Inchcock Gets Letter of Support from the Hospital

GC corner3jpegI received a wonderful letter of support today, from me hospital physiatrist bloke.

Here it is:

Dear Mr Inchcock,

Some well intended advice for you here from my team at the Queen’s Medical Centre Sir.

Please check before leaving home to come to the hospital:

Hosp04aHave you taken your morning medications, and applied the creams and antiseptics?

Are you wearing your outdoor clothing and not your pyjamas and or slippers?

Have you got your glasses on, and reading glasses with you?

Your bus-pass, hearing aids in and, mobile phone with you?

Have you your Medical declaration card in the event of an emergency?

Your medications pen, crossword and current reading book?

Have you applied the prescribed medicinal creams to your hands, knees and lower regions?

Can you remember where you’re supposed to be going and why?

Have you forgotten any other appointments for today that you might have made earlier with your GP, chemist, Audio clinic, Housing benefits office, Haematology dep’t etc?

If you are walking to the QMC today, please take you umbrella with you. If going by public transport, as we reminded you earlier, please take you bus-pass with you, and remember to check if it is out of date first.

Can you remember the number of the buses and where they go that you are going to use today?

Try not to fall asleep on the bus again.

Do try to keep an eye out for Mobility Scooters Mr Inchcock, as you are currently costing the NHS a lot of money in being treated medically after your recent incidents of your being ran into and knocked over by them.

It has been brought to my notice from various department heads that you keep wandering off during treatment, and getting yourself lost.

The QMC is a very large place, and finding you at times can be a bit of a problem (Repeatedly for us).

Having called a meeting to try and solve this issue. Many ideas were put forward and suggested.

* Inserting a bleeper in your body, is still being discussed – with you being deaf, we realise we would need an extra loud one, and that might scare other patients who are in the locality you have absconded and found yourself in.

* We considered giving you a Satellite navigation system of the QMC, but the cost Hosp03was too prohibitive.

* Handcuffing you seemed a little harsh, although the concept has been put on a back burner in the event of any other agreed plan failing.

* Those who suffer most, the Haematology INR testing team, who have to cope with you at least once a week suggested: That we purchase a hat, with a flashing light and sign around your neck saying “Please return this patient to the Hosp04Blood Taking Room ASAP” This notion found some merit with the others. They added that blinkers on you might help you not to lose your concentration and wander off looking at anything that sparkles. The Rheumatology Team added to the suggestion, that perhaps we could leave a section of the sign blank then, whichever department is currently dealing with you at the time, could write their department in the space. This idea, I could see, was getting a great deal of acceptance to all at the meeting.

Hosp02sign* The Maintenance crew at the meeting (Those who have to clean and clear up after your little escapades, collisions with Mobility Scooters, getting lost and going in the wrong departments, going into wards and climbing into bed with other patients and eating their food etc) then came up with the best idea yet, and the one which we have adopted for you.

They said they would build a sign especially for you, and erect it at the north entrance (That you use when you get off the bus) of the hospital. We set about deciding to put only the essential and Juan Inchcock applicable details on the sign.

Please find a graphic of the sign below, that is to be ready and on show within two day, well before your next arranged appointment.

We all would appreciate it if you would take the effort to read and digest the information we have provided on it.

The nurses at the Haematology Department have asked me to mention to you, could you please avoid eating any brussel sprouts, curries, baked beans, broccoli, onions or prunes before your appointment please.

HospbottomYours

Dr Vladimir Goebbels

Queens Medical Centre

Venerable Mature Psychiatric Patients Support Group.

Inchcock Diary 01

HeaderMaster

Friday 29th August 2014

18 8 01Late night for me last night – didn’t wake up until 0630hrs, feeling groggy and shaky.

Had a good rinse, dried off and sprayed my manlyless flabby body with Fly-spray by mistake for Antiperspirant.

This is not the first time that I have done something like this… proof I suppose, that an Inchock never learns!

More worry followed: The laptop took a good 12 minutes to load from booting… oh dear; soon I may disappear from the ether I fear.

Angina bad today, bad as it’s ever been really.

This totally knocks me concentration off course, and I decided it was best not to go out today. Then I changed me mind.

I had a walk/limp into Sherwood and took some stuff to the Nottingham Hospice charity shop.

Called in Wilko and got a 4litre weedkiller. How I was stupid enough to buy it then, knowing I’d have to carry it around with me on me walk I don’t know – but I regretted it later.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERACaught the bus into town. Then caught but out to Lidl on Ilkeston Road, to see if they had any of the onions in that me Sister Jane wanted, and Lidl in Carrington had ran out of. But no.

Foolishly, I decided to walk all the way home. (Brave Fool!)

Got to where the Aldi shop was, and 19 8 001acalled in to see if they had the onions in. No.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAI noticed how many folk walk along the centre of the roads nowadays, and cyclist ride on the pavements?

Hobbled on (Feet and knees bad now – Tut!) and called in Asian supermarket for a look around. Got some bits, just to add to the weight I was already struggling to carry in me bags like. (Twit!)

Last stretch into Carrington was agony – everything seemed to start then. Angina off again, knees and feet painful, piles performing, stomach ulcer even joined in giving me gip then. (Tsk!)

Got in and collapsed metaphorically speaking.

Saturday 30th August 2014

Up at 0500hrs – knackered and in pain again.

Had to sort out me Inch that had been bleeding in the night.

Not happy at all, depression crept in a bit. (Tut)

Did nowt but feel sorry fer missen, getting me blogs ready, reading me book, watching DVD, and visiting the WC.

Sunday 31st August 2014

Hell of a job to get up this morning, the back wasn’t too interested in letting me. Had to sort bleeding out agen. (Tsk!)

Feeling so low once more.

13 8 medsManaged to get up, and realised then that I’d missed me evening medications when I found the full pot… what a clot! (The poetry comes free folks – hehehe)

By the time I’d got the laptop going, a cuppa and me porridge ready, the angina returned and was giving me some gip too. I even had a dizzy spell, but that might be due to me missing last night’s meds?

18 8 01aStruggling to get me posts formulated, making silly errors, hope I can spot em before posting.

Tired today.

* Sorry this ain’t as funny as usual folks, when I feel a bit better, I’ll be back to form. TTFN

My mate big John rang, to see if I wanted to go to the Steaming display at Wollaton today. “Yes please” I responded. “Be ready for one o’clock he says.

BJ and his better half picked me up at 1400hrs, and off we drove to the Steaming Fair.

It were grand there, I really enjoyed it speaking to real people with a similar interest in steam and old transport.

Bought a book of old trolleybus’s while I was there, I love em.

They ran me back to the hovel, I thanked them and reminded BJ to bring his memory stick to the launderette Tuesday, so I could put piccies onto it. Off they went.

Gloom returned.

 

Inchcock Today: Tuesday 26th August 2014

03 01

I was up at 0400hrs – blood from me Inch and rear quarters again. Got missen sorted, cleaned and antiseptically creamed. (Sound awful dunnit? But it’s alright… honest.)

Did me ablutions of all types and down the stairs and put the laptop on.

Back upstairs to the WC.

Back downstairs, put kettle on, took rubbish out, then had a cuppa and went on internet… for a few minutes until BT connection started playing up again. Tsk!

I place an order with Morrison’s for delivery twixt 0630 > 0730 in the morning. I used my £15 off Voucher.

I was going to the launderette, Nottingham Hospice charity shop, then QMC Anticoagulation (Warfarin level) blood test unit today – but I had some dizzy spells whilst sat down this morning. So I decided to call at the NHS Call-in centre and get appointment for the doctor. When I go there first (before the GPs surgery), they usually call the surgery and get me a quicker appointment.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Nottingham City – The Queen of the Midlands

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAI’ll take me stuff to the Age Concern charity shop today instead, because it’s on the way to the NHS centre in town.

Got missen lookin’ pretty and smelling nice, and set off on the walk into town.

I called in on the way at the launderette, had a chat with Mandy and Big John.

On me walk, I noticed how appealing some of the properties were on Mansfield Road, and took a couple of photo’s of them. I think these properties are why Nottingham City Council call it ‘Nottingham City – The Queen of the Midlands’ (Hehehe!)

I realised as I got in town, that I had not got me mobile with me, and considered having it with me as most important and needed, in the event of my getting mugged again, or collapsing and it being there to call for help!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

A bargain here methinks. Mobile and £20 air-time for ££29.95. Old type phone mind, but owt newer would confuse me?

So I called in the O2 shop on Clumber Street to see how much a Pay-as-you-go phone would cost me. But no one moved when I entered the shop, just gave me suspicious looks?

So I limped over to Victoria Shopping Centre and called in the first mobile shop I came to ‘Phones 4 U’, and was approached on entry by a chap who immediately reminded me of ‘Private Walker’ from ‘Dads Army’ Nudge nudge, wink wink type like!

Anyway, he soon got sorted with a phone for £9.95, set it up and got it going like for me. I bought £20 air-time I think they call it, so got it all for £29.95. Even if he was a little unenthusiastic about it. So now, I can keep it in me bag all the time, and know if I do forget me main one, I’ll have a life-line. (5p a minute) All I’ve got to do, he says, is make one call a month. What do you think? Did I do right?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

QMC this morning

So off the charity shop and donated me bits.

Then to the NHS centre. Bless ‘em, they got me an appointment for the morning with the GP.

Then I was off to catch the bus to the hospital.

Read a bit of me Eric Morecome book en route. The sunshine is out now, so in celebration I took a photo of the entrance.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Bulwell’s bustling market?

They soon saw to me, and I was out (Raining now) and in the queue for Bulwell bus.

Arrived in Bulwell, limped off the bus (Me knees had stiffened during the ride)

The crap Market was on today. I went in the pound shop to get some weed-killer.

Then a walk to the cheapo shop, but they had nowt worth bothering about in again.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Gorgeous!

Then to Fultons Frozen Food shop, and got another pack of the microwave sausages. (Oh I do love em!) I hope I can get me frozen lollies in the freezer that I ordered for tomorrow. (Yer see, any normal person, would not have bothered to share that with you would they – Worrying innit?)

Mobility scooters were around in number today… oh dear.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Great read this

I limped to the bus station to catch the 17 back to the flea-pit, big queue. Read more of Eric Morecombe book.

Dropped off at Carrington, walked to the hovel.

Put kettle on, started laptop.

WC.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

A constant danger to hobbling Inchcock these!

Had a search for me mobile – no luck yet, but I’m sure I saw it earlier this morning.

WC.

Started to do this blog.

WC.

Found mobile in bathroom. Why I didn’t think earlier of looking between the shaving foam and fresh air sprays I’ll never know. I’m glad I did though, because I also found me spare glasses.

Huh!

Inchcock Checks Out His Medications

War001b

The magazine review:

Wartabs

I think this worried Inchcock a bit?

Warfarin (a colourless, crystalline, water-insoluble anticoagulant, C19H16O4) Introduced in 1948 as a pesticide against rats and mice, and is still used for this purpose.

Warfarin was found to be effective and relatively safe for preventing thrombosis and thromboembolism in many disorders. It was approved for use as a medication in 1954, and has remained popular ever since; Warfarin is the most widely prescribed oral anticoagulant drug.

War01

Not too encouraging a review here for Inchcock!

Despite its effectiveness, the treatment with Warfarin has several shortcomings. Many commonly used medications interact with Warfarin, as do some foods (particularly leaf vegetable foods or “greens,” since these typically contain large amounts of vitamin K1) and its activity has to be monitored by blood testing for the international normalised ratio (INR) to ensure an adequate yet safe dose is taken.

A high INR predisposes to a high risk of bleeding, while an INR below the therapeutic target indicates the dose of Warfarin is insufficient to protect against thromboembolic events, and may encourage blood clotting.

When you take Warfarin, your blood won’t clot as easily. If you accidentally cut yourself while taking Warfarin, you may bleed heavily. You’re more likely to have bleeding problems if you’re older than 75 or take other blood-thinning medications that can further increase your bleeding risk.

War04

Warfarin side effects that require immediate medical attention

1) Severe bleeding

Inchcock Not affected at the moment

2) Black stool or bleeding from the rectum

Inchcock affected: Went to see GP, told he had haemorrhoids.

3) Skin conditions such as hives, a rash or itching

Inchcock affected: Mentioned to GP, who prescribed the old git Cetraben cream.

4) Swelling of the face, throat, mouth, legs, feet or hands

Inchcock affected: GP prescribed Furozamide water tablets.

5) Bruising that comes about without an injury you remember

Inchcock affected: Occasionally this happen. Inchcock notices sometimes in a morning, he puts this down to the nightmares he has nightly might have caused him to toss about a bit. He sleeps on the floor to ease his back pain you see.

6) Chest pain or pressure

Inchcock affected: GP put this down to his Angina and Reflux valve, and increased his Angina medication dosage.

7) Nausea or vomiting

Inchcock Not affected:

8) Fever or flu-like symptoms

Inchcock affected: He tells me these seem to be ever present.

9) Joint or muscle aches

Inchcock affected: GP told him to expect these and his Arthritis doesn’t help.

10) Diarrhoea

Inchcock Not affected:

11) Difficulty moving

Inchcock affected: He says every day can be different. As the CP suggested, he gets out for a hobble as often as his condition allows him to. Three/four times a week. Dizzy spells can be a bother to him though.

12) Numbness or tingling in any part of your body

Inchcock affected: Hands fingers and feet are the worst affected.

13) Painful erection lasting four hours or longer

Inchcock affected: Boy of boy… yes, every night! Hence the current bleeding on his Inch.

14) Severe dizziness

Inchcock affected: Not regular pattern, but some days it can be incapacitating to Inchy. GP changed amounts of some of his medications, but the dizzy spells continue.

15) Trouble breathing

Inchcock affected: GP puts this down to his angina and reflux valve.

Less serious Warfarin side effects to tell your doctor about

1) Explosive and unexpected emissions of wind from the anus.

Inchcock affected: Boy is he affected! GP told him to expect this due to the Warfarin, his Reflux Valve sticking and his earlier cancer operation.

2) Feeling cold

Inchcock affected: GP told him to expect this.

3) Fatigue

Inchcock affected: Hence the old man’s falling asleep at any given time. That’s why he lost his driving licence, and nowadays falls asleep at his laptop, on the bus, in the hospital waiting room etc.

4) Pale skin

Inchcock affected: So much so he told me he thought he’d died the other day when he woke up and looked in the mirror.

5) Changes in the way foods taste

Inchcock affected: He has found himself liking food he did not like before going on Warfarin.

6) Hair loss

Inchcock affected: Although his being bald headed makes this a tad difficult to monitor, his chest and underarm hairs have diminished, and his moustache is turning grey.

Although rare, Warfarin can also cause skin tissue death (necrosis) and gangrene requiring amputation. This complication most often happens three to eight days after you start taking Warfarin. If you notice any sores, changes in skin colour or temperature, or severe pain on your skin, notify your doctor immediately.

Inchcock wrote in a very unsteady hand that he had considered looking into the side effect of his many other medications… but had decided against it.

Inchcock’s Local Elections Survey – From hospital!

Reporter Juan Inchcock’s Interviews Hospital Staff and Patients

GC zimmer04jJuan had originally been out on his mission to obtain the views of the Nottingham public, on the upcoming Local Elections, while the July to August 2012 Olympics were taking place, but he suffered failure in that attempt when he was injured as a Mobility Scooter knocked him over, as he was out trying to get people’s views on the upcoming local elections for the WordPress Failed Writer’s Gazette’s Juan Inchcock Column – Local Elections Survey. Hence this, his second effort, done during his stay in ward E19 of the QMC hospital in Nottingham, as a result of his injuries received during his first attempt.

Al05letterAs soon as he started to come around after the hernia operation, he was again, on the job. Pen and pad at his bedside, ready to record the views of the NHS staff on the local elections.

His first victim to be interviewed was male nurse Mahmood Shafquat (23), who was returning the intrepid patient’s replacement urine bag, when pen in hand, Juan inquired of him:

“Do you have any views on the upcoming local elections in Nottingham that you’d like to share with readers of the WordPress Failed Writers Gazette  Sir?”

“Too very busy!” was the reply, as he rushed off back to the rest room TV set, leaving behind him the aroma of cigarette smoke.

Al 04Moments later, a smiling SEN arrived with the medication chest, and started to issue Inchy with his prescribed tablets. He asked her for her views:

“Oh… will this be going on the internet then?”

“Well, yes I hope so” Inchy replied

“Good, that bastard Cameron and his shitty-headed rich snotty unelected set of champagne guzzling spoon-in-the-mouth gits should be assassinated, murdered, killed painfully, have their knobs chopped off, and be deported to Outer Mongolia, the scum bags, the punks, the nasty nihilistical knob-ends…”

A shaken Juan waited until she had finished her tirade then replied “Oh… well it was the local elections that I wanted to know your views about really nurse.”

She did not flinch from carrying out her duties and continuing to dispense the medications she said:

“It’s time we had a revolution you know, it should start here in crime ridden filthy Nottingham, knock-off the crooked councillors while the 280 Nottingham policemen are in London policing the Olympics, it should be easy, I can give you a contact number if you want to help us?”

A now severely confused Juan said:

“That’s alright thank you, I’ve got that down.”

The nurse then handed him a plastic cup of water, smiled gently and handed him his tablets saying “Now take these down Mr Inchcock, and take care now. See you later old timer.”

She moved on to the next bed, leaving our reporter dazed.

Al01A Dr Inzamam Choudhury (41) from Gastroenterology visited Inchcock’s bed, and he was asked by Inchcock: “Do you have any views on the upcoming local elections in Nottingham that you’d like to share with readers of the WordPress Failed Writers Gazette please Sir?”

“Good heavens no, I live in Richmond and commute each day… you don’t think I’d live here in Nottingham do you?”

He was still laughing as he left the ward an hour later.

A little later, an Auxiliary Nurse informed the patients that could walk, that the food was ready to be collected at the end of the ward.

Juan got out of bed, and masterfully coped with the zimmer frame and saline drip stand with the accompanying tubes, and waddled down to get his food, pen and pad in his pyjama pocket.

The assistant issuing the food, being his target for an interview, he waited until the ‘rush’ died down, and asked his question, getting the reply from the large, aggressive beauty behind the food trays:

“What? Why do you want to know? Do you think I’ve got time to talk with the likes of you? Sod off!”

Al 03He struggled back down the corridor to his bed, really rather glad she had not given him any food, because he now realised he could not have carried it anyway.

Then, a Hygiene technician started to clean under Inchy’s bed, and he asked her what her views were on the upcoming local elections. She replied:

“Are you talking to me ducks?”

“Yes, if you don’t mind?”

“Bless yer” she replied, bent down an gave Inchy a kiss on his bald head, and walked away laughing?

The Senior Charge Nurse Lance Boyle (36) informed him that Dr Seymour Butt from Psychiatry was coming to have a talk with Inchy!

Al 03betOnce more confused, Juan thought at least he might be able to get the doctors views on the local elections.

The doctor arrived, drew the curtains around the bed, smiled and asked Juan to drop his pyjama bottoms, and started to examine in detail what had been exposed.

Juan took the chance to ask the doctor what his views were on the local elections.

The doctor carried on with his fondling and prodding, and replied:

Al 06“Not a lot, but I suppose the council has to be run by someone. They get a lot of stick I’m told…”

At this point Juan wondered why a doctor from the Psychiatry department had got his wedding tackle in his hands, and was smiling!”

Still, it was all over within an hour and a half and the Doctor patted Inchy on his head, thanked him, popped a polo mint in his mouth and wandered off?

At this stage, Inchy gave up his quest for people’s views on the upcoming local elections.

Alien’s Begging Letter to Home from Nottingham Translated

Al headSoz

Al 06

Inchcock Interview Alien Splgrhgh

Nottingham reporter and wicker-bottom chair repairer Juan Inchcock, has deciphered a letter meant for despatch to another planet, by an alien who had to make an emergency landing on earth, in the Nottingham Council Benefits Office toilets. (Currently under review for closure)

Here is the Juan translated wording:

Dear Mother & Father,

Just to let you know that I am safe after the Lunarzodiac 1066510437 Transportation Vehicle crash landed on the planet Earth.

Al01

The kind earthlings attempted to rescue me when I crash landed… I think?

I landed on a little island called Britain (Although some of the population are out in jail and fined for calling it England?) in a built up locality known as Nottingham, in the centre of the island.

The kind local people must have seen I was in trouble, and broke into the building to try and rescue me.

The many locals immediately took away my damaged LTV-vehicle parts, and I assumed by way of a greeting and welcome, there were many of their land vehicles with blue flashing lights and klaxons in celebration of my safe landing.

They belted me around the head several times, presumably to make me feel at home with the others taking part in what I now know is bi-annual festival they observe here in their summer, as depicted by one of the placards one of their younger rings in the nose types in a gang of 40 or so who were playfully chasing, and throwing lit torches at two men in uniform in one of the vehicles that had the blue flashing lights on top, as they sped away, was carrying that read ‘Blood & Fear’, known as ‘Riots’.

I have been here a long while now, and have discovered many things about this race called, humans, and their habits and ways.

Different nations of the globe use different kinds of ‘currency’ for trading, pleasure, and killing each other. It seems those with the most currency live longer, can get medical help quicker, and tend to be the ruling class of the planet.

Every few years, their leaders send the lower classes to commit something called genocide on the peoples of other nations?

It appears they are now running out of oil, fuels, and common sense.

I have also found out that many of our own criminals have landed here over the years, and taken new identities: Judas Iscariot, Caligula, Mao Si Tung, Joseph Stalin, Adolph Hitler, Idi Amin, Tony Blair and David Cameron being amongst the names they adopted.

Al 03

Guinness

They call this liquid Guinness – it gives the drinker of sufficient quantities a feeling like space-lag they tell me

They drink beverages, like the ‘Beer’ that was cheap until recently, and enjoyed by their proletariat classes, despite their desire to swear, fight, and have a curry and be sick afterwards. And hot burning liquids, called ‘Spirits’ which destroys the livers of the better off ones.

When the lower order of their species get their ‘Benefit currency’, they go straight to what they call a ‘Bookmaker’ and donate much of it to him. Apparently giving it to multiple bets, place, win, each-way, double, treble, accumulator, or a round robin.

Al 03bet

I have yet to find out why, but this seems to make a Mr Coral, Mr Ladbrooke, Mr Betfred, and Mr Paddy Power so happy.

I have noticed that the ‘Britains’ seem to collect many peoples from other countries, Pakistan, Kurdistan, Poland, Jamaica, Lithuania, Romania etc. This causes difficulties in their understanding each other. But they seem to get on fairly well. And the locals kindly put out green bins on the pavements for the others to sort through each day. I think these are a generous people.

Some of the younger ones do not get enough food, education, or ‘Currency’ to exist very well. Others have enough of everything, even making servants of other well ‘Currencied’ beings, by making them fags?

Those in charge, are crooked, cruel and inconsiderate, but the masses don’t seem to mind, as long as they get their Benefit cheque, child allowance, Coronation Street, Football, sex, and ‘A good piss up once a week’.

I have decided to come home to Eruxtrasphere One in a few weeks time.

This is due to an impending disaster in the capital of the country, when they hold something called ‘The World Cup’ there.

Al 04

This is where I’ll be waiting to get collected from… Please!

I read that the BNP will be out protesting, the Muslim Brotherhood will be out protesting, Al Qaeda will be out protesting, the Keep the Police Stations Open Protesters will be out protesting, the striking Teachers will be out protesting, the Failed Asylum Seekers Support Groups will be out protesting, the Respect party members will be out protesting, the We Love Greggs Supporters will be out protesting, and Argentina and Iran may well be attacking the country in the same month!

I will be at the number 17 bus stop in Bulwell Market in Nottingham between 1100hrs and 1200hrs daily from June first.

Please come and collect me!

Love Splgrhgh

XXX

Inchcock Today: Thursday 21st August 2014

W22 headersoz♥ I was up at 0330hrs. (No choice in the matter, urgent WC attention required and I couldn’t get off afterwards Tsk!)

Usual brekkers, took medications and then thought I’d start the laptop and get on with some posts I’d nearly got ready for WordPress.

The laptop took an inordinately long time to start, I really am expecting the worst from the old gal soon. When she did get going, I lost the BT signal repeatedly.

Eventually I go both going after several reboots, restarts and complete reboot. Good old BT.

Spend far too long getting graphics ready for post later, but I did enjoy doing them though.

About 1230hrs, I did me ablutions and put me togs on, and set off I’d decided, to walk to Nottingham Hospice shop taking some bits for em again, and then to catch bus to town and go for a ride out to Derby, taking me books with me. See… I can plan ahead yer know sometimes.

As I was going up the little hill, I thought the skyline warranted a photo – hen I got the camera case out of me bag, I realised I’m left the batteries on change back in the hovel.

W22 7 sheepSo, I hobbled backed to the hovel and got em um put in. Change of plan at this stage.

I had a walk into town (Took photo), and caught the round-about route bus to Bulwell. Then visited the Fultons cheapo Freezer shop in the hope of getting another pack of the cheapo but very good microwave pork sausages, and they had some in again, so gorra pack.

Then had a walk to the cheapo shop, but again, they had nowt in I wanted or fancied.

By now, me feet and knees were aching to say the least.

W22 06 scootDropped the things (DVDs books and a wall clock) off at the Headway Charity Shop, and bought a book, as I’d finished me Hitler the Commander book on the bus going there.

Believe this or not, but a Mobility Scooteress reversed and nearly clobbered me – I tooketh a photo, but she was well on her way by then.

On me hobble back to the bus station I called in Heron Frozen food shop to have a decker. They had some orange W22 05 theatresuckers at 10 for a quid, and Bread flats on offer at a quid, so I got one of each like.

As I was walking past the market place, a Mobility scooter came close to catchin’ me one as he went passed me and jumped off and went into the bookies… Tsk!

Caught the 17 bus back, cause it drops me off quiet close to the flea-pit.

No yobs about I’m very glad to say. Bet they’ll be out later…

W22 04As I turned into the street, the were a dead mouse at me feet! So I took a photo like.

Got in, started the laptop, put me nosh away, made a cuppa. I updated this crap, and posted it.

Did some microwave sausage sandwiches with bbq sauce, followed my an orange sucker. And ate it when I got off the WC.

Taketh care all.

♫ An Inchcock’s lot is not a happy one (Happy one)… ♫

Lot top

An Inchcock’s lot is not a happy one (Happy one)…

This may make very sad reading, I think you will agree,

It’s not for Inchcock, a holiday on the Aegean sea,

A hobble to feed the ducks on the canal is what it’ll be,

He lives on dry bread and out of date beans or mouldy brie,

You cannot call him educated or a bourgeoisie,

He looks like a demented overweight limping pygmy,

He’s old and decrepit, for his coffin he’s now ready,

Gets as much respect as a Brooke Bond chimpanzee,

He puts up with insults, innuendo and much phooey,

Many including himself questioning his sanitation and sanity,

His Brother in law thinks it is time to have him put down gently,

His arthritis and angina make him gobble vitamin B,

He hobbles around talking to himself each day,

 Arthritic knees, and his waterworks are getting leaky,

The eyes and hearing are going, and he’s got dropsy,

His pension is limited although not measly,

How long his new heart will last, we can’t guarantee,

He craves a woman – he’s more chance of winning a grand prix!

Death is not unwelcome to Inchy – it will set him free,

From being bullied, ignored and mugged badly,

Before he goes, perhaps just one plea?

Before he gets to meet Hitler and Elvis Presley,

Please give him in heaven, a nice settee,

His earth house is too small to get one into you see,

Oh, and some another things he’ll miss clearly,

The cups of nice strong flavoured Yorkshire tea,

His bladder’s endless calling him to painfully pee,

The insults, the snubs and muggings he has to decree,

His daily hobbles, when he has the vitality,

His fear of Mobility scooters, he’s been hit by three,

His nervousness of going out when it’s icy or slippery!

If you want a consultation with him, anytime it’ll be free,

Don’t call him though, he’s been cut-off by BT.

Thank you matey

GCyoungreen

Anyone wanting a copy of me ‘Don’t get feeling down, you might not drowned’ booklet, I have a few copies left at a reduced price from £9.99 down to 2p

Walks of Ye Olde Nottingham: Bulwell

18 8 03

Along Bulwell Main Street

 Join our guide for the day, decrepit Senior Citizen and Retired Cinema Wall Gas Light Lighter and Snuffer Outerer Technician of bad sanitary habits and Nottingham resident Bartholomew Utterswaithe, for a walk: Along Bulwell Main Street today, comparing the same walk with that of 1963, when your guide was working on that same street.

Your tour guide Bartholomew will stroll down from what today is the KFC take away, at the end of Hucknall Lane along Main Street into Bulwell Market and to the train and tram Station.

We start off at:

2014:

The recently ram raided Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet.

1963:

Where once stood the proud Adelphi cinema, tickets from 9d (4p) to 1/3d (5¼p).

2014:

On our left, is a second hand car showroom, offering on the front, a 1992 Land Rover for £6,999.

1963:

On the same spot, amazingly, there was a Land Rover dealership outlet, offering a new Land Rovers at £2,935.

2014:

Further up on the left, stands the dilapidated old Sharp’s Vauxhall Dealership premises – destroyed when travellers used it as a base some years ago, and been for sale or rent ever since, no takers though.

1963:

Sharp’s Vauxhall Dealership premises, offering the new Chevette from a price of £1,593!

2014:

On our right, the Cancer Research charity shop, that was in the news recently when they were raided by two knife wielding local yobs.

1963:

Two cottages, later bought by investors and sold to Councillor Arbuthnot.

2014:

Further along, the Extra Charity shop, with furniture etc available for those in need.

1963:

A motorbike shop. With the new Honda 50 cub at under £100 for sale.

2014:

The new Tesco now stands on our left – as yet not raided or fire bombed, but it’s new, give them time. Although the local shoplifters took to it straight away.

1963:

The Scots Grey public House, beer at 1/- (5p) a pint, skittles alley, darts, dominoes, tip-it, bar skittles, shove halfpenny, fags at 3/2d (15¼p) for twenty, good company, an RAOB lodge and a buxom landlady… ah memories!

2014:

As we veer left to main shopping part of the road, come across, a closed down retail unit, another charity shop, a closed down retail unit, a stationery shop, a bank, another charity shop, a closed down retail unit, a Pay Day Loan outlet, a cake shop, a bank, a building society, a closed down retail unit, a butchers, Iceland, a cheap frozen food shop, a closed down retail unit, a shoe shop, a charity shop, a pub, a bingo shop, a buy your gold shop, a closed down retail unit, the ATM that was raided last week outside the bank, the alleyway where the two women were attacked last February, and the ram raided jewellery store that has not opened since, Ali’s newspaper shop, a closed down retail unit, finally near the market place, the Wilko’s store that was broken into last weekend, another favourite with the local shop-lifters.

19 8 001b1963:

There was, a newspaper shop, a sweet shop, a greengrocers, a wet fishmongers, a chip shop, a second hand shop, a bank, a police station, two pubs, a butchers, a cake shop, a Sanderson’s Tripe shop, a Fine Fare supermarket, a Cycle shop, a hairdressers, a hardware shop, a bakers, Roses shoe shop, a Farrand’s grocery shop, a post office, and a wines and spirits shop. The shoplifting craze hadn’t fully installed itself with the local at this time.

2014:

Now at the market: It has all been pedestrianised, the market is no longer held five days a week, but three, and the 54 stalls that used to be there, are down to about 11. Bakers, three greengrocers stalls of sorts, socks & gloves stalls, hot-cold take-away foods, fishmongers van, four women’s clothes stalls, games stall, DVD stall, Accident
cinsurers/claims people lurking, and depressed big issue sellers were there on the day of our visit.

18 8 041963:

Then, there were several greengrocery stalls, two bakery stalls, two butchers stalls, pottery stalls, a fishmonger, a hot pie and peas whelks etc. stall, a chip shop van, a grocery stall, a florist stall, men’s-wear stalls, ladies-wear stalls, shoe stalls, toy stalls, record stalls, hardware stalls, sweet stalls, etc. The trolley buses terminus around the traffic island. (3d [1¼p]maximum fare)

2014:

Around the market: Greggs hot food (20% VAT), Cohen’s Jewellery shop, cheap freezer centre, cheap foods, a pound shop, stationers, a butcher who sells his meat by the tray with no weights indicated, a book shop, JCP benefits office, the Police Station torched in the riots (still closed), the bus station (£1.80 minimum fare), café’s, the canal (where the two kids threw another kid into it last January), the new Tram stop, and the highly ignore pedestrian crossing.

 

1963:

Marsden’s Grocers (I worked there), Newspaper shop, sweet shop, shoe shop, Jewellery store, Woolworth’s, Elmo supermarket, Co-op grocers, pub, the butchers who sold the glorious beef dripping with jelly, Chip shop, Police Station (With Policemen), furniture shop, record shop, and a Cowheel, tripe, pie & jellied eel shop.

The sound of the market in 1963 were those of the barkers selling their wares and food, the bus conductors calling out to the passengers, the laughter of the children and their mothers telling them off, and the occasional sound of traffic. (The trolley buses made no noise other than that of their tyres)

Today, we heard the constant stream of bad language coming from the kids, while their mothers ignored them as they were using their mobile phones to shout down, and the sound of emergency services sirens seemed to be always in the air.

Never mind eh!

Inchcock Today: Wed 20th Aug 2014

 

19 8 001Evening Tuesday 19th

Tried to get some sleep in, I knew I felt drained and weary. But no such luck. Tried reading my book, I had no concentration though. Put a DVD in my little player, ‘Westworld…’ (Another one for the Charity shop) that did it, off I went.

Wednesday 20th August 2014

Woke up 0230hrs, full of dread and fear. Must have been dreaming again, but couldn’t recall anything about it. Drifted off again.

Sprung awake at 0430hrs. No chance of further sleep this morning I thought.

WC, okay.

19 8 001a

Inchcocks breakfast today

I remembered I’d got me Morrison’s order coming between 0630 – 0730hrs this morning, so reluctantly got up.

Laptop started, made a cuppa, grape-nut flakes and medications taken.

WC, okayish.

Started doing graphics and writing posts while awaiting Mr Morrison. 

There order came, (It was a Ms) and there was nothing substituted or missing.

Finished Inchy’s Beloved Grizelda Part 3 and posted it. Then did a new one from Patti Beckert’s site about the Mobility Scooters.

Got letter from DVLA telling me my Driving Licence that they took away from me after me heart operation was going out of date and I need to renew it?

Filled in form tellin’ em, and got a wash and change ready to take to post office and renew it then. See what happens.

Started on me walk into Sherwood about 1315hrs. Took camera, just in case owt should be suitable to photo like… yer know.

Called at the Haberdashery (there it is again, Haberdashery… I love that word) shop, and the lady sorted me a firmer cushion out, for £4.99, the last one in the shop bless her.

I then dropped into the post office and got the right stamp on me DVLA letter I sent back.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Whatta a sky!

Took a photo of the sky over Sherwood, cause it had some black clouds with sunshine bursting through some.

Then to the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop with some stuff.

I was walking back, and realised I’d not got me cushion with me!

I hobbled back to all the places I’d called in – but no signs of it – what a class one pillock I am!

I got back to the den about 1500hrs, a little miffed with myself about losing the cushion. Especially after the kind lady had looked so hard to get me one to suit.

Laptop on, made a cuppa and decided to have a potato and veg mix, with me last slice of cooked pork, and a small tin of garden peas for tea… supper whatever you call it later.

BT internet keeps fading out – well I never, who’d have believed that eh!