THE SUICIDAL TORY FUTURE
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Got bedded down last night, well, this morning at around 03:20hrs, and low & behold, 
was waiting, ready to start again. But I did get off eventually and had nearly three hours of bliss. I would have stayed in the ÂŁ300 second-hand shop purchased, c1966, welt-causing, uncomfortable, not-working, itch-inspirational, crumb-containing recliner for longer; Unfortunately, Dementia Doreen’s compatriot, 
, convinced me on waking, that it was Monday! So I thought I had a delivery coming between 7 & 8, and it was already 07:15hrs; a semi-panic-mode was engaged and I got up in a bit of a rush; Dizzy Dennis visited, lost balance, and I sat down again, with a foggy head.
Then I realised it was Sunday…
The Night Pouch
At first glance, I thought I’d been mysteriously passing spaghetti through Little Inchie and 
. Hehehe! Too dark a colour.
The legs look a little rough again.
No pains with them, yet.
Got some spuds in the crock pot.
Then felt the need for the 
.
Well, 
was done after three days. But of course 
meant a mess to clean up.
Waste Bags Sorted.
Carer Rahmat arrived. Did the issuing of the medications, eye drops, painkillers & Peptac were given. A little natter, which I appreciated. Took her BP and temperature. Very good, see above.
I felt so different again this morning. Plain weary, but the balance was much better. I got on with the mammoth job of catching up on yesterday’s blogging. Things started annoyingly…
Amazingly, I changed the Wi-Fi option and it came back! Very slow work this time. I feared I might even fall asleep in the computer chair. I must try to get some decent sleep in.
I was amazed again, at how the time flew by – it was the midday call already. The blog was making progress, slowly. Rahmat at last accepted a drink I offered a choice of. Bless her!
Got the blog posted at long last. And made a start on the Ode for today’s Inchy Today. I think it took me over three hours, and then later I found spelling mistakes in it. 
, I think my concentration was getting far worse the more tired I got. 
Still, could be worse… couldn’t it?
Still struggling with the editing, and I forgot all about taking any photos until early evening. I’d been nibbling; in fact, I ate all of the remaining Le Petit bikkies!
A banana, a choc ice, an orange ice lolly, and as of now 19:10hrs, I’ve not made or wanted a mug of Glengettie?
This is singularly worrying. It’s never happened before? Could it be the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodaemons, apparitions, and other grotesqueries that haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchie to curse with bad luck, create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare, worry and confuse me!Â
Very peculiar situation. Not only not drinking tea, but failing to take photos of the clouds for my pareidoliaing!
I took a snap of the afternoon sky and grabbed another orange lolly from the freezer. Hahaha!
Bootiful!
Continued with the blog for several slow-moving hours, and went to take photographs of the later evening. I was struggling then 
and 
were making it difficult for me to control the camera and use the selection buttons, but I had to give up.
Carer Benjamin arrived. I hadn’t heard him, cause even if I had hearing aids in, I couldn’t hear the dooorchime when in the kitchen or wetroom. He was right behind me and made me jump a smidge. Which brought a much-needed smile. He’d been standing there a while and noticed how I was struggling with the Kodak. He whipped out his mobile phone and took these photos for me, bless his cotton socks.
Then a closer shot of the houses.
That was kind of Benjamin.
So I took a snap of the lad.
Offered a cold drinkie in thanks, and he got the medications sorted. Then the eye drops were put in. He’s a clever lad, and noticed the shaking in my… well, all over really. Hehehe!
He’ll be back, just like Arnie, later for the Catheter night bag fitting. After Benjamin departed, I got on with updating this blog, to here. But mental fatigue, mistake-making and lack of sleep made me stop. I hope I’ll be back later too.
Took this shot of the attractive early-night clouds.
Did some more blogging catch-up, and then Carer Benjamin returned for his last visit. During which, he took this shot with the Kodak, of the scratches & bruises on the left leg 0 which must have been acquired, Thursday, on the last of the 
falls, I’d not noticed, but sharp-eyed Benjamin did.
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He also noticed that the leg was swelling up, compared to the state of the right one. One battered body, one distorted brain,
hearing problems, seeing problems, money running out at a fast rate, 
, 
problems; 
bleeding at the point of entry of the catheter tube. 
is visiting much more often lately, and the previously nocturnal only , is now apparently on a new 24/7 roster. My 
are scarily getting more frequent… the mind seems to just lose blocks of time altogether, and forever. None have ever come back to me, and those hours or minutes remain a mystery? Maybe this 
is making things worse?
Just thought I’d mention them. To help whippersnappers who just may read this, to know what they can expect. So, keep on with the cannabis; it helps. (Guilt developing!)
I bedded down in the second-hand, ÂŁ300, c1968, overwhelmingly sickening beige coloured, tatty, uncomfortable, wobbly, germ-producing, falling to pieces, food residue collecting recliner. But refused to let me sleep, even gave me a few sharp awakenings. I got up a few times, and wobblingly carried and 
to the kitchen to take some photos of the night skies
Sunset, taken earlier.
Blissful!
Later it looked like I had a monster on the horison.
A long time later, the monster was still there?
Back to try to sleep again, and I realised how little had been passed urine-wise, into the night pouch.
Took a photo with the flash on…
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A perfect colour though. Bet it will have darkened by morning.
Not sure when I managed to get to sleep. But recall that had me wakened twice, all the other jerking-awakes were due to 
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May Your Fortunes and Festivities Ferment with Good Food too!
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Carer’s keep up with it I don’t know. I’ve written down the roster needed: AM on waking up: 
Blepharitis Gel, left eye only. Five minutes later, the 
4-Times a day. 
drops, for times a day, to be inserted by the Carers. The gel is AM & PM only. Then 
, this is to be applied by me, four times a day. The Dry Eye pads are to be used three times a day, applied by me. Instruction was supplied on how to do this properly. The Blepharitis liquid is applied on a pad and can be used morning and evening ‘If required’
as I was doing the pad cleansing job, 
had a go at me, and I caught the eye again! Then it got such a nuisance, that I had to abandon the blogging 
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Nocturnal Urinationings
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Tons of No-Butter Butter on milk roll slices.
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Lighter than it was, I used the flash in error
A smidgeon of rain again last night.
Front car park – made a mess of this one. 
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Kitchen window shot to the right.
The kitchen window shot to the left.
A later through-the-balcony shot.
CorelDrawing, Odeing, then blogging for four or five hours.
Mug of Thompson Punjana tea…
and a pot noodle!
Shave, shower, nasal spraying, teggies, Germolene, Germoloid, Corticoid creaming of 
, Eye drops, and 
. Pain Gelling of 
, 
, and medicating the tube that is stuck in Little Inchy’s protuberance. (I cringed when I wrote that, you know!) Then when dried off with the towel, that came back from the laundry still damp earlier, Sprinkle some aftershave to stop the inevitable cuts and nicks I’ll get shaving. A splash-over with the Brut, eye-drops… Oh, I may use the 
I’m back – it didn’t go very wel
!
occurred; I head-butted the shower power box. Getting a tiny little scar for the cut that I accrued. Tsk!
I did the medicationalisationing without any further injuries being suffered!
. Getting the Depend Protection pants on, I had a wobble getting the left leg into them. And 
against the floor cabinet corner… but remained on my feet! 
Murky?
As I began preparing the late nosh…
Prettily presented plate of provender…
Carer Richard arrived to sort me out. Although, at the time, I recall only wanting to get back to my precious, in short-supply sleep. Hehe!
It dawned on my 
Ah, well!
was no longer interested in letting me get back to my much-needed sleep. Humph! I nearly reached a state of stupefaction a few times, but on every occasion this happened, I’d burst awake with jolting, jarring, buffeting, twitch, tremor, juddering, judder! So, I cursed a little and gave up any idea of getting any sleep. And turned on the TV.
To find that replay football matches were on the channel.
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. This caused a certain amount of pull on poor Little 
, via the inserted catheter tube that tried to do a runner. Obviously, a man of my calibre winced-not at the agony. I can 
haste. And there I sat, with the crossword book for ages.
Nothing other than large doses of wind were evacuated.
Hehehe!
The urine in the day bag was the darkest it’s been for a while.
To the kitchen and I took these terrible photos…
of the heavy rain.
Sizeable, cause it wasn’t raining much yesterday.
I later regretted having one of the two allowed so early.
. It might upset him if he knows.
Just after I took this later view of the oddly shaded sky.
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Fancy that!
As I was leaning forward to take a closer look at some mail she had gathered from the letter box – How can I put it? The catheter tube seemed to twist of its own accord! A little blood was found when I inspected things in the lower regions. I went off to the wet room and got things cleaned up. No idea how it happened? And this caused me to get confused with so many visitors, and my concentration bit the dust for a while.
Before
the rain returned, the sky was wonderful.
The Citrus Way car park.
Photoed it when â…”rds of the way through eating it, and Carer Chris called on me. I was just about to watch ‘Heartbeat’ as well on the goggle-box.
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chime rang out and in rushed Chris. He almost forgot to put the night pouch on, but amazingly I remembered to ask him. Off like a shot the lad perused his other duties, I told him to take a treat-can or bottle with him.
!!! I suddenly feared that I had left the washing in the sink with the hot water tap running – and found that I had!
No hot water for a late-night shave! I was going to have one cause I couldn’t get to sleep!
Bootiful!
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… 
The Carer told me was graded as a ‘Four’ on the NHS colour scale.
A 2.5 or 3, methinks.
Took this from the bottom of the kitchen window.
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Can you see the same in the above snap?
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As per usual, hauling the water into the non-working W.C.
kicked off, and is still giving
At last, communication from DHL regarding the order not arriving.
Aha, the sun beginning its descent, got through some clouds.
Getting pretty now…
Moved to take a photo from another angle.
I took… (Well, thought I did) a photo of the meal I’d made.
The same thing happened when I (though I did) took a photo of the urine colour. Then the finger bleeding. Then one of the fallen-over stacks of waste bags and mess it made on the kitchen floor.
. Another way of passing the blame there? Hehe!
for me. Think we had a natter about something, sure I enjoyed it, but, what is was about is just another of the mysteries of the Woodthorpe Court, with the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodaemonic apparitions, and other grotesqueries that haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchie; to curse with bad luck, create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare. worry and confuse me! 
I did some pareidoliaising. Islands, countries on a black sea?
But it didn’t come out well.
Had lost interest again. I kept putting the TV on and off, hoping that my semi-successful trick would nod me off during the commercial breaks. I did slip off a few times, but only for minutes at a time.
With a minute of settling in the grotty antique chair…
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was not too hopeful of finding my ‘taken-away-to-be-laundered clothing’. The chances, must be slim, but she did say she’d have another look around for me. 
Found my laundry.
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A bad day for the “Out-Of-It” spells.
Bloody heck! Well, in the pouch!.
Guess who burnt his already burned knuckle?
Carer Sam and Carollyne had been and gone.
. Where I spent the next hour or so in 
It was very nice.
Blimey, she was still giving it a go!
A decent nosh made. Nowt to get excited about
But the vegan ice cream for afters was brilliant!
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Blood in the night pouch.
Straight down on the bottom field
To the right, a smidgeon…
Then into the maze of houses opposite.
Oh, good colour this time on emptying.
I got my dressing gown on, emptied the part full 
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Food seasonings! Which were used later in the making of, well, potato & veg soup, I suppose. Then, I tried to catch the end of a film #I was watching when Amazon emailed me to lie about the delivery being done.
1978: Terrible acting, scenery, and special effects…
Flavour rating: 9.2/10.
Heckithump! Blood in the urine again!
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Great-coloured urine when I took the night bag off!
Made a brew of Glengettie.
Cor, the day pouch filled up quickly 
Emptied the pouch.
View of the fog from the computer chair.
At Lunchtime, I got the spuds on.
First, early morning shot, with only fog on view?
Two hours later, housed creeping through…
Car park…
Midday: Clearing now…
Mid-afternoon.
From a distance…
Zoomed in…
The bumfluff is beginning to itch!
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Then the Germoloids Ointment was applied to the rear-end quarters. After washing and drying the bum and legs as best, I could, with just one hand available to use… And I was feeling so ruddy tired and irritable! And had started 
off!
Arrived as I was masking a brew of tea. My only aim was to get my head down at long last. Jozeph removed the night pouch, gave me the medications, and we had a minute or two chatting. He checked the taps and stove and took the waste bag with him.
A bit tight…
Ah, you fool Inchie!
The urine looked nice and light yellow.
At around 11:15hrs, 
Arrived, woke me up and got the medications sorted.
and of all things, the danged 
returned to haunt and hurt me… as well as make any more sleep impossible.
Came in. We had a minute or two natters after he did the medications; he was in a rush, methinks. Nice to see him again. I asked how he was. Cause he was quieter than usual. His Diabetic insulin level was all over the place. I hope it levels for him soon.
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