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INCHY’S SPORTING FAILURES
Football for Oil Drum Lane Athletic,
They soon discovered I was pathetic…
I’d like to have tried something aquabatic,
But if I go near water, I panic,
Whist; for my partners, this was tragic!
They threw me out, but I was apologetic,
Weight lifting? 1st session, I looked cadaveric!
Angling Club had no wins, but I was the bus comic,
Darts, I played better, avoiding the gin & tonic,
Mt teammates christened me ‘The Dipshit’!
At that, I found I was even more chronic!
Now, at squash, I was doing well, almost dynamic,
Of course, I didn’t win any games, dammit!
Archery, not strong enough or ergonomic…
Parachuting, I did one; it was too frenetic!
Bungee Jumping, I did one, and it was fantastic!
Second go, that was something of a classic,
I ended up in the hospital when the platform split,
Gave me a skrik, it left me spasmatic,
On a machine, I think it was electrotherapeutic,
On to my time being sportingly pugilistic,
I may have been nervous, but I went ballistic…
I was too small. That was my sitch…
The first punch I took, I was kayoed out of it!
The reasons above for this ode reading are so threnodic!
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Yet again, it was a night of broken sleep. A little different, though, this time. The usual trend lately is for me to wake with a jump or jerk, as if someone had prodded me awake. Most of Saturday night’s last night’s disturbances were almost calm and serene. But there were far more of them this time. I was having the odd mini-seizure now and then, most times after waking. Working out the time was surprisingly difficult… did you ask
why? Then I’ll tell yers. I first went into the land of bliss as I was watching TV, and… unbeknownst to me, I moved into the hospital bed. When I decided to get up, I wondered what the heck was happening. (Thinking that I was in the recliner) I looked at the clock and saw the wall about 4 inches from my nose! Hehehe!
I tried to stand up to remove the nocturnal catheter pouch off. For a few moments, I was baffled by the situation. As I turned and hit my head on the anti-fall bar, I realised where I was and could not find the clock.
Extracting my flabby body from the bed went great! Because both Cartilage Chloe and Carole were painless. Arthur Itis’s stiffness was letting me know about it. Once I sat on the side of
the bed, I checked the clock; it was 05:10hrs. I got the bag off of the catheter. There was not much urine in it, and it was of a top-rating colour on the card.
I wanted a mug of tea, so I went into the kitchen, checked taps, etc. and took two photos of the morning view, and it was fogless for the first time in three days.
So, the pictures looked semi-decent compared to the foggy ones taken over the last few days. I decided the next job would be to get the 
done.
I utilised the Porcelain Throne first… well, I meant to. But Constipation Conrad prevented any motions from starting.
I realised I’d not got the tackle needed. So I fetched the bath towel and Kagoule, Kaftan, Thobe, Longshirt, or whatever you call it, from the hallway. Returned to the wet room, and showered, and shaved.
Apart from a little difficulty getting the fresh Protection Pants on, all went so well that I thought it might be a last treat from the almighty before the Grim Reaper arrives. Haha!Â
Also, it took only 1 hour 30 minutes from start to finish! ![]()
!
All fresh, clean, and in a good mood, given how well the ablutions had gone, I went to the kitchen to make the mug of Glengettie that I’d failed to make earlier. I got the kettle on again… The innards warned me to get back to the Porcelain Throne post haste! So, I did… I cannot believe how things changed so much. At the first sitting, nothing would move, and
as seen, I blamed Constipation Conrad.
But it was a
performance this time. I have never been so close to a voluntary evacuation before without it happening!
So I think I had a bit of luck there, really.
I got the tea made and reset the retro 1970s-style clock calendar. Then I got on the computer. Ten minutes later, I fumbledÂ
back as fast as possible to get to the Porcelain Throne again! Yet again, apart from Starmer, someone must have been watching over me. Because it was as close a job to things escaping as it was on the second visit! Phew! Can this good fortune last? Is it a trick by the devil to make me relax and get caught out on the next visit? I expect to have a few more yet. The innards started slowly churning again no sooner than when I sat back down on the computer. I’ll avoid starting to feel optimistic about the situation. My belief that things will finally turn around, only for another adverse event to happen, reinforces the idea that my bad luck is persistent. Well, it is! Tsk!
Carer Kimberly arrived; I’ve not started on any blog work yet. I forgot to ask her to put my diabetic socks on for me. What a turd I am! Sometimes, the Carers remember, but not today. Not that I blame them. Just wish I could remember to ask.
When Kimberly left, I thought about what to have for nosh tonight. I had a look at the food available in the kitchen, fridge, cupboards and freezer
I put some spuds into the slow cooker. Then, what did I do after seeing the morning view getting more blue? I took a photo; in fact, I took two. I’ll blow this
second one up.
Can you tell what the things in the sky are? None in the first shot, just the close-up one? Thanks!
Of course, it could be some gunk on the lens? I’ll see what the next one looks like.
I’ll have some Golonkowa later on the meal. I love pork knuckle. This Polish can of it usually have plenty of pork jelly included. Very nice! I’ve got the memory of the taste coming back now.
I was tempted to nibble at the LU Cookies, my new favourite biscuit nowadays. If I open the packet, I may be tempted to eat a few, spoiling the dinner later. So, I resisted the temptation. It’s easy when you are as determined as I am to do the right thing. Alright, I only ate
two of them!
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The blog work is getting slower and slower and becoming more mistake-ridden. I am determined to get it together and to concentrate. Then Carer Selina arrived. I’ve not seen her for weeks. She has been off for a while with a broken foot! I forgot to ask her to put the socks on again. We were having a little natter… I went into what (Selina thinks were two)
mid-conversation.This time, it seemed I just looked like I’d fallen asleep, but I was muttering. I can recall nothing of it while I was out of it. Then, according to Selina, I started carrying on from our conversation… after a few words, I drifted off again. I think it was good that someone had seen it as it happened. But she said it frit her a bit.
After she left,
blurred my vision, and I had to give up on the blog. I’m unsure if it was in the report, as I couldn’t read the writing. Not that anyone reads them.
I think I took this photo earlier in the day. But midst the seizures, I managed to miss it off then. I do that a lot, you know… miss things off.
These I took when I went to the fifth mug of tea of the day. I did manage to drink one of them… I think I did. I’m all over the place mentally now.
Ah, I just saw the circle I put on this one on the left. Same snap as the one on the right above. I’ve blown it up. I’m hoping that someone can determine what it is. Well, I know not what it is. Is it a bird? Is it an alien? Is it an Angel? Or is another freebie donation being delivered to Starmer as a backhander?
A Day of Mysteries, Today.
Ah, well, I’ll get summat to eat then.
Golonkowa, pickled beetroot & water chestnuts, cheesy no-butter, buttered bread rolls, and some tasteless potatoes that need the sauce to flavour them. The biggest disappointment? The crap, bland, going soft tomatoes!
But I ate it all… bar some of the spuds.
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Have a Fantastic Day!
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Yet another nodding off and waking up again every few minutes of the night.
On my way to the wet room, I went into the kitchen to check that the faucet doors and cooker had been left safely.
I got the bath towel from the airer, turned it off, ensured there was enough medical stuff to use, and started the proceedings.
hink I used a full roll of toilet paper and tissues to clean myself up after
Inchy’s pain. I was baffled! There were only a few specks of blood from the Fungal Lesion, far less than usual in the morning, yet while I was in the shower, no pain at all? I found out later that it came on mostly when I was seated throughout the day. I didn’t want to stop the showering; I enjoyed it so much. Little Inchy was not enjoying it. Because my taking off the bag cover pouch to have the shower meant, as I exited, the bag was swinging and pulling on Little Inchy. But I think I’d done well all the same in this session… Then, after drying myself off with the bath towel under the wall heater, I needed to get the medicationings done… Oh, dearie me!
For years, I’ve left medicating the most painful, the lesion, until last – today, I started with that task. A few Oohs and the drop Arghs were expounded,
with the odd Ouch thrown in. Perfectly normal!
Then, the not-cheap Blepha eye treatments were done. Thank heavens that the NHS has not stopped funding the cost of the
Phorpain Gel for the knees, Arthur Itis, and Duloxetine Cartilages Carole & Chloe, and for Colin Cramps.
Finally, the ablutions were completed. It was a long, long session. After belatedly changing the date and day, I took this picture of the antiquated 1970s clock.
Jiminnee Cricket, the fog was even thicker now. Took this snap.Â
Good Heavens, it worked! I hastily uploaded the photos to the gallery, but I fear I may have put them in the wrong order, so they may be from different times. Sorry.
The Iceland delivery arrived.
At long last, there is food in the fridge. I felt guilty when Carer Chloe found all the food out of date the other day. Was it yesterday? Who knows, not me. Hehehe!
The three bags of frozen food to the right in the photo on the left cost me just a pound! They were battered fishcakes, battered fish, and battered potatoes. Lovely!
The fridge looked a little fuller now, and while putting things away, I decided to have lamburgers in wholemeal bread rolls, maybe with some tomatoes and potatoes, as well. Or Marmite rice cakes—I might like that.
I managed to get these snaps in here in the morning. Just before CorelDraw crashed again! Fed up? YES!
I thought I’d remember from which of the different views I’d taken these from, but CorelDraw kept refusing to allow me to save the odd one and I go confused as to which
was which.
us. Hehe!
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I so hope they let us know if he’s re-homed!
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The ankle ulcer looked likely to erupt again. But blessedly, the Left and
I noticed that the finger’s mystery blue patches were back again. They don’t hurt, and it’s not often I can say that about my ailments, especially the catheter tube giving Little Inchy so much stick!
The cut lip from yesterday’s
I opened the window to take this shot but got wet in the rain.
Sorted the waste bins into one bag.
The end car park mudslide was building up.
It took him ages, as the bayonet in the socket had a bit of plastic broken off, making it difficult to fit it in, but he did it. The replacement bulb had a clear glass. Boy, it’s got a bright light; neither of us could believe it.
Carer Sam arrived. I was telling her about the problem and pain with the Catheter. (Which, incidentally, eased off a lot of hours later.) However, the
Still raining!
I think this was an unintentional snap that I took. I’m not sure what I Kodak-Tim’d.
Then the pain lessened, still there, but far less severe.
It’s still raining!
Took this shot later. Came out fairly well.
It reminded me of my cyber buddy, Tim Price in New Mexico. He’s a clever photographer and naturist, amongst other qualities. He lives near a bosque, and his photographs of the local Owls are just great. Here’s one in particular that I think should be in a nature or art gallery. 
This one is how it looks now! Wet!
I think the rain is easing off.
Ten minutes later – Yes, at last!

Well, that should have been easy enough.
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He then emptied his nocturnal catheter pouch. Not pleased with the amount of blood that seemed to be in his passed
urine. He… well, IÂ (Slipped into the second person mode there, sorry), I grabbed hold ofÂ
Ablutions and medicalisationing tasks were carried out.
Teeth and gums bleeding. All but went over getting the PPs on; I hate that balancing job. The urine flowing into the pouch looked a bit bloodied. And
some Phorpain gel on the shoulder where I could reach to rub it in. Oh, and I trapped my finger in the cupboard door. People won’t believe my good luck… or lack of it!
Carer Kara called next. She was in a rush, too. However, she did sort out the problem I had with the TV yesterday. Did it in two minutes. (I did feel a fool not being able to get it done myself)Â Bless her. She shot off, and I was lonely again, just like when Marie departed. Sad, innit? Hahaha!
I got a snack made up to satisfy my sudden hunger.Â
Washed the things, and spotted some unusual activity of Devon close. On, Cavendish Close.
A kitchen window photo to the right was taken first.
Then I took one of the lowering sun to the left of the window.
At this stage, the night Carer called. It was nibble-nibbling Carer Christopher.
.I almost got caught out when the catheter day pouch suddenly filled so quickly again – all okay though, nae bother. It was emptying slowly for some reason unknown to me.
When to get second and last brew of tea,
Gorgeous, even if not as good as they might have been.
Finally got the blog finished and posted off to WordPress.
The baby baguettes at the side of the tray of potato hot-pot, shows up just how measily the mini-sized Parsley Box meal was. 

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The nocturnal catheter pouch urine was darker today. This makes me worry about the District Nurses taking off the entire
Down it went! But I got it back within 15 minutes.
Sorted the waste bags out.
The first shot I took, had the flash on.
The 2nd at least you can see the houses.
The feet and toes looked surreal with their oh-so-white toe ends. Otherwise, they were looking good.
Where the morning sun is still behind Mapperley Hill.
Then straight ahead.
Wee-weeing well… but…
see how it comes out of the pouch?
Oh, I’ll do the waste first. Been tidying up… Oh, Yes!
Pleased with the shaving while standing in a bowl of water at the sink. No trips, slips or balance problems. 
Sky to the North.
Sky to the North, a little higher.
A later shot of the same area.
Even earlier and missed off, a shot of the car park end.
and clean & medicate my lower region.
I was flabbergasted to see that the bruise on the left thigh, that I got when taking the last tumble, and two days later had completely vanished – was back again? Impossible, surely? I haven’t taken any knocks or falls for days now.

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I found two different ones later. I think?
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The feet and ankles looked calmer this morning.
Early morning shot of the kitchen’s window blue-view
Porcelain Throne visited.

Carer Richard arrived. Alarm tested. Eye drops and meds were issued. The lad was at the end of his shift; he looked so tired out. I forgot to ask him about his Diabetes visit last week. If he calls tomorrow I’ll ask him.
Got the waste bags sorted out.
Kitchen shot, when looking for some Paracetamol in the medical drawer. There were none in there again. I’ve added the limit allowed, one packet to my Asda order and amended it online. Humph! That means I’ll run out again.
A phone call from the District Nurses HQ.
Afternoon view.
My ankles & feet, definitely improving!
The doctor’s surgery rang with the details.
Time to get something to eat methinks. So I did!
A cheese & onion pastie, covered with a jar of bean and soy stew. I added some Worcester Sauce and sea salt. Many slices of Milk Roll bread dipped in it while eating. Excellent flavouring! Taste-Rating 9.4/10 Grrreat!
Nocturnal puffer clouds around the sun as it dipped. beyond the horizon, so quickly it seemed to me. Lovely view!
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This is for January 2003
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The morning view… was rather blue
I’d decided, as the Urine colour was so high on the chart.
Made a brew of Glengettie.
Took these snaps of the strange lighting this morning.

What was the mouse? Has a map on it
Fantastic wider shot!
A close-up of the sun.
Seem’s the sun is spewing out a monster…
A Genie, mayhap? Hehehe!
An eagle above?
It seems that the dark clouds are trying to extinguish the sun?
Nice meal!
Made too much again. (I often do that?)
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A bright morning with snow.
Bright-looking urine in the bag is good!
Asda order arrived.
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Put the rest of the fodder away.
Fridge before and after delivery.
Took some more view photos of the light snowfall. See
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The footfall in the snowfall, in the bottom field.
Later, a man and his dog caught my attention.
The snow gave us another covering.
Then, I walked into the door frame on my way out..
I made the meal of the day…
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The accidentally ordered food arrived…

Fridge overloaded.
Battered Sticks on offer.
Hello, I’m wee-weeing well!
Took some night shots; I’d missed the sunset
Humph!
How could I do that and not realise it?
It was horrible!
The legs and ankles were looking much improved.



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Took the catheter bag of myself this morning – I had to cause the need of the Porcelain Throne was urgently needed, and with the other clarities etc., over the last two days with tripping and treading on the tubing, I thought it best.
However, Richard arrived then. He got the medications sorted and told me I had to take the new Antibiotic course again, starting now. So, I did.
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I sliced the overcooked potato and got it in the oven with the last of the potato rostis in the oven to crisp them up. The last of the tomatoes and the vegan frankfurters (which tasted great!) and along with the last of the pots of strawberry jam thingumajig dessert.
Not that they came out very well, although the bottom one of the car park was not too bad. A touch of eeriness about it? Obviously, the first one was taken like that on purpose. Ahem! 