Inchy’s Odes: An mix of old, new, bad, indifferent

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Insanity is coming along much quicker,
Bus rides are getting bumpier…
Medications getting costlier,
They now charge for a courier,
It all helps to make me crankier,
 Depressed, sour and crabbier,
The internet is ever crappier,
My midriff is a lot chunkier!
My mental resistance is crumblier,
All women I see are curvier…
Can’t expect life to get any cushier,
WC evacuations are mushier…
I’ll never again be a wee-weer!
Oddly, I’m feeling gloomier,
Yet life is actually funnier!
Remembering things are now foggier,
I forget my papules are itchier, 
My piles & fungal lesions are bloodier…
But, now I’m not such a worrier!
Forgetting that I’m going loonier!
Not bothered about getting scruffier,
On my feet, I’m getting unsteadier, 
I may well be a crap Odester,
I’ve got tins of Golonkowa….
And some self-raising flour,
The doctor said I’ve got gastrectasia!
And my mind developed ecdemomania,
Forgot what they are now, but I’ll endure…
With eyesight & hearing so poor,
But I’m not bothered, that’s for sure…
Did I tell you of my knee fracture?
Or the catheter bag puncture?

2 mugs of tea a day, said my doctor!
I had three of Glengettie, lovely flavour!
A lousy life, death I will savour!

Probably bleed to death, using the razor?
I’m cheerfuller now, well, not so dour…
No time for sulking, or sorrow…
Someone’s calling to unblock the sewer,
My moments of gloom, get fewer!
I’ve never been an achiever…
Been a giver, not a receiver…
In some things, I’m a believer,
Well, I was, but what, I can’t remember…
I don’t regret my life being a schlocker…
I’ll just continue to panic & dither,
I know no other way, either!

TTFNski, Each! ♥

By Inchie

78 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Mechanical ticker valve, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Stephany, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis, FND, ... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Diabetes 2, Leg-Ulcer-Ulrich, Cartilage Chloe & Carole and am flat-bound. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!

2 comments

  1. Timothy Price – I specialize in daily art, documentary and promotional photography. If you have a special event such as a musical production, play, concert, etc. or have a product or fashion that you need photographed, or you are a performer, musician and artist in need of promotional photos please email me or call.
    Timothy Price says:

    You are an Odemeister.

    1. Inchy – Nottingham. UK. – 78 years of age, pretty ugly, short, bald, pot-bellied, in ill health. Decaying physically and morally. Mechanical ticker valve, Duodenal Donald, Saccades-Sandra, Arthur Itis, Hernia Henry, Hard of Hearing Hank, Bad eyesight Boris, Reflux Roger, Peripheral Neuropathy, Nerve Neurotransmitters Not-working Wendy, Bladder Cancer Chris, Stuttering Stephany, Haemorrhoid Harold, Shaking Shaun, Dizzy Dennis, FND, ... there are others, but I've tired myself out, now! Hehehe! Oh, then I had a stroke! Now awaiting Cataract & Glaucoma operations. Diabetes 2, Leg-Ulcer-Ulrich, Cartilage Chloe & Carole and am flat-bound. Tsk! Failures, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops are my Forte... Hehehe! I love making folk smile when I can. TTFNski!
      Inchie says:

      Bless yers… I wonder if the Tate might be interested? Haha!

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