I lay there, passing wind in the dawnlight,
And fell out of the chair, t’was a terrible sight,
Bruised and bloodied, getting back up was a fight,
Reached for wind-up torchlight,
Cathy Cartilage was stinging a mite,
The patella painful and tight,
I struggled up on my feet, alright.
Bet I’ll still be in pain, tonight,
My face and skin looked ghostly white,
Go on WordPress, well I might!
Make some Chilli-Con-Carnie? Today’s highlight?
I must be careful of the Kryptonite,
Not get excited, too keen or uptight,
Ah, the eye haemorrhaging, is a blight,
I’ll soak the knee in the bowl, it’s bakelite,
I’ve got food arriving, this Thursday night,
Glengettie tea, onions, and Marmite,
Morrison’s might substitute things with dynamite,
Protection Pants, olive oil, well, they might?
This ode, I know is crap, and I feel contrite,
I’ll get summat to eat… Ah, I’ll have deviled eggs and Vegemite?
Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit