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Inchcock’s: It’s Been a Funny Old Life – Part 2

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Inchcock’s: It’s Been a Funny Old Life – Part 2

GCcomp2

Each morning there was the fire grate to clean out and renew,

Get Dad’s breakfast, he’s eat owt, porridge eggs or stew,

Then get some cash from him for groceries, not easy to do,

Boil some water for Dad to wash and shave in too,

No internet, Google, Facebook, WordPress or Yahoo,

Had to do me morning paper round while Dad ate his stew,

Back an hour later Dads time for work was due,

Off he’d go, I’d clean his pots – getting to school the next issue,

Knowing I’d get bullied and learn nowt – it’s true,

Lunch with Echo margarine or lard sarnies, Eurgh!

Out of school and rush to the paper shop, more work to do,

Back to the house to lay the fire I flew,

Dad would arrive between six and ten demanding a brew,

Light the fire make his nosh, mine is overdue,

Entertainment from the light radio, no radio Two,

Raise a laugh, The Archers and The Navy Lark too,

His language was not usually bad or blue,

But he often said: ‘You useless article you!

Sun 7.6.2015: Inchcock Today

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Sunday 7th June 2015

Woke at 0545hrs, mucho bleeding from the little Inch again.

On the WC – and couldn’t get off for 45 minutes! Oh dear… blood from the other end now. Tsk!

Cuppa and medication taken – pots cleaned and laptop on.

Did a graphic for Clivey Boy and emailed it to him. Coreldraw x7 crashed again! Grrr!

Then did the header for this diary – and started it off.

Early yobboes lurking up and down the street this morning?

Another cuppa, then finished me blogs for yesterday and got them posted – only took me four hours.

0701Had a good scrub-up and shave, in me togs and set off to town.

When I got towards the Victoria bus-station, I took a photo showing the old filled in railway lines and the supports that hold up the actual bus-station.

I bet that took some graft and  know-how to get built?

Caught the C single decker bus to Mansfield (another instant decision made to to Mansfield).

0702We went through Bulwell, Hucknall which I took the first photograpicalisation of me often visited GUM clinic as the bus went passed it like. Memories flooded back to me… eurgh!

Then through Newstead then Annesley where I tried to take a photo of some horses in the 0703fields as sped along, but this dark blue Transit van is all I got as he sped passed us!

Huh!

Just passed Annesley I managed to take a photo of some old colliers (miners) terraced houses. This set me thinking of all the Collieries we used to have in this area:

0705Gedling, Hucknall No1, Hucknall No2, Linby, Radford, Wollaton, Newstead, Bevercotes, Mansfield, Harworth, Kirkby, Ollerton, Bentinck, Pye Hill, Thoresby, Welbeck, Clipston, Rufford, Blidworth, Annesley, Moorgreen, Selston, Sutton, Silverhill, Teversal, Firbeck, Sherwood.
Lodge, Highpark, Manton, Warsop Main, Shireoaks, New Hucknall,
Steetley, Langton. Cossall, New Selston, and Oakwood Grange, and I’ve probably missed some off the list?

I went into deep contemplating mode for a while. The miners were extremely militant and their unions decision not to hold a strike ballet was one route cause of frustration within Nottingham colliers – but Maggie Thatcher already had plans for the destruction of the industry in the pipe-line before the strike it transpired. Whoever one chooses to blame the most – the suffering of the colliers families and the break up of communities was so very lamentable and sad.

0704The bus was at Kirby-in-Ashfield when I pulled myself out my moroseness.

As the bus passed the graveyard that has many American Airmen in it I thought I’d take a photo…

But an ambulance with it’s blues and twos belted passed from the opposite directed and frit me a bit Hehe.

0706That was two photographs ruined. Would I make me hat-trick I thought?

At Sutton bus-station I noticed that KFC had done there… er… food place up and made it look nice now – shame there was no one actually going in it for the time we were there waiting for the bus to move.

We drove on eventually getting in Mansfield bus station, and I made me way to the book shop to get half the money back I paid for em, when I got two more book and swapped em – if yer see worra mean like.

0708It had closed down – Huh!

So I poddled up to the B&M store and had a wonder around.

Got a packet of bacon that looked nice and was cheap.

Well!

0710Then I moved up to have a decker in the Pound-stretcher shop – they had some dried onions in, and jars of Red onion cooking sauce with Rosemarie, so I got one of each.

As you can see, the Pound-Stretcher shop was very busy by the photo on the left wot I took see. And this is just one of five aisles in the place – wonder how long they’ll last?

Then I trudged back to the bus-station and caught a Pronto bus back to Nottingham, that would drop me of in Carrington.

0712The house I photographed while we were driving passed it is the one just bought by a certain media mogul chappy with a beard. A bargain at £3.3m I’m sure.

Of course I was goiing to put in a bid missen like – but he beat me to it.

FibMode

0713The sky looked nice and bright as I got back into Carrington.

Made me way back to the bomb-site with aching feet – not the bomb site with aching feet like, it wer me with the aching feet!

Yobboes on the street, had to go through them to get in the house, luckily cars were going by at the time and all I got was dirty looks form them.

IMG_0076

WC’d and updated this diary.

Then had me bacon with me flavoured baked beans and bread thins.

And jolly nice it was too…

Evening all!

Inchcocks Further Thoughts on Politicians – in Prose

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Slab InchyNCCwalk03

Further thoughts on Politicians

There’s not many that haven’t had an illicit love affair,

They are experts and tutored in spouting lies and hot air,

They dance around giving answers like Andy Capp or Fred Astaire,

Most Ministers have never worked, or known financial despair,

They fiddle expenses, get a pay rise of 9.6%, that’s so unfair,

They say the IPSA sets their salary now, they declare,

But they set the wage of IPSA of £40,400 per manager…yea?

And grant the IPSA expenses; of this the part-time IPSA are aware,

The rot set in with the crooked nihilistic, nepotistic Tony Blair.

–

Most are millionaires too, jealous… me? Now where’s me bus pass?

Cameron, and his cronies will never worry about the cost of gas,

Despite his cabinet consisting of a cruel men, an inertial mass,

PMs a group from superior stock, all unethical, bold as brass,

They are not caring, they are cruel, pitiless and crass.

_

They ought to hypnotised into being honest en mass,

They’ve taken away my few benefits, ‘cause I bought a pension,

Paid into it for fifty odd years, worse off now, makes you laugh,

It’s the weak they prey on, ignore, laugh at and harass!

–

Not for workers or pensioners, warmth, good food or an au pair,

I can’t afford a holiday or even the petrol or train fare,

No BUPA for me, just the ailing NHS hospital care,

The NHS staff are harangued and frustrated, but they really care,

MPs strut and pose, well fed, clothed, looking debonair,

While pensioners are struggling, broke, in utter despair,

They have their earnings from bribes and many an offshore share,

They sit in central heated offices, in their reclining chair,

Of others poverty, frustration and pain, they seem totally unaware!

Bless them. (Spit!)

NCCwdog

Inchcock Remembers the Royal Visit to Nottingham… (Sneer adopted)

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Inchcock’s Memories of the Royal Visit to Nottingham

Nottingham is preparing to give the Royal Family a warm welcome when the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge visit the city with the Queen.

Residents have spoken of their joy and surprise after Buckingham Palace announced Prince William and Princess Catherine will join the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh on their trip to the city on June 13.

The Royals will greet crowds in the Old Market Square, before making an appearance on the balcony of the Council House.

They will then travel to Vernon Park, in Old Basford.

Iris Busley, 65, of Skylark Drive, Basford, was delighted at the news of the Royals’ trip to the area.

She said: “I’m really gobsmacked. We’ve never had anything like this in Basford before.

“It’s a once-in-a-lifetime occasion.”

Susan Davis, 59, of Corncrake Avenue, called for everyone in Basford to turn out for the occasion.

She said: “I just think it’s incredible. It’s just wonderful.”

Buckingham Palace announced the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh will arrive by train at Nottingham Station, where they will be met by the Duke and the Duchess of Cambridge.

The royal party will then be taken by car to the Old Market Square to greet the public, before going into the Council House to meet the Lord Lieutenants of Notts and Derbyshire and invited guests. Huh!

They are one of 16 couples in Notts given the honour in recognition of celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary this year. Mr Starbuck, of Clarewood Grove, Clifton, said: “It’s all come as a bit of a shock. We’re thrilled they are all coming to Nottingham.

“We will be more than pleased to meet them and welcome them to the city.”

A spokeswoman for Sir Andrew Buchanan, Lord-Lieutenant for Notts, said: “We are thrilled with the visit. It’s unlikely a visit of this magnitude will happen again.

“It’s a one-off, and we are all very excited about it.”

The trip to Vernon Park will see the guests of honour treated to sporting and musical performances by children from schools and groups from Notts and Derbyshire.

The Queen and Duke of Edinburgh will leave after this, but the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge will remain at the park to watch more activities.

Nottingham City Council leader, Councillor Jon Collins, said: “As the capital of the East Midlands, it’s great Nottingham’s playing host to this royal visit.

My response was:

I’m so glad for them both. FibMode

It will be a reet-treat for them!

Being a long time resident of Nottingham, being made redundant three times, living for a month on a pension that’s less than they pay for a bottle of champagne, recovering from heart surgery, suffering with arthritis, impetigo, and angina, collapsed reflux valve, haemorrhoids, and knowing where to find the cheapest short date foods to buy, will no doubt fascinate them.

I offered to show then around the places they would not usually visit without their nine full time protection armed officers and an MI 5 helicopter hovering above.

Well, you’ve got to try and help the poor little Royal mites, bless them!

* I can show them the fourteen police station torched in the Summer riots – or rather the six that are still operating anyway.

* The burn marks on the Canning Circus station grab bars still visible as you climb the steps to go into it to report your being mugged again still brings back memories.

0402* I could take them home and show them my album of photographs of the local yobbery, with the one of the young gang who terrorise we old fold with mugging us, carry guns, breaking into our property, egging our windows, door knocking and general anti-social behaviour.

* I could show them the scenes where a party-goer was shot in the head with an air rifle, that’s only a few hundred yards to the south of my house.

* Then the pub where a youth was shot and killed, that’s just a few hundred yards north of my house.

* The spot where a man sat in a car was shot at by members of one of the  many drug gangs, that’s about half a mile from my abode, and on my weekly 90 minute walking route to the hospital for my INR Warfarin level blood tests.

0401* Take them on my 40 minute walk to town down Mansfield Road, and point out the variety of closed down retail businesses (46), where the 84 year old lady was mugged and hospitalised last June, while at the bus stop by two illegal immigrants one Sunday morning,  the now closed down shop where a lady of 67 years of age was gunned down in a raid and no one has ever been caught for it.

* Let them see the colourful Big Issue sellers as they sometimes get off their mobile phones to actually sell an issue.

* The newly opened outlets in the city centre – the Charity shops, the Bookmakers, the Coffee shops, Pawnbrokers and the ‘We buy your gold’ retailers.

* The constant traffic jams in the city, where they could increase their word knowledge I’m sure!

* Take them to the Arboretum, where sometimes you can find enough grass to sit on without having to move the used condoms, beer cans (Empty), pop and water bottles (Half-empty), half eaten take away foods, fag packets, phlegm, and sick, while they can listen to three or four other peoples music at the same time!

I haven’t had a reply to my offer yet!

I recall when I was in E19 Men’s surgical at the QMC a few years ago now, and Prince Charles was in a ward to himself above us, with two nurses and a sister in attendance full time – having his ‘tennis elbow fixed’!

I was having a hernia repair done, when they found I’d got cancer of the bladder, so attended to that for me at the same time… bless them.

0501* I might show them a photo of one of me nosh’s, to see how it matches with one of theirs? I bet they’d only be jealous though?

When Princess Diana arrived on a visit to Charles, with her armed protection officers, they were admitted through a fire door to avoid the awaiting press – someone shouted out in great admiration – “Oh… it’s Lady Di, and all the staff ran to the window to take look down at her… unfortunately for me, the auxiliary nurse was taking out my drainage tube from my penis at the time, and as she shot off to get a view of the royalty, she caught and dragged the tube with her foot, and I was covered in blood and in great pain!

I bet nothing like that happened to Charlie when he was having his tennis-elbow sorted?

Angry? Me?

Well….

Inchcock and the Internet

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07top2a

Inchcock and the Internet

I’d be well and truly lost without the Internet,

Mind you, understanding it can get me in a sweat,

On getting a good reliable service I was determined and set,

That was destroyed by my using BT Internet.

_

Others tell me their providers are crap as well,

All I know is about the high cost of the BT Death Knell,

WordPress goes wonky very often, and becomes unwell,

Facebook is the same, disappearing sticking text for many clientèle,

  Google seems more stable, easier to use as well.

_

Just when you begin to master some or other task,

Updates come in, and I need my pocket flask,

No one here for me advice I can ask,

So I search the internet, for solutions to unmask,

Clever answers found, I’m just outclassed!

_

It’s hard when you’ve not never had a decent education,

What do these things stand for or mean in abbreviation?

ACK, AFAIUI, Y3, & RADBNC, not of my generation!

But communicating with others satisfies me aspiration,

To help create a friendly Cyber-Nation.

_

Despite the Internet’s problems I must say,

I like the opportunity for laughter to cyber-spray,

Friendship and fun is what I seek for and pray,

Not nastiness, anger or insults, oh nay!

Although satire, humour and fun are good today,

Just please don’t upset anyone on your way!

* No Outer Mongolian Pregnant Kangaroos were harmed in the production of this piffle.

Inchcock Political Party Shadow Ministers rethink their Manifestos!

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Cabinet

Rachel Carrera says:

We must fight on and not mewl, it’s the voters that were the fools, following the main party like mules!

Shirley Blamey says:

Extreme policies we must overrule, I’ll do the job just give me the tools!

Angel says:

It’s the greedy politicians we must attack and ridicule!

Marissa Bergen says:

We need Punk-rock, in the home, on public transport and the vestibule!

Mike Steedenski says:

We must legalise hemp, marijuana, and the absinthe soaked toadstool!

Danny Soz says:

Everyone should hire a vehicle from my VAT free car-pool!

Inchcock says:

Bring back hanging for Pavement cyclists should be the rule!

Gazza H says:

Remove Inchcock as our leader and use him as a footstool!

Dunc the Hunk says:

When I went to school, I lived on gruel, Gawd life can be cruel!

* Gazza asked me to point out that no Shoplifters, Pavement Cyclists or Members of UKIP were harmed in the production of this load of rubbish.

Wed 22.4.15: Inchcock Today – Flummoxed

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Wednesday 22nd April 2015

Woke up and lay there trying to remember me dreams without success – and realised I was shaking all over – not like in the song!

IMG_0072Went down and made up me medication pots, then nipped out and fed the pigeons – .

Then made a cuppa and got the laptop on. Fatima & Fred brought the family with em today.

Still feeling ‘Wrong’ in missen today… hard to explain but I’ve been making many errors and forgetting more stuff than even I usually IMG_0071do – worrying this is.

The sky was what I call ‘yobbo encouraging’ style today – that is clear sunny (not hot due to the wind) – threatening outbreaks of antisocial behaviour and already the young apprentice yobs are milling about at the end of the street!

I remember last summer and the hassle these nerks gave me with threatening behaviour and mugging me.

a3I do not want to go through that lot again – maybe apprehension is getting to me about this?

Did me tests: BP Sys 147 Dia 82 Pulse 89 Temp 31.2

Started to create this diary – not easy when yer mind is not with yer but off on it’s own little tangent like, if you b6know what I mean?

The shaking steadied down nicely – so I got Corel Pro-paint started and tried to learn some of it’s features.

I’m going to do a post header and then try to make it look aged in Corel Paintshop Pro.

I do not hold out much hope and am prepared for my usual failure… but hey-ho, here I go.

Back soon to post the results… I hope!

TTFN.

I’ve just popped back on to show yer me rather sad results of the first effort here:

0100h

0100h3Original wot I dun like here first.

The aged supposed to look like an old newspaper photo but doesn’t really does it now?

0100h2Still. I’ll use this aged one fer the Diary header methinks.

My next project was to see how easy it was to add vector text to a photo – it wasn’t!

I shan’t be attempting this again.

Next task to find out how easy it is to add raster text to a picture.

Back in a bit when I gerrit dun like…

MikeCLRussiaNo easier than the old Coreldraw9, in fact both methods are more complicated – or is it that I’m more used to using the old Coreldraw method?

Maybe.

I took a break to ring sister Jane to see if she enjoyed their gallivanting off to Concert Hall to hear the Czech Philharmonic after going for a meal. She said they both enjoyed the meal and the concert. Although they nodded off once or twice. They are off to get the free fish and chips with the Nottingham Post’s vouchers, and then going to the Senior Reds meeting for a nosh and drinkies later today. I said they were always busy bless em.

Should have cheered me that news, but…

CLspiv3 CLspiv3a

Toyed with me Clive Danton Spiv photo wot I dun – applied Sepia to it and this is how it came out. Must send a copy to him in case he might use it in one of posts?

FramePPGot an email of support from Patti Bekert and Lynton Cox, they did brighten me up a bit.

Patti suggested I try St Johns Wort, so I’ll pop to the chemists in a bit to get some. Two genuine cyber-friends I don’t deserve but am so glad I’ve got!

I enjoyed doing the text for Patti’s photo, even though I couldn’t get the fill to change to wot I wanted it go to. Huh!

IMG_0073Had a wash and brush up and ventured out for a little wander down to the chemists.

No yobs about in fact not many people at all.

Got to chemists and the owner Deepak was in and very helpful he was too.

I asked the assistant about St Johns Wort Extract tablets and he came to me to explain about them.

They were £14.95 a pack of 60 so not too dear IMG_0081and I bought a box.

I asked if they would be okay to take with my other medications and he indicated it would be no problem at all.

I wondered down to the Lidl penitentiary and wondered round IMG_0074buying some biscuits and tinned mushrooms and left.

As I did I took a photograph of the sky and lack of people about.

I didn’t mind that – lack of people equals lack of yobs.

I plodded the roundabout route back to the concentration camp, feeling a little out of sorts and got the kettle on.

IMG_0075Made me nosh.

Bread Thins with thick sliced Sopocka sandwiches, tomatoes, small potatoes curried beans (Tesco brand, very mild) followed my an iced raspberry ice-cream lolly.

A slight change from me usual fair I know, but I ate it all this time, well nearly all of it.

Unfortunately while I was watching a DVD of All Creatures Great and Small I nodded off for a few hours.

Bit disoriented when I stirred.

Realised I’d missed me evening medications. Thought about it and took just one Warfarin tablet although they tell me not too if too late I just took the one instead of the dosage of three for today. Hope I’ve done right?

Took a Wort tablet too.

Despite the unplanned kip I still feel drowsy?

Did some graphic training – but the concentration no good, so turned to Facebooking for a while.

Political Graphics (Silly) to aid your choice of who to Vote for in May 2015

/ Inchie / 3 Comments

Where should they be?

Ode3

What have they done?

Osb05

Osborne parked in a disabled bay

The real Osborne?

Osb09

Still, I reckon

M-Theresa May

MPs known not to have fiddled their expenses are marked with a cross.

M-Theresa May

Lib-Dem’s Manifesto

M-Theresa May

The Rt Hon Jeremy Hunt finds a cheaper version of Warfarin for the NHS patients

M-Theresa May

Inchcock refused entry to Parliament, just because he was carrying a home-made stink bomb and had not paid his Poll Tax – Tsk!

M-Theresa May

Ed Miliband fights the removal of page 3 nudes

M-Theresa May

The finest liar since Tony Blair!

M-Theresa May

Quote from The Guardian: David Cameron warned on Sunday that Britain needs to be on alert for “roving firearms terrorist attacks” in Britain!

M-Theresa May

Islington Labour controlled County Council to introduce £60 fines for diesel found leaving their motors running – 2nd offence could mean imprisonment!

Lib-Dems say ban all petrol and Diesel cars by 2040!

M-Theresa May

UKIP – and when you wake up…

M-Theresa May

Would you buy  car from this nepotist?