Day: 5 June 2025

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Today is my annual 5-year medical check-up.
I hope she notices my barnacle…
No, I mean my carbuncle,
Will she look at things physical?
Show interest in my things mental,
Help me get sorted out dental?
Seizures, Dementia, my memory?
I got no help with Peripheral Neuropathy,
I was just told it’d get worse eventually,
She’s not mentioned it since 1993,
Cartilages, Arthur Itis in each knee,
Will there be help with the catheter?
Coprolalia? I’m cursing much more, sadly,
Glaucoma making things hard to see.
Meals get burnt, and much other new trouble.
Times & numbers are now easy to befuddle.
I’m tired out well before each crepuscle,
I find myself more gullible & coercible,
So many ailments, some seeming chimeral,
Readying things needs time & attention,
My operation cerebral, involving abscission,
Carer Joe is showing his altruism…
Deserving my admiration & appreciation,
His humour & help stop me from being anti-thalian,
That’s enough of this Ode’s aphorism!
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04:20hrs. Nocturnal pouch removed.
Computer on. Spent ages trying to get photos on, but no luck. Did the above graphics, which went on.
Photo card reader problems again. Couldn’t solve them. Annoyed, frustrated. Breathing became a smidge more of an effort. I did get some photos to go on, but not until Thursday morning (Now). Which means I am so far behind again. 
I finished and sent off the Tuesday blog. A good job I got up so early. Still had to prepare for the visit with Carer Joe to the Doctor.

Health Checks were done. Blood Oxygen level is still far too low. I must remember to mention this to the Doctor. (Not sure if I did).

Had a go at the crosswords while awaiting the evacuation movement to begin. It took a while to arrive and ages to complete the motion. No hearing aids in, but I still heard the clunk as the torpedo hit the water and the utter relief of it doing so.
What a pleasure that was! The medicationings went well.

Carer Ejaz arrived. Medications were issued, urine assessed, and as he departed with a “Tara”, I realised that I’d not asked him to replace the catheter day bag… Again! So self-annoying!

I checked and amended the list of things to mention to the Doctor. Then, I worked out what to wear for the trip. I risked putting on the trousers, which was interesting, as I struggled to keep my balance while getting them on. No socks. 
Unfortunately, I’d run out of clean long shirts to wear, hence, the trousers.

OCADO DELIVERY
I needed to rush a bit to put these foods away so I could check on the visit lists and ensure I wouldn’t miss anything. (Of course, I did all the same) But did take a few snaps. To give you an idea of my choice of foods for the week.
New drinkies.
Tomatoes.
Pickled mushroom. Bought
in bulk – On Special Offer!
Undoubtably, the tastiest cobs,
cheesy-topped ones. 🤎
Special Offer mini ice-cream suckers!

A rare cracking prolonged seizure!
Odd little, nearly recognisable memories floated about in my head. Something had happened or occurred that left me with a gut feeling representing embarrassment or shame?
So angry-making that I couldn’t get at it.

Carer Joe arrived as I was musing over matters after the giant seizure. It was amazing how quickly my head cleared. It usually takes me a lot longer to focus. Then again, I may have thought I’d clear my head but hadn’t? Life can get complicated.

Now, as I write this from memory, I have nothing on the pad for the trip. I believe I must have still been partly unaware of things.
From getting out of the door, using the stick only, and no walker, my memory is much better.
We went down in the lift, with Carer Joe carrying the laundry bag. Called into the laundry room, and Joe put it in a washer.
Then, out to the car, Joe helped me get in.
We were soon in Carrington, and Joe pulled into the surgery car park.
Joe helped me out of the car, and we went inside.
Logged in on the AI machine. And got seated in the waiting area. Within minutes, Dr Vindla came out with a big smiling welcome to greet me. She has a nice smile. We went into the surgery, and questions flowed in my direction. It was a darned good job that Carer Joe was with me. Even with my hearing aids in, I was struggling to hear what Dr Vinla was saying. Joe clarified most of what she asked me and supplied some answers himself. Those questions that I could not. I was to be referred to a Neurologist, but that doesn’t mean I will see one; it’s up to them.

This took me back to when I’d just been diagnosed as having Peripheral Neuropathy, then the stroke and was in the Care home recovering. Then the same thing happened; I was to be referred to a Neurologist, but that doesn’t mean I will see one; it’s up to them. I never heard anything more about it. That was back in 2018, and now, in 2025, I anticipate and expect the same thing will happen: nothing.

Joe drove us back to Woodthorpe Court prison… no, I mean Woodthorpe Court flats. Hehehe!
He then helped me out of the car, and we ventured into the Woodthorpe Court flats. Calling in the laundry room to move the washing into a drier. But Joe decided that, since there was so little washing, it came out a lot drier, and they decided to take it up with us and hang it to dry. Up in the lift, then the cell… no, flat, Haha!

Joe got the hangars and hung the dressing gowns up for me. I’ll have to handwash a nightshirt a day to keep up, as I’m out of clean ones. The Angel who usually does this handwashing for me did not turn up this week. Pound to a penny that she will have more problems and discomfort with her catheter again. Poor gal! I hope if this is the reason, she copes and can get it righted. 🤎

I seem to have lost memories of what happened then. I vaguely recall Joe leaving but nothing else. This would, I assume, just be caused by my bad at-the-time memory. Can’t remember any confusion caused by any seizures… but then I wouldn’t, would I?

Ejaz did the last call. Nocturnal bag fitted, and Peptac issued on request.

I loosely recall making the meal of the day. I cooked some potato nuggets; I think they were called. I’d also put this on the notepad reminder. Fresh peas were podded & added (My favourites!)! Some pickled beetroot was sliced (The cut finger was of no bother), and the last of the yellow and red mini salted tomatoes were great. A tasty, ready-cooked Polish sausage and cheesy-topped cobs rounded it of.
I remember I enjoyed this so much!

I fell asleep with the tray, food-emptied, of course, on my lap. Turning on the TV… at the fourth attempt, (Remember it is powered, after all, by the  Liberty-Global Oligarchs.) Then I drifted off within a minute, I think, into a deep bliss of sleep.
I woke up five hours later. The tray, dish, and crumbs on the floor, with titbits, including the knife, fork and spoon, spread over my body mass and onto the £300 second-hand shop-bought, 1966. moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly-beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not working recliner. Totally unbothered at the time and drifted off with Swett Morpheus yet again.
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TTFNski, & thanks to Carer Joe for his help!
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05:50hrs: I forced myself out of the bed.
Emptied the nocturnal pouch (6 on the NHS colour scale). I later noticed, after creating the graphic, that I’d put a 5½ on it. Tsk!
Off to the wet room.
Constipation Conrad had regained control of the evacuations. Still, it gave me a chance to catch up on the older crosswords that I had not yet completed, which is about 98% of them in that book. I did well, so I should have, too, the time I spent awaiting the torpedoes to evacuate.
The waste bags were sorted out.
I went to get the kettle on, and while making up (flavouring) a bottle of spring water, I noticed the tree copse looking even better, being blown about in the wind this morning. A deep green, beautiful.
I decided there and then… Yes, I gleaned a moment of determinationabilitly! I would try to get myself into the copse as soon as the first Carer has been and gone. I decided this would also be the topic for my Ode of the Day today.
Carer Ejaz arrived as I was making the water with flavourings. The lad had no socks to put on me, as my legs seemed so much easier this morning.
He played with the Hoover and issued the medications. I had a quick wash. I did not shave or put on fresh pants. As I got dressed, I began feeling almost excited at the prospect of getting into the tree copse again. 
After a lot of effort and struggle, as I was getting dressed and ready to go, I realised I could not get my shoes on. Because I can’t bend down to fasten them. So, I had to wear the toughest of the three pairs of slippers. They are often washed due to urinal leakages. I got a smidge nervous when it came to going out, and the dangers and risks involved came into my mind. I didn’t take the walker cause I knew that I would only get entangled in the undergrowth. I took the strongest of the wooden sticks with me.
I got as far as the corridor, and boy, did I get a wobble on! I’ve never instantly lost balance and got a Peripheral Pete leg dance at the same time before. 
Any thoughts as wonderful as how they felt a while ago of getting into the tree copse literally crumbled from my mind. Still, I did get as far as the flat door!
I got to sit down, and then I moved onto the bed.

I felt so much easier when I woke up. I got the feeling that it might be well into the afternoon, but it worked out that the sleep had lasted about two hours.
It’s been a long time since I last had a .
The aches and pains it left me with all came back to my memory. I’d missed these always unexpected, uncontrollable, painful one-legged tangos. I can’t remember when I last had one?

But talk about being lucky; it couldn’t have burst into life at a safer time as far I was concerned. Being in the hallway when a , ,  , Lose-Balance-Barbara or an Instant-Seizure visit always results in less physical harm for yours truly. It’s the precious walls being so close, within reach, you see.

As I dismounted from the bed, that little rest did me good, I think. Also, I was genuinely lucky to get away with such little physical harm.
I stretched the limbs Back-Pain-Brenda twinged the instant I got stood upright, but nothing too bad.
I’ll try to continue the tale with the Ode.
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Today, the tree copse was to be visited,
Had I got there, I’d have bragged & boasted!
Over plans to get there safely, I ruminated,
As I reached the front door, my plans were terminated
Unexpectedly, a P.H. leg dance instantly activated…
My dream, desire and plan were abrogated!
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I resisted going over, tumbling, but only momentarily,
Then I slid down the wall, but not abrasively,
And I got up by myself, most amazingly!
So I didn’t get to my copse to talk to any tree,
The very idea was a little over-adventurously,
I stripped and got into bed, you see.
Getting up again went painfully…
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No bleeding, no bruising, apparently,
A fair bit of pain from each knee,
Arthur Itis, and Cartilage Chloe,
I got away with no serious injury!
Well, that’s good enough for me!
Did I have good luck? Absolutely!
Did I break something fallingly?
I went into the hallway to see…
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Attempting to carry on with this blog,
Virgin Media is a dog!
The internet went down, and my brain needed an antifog
No TV, telephone, alert alarm, mind in a fog,
Can’t take anymore, I may have a grog,
I feel cheated, failed, the underdog,
I need a full-time Carer or watchdog,
The depths of bad luck can’t be unclogged,
This is more than being pettifogged,
From finding some faith, I’m now feeling hangdog,
Can this be my current epilogue?
In my youth, I scrumped the odd apple & goosegog,
Never drank champagne, port or had an eggnog,
Always easy-going, now spew like a cholagogue,
It’s been ages since I socially chinwagged,
Mentally and physically challenged,
My failures and bad luck cannot be camouflaged,
My speck of good luck has boomeranged,
My plans and hopes have both been besieged, 
My end is in sight, has to be acknowledged,
But fear not, for now, I’m well-aged,
At the same time, I’m well-advantaged
Looking back at life, I wonder how I managed…
Fears, torments, ever feeling cursed.
I’m the one that’s deselected or repulsed,
Gullible one, overcharged, not reimbursed,
I once got caught speeding as I reversed!
My brain & Doreen’s Dementia are juxtaposed,
Yet I know I’m cursed; it obviously showed,
I’ve been sacked, falsely accused…
Shot twice, was childhood abused.
Thrown in a canal, education abused,
My growing up was bypassed…
We were very lowly-working-classed,
These memories of events in my past,
All in the same boat, I didn’t feel like ballast,
No signs of greenery or need for compost,
Coal or coke fires, not hot water, doors not locked,
Rag & bone men, milkmen, & bakers flocked…
When the police came, the door was knocked,
Outside toilets with newspaper & candled,
A chain to pull, flushers were not handled,
In the sky, in the bins, the pigeons fluttered,
It cost a penny for a jar of Coleman’s mustard,
The politicians that pamphleteered,
Scraggy little children & babies pawed,
A free lift to the pawn shop was assured,
We’ll mend your roof, they pretended,
It was our Untermensch life that we defended,
Why? We worked, slept, and quarrelled,
From my school days, I never recovered,
I expected them to be regimented…
The teachers showed a determined inattention,
I can’t even recall getting any detention,
I got the cane or strap, which was not validated,
We called it the War Zone, our playground,
A place for me to get beaten & pummeled…
A flood is coming, they rumourmongered,
Off to school the next day I tottered,
The caretaker said, “Yer shunt ‘ave bothered.”
Now, of course, I’m older and wrinkled,
A lifetime spent being miniature pinkled,
Corrective measures were never actioned,
Failures, losses, repeatedly vapulated,
Disabled, neglected, feeling isolated,
They are things that I’ve overlooked,
Meals now are so often burnt, overcooked,
Little Inchie getting smaller; I know; I looked,
For my luck to change, I’ve prayed, cadged & begged
At the end light, you’ll see I lunged…
Determined not to be whinged!
Smilingly, off to hell’s fire and get singed.
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Saturday’s nosh. (I think)
Sunday’s Nosh. (I think)

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NIL DESPARADUM (CARER JOE SAID)
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