Increased Porcelain Throne Activities

INCHIE TODAY – Tuesday 10th January 2023

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Another ran out-of-time-day. Sorry if it is out chronologically,
mistakes-wise or if other errors appear. Mostly been created from photos and what few memory notes I scribbled – the brain seems to have gone on strike! It’s the in thing nowadays!

Took the catheter bag of myself this morning – I had to cause the need of the Porcelain Throne was urgently needed, and with the other clarities etc., over the last two days with tripping and treading on the tubing, I thought it best.
Over the first hour of actioning, my magnificent muscular, fit handsome body from the terrible night’s sleep, I had to use the Throne no less than four times! Every one of them was messy and gooey, with cleaning ups needed.
After the first session, I decided to get the ablutioning done.
Part way through, I was trying to stop the third shaving cut from bleeding at the time; I had to use the Throne again.
Suddenly flooded the mouth, I think I must have broken off a bit of tooth near the gum. I got up automatically to get some toilet paper to use to stem the flow… but the evacuation was still taking place.
acci-whoop I did genuinely feel . Nothing new there, then! It took me ages to clean up again, and I was beginning to get self-irritated!

Back to the front room, now attired in my day clothes but no socks, I’ll ask my mate Carer Richard to help with those. A bit nippy this morning.

After a while of computing, the catheter started itching. The catheter bag’s elastics had dropped down the leg.

However, Richard arrived then. He got the medications sorted and told me I had to take the new Antibiotic course again, starting now. So, I did.
He then told me, as I showed him the calendar… I’d put the Catheter removal on a wrong day, it was today, not tomorrow, so I changed it.

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I asked him if he’d help me get the specks on, please.
He said it would be best to ask the nurse/s when she/they take off
the catheter to put them on for you. To avoid any hassle while removing it? So I said I would. I’ll get something right today… surely I must?
Gave him some treats in thanks, and Richard checked the taps and stove.
Off he sent on his rounds. Bade him all the best and thanked him.

An hour or so later, when I was busily making cock-ups, and mistakes and forgetting what it was I was going to write after correcting the grammar I’d already written… I think? The was needed again.
But this time, unlike the eleven visits I’d made yesterday, had lost his grip on the process, and from nowhere, unexpectedly, my old friend had taken over command…


I was getting fed up with getting nowhere with the crosswords for ages. Counter the cracks on the ceiling… even had to give up on that. and are getting slowly worse. I picked my nose, whistled, and eventually, a mini-evacuation shot out of its own accord – the movement was over in seconds! annoying somehow.

Ah, a Highlight Event!
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The beautiful DVT-Warfarin Haematology nurse arrived as I was getting off of the . I thought at first it was the door chime ringing, and rushed to get the trews up, got out of the wet room door acci-whoop(And casually shoulder charged the door frame as I left the room), and realised it was the intercom going (It being lit-up helped me notice it, Hehe!)
Hristina asked me how the hospital visit went as she came in. Now that was lovely of her! ♥ And she listened when I told her, too! Wonderful!

Computing again. I decided this time, I would focus on a venom. I was tenacious in my determination to concentrate on what I was trying to do.
I think I went into a slight . It didn’t last long…

Mistakes, ha! Sometimes I see them as thumbing my nose at the puritans. That phrase I stole from a fellow WordPress blogger & poet named Paul. Thanks, mate! I’ve been waiting for a suitable time to use it. (And remember it!

Visits from, and a nasty, but very rare in a sat down position put an end to my planned venture into pretending I could be capable again.
Instead of acting like a wordsmith and getting on with the blogging, I had to go to the wet room to try and stop bleeding. Yes, the dance had tugged at the Catheter tube in Little Inchie… bloody? Bloody sore at this moment still! Even delicate might be the word. Tsk!

But it turned out lucky that I did go to the wet room.
The catheter pouch was on the point of bursting, I think. Again, I had a job to pull up the trouser leg, so dropped them instead and emptied the bag

I decided to get the potato out of the crock-pot. checked that it was cooked before she checked the taps and turned off the heater for me.

I sliced the overcooked potato and got it in the oven with the last of the potato rostis in the oven to crisp them up. The last of the tomatoes and the vegan frankfurters (which tasted great!) and along with the last of the pots of strawberry jam thingumajig dessert.

Later, not sure what happened between this and the last thing, a touch of Blanks, methinks.
I do recall taking these pictures, though. I’m pretty sure I took them in SCN Handheld Nightshot Mode.

Not that they came out very well, although the bottom one of the car park was not too bad. A touch of eeriness about it? Obviously, the first one was taken like that on purpose. Ahem!

Carer Richard Arrived for the late-night call, and I was watching TV.
We had a little natter, and Richard changed the catheter night bag.
We had a minute or two of pleasant nattering away, but the lad was ready for his bed, bless his cotton socks. I went with him, catheter bag in hand, to the door and locked it when Rich had left. They don’t like me doing this, but I can’t get the picture of the yobboes who came into the flat one night. If the key-safe would work for use, it would not be a problem.

Then I got on the computer again, re-determined to get it done.

MYSTERY PHOTO

Not sure how I managed to take this photo. It must have been as I was on the computer, and the TV was still on. Trigger-Finger Problems? Hehe!

Rotten night again. Forever waking up with a jolt!
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INCHIE TODAY – Monday 9th January 2023

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Top of the Morning, to yers!

After another night of ever waking up with a jump, never failing to take a moment to work out where I was, I stirred gently back into mock life and realised that the first thing needed was a visit to the . I gleaned this fact from the bubbling innards and warmth of the stomach and rear-end area.
Got to the wet room, yet again, just in time. But that’s a lot better than being too late with all the consequences entailed with that! Hehe!
I cleaned up the pebble-dashed Porcelain and myself and started the complicated job of getting my trousers up past the attached catheter and tubing.
I had not got them up, and a second wave of gooey, sloppy evacuated product arrived. More cleaning up was required; I was getting tired out already. Hahaha!

I got the belated tackled and was well-pleased to see that today was the third in a row of my being in the High-Normal amber zone!


Now, if we can get the Warfarin /DVT INR level up a smidgeon, I can then go into s Super-Smug-Mode. I think that Fridays glitch of shooting up to Hyper-Two, was due to my visiting the Doctor and then the City Hospital Urology appointments?

Time for the first brew of the day. No easing into it with a Punjana… I was feeling pretty good, so delved into a full-on-flavoured mug of the, originally mixed for the Welsh Miners in 1905 by the Thompson family, Glengettie. Great tasting!

I ventured out of the kitchenette window… not too far, cause it was raining a bit. And tool these two pictures of the high in the sky, late morning moon! I was most disappointed with the outcome of them, though.

Determined to make a better effort, I took a shot of the distant horizon.
As you can see, I made a mess of that one too. I must stop wasting valuable time trying to get decent night shots. I’m just not up to it, you know. I took the Night Catheter off.
As I poured the water into the mug, a fourth Porcelain Throne Alert came through. In fact, more than that nearly came through. I took the Night Catheter off.
  So, with the tea left to get cold, I scurried to the wet room…
Despite my best efforts, I could not get the pants down in time. And took total control of the proceedings! All I could do, well apart from swearing and cursing, was to get on with the now familiar job of cleaning things up, putting the pants in a bucket of Dettol, changing the Depends, and getting another pair of trews, giving myself a as I did.

Carer Richard Arrived as I was emptying the day catheter pouch. He was not in a good mood. No one had informed him of the catheter and tablet changes that had (apparently)  been made; they hadn’t told me either… at least, I don’t think they did.

I was working away on the blog, and it only being fifteen minutes since I emptied the bag; I didn’t check it for another half-hour or so.
I was well getting into the graphic making for the news snippets. Eventually, I thought, I’ll check the leg bag…
acci-whoop I had a heck of a job getting the trouser legs up above the mega-full, about-to-burst-looking pouch!.
I got caught out there! Emptied it, and washed, disinfected the bucket, and arrived.
She got the Peptac served up, and I washed the serving pot while she rang the Doctors to try and find out when the catheter is coming out, and if should I take the new course of antibiotics or not. But there was no answer. Sam said she was trying again later and would let me know the result.

I got a landline call from the beautiful DVT-Warfarin nurse, Hristina. She’s coming to see me on Wednesday to take a blood sample to test the INR level.
Of course, in my minds-eye, she’s coming to see me for ulterior romantic reasons. I can dream, can’t I? Hehehe!

I went to make another brew of tea, Thompson Punjana, this time.

Took this photo through the glass of the window in the kitchenette of the gloomy morning view.
It’s still drizzling out there.

Aha, another call coming in. I am popular today.
A Call from the Falls Team Leader.
She’ll be coming to see me on Friday around noon time or thereabouts, she said.

Five minutes later, another call came in.
This was from an Amazon driver, telling me that the Dettol order was coming today.
This, after yesterday’s email telling me that it had been delayed and the new ETA is Saturday 14th? Ten minutes later, it arrived!

The lift maintenance men are making all the same noises as last week, but not so loud. I think they have gotten lower down, thus further away.

On with the Goggle… no, Google search.
Got a couple, got the Rostis in the oven, and tweaked the graphics in CorelDraw.

Nosh, time now!
Ersatz bacon, tomatoes, Potato Rostis, BBQ sauce, oven-baked wholemeal bread, and a strawberry jam thingamajig dessert.
Overall Taste-Rating of 7.6/10.
I broke another bit off of a tooth again!

Settled to watch the TV, Heartbeat, a football match, then New Tricks. That was the plan, anyway.
I’d got a bottle of spring water, a bag of cheesy curls on the ottoman, and Heartbeat started. I stayed with it until the first set of advertisements came on.
Then drifted off to sleep...
Two hours later, chimed out, rudely awakening me from my precious sleep, and in came Carer Richard. Who got the medications given and checked the lights, taps and oven for safety. Then put the night pouch on the catheter.
We had a mini-chinwag session, and off he went, taking the waste bags with him for me on the way out.

I swiftly nodded off again… but it turned out to be yet another night of jumping awakes, drifting off again easily enough, only for repeated jerking awakes again. “I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?”

INCHIE TODAY – Sunday 8th January 2023

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Good Morning, Mon Amis. I’ve only just gotten around to doing the actual blog now. And it’s 15:30hrs already. Nowadays, everything is just taking too long to get done. The Mystery Lurgy chest and rib pains, Cataract Katey, Dementia Doreen, the lack of mobility with the Catheter needing emptying so often, changing from night to day bags… Concentration Conrad has gone to pot.
Ablutions take me two hours on average. Honestly!
Just getting dressed is a work of art and a strain and pain.
Will I ever see properly again? So I can do the Diary blog properly?
Will the Catheters be a permanent time-consuming feature on my manly, lean, mean, tough, muscular, hard masculine body?
So, I’ll put the photos on and anything of an exciting nature that may have occurred during the day. Not too much chance of that, though. Hehe!

I stirred into a pretend life, and as I moved the right leg, I forgot about the night catheter being attached and trod on the extended tubing while I supposedly caught my balance.
Realising my cock-up, I lifted the left foot from the tube… before I’d mastered the balance.
❶ I tumbled back onto the £300, bought eight years ago from the second-hand shop, Harold Haemorrhoid testing, repugnantly beige-coloured, crumb containing, virus-breeding, acne-giving, rickety, none-working recliner. Landing on the arm and causing the delicate rear end to suffer a considerable clout!
❷ At that exact moment, I must have caught the piping on my way down; the night bag began to leak! (These tumbles seem to be almost quotidian this week)
❸ As I was picking up the bowl and night bag, the need for the was sudden and urgent!
❹ I hastened ASAP to the wet room. But: unfortunately, ❺ and horrifically, I did not get there in time!
❻ Messy job again, I got myself and the wet room furniture cleaned up…
❼ And trod on the darned night bag; It burst open! More cleaning up. ❽ The bending down so often to clean things up yet again; started the Mystery Rib Cage Pains off! I detached the night bag and made sure I’d got the day bag valve closed.

I decided as I was in there, to get the done. Stripped off, which sounds and indeed used t lobe a simple job… until the Mystery Pains, Catheter and taking tumbles started this morning. Which went pleasantly well, actually. Considering the half-hour or so of constant cock-ups I’d just suffered.
Not a single cut shaving! The teeth bled a bit, although I tried to clean them gently. The eye-drop application went, as usual, more in the moustache than in the eye.
Getting clothes off to use the Throne was naturally done in haste, given the urgency of the need.
But getting the day clothes on was laboriously slow and hard work. The straps on the different type of catheter bag had twisted and given me some new welts on my leg. Germolene applied. The new weekly day bag was already twisted, and it took me a while to get that sort of straightened top and bottom… ♫ Come on, let’s Twist again… ♫ Hahaha!
had been bleeding again.

After what seemed like hours… Oh, it was! Getting the bag, Porcelain Throning, ablutioning and getting dressed, I returned to the front room.
Had left it a mess last night. Hadn’t taken the waste bags with him or cleaned the medicine pot.
Also, he’s emptied the wee-wee bucket and not flushed the toilet. Amidst all the panic stations earlier, the stink was awful!

I got the Health Checks done. I was pleased to see I was in the High-Norm area again. Hoping for a hat trick in there tomorrow.

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Enjoyed taking these shots of the late, partially clouded-over moon.
Shame they were not so good, but still.

I took these a few hours later on. The seagulls were food hunting again.
If they stay much longer (the gulls), there will be no wildlife left!

The rib pains kicked off again, and my concentration crumbled.
Nothing was sticking in the brain. Memories were escaping.
And I was in the right state. Apart from Carer Ty coming, who the others were is unknown. I do recall asking Ty to make sure he flushed the WC after emptying the pouch or bucket and not to put anything else down the WC.

I kept finding things on this blog that I could not remember putting on it. I was particularly proud of ablutioning paragraphs. Did I do them? These Mind-Blanks do worry me sometimes. But not today. They were accepted as part & parcel of living with Dementia Doreen! That I find weird, too.

I’m sure I took a lot more photographs today.
But these below are the last three on the card at this time?

Apparently, taken as the night wore on?

Better get something to eat.
Very nice too!

Carer RichardArrived to get cataracts… no, not them; the night catheter attached to the day one. Nice to see him again, but he was a smidgen annoyed at the doctor amid hospital crossed lines and different instructions on my taking the antibiotics. Like me, Richard is not getting updated on medical things. He said someone was going to come in a few days to take the catheter out. I’ve heard nothing about this from anyone, either. No one called me to advise me at all?

Getting to sleep was difficult yet again, and staying asleep, was impossible to do. The springing awake with a jerk went on all night. Humph!

TTFN

Inchie Today: Friday 6th January 2023

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A Short On Detail one – sorry

Oh, Worra shame – nearly got three High Norms on the trot!

Not-so-good photos

Old gay… I man day, catheter.

The challenge of the ablutioning and dressing.
But all went well.
No idea why I took this shot?

Bleeding and weeing. Hehehe!

A late showing moon?

Easy Link Transport to the Doctors.
The doctor doubts that the rib pains are connected
to the urine infection but offered no diagnosis.
Sent a prescription to the chemist for more antibiotics.
Easy-Lift ran me to the chemist to collect.
Then back to the flats.
Then lifted me to the hospital.
I was very far too early, but I was prepared with the
crossword book, pen and reading glasses.
Signed in at reception, and a full hour and a half
before the appointment, I was taken through to
the procedure room. The nice nurse sat me
down and told me someone would fetch me later…
20 seconds later, I was collected and taken into the
action room with the laser, camera probes &
colour monitor…
acci-whoopAlthough, in some ways, I enjoyed this
I was just dropping my trews to take down the PPs, and just
as I lost balance, the leg dance had me over, tumbling to the floor!
And three delicate-looking beautiful nurses and a doctor ran to my aid.
I think I enjoyed that bit, not the tumbling mind.
They soon had me on my back, strapped the shaking PN’s right side,
and began the procedure. I managed to get a few peeps of
my innards on the monitor.
I also enjoyed having the blood wiped away afterwards.
Free of Cancer was declared!
Cause of the tumble, they put me in a chat and wheeled me on the way back to the reception area and kindly ask how I was to get home. Thinking I was shaken up and not fit to go on the bus, told me a receptionist would phone a taxi for me.
When the gawk came to me, I asked if she could call Easy link to see if they had anyone free, if not, I’d get the bus. But Easy-Link came and took me back to the flat. in no time at all!
I was over the moon with the results, and for the first time in many a day, felt really close to being content... But I knew deep inside this could not last long. It’s so out of the ordinary, strange, indeed weird for me to feel this way..
Back to the flat, and emptied the new catheter; while wondering how much I’d been charged on my account for the three Easy-Link trips today… but they were invaluable to me.
The workers had placed matting on the lobby floor.
Up in the lift, took a selfie in the reflection on the wall.
A letter was received as  I got inside. Too small to see.
Changed the new Catheter… looks a bit bubbly to me?
Had a wash and removed the hospital tab. Last time at the City Hospital Urology. I was given a blue one, and today upgraded to red? Hehehe!
I made a lovely meal for myself. However the of Woodthorpe Court, with the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions, and other grotesqueries that haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchcock; to curse with bad luck, create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare. worry and confuse me, were at it again!
The picture I took of the rather good-looking and tasty meal was not on the SD card… Yet again!
Got around to updating this blog, but it would not let me load any pictures? Got various messages that only confused me more.
Gave up after an hour of trying my best but failing to get it to work. (WordPress)

CarerJozeth arrived in a rush. Medications sorted.

Carer Kara arrived. Told her of my problem with WordPress, and while she was looking, it started to work again; were photos going on??? She got the medications sorted, fitted the night catheter, and asked about how the procedure went. ♥

Had a go on this blog, and around eleven PM, had to go for my fifth Porcelain Throne Visit since getting home.
AN INCHIE RECORD OR TWO BROKEN DURING THIS ENDLESS SERIES OF VISITS!

I KID YOU NOT!

❶ 23:45hrs: Struggled with the night bag to the . Sticky, gooey, smelly, not much of it.
❷ 23:54: ❸ 23:59: A second wave arrived while wiping my bum! Sticky, gooey, smelly, not much of it.
❹ 00:06: Sticky, gooey, smelly, now watery, not much of it… ❺ Only striated to bum wipe, and a dirty great dollop of almost liquid shot out! A Hat Trick on this visit! ❻ Sticky, gooey, smelly, and much more of it this time!
❼ 00:19hrs: I was soon back in the wet room, Night Catheter in hand, and getting worried now – Will it ever stop? Of course, the answer was not yet.
❽ 00:22hrs: I tried to get down to kip. But inevitably, another controlled mixture of goo and liquid literally burst out of the rear end, spraying and pebble-dashing the chinaware, my bum and the toilet! It arrived before I could get seated!
Cleaning up with one hand while trying not to step on the night bag tubing or drop and burst the bag, using a picker-upper with disinfected kitchen roll paper, and not falling over to clean up – I proved was impossible!
Clouted the forehead on the floor cabinet, pulled the new Catheter grips loose, and the night bag valve started leaking.

Naturally, there was no self-pity or feeling sorry for myself, cursing or swearing from me… Oh, no. –

Sweet Morpheus Arrived!

Inchcock: Monday 31st October 2022

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Last night, well, this morning, at about 00:30hrs, I burst awake in needing a wee-wee. Wretchedly, I suffered one of my longest-ever Post-Micturitional (PMD) dribbles; It came and looked like stopping more times than I have fingers on my hands, but it didn’t! When it eventually stopped, I was wide awake. You tend to wake up after ten minutes of cursing and talking to Little Inchie under your breath! I think I passed more urine in the oh, so slow after-dribble than I did in the main event.
I took the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) and emptied it in the WC, washed the container, disinfected it well and sprayed some Dettol in it – then returned it to its usual standing place, which has no obstructions or anything to fall over getting to it in an emergency or hurry.

Off to the kitchenette, pleased to note that the taps were both off, not left running, no parts of the stove were turned on, the slow cooker was also turned of, and the fridge and freezer doors were shut. . Aha, a decent start to the day, then!
I thought I’d celebrate by making a mug of Thompson’s Signature Blend tea for myself.
I soon got distracted by the pretty lights on view through the kitchen window, though.
I knocked the kitchen roll holder off of the ledge, opening the window to take a look. As I got down to retrieve the loose mass of paper towels and the broken-in-two wooden roll holder, I had a rare (recently, anyway), attack from . He’s not visited me for weeks now… but he’s back! I stuck the spindle into the base of the holder and hoped for the best. Shaun only persisted for a couple of minutes, but had anyone seen him, they would be a bit weary of me; he could shake me a bit viciously at times.

I took four shots of the beautiful night scenery. The second one came out a bit blurry, but I took it again, and it came out just fine. once again!

As if was in need of support in giving me hassle when I was closing the windows, joined in the ‘Give-it-to-Inchie onslaught!’ She stayed for ages! I took a guzzle of the Pentac medicine to calm her down. It didn’t!

I took the tea to the computer and started her up… Of course, it wasn’t a surprise to see the Liberty-Global, Virgin Media, go down before my very eyes. If you are an unlucky customer with them, you tend to expect it to be down than be available. Humph!

With number-cruncher, flimflam, hokum, smoke & mirrors man, Mike Fries in charge, what else can you expect? On his pathetic, paltry $23.6 million pay packet per year. Spit!
But this man’s inability to run an internet service that works does not bother me at all, really. It’s just jealousy! 

Rang came in and presented me with a whiteboard with a pen and eraser attached. How kind of him!
We got the medications sorted out, and Richard checked the medicine drawer. He’s got an extra call today to do yet, so couldn’t stay too long. But we had a natter and laugh, I gave him his bagged-up Monday treats, and off he went, taking the three waste bags with him as he departed. Thanks, Richard!

Into the kitchen, I wobbled.

Got the vinegar and salt mixes made up and re-bottled.

Then it came to me… Things do that occasionally, you know… not very often, I admit! But with making an error on the Cataracts day on Saturday, I’d moved the Asda order to Thursday, so it didn’t clash – which it doesn’t now; I decided to get a Morrison order in with Amazon for later today, so as long as they have them in stock, I can get some bread, washing-up liquid, flowers for the Wardens treats, tonic water, tomatoes and Thompson’s Signature tea bags in. Oh, and some potatoes.

Aha! Liberty-Global Virgin Internet was back working! Not a lot of people can say that! Hehehe!
Finally, I got on with updating the Sunday blog.
Posted it off and did some Pinteresting of the photos. Then started this template creationing.
Into the afternoon now, and I’m miles behind. No one from Meridian Health & Care has gotten in touch with me as I asked them to. Still, they may come later.
I gave Deana a ring and got her this time. She will kindly call later. I’ve got to ring her when and if the flowers arrive, and she’ll take a look at the Cataract’s letter for me. She will ring Easy-Link to see if they will make a card account for me. Nice!

Photograph loading and I found this picture on the SD card.
Apparently, another Shaking Shaun or Peripheral Pete prompted an accidental shot to be taken.
I know where I took it, but why is a mystery.
Methinks another accidental one?

I went into the kitchen, and because I could not remember why I had made the trip into the kitchenette, I took this photo of the now brighter day from the window.

The intercom buzzed before I could remember why I was standing there, and it was the Amazon delivery of Morrison’s food arriving.

A nice young man who was patient with me. He made two trips up the lift for me so as not to squash the food. I think the Asda deliverymen feel obligated to split-open packets, and dented cans and ensure that the bleach is leaking!

There were just two items unavailable They only had one pack of curried chips, and I’d forgotten what the other thing was, but I know that I wasn’t bothered about it. Very pleased that they had the baking potatoes in stock. They looked okay, not battered and bruised. I could have said Not like Asda. Hehe!

The tomatoes were from the Netherlands. Not like the near-poisonous Spanish Asda ones.

ILC (Independent Living Coordinator), Oberstgrüppenfuhreress, Warden and Primo Ballerina, Warden Deana, arrived to help me with the mammoth, many double-sided sheets of Cataract details and instructions.

The gal was getting phone calls all the time. But she coped magnificently well with it all.
And still sorted me out with the things that I needed to take with me. Told me to ask Meridian’s bossess, Tina, if she could supply a list of medications I’m currently taking. I’ve to take it with me to the QMC.
It seems that this visit is for two more assessments and not for the operation. That’s five assessments I’ve already had, and it will be six on the 9th of November… No seven!

She really is a treasure, our Deana. I don’t know how she copes with all the problems from the clients, lifts breaking down, taps and leaks, yobboes breaking into the place, repairs etc. And now she has another Vascular Dementia sufferer that needs more help than ever. ♥

❶ Deana made a list of things I need to take with me to the hospital.
❷ She rang the QMC, and Deana arranged an NHS lift for the 9th of November.
❸ Arranged an Easy-Link lift for 10:00hrs in the morning, 1st of November, at 10:00hrs
❹ She’s awaiting an answer from Easy-Link to see if I can open an account with them.
All without breaking into a sweat – Worra Gal! ♥

Gave her the Warden’s flowers; I get some whenever I can early each week as a special thank you. Then five minutes after she had left, my Nokia 9 Pureview Mobile, with its Android (Pie) updateability, Corning Gorilla Glass 5, Octa-Core Gold CPU, 4K@30fps, 1080p@30fps, HDR video, USB Type-C 3.1, %x12 MP. 28mm Camera, Bluetooth, A-GPS, Fingerprint (under display, optical), accelerometer, gyro, proximity, compass, barometer, Li-Po 3320 mAh, non-removable, fast charging 18W, Quick Charge 3.0, USB Power Delivery. Fast wireless charging 10W – with Qi Battery… rang. here?

❺ It was Deana, to tell me that Easy-Lift had given me an account. FANTASTIC! No more searching around and struggling to find the cash to pay them!
❻ Deana has saved the day for me again! I am currently now feeling more content than I have been for months! (The last time that Deana rescued a bad situation for me!) ♥.

In celebration, I put the oven on to make some chips and sausages to have with some of the Sourdough bread and BBQ sauce later on! I’ll watch Heartbeat and eat them… Oh, the chips were the other thing not available at Morrisons. They sent battered onion rings. They’ll do me. Anne Gyna seems to be settling; I took an extra Omeprazole while Deana was here.

Back in the morning or later tonight, we’ll see to update things.
It’s morning. Update:

A right mixed bag of a meal tonight. Bad, worse and horrible contents of the plate! The beer-battered onions substitute sent for curried chips were Horrid! Greasy as heck, with rock-hard batter and runny onions inside. I did eat a few of them, proving my sadistic side! Haha! Is that the right word? Imitation sausage burgers, tasteless, dry and pointless! The tomatoes were nice, though. The sourdough bread was tasty enough, dipped in the unpleasantly, too strongly flavoured HP BBQ sauce. The lemon yoghourt was weak and watery. So, thank heavens for the tomatoes and bread. Overall Flavour-Rating: A too generous 4/10. Been belching all night after this meal!

Came in, stirring me back into a life of sorts. When I mentioned that Meridian bossess Tina had not called, Sam said, Yes, she’s been busy. She’ll call tomorrow if she gets time. I explained that I had to go to Doctor for the Frailty Test Review results on Tuesday. Sam said she could come in the afternoon, maybe? I said I had no idea how long the appointment would take, and it might involve another department being sent to. Sam said she’d ask Tina to call on Wednesday.
It’s all complicated getting senile and old. Don’t let anyone tell you differently!
Sam got the medications sorted, and we chatted. The canned treats for nurses and Carers are getting so low in choice now. I’ll see if I can get some G&T cans in tomorrow while out and about.
Carer Sam departed; I forget what we were talking about as she took the waste bag, but have an uneasy feeling it might have been something I ought to have written down on the Carer Richard-donated whiteboard? Humph!

Once again was in a stubborn mood. Each time I dropped off, I’d shoot awake after a few minutes, with my mouth full of the adipose flavour of the battered onion rings. I assumed I’d continued burping and belching in my sleep. The last time I remember shooting awake, I had to use the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket); it was 03:30hrs. The next waking and the rising were at 0535hrs, so I did get some sleep in. !

Mayhap this was my best day in ages, with help and verbiage…
Even with the Liberty-Global Virgin Media stoppage!
And Doreen Dementia’s thoughts pilferage!
Taking an extra Omeprazole dosage,
Contentment was on turbocharge!
Today held far less umbrage,
I even had some persiflage!
Oh, and a lousy sausage!
Hahaha!

Monday 3rd October 2022

/ Inchie / 19 Comments

POLITICAL CARTOON

Mikhail Gorbachev died at the age of 91

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04:45hrs: I returned to the land of the limitation living. At the same instant, I required the attention of the . So did the balance exercises (that sounds so good, dunnit? Ha-Ha! They take about 30 seconds. Caught my balance, put the slippers on, grabbed Metal-Mickey, and started to go to the wet room? Blimey, the toes were tender this morning!

The evacuation was as soft as grease. No bleeding, and Harold’s Haemorrhoids were not stinging too much. I decided, as I often do on a morning when the Throne is needed so early, to get the ablutions done.
And the went exceptionally well, so much so that a . One cut shaving… did you read that? Grrreat!
Only the situation was of any real hurt. Mind you, I do have two of them, Humph! The fear is that will join in later on. She’s been a right nuisance these last three days.

I got Carer Richards bit on the server top; I just got the stuff from the fridge added to them later. Made a brew of Thompson’s Punjana tea and got the computer on. I was updating the Sunday blog but got another summoning to the Off to the wet room, carefully. I must avoid any stubbed toes now the ingrowing nails have started. What a difference this session! It was only 45 minutes ago when I last sat on the Throne. But this time, the evacuation was reluctant. And it needed much forceful input on my behalf to get it started. Once the bomb started escaping, it gathered great speed, hitting the water, splashing some water up my bum! As I stood to inspect the results, Hehehe! The main thing on my concentration was the pain from the toes – which soon changed. Temporary Boy had it bled! I was concerned about where the blood came from. An inspection, a blind one of course, of the rear end using the kitchen towels, and it soon became apparent that it was , but not the usual deep red, so I assumed it was the internal ones that copped for the tearing treatment? Certainly set off the stinging again.
Washing myself afterwards and , the absence for the best part of a day, kicked off. That was when I realised that Harold’s externals were torn as well… Either that or I cut them when I started performing, Which raised an interesting question; Why can’t I wipe my bottom with the left hand? I’m a lefty at writing? Just a thought, like. Finished up and went back to the computer.

The snotty neighbour from above started his banging, and I replied each time with a bang back on the top of the high bookcase. Childish, I know.

Oh, I forgot to put the photos of the early morning view on the blog. So, here they are.

How does the saying go? Red sky in the morning, Shepherds Warning – Red Sky at night, Shepherds Delight.

Arrived, and he was making out things were not too bad when I inquired if his status. But the lad was coughing, sneezing and yawning an awful lot this morning. He’s got an extra call to make.
Hehe!. I told of Fridays happening in the wind and rain, the Vampire foot girl cutting two of my ingrowing nailed toes, etc. But I gave him the short version, or I might have lost him as he fell asleep.

He left his treats until the next day. Took the three bags of waste to the chute and then returned to say a fond farewell to me. Bless him; he looked all done in.

I got the started.
The figures returned were similar to yesterday.
The body temperature was climbing again.
SYS 168, DIA 77. Pulse was still pretty high at 89.

I made an addition to the Blood Pressure Chart. I put a caricature of me using with a paintbrush on it.
Just for fun!
Another day all in the Red Zone.
This time back up to Hypertension Red – 2.
It’s not looking good.
When I went to the doctor in error last week, I mentioned this High Blood Pressure to Doctor Vindla.
She didn’t answer, speak or acknowledge that I was there.
At least she’s consistent nowadays. Tsk!
I was going to mention Doreen Dementias’ part in my life.
But what was the point?
Then I finally got the blog sent off to WordPress. Made a start proper on this blog and; started on me again. Just as I feared she may. With Anne Gyna, and then when I stand or move bothersome ingrowing toenails, I don’t think I could handle anymore at the same time.
This is bad.

At about 15:00hrs, an alarm went off, but only for a few seconds. It sounded to my ears as if it was in this room. But if it was the fire alarm for the flat, I’d have heard that, alright.

  And her stabbing pains are getting more severe all the time. I’ll see how it goes but I may dial 111 if she doesn’t ease up soon. I took a Codeine; that might help… or burst the duodenal ulcer. Fed up? Me? Hehehe.

Oh, Testicles! I took some formatted frame text from CorelDraw to the blog – and lost everything when CorelDraw crashed.
My language was sickening; I was so angry with myself!!! Grumbling, sulking, cursing… Grrr!
It took me over an hour to get it back on track. Then another two hours to get the photographs I prepped for the blog back on from the SD again. Then I start to doctoring them again. and !

What felt like a week later, I got caught up. As if to spoil my pleasure, started again, but at least she gave me a small break… or the CorelDraw disaster may have taken my mind off of her? Then:

So, I’m going to get something to eat, the evening carer will be here in a while. I got some chestnut mushroom on the boil. Added liquid smoke and salt and simmered them for ages. Then got the sausages in the oven.

Lastly, as the other stuff I hoped would be about ready, I heated some Ben’s Korean Style BBQ flavoured rice in the microwave.
This is the first (And Last!) time I’d this flavour. I got the bowl filled with what I thought looked like an appetising meal.
But, Oh, No!
Every single part of the meal tasted so strange, and a flavour rating of 1.5/10 was given after trying to eat it.
The Korean Rice was far too strong for my palette. The mushrooms tasted, I imagine, like leather! The sausages, well, they tasted nothing like the ones out of the same bag that I ate last week? Horrible is the word.
I couldn’t even eat the lemon cheesecake, one spoonful, and I felt sick! I must ask Richard to check the dates in the fridge for me, but he’s so busy.

I dished the more significant part of the meal into a food bag, a freezer bag, and a waste bag. While sealing it all up, I had a mammoth, chest-wrenching sneeze! And since then, has been in attendance! Still with me in the morning as I type this up!

Jodie arrived. Soon got the meds sorted, and I asked her to take my socks off for me, please. Got a raised eyebrow response, but she did remove them, bless her cotton socks. Chose nibbles and a drink in appreciation, taking the black bag with her to the chute as she left.

I took two photos of the view from the kitchenette window in different camera modes/settings.

They seemed to turn out pretty much the same in appearance?

The frames were different shapes.

I got settled in the second-hand, £300, c1968, overwhelmingly-sickeningly beige coloured, tatty, uncomfortable, wobbly-recliner.
The tummy rumbled, and I had to rise to have a wee-wee.
Back into the £300, second-hand, decrepit, Haemorrhoid Harold-testing, sleep deterring, nauseatingly beige-coloured, not-working recliner. And blow me, needed another wee-wee. Up again and over to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket).
Back yer again into the £300, second-hand bought, c1968, nauseously beige-coloured, not-working, rusty, rickety, crumb-holder of a tatty recliner. Mastered it this time. I was asleep in minutes… Bliss!

Inchcock: Wednesday 28th September 2020

/ Inchie / 52 Comments

POLITICAL CARTOON
The Labour Party Attack Planners!
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A tongue-in-cheek ode today!

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05:00hrs: I woke up, but I wanted to go back to sleep again. I awaited the arrival of the needs doe a wee-wee and or the Porcelain Throne, half-hoping to nod off again. As I lay there, partly hanging off of the £300, bought over eight years ago from the charity shop, Harold Haemorrhoids testing, repugnantly beige-coloured, crumb containing, virus-breeding, acne-giving, rickety, none-working recliner, it dawned on me that I maybe should not be so tired? I think I’d had nearly six hours of shut-eye!
Minutes later, following a very odd, almost musical, extended release of gas from the rear end, I rose, caught my balance and hobbled to the wet room.
No rushing, but I sensed that things mayhaps be about to begin of their own accord evacuation-wise. So got my bottom on the Porcelain Throne. A good job too. A totally different style of product exited. Similar to a single giant Zophobas Morio worm, it was even the same colour. No stink with it this time. No bleeding either. Well, being there, I decided to get the actioned.
Med HydrWhat seems to be the regulation-two minimal nicks shaving. Another lump came off the double molar teeth cleaning. And Little Inchies needed treating.
Then I got the started. Got the sphygmomanometer and did the Blood Pressure.

Not so good again. As for the last couple of days, it was at Hypertension Red One. The body temperature was back up too high again, at 36.5°f.

I made a mug of 99 tea and made a start on the Computing. But had to go to the , for a second visit. Aha! Yet another different evacuation. Bat to the rabbit droppings mode this time. Still no bleeding from anywhere, and there was no pain in passing. There was a more distinctive aroma attached to this second dollop, though.

I meandered into the kitchenette, then the balcony, and took a few photographicalisation of the views that were available. The end of Chestnut Walk car park.

Then a straight ahead picture of the low horizon puffer clouds.

They soon filled the sky later. But the Lumix was not having it again! I know that the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions, and other grotesqueries that haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchcock; to curse with bad luck, create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare, worry and confuse me! But this Lumix is doing my head in! Then I took the last shot to date, of the clouds in the car park.
  Arrived, he said when asked that he was not so bad today. That didn’t stop the yawns coming through. He was not in such a rush today. Checked the wrist alarm batteries, and we had a gossip that went down well.

Things started to ape-shit when Richard left! So, the diary will get a bit thin now; detail-wise, sorry.

The computer screen froze

,

Started his tap-tapping, clanging and banging activities again. Not for as long as yesterday, about three or four hours, methinks. But there’s plenty of time for him to get out and buy more and noisier tools and Cocaine and come back and kick off again. Hehehe!

I got on with the Tuesday blog updating. But it was a long hard slog; I was making so many mistakes, even I couldn’t believe it. I spent yonks correcting stuff. No doubt I’ve missed many things. Very frustrating! Well into the afternoon by the time I got it done and posted off.

I went for at least my twelfth wee-wee, just as Herbert started clunking away again.

The landline flashed – My plans were thrashed.
She said they would pick me up in the morning for the Doctors visit at 10:00hrs. I mentioned the Friday booking for the Diabetes session. A momentarily scary silence! We do not have a booking for you this week.
Richard had told Deana for me two weeks ago of the changes made. I suppose I should have checked after last week’s welcome but unexpected lift to Bulwell. The dreaded words… ‘You’ll have to phone us in the morning at 08:30hrs. I don’t know if we can do it until then’ This is going to be fun. I tried again to contact Deana but was diverted. She must be off work ill or on holiday. This struggle to get help is so frustrating.

The fatigue fell, and I gave up. I’ll make a meal, then the evening care will be due to arrive and wake me up again; unless, of course, I don’t fall asleep… No, don’t be silly!

Nosh

Fell asleep

Carer Chloe woke me up and gave me medications.

Sunset shots

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Inchcock: Tuesday 27th September 2022

/ Inchie / 2 Comments

POLITICAL CARTOON

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I just thought I’d do you an Ode to cheer you up!

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05:30hrs: I stirred slowly back into imitation life.
I had a desire for a mug of tea, a strong one. So this forced me out of the £300, second-hand bought nine years ago from the second-hand shop on Mansfield Road, Harold Haemorrhoid testing, repugnantly beige-coloured, crumb containing, virus-breeding, acne-giving, rickety, none-working recliner. Did the exercises and caught my balance, albeit not fully; I was a little wobbly doing to the kitchenette and got the kettle on.

Glad to see I had not left the hot water tap (faucet) running, no heat left on the stove, and had shut the fridge and geezer doors.
The view outside was, to me, anyway, one of the prettiest for a long time. I decided to take some photographs. The Lumix battery was still charging, so I used the Fuji camera. A smidgeon disappointed with these shots compared to how they looked to my eyes – but then again, I have , and Achromatopsia Archie to contend with… the only excuse I could think of. Hahaha! I delayed making the brew, so I could get the done.
A little higher than yesterday’s figures.
Still in the Hypertension Red 1 zone, just but close to the Hypertension Red 2 zone. It seems my two-day sojourn into the amber zone has ended.
SYS 157, DIA 71, Pulse 82. The body temperature at 35.8°f. That’s come down a fair bit; very nice!

I got the figures into the Excel graph and cut out the last few days to show the comparisons. The daily zones I’ve been in are looking too good, Six in the Reds but three in the light greens. So not so bad after all.
Then I made a brew of J Sainsbury Extra-Strong Brown Label tea. Superb!

I got a waste bag made up and then went to get the ablutions done. No shaving, as I had one late last night, did I not? Yes, I did.
Sounded the ♫Oh, Susana ♫ tune and came into the room. He was splitting the time between coughing and yawning this morning, poor bloke.
I took a bag into the kitchen to get Richard’s treats packed up. As I got underneath the door frame, I collapsed on both knees! No dizziness nor Neuropathic leg dancing, and no idea what had caused it? Hit my head on the way down. And within moments, kicked off as well. It was a blessing that Richard was here when it happened. He got me back up and into a chair. The effects were, apart from Anne Gyna, not too bothersome. I took an extra painkiller, with the usual medications, and Phorpained both knees. The knees and head were soon cleared. It’s just that’s giving me hassle now.

Further…

① The flipping Lumix camera has stopped working again!

② The Fuji camera I left on this morning and the batteries are flat! Humph!

③ has started what must be a mammoth job. Not stop banging, tapping and clattering noises for bloody hours; he didn’t stop until around 17:00hrs!

④ My concentration was shot, and my anger and impatience grew!

⑤ kicked of with a fogginess never known. Is it not bad enough that had a tumble? , , and the cursed were making me miss shake and hitting wrong icons, which I could barely see anyway… my frustration and Herbert’s noise were really getting me uptight! Without the next cock-up:

⑥ I actually deleted all of the 80-40-0 icons from the computer! Permanently! I had to spend hours making new ones on CorelDraw, getting them on WordPress, and sizing each one of 32 tags individually before using them!

I am now going to stop computing and try to get something to eat. The evening carer is due anytime now – she or he will miss the pleasure of waking me up.

Fed-up. Peed off, in pain, struggling to see, and generally not feeling very good. If Herbert starts his noise again when I’m eating my food, I will be tempted to go up to the animal’s flat and have words, but I’m ready, through frustration and anger, to go a step further than words- which is a silly idea at my age. Of course, he may have had some carpet fitted or repair work carried out?

Well, blow me down with a feather duster! The Lumix us working again? This is baffling me. Then again, a lot of things do that nowadays!

Jenny called on the landline; the last of the glasshouse tomatoes had arrived, and she kindly said she’d pop some up doe me later on. ♥ Bless her. She’s so kind to me.
Minutes later, burst from the door chime. Jenny had brought them up and left them outside the door. And they were super-duper tasty! She even skipped in a Cadbury creme egg for me. Hahaha!
I made the meal; I sliced some tomatoes on a leaf-side tray. Just got down to eat it, and…
Rang out! Got up and ventured to the door; it was neighbour Josie, bringing me some bananas as a thank you for her letting me down with the Sunday lunch. For the first time ever, she apologised for letting me know so late in the day. Bless her! I still ink her Sister is a bit of a bully towards her; what the Sister says, Josie does. I made light of it and asked if she enjoyed the reheated chilli. “Oh, it was lovely!” she replied. That cheered me up.
I got down in the £300 second-hand, decrepit, Haemorrhoid Harold-testing, sleep deterring, nauseatingly beige-coloured, not-working recliner. And took the first forkful of the BBQ-flavoured rice, which was nice…
, came in. She got the medications sorted, and we had a little natter and a laugh about something or other. Sam took her choice of drinkies and nibbles on her way out.
I was going to get back to the now cold meal, but could not rely on me remembering to lock the door, so went and did that.

Tried again to get the meal eaten. I succeeded this time. Haha!
Despite it being barely warm, I thoughourly enjoyed it. As I mentioned earlier, Jenny’s tomatoes tasted superb.

A Flavour Rating of 8.2/10 was given.

I put the emptied of all food tray on the Carers table and proceeded to watch an episode of Heartbeat on Channel 10 on Freeview.
Ahhh!

Saturday 3rd September 2022

/ Inchie / 7 Comments

THE WANDERER? HIS BRAIN

TODAY’S POLITICAL CARTOON
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DIARY

01:00hrs: Started making the template and graphics to make this blog with. galore were made over the next two hours.
was in full Incapacitating-Mode! Using her mighty Memory-Muddling skills.
were guaranteed by the danged , in turn, brought on by Pete. Some bad mistakes and damage were made, needing a lot of putting right, by just two most ill-timed attacks from . How I managed to clear the fault caused in Word (Being used for the Ode) and get it working again was nothing short of a miracle. For I had no idea what I was doing. Phew!

Around 05:00hrs, I went to put the kettle on to brew my first mug of Glengettie tea. Then decided to get them sorted out.
Another pleasant set of return figures this Saturday.
SYS 138, DIA 68. The Pulse, I could not read, with these eyes, 70-something I think it was.
Whereinsoever, the resulting graph showed me well down into the Amber, yet again. I’m doing well on these lately, am I not?
Just in case I misread some of the numbers on the terrible smudgy photo I took of the still working Sphygmomanometer, manufactured by ZDEAC (Zhongshan Daguan Electrical Appliance Company Ltd) in Guangdong, China
Put the kettle on, and I needed to go off to the wet room again.
Another tough one to get moving, keep moving, then tough to stop moving – though to stop; because the came in. The smell in the wet room was crude and chronic; well, it would be. Everything was so freshly delivered, Hahaha!
I got finished, bleeding again from the rear end. Three times in a row now. I sprayed some freshener around the room so it didn’t filter into where Carer Sam was. She got the medications sorted and given. a mini-natter gave her chocolate from the fridge as a thank you, and she took the waste bag with her to the chute for me. Thanks, Sam.

On with the blogging again.WordPress is not letting me into the comments drop-down list. So I had to get at in a roundabout way through the My Site link. That’s not working either. So, had to go on the comments side link. Not ideal with my eyesight; so easy to misread them or get the wrong one… !

But Mr Fatigue visited, so I had to stop and try to catch up with some Sweet Morpheus time. But guess what convinced me to do so?

: for an hour or so. Then I got back onto the computer and swiftly nodded off again.
Not a snooze this time, but fully-blown snoring and waking myself up with a jerk repeatedly session. how the hell I stayed on the little swivel chair? Especially with the rampant being the cause of so many jump-awake episodes!
I feared I might have missed the Amazon delivery. (Only some socks). So thought I’d better check on the intercom – it was showing 8 missed calls! Which convinced me I must have missed him.
I went to look out of the door in case he might have left them there, but no.

I made an early meal and, at last, created a decent tasting one. I cooked some vegetables in the oven and made some gravy with them. Put them in a plastic tray. And made up[ some instant potatoes, Inchcock style: Liquid salt, mock-bacon bits, and cheese all bashed up together. Put the tray in the microwave oven for 20 seconds. Added some of my favourite smoked BBQ sauce, and I tucked into it. Made a little too much mash but still ate it all slowly! Flavour Rating: 7.8/10! Washed what few things needed it, had a wee-wee, belched and savoured the flavour that came up with the wind. Hehehe!

NokiaI got back to the computer, amazingly still tired, and got a call on my Nokia 9 Pureview Mobile, with its Android (Pie) updatability, Corning Gorilla Glass 5, Octa-Core Gold CPU, 4K@30fps, 1080p@30fps, HDR video, USB Type-C 3.1, %x12 MP. 28mm Camera, Bluetooth, A-GPS, Fingerprint (under display, optical), accelerometer, gyro, proximity, compass, barometer, Li-Po 3320 mAh, non-removable, fast charging 18W, Quick Charge 3.0, USB Power Delivery. Fast wireless charging 10W – Qi Battery.

It was Jenny calling to tell me she had left some tomatoes for me outside the door. She was suffering from back pain again. So I said thank you for the tomatoes, and I will drop some painkillers off for her. I hastened down with some good pain-relief tablets and handed them to her. A lovely pair, Jenny and Frank. I do hope they can ease her suffering a little. ♥

Back down and put the Jenny donated tomatoes in a cool cupboard. By gum, they look good.

Back onto the computer. Straight away, I was visited by none other than .
Despite her best attentions, I fell asleep again! Another hour lost. Waking up with the usual jump and in need of a wee-wee, I found the bucket rather full.
So, I took the bucket to be emptied and sanitised. And to use the Porcelain for passing the wee-wee.
I must have been within 3-ft of the intercom when it flashed.
It was the Amazon man with the socks. He was in and up in no time, a smile on his face, too!
So I offered him a choice of treats in thanks; from the radiator top.
He opted for the Tango orange drink.

Sarah arrived. In a good mood tonight. As she came in, she noticed my Tork hanging on the pegs in the hallway. She whipped out her mobile and took a selfie while wearing the hat. Hahaha! Got the tablets sorted, still didn’t remind me of I needed any Peptac or Pain Gelling. Then again, only Carer Richard asks that. Nice gal, Sam (If I’ve got the right name?) She took the waste bags with her as she left. ♥

Finally, I got back on the computer. WordPress had not forwarded the answers to the comments that I made yesterday. More time lost.
I went to see if any sunsetting photos could be seen from the kitchenette window. I hadn’t realised how time had passed; it was dark and dank out there.

Photographicalisation No. 1:
Not one that would normally get posted here on the Inchcock Today blog. Wasn’t it awful!
Photographicalisation No. 1: Ah, yes, that’s a bit betterer. There were no , or shakes as far I could tell, that could be blamed for the first disaster of a picture? Not that the second one is a very good mind.

I visited the WordPress Reader section next: it let me get into it this time.
Got this blog finished and posted off.

Carer Richard, Odes & Diary

/ Inchie / 34 Comments

CARER RICHARD

He goes the extra mile to care for me!

ODES

Richard goes the extra mile in looking after me, you see…

He’s called paramedics to the hospital he dispatched me.

Found me on the floor, lifted me up; and I’m heavy!

He’s reduced the effects of my Whoopsiedangleploppery!

After giving me my medications, if he’s the time, to which I agree…

We sometimes have a bit of mental verbal buffoonery,

Monday, checking the dates on medications, was he…

Richard saw on the stove my pan of Chilli,

He suggested a new way of cooking, which sounded good to me!

Told me with cheese on top, it would be very tasty,

So, I made some that way later and could not disagree,

It tasted better than a well-cooked sosatie.

Ate it, felt sated, down the chair – I’ve not got a settee…

But with my feet up, I settled to watch the footy on ITV…

Half-time, I went to make a brew of Glengettie tea…

Getting the cup and washing up the cutlery…

Oh, dear, the innards suddenly rumbled – but only weakly…

The rear end just started to emit things terribly…

I rushed to the Porcelain Throne in a hurry… but I was too late!

Banged my shoulder on the door frame going in, mate!

What a mess; I was in a right mucky state…

Cleaned things and me up, new aerated PP’s on, to alleviate…

Sad when one has an uncontrollable trip to defecate…

At least the shoulder I didn’t dislocate!

Out and back to the kitchenette for the brew,

And immediately another churning, another release was due!

Back to the Porcelain Throne, I almost flew!

A bigger mess this time, sticky goo!

Good job, I made it in time, I can tell you!

Cleaned and washed, and back on the flaming loo!

After five more Throne visits, each one causing ballyhoo…

Things settled at last; in future, Chilli, I’ll have to eschew!

I’ll have some home-made beef stew,

Oh, no beef, summat else will do…

Ah, the Vegan beefburger tonight; the risks should be few

Hoping there’ll be no trouble with the residue!

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All fine that night, I woke up feeling refreshed and pert,

This morning as I stood up, the Haemorrhoids hurt,

The borborygmus rumbled, and to the Porcelain Throne I stumbled,

An hour later, I’d passed at least six times… my spirits crumbled…

Each evacuation was a close call, as I rushed and fumbled…

My poor piles were stinging and battered; they itched!

Uh-oh! The last one sneaked out early; I had to ventilate…

It seemed the pong was worse by a hundredfold,

Finally, I got the escapees under control…

That leaves Carer Richard this morning, who needs to be told…

A warning of his recipe given, especially to the thick & old…

That eating it, diarrhorea would be empowered!

Richard arrived, I told him of my Chilli agony, and he was unflustered!

Laughter flowed from the lad, totally unhindered…

No guilt, no shame… Never seen the lad so cheery…

He suggested I get a new nappy!

Hahaha!

Inchcock’s Make ‘Em Laugh Series

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I’ve never ever seen Richard laugh out loud and so hard! I think his mood was as near to schadenfreude as one can get. Even amid my agonies and Trotsky Terence’s having a hay-day with my innards and the Protection Pant stocks running desperately low…, it cheered me up to have made him so happy and contented. It did as much good as any medications.

With a possible hint of epicaricacy creeping in there… Hahaha!

Last evening’s photographicalisations were, to me, some of the best I’ve managed to take. How the shaking and shuddering (apart from the right shoulder Shuddering Shoulder Shirley) had suddenly dried up was something of a minor miracle? However, as I was closing the windows after taking the pictures, they kicked off again, off course. But a nice two first-time shots? Ah, the rumbling innards have started off again, out of the blue. I made a speedy as I could lunge for the wet room, wary of Trotsky Terence’s grip on the innards. The evacuation was the smallest in days and more than capable of controlling. I remained sat where I was on the Throne and got the crossword book out. I was not going to get caught out like I have been so many times recently by needing another release minutes later. About five minutes later, the second lot came.
I had a shave and shower, and the ankle ulcer in this photo looked like a luminescent inner core? At least it did to my cataracted eyes. But it looked to the eyes as usual? If I remember, I’ll ask the evening carer to have a look. (I forgot to, Tsk!) . The body temperature was acceptable again. That’s several days on the trot, so things look good there. Shaking Shaun caused me to drop the thermometer, but it still works; phew! The Sys was still highish, the DIA lowish, and the Pulse was AOK! Overall, I was tempted to go into Smug-Mode, but I remembered last week… I declined! That was when the SYS went up to 174 for one day, then down to 123?

I had a look at the food situation in the fridge. There seemed plenty to do me over the weekend, and the freezer was pretty full, so I decided no food order was needed until next week! Yes! I made a decision…me! I made one in 1968 as well, you know. Then made another one! I had a long chinwag with the family. Gave each one a mini cuddle and had a few words with each of them. ♥ All donated by e-friends, Lisa, Pattie and Marie; thank and bless them!

I had a walk down to the ground floor, using the lift, of course. And started to have a hobble the length of the three blocks of flats, to come out from Winchester Court and hobble along Chestnut Way back to my beloved Woodthorpe Court… but… An urgent need suddenly needed! So I doubled back and got to the Throne in time to avoid any Accifauxpas or Whoopsiedangleploppery! Which was good!

Washed and got a snap of the end car park taken from the balcony. What happened with this terrible photo? I took it without thinking through the glass; I didn’t open the window. Wot a pillock! So I did a better shot from the other end of the balcony, of the view towards Nottingham City Centre, two miles away. Then got a late nosh sorted out. Veg & pickle balls, with added caramelised onion chutney, tomatoes, chips and my beloved raw, fresh pod peas. I had three little marshmallows for my make-do dessert. I would have had some yoghourt or lemon mousse, but Iceland and Sainsbury’s didn’t have any in stock – Grumph! 

So, there it is! A day of misery, defeatism, joy, laughter and utter confusion- just a typical day for Inchcock! Cheers!