Inchcock Today: Briefly with Political Ode

Maybe through the joys of ageing and dementia?
Gone are my days of romance and adventure,
Adventure is now trying a chilli-burger…
Pleasure is wee-weeing, not spraying my attire,
Porcelain Throneing can be a lot bloodier…
I can no longer do the Twist or Conger!
One time, I was known as a keen jogger…
Ageing and ailments, each can be a cruel bugger!?

Wednesday 26th January 2022

After a few hours of waking and drifting off again repeatedly, I rose gingerly, caught my balance, and sensed the warm damp feeling from the Protection Pants area. (Humph!) So, the first mission was to grab Metal Mickey and hobble to the wet room. Which I did.

The normal suffrage of pain getting things cleaned up and medicated. Little Inchies fungal lesion had bled well. But at least I caught it before the blood had dried and gone hard… it’s always agony getting the PP’s off and reopening the lesion if that happens. So, despite the pain, I was moving toward a chirpy outlook on things. (Which in itself is a rarity, nowadays, but it was not to last for long!).

Had a wash and shave, did the teggies, and got dressed. I’ve got a food delivery coming today… I think, from Ocado. It came shortly but had not supplied the veg that Sister Jane wanted, “Humph”.

WHOOPSIEDANGLEPLOP: Into the kitchen… to find I’d left the oven on and the cold water tap running last night! The self-loathing and foul language instantly began with a venom that surprised me. So I hate myself that much? Well, yes, I suppose I do? Or maybe not… It’s just Vascular Dementia-Doris that causes these problems that I really hate!

However, a couple of slices of luck did ease my self-denunciatory outbursts somewhat. At least it was the cold water tap, and there was no plug left in the sink, so no flooding! And there was no food in the oven to burn. So really, it was like a Semi-Whoopsiedangleplop? (I smiled writing that!)

Working on the blog. Carer Richard arrived. I did the BP checks, and Richard recorded them as the new instructions for the next three days. A great result, miles lower than yesterday.

Then the food… Hahaha!

Got the bags into the kitchen.

As you may know, I got some ridiculously overpriced Kenyan podded peas, a weakness of mine. Part baked cobs. Desserts and M&S mini potatoes. (I had some later, these were totally tasteless!) Cornish pasties, yellow and Natoora black tomatoes (Delicious!) Also, a new M&S product, Marmite rings

The meaty, tasty Natoora Tomatoes!

The bank-manager-upsetting Marmite Dinky Cheese Wheels from Marks & Spencers. The whole packet weighed only about 4 ounces!

Potato Rosti Cakes, I’ve not had these for years. Due to not being able to get into the M&S store basement food hall nowadays, so looking forward to trying these later in the week.

Snapped the end car park situation. The small red car was in Red Van’s parking spot in the hatched no parking zone. The red van is still in the proper parking area. It seems residents have decided to ignore the yellow lines altogether.

☎ I got a call from QMC (Queens Medical Centre), Ophthalmology Department. The lovely lady asked me if I could get in on Sunday, for my first consultation meeting with an Optometrist, regarding the Cataract operations. Blimey, this was a quick appointment, I thought!

Then when she said with it being on a Sunday (Next), the realisation dawned on me, as she said there would not be any transport provided for me. Getting a taxi with the three-wheeled walker was not practical. And the buses were scarcer on Sundays and weekends. She said okay when I explained my having Vascular Dementia and not being very mobile. She would inform them and make another appointment, but this may take a while. She’ll arrange a lift for me.

Two weeks since my referral. So I imagine I’ll go back to the end of the queue again now? Which is a smidge deflating. But, fingers crossed. 🤞

Even when, or if, the Cataracts are ever done, then the Glaucoma and Saccades need doing. Hopefully, the glaucoma treatment will involve only eye drops?

If I live long enough, it will be more challenging than ever every morning, then: The new eye drops, ear drops three times a day already and rubbing in the Phorpain gel into Arthur Itis knees, and Back-Pain Brenda twice a day minimum. Little Inchies fungal lesion medicationing, nasal sprays… Not to mention all the medications that the Carers may or may not arrive to issue me with. Or the BP taking and recording, temperature, pulse… Humph! Oh, dearie me! Haha!

Wrote during a moment of inspirationing!

Still, that’s enough of the good things…
For life is full of political hornswogglings…
Lies, deceit, and human trafficking!
Politicians, fiddling and grovelling…
Respect, empathy and compassion annulling,
Violence, hatred, mugging, knifing and brawling…
Life has become scary, frightening and appalling!

Politicians deceit, egotism, conceitedness and backpedalling,
Back-handed best friends, particularly Dominic Cummings!
With his pathetic excuses, lies and manoeuvrings…
His utter contempt, for the populace, the human beings…
Government full of fan-dangling, flannelling and fumbling!
Faltering, fearmongering, with self-profiting festering!

The voters ignored, workers let down, shortchanging!
They are good at covering-up disinformation orchestrating…
Duplicitous fibbing, cheating enshrouding, and suppressing,
Will they ever become open and honest? No, that’s dreaming!
You’d have more chance of murderer hanging, reinstating!
We will never see political honestly and reliability purging…
Could you imagine the truth of Cummings divulging?
For too long now, MPs morality has been haemorrhaging!

Then, there’s the Royal Let-Down!

He is loathed, detested, his actions despised…
Acting snotty about it, not very wise, he’s execrated,
It’s time the pompous, imperious brat was excoriated!
And the truth declared after it’s been traced!

He’s seeking a US jury trial, which may take a while,
He’ll not be treated as any rank and file…
The thought of special treatment brings up my bile…
I’m not saying he’s an ephebophile or paedophile…
But getting to the truth would be worthwhile,
Acting superior is inbred with Andrew; he’s no style…
Will we ever get to the truth – or am I being puerile?

Please enjoy,
Lightheartedly,
Some fiddledeedee…
Thrown in by me…
Can’t help it, you see…
I’ll have to flee,
Time for a wee-wee…
Then a mug of Glengettie tea!

Part of the Inchcock’s make them Laugh: In Ode Series