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Inchies’ Ode to his legs and feet
Left leg thinner, right one bigger,
Right knee okay, left one even benter,
Both feet swollen, hurtful & bloated,
My limbs are going multicoloured,
The brain? Getting lackadaisicalalised,
My toes bent, swollen and warped,
She’s stopped calling me, my toenail cutter,
Can’t find another, but my savings wither,
No long calls this week from any Carer,
My need for the ATM is getting seriouser,
The world is on its way to being extirpated,
Who gets all he needs? Only an Oligarcher,
Life? Never balanced, levelled, or equated,
One gets depressed and so frustrated,
Never getting cared for or compensated,
Medical needs get hampered and hindered,
Robots, AIs, reality; humanity absconded,
Never have so many felt aporia…
Never so many are getting poorer,
The same can be said of dysphoria,
Such disrespect for the ass, the law,
The old, abandoned, get more austere,
Living with no hope, just fear!
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MOANING TIME
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The Carer phoned the EENT number for QMC Hospital, Nottingham. As they had asked me to schedule an appointment for the pre-op Cataract test. I had a seizure while having the first one and spent the night in Cardiac. They told him to ring back later or next week. After he’d gone, I gave it a go but checked the number again to ensure I’d got the right one. Google gave me the extension: 81111. So I rang the switchboard and pressed 81111 when instructed; it was engaged. I tried again later; it was engaged. One more try, and I got to a human for the first time. Who told me I’d rang the wrong number? Ring the switchboard and ask them for the extension. Which I’d done earlier. It got confusing then as she gave me the 81111 extension to ring. This is the ENT’s number, not the eye specialist’s.
This is a photo I took the last time I went there.
Clearly stating EYE, Ear, Nose and Throat Centre.
Can the NHS really be getting this bad? Yes!
Mind you, they were four months ago, after my seizure visit. While being uncertain if I had finished the examination, due to the seizure. I asked a Carer to ring them and ask whether I have to book again. Whichever lady answered him, he asked my query and told:
“They know what they are doing!” But I didn’t.
Four months later, I get the email to call them to book again. But still I can’t get through again!
ANOTHER FAILURE
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Then, in response to a Red Cross text, telling me this is a Health & Safety issue and that the electrician has to call to do Safety Checks (on the hospital bed they loaned me). The Carer rang them today. They had no information about this. She offered an appointment for 8th July, which clashed with my wait of 7 weeks to see the Doctor. Best ring back again next week? Despite the reference number being revealed.
ANOTHER FAILURE
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Then, while doing the Ode, the computer froze on me. The new week-old computer that I cannot urge the repairman who bought and fitted it, and took his money, to come back to look at it.
ANOTHER FAILURE
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No wonder I get Depressed.
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Got the Ode done, and food arrived. Followed an hour later by another food delivery from a different store.
ANOTHER FAILURE
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Better get a stand-up wash & shave.
ANOTHER FAILURE
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THURSDAY 2nd JULY
Another night of waking up with a jump.
Around 04:00hrs, I felt the need for the Porcelain Throne. I gingerly got out of the bed and hobbled nervously to the wet room. My balance was all over the place. As was expected with my swollen toes, feet and legs. I took two sticks with me and got there with plenty of time to spare. And stayed there on the Throne for a long time. Constipation Conrad was in full charge. Still, no mess to clean up. The piles bled a fair bit, and it was painful to urge the one torpedo-shaped mass, which hit the water with a clunk, leaving about 30% sticking out of the water. I was glad to get rid of that one. Got back into bed at 04:30hrs and nodded of easily again.
04:50hrs, I sprang awake in need of another evacuation. No doubt about it, this one was not going to come out in the same mode, because it was already coming of its own accord, into my Protection Pants!
I was concerned that I might not be able to stop the flow before getting there. But somehow I did, thankfully. Talk about opposites. This motion was all done and dusted in about 30 seconds. Took a while to clean myself up. I cannot get the PP’s on myself easily, and tore them a little, but got them on after washing things; me and the basin. Back into the bed, now with the back & shoulder hurting, from the battle to get the pants on. Settled again at around 0520hrs. I’d not even got back to sleep, and another flower-up was on its way! Fumbled as quickly as I could manage, making it with seconds to spare. Very splashy and runny. Again, it was all over very quickly. Heck of a mess to clean up again. I stayed in the wet room, thinking I’d have a shave, then be prepared for any action. But those plans were hijacked when I realised the hot water wasn’t even warm. So, I pressed the booster button on the meter and got back into the hospital bed yet again.
This time I nodded off easily… for about 15 minutes,
Then another torrent needed dealing with. I reckon this was a fourth in 2 hours. I was sure I’d not make it in time… And I didn’t.
Self-lambasting, swearing, and frustration flowed.
The actual evacuation took about ten seconds, virtually all water, more than any brown stuff. Sorting the mess out took me yonks. I tore off the PPs, but it was too painful to bend to get a new pair on. So I put on my thin dressing gown and returned to the bed about 0650hrs. I lay thinking what might have caused all these follow-up torrents, especially after the initial bum-bursting bomb. The only thing I could think of was that maybe my having the two pots of noodles yesterday, morning and evening, may have played a part? I actually fell asleep again.
I heard the doorbell’s 🎶Oh Suzanna🎶chime playing, but I must have heard it after it had been going for a while, cause it stopped as I tried to get out of the bed.
Carer Mizra came in; lovely to see him. He’s been doing early and late calls this week. Ejaz has only done one call this week. Damned good job, too. The other two bully boys are making my life a misery. If only they would send Ejaz & Mizra like they used to. The extended visits I’m paying for on Tue and Wed did not come. But the charges are the same. Another one on Saturday might come. Then I can get some money from the ATM to pay a toecutter and a window cleaner… if I’ve got enough left in my account, of course.
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ONWARDS In short…
Today’s Cartoon
The much got into & out of bed
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Today was a mix of good, bad and lousy
But I spent most of it trying to catch up on my Odes word list.
I got carried away with it. I don’t know why I’m bothering. I won’t live long enough to do all the lost work, thanks to the new computer not working properly. Yet another aspect of my luck and the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, and spirits. Receptive Aphasia Phyllis, Paroxysmal dyskinesia, Episodic ataxia, Ménière’s disease, Dark, Deep, Depressing Duncan, Peripheral Neuropathy Pete, Nicodemus Neurotransmitters Dying, Glaucoma Gladys, Stuttering Stephany, Lymphorrhea Leslie, Premorbid Cognitive Impairment, the damned seizures, or the Fata Morganas. The problems with British Gas & Virgin Media. The EENT, A&E, Neurology, Urology, Red Cross, the Catheter, Doctors, and a six-week wait for appointments. That have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited sanity of mind. My faith, health, and logicality were already on the wane.
Just thought I’d mention it. Hehehe!
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GREAT SURPRISE!
Matron Jackie came with a trainee Nurse to see me today. Someone who cares and listens. It gave me a lift.
Especially when the Navigator I phoned about my right leg told me I am not on record as having problems. Contact your Doctor. Which, I admit, got to me. After waiting 5 weeks for the earliest available appointment, the earliest available appointment is next week. Wednesday, 15th July, I have a longer list of problems than ever, and she will never have the time for me to read them to her. Originally, my swollen right leg and painful right shoulder were on the list. Now added are the Catheter farce, lack of advice, told to go to A&E straight away in a taxi, as it is a Medical Emergency when your Catheter blocks. So, first, there is a £30 cost of a taxi there and back. The one visit I made was caught in a traffic jam on the ring road, and it cost me £25.40. I struggled to find the £30 in the first place; now I didn’t have enough to get home. I worried before the 5-hour wait to see the Doctor.
Medical Emergency?
I explained all this to Matron. Who did something amazing – She listened to me! Bless Her!
She sorted out the Catheter, making sure the night bag fits this old Catheter.
Then suggested that I take a ‘Respite Visit’ to a home.
After mentioning all the things, appointments coming, and those not sorted, BG, EENT. I’ve emailed Jenny a copy of the PALS replies to my complaints. Bless her for her help & support.
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SMB-PALS
(NOTTINGHAM UNIVERSITY HOSPITALS NHS TRUST)
Good morning, We’ve raised your concerns with the senior management of the departments.
PALS have also requested that the relevant team contact the patient directly to discuss this further.
Please let us know if you do not hear from the team within 10 working days, and we can chase as necessary.
Kind regards,
Aparna
Aparna Sajeevan (she/her)
PALS Officer
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Looking good. They are contacting Senior Management at the Hospital Trusts, and if I don’t hear from them within two weeks, they will follow up again!
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Carer Mizra said he would try to give me a shower in the morning. Great lad Mizra, as is Ejaz, but they seem to be… no, have reduced their visits to me. This did not work out I’m afraid. I had another series of terrible Trotsky Teremce Torrents
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BONUS OLD CARTOON
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why? Then I’ll tell yers. I first went into the land of bliss as I was watching TV, and… unbeknownst to me, I moved into the hospital bed. When I decided to get up, I wondered what the heck was happening. (Thinking that I was in the recliner) I looked at the clock and saw the wall about 4 inches from my nose! Hehehe!
the bed, I checked the clock; it was 05:10hrs. I got the bag off of the catheter. There was not much urine in it, and it was of a top-rating colour on the card.
I wanted a mug of tea, so I went into the kitchen, checked taps, etc. and took two photos of the morning view, and it was fogless for the first time in three days.
So, the pictures looked semi-decent compared to the foggy ones taken over the last few days. I decided the next job would be to get the 
I realised I’d not got the tackle needed. So I fetched the bath towel and Kagoule, Kaftan, Thobe, Longshirt, or whatever you call it, from the hallway. Returned to the wet room, and showered, and shaved.
as seen, I blamed Constipation Conrad.
I got the tea made and reset the retro 1970s-style clock calendar. Then I
back as fast as possible to get to the Porcelain Throne again! Yet again, apart from Starmer, someone must have been watching over me. Because it was as close a job to things escaping as it was on the second visit! Phew!
When Kimberly left, I thought about what to have for nosh tonight. I had a look at the food available in the kitchen, fridge, cupboards and freezer
I put some spuds into the slow cooker. Then, what did I do after seeing the morning view getting more blue? I took a photo; in fact, I took two. I’ll blow this
second one up.
I’ll have some Golonkowa later on the meal. I love pork knuckle. This Polish can of it usually have plenty of pork jelly included. Very nice! I’ve got the memory of the taste coming back now.
I was tempted to nibble at the LU Cookies, my new favourite biscuit nowadays. If I open the packet, I may be tempted to eat a few, spoiling the dinner later. So, I resisted the temptation. It’s easy when you are as determined as I am to do the right thing. Alright, I only ate
I think I took this photo earlier in the day. But midst the seizures, I managed to miss it off then. I do that a lot, you know… miss things off.
These I took when I went to the fifth mug of tea of the day. I did manage to drink one of them… I think I did. I’m all over the place mentally now.
Ah, I just saw the circle I put on this one on the left. Same snap as the one on the right above. I’ve blown it up. I’m hoping that someone can determine what it is. Well, I know not what it is. Is it a bird? Is it an alien? Is it an Angel? Or is another freebie donation being delivered to Starmer as a backhander?
Golonkowa, pickled beetroot & water chestnuts, cheesy no-butter, buttered bread rolls, and some tasteless potatoes that need the sauce to flavour them. The biggest disappointment? The crap, bland, going soft tomatoes!
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Yet another nodding off and waking up again every few minutes of the night.
On my way to the wet room, I went into the kitchen to check that the faucet doors and cooker had been left safely.
I got the bath towel from the airer, turned it off, ensured there was enough medical stuff to use, and started the proceedings.
hink I used a full roll of toilet paper and tissues to clean myself up after
Inchy’s pain. I was baffled! There were only a few specks of blood from the Fungal Lesion, far less than usual in the morning, yet while I was in the shower, no pain at all? I found out later that it came on mostly when I was seated throughout the day. I didn’t want to stop the showering; I enjoyed it so much. Little Inchy was not enjoying it. Because my taking off the bag cover pouch to have the shower meant, as I exited, the bag was swinging and pulling on Little Inchy. But I think I’d done well all the same in this session… Then, after drying myself off with the bath towel under the wall heater, I needed to get the medicationings done… Oh, dearie me!
For years, I’ve left medicating the most painful, the lesion, until last – today, I started with that task. A few Oohs and the drop Arghs were expounded,
with the odd Ouch thrown in. Perfectly normal!
Then, the not-cheap Blepha eye treatments were done. Thank heavens that the NHS has not stopped funding the cost of the
Phorpain Gel for the knees, Arthur Itis, and Duloxetine Cartilages Carole & Chloe, and for Colin Cramps.
Finally, the ablutions were completed. It was a long, long session. After belatedly changing the date and day, I took this picture of the antiquated 1970s clock.
Jiminnee Cricket, the fog was even thicker now. Took this snap.
Good Heavens, it worked! I hastily uploaded the photos to the gallery, but I fear I may have put them in the wrong order, so they may be from different times. Sorry.
The Iceland delivery arrived.
At long last, there is food in the fridge. I felt guilty when Carer Chloe found all the food out of date the other day. Was it yesterday? Who knows, not me. Hehehe!
The three bags of frozen food to the right in the photo on the left cost me just a pound! They were battered fishcakes, battered fish, and battered potatoes. Lovely!
The fridge looked a little fuller now, and while putting things away, I decided to have lamburgers in wholemeal bread rolls, maybe with some tomatoes and potatoes, as well. Or Marmite rice cakes—I might like that.
I managed to get these snaps in here in the morning. Just before CorelDraw crashed again! Fed up? YES!
I thought I’d remember from which of the different views I’d taken these from, but CorelDraw kept refusing to allow me to save the odd one and I go confused as to which
was which.
us. Hehe!
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I so hope they let us know if he’s re-homed!
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The ankle ulcer looked likely to erupt again. But blessedly, the Left and
I noticed that the finger’s mystery blue patches were back again. They don’t hurt, and it’s not often I can say that about my ailments, especially the catheter tube giving Little Inchy so much stick!
The cut lip from yesterday’s
I opened the window to take this shot but got wet in the rain.
Sorted the waste bins into one bag.
The end car park mudslide was building up.
It took him ages, as the bayonet in the socket had a bit of plastic broken off, making it difficult to fit it in, but he did it. The replacement bulb had a clear glass. Boy, it’s got a bright light; neither of us could believe it.
Carer Sam arrived. I was telling her about the problem and pain with the Catheter. (Which, incidentally, eased off a lot of hours later.) However, the
Still raining!
I think this was an unintentional snap that I took. I’m not sure what I Kodak-Tim’d.
Then the pain lessened, still there, but far less severe.
It’s still raining!
Took this shot later. Came out fairly well.
It reminded me of my cyber buddy, Tim Price in New Mexico. He’s a clever photographer and naturist, amongst other qualities. He lives near a bosque, and his photographs of the local Owls are just great. Here’s one in particular that I think should be in a nature or art gallery. 
This one is how it looks now! Wet!
I think the rain is easing off.
Ten minutes later – Yes, at last!

Well, that should have been easy enough.
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He then emptied his nocturnal catheter pouch. Not pleased with the amount of blood that seemed to be in his passed
urine. He… well, I (Slipped into the second person mode there, sorry), I grabbed hold of
Ablutions and medicalisationing tasks were carried out.
Teeth and gums bleeding. All but went over getting the PPs on; I hate that balancing job. The urine flowing into the pouch looked a bit bloodied. And
some Phorpain gel on the shoulder where I could reach to rub it in. Oh, and I trapped my finger in the cupboard door. People won’t believe my good luck… or lack of it!
Carer Kara called next. She was in a rush, too. However, she did sort out the problem I had with the TV yesterday. Did it in two minutes. (I did feel a fool not being able to get it done myself) Bless her. She shot off, and I was lonely again, just like when Marie departed. Sad, innit? Hahaha!
I got a snack made up to satisfy my sudden hunger.
Washed the things, and spotted some unusual activity of Devon close. On, Cavendish Close.
A kitchen window photo to the right was taken first.
Then I took one of the lowering sun to the left of the window.
At this stage, the night Carer called. It was nibble-nibbling Carer Christopher.
.I almost got caught out when the catheter day pouch suddenly filled so quickly again – all okay though, nae bother. It was emptying slowly for some reason unknown to me.
When to get second and last brew of tea,
Gorgeous, even if not as good as they might have been.
Finally got the blog finished and posted off to WordPress.
The baby baguettes at the side of the tray of potato hot-pot, shows up just how measily the mini-sized Parsley Box meal was. 

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The nocturnal catheter pouch urine was darker today. This makes me worry about the District Nurses taking off the entire
Down it went! But I got it back within 15 minutes.
Sorted the waste bags out.
The first shot I took, had the flash on.
The 2nd at least you can see the houses.
The feet and toes looked surreal with their oh-so-white toe ends. Otherwise, they were looking good.
Where the morning sun is still behind Mapperley Hill.
Then straight ahead.
Wee-weeing well… but…
see how it comes out of the pouch?
Oh, I’ll do the waste first. Been tidying up… Oh, Yes!
Pleased with the shaving while standing in a bowl of water at the sink. No trips, slips or balance problems. 
Sky to the North.
Sky to the North, a little higher.
A later shot of the same area.
Even earlier and missed off, a shot of the car park end.
and clean & medicate my lower region.
I was flabbergasted to see that the bruise on the left thigh, that I got when taking the last tumble, and two days later had completely vanished – was back again? Impossible, surely? I haven’t taken any knocks or falls for days now.

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I found two different ones later. I think?
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The feet and ankles looked calmer this morning.
Early morning shot of the kitchen’s window blue-view
Porcelain Throne visited.

Carer Richard arrived. Alarm tested. Eye drops and meds were issued. The lad was at the end of his shift; he looked so tired out. I forgot to ask him about his Diabetes visit last week. If he calls tomorrow I’ll ask him.
Got the waste bags sorted out.
Kitchen shot, when looking for some Paracetamol in the medical drawer. There were none in there again. I’ve added the limit allowed, one packet to my Asda order and amended it online. Humph! That means I’ll run out again.
A phone call from the District Nurses HQ.
Afternoon view.
My ankles & feet, definitely improving!
The doctor’s surgery rang with the details.
Time to get something to eat methinks. So I did!
A cheese & onion pastie, covered with a jar of bean and soy stew. I added some Worcester Sauce and sea salt. Many slices of Milk Roll bread dipped in it while eating. Excellent flavouring! Taste-Rating 9.4/10 Grrreat!
Nocturnal puffer clouds around the sun as it dipped. beyond the horizon, so quickly it seemed to me. Lovely view!
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This is for January 2003
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The morning view… was rather blue
I’d decided, as the Urine colour was so high on the chart.
Made a brew of Glengettie.
Took these snaps of the strange lighting this morning.

What was the mouse? Has a map on it
Fantastic wider shot!
A close-up of the sun.
Seem’s the sun is spewing out a monster…
A Genie, mayhap? Hehehe!
An eagle above?
It seems that the dark clouds are trying to extinguish the sun?
Nice meal!
Made too much again. (I often do that?)
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A bright morning with snow.
Bright-looking urine in the bag is good!
Asda order arrived.
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Put the rest of the fodder away.
Fridge before and after delivery.
Took some more view photos of the light snowfall. See
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The footfall in the snowfall, in the bottom field.
Later, a man and his dog caught my attention.
The snow gave us another covering.
Then, I walked into the door frame on my way out..
I made the meal of the day…
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The accidentally ordered food arrived…

Fridge overloaded.
Battered Sticks on offer.
Hello, I’m wee-weeing well!
Took some night shots; I’d missed the sunset
Humph!
How could I do that and not realise it?
It was horrible!
The legs and ankles were looking much improved.