Inchcock and the Internet


Inchcock and the Internet

I’d be well and truly lost without the Internet,

Mind you, understanding it can get me in a sweat,

On getting a good reliable service I was determined and set,

That was destroyed by my using BT Internet.


Others tell me their providers are crap as well,

All I know is about the high cost of the BT Death Knell,

WordPress goes wonky very often, and becomes unwell,

Facebook is the same, disappearing sticking text for many clientèle,

  Google seems more stable, easier to use as well.


Just when you begin to master some or other task,

Updates come in, and I need my pocket flask,

No one here for me advice I can ask,

So I search the internet, for solutions to unmask,

Clever answers found, I’m just outclassed!


It’s hard when you’ve not never had a decent education,

What do these things stand for or mean in abbreviation?

ACK, AFAIUI, Y3, & RADBNC, not of my generation!

But communicating with others satisfies me aspiration,

To help create a friendly Cyber-Nation.


Despite the Internet’s problems I must say,

I like the opportunity for laughter to cyber-spray,

Friendship and fun is what I seek for and pray,

Not nastiness, anger or insults, oh nay!

Although satire, humour and fun are good today,

Just please don’t upset anyone on your way!

* No Outer Mongolian Pregnant Kangaroos were harmed in the production of this piffle.

15 thoughts on “Inchcock and the Internet

  1. Ah, poor Inchcock. I know how it feels to be outsmarted by these hooligans who know way more about the computer than I do. I feel your pain. By the way, I’m really glad you threw in the part about the pregnant kangaroos. I was starting to get worried.

    • I’ve just tried to open Facebook but it didn’t want to open. I’ll try agen later cocker. Tried agen, got part of the screen up but no options or words? Anyone else having bovver with Faceboo k access please?

    • Alright then I admit defeat – I’ve got Facebook up again, clicked on Messages, then Notifications to search fer yer message – can’t find owt. Where is the FB inbox locationalised then me owd sparra? I looked in email nowt there. Help!

    • Well Sir Mike, I’m surprised at a man of your calibre not knowing that there are no pregnant Kangaroos in Inner Mongolia yer know – it’s a well known fact that when the Inner Mongolian Skippies get pregnant the go to Outer Mongolia, where they can get free health-care in return for donating one of the little uns to the new McDonalds who pay the government like. At least that’s wot Gaz told me.

      • Then that Sir Inchy would perhaps account for all the pregnant Kangaroos seeking passage from Calais to Dover…Farage told me that when the worse for drink!

      • Well blow me down wiv a feather duster! Amazin’ wot yer can learn like frum the educated gentle folk innit… hehe

  2. I see that Mike Steeden graced you with his presence. I was going to say about your wonderful ode that it sounded like you’ve been hanging out with him again. How are you feeling these days?

  3. I try not to hang about too much with Sir Mike nowadays – I can’t keep up wiv is drinking like Rachel. And he uses big words that confuse me. Main thing is he’s a tad nervous of catching summat from me too – Can’t blame him fer that I think.
    I’m feeling not too bad under the circumstances gal, thanks you.
    Taketh care.

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