Saturday 27th August 2022: Diary Cartoon Ode

Political Cartoon of the Day
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05:00hrs: I stirred into mock life. As I moved my legs in preparation for getting to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee Bucket), and found that the ankles and lower legs were stinging away.
New veins coming through, two papules I’ve not noticed before as well. Still, once I rubbed in some of the pain gel and took a Codeine, things very soon started feeling much easier.
This first wee-wee was of the PSSU (Persistent, Short, Sharp, Uncomfortable) mode. In fact, every other one was up until about 17:00hrs. So no or to bother with like yesterday.
I got out the Boot’s Sphygmomanometer Blood Pressure machine. And took the pressure. I was well pleased with this set of figures again. one. SYS 135, DIA 68 and the pulse rate at 31 bpm.
The body temperature was down a little, but no worries.
Put the figures into the website and got this graph that I toyed with to decorate it with a CorelDraw-made graphic of yours truly. Hehehe!

Then I got carried away with making some tabs to use in this colour. Which is R 99 – Green 0 – Blue 75 on the RGB scale.
Took me far too long, but being a Saturday, one usually gets interrupted less often. I may regret saying that… just a feeling.

An hour or so later, it dawned on me that the morning care had not been yet. Or was it a new Carer that didn’t know about the door chime? Not long after, Samantha arrived, apologising for being a little late. Sam granted me a little chinwag this morning, but not a lot! Hehe!.

Later, I realised I’d taken a morning photo and not put it on the blog.
So here it is. I took it with the old Fuji camera; this is the size and shape I wanted to change the Lumix too. It’s just too baffling for me to understand. I went on the net and searched – followed the instructions, but nothing came up as they said it would. So I took this photo with the Fuji as well.
I can’t win very often, can I? Still, they came out alright for a 1975 4xA4 battery-powered camera. It’s the one that Carer Richard gave me. Bless him.

Got on with updating and posting the Friday blog off to WordPress.
Then had a look at what was available for some nosh. I think I’ve got an order coming tomorrow, Iceland.
The rather tough-looking bean-pastie and some potatoes left over from yesterday. A can of curried beans and a cob to heat in the oven.
Hello, I heard a noise in the hallway area – Dang dang, dang-dang!

Ah, it’s the DVD Quatermass Two DVD being delivered. A real oldie, now I can watch it while eating the meal.

What a mess I made of the simple job of opening the wrapping. I cut my finger on the edge of the plastic box, dropped the DVD, trod on it and felt the plastic splitting! The glasses fell off of the face bending down to retrieve them! What next, I thought? I’ll tell you… I rescued the DVD from the split shards of plastic. Cutting the same finger again! Down the nail this time. Variety is the spice of life?
Putting the disk into the ancient but still working DVD player, who interfered, but The DVD ended up on the floor, via The TV stand, swivel chair, bounced off and rolled along the floor underneath the Carers new table, went right back as far as it could, and settled!
I got the long picker-upperer and retrieved the absconder DVD. Will it be damaged? Will it work? I returned to attempt to get it into the player once again…
Stubbing my toe on the ottoman en route.

I then remembered the food in the saucepans and oven cooking! I hastened into the kitchenette to check on things. The potatoes were bubbling away, and the water had evaporated, so only half of the spuds were being cooked. I tried one, rock-hard on one side, soft as much on the other! The baked beans seemed to have faired better, not burnt yet.
I got the oven glove on, and I opened the oven door – standing back to avoid the extruding heat from hitting my face. But, there was no heat escaping! I’d not turned the oven on! So, no worries about having a burnt baked-bean pastie, then. Hehe!

Finally, I got the meal served up. I put the cheese pastie underneath the beans, a messy-to-eat meal, but it looked appetising enough to me. Even the potatoes appealed.
How wrong can a man be?
It was an absolute disaster! The potatoes were tasteless, lumpy even bitter tasting!
The curried beans were far too strongly flavoured. As for the cheese pastie, I don’t know what I did, but it tasted foul! Thought about it later; it may have been out of date? But I can’t read the sell and use-by-dates on much of the food I buy. to blame!
Flavour Rating: 2/10. Spit! I forgot all about the DVD to watch. I was concentrating on not being sick and the worryingly growing stomach pains. Haha!

I fell asleep, a deep sleep, and was woken up by the , Shannon I think her name was, waking me up from behind the recliner. I’ve no idea if she pressed the door chime; I heard nothing if she did. She soon had me sorted, and we managed a mini-natter. Took her choice of nibbles and or drinkies, and I went to the door with her to lock it.

I took these photos with the Lumix from the TV screen.

Then, decided to watch the Quatermass 2 DVD!
It was most similar to the TV series. Very few, if any, improvements to the script or plot were made. Another thing they did the same is they used Hillman Humber cars throughout.
Even a rare Super Humber Estate.
I loved watching the transport in London.
I think this wagon was a 1961 Dennis Pax flatbed. Of course, I could be wrong; I often am, very often. But I get used to this; it’s even worse nowadays with .
Sid James’ first appearance in the film. Going into a police station.
By gum, he looked young. Sid James was a bit like John Wayne; they both acted in the same way, more or less as themselves, not the character they were supposed to be playing. Which was okay with me. They both have distinctive personalities.

I took this snap of the kitchen view of the evening skies using the old Fuji camera. I still can’t get the Lumix to change photo shapes or sizes. Someone may read this (or not) and show mercy and help me sort the Lumix out.

Then onto finalising this post and getting it sent off to WordPress. This was not finished until 00:55hrs!

Thursday 25th august 2022 – Diary, Cartoons & Ode

Cartoon to start with a laugh!

I didn’t get up this morning because I was already up before midnight. Sweet Morpheus is not happy with me and is withholding his services. Hehe! The Swine! I spent a few hours finishing off the Wednesday blog and got it sent off.
Then the sphygmomanometerisationing had to be tackled. What happened with the Photographicalisationings I don’t know; the first one looks like a terribly bad effort! Well, it was! But, the BP results greatly improved over the last four days. Just look where the cross was placed this morning. ♫Way down♫ – as the Elvis song went! Hehe! I liked that later song of his. Poor Elvis, drugs and beefburgers got to him. Shame!

Right in the amber zone! I decorated the return graph in celebration of the miraculous drop in BP! I saw that the body temperature was way down, and it’s been so good lately. I can’t win them all!

Arrived A little earlier than usual. But the lad saw how tired and drained I was, straight away he picked up on it, and he asked what had happened. I told him about the no-sleep night. He proceeded to get the medications sorted, licked up his bag of treats, and said he was leaving early, so I could get back to bed to try again. So no nattering like yesterday, Tsk! Richard said as he left that he was going out for the day with his Sister, So that cheered me up a bit; he doesn’t get out much, good for him!

I got a landline call come in. It was a lady at the Riverside Centre about tomorrow’s Diabetes Defence lesson. The meeting has been cancelled because the room is not available. ? It’s been rearranged fro next Friday instead. I phoned ILC, Warden (Independent Living Coordinator), Oberstgrüppenführeress and Lap-Top Dancer Deana, and she kindly rang the taxi transport to let them know. ♥

I took this using the Lumix camera, as the Canon no longer lets me take photos. I don’t know what I altered or the wrong selections I made when I pressed the go button; I got a beep-beep-beep, and a red icon flashed. Then the camera turns itself off. I’m in a pickle now as the eyes get steadily worse every day, even using the spyglass. Which is not a good idea! Cause if Cataract Cathy doesn’t get me, PN Pete does, and I’ve already dropped the new-‘old’ Lumix at least three times!

Oh, I forgot the photo of the legs I took earlier. Not a pretty sight. But, then again, they’ve been worse, so they’ll do. At least they were not stinging or hurting much at all.

Made a start on this template at long last. And heard that off unrecognisable noise was back again. Sounds like it’s coming from above. It sounds like a motor running, whining. Still, it won’t stop my sleeping… Sweet Morpheus had done an excellent job of that already. Then, made up this Ode. It took a while.

Odes to Sweet Morpheus…

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Blimus! It’s nearly 17:00hrs – What happened to the day? I think maybe I fell asleep in the computer chair. I certainly hope I didn’t have another Mind-Blank. Oh, dearie me! The day’s done for me now. Weird or what?

I’ll get a meal made then. Humph! The evening Carer is due soon.
I took what I thought was a great photo of the meal on the serving tray. But, yet again this time on the Lumix, the photo is displayed on the viewer window. But in the morning when I got to put the pictures on the computer, this one and two others had disappeared into the either? All a part of the mysteries and enigmas of Woodthorpe Court! The ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions and other grotesqueries haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for me to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare, worry and baffle me!

Jozeph arrived. Mentioned that I looked shattered, and that cheered me up; Hehehe! He was right, of course. Jozeph sorted the medications and was soon off, kindly leaving me to get some sleep.
I stripped off and got the TV back on to watch a Heartbeat episode. As soon as I felt the eyelids drooping, I turned off the box. And blissfully sank into a welcome deep sleep, Ah!

Greatly annoying but unavoidable; over the next hour or so, I had to get up at least ten times for a wee-wee! Every one of them was of the SSSSAO (Short-Sharp-Sprinkly-Spraying-All-Over) variety. With varying degrees of PMAD (Post-Micturition-After Dribbling): so cleaning and sanitising were needed on most visits. I was getting somewhat agitated with all the interruptions. And hoped that things would settle soon in the bladder department soon.
After getting resettled in the second-hand, £300 charity shop bought, gungy beige coloured, rickety, c1968 recliner for about the tenth time, the wee-weeing suddenly stopped. Astounding!
GC sleepAI drifted off into a deep but dream-filled sleep. No specifics about the dreams… but I think I was enjoying them, though. Then…


I woke up due to the pain from Harold’s Haemorrhoids. As my bum hit the edges of the recliner as my body mass was slipping off the recliner!
I managed to stop the humungously overweight clump of a body from leaving the seat fully, But the rear end bleeding was soon apparent. So, up I struggled but made my way to the wet room for cleaning and medicationalisationing of poor Harold’s Haemorrhoids. During this, I did my best to remember the dream again. But no luck. I’d love to have known what I was doing in the sleep that was physical enough to have me out of the recliner? I got my lower rear region cleaned and medicated. Realising I’d lost any chance of getting back to sleep, I decided to stay up. Went to make a brew of Thompson Punjana tea and took this very strange time in the morning photo of the sky from the kitchenette window. Bootiful!

And I got the computer started. A lot of catching up and amending to get done this morning.

I woke up around 04:00hrs; Sat sitting on the computer chair, which is where I’d been sleeping! Ha!

LAST POLITICAL FUNNY

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Odeing & Mini Diary

That’s the Ode, folks!

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Photographicalisations were taken Friday & Saturday.

Sorry about this, but with all the struggling to see proper and sort them out, CorelDraw crashed twice, had to reload from disc, and I now have three SD cards, which in an effort to sort out, I’ve not the foggiest of which camera that came from, or went back into. So frustrating. I’ve got to get CorelDraw sorted out yet… if I can. After ten hours with all the delays, doing the ode and graphics, all I want to do is get something to eat and get my head down… Oh, the Carer’s due anytime now!

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The photos are a mess, not good and mixed chronologically. (Sounds painful that… Hehe) I’ve had all sorts of bother again. Nine hours of just making the Ode! CorelDraw has gone down twice, Virgin once. Word once. Computer once. And, after all that time getting the Odes done, I had to sort out CorelDraw to get it working again… blind try this, try that methodology used. And I’ve the new (old) Lumix camera to try to sort again. The SD cards… Well, I got confused about which camera they came from and which they went back into. But the pictures have to be put on here, not that they are exciting or even passable.

I’ve just about had enough. I think the diary will have to go and stick with Odeing, what do you think? With the eyes and Doreen, and my luck with anything like cameras and computers, it’s just taking all day, and I love doing it, but something has to go to save precious time. Anyway, here are the pictures, but from when… Mmm! Sorry. Some, like Fridays, I think, are the first ones. They are a sad collection; why am I bothering?

This is Carer Joseph. Who couldn’t help with the Lumix, Fuji or Canon (I think that’s had it) cameras, computer, or CorelDraw? Which, of course, is the same with very Carer, and indeed me too. Hahaha! Nice lad, Joseph, if only he’d take a course in Computers, cameras and… Haha!

Ah, Risotto, I got this out, and Carer Sam, with difficulty, read a wrote down the cooking instructions for mem Bless her. Ah, that was this morning! I’m sure it was. On the right, so,e extra mushroom I was cooking to go into the Risotto. Yes, I actually thought I’d get it cooked! That would be about twelve hours ago now.

No memory of taking this one?

Then again, I have a lot of lost memories. Make note, whippersnappers, this may happen to you if Doreen Dementia arrives in your later years. I think I made with graphic of the Lumix last night. I seem to recall making up a gritting sarcastic to self Ode to put on here with the photo. I’ve no idea what I did with it now. Well, apart from a few shots from the kitchenette window taken today, that’s yer lot!

I got the Fuji working again early this morning. Judging by the shape of the photos, I took some of these on it. The later ones, I think, were done on the Lumix; I was trying to use the Panasonic option, a foolish waste of time, my unsteadiness of the hands and fingers should have told me not to bother. But Doreen Dementia wasn’t having anything workable to happen to me, naturally! Here are the crap shots from throughout the day that I seem to have taken.

Morning?

Lumix Afternoon? Lumix Evening – Trying Panasonic – no-go!

Fed-up, going to get the Risotto made.

Disappointed with the Risotto

All that bother to get it right too! The note Samantha did for me did not say if the 600ml of water needed to be boiled before or after putting the contents of the packet in the saucepan.

I had a hell of a job translating it from the packet. I had to use the little circle on the magnifying glass but could only see one or two words at a time. Brought the pack to the computer, put the one or two words into the Google translator, back to the glass repeatedly. It took me ages, but the magic words were eventually showing; boiling water… stir continuously.

It turned out very bland. And I’d added the last few garden peas and extra mushrooms as well. Shan’t bother with that brand again.

T T F N

Local News Snippets for Nottingham


ODE TO THE PAROLE BOARD ZOMBIES

Forgive my hatred of the murderers on the Parole Board…
My confidence in them will never be restored,

Are they under the thumb of a drug or gang lord?
Are they permanently pissed, schnockered?
Cause freeing murderers all the time, I’m shocked!
Freeing to kill again, this should have been stopped.

Parole Board? More like a smorgasbord!
When they go on holiday, wherever their boat is moored…
I wouldn’t mind if they fall overboard in the fjord!

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Well, it must be at least one murder a day in Nottinghamshire this year,
Yet folk carry on as if they have no fear?
To me, this all seems odd and queer,
The world going ever crazier…
Chanced for man’s survival, is doubtfuller,
Going outdoors has never been dicier!
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Police Inspector: ““I am pleased we have now charged a suspect in connection with this offence and would like to thank all of the officers involved for their quick response and determination.” Why are they not normally responsive or determined, then? More police on the beat might have been a better option. Ah, the cost… I see! I’ll try to visit the lady in the hospital and explain it to her.
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The gentlemen arrested and victim, for that matter, seem to be a little old for these violent shenanigans. I’m looking forward to and hoping to find out what went on. Mind you, the police are as well.
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I rather hope it was not in an Easy Link bus; I use and pay them for lifts to the Diabetes Sessions. I’ll remember not to question any driver next time they say I can’t use my bus pass to get a reduction in price.
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Scumballs!
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Thought I’d just slip a bit of good news in here!
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This must sound attractive to anyone thinking of relocating to Nottinghamshire to live or enjoy a worry-free, peaceful retirement?

Well, at least he chose the dearest supermarket firm to rob. I suppose they have been robbing us, certainly me, with all their ridiculous increases in prices. Now they send me a Coupon – to save £30 on my next online shopping. But I’ll have to spend not the usual $40, but £80! to get it. Bearing in mind that there will be a delivery charge if you spend below…
So, if they have, and they always have any products unavailable, then the saving will not apply. Also, last week, the limit permitted to buy on some lines had: Spring water – One. Freshly sliced potatoes – One. Five unavailables, three substitutions. But it doesn’t bother me in the slightest!

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Did I read that sentence right?

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Wotta record!
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Don’t they look like a sweet set of men?

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Ode & Diary: Tuesday 16th August 2022 Cataract Investigation!

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04:10hrs: I stirred and awaited the brain to do the same. It took me a while. And not easy either, for the cragwrankling Thought Storms attacked the near dormant brain. 
I cringed when I realised they were off again. And did nothing… I just bided my time, doing my best to ignore them. I could have done with some men in white coats and some form of guidance councillor at that moment.
Half an hour or so later, the need for the Porcelain Throne rescued me from the clutches of the verbal put-downs. Despite their continuing to insult and malign me, the need to get to before anything started of its own accord if you see where I’m coming from.
Stubbing my toe en route was another benefit in clearing away the Thought Storm.
When I realised that things would be reluctant yet again, I grabbed the crossword book to take my mind off the thoughts. Which was a total failure, because my eyes are that bad now, I cannot see to read the clues any longer!
So, I concentrated my efforts on trying to force things along. I soon forgot all about the storming. As it happens, I also forgot all about using the porcelain Throne. The only thing that leaked out was a few droplets of blood. That’s comforting, knowing I’ve got to go through this agony and rigmarole again later.

I got the waste bags made up and placed them near the door. Returned to get the computer on and remembered the Ocado delivery was due shortly. So returned to the front door and moved the waste bags onto the three-wheel walker.
It’s been a bit of a bugger up to now. Humph!
Ah, something went right! The sphygmomanometerisationing revealed a rater super set of figures!
SYS 137, DIA 63, Pulse 81°f. Which brought the NHS check graph down into the Amber Zone. My b
ody temperature was all but spot on target, yet again, too! As I smiled to myself… I took a sharp intake of breath; and off to the wet room. Another false-alarm!
On both visits, and I was sitting down for ages each time, there was no wee-weeing. This has never happened before? So, I now have reluctant evacuations front and rear… Oh, dear! Four days ago, Trotsky Terence was in full charge, and Wee-Wee Willy was constantly flowing, often in torrents. I feel I need both bladder and bowels evacuating now…
What have I eaten that’s not my usual food? The only two things I can think of are that I bought tonic water due to the shortages last week in the heat wave of bottled water.

Ocado delivery arrived. Substituted bread and toilet rolls.
The bread I was not happy about. The lady said they had substituted Polish Sourbread with a ‘Plain’ loaf of sourdough. This is the ‘Plain’ Loaf. Malted Wheat, great lumps of something in it
. Grains, seeds, quinoa, and rock solid cost twice as much as the Polish one! Some like granite. More a sort of sliced house brick than a loaf of bread.
Then the recycled toilet rolls were subbed with ‘Plain’ TPs. Which were triple-layered and not plain nor recycled.
At the time, I took one out to have a look. Far too thick, like me.
I think you can see the squashed, crushed state of the Strawberry cakes in the link box.
The Milk Roll loaf, with (Richard pointed out later) one day’s life left on it!
Also, the mushroom pie was replaced with a Chestnut, mushroom, tomato, quinoa & baby onions topless pie.
Later, the ‘new’ vegan burgers that I later quinoa-filled, tasteless crap! Foul, .
The fridge was looking a bit healthier food-wise.

Arrived late on, and he’s had extra calls to make. Managed a little natter and laughed, but not much. He took the bags out for me when he departed.

I started updating the blog. Which went some like: ‘Wrong key’, misspelling, ‘Wrong key’, forgot the word, ‘The wrong key’, shakes hit tons of keys, ‘Wrong key’, the sight making things so slow, Wee-wee, ‘Wrong key’, ‘Wrong key’, ‘Wrong key’, Wee-wee, lost word, misspelling, ‘Wrong key’, ‘Wee-wee’,,,  and eventually IO had to give up for a break.

Made an order for Iceland for Friday for 08:00>10:00hrs delivery. Put it in the calendar.

Out of the blue, unexpectedly quickly, I felt so tired and drained. I just had to stop, and I had a sit down to unwind and hopefully get a bit of kip. My new Nokia N73 5G mobile phone chirped and flashed. It was Obergruppenfhüreress and Lap-Top Dancer Julie. To tell me that Carol, who is standing in for the frightening laundress lady Esther, who is on holiday for three weeks in Africa, will not be calling today, as she has to wait in for a plumber, can she come tomorrow instead. “No problem; I hope she gets it sorted”.

I got down in the recliner a fell asleep fast than I have for many a month, Fair enough, it was only for two very welcome hours, and I woke with a pang of hunger, so has a look at the food selection in stock.
The Biona Black bean Cashew burgers caught my eye. I decided to cook two of them and eat them both in between two slices of Milk Roll Loaf bread. Some raw garden peas and BBQ sauce for a dip!

Well pleased with my decision, I got the spy-glass out to read the cooking instructions.

Well, a lot of help they were. “Cook in a pan until they are brown!” They were brown now! The oven was already at 200°, so I put them in, and ten minutes later, they were burnt! Unless I’d had another mind-blank?
The burgers fell apart, and whatever seeds were hurtful to my teeth. They seemed well-cooked in such a short time and will not find room in my little flat again! Terrible Thought: I’ve got two more yet in the fridge... The peas were beautiful, the broken, crushed cake made a mess when I ate them, but they still tasted alright. 4/10 Flavour rating.

I found a letter in the postbox. It was a copy og information forwarded to my Doctor… Oh, what’s her name now… erm… I think she’s a she; I’ve not seen her for years. Good innit, Peripheral Neuropath, Duodenal ulcer, Anne Gyna, Reflux Roger, Cataracts Cathy, Saccades, Glaucoma Glenis, Dying Neurotransmitters Nigel, and Diabetes; I may have missed some off this list, so many ailments. And my Doctor has spoken to me on the phone three times in as many years! Twice at the surgery.
I’ll have to find the time to see what all the words mean in the letter. Such as Astigmatic, pinhole, Toric lens, viscote, & decompensation.

I’ve just been for another failed visit to the and saw how the flaming feet had blown up again. Huh, Gragknagles! They’re stinging a bit as well. This morning the water retention I thought was going down so well. The ankle ulcers are both calm, though. Underfoot is tender than ever.
I’ve been very good with cutting down the caffeine; I haven’t had a single mug of tea all day!
I noticed we’d had a bit of rain today.
Val arrived in a quiet mood. Got the meds done in record time. I asked her if she would like the Sourdough bread that was delivered this morning. She pondered and then said yes. Helped herself to several treats; she nearly filled the bag. Hehehe! Took the waste bag with her to the chute.

Produced a late-night mechanical concert for me. Finishing with a worthy thud.

I went into Sherlock Holmesian Mode: I put the computer back on and asked Mr Google: Why is mannitol given in cataract surgery?
Replied: Abstract. 100 ml of 20% Mannitol is given between 30 and 60 minutes prior to surgery, effectively lowering the intraocular pressure and increasing the anterior chamber depth. Ah, I expected as much.

What is Astigmatic vision? 

Astigmatism occurs when either the front surface of the eye (cornea) or the lens inside the eye has mismatched curves. Instead of having one curve like a round ball, the surface is egg-shaped. This causes blurred vision at all distances. You might have astigmatism in one or both eyes. It’s often accompanied by other refractive errors like myopia (nearsightedness). Myopia is caused by an eye shape that’s too long — if the eye is misshapen, chances are good the cornea is too. Well, that’s plain enough.

What is a Toric Lens?
Toric lens implants are one of the most popular technologies for cataract patients with astigmatism. They are designed to improve how well you see without eyeglasses in the distance, as compared to if you had a standard lens implant. Too tired for further concentrating. Glad I did some research into what the words meant. I’m much wiser now.

I got my head down in the second-hand, £300 charity shop-bought, gungy beige-coloured, rickety, c1968 recliner. At some time, I must have got up cause I found this moonshot in the morning. I can take better photos when I’m asleep, it seems. Hahaha!

A magnificent sleep! Six hours straight through! Unless I woke up to take the photo of the moon?

Evening all!

Inchcock Today: Thursday 11th August 2022. Diary & Odes

I can’t understand why my Odes have not yet made me famous in the rhyme and poet-master circles. All that effort, too!

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0605hrs: I rose with thanks for being allowed to get in five hours of undisturbed time with Sweet Morpheus. Passing wind belched and detached my weight-ladened stomached body from the c198 recliner, and off to the wet room, and the . Where I passed the first half-hour of waking. Trotsky Terence had been beaten into submission by Constipation Konrad.
Oh, the agony! I couldn’t even try to do the crossword this morning. (It can take one’s mind off of the suffering sometimes, but not today). Things eventually started moving… a little, then stopped! I counted the crack in the ceiling plaster… same as last time, 36. Now there’s a thought; How can not remember so many things but am almost certain I could remember a silly, pointless detail like that? Back to the pain coping… I had visions of the bloody mess I was going to find when… or if the evacuation is ever completed.
I started talking to the evacuation product (I know, daft as a brush!). My faith was failing. Then I started wot think of the most ridiculous things, like, why have I never been interested in lepidoptery? Who’d have believed I’d end up with Doreen Dementia? Me! The calm one, the organizer, the carer…
The torpedo started coming out, and it was beyond my powers to slow or stop[ it. The pain grew worse and fortuitously. so did the escapage rate, and the last three-quarters of the turd almost flew out with a sickening thud as it landed, blocking the porcelain! 
Ah, blessed relief! I thought it would never free itself. Now to check on any damage done in the procedure!
. After all, that grinding pain and the gigantic, gargantuan torpedo having been slowly, oh so slowly, forced through and out, Harold’s Haemorrhoids had barely been bleeding! A few thin streaks of the old haemoglobin on the toilet paper, that was all. There was even little stinging pain, either! How come? All a part of the mysteries of Winwood Heights, the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions and other grotesqueries haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchcock, to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare, worry and confuse me! I suppose!

I got the take, with confidence from somewhere, that the results would not be anywhere as near as scary as yesterday mornings. I just knew not to worry. My EQ, telling me?)
Fair enough, it was still high, but if I remember rightly, it was 36 points less than Tuesdays was.
The body temperature once again was as near to spot on that you wouldn’t notice the difference!

I lost a couple of hours of the morning altogether. I had been doing something as I found later I’d written things on the remember-pad, but it’s in double-Dutch! And the kettle was hot when I went in the kitchen, but I’d not made any tea? Thankfully, these Mind-Blanks don’t happen very often. But they do concern me and are on the list to ask the Doctor about. But can I get someone to call the surgery for me? No! The trouble is, I forget all about it minutes later, until the next instance.

Arrived in a bit of a rush, but he never rushes me, bless him. But it meant quick talking and my missing some comments. But the lad had had a word with Deana about the paperwork he took with him to study and left it with Deana. No point in me keeping it; I can’t read it. He said that Deana will try to call on me later. This is out of sequence, as many other comments will be, no doubt/ I got very Confusion Konrad this afternoon and evening. Deana called later to confirm the booking for the lift with Easy Link. 10:30hr pick-up, to be outside to be collected. Later on, a nice-sounding lady land-lined me to confirm as well. That was nice! ♥

The steam-train building Herbert from the flat above was in fine form all day. No long periods of disruption, I must say. Just the regular clumps and banging, metallic sounds intermingled with some mini-concertos of a tap-tapping nature. Oh, and a cappella: Without orchestral accompaniment.

I just came across this writing on the notepad from hours ago. Any help would be appreciated as to what the heck it was I was recording; thank you. The dashes are undecipherable words: “Delug— 90% temp —– — —- — hoen –stly, —- forced sa–ey. Temp—— 94!” I may find time to have another go at making something out of it. Tsk!

  Now, for the cock-up of the day! If they gave out medals for Mind-Blanks, Forgetting and Insanity, I’d be in line for a gold medal after this incident.
The intercom rang forth: Someone telling me that they had a delivery for me.
❶ But the release button, yet again, did not work to admit the chap. I tried a few times, then said I’ll come down to you.
I had to get some trousers and shoes on, checked the intercom and could see the man still there, and rushed a little too much, and clouted Shuddering-Should-Shirley on the door frame! Agony again!
❸ Got down to the foyer, but no signs of anyone there.
❹ I assumed he had gotten on while I was faffing about to get down to him… Rushing again, I got the walking stick entangled in the lift elevator door. I now have a split-handled wooden walking stick.
❺ Got up to find the man looking around and bags near the flat door.
The man departed, and I started to get the bags into the kitchen. Then it dawned on me when I saw the Co-op label on some foods – I don’t recall making a Co-op order at all. I’ve just had a Morrison one yesterday. And, a few days before that, an Iceland one? Mayhap I did this during my Mind Blank hours?
Well, it had all the things that I might have ordered on the order. I must have made it, stupidly, cause there was not a thing I didn’t already have in stock on this delivery!
I’d even bought some bonkers-costly Mushroom Risotto.
More flipping chips and potatoes, too! I’d even got some more bottles of spring and tonic water!

Just as I was calming down after giving myself a verbal blasting for being so stupid… the intercom burst into like again.
It was another delivery, Amazon. And the Doctor thinks I do not have Dementia ‘properly’? I hope she gets it right when I snuff it, and she has to decide if I’m properly dead or not! Hehehe!
Depression came over me.
The chap had delivered the Lemon Sherbets disinfectants.
No problem with this one. I remember ordering these. I think! No, I did, definitely. Positively. Oh, dearie me!.

The temperature outside reached 92°f.
I gathered together all of the paperwork and reminder notes and what leaflets and letters had come in over the last few days, with the intention of perusing them to see which needed any assistance to read and understand.
.Which didn’t take me long to work out. Cause Cataract Cathy and Dementia Doreen made sure all of them needed some help. Some needed telephone calls; well, Deafness Duncan takes care of that.

Kicked off again. Tap-tapping, morse-code like this time. The stuck-up, toffee-nosed, self-important gentleman varied it for a minute or two; he decorated the tune with some clung-thuds. Kind of him. Ah, tap-tapping is back now.

Getting late now. Aha, ♫ Oh, Susan ♫ just sounded. It was evening who’d arrived. He seemed a smidgeon low to me. I might be wrong. I tried the jokes, my world-famous and light-hearted approach, but I couldn’t get a smile. So I offered the lad a bottle of shandy from the fridge. I had to make do with a half-hearted imitation smile. But that’ll do for me, I thang-you!

I’d like to know what’s making those noises above. They almost sound like he’s sat up there with a stick to keep tapping on the floor? I hope he’s not poorly.

Better get the ablutions done. I’ve already missed the first Diabetes lesson. I’ve already missed the first Diabetes lesson. I fear leaving it until morning again, with the transport also coming as mercifully, the top man, Nathanial, has told me he will stay behind to talk me through what I missed on the first course. Jolly decent of him, too!
State of the feet before getting the ablutions done here on the left. Off belatedly, to the wet room.
Three days of growth of the beard took some shifting. Only a few nicks. The teeth were painful to clean. Showering went okay, no knocks, falls, or Dizzy Dennis visits. Many many dropsies, mind you. Turned off the shower and dried off.
Yes, well… all were hurtful, to say the least. Germolene, Germoloid, and the worst of the lot… Little Inchies fungal lesion ointmentating! Arthur Itis and Cartilage Kathy were treated to some Phorpain rub.

I took an after-shower shot (Try saying that when you’ve had a few, Hehehe!) of the pins and plates.
Looking like they had been polished with Brasso or something of that ilk. Haha!

I settled in the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously, grungy coloured, haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable of, not working, recliner. Put on a Dr Who DVD and was soon sleeping away like a baby – I wee’d myself overnight!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Inchcock Today: Not a Good One!

We’ll start with the Ode,
Cause I’m tired and old,
Sorry, there’s no centrefold…
Oh, dearie me, I just scowled.
Just stubbed my toe; I let a naughty word go…
Read about another murderer being paroled!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Hope this one gets a smile or even a laugh…

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Today felt like the longest day – ever!

0525hrs: I sprang awake with the usual verbal Huh! In mental confusion and a mind-muddle. That’s also a regular awakening scenario.
However, I was soon out of the c1968 recliner. And after a regulation wee-wee; The brain seemed to come partially together, and I remembered both the Amazon order was coming today and the delightful Carol to do the washing in place of Esther. The Amazon order should be the gigantic bottle of Ben’s hickory smoked barbecue sauce on its way to me. I adore the flavour of this one. It may not as strong as some other sauces are, but it’s smoked to perfection! And along with the wonderful Stubbs Hickory Liquid Smoke, will be used in the chilli I make. This passes Josies and my taste buds test to a tee! I also use it on the veggie burgers. Oh, I do live well… That might be a slight exaggeration. Hehe!

I checked the state of the plates first, not the dinner plates, my plates of meat, feet. They looked good, but they were painful underfoot. Having said that, They’ve been a lot worse, so I’m not going to grumble!
For some weird reason, I remembered the mould on the bottom of the shower area. I got the Mr Muscle Spray and used it all, covering the affected area. Then thought I’d leave it for the recommended 15 minutes and, naturally, I forgot all about it. Ahem! !

I made up the waste bags, then I cleaned the cooker top… I did think about cleaning the oven… but, well, you know how it is… Hehehe!

Arrived and inquired as he came through the door what that smell was. At this point, I remembered the mould spray I’d lathered the wet room and floor with. Richard went in, looked around and turned to me with that famous half-smile and a he is, look on his face! He pointed out that I’d used shower gel, not a mould cleaner. He helpfully told me to nip down to Sherwood and buy some. Hehe!

It was so late in the night that by the time I made a start on this blog, my eyes were making it so hard for me to see properly. The notes on the ‘remember-pad’ have wriggling letters and words, so I’ll have to either guess or ignore what I cannot decipher. Sorry!

I’d not heard from HRH or Billum for a while. I was a little worried, so sent an email asking how things were – with hopes that they were okay. I love them both; they have such great personalities and are caring people.

Little did I know of what lay in store for me today. Ups and downers and more frustrations through things I did wrongly cost me dearly in time. I was up all day and night, trying to make things right again. Humph!

Carol, the ex-carer, who is standing in for Esther, came in, but of course, I could not hear her. Good job that I wasn’t using the bucket or medicating any bleeding areas at the time. I mentioned that it would be best if she pressed the doorbell before coming in. I spoke very matter-of-factly so as not to hurt her feelings. She apologised, and I said there is no need for that; you were not to know. She’s a lovely lady. She took the laundry for washing and said she will return. Bless her.

Now all the scribbling I’d done for over 14 hours was getting harder to read. I think I see “To the waste chute with Richard… Stubbed Toe and then mixed in. Back at the flat – Carol returned with the washing. But there is a lot of writing that means nothing to me now. Grungleturds! Carol and I had a natter, and she left the bag in the junk room for me. I still haven’t got around to taking the clothes out as hung up yet! It’d been the sort of day.

I do remember a … Oh, yes! As Carol was leaving, I, yes me! Realised I’d not paid her yet! Which I did, post haste… well, as soon as I found where I’d left my money, that took the edge off of my smugness, Hahaha! Another line of nothingness on the pad.

As I sat down to check on the Amazon delivery tracker, Anne Gyna kicked off, and she made a good job of it. So much so that like yesterday, I took gulps of Pentax, and having taken an extra Beta-Blocker, I dare not take any more, so took a Codeine 30g, but she’s been at me ever since. Even now, so many hours later, Anne is letting me know she’s still there, and it’s nearly midnight now! Being worried about Billum and HRH isn’t helping, I suppose. Worra day!

I then sorted it out. Better late than never.
The figures looked okay to me, and the body temperature was almost spot-on. Surely the NHS result configurator will show this time a lower overall figure? I put in the numbers on their site, And sure enough, I was nearly in the amber zone. Yee-Ha!
I had an email come in while I was making this graph copy. It was from the wonderboys at Iceland – telling me the order is on its way, but with a few changes – confusing ones at that!

At least I got some No-Bull mushroom steaks and Vegan Ice cream. Not that I needed the ice cream at all; after finding out how much I’d already got in the freezer when I put the goods away later when they arrived. Well, would it be impossible to put them away before they arrive? Hahaha! It’s also so sad that the best burgers, the No-Moo brand, have stopped being stocked by Iceland – The Gits! I can’t find any of the other shops that are stocking them! Humph! The Iceland order arrived. The chap went through and put the food bags into the kitchen for me.

I thanked him and offered a cold drink for both men. Vodka and lime and a G & T were selected.
I had an extra problem on my hands now. Reading the short life dates on the chips, potatoes, burgers and what was the other thing? I forget now; it seems like days since the delivery to me, with no sleep for so long. Grumps!
I got the things in the fridge as quickly as I could. I needed a bit of jiggling about to make everything fit in there.
I spotted the vegan cheese that I bought earlier. Must get that used up.
You see here on the left what I mean about my being overstocked on the vegan ice cream? That is because they  (Iceland) have stopped selling the No-Moo burgers, and I suspect that the ice cream might be the next to be abandoned. I have little confidence in Iceland’s system.

Got on the computer, at last, to start finalising yesterday’s blog. I can see another early morning to bed job for me again. But soon got disturbed. But on this occasion, I welcomed it, for it was Carol returning the laundry. This is when I got smug at remembering I’d not paid her, then looking somewhat of a , when it took me five minutes to find my cash so I could pay Carol. Tsk!

I found that two letters had been posted; one was the DVT Warfarin Anticoagulation figures and doses. The other was from the CT4N transport.

.

Some of the writing on the leaflet from CT4N I could read. The graph with the prices for each trip out and in, or in and out, was clearly seeable. So, I assume I can use my oldies bus pass to get the cheaper rate, I think. So, it will cost me £9 for each of the 24 sessions of the Diabetes Training or whatever it’s called.
I must see Deana tomorrow to see if she’s arranged a lift for each session for me. Cause I reckon it says I’ve got to ring them for each trip? The eight A4 double-sided pages on rules and actions needed to use them (DT4N) are just too small to read. I think I can feel Cataract Cathleen laughing inside my head. Hahaha!

He’s now playing away at drilling, and knock-knocking, with the occasion clattering sound effects. Not getting on well with the blogging at all here. However, I did finally get the Monday post done and sent off, 14 hours later than usual, to WP. Email links were sent out, and then the “Oh, Susana” tune chimed away.

It was the Amazon delivery. Well, a part of it anyway. The extra-large super-duper Ben’s hickory smoked barbecue sauce, my taste buds were tingling at the thought of it! It is mouth-wateringly tasty!
I think I must have got something wrong again when I ordered the writing pads. I’,m sure I used the steel ruler to measure that t the page size would be the same as the ones I’m using now… but no!
You see the pack of eight pads next to the BBQ sauce bottle – eight pads! The bottle of Ben’s is thicker than the pads are wide!
I think my Arithmophobia let me down again somewhere along the line in ordering these. Ah, well, I’m not really surprised. I’m just so annoyed with myself again!
Then the biggest time-coster of the day…
Last week, I made up some of the tabs, like the Whoopsiedangleplop one above, in this colour, ready to use here. I can even remember when I did them. Straight after, the metal-tasting reflux came up, followed by a scary Dizzy Dennis bout. Within minutes things improved, but although I was close to getting my head down, I stayed up all night CorelDrawing and creating the tabs. (Truth is, I was weary of sleeping in case the reflux came up again). I am a cowardy-custard!) So today should have saved me time, not cost me it!
I went to use the first one and realised I made them all the wrong size. I thought at first, slightly annoyed again, I’ll just have to edit each one with a new size; time-consuming, yes, but a damned site better than having to spend literally hours making a new set… I thought. 
❶ I didn’t realise that the editor only allows you one edit per photo per graphic, and I could not alter them. ❷ But before I could start to create a new set, I had to clear the blog gallery of all the old ones, so they wouldn’t clash with the new ones! So, I did! ❸ Then, take all the old ones off of the hard-drive file to lighten the load on that, so I did! ❹ Double checking that the file and gallery were free of all the old ones, and at just the wrong moment shook me silly; I’ve no idea what I might have pressed as the cursor shot across the screen… but Corel Draw closed itself down!  I genuinely think I might have cried! ❺ As if she was mocking me, kicked off!

❻ I stopped, and a Dracula Depression fought its way through the pain to get at me. And a sad Inchy just sat in the chair here, saying nothing, but the Thought-Storms were raging. I felt so sorry for myself, then I felt ashamed, and it was me sinking to a new low… ❼ Silly, but I believed a mug of tea would somehow help and went to the kitchen to put the kettle on… ❽ I didn’t make it, for fortuitously I got a en route… which made me even angrier, I’m not one for getting angry, but this time I think I was; everything blurred for a short while as if I was walking through fire and smoke… I’m not joking! The pain I was in must have triggered some defence mechanism I’ve not had before. For I suddenly resolved myself not to be beaten – and returned to the computer, and admittedly with a certain amount of incertitude, restarted CorelDraw. ❾ Of course, then I had lost the last saved version of the file! So, I saved this saved version to the old name, and things looked good. Hope was in the air! ❿ Then, all I had to do was pray that neurotransmitters and SSS didn’t bother me again and spent well over two more hours getting the new set of tabs completed!
I’d not had a shave or wash; I was in agony and so tired… yet this new spirit of resistance won the day, and I could get on with this blog once again. A SUPER . But was soon disturbed, in the nicest way…

By Cheeky Charley, the cheerful tonight carer. Because last night, I had dropped a tablet, tonight she hand-fed them to me, one at a time. She washed my stomach, where some blood had dropped earlier in the day when bile came up, and Charley made sure I was feeling okay before she left, all chirpy and gay! I think tonight she was going on the Girlie-Night-Out, and if so, I bet she was the star of the show, wherever they went. Hahaha! ♥

Back to the blogging grindstone, but a happier lad… well, I say lad… I was so worn out mentally, but Anne Gyna eased off at last, and then I had a break and checked on the emails. To Billum and HRH Lisa, they had replied to my email, letting me know they were okay and recovering from a nightmare hospital visit for Lisa. The nightmare was the hotel they were staying in. So much noise they could not get any sleep. Youngsters with their music and noise. Which is so sad. Between the three of us, who all suffer from sleep deprivation, and all three of us get it at the same time! I’m just thankful their absence was not caused by illness or accident; they both have more than enough to cope with as it is. This news kept me going. I checked the email again.

Billum let me know a bit more of his Whoopsiedangleplops. HRH and he went through. A sad Tale of Woe. We three share that trait. Hehehe!


Evening All!

Inchcock Today: Thursday 4th August 2022

Starting with this Humorous Ode
———————————–
Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

Last night I slept early, getting up around 12:40hrs, and got on with the day’s work. I’m nothing if dedicated.
After yesterday’s three false alarms, I was unsure of having a successful mission. However, the evacuation flowed in contact with the plastic throneand kept coming; at one stage, I thought my body might float into the air. Hehe! I’d passed that much. And comfortably, pain-free without any bleeding! A total reversal, I suspect that the different veggie burgers I had for dinner may have played a part in this scenario.

This photo I took of the plates and pins and forgot to put on yesterday’s blog. It could happen to anyone, Ahem! Don’t they look good? This and the excellent BP lately are worrying; I’m not used to this.

I had a wash and sorted out the waste bins. Got a cold drink from the fridge, finished yesterday’s blog, and posted it off to WordPress.

I made up the dry-humoured Ode to use and spent hours trying to sort out whatever I’d done wrong on Corel Draw, which lost me so many options. At one time, I gave up, turned it off, and got out the sphygmomanometer. 
Yet another great set of figures this morning. And I was only just inside the red zone. Amazes me how the BP has been so good this last month.
I tried CorelDraw again, and I lost the saved template. More time lost, searching without much hope… But, I found, retitled it to the original name, and all was well again. I thought

I’ve got a Morrison via Amazon order coming later shortly now. But will Carer Richard come late enough so he can have his Mushroom Pete treat? Will the delivery come in time? – Will they have any in stock? – Will they send crap substitutes? Can I freeze a fresh mushroom pate for Richard to have the following Monday? Did I remember to order some? What day is it?…

The wee-wees have eased off. The rear-end found new life. My legs, ankle ulcer and feet are looking virtually perfect. No Harold Haemorrhoid or Fungal Lesion bleeding. No stubbed toe, walking into anything, & no battle with Sock-Glide-Glenda (I didn’t put any socks on). 

Arrived when and we were both a little down, I think. What bit of chinwagging we got was not the most cheerful. And Richard broke his own record for the fastest visit today. He was soon off in haste, but still the pleasant chap he is.

I turned off the computer to ensure that when the Morrison Amazon delivery arrived, I could be in the kitchen with the door open and hear when the weak, timid, pathetic chime from the intercom was heard. When the intercom chimed out, I was taking the opportunity to titivate the mess on the draining board.
A beautiful young lady came to the door and handed me each bag I put in the hallway. She already had my address, Hehe! Took my date of birth.
I thanked her and set about taking each bag through to the kitchenette. Poor old thing! I know I’m getting old, senile and past it. It shook me that I needed a few minutes to rest after taking the bags through the hallway.
The frozen item was the Meatless Farm Burgers, as well; there’s not much free room in the freezer.
Got what might be the last of pod peas, they are near the end of the season now, and it shows.
The fridge, on the other hand (not that I actually had a fridge on the other hand), had a lot of fodder that had to be jungled and jiggled to make room to get the stuff in there. These included some Strawberries, one for the Wardens, and Carer Valerie’s weekly treat.
Bananas, and my favourite veg seasoning, Oxo. These cubes have a fantastic flavour with them. I got some rice in, as it has already shot up in price, and a lady on the TV last night said to expect a lot more increases.
I put the warden’s weekly flower treat in the hallway; it’s cooler in there and rang to say they could be collected anytime. And if the DVT nurse comes early, I’ll bring them down to the office for them.

I must remember to ask Deana if the lift for the Diabetes session is sorted cause with Nathanial staying late to go over my missed meeting course, I will not know when I will be leaving. So will have to get a tram to Nottingham, a bus to Sherwood, and another bus up to the flats on that Friday. Fingers crossed that the ailments give me a break, which they are doing now… but they’ll be back! Haha!

Minutes after typing the above, the wet warm glow started in the lower regions. Why did I have to open my mouth? At least today, I can patch things up with the invaluable help of the shower before medicating. I always dread this happening when I’m out and about. Pure luck that it doesn’t happen too often… come to think of it, I’m not out usually anyway.

I’ll turn everything off computer-wise now and get the ablutionalisationing done and medicating certain areas in need. Back in a while…

“Lambasting-to-Self: Oh, No, you great fool, the DVT nurse and Deana are coming, aren’t they, dumbo!… I wish you’d get it together… Idiot! You know you can’t hear the telephone, intercom or even the door chime when you’re in the shower… Pillock!”
Dementia Doreen dashes your plans! Did you see that? The vaguest iota of contentment or thought that things might about to be going well, and what happens?

11:10hrs: Checked the tracker on Amazon; 3 stops away; I’d nearly forgotten about this delivery coming as well! Tsk! All that hassle getting the shower repaired, and now I still can’t get a shower! Or much sleep, either.

Took these photographicalisations of magnificent puffer clouds on display. A tremendous deep shade of blue?

11:39hrs: Checked the tracker on Amazon; Still 3 stops away.

Got some chips in the oven, chip sarnies for a snack? Cooked it, took a photo of it (and it didn’t get on the SD card?), ate it (the chip sarnies), and fell asleep.

Zzz!
Amazon Red Leicester delivery arrived. I put them away.
Zzz!
Esther called to see how things were, off on holiday. Wished her all the bestest.
Zzz!
Wardens Dean and Julie arrived. To do the yearly fact updates, we did them, and I mentioned the lift to the Diabetes at Bulwell. The leading man, Nathanial, is staying behind on this session to help me catch up with the one I missed, thanks to Meridian Care lot not letting me know they had failed to arrange a lift for me after saying to me; “We’re sorting it, no need to worry!” Deana phoned the transport people and arranged for a ride for the Friday 12th, 2nd session. I had to join something, and Deana sorted it all for me on the phone. Lovely, ♥! Deana also gave a note with the relevant numbers on it… But can I find it? NO! But I did remember to provide them with their weekly treats, flowers, and strawberries. Searched for hours for the note… maybe she didn’t give me one, or… I’m getting muddled again. I emailed her the list of the meetings and mentioned the mystery note… I am a fool!
Zzz!
. Arrived, I was well deep into sleep again, a rude awakening. Haha! Got the medications sorted out for me. Treated to a choice of plonk/nibbles. Off he went, not taking the waste bags to the chute. Cause I didn’t remind him. However, I had all the waste made from the other deliveries to sort, so I got on with them and took them all to the waste chute.

Cathleen’s Cartilage was playing up after I twisted the knee getting into the chute room. Pain level, only 4/10. Easily bearable.

Onto the computer and sent the list of sessions to Warden Deana. Updated this blog up to here. Then started the template for Fridays.

I nipped into the wet room to check that the shower was not leaking again, and…
Gave myself a good toe stubbing against the dreaded, fearsome Sock-Glide-Glenda. Catching the ankle ulcer at the same time. When I took this photo, later on, the end of the toes of the affected foot was white, and the rest of the foot was glowing red; the leg above was ghostly white?

Just another of the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morganas that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind. I just laughed it off, of course.

I got this blog finished. I’ll post it in the morning.

It’s been a busy day. But getting help from Deana, and Ethel checking on how I was going, meant so much to me. Bless ’em! ♥

Inchcock Today: Diary & Odeing

Inchcock would like to start this blog with one of his more heartwarming efforts, Ode-wise. Sentimental, uplifting, exhilarating style of Odeing. It’s part of his self-declared “I’m fed up with hearing myself moan” policy. Thank you!

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Wednesday 3rd August 2020

I spent five hours head down in the recliner last night. If I got about three hours of sleep, I was lucky. One of the worst “Shoot awake & nod-off again” nights ever. At 07:45hrs, A real shaking of a wakeup, with the need for a wee-wee, forced me to scramble free of the c1966 recliner and over to the overnight bucket. I failed to get Little Inchie out in time! Gragnangles! Off to the wet room. I was in a bit of a state, so decided to get another stand-up wash and a change of PP’s naturally. I gave the shower a go, just to see if might work, but there was no noise from the drain-forcer, and the red light came on, so I quickly turned it off at the power again. A got a stand-up washing of the affected areas. New pants on, and back out to the kitchenette to get the kettle on.

Carried out. With another set of fantastic results to savour.

SYS a phenomenal 126!
DIA at 69

Pulse 82
Body temperature 33°f

Couldn’t ask for a better set of figures. Why, I’m down to near normal and in the green, to boot!
07:45hrs: Richard arrived, and he seemed in a slightly perkier mood today at first. But when he sat down, the yawning began again. After interrogating him, Hehehe! I discovered he’s had a bad night again.

He showed me the monitor the Diabetes clinic had fitted on his arm. He scans it twice a day, and the results go straight through to the hospital. True monitoring and a very natty system. Glad he’s got it, so a professional eye can keep tabs on his sugar level.

Not much time for nattering this morning, although he didn’t rush me at all. His body language and my EQ told me he wanted to get away early, and that’s fair enough for me. Hobbled him to the door, where he picked up the waste bags. Made sure that he’d got the bag of treats and wished him some sleep as we parted.

I spent hours on getting this blog template started, but it was hard work; the eyes are not so good, and it was a medley of mistakes, errors, correcting, and then finding the corrections were wrong as well! Time flew by, and I had so many breaks for wee-wees that I thought they would never stop! They didn’t, but did slow down a little after 14:00hrs!

My toffee-nosed, self-important, nyaff, noisy neighbour above kicked off with venom. And continued on and off, firth next five hours. Still, it’s nice to know he’s still alive.

The rumbling innards suddenly got more volatile, with involuntary emissions of wind from the hind quarters. And off on a hobble to the Porcelain Throne. One of the oddest visits in a long time. I got sat down on the Throne, and much wind escaped, but nothing else. I waited patiently, having a go at the crossword; for some reason, I could read the clues with less difficulty than usual. There’ll be a reason for that. If you find it, can you let me know, please?
Anyway, I gave up. got the pants and trews back on and was opening the wet room door, and winds started coming again, accompanied by the rumbling and grumbling innards. Back onto the Throne… for a repeat performance. seems likely that Constipation Konrad is in charge of the bowels, then? Another surrender, with that feeling that something has to, or will erupt at any time now. Most uncomfortable!

As I got into the hallway, with perfect timing, I was only two feet away from the panel: and the intercom rang forth! Yes, YES, it was the plumber arriving to investigate the shower!!!

He was a nice, patient chap. Listened s I explained at I was doing when the alarm went off, and he investigated for me. Five minutes later, he’s got the shower working again. And took the time to tell what had gone wrong with it. A filter had been blocked, and he’s changed it, well cleaned it up, good as new. Explained to me that if a lot of people use the showers at the same time, especially in the higher flats, sometimes the pressure changes. If this happens again, turn it off, and try again in a few minutes. I thanked him and insisted he take a cold drink from the fridge in thanks. Grrreat!

Put some potato cubes in the oven and made an order for Morrisons via Amazon for tomorrow morning. Then got the potatoes in the oven. I’m just having the spuds with some of Jenny’s donated tomatoes, I think. After eating this, maybe I can get some catching-up sleep. But, will I be able to?

MEMORY BLANKS:
Found this photo in the morning. Not the foggiest memory of making it or eating it… But when I saw this, a taste of the veggie burgers came into my mouth.
I think I liked it. Haha!.

Memory regained: When woke me up when she arrived. Obviously, I must have fallen asleep. I was so drowsy after she stirred me that maybe I’d just got off to sleep? It took me awhile to get things together? I remember getting her a cold drink from the fridge and Valerie leaving, then it was head down again… That was it until 00:20hrs when I woke in need of a wee-wee…

A most peculiar evening.

Inchcock Today 28th July 2022

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06:00hrs: I roused from my slumber and felt full of life and ready to get upped and at ’em… Thankful to find I was still alive. Blessed the Lord, praised my good fortune, I thanked the Heavens for another day of joy and merriment. And admired the state of my muscular six-pack stomach… Of course, t’was all a figment of my half-asleep, depressed, tortured, nervously agitated, dominated, feeble, and confused mind.

Truth? I felt horrible! Physically, things were not too bad at all! But only mentally.
Fair enough, I’d done something to the right hand’s middle finger, at the bottom of the nail. The tiniest bit of something sticking up, and each time I caught it on something, it stung like hell. Finger beginning to swell and redden? No idea what had caused it.
The ulcer is forever glowing and growing one day, then sinking and hiding the next? But the Doctor said she’s not bothered about this, so it will be alright. She was concerned with the fluid retention and swelling and took the time to talk to me in great depth to explain the malady and how and what to do… She said (To Meridian’s Natalie on the phone): ‘Tell him to put his feet up.’ Nothing like a caring Doctor, I imagine. But how would I know?
Commenced. The body temperature was once again almost perfect, close to the said optimum of 35°f, with 34.6°f. Perfick!
Sphygmomanometerisationing session next. These returns were far better than yesterday’s were. SYS down to 134, DIA 63, and the Pulse down to 79 bpm. This looked good to me. I got the computer and put the figures into the NHS DVT site to see what they make of it. I got a details list; come back this time. The Blood Pressure was pleasing, especially with it going up yesterday. I’m out of the red zone again! Very satisfied with being n the pre-high area. I’ve not done that very often… well, in the last month, I have a few times.

Carer Richard arrived, looking a little more sprightly and not yawning. I was going to ask him if he’d got a decent sleep in at last, but he volunteered that he has four days off now and will see me next Monday. He needed a break. I bet someone doesn’t come in, and they call on Richard again. Poor lad! He checked the medical drawer to ensure sufficient medications were available until Monday. He noticed I winced when I was getting his treats out; when I caught whatever it was, thingamabob, whatnot, near the nail. Told me to level the bit sticking up and put a plaster on it. So, I did! Feeling an idiot for thinking of doing that myself! Haha! We had a natter after Richard had done the medicationings. Taking my waste bags with him on the way out to the rubbish chute for me.

I got the kettle on, and as I did, it was as if someone had turned the light off… The sky went ominously dark very quickly. I got the Canon camera and took this photo. I was expecting a downpour any moment, but no! Within a few minutes, the light had returned. Dr Who would have known what was going on? But not me. Hahaha!
I noticed the usually plus green meadow at the bottom of the tree copse was looking a little weather-worn. But not around the edges, but only in the centre? A dog-walker was picking her little white dog’s poo and putting it into a bag for the poo box. This got me thinking of my younger days living in the Meadows. If memory serves me right, and my long-term memory usually does, the short-term usually affects me. I can recollect that there was an abundance of dog droppings on my paper rounds, and I reckon 74% of it was white or grey. Even some of the cats’ evacuations were! No one ever thought of collecting the turds back then, of course. They’d get dried and then used as kickabouts by the local kids.
I’m assuming the whiteness was due to malnutrition of some sort? Looking back a the food given to some dogs makes me shudder. A lot of dogs ate with the family. Whatever they ate, the dogs did. Then along came the new Lassie and Chappie canned dog food. 3d a can! This equates to about… let’s see, there were 240ds to a pound, so if divide 240 by three, excuse me while I use the calculator… that would buy 80 cans for a quid! Those were the days! Today one tin of Chappie cost £1.30; what percentage rise in price is that?

But the dogs on our terrace did not take to Lassie or Chappie. Apart from Mr & Mrs Wright’s Rover. I knew that Mrs Dukes Sammy, Mr Marsinacks dog (I can’t remember his name), and the barber, Mr Barker’s three dogs, Lilli, Brutus and Chelsea, hated them. Not so bad for those three. The owner could afford fresh or canned meat for them. Other dogs continued to pass the white lumps, most of them going from bin to bin in search of fodder. Still, no one complained about the dog mess… I think we thought it would just evaporate. Ha, Ha!

I spent hours and hours doing this blog. No one called, no hassle… apart from the odd overture of noises from the antisocial, smarmy Herbert in the flat above But, not a lot today… up till now, anyway.

I’ve run out of bread; I do have some part-baked cobs to use, though. I made an order from Iceland for next week and ordered a few loaves; there should be room in the freezer for the bread by then.

Getting late already. I got the meal sorted. I worked things out oven-cooking-wise (Huh!); The veggie burgers needed 30 minutes cooking, the potato Rosti’s 20, so I planned to put the burgers in for 10-minutes, then add the rosti. And what a danged mess I made in doing so.

Muggins here did it the opposite way around! Realised five minutes later that and removed the rostis, burning my wrist as I took them out, and dropped one on the floor.

Reconstituted and shaped it, burning my finger,  and got the burgers in and cooking.

Dropped the plate as I was putting the peas onto it.

Forgot to add the rostis after 10 minutes!

By then, I was pretty self-critical, and at that time. Herbert kicked off with a tap-tap-crunch routine.

I’m sure what I did then, I was pretty stressed and miffed. Somehow, I got the mess sorted in a fashion. And got sat in the £300, second-hand, decrepit, Haemorrhoid Harold-testing, sleep deterring, nauseatingly beige-coloured, not-working, recliner, and ate the meal from a tray, balancing precariously on the folds of fat on the stomach. While eating it, I kept getting twinges of guilt for leaving the kitchen sink with food-burnt-on oven trays soaking. Still, despite it all, I ate all of the fodder and scored it an 8/10 for taste.

Put the plate to one side and drifted into a deep, almost heavenly dream-filled sleep. I’ve no idea what I was dreaming of, just knew it must have been something pleasant… For the Evening-Carer had arrived and stood over me, looming and speaking… I thought at first that this must be a part of the dream. My mind was all over the place. The gal had not rung the ♫Oh Susana♫ door chime and came in without me knowing. Good job that I wasn’t changing PPs or wee-weeing in the bucket! I was a little out-of-it, slow, mentally, having just been woken up, so things were foggy about the visit. Got the meds sorted, and I think we had a little natter about something. I walked to the door with her to lock it. Thanked her and offered a treat, unaccepted or wanted on this occasion. Wished the gal all the bestest, and I hastened back for a wee-wee. Not had one for a while.

No shaving cuts… because for some reason, I forgot to shave? The feet looked a little colourful, but I’d not long been out of the shower, so that would have some bearing on their condition, I reckon. Back on the computer, after failing to nod back to sleep. Another ruined night’s sleep. And I’m paying to be woken up to be given my medications! Hahaha!

I found a lost photo of the front car park from this morning.
The vehicles are parked rather decoratively, don’t you think? A colourful selection on view.
Guilt reminded me that the kitchen had not been cleaned yet. So I cleaned it, then got back to the comp[uter to update this blog to here.

Then I went into ponderisationalistical-mode on what today’s Ode should appertain to… Well, I sat here waiting for inspiration. Listening to the dreaded World-Wide-Hum getting louder and louder, or seemingly so!
An hour later, I am still awaiting some afflatus or eureka-moment to inspire the Ode into logicality… no, no, that won’t work. Best do the normal then, type away and hope for the best, no doubt struggling for words, what they mean, how to spell them, miss-typing and spelling, confusion, inanity… the usual stuff then. Sorry about that.

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All the bestest!