Inchcock Today – Saturday 19th August 2017: By the end of the day, Porcelain Throne Activities were Rampant. Oh dear!

Saturday 19th August 2017

Belarusian: Суботу 19 жніўня 2017

0305hrs: Woke with the stomach rumbling, the head pounding and in need of the Porcelain Throne. I heaved my rhinocerotic body out of the £300 second-hand recliner and to the Throne. Dizzy Dennis and Hippy Hilda offering signs of their disapproval and displeasure en route.

Settled precariously on the loose fitting throne seat, and Reflux Roger joined in the ailment attacks, and stomach’s wamble grew worse. (This is not going to be a good-health day, I could tell. Humph!) The movement was messy, and Hippy Hilda did her best to prevent me from getting back up again afterwards. I was in a right pickle now. Still, Duodenal Donald, Anne Gyna and Hernia Harry were letting me off lightly, bless them.

Once I was up, things improved with Arthur Itis and Hippy Hilda. I had a wash and returned to the recliner to find multitudinous signs of naughty nocturnal nibbling activities. Oh dear! I set to removing the bowl, basin and spoon to the kitchen sink, and collected the crumbs from the chair and carpet.

Kettle on the boil I took the medications and did the Health Checks. Seemed alright, all but the weight, that was now the highest it has been in 70 years. At this point, bearing in mind the nibbling at night signs found, guilt and shame overcame me.

I really cannot recall any nibbling at all, and this concerned me a bit.

Had a wee-wee and titivated the kitchen a bit, then onto the computer to update yesterday’s diary and start this one-off.

Back to the Porcelain Throne. Hippy Hilda and Craig Cramps were easing off nicely, the rumbling innards were not, though, and Dizzy Dennis seemed to set in, not bad, but present in the background, if you see what I mean?

Emails checked. Got one from the surgery confirming next blood test for Tuesday 22nd August at 0905hrs. Brother-in-Law Pete sent this one for me to show: Good innit?

Did some WordPress reading, then on Facebook for a while.

Feeling a lot better now, Dizzy Dennis has scarpered and the Rumbling Rupert too. But the EQ tells me that Diarrhorea Dickie is brewing up something for me?

Made a mini pot of porridge and added some Golden Syrup, then realised as I ate it, that it already had some syrup in it – Eurgh, talk about sweet! Foolishly I still ate it. Expecting toothache or hyperactivity now. Haha!

Ablutions tended to, during which, a Porcelain Throne session took place, that confirmed my EQ’s thoughts. It was not really bad but tended to be of the texture as liked so much by Diarrhorea Dick’s attacks. The stomach continued to rumble, and real pains started across my bulging midriff. Oh dearie me!

Still, I thought it was not so urgent yet, as to stop my plans for a trip into town this morning. Shaved, teggies done, showered, creams and lotions applied, and off I went to the bus stop.

An entirely uncommunicative female and male Tenant sat on the bench as I arrived. “I spouted out a “Good Morning each, how you this beautiful morning?” All I got back was a couple of looks that said; “Who are you?”. However, this did not bother me much, for I felt a little remuant in myself, and had they answered, I might not have got much out of any ensuing conversation.

I moved away from where they were and took this photograph on the grass verge behind the bench.

The bus soon arrived, and thankfully it was the lovely lady driver who always has a quick comment to make. So I handed her a caramel chocolate bar nibble as I got on. This only served to the other two residents to curl their lips and whisper something to each other, as they threw their heads back in disgust at me? Not a good start to my trip.

As the vehicle arrived in town on Lower Parliament Street, I took this shot of the skyline, showing the various blocks of flats that have been built recently.

Each one was dedicated to students at the many universities in Nottingham. While in the forefront was the closed down premises of a garage, Stationers, an amusement arcade and printers.

I dropped off and called in the big Wilko store to have a look at their Air-Fryers. They had four on display, but I could not decide if anyone of the two small enough for my worktop, would suit my needs. Had a wander around and bought nothing, left and walked up Clumber Street, somehow not getting bumped into. Hehe!

To the end and right down Long Row at the side of the Council House, then into the Slab Square with it’s Nottingham Beach and expensive amusement stalls and rides.

There was a few folk on the beach, despite the threatening sky and lack of bright sunshine.

Although it was not cold by any means, and the dim sun did keep popping out now and then. I noticed how kind it was in coming out each time I got the camera in use, too.

I walked to the other end of the square and saw this dog with its owner. The dog was very interested in the water of the fountain, but notwithstanding the man’s encouragement, would not venture under the spray.

I popped into the newspaper shop to get a TV magazine. Why I bother, I don’t know. Because it is as sure as Tony Blair is a philargyrist, I am going to fall asleep watching the TV or DVD every single time!

Still, I suppose it’s interesting to know at least which programme that I nodded-off-to watching? Hehehe!

I had a hobble down Goose Gate to the Chinese Store where I get the seaweed in jelly sheets from. The store at the bottom right of this photograph. More Student flats in the distance.

Got a bottle of Healthy Soy Sauce, Dark Soy Sauce, Roasted Seaweed x3 and some Chestnuts. I really wish I’d got more of the Chestnuts now.

Roasted in the shells, they were gorgeous. Smaller but so very much tastier than the French ones.

I walked or rather limped (The plates were stinging again now, Tsk!) up to the Victoria Shopping Centre (Mall).

Had a walk through and out at the other end and got a packet of pencils en route.

The traffic was very light, just as well, because the traffic lights were still out on Upper Parliament Street, temporary ones still in use while they complete the gas pipe works. Although, being a Saturday, they were not working on them.

Being Saturday, there were very few L9 buses running, and it was two hours until the last one would arrive in town. So, I caught a number 40 bus to get home on. It doesn’t stop at the flats but on Winchester Hill. Right on a steep bend. I’m always careful crossing over the road there.

The only other option is to walk back up the steep hill 500 yards to where one can see the vehicles coming, or 500 yards down the hill for the same, and walk across the road and back up to the flats. Does that make sense?

The sky lightened again as I got safely across the road and walked down towards Chestnut Walk and home… boy, I was ready for home too! The Porcelain Throne was needed, and it was a bit risky as to whether I’d make it in time… and there was no way I would have been able to prevent any leakage as I knew things were liquified if you understand me? Oh, heck!

I made it to the Throne in time. Had to have a clean-up after the evacuation. Tsk!

Seems I made it time for two reasons. The Porcelain needs and I just missed the rain starting too.

I got the belly-pork in the oven and curried beans in the saucepan. Then, back to the Porcelain Throne. Things were loosening as you might say, The pains in the guts returned, and I had to release things. The wet room and I needed cleaning afterwards. The feeling that things were going to get worse lingered. However, a few minutes after exiting the room and going into the kitchen, the pains abated, and I foolishly thought; “Hello, it’s not too bad at all now!” Huh!

Got the meal prepared and had some chestnuts with it.

It was delicious, the highest rated this year, so much did I enjoy it. 9.45/10!

Did the Health Checks, took the medications and was feeling so much better now. (I regret writing this).

Got the TV on and fell asleep in no time.

Woke up with the stomach pains and in need of Porcelain Throne usuage. So to say this, but I didn’t make it in time. (Shame and embarrassment persued).

After much cleaning up, I had to dig out a pair of the Protection Pants and get them on, I did not want another episode like this happening.

Over the next few hours I was getting fatigued. I would not let myself fall asleep for fear of a repeat performance. Eventually I did nod off.

Two hours or so later, and luckily too – the stabbing pains in the stomach woke me, they acted as a warning so I could get to the Porcelain Throne in time, this time.

Wearily I got back into the £300 second-hand recliner and settled.

Nervously.