Sun 28 June 2015: Inchcock Today

Sunday 28th June 2015


Woke around 0400hrs, and noted bits of me last dream down to put in this diary later.

DSCF0039I plodded down the stairs and put the kettle on.

It was dark dank and damp this morning, but not cold with it.

Took a photo as I popped me head out of the door to see if any of the pigeons had come down for their breakfast like.

The noise in the distance was of emergency vehicle klaxon’s – sounded like there were a few of them nearby?

DSCF0040Only one of the pigeons came down to nosh, so he feasted on the seeds.

Had me cuppa and took me medications. The wound was stinging a bit this morning – the reminded me that I had to get the dressing off today, how I can get behind myself to reach the gigantic plaster I didn’t know like.

I think I’ll ask the GP nurse to remove it in the morning when I go for me INR Warfarin blood tests. Then she can check it out at the same time?

The rain is coming heavier now.

Got carried away with doing some graphics in Coreldraw and Corelpaint to use later.

Finished me “It’s Been a Funny Life – Part 4” off and posted it.

Then felt the warm wet glow from me little Inch location… oh dear… went up to the bathroom to check it out. Boy was it bleeding. Wot-a-mess! Took me ages to get it to stop, I was nearing the stage of calling for help when it slowed down – no wonder they can’t get me INR levels right is it? Huh! Must remember to get some more pads soon.

Made another cuppa, the last one went cold. Tsk!

Started this diary off. Then looked at me notes about the dream:

I was on a boat on the Thames and had a water-pistol that looked like a stun-gun and was trying to row near enough to the Houses of Parliament to squirt the water at it?

Suddenly there were loads of attacks on me from helicopters, a submarine appeared nearby and fired their deck gun at me, a hurricane fighter dived at me machine-gunning and firing rockets at me, divers appeared at the side of me boat with their guns out, an aircraft carrier appeared in the distance approaching me, snipers from the roof were firing at me… in the middle of all this an air-ambulance dropped down telling me that I’d missed an appointment at the clinic – the then started throwing loaded syringes at me?

None of the attacks hit me, they just bounced off the frogman’s suit I was wearing?

Norman Wisdom was suddenly at my side singing something or other, then led me down some steps under the boat… not sure what happened next, but I found myself in a giant cave with a stream running through it, with giant Centipedes, each playing several guitars at the same time?

I became aware that I was wearing me old TA denims.

Odd, even for me this one was…

Started doing some shredding and sorting.

DSCF0041Weary now, I made me nosh and got me head down really early.

Baked tatties with butter and Himalayan pink mountain salt, ham sandwich, bananas, and a mini-roll – followed my last tub of strawberry & vanilla ice-cream.

Rated it 7/10.

Inchcock in Prose – It’s been a Funny Old Life… Part 4

It’s been a Funny Old Life… Part 4


It started getting confusing, when I was born,

To mother I was unwanted, a bit of a thorn,

So she kept running off, not that it made me mourn,

I thought at first it was due to me, and felt forlorn,

Then the Police called to see her one morn,

Regarding a Christmas club funds being overdrawn,

But she’s gone hours earlier at the break of dawn!


The chase was on, thus her reputation did aggrandise,

They caught her 9 months later, and believed her lies!

Dad took her back in, even I saw that was not wise,

Things kept disappearing, before our very eyes,

She was repeatedly off again, someone else to victimise,

Everyone she conned liked her, hard to realise,

They just trusted her, and that was very unwise!


Many callers over the years wanting to know where she’d went,

Loan sharks after money they had foolishly lent,

Lawyers, Window cleaners, neighbours giving vent,

Bookmakers, grocers even cobblers where she had overspent,

All seeking recompense to some extent,

Disappointed and sad they were as they went!


When I was fourteen, I started work and earned some cash,

She was back in our midst, quick as a flash!

Of the massive £3.3s.3d a week I earned, not balderdash,

She only charged me £2 for board, I was taken abash!

Shame she nicked me clothes, LP’s and any spare cash!

It didn’t matter where I tried to hide me stash,

She always found it – and flogged it quick as a flash!


Finally, many years later, she was up before the beak,

Conning the judge and jury whenever she did speak,

She walked from court without giving a single pique,

A richer woman, new flat with rent paid every week,

No compensation to pay, Gas paid and benefits increased,

Went straight to the bookmakers tongue-in-cheek,

Bet on the second favourite, that won by a streak!


But despite all her misdemeanour’s, and folks she did screw,

Those she’s conned lent her more money, yours truly too!

Gave her furniture, money to pay for her electricity, it’s true,

Despite her utility bills being paid by benefits she did accrue!

Crime doesn’t pay? It did for one, I can tell you!


Yet fond memories remain of those bitter days,

Of Mother and her strange odd ways,

She was much loved by waifs and strays,

She’s give them 6d of her last shilling in many ways,

Just a shame the shilling was nicked… oh happy days!