system stayed undamaged amazed me. How it was not torn-open, and how such a mass of that size got through my tubes, I just don’t know!

After I had recovered from the shock and suffering, another thing puzzled me; How the heck did the plumbing manage to get all that down to the sewers?  The best part of the whole episode was that I did not see a single speck of blood anywhere during or after the procedure. I was a bit nervous after cleaning up and going to make a mug of tea, as I found that wind was escaping of its own accord, for several minutes. I assumed this was my innards, either celebrating getting rid of or preparing for the next dollop brewing up. Hehehe! 

6Sat02* Got the Health Checks done.

Sys 138, Dia 68, Pulse 86 and Temperature 34.5°, all looking good methinks.

I got the computer on and started on this blog creation. Made up the days Thought Graphic, and had a DTAAD (Dribble-tinkle-and-all-done) wee-wee. With sharp involuntary bursts of what sounded like a two-stroke engine from the rear-end, bursting forth, and painful they all were too!

I got far as here on this page and realised I had not updated yesterday’s blog yet, let alone sent it off. So, I got in with doing that. Klutz!

WD 0.100.255 *(Things are told in the following paragraph, just how they were. If you are hesitant to read of such activities, please move down to the next section, thank you). This did not last long, for another Porcelain Throne visit was demanded! This evacuation was nowhere near as painful as the first one, thank heavens. But it did start Harold’s Haemorrhoids bleeding and stinging badly. The volume was much less but messier.  It took an inordinately long time to clean up afterwards.

04:15hrs, I finally got the Friday blog finished and sent off to WordPress. Phew! 

WD 0.100.255 Things were beginning to get active still. The unstoppable aromaless ‘phut-phut-eeck’ winds were escaping with worrying regularity. The innards are now contumacious and bubbling. They are really going to work on giving me some discomfort! I don’t want to sound like an alter-cocker, but several areas of my insides, seem to become more active and harmful, at the same time? And the wee-wees are starting again, albeit they are of the DTAAD (Dribble-tinkle-and-all-done) style wee-wee.

2016-06-14 11.28.23I suppose I should have expected some discomfort, pains, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops like this to arrive this morning. After over 44hrs without a Porcelain Visit. The fun and pleasure of Sister Jane and Pete visiting me yesterday, and the good night’s sleep. With my luck and record, it is no surprise to me that with my terrible ill-fated fortuity, there is always the expectancy of a cataclysm, calamity, affliction, catastrophe and or disaster around the corner to suffer. No doubt, they were divined and retributed for me by the Greek Goddess of lousy luck, Tyche, bless her. In repayment of my recent bit of good luck, (For one-and-a-half hours yesterday; Jane & Pete’s visit) and as a lesson for me not to get expectant or hopeful of anything nice, prosperousness or pleasant happening to me, really. ‘Self-Pity and Sorry-for-Myself mode engaged. Hehehe!

6Sat03I went to make a brew of tea, and to take the belated medications that I forgot to eat earlier. (Twit!) I had an extra Omeprazole and Ramipril, to try and calm down the innards and Duodenal Donald who’d started to kick-off as well! Fed-Up Mode increased to Defcon 3, Haha!

I took a photograph from the unwanted, impossible to access to clean, hard to open and close, light & view-blocking new windows. I took this in response to my hearing that whining noise again. I thought I might see something outside that might have been the source of the humming sound. But no.

I got back doing this post. The winds still involuntarily coming from the rear, got more frequent, until minutes after I had to visit the Porcelain Throne for the third time!

WD 0.100.255 I far easier passage this time, although it left me feeling more sorer in the rear quarters. And, Harolds Haemorrhoids did not bleed. So that was good.

I went on the WordPress reader page. Then onto Facebook.

6Sat01 I stopped and bravely, I thought, had a bash at trying to cut the worst of my toenails.

No wonder I thought I was having difficulties in keeping my balance. I discovered that the left leg was more fluid-filled and puffy than the right one! Hehehe!

WD 0.100.255 I only managed to cut the two big nails. It was physically impossible for me to do any more, because of the pain. Hey-ho!

I decided it was time for some breakfast. Cornflakes. Had another DTAAD wee-wee.

WD 0.100.255 Utter fatigue came over me, I tried to sort some cupboards out in the kitchen to try and pull myself out of the sudden mental and physical collapse. I did well for half-an-hour, or so, then Anne Gyna kicked off, and I stopped. Sat down and put on a Dr Who DVD, nodded off for a few minutes, and woke up in need of yet another Porcelain Throne visit! These trips are leaving me very sore in certain areas now! Humph! Where it was all coming from, remains a mystery, but it had changed to the messy variety now, and cleaning up afterwards at least helped concentrate the vagueness and disinterest of the mind.

6Sat26aWhile I was up, I got the dinner sorted out. I deliberately made a small portioned one. Sicilian tomatoes, Melton pork pie and a handful of chips, a few slices of the Milk Roll loaf, and a small pot of lemon yoghourt.

I ate it all, but it took a while, as for some reason I was finding it hard to swallow. So I made sure I masticated the food as well as I could with my shortage of teeth. Hehe! I still enjoyed it, though, a flavour rating of 8.2/10 was granted.

A check on the state of the pins (legs), revealed knobbly shins and some new speckly-spots and blood papsules on the anaemic looking limbs. Hey-ho!

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WD 0.100.255 Fell asleep for a while, and was woken with Duodenal Donald and Anne Gyna both going at it, creating discomfort for me. I took a few good swigs of the inefficient, ineffective, inefficacious, inadequate, feeble prescription medicine, to try and calm thing down inside, along with the usual medications.

As I was settling back down in the £300, second-hand ci1968 recliner, another summoning to the Porcelain Throne arrived. Cleaned up afterwards again, and returned to the recliner with a stingy, sore tender rear-end! I put some Germolene on specific areas.

I got things in as comfortable a position as was possible, to alleviate the haemorrhoid pains, and had to get up again for another DTAAD wee-wee!

I think I watched some more of the DVD in between many dropping-off to sleep periods, varying from a minute to ten or so.

A very concerned and truly wee’d off Nottingham pensioner finally drifted into a demented dream-filled kip! Tsk!

Inchcock Today – Sun 16 Dec 2018:

ZZZZa24eR

Dec 16 2018

Sunday 16th December 2018

Swahili: Jumapili Tarehe 16 Desemba 2018

01:05hrs. WD0.51.102 Noctuary Report: The most unconventional and unique last seven hours, were spend nodding-off, dreaming, ‘waking, nodding-off, dreaming, waking, nodding-off, dreaming, waking’… solidly. It felt like I’d woken up dozens of times and fell back to sleep after thinking on the totally different dream I’d had each time. No SSWWs or Porcelain Throne interruptions whatsoever! No rest either! I woke up feeling tired and drained, with the brain reluctant to address any problems for a while.

I encouraged my heavy, short, rotund, burdensome body, with its stomach of massiveness and wobbliness out of the £300 second-hand recliner, and off to the Porcelain Throne room. Excellent session again, no leaking, bleeding or liquidificationalising.

I think I still needed sleep for I felt heavy eye-lidded, but thank heavens there were no signs of Dizzy Dennis or Shaking Shaun this morning.

The grey-cells had activated now.

Made a brew of tea and tended to the Health Checks.

7Sun02

7Sun03The sphygmomanometer operated the first try this morning.

The results looked far better, too… apart of course from the weight. Tsk!

Had an SSWW (Short-sharp-Wee-Wee), and drank up the tea from the China mug. Does anyone else think that tea tastes far better from a China mug or cup, or is it just me? And took the medications. The ailments were still in a good mood with me. Just the puddled and muddled brain to contend with. Haha!

WD0.51.102 I got the computer on, and guess what…

7Sun05

I struggled through getting the Saturday diary finished and posted.

Off to the Porcelain Throne for a second visit. Another good session!

I had a look in the fridge at the mass of options for today’s meal. I decided on the ready-made Lamb Moussaka. I want to add some extra minced lamb that I bought from Morrison’s.

At the Social Hour on Thursday, I asked Jenny how long to cook minced-lamb in the hot-pot for making my own shepherds pie, and she told me five hours should do it. But today if I remember, I want to try to some a little done in the crockpot of the mince, to make sure I can get it right, with the lamb seasoning. Then I will more be confident when I try my first efforts at home-made Shepherds pit later. Then have it today with the Moussaka. I need to get the slow-cooker going with the lamb in about five hours I reckon. I’ve set the alarm to remind me, but will I hear it, or remember why I set it in the first place? It’s not really funny, but even I have to laugh at myself! Hahaha!

That’s the plan anyway. You must understand, as Champions go, I am possibly the best person in the whole of the East Midlands for assuring failed, gone awry, goofed, misjudged, blundered, screwed-up, malfunctioning, and gone-to-the-dogs plans. The Victor Ludorum! Hehehe!

I got side-tracked there a bit again, lost my bearings, as if to say, sorry.

7Sun01Spotted this view through the unwanted more glass to clean, light and view-blocking new windows in the kitchen.

I zoomed in to take the picture. I took photos in four different options, but this one was the best I could manage. Sulk-Mode Engaged!

It looks like a nativity scene don’t you think? Of course, no one in the original would have an oak tree smattered with 240v AC electrically powered pretty bulbs.

Started to create this blog next.

7Sun10I remembered to put the minced lamb in the crock-pot. Although a little later than planned, due to my not hearing the timer alarm, or I had not set it right. Mmm?

I added some lamb gravy mix to the water. I did know whether to mix the granules in boiling water or cold? I meant to ask Jenny, but forgot to, on Thursday. Klutz!

So, I mixed it in cold water and agitated it as much as I could first, then poured it over the mince in the slow-cooker.

Went on CorelDraw to make a few graphics page headers in advance. I can’t believe it, but I got only one done up to now, and that took me over three hours! I could do with some Time & Whatsit training, here. Hehe!

WD0.51.102 7Sun11Foolishly, as I checked the lamb mince, I quickly gave it a stir with the wooden spatula and caught it against my hand as I go the lid back on. It was scorching hot and made me jump a bit.

I had some antiseptic cream nearby, and put some on straight away. The cream bubbled and disappeared from the skin! I ran the cold tap over the bottom of the thumb for a while and reapplied the Germolene. What a nebbish!

7Sun07aNext task, was to get the weeks medical dosage pots refilled.

Which went well for once. No mix-ups with the contents and pot, no dropping of the pods or medications. I adopted the Smug-Mode. Haha!

Back on to CorelDraw and made up some page top graphics.

Drained, I went to check on the meal. It was looking okay. I got the ready meal out of the oven and into a shallow dish, added the slow-cooked lamb mince (You can tell the difference by the different colouring), and put halved mini-tomatoes on top. I had some sourdough bread with the nosh. Flavour rating of 8.9/10, very tasty!

7Sun14

Later, after trying to get to sleep and failing, I went into the kitchen to investigate what I thought was odd noises, of a clunking, thudding nature. I found no cause for the sounds but did see these seagulls circling around the flats. By the time I’d fetched the camera, they had started to settle on the bottom field.

7Sun12

At one time, I thought they were going to make a Euro sign as they landed.

Again, the nodding-offs were varying between two minutes and ten-minutes and lasted for hours. 

At last, I drifted off properly… Nice!

Inchcock Today – Wed 19 Sept 2018: Porcelain Throne record attendance, and Blank Spots as I seemed to lose track of what was happening. Tsk!

ZZZ22fa

Wednesday 19th September 2018

Finnish: Keskiviikko 19 Syyskuuta 2018

0135hrs: On waking up, a repetition of yesterday mornings agrypnotic activities followed: Realisation that the Porcelain Throne was crucially required.

3Wed05a Off to the wet room (Although, this morning there was no Accifauxpas or Whoopsiedangleplops en route) and a swift evacuation in almost liquid form, but a mite less messy than on Tuesday.

Seeing a few Evil ironclad Boll-Weevil black biting beetles, far more than of late, around the wet room floor, I decided an attack was required. Cleaned up, and armed myself with the ‘Raid’ Beetle Killer spray, the camera and little pots to keep any captured weevils in to photograph them all after my, hopefully, surprise raid is successful.

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There seemed to be many more of the adult beasts today. I reckon they have been doing manoeuvres and attack training, that’s why I have seen so much less of them for the last two days? Hehe!

Everywhere got a good long blast of the ‘Raid’ Killer Spray – the can is now low in content. I must get some more when I can get out. Cough, cough, choke!

I might mention this to Nottingham City Homes, Come Dancing contestant and Cat Walk Model, Manager Oberschützeress Angela.

I added an anti-Trotsky capsule to the medication pot and took them.

I updated the Tuesday Diary and got it finished and posted off. Despite the interruptions of Liberty-Global Virgin Media Internet having many blank moments. Oy gevalt!

3Wed11

3Wed06 No sooner had I done this, it was hurriedly back to the Porcelain Throne! The evacuation was another liquified affair, but far less of it. The tummy started to grind away after the session again. Cleaning up took a long time.

Back to the kitchen and did the Health Checks.

3Wed05

3Wed10 Hello, the hiccups have started now, and this has spurred Reflux Roger to join in. Humph!

Went on to Facebooking for ages.

3Wed07 Cleaned-up, a lot better session.

3Wed10 Howling high winds coming from outside, really noisy. The new balconies seem to be making it worse? The news said: Winds of up to 80 mph could put lives at risk and disrupt travel and power supplies across parts of the the UK as Storm Ali sweeps in. “Two people have died after Storm Ali swept across parts of the British Isles, bringing winds of up to 100mph.”

Did the Health Checks.

Then on CorelDraw to make up some diary page header graphics in advance.

I seem to have gone into one of my rare, but unsettling ‘Out-of-it’ modes.

3Wed10 I came back to semi-awareness hours later. I was sat in the chair, the TV on, computer off, the small hoover and the Raid Weevil Killer spray both on my lap. Why? No idea!

3Wed08 The urgency of needing the Porcelain Throne added to my confusion, I was in a right Shemozzle. The evacuation was a little less watery at least. The brain taking its time to get a grasp on what had happened and was going on. I’d lost hours, memory-wise. Both my shoulders were hurting, well, rather, aching badly?

The winds were howling more than ever outside. I got the Health Checks done and medictions taken. Realising that the midday does pot was empty, so I must have taken them, but cannot recall doing so.

3Wed29aI think I must have been ‘out of it’ for a long time.

I had made some notes on the pad as well. Much of them unreadable.

Made a nosh of sorts, not a lot. And left most of it. Eating, was not high on my agenda it seemed.

Some blanks in my memory remained, although some things were clearly stored in the grey-cell box?

I got settled in the £300 second-hand recliner, to clear my mind, or rather to kick-start it. Hehehe!

The nodding off started straight away, minutes sleeping, springing awake, then minutes later dropping off again. Disconcerting, to say the least, especially as I had apparently had a long sleep earlier. Or did I?

3Wed09 Half-asleep, I got free from the recliner with consumate ease considering, off to the Porcelain Throne. A much better session this one, almost solid.

I honestly can’t remember getting back to the chair, but I found myself half-on, half-off of it at 0100hrs, when I sprang awake. So I got up.

It’s an odd life, sometimes.

 

Inchcock Today – Mon 17 Sept 2018: A Walk through the Tree-Copse, the War against the Evil ironclad boll Weevil black biting beetles going well. However, the Porcelain Throne visitations trebled!

ZZZ22e

Monday 17th September 2018

Esperanto: Lundo 17 De Septembro 2018

0200hrs: I woke up, convinced it was Sunday. Exited the £300 second-hand dodgy recliner and off for a wee-wee. A short-sharp-painful wee-wee!

To the kitchen to take the medications. The empty pots on the tray, made me realise it was either Monday, or I’d taken the wrong days medications. I got my brain a tad bamboozled trying to sort things out. I ended up checking on the calendar to confirm the day. Poor old Klutz!

Took the medications, with a certain amount of ambivalence. Then got the Health Checks done for this morning, and updated last weeks results.

1Mon001

1Mon01Last weeks Sys and weight average was high. Down today, though.

It was a bit nippy in the flat this morning, looks like Autumn has arrived and is rushing into Winter?

WDPolive Off to the Porcelain Throne. For a messy evacuation and to find that Little Inchies bleeding lesion needed unclogging (Ooh, ah… Argh!), and medicationing.

1Mon01aI spotted just a few of the evil ironclad boll Weevil black biting beetles near the crack in the floor near the door. All dead, about eight of them.

Cleaned things up, and went on an Evil ironclad boll Weevil black biting beetles search and destroy patrol, Raid and Rentokil spray at the ready. An inexorable approach was adopted and concentration at its highest level.

1Mon01aaWDPolive Stubbed my toe on the scales as I went into the spare room.

There were lots of the weevils on the window ledge in the spare room again.

I’m sure that they are coming out from the gaps and unsealed holes left when the windows were installed because the dead ones were found close to the tiny holes in the plastering?

Worryingly, all of the dead weevils were tiny young ones. The adults were noticeable by their absence. Not sure what this indicates?

Made another brew of tea to replace the one I let go cold, and onto the computer to start this blog, up to here. Then went to finish off yesterdays diary.

Got Sunday’s finalised and sent off.

Went on the WordPress Reader section, and replied to a comment.

Then, another summoning to the Porcelain Throne arrived. Oh dear! An extremely messy affair this time, and heavy in content. I made a brew and took a Dia-Limit capsule. Well, I nearly did. But I noticed a pack of Galpharm Diarrhoea Relief Tablets and thought I’d try these ones. On reading the dosage advice: Adults and Children over 12 years: Take Five Tablets up to four times a day…? Methinks these will not be very helpful. Huh!

1Mon01b

A lot of stuff was thrown down the waste chute from a floor above very early in the day, again. Tsk!

1Mon02WDPolive Off to have a jolly good ablutionalisation session. Well, apart from the shave. There I was lathering myself up, and I felt something on my head. I thought it was one of the evil boll weevils, and shot my hand up to grab it (Sillilly, with the razor in my hand) Hence a little knick! Haha! I did feel a fool, no signs of any weevil or beetle. What a Schmendrick!

I reckon I got a bit over enthusiastic with the shaving foam and some had got on to my head, which I mistook for one of the flat invading creatures? Tsk!

1Mon03I took two black bags to the chute on my way out.

Down and out of the lobby, I  turned and took this photo of some of Willmott-Dixon sub-contractors working on letting in the evil ironclad boll Weevil black biting beetles into a flat on my level of the apartment block. Hehe!

1Mon04As I crossed over the road, I snapped this one of old Chesnut Trees as the slowly began to drop some chestnuts.

The rain was stopping now, although the odd sprinkle of precipitation fell later.

I limped on, feeling in a fair condition, and at a decent pace for me too.

1Mon05Down Winchester Street and left onto Mansfield Road. In search of some of those tasty soft pastry lemon cream biscuit squares.

An almost deserted avenue, usually teeming with life?

WDPolive Diddly-Dangs! They had, coconut, banana, strawberry,  and Kiwi flavoured, but no Lemon! I asked the lady on the till when she had stopped talking to her friend if they had any lemon ones in stock. “If they ain’t there on the shelf, no!” and carried on talking about something or one called Kendrick Lemur, it sounded like to me, with her pal. I put on a sulk, returned my unused shopping basket to the stack near the door, and skulked off. Aha-ha!

I called in the Co-op Store and got a Beef Pie on offer at £1, baby potatoes and two extra large potatoes to baked and bash up with strong cheddar cheese later today.

Back up the hill, and to the Wilko store. I got another ‘Raid’ Beetle-killing spray. And a food bowl to replace the one I broke last week. I paid the lady, thanked her and departed.

1Mon06WDPolive As I meandered up the road, a Nottinghamian Pavement Cyclist came whamming it down the hill. I’d hoped he might skid in the rain, break a leg and index finger… but, no such luck! Tut!

WDPolive By the time I had reached the Charity Shop and realised I had failed to take the donations with me, called myself a name, gone in to see if they had any copies of ‘The Negotiator’ in their DVD collections, which they had not; Three other Pavement Cyclist also shot down the hill! Grumph!

1Mon07At the top of the hill, I rested a moment or two.

I put down the little and glanced down at it and thought; What an odd bag of shopping I had collected today.

1Mon07aI pressed on, with Anne Gyna, Hippy Hilda, Arthur Itis, and Duodenal Donald all being kind to me this morning.

I entered through the Woodthorpe Park Gates and ambled up the footpath. I saw precious few Nottinghamians on my way to the top. I did watch some dogs taking their owners for a game of ball, though. Hehehe!

I turned right and had a walk down through the Tree Copse. It looked a little sad all thinned out and losing leaves already. I photographicalised the walk down and out of the other end.

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1Mon14WDPolive The spick-and-span, so welcoming sight of the neat and tidy immaculate foyer entrance, greeted me as I arrived home and nearly tripped over the plastic tape on the entrance tiles.

I picked it up and put in in the bin.

I met Mable as she got out of the lift on her way to the laundry room. Gave her a choice of nibbles from the bag for her and hubby.

1Mon14aI got in the Lilliputian apartment, and a had a short-sharp-wee-wee. (Best if we just take it that I did this on average every half hour.) Hahaha! Why am I laughing?

I got the bits I’d bought put away.

Getting one of the large potatoes in the oven.

Took the cheese out of the fridge ready for mixing with the bashed-up spuds later.

Started to get the photos ready to use on this blog, then began to update it.

Liberty-Global Virgin Media Internet Down Again.

W Court

1Mon16The noise from outside had stopped

Must be the lad’s break time.

Off to the wet room for a w… Oh, no, we agreed not to bother mentioning the wee-wee’s didn’t we?

1Mon17The sky and clouds looked beautiful, although it was a tad ominous.

Made a brew of the most elegant English Breakfast Tea by Twinings. The Extra-Strong variety.

When I returned to the computer, I started actually falling asleep while typing!

Not good this. I haven’t been up for twelve-hours yet. And I’ve only taken a tiny hobble into Sherwood and back. So why am I feeling like this so early, even for me? I’m a bit nervous about falling asleep and letting the meal burn or start a fire even. Most aberrational!

Ah, the lads are back outside, and Global-Virgin is working, slowly, but still.

The spuds were ready to burn my fingers while I took out the flesh and mixed it with the extra-strong cheddar cheese, then returned it to the oven to brown off; adding beef pie at the same time.

Did the Health Checks.

1Mon20The cheesy potatoes were not up to my usual tastiness Sob! I don’t know what I did wrong? The large butter beans in tomato passata were flavoursome and mealy. The pickled cucumber was good. The apple was bitter, but okay. The fresh tomatoes were so-so. The beef pie was terrible. Even the last two soft pastry lemon cream cake squares seemed to have lost their tastiness? Flavour Rating of 5/10 is the most I can give it.

I left a fair bit of it and threw it away. Got the pots in the washing-up bowl to soak.

WDPolive The third Porcelain Throne session of the day! Mmm?

The usual evening performance played out. TV on, nod-off, wake, curse at missing a programme I wanted to watch, nod-off, wake up, nod-off, wake up…