Inchie’s Lockdown Escape Advice (To four holiday locations in a day) Oh, Yes!

Can one cope with the lockdown, and still get vacationing done?

The piccies and odes below, show how Inchcock managed this fete, feet, feat!

I started my wondering, my holiday,

The junk room I was in, so I did stay,

Watched video, although no BluRay,

I viewed episodes, of Red Dwarf and Stingray,

Had nibble of yoghourt, strawberry,

By gum it was nice, to escape as they say!

My next vacation, to the kitchen, it was untidy,

Washed my socks and blue beret,

I was content, not uptight or snidey,

In fact, I was moving well, not torpidly,

I was relaxed, my mind working unhurriedly,

So I left the messy scullery,

Then went on a tour of the balcony!

The windows let in the ice-like rain,

Leaving me wet, cold and  unhappy again,

Although stubbing my toe was a pain,

But this trip out wasn’t mundane,

The bleeding left me with a bloodstain,

My slippers’ll have to be cleaned again,

But my sense of humour I did retain,

Porcelain Throne, needed, that I must not retain,

I hope it passes easily and is not a painful strain!

My most used and popular room of them all,

A place where I’ve had many a fall,

Accifaupas, Whoopsiedangleplops I have in there,

Well above my fair-share,

The wet room, always something to hurt, scare or enthral

Good stuff too, to be fair,

Sometimes on the Throne, I see passings in freefall,

Others, with blockages, nothing moves, at all,

Yes, the seat seems to get heavy wear,

At times in there, there’s little fresh air,

Bleach & disinfectant I do share,

It’s a losing battle, but do I care?

Sometimes, I think I must be bilingual,

Frustrated, my language can be, erm… individual,

Naughty words used, I do declare,

When the flush doesn’t work, despair!

No wonder I’ve got no hair!

Then there’s the Sock-Glide in there,

Gives me many a nightmare,

It nips, pinches finger-ends, traps your finger hair,

Blood flows using it’s unfair,

It drives me, nearly nuclear…

””””””””””””

I had planned to visit the ground floor,

But the situation down there was desperate for sure,

Trying to find a way out, I stubbed my toe,

Perhaps later, I’ll give it another go?

Still, I mustn’t complain, though!

Written on the spur of the moment, I apologise!

Institutionalised Inchies Diary – Monday 1st February 2021

Our TFZer Angel, Gladys

Monday 1st February 2021

Maori: Mane 1st Pepuere 2021

02:35hrs: Yet another night of broken sleep patterns. Shame that! Still, needing a wee-wee, and the Vampire Nurse being due to remove my blood early today, I had to rise from the £300, second-hand, c1968, excrescent, horrendously-grungy, beige coloured, haemorrhoid-testing, unfit-for-use, recliner.

I caught my balance easily enough, and I made my way to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket), and painfully rid myself of about three eggcups full of wee-wee, with even more of the stubborn PMAD (Post-Micturition-After Dribbling) to cope with.

Relieving myself, I got a message from the EQ. It was not a clear one, but sort of mixed signals that didn’t warn me, but rather advised me to absorb what was coming along soon and analyse the situation and make a positive decision. Very vapid and vague, but that what was revealed to me?

I emptied and cleaned the overnight bucket, and hobbled to the kitchen, with Cartilage Cathy’s knee giving way a couple of times en route. I tried to link this with the EQ message, but am sure not connected.

I took the hanging to dry green quilt down from the coat hanger on the rail above the sink. And laid it on the server-trolley, in such a position, that the damp parts, top and bottom, were nearest the wall heater. Cunning eh? I’m mastering this, you know!

I did the Health Checks, starting with the dependable, trustworthy, Chinese manufactured Boot’s Sphygmomanometer.

The SYS had tumbled down to 145, the first time it’s been those low in many a month?

The made in Hong Kong, by the Chinese Harpin Xian Di company, and jolly reliable contactless battery-powered thermometer, looked close to turning into amber from green, showing the body-temperature of 37.2° Centigrade. 98.96° Fahrenheit.

An urgent summoning from the innards to the Porcelain Throne followed. So, I went to the wet room as instructed, without delay. Haha! A good job I did, too!

Only a bit nifty work in dropping everything and getting down on the seat saved an embarrassing situation from occurring! The evacuation started before I’d actually got my rear end settled! The PTDDSB (Porcelain-Throne-Daily-Domination-Stakes-Battle) was won hands down by Trotsky Terence this morning. Constipation Konrad was well beaten out of sight. And messy, it certainly was, the cleaning up afterwards took me ages. Made worse, by the cisterns inability to cope with the mass of the downloaded product.  The multiple refilling of the water tank, and my dropping the water jug, and more bending down to sort out the mess, surrounded by the pungent aroma, had me feeling rather drained, pained and mordacious! Tsk! Still, I didn’t mind. Ahem!

After being up for what felt like half a day, I finally got around to updating the Sunday (I do hate Sundays!) blog.

Blessedly, and amazingly, apart from Cartilage-Cathy (who did not affect the typing, only the concentration), and SSS Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley frequently attacking; the other ailments were in a good mood with me. Which meant I got the blog updated in an efficient time scale. Smug-Mode-Adopted, and Smirking with swaying-head, and Satisfied-Smile, that gave way to blooming great laugh, breaking out, too!)

I posted off the IT diary, emailed the link, and went on Facebooking updating. Then went on the WordPress Reader, and answered some comments. I was getting a smidge, worried, with things going so well? I even got the jobs done in time, so no need to rush the ablutions before the nurse was due to,

I had over an hour, to get the shaving-shower etc. done! I put the computer in sleep mode (I wish I could that with me), and off to the wet room.

The teeth cleaning proved no bother! The shaving, only four dropsies, and only two tiny nocks that hardly bled at all!

The showering, well, was brilliant! Only two dropsies, no dizzies, no tumbles, no hitting into anything, Grrreat! Drying off, only the one dropsies; that was the towel – but it did so several times. Hehe!

The medicationalisationing went fair, too! The legs looked a little blotchy, but I think that was due to the lighting in the wet room.

I got some handwashing done and hung above the kitchen sink.

Then, a surprise, a wee-wee. It had been ages since I had one. Not that I wanted to have one, but the changes in the wee-weeing habits seem to change several times a day. Just thought I’d mention it.

I got the waste bags sorted out and stacked up on the trolley-walker in the hallway, with a box of recyclables on the top of the pile.

It’s going to be interesting getting that to the waste room chute. (For interesting, you may consider using ‘risky’. Haha! My plan was to take the small bags to deposit in the waste funnel, the not take the glass and recycling boxes on down to the caretaker Robert’s bins. Next, to call on Ballerina Warden Deana, and ask her to arrange the Covid-19 inoculation for me. A plan…me? Having a plan! Scary!

The intercom rang forth and flashed, and the angelic-looking mask of the Haematology Nurse appeared on the intercom screen. I admitted her and went to get a shirt on quickly because I didn’t want to scare her by making her look at my lardaceous, protruding wobbly-belly. Fairs, fair!

A cheery soul she was, efficient too. She soon had the blood taken, filled the missed-medications form in for me as well. As she was leaving, they are always in a rush. (That or want to get away as fast as possible from me for fear of catching something, Hahahaha!) I asked if she had children a hone, and she said yes, so I gave a boy and girls facemask from the ones I’d bought, mistakenly thinking they were adult ones (Waste not, want not). I’ll find someone today to give the others to.

I got the walker-trolley out into the lift lobby, and down to the far end to the waste-chute room. It was a close call, but UI got there without losing or dropping anything.

Put the nine small bags down the funnel, and I took the empty box back to the flat, then down with the nibble bags, full recycling box, Covid-19 letter and the other two facemasks. I sound almost organised today, don’t I? As I say, worrying innit? Worse with EQ’s cryptic message for the day.

Down in the lift, and met Doris, we fought our way through the lobby that was being done-up. Out and to the bin, left the bag of recyclables, no sign of Robert. Then I carried on to the Winwood Court and the warden’s, Obergruppenfürheress Deana,
Reichs Inspekteuress Julie interrogation office.

I handed the bag to Deana and begged her for help with the vaccination paperwork, she told me to sit down in the lobby, while she sorts the dates and times our for me, bless her cotton socks.

Mary was in the lobby, we chatted, but neither of were sure what the other one was saying, made worse by the facemasks.

This reminded me, and I inquired if anyone had kiddywinks at home, but no. Deana came out and said she has got me an appointment for the Covid-Vaccine giving, at 11:10 hrs on Friday 12th February, and the follow-up one on Saturday 1st May at the same time. Both at the Djanology School on Gregory Road near the Forest ground. Which will mean four buses, two, each way, or a taxi both ways on those days, my heads in a daze… She had written the dates down for me to put in my calendar, bless her cotton socks.

I asked if the foot-lady was still open, Deana said no, so that’s the end of my Friday appointment then, Humph!

I thanked her, and as I got outside, I thought I’d take a photo of the note with the times. Just in case I lost it. Ahem!

I walked along Chestnut Way back to the flats.

I met Robert on the way, and I put the glass jars that I’d forgot to do earlier, in the green glass bin. He had kids at home, so I gave him the camouflage and pink children’s facemasks, back up to the flat.

First thing, I put the date and times of the vaccine appointments into the Google Calendar.

Then I got the photos uploaded to CorelDraw to resize and sort them.

I made a brew of Glengettie, and I took this photo on the right, of Chestnut Walk below the flats.

Back to the computer, and updated this blog for a few hours.

Then got the Wax Clearer kit out that was delivered yesterday.

The instructions were far to small to read. I did a search for my magnifying glass, after half an hour or so, I gave up.

I took a photo of the English Translated instructions.

Then also gave up on understanding them, and I got the old soft-screw one out and used that.

A couple more hours updating, and I was feeling shattered, so gave up trying to do any more on the computer.

I made a tasty brew, Glengettie of course, and took the evening medications. (I fact, I found in the morning that I hadn’t imbibed them, when I found the pot of tablets stuck in the folds of my blubbery stomach, Tsk!)

Too tired for owt to eat. Washed and settle in the c1968 recliner, stayed awake to watch Tales of the unexpected, and part of a Kitchen Nightmare episode, and Sweet Morpheus took over at last. Thank heavens for that!