Humour

The VAT Fiddle! Ode & Cartoons

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

It took seven years, to get sorted. How can the morons expect me to be in debt for VAT, with about 0.6% VATables of the total sales of £900 weekly, and demand £19k from me… well!

Gits!

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I woke with a new papule!

So, here are a few photos I managed to take miraculously… Boring noshes, one taken today… after which the Lumix decided to not let me take anymore, just when I was almost getting excited and thinking I’d cracked it! Frustration grows! What have I done it?

Sunday – Josies Nosh

Incidentally, after serving up Josie’s and eating my own lunch, I suddenly felt so tired. I was feeling fine before this. Then had a mind-blank and was incapable of doing virtually anything. Didn’t touch the computer for about 15 hours! Until this morning. Mind you, I woke up feeling back to normal. But decided I had to get to see the Doctor! And waited until Richard came in, hours late. He’d got in a pickle that delayed him. But the lad was really looking worn out and so tired, he did not offer to ring the surgery. He just wanted sleep, something the lad had problems with without having to do a 16hr shift. He’s done his best and asked their head office to ring me or let me know he’d be late.

 Bit of cock-up there on my behalf. I did get a phone call but thought it was the spammer man, he had the same Asian accent, and I thought he said he was ringing from Virgin, so rang off! Oh, dear, it must have been Meridian, he said! I felt terrible about that. But it’s no wonder I want someone to phone the surgery, is it? So when Richard had gone, I rang Deana. Explained the problem with last Friday’s mind-blank when I was at Bulwell and another today. Also quickly mentioned the cataract getting worse, as was the hearing. Also, I reminded her that she failed to turn up Friday. Poor gal was ultra-busy, s I expected from the tone of her voice on Freitag. Bless her, she only asked ME – to phone and remind her in the morning! Me! For her to call and ring the surgery for me. Hahaha! Worra life, innit? It never gets any easier. Oh, the photos…

My nosh, before the funny turn.

Jelly and once cream for afters. By gum, I’m gourmet… is that the right word to use?

Today’s lone photo! Of the CorelDraw screen, This was taken five minutes before CorelDraw crashed yet again! Humph! Mind-blanks, Little Inchies Fungal Lesion Bleeding, Cataract Cathy making things hard work, and a devil of a lob to get any help getting things done… that made me think. What am I having for a nosh? I wish I’d bought more of the roast vegetable cottage pie meals now. They were excellent tasting.

No stopping me I ordered some more from Morrison’s via Amazon. If I go on like this, it’ll be a struggle to pay the Carer’s costs. I blame Dementia Doreen, personally. I hate her and Cataract Cathy. Gragknagles! I know what I’ll have. I’ve two vegetable burgers left that I could not see the use-by date of. Richard looked this morning, and I think he said a day left on it, that and some sliced potatoes, mayhap?

Took me hours to get this blog done, but I did enjoy it, apart from CorelDraw letting me down again. Each time does that, it’s another half hour finding out where I saved the last one, then save the new rescued one in the same name.

I shall now start cooking the meal. Done that. Now to get this finished, titivated and posted.

Evening All!

Whoops, forgot the funnies. Here they are…

Accountants (Abdul) Joke.

TTFNski!

Ode & Diary: Tuesday 16th August 2022 Cataract Investigation!

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

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04:10hrs: I stirred and awaited the brain to do the same. It took me a while. And not easy either, for the cragwrankling Thought Storms attacked the near dormant brain. 
I cringed when I realised they were off again. And did nothing… I just bided my time, doing my best to ignore them. I could have done with some men in white coats and some form of guidance councillor at that moment.
Half an hour or so later, the need for the Porcelain Throne rescued me from the clutches of the verbal put-downs. Despite their continuing to insult and malign me, the need to get to before anything started of its own accord if you see where I’m coming from.
Stubbing my toe en route was another benefit in clearing away the Thought Storm.
When I realised that things would be reluctant yet again, I grabbed the crossword book to take my mind off the thoughts. Which was a total failure, because my eyes are that bad now, I cannot see to read the clues any longer!
So, I concentrated my efforts on trying to force things along. I soon forgot all about the storming. As it happens, I also forgot all about using the porcelain Throne. The only thing that leaked out was a few droplets of blood. That’s comforting, knowing I’ve got to go through this agony and rigmarole again later.

I got the waste bags made up and placed them near the door. Returned to get the computer on and remembered the Ocado delivery was due shortly. So returned to the front door and moved the waste bags onto the three-wheel walker.
It’s been a bit of a bugger up to now. Humph!
Ah, something went right! The sphygmomanometerisationing revealed a rater super set of figures!
SYS 137, DIA 63, Pulse 81°f. Which brought the NHS check graph down into the Amber Zone. My body temperature was all but spot on target, yet again, too! As I smiled to myself… I took a sharp intake of breath; and off to the wet room. Another false-alarm!
On both visits, and I was sitting down for ages each time, there was no wee-weeing. This has never happened before? So, I now have reluctant evacuations front and rear… Oh, dear! Four days ago, Trotsky Terence was in full charge, and Wee-Wee Willy was constantly flowing, often in torrents. I feel I need both bladder and bowels evacuating now…
What have I eaten that’s not my usual food? The only two things I can think of are that I bought tonic water due to the shortages last week in the heat wave of bottled water.

Ocado delivery arrived. Substituted bread and toilet rolls.
The bread I was not happy about. The lady said they had substituted Polish Sourbread with a ‘Plain’ loaf of sourdough. This is the ‘Plain’ Loaf. Malted Wheat, great lumps of something in it. Grains, seeds, quinoa, and rock solid cost twice as much as the Polish one! Some like granite. More a sort of sliced house brick than a loaf of bread.
Then the recycled toilet rolls were subbed with ‘Plain’ TPs. Which were triple-layered and not plain nor recycled.
At the time, I took one out to have a look. Far too thick, like me.
I think you can see the squashed, crushed state of the Strawberry cakes in the link box.
The Milk Roll loaf, with (Richard pointed out later) one day’s life left on it!
Also, the mushroom pie was replaced with a Chestnut, mushroom, tomato, quinoa & baby onions topless pie.
Later, the ‘new’ vegan burgers that I later quinoa-filled, tasteless crap! Foul, .
The fridge was looking a bit healthier food-wise.

Arrived late on, and he’s had extra calls to make. Managed a little natter and laughed, but not much. He took the bags out for me when he departed.

I started updating the blog. Which went some like: ‘Wrong key’, misspelling, ‘Wrong key’, forgot the word, ‘The wrong key’, shakes hit tons of keys, ‘Wrong key’, the sight making things so slow, Wee-wee, ‘Wrong key’, ‘Wrong key’, ‘Wrong key’, Wee-wee, lost word, misspelling, ‘Wrong key’, ‘Wee-wee’,,,  and eventually IO had to give up for a break.

Made an order for Iceland for Friday for 08:00>10:00hrs delivery. Put it in the calendar.

Out of the blue, unexpectedly quickly, I felt so tired and drained. I just had to stop, and I had a sit down to unwind and hopefully get a bit of kip. My new Nokia N73 5G mobile phone chirped and flashed. It was Obergruppenfhüreress and Lap-Top Dancer Julie. To tell me that Carol, who is standing in for the frightening laundress lady Esther, who is on holiday for three weeks in Africa, will not be calling today, as she has to wait in for a plumber, can she come tomorrow instead. “No problem; I hope she gets it sorted”.

I got down in the recliner a fell asleep fast than I have for many a month, Fair enough, it was only for two very welcome hours, and I woke with a pang of hunger, so has a look at the food selection in stock.
The Biona Black bean Cashew burgers caught my eye. I decided to cook two of them and eat them both in between two slices of Milk Roll Loaf bread. Some raw garden peas and BBQ sauce for a dip!

Well pleased with my decision, I got the spy-glass out to read the cooking instructions.

Well, a lot of help they were. “Cook in a pan until they are brown!” They were brown now! The oven was already at 200°, so I put them in, and ten minutes later, they were burnt! Unless I’d had another mind-blank?
The burgers fell apart, and whatever seeds were hurtful to my teeth. They seemed well-cooked in such a short time and will not find room in my little flat again! Terrible Thought: I’ve got two more yet in the fridge... The peas were beautiful, the broken, crushed cake made a mess when I ate them, but they still tasted alright. 4/10 Flavour rating.

I found a letter in the postbox. It was a copy og information forwarded to my Doctor… Oh, what’s her name now… erm… I think she’s a she; I’ve not seen her for years. Good innit, Peripheral Neuropath, Duodenal ulcer, Anne Gyna, Reflux Roger, Cataracts Cathy, Saccades, Glaucoma Glenis, Dying Neurotransmitters Nigel, and Diabetes; I may have missed some off this list, so many ailments. And my Doctor has spoken to me on the phone three times in as many years! Twice at the surgery.
I’ll have to find the time to see what all the words mean in the letter. Such as Astigmatic, pinhole, Toric lens, viscote, & decompensation.

I’ve just been for another failed visit to the and saw how the flaming feet had blown up again. Huh, Gragknagles! They’re stinging a bit as well. This morning the water retention I thought was going down so well. The ankle ulcers are both calm, though. Underfoot is tender than ever.
I’ve been very good with cutting down the caffeine; I haven’t had a single mug of tea all day!
I noticed we’d had a bit of rain today.
Val arrived in a quiet mood. Got the meds done in record time. I asked her if she would like the Sourdough bread that was delivered this morning. She pondered and then said yes. Helped herself to several treats; she nearly filled the bag. Hehehe! Took the waste bag with her to the chute.

Produced a late-night mechanical concert for me. Finishing with a worthy thud.

I went into Sherlock Holmesian Mode: I put the computer back on and asked Mr Google: Why is mannitol given in cataract surgery?
Replied: Abstract. 100 ml of 20% Mannitol is given between 30 and 60 minutes prior to surgery, effectively lowering the intraocular pressure and increasing the anterior chamber depth. Ah, I expected as much.

What is Astigmatic vision? 

Astigmatism occurs when either the front surface of the eye (cornea) or the lens inside the eye has mismatched curves. Instead of having one curve like a round ball, the surface is egg-shaped. This causes blurred vision at all distances. You might have astigmatism in one or both eyes. It’s often accompanied by other refractive errors like myopia (nearsightedness). Myopia is caused by an eye shape that’s too long — if the eye is misshapen, chances are good the cornea is too. Well, that’s plain enough.

What is a Toric Lens?
Toric lens implants are one of the most popular technologies for cataract patients with astigmatism. They are designed to improve how well you see without eyeglasses in the distance, as compared to if you had a standard lens implant. Too tired for further concentrating. Glad I did some research into what the words meant. I’m much wiser now.

I got my head down in the second-hand, £300 charity shop-bought, gungy beige-coloured, rickety, c1968 recliner. At some time, I must have got up cause I found this moonshot in the morning. I can take better photos when I’m asleep, it seems. Hahaha!

A magnificent sleep! Six hours straight through! Unless I woke up to take the photo of the moon?

Evening all!

Inchcock Today: Thursday 11th August 2022. Diary & Odes

/ Inchie / 49 Comments

I can’t understand why my Odes have not yet made me famous in the rhyme and poet-master circles. All that effort, too!

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0605hrs: I rose with thanks for being allowed to get in five hours of undisturbed time with Sweet Morpheus. Passing wind belched and detached my weight-ladened stomached body from the c198 recliner, and off to the wet room, and the . Where I passed the first half-hour of waking. Trotsky Terence had been beaten into submission by Constipation Konrad.
Oh, the agony! I couldn’t even try to do the crossword this morning. (It can take one’s mind off of the suffering sometimes, but not today). Things eventually started moving… a little, then stopped! I counted the crack in the ceiling plaster… same as last time, 36. Now there’s a thought; How can not remember so many things but am almost certain I could remember a silly, pointless detail like that? Back to the pain coping… I had visions of the bloody mess I was going to find when… or if the evacuation is ever completed.
I started talking to the evacuation product (I know, daft as a brush!). My faith was failing. Then I started wot think of the most ridiculous things, like, why have I never been interested in lepidoptery? Who’d have believed I’d end up with Doreen Dementia? Me! The calm one, the organizer, the carer…
The torpedo started coming out, and it was beyond my powers to slow or stop[ it. The pain grew worse and fortuitously. so did the escapage rate, and the last three-quarters of the turd almost flew out with a sickening thud as it landed, blocking the porcelain! 
Ah, blessed relief! I thought it would never free itself. Now to check on any damage done in the procedure!
. After all, that grinding pain and the gigantic, gargantuan torpedo having been slowly, oh so slowly, forced through and out, Harold’s Haemorrhoids had barely been bleeding! A few thin streaks of the old haemoglobin on the toilet paper, that was all. There was even little stinging pain, either! How come? All a part of the mysteries of Winwood Heights, the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions and other grotesqueries haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchcock, to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare, worry and confuse me! I suppose!

I got the take, with confidence from somewhere, that the results would not be anywhere as near as scary as yesterday mornings. I just knew not to worry. My EQ, telling me?)
Fair enough, it was still high, but if I remember rightly, it was 36 points less than Tuesdays was.
The body temperature once again was as near to spot on that you wouldn’t notice the difference!

I lost a couple of hours of the morning altogether. I had been doing something as I found later I’d written things on the remember-pad, but it’s in double-Dutch! And the kettle was hot when I went in the kitchen, but I’d not made any tea? Thankfully, these Mind-Blanks don’t happen very often. But they do concern me and are on the list to ask the Doctor about. But can I get someone to call the surgery for me? No! The trouble is, I forget all about it minutes later, until the next instance.

Arrived in a bit of a rush, but he never rushes me, bless him. But it meant quick talking and my missing some comments. But the lad had had a word with Deana about the paperwork he took with him to study and left it with Deana. No point in me keeping it; I can’t read it. He said that Deana will try to call on me later. This is out of sequence, as many other comments will be, no doubt/ I got very Confusion Konrad this afternoon and evening. Deana called later to confirm the booking for the lift with Easy Link. 10:30hr pick-up, to be outside to be collected. Later on, a nice-sounding lady land-lined me to confirm as well. That was nice! ♥

The steam-train building Herbert from the flat above was in fine form all day. No long periods of disruption, I must say. Just the regular clumps and banging, metallic sounds intermingled with some mini-concertos of a tap-tapping nature. Oh, and a cappella: Without orchestral accompaniment.

I just came across this writing on the notepad from hours ago. Any help would be appreciated as to what the heck it was I was recording; thank you. The dashes are undecipherable words: “Delug— 90% temp —– — —- — hoen –stly, —- forced sa–ey. Temp—— 94!” I may find time to have another go at making something out of it. Tsk!

  Now, for the cock-up of the day! If they gave out medals for Mind-Blanks, Forgetting and Insanity, I’d be in line for a gold medal after this incident.
The intercom rang forth: Someone telling me that they had a delivery for me.
❶ But the release button, yet again, did not work to admit the chap. I tried a few times, then said I’ll come down to you.
❷ I had to get some trousers and shoes on, checked the intercom and could see the man still there, and rushed a little too much, and clouted Shuddering-Should-Shirley on the door frame! Agony again!
❸ Got down to the foyer, but no signs of anyone there.
❹ I assumed he had gotten on while I was faffing about to get down to him… Rushing again, I got the walking stick entangled in the lift elevator door. I now have a split-handled wooden walking stick.
❺ Got up to find the man looking around and bags near the flat door.
❺ The man departed, and I started to get the bags into the kitchen. Then it dawned on me when I saw the Co-op label on some foods – I don’t recall making a Co-op order at all. I’ve just had a Morrison one yesterday. And, a few days before that, an Iceland one? Mayhap I did this during my Mind Blank hours?
❻ Well, it had all the things that I might have ordered on the order. I must have made it, stupidly, cause there was not a thing I didn’t already have in stock on this delivery!
I’d even bought some bonkers-costly Mushroom Risotto.
More flipping chips and potatoes, too! I’d even got some more bottles of spring and tonic water!

Just as I was calming down after giving myself a verbal blasting for being so stupid… the intercom burst into like again.
It was another delivery, Amazon. And the Doctor thinks I do not have Dementia ‘properly’? I hope she gets it right when I snuff it, and she has to decide if I’m properly dead or not! Hehehe!
Depression came over me.
The chap had delivered the Lemon Sherbets disinfectants.
No problem with this one. I remember ordering these. I think! No, I did, definitely. Positively. Oh, dearie me!.

The temperature outside reached 92°f.
I gathered together all of the paperwork and reminder notes and what leaflets and letters had come in over the last few days, with the intention of perusing them to see which needed any assistance to read and understand.
.Which didn’t take me long to work out. Cause Cataract Cathy and Dementia Doreen made sure all of them needed some help. Some needed telephone calls; well, Deafness Duncan takes care of that.

Kicked off again. Tap-tapping, morse-code like this time. The stuck-up, toffee-nosed, self-important gentleman varied it for a minute or two; he decorated the tune with some clung-thuds. Kind of him. Ah, tap-tapping is back now.

Getting late now. Aha, ♫ Oh, Susan ♫ just sounded. It was evening who’d arrived. He seemed a smidgeon low to me. I might be wrong. I tried the jokes, my world-famous and light-hearted approach, but I couldn’t get a smile. So I offered the lad a bottle of shandy from the fridge. I had to make do with a half-hearted imitation smile. But that’ll do for me, I thang-you!

I’d like to know what’s making those noises above. They almost sound like he’s sat up there with a stick to keep tapping on the floor? I hope he’s not poorly.

Better get the ablutions done. I’ve already missed the first Diabetes lesson. I’ve already missed the first Diabetes lesson. I fear leaving it until morning again, with the transport also coming as mercifully, the top man, Nathanial, has told me he will stay behind to talk me through what I missed on the first course. Jolly decent of him, too!
State of the feet before getting the ablutions done here on the left. Off belatedly, to the wet room.
Three days of growth of the beard took some shifting. Only a few nicks. The teeth were painful to clean. Showering went okay, no knocks, falls, or Dizzy Dennis visits. Many many dropsies, mind you. Turned off the shower and dried off.
Yes, well… all were hurtful, to say the least. Germolene, Germoloid, and the worst of the lot… Little Inchies fungal lesion ointmentating! Arthur Itis and Cartilage Kathy were treated to some Phorpain rub.

I took an after-shower shot (Try saying that when you’ve had a few, Hehehe!) of the pins and plates.
Looking like they had been polished with Brasso or something of that ilk. Haha!

I settled in the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously, grungy coloured, haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable of, not working, recliner. Put on a Dr Who DVD and was soon sleeping away like a baby – I wee’d myself overnight!

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Inchcock Today: Wednesday 10th August 2022 Ode to Doreen: Part 21.3⅚th

/ Inchie / 14 Comments

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I stayed up for a total of 29hrs; Gawd knows when I can finally get my head down again. CorelDraw mishaps, the main reason, and my stupidity in handling it. Today, CorelDraw has improved. But I still can’t get caught up with the blogging.
I did get yesterday’s finished; this afternoon. And am now making a start on this one at18:15hrs! So, note mong night in the offing! So this diary will be a bit shorter. Methinks I’ll never gerrit dun if not. Sorreh! Did you see that? I reverted to my early years Meadows upbringing slang! Hehehe!
The legs, ankles and feet were not looking so good, yet they were lass painfully than yesterday. One heck of shock after doing the sphygmomanometerisationing!
Glagnangles! The SYS was 186, DIA 63, & pulse 74. Blimey! The body temperature was great, though! Went on the NHS analysis site; interested in what they would comment on this figure.
I wonder if there will be anyone at the Riverside Health Centre on Friday who I can inveigle into doing a check for me on their machine? Well, you never know yer luck… No, hang on, it’s me we’re talking about, innit? Okay, forget it!
Arrived while I was making a mug of tea, my first one for 18 hours! Oh, I am good!
I told Richard about the eight pages of instructions from the C4N transport. The only bit I could read of the eight two-sided A4 paper and leaflet was what it is going to cost me. Very confusing it was. Richard had a quick look; he didn’t have much time, he’s got another client to see. Five minutes later, he said, “I can’t understand it either, Gerry! a right load of confusing waffle!” He kindly stuffed the paperwork into his bag of treats, telling me he’d have a look later on, and let me know if sorts owt out, in the morning. Bless his Cotton Socks!

The Morrison order arrived via the Amazon shopperess. I got the packages in the kitchenette.
I went for a wee-wee and returned to find liquid had been flowing from one of the bags, covering the kitchen floor. I’m not having a lot of luck these last two days, am I? A bottle of Tonic Water caps came off, and a litre of Tonic Water with a hint of lime had soaked through two of the other bags, and I had a right job sorting it out.
Got flowers put in the cool hallway for the warden’s treats.
Then made a start on sorting out the product delivered. kicked off.
Just as I was moving the things in this photo, as I was picking up the pin sprays… the top of one of the bottles shot off; at least I smell nice now, too nice for my comfort.

But dare not go put in these clothes with that sweet smell all over my torso and trousers. Tsk! I ordered a packet of vegan sausages and got a cheapo-ready meal of two sausages & mash in gravy. The limit on you could buy of Mash World chips (fries) as one packet!
The oven-baked fries were so unfrozen I felt the chips breaking up.
As I said earlier, I’m not doing very well lately. Humph!
Tried to phone Warden Deana, then Warden Julie, but both calls were diverted, so they must be up to the neck in it!

Got the fridge and freezer filled up. Tried to phone Warden Deana, then Warden Julie, but both calls were diverted, so they must be up to the neck in it!

Many Mind-Blanks now; I’m feeling right weary. The cataract eyes are making it even worse to see and concentrate. was so persistent today, and Reflux Valve Roger was having great fun with me.
Tried to phone Warden Deana, then Warden Julie, to get help with the transport letter reading and ask them if they could phone the Doctors for me. (Anne Gyna and Reflux Valve Roger), but both calls were diverted, so they must be up to the neck in it!
Deana rang back, and oddly enough, she said she was up to the neck in it today! I told her of the flowers and Strawberries, and if the DVT nurse came early and the Amazon nuts arrived in time, I’d nip them to the office for her.

Deana told me she arranged the transport for Friday’s Riverside Diabetes meeting. She needed the appointment list to arrange the others. Her voice told me she was up to the neck in it. She said she’s pop up later to pick things up. But never made it, up to the neck with it, you see.
Evening arrived as I was getting my din-dins out of the oven. A gorgeous but ridiculously costly roast Vegetable Risotto. I forgot to take a photo of it. Gave Valerie the strawberries and flowers. She was tickled pink. Haha!

I ate the risotto meal and, for a laugh, took a selfie of eating the last succulent forkful! There was not enough of it to get me. But £4 for a piddling meal is a bit much, thanks to Morrison’s, for the leaking tonic water. The crushed to bits cheese biscuits and squashed swiss rolls, too!

I cleared away the food things and took this snap of the view of the just missed sunsetting.
A quick wash, no shower or shave yet again today!
I must make sure tomorrow that I can get a mega-ablutioning session in. Not as easy as it sounds nowadays. Everything is taking so much longer to get done, thanks to the ailments and dementia-Doreen!

I put on a Dr Who DVD, and I was, not surprisingly soon, off into the land of nod. Where I stayed for nearly six hours of bliss!
Are things taking a turn for the better here?

Go forth and have a fiesta,
Fundamentally, fun!

Inchcock Today: Not a Good One!

/ Inchie / 2 Comments

We’ll start with the Ode,
Cause I’m tired and old,
Sorry, there’s no centrefold…
Oh, dearie me, I just scowled.
Just stubbed my toe; I let a naughty word go…
Read about another murderer being paroled!

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Hope this one gets a smile or even a laugh…

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Today felt like the longest day – ever!

0525hrs: I sprang awake with the usual verbal Huh! In mental confusion and a mind-muddle. That’s also a regular awakening scenario.
However, I was soon out of the c1968 recliner. And after a regulation wee-wee; The brain seemed to come partially together, and I remembered both the Amazon order was coming today and the delightful Carol to do the washing in place of Esther. The Amazon order should be the gigantic bottle of Ben’s hickory smoked barbecue sauce on its way to me. I adore the flavour of this one. It may not as strong as some other sauces are, but it’s smoked to perfection! And along with the wonderful Stubbs Hickory Liquid Smoke, will be used in the chilli I make. This passes Josies and my taste buds test to a tee! I also use it on the veggie burgers. Oh, I do live well… That might be a slight exaggeration. Hehe!

I checked the state of the plates first, not the dinner plates, my plates of meat, feet. They looked good, but they were painful underfoot. Having said that, They’ve been a lot worse, so I’m not going to grumble!
For some weird reason, I remembered the mould on the bottom of the shower area. I got the Mr Muscle Spray and used it all, covering the affected area. Then thought I’d leave it for the recommended 15 minutes and, naturally, I forgot all about it. Ahem! !

I made up the waste bags, then I cleaned the cooker top… I did think about cleaning the oven… but, well, you know how it is… Hehehe!

Arrived and inquired as he came through the door what that smell was. At this point, I remembered the mould spray I’d lathered the wet room and floor with. Richard went in, looked around and turned to me with that famous half-smile and a he is, look on his face! He pointed out that I’d used shower gel, not a mould cleaner. He helpfully told me to nip down to Sherwood and buy some. Hehe!

It was so late in the night that by the time I made a start on this blog, my eyes were making it so hard for me to see properly. The notes on the ‘remember-pad’ have wriggling letters and words, so I’ll have to either guess or ignore what I cannot decipher. Sorry!

I’d not heard from HRH or Billum for a while. I was a little worried, so sent an email asking how things were – with hopes that they were okay. I love them both; they have such great personalities and are caring people.

Little did I know of what lay in store for me today. Ups and downers and more frustrations through things I did wrongly cost me dearly in time. I was up all day and night, trying to make things right again. Humph!

Carol, the ex-carer, who is standing in for Esther, came in, but of course, I could not hear her. Good job that I wasn’t using the bucket or medicating any bleeding areas at the time. I mentioned that it would be best if she pressed the doorbell before coming in. I spoke very matter-of-factly so as not to hurt her feelings. She apologised, and I said there is no need for that; you were not to know. She’s a lovely lady. She took the laundry for washing and said she will return. Bless her.

Now all the scribbling I’d done for over 14 hours was getting harder to read. I think I see “To the waste chute with Richard… Stubbed Toe and then mixed in. Back at the flat – Carol returned with the washing. But there is a lot of writing that means nothing to me now. Grungleturds! Carol and I had a natter, and she left the bag in the junk room for me. I still haven’t got around to taking the clothes out as hung up yet! It’d been the sort of day.

I do remember a … Oh, yes! As Carol was leaving, I, yes me! Realised I’d not paid her yet! Which I did, post haste… well, as soon as I found where I’d left my money, that took the edge off of my smugness, Hahaha! Another line of nothingness on the pad.

As I sat down to check on the Amazon delivery tracker, Anne Gyna kicked off, and she made a good job of it. So much so that like yesterday, I took gulps of Pentax, and having taken an extra Beta-Blocker, I dare not take any more, so took a Codeine 30g, but she’s been at me ever since. Even now, so many hours later, Anne is letting me know she’s still there, and it’s nearly midnight now! Being worried about Billum and HRH isn’t helping, I suppose. Worra day!

I then sorted it out. Better late than never.
The figures looked okay to me, and the body temperature was almost spot-on. Surely the NHS result configurator will show this time a lower overall figure? I put in the numbers on their site, And sure enough, I was nearly in the amber zone. Yee-Ha!
I had an email come in while I was making this graph copy. It was from the wonderboys at Iceland – telling me the order is on its way, but with a few changes – confusing ones at that!

At least I got some No-Bull mushroom steaks and Vegan Ice cream. Not that I needed the ice cream at all; after finding out how much I’d already got in the freezer when I put the goods away later when they arrived. Well, would it be impossible to put them away before they arrive? Hahaha! It’s also so sad that the best burgers, the No-Moo brand, have stopped being stocked by Iceland – The Gits! I can’t find any of the other shops that are stocking them! Humph! The Iceland order arrived. The chap went through and put the food bags into the kitchen for me.

I thanked him and offered a cold drink for both men. Vodka and lime and a G & T were selected.
I had an extra problem on my hands now. Reading the short life dates on the chips, potatoes, burgers and what was the other thing? I forget now; it seems like days since the delivery to me, with no sleep for so long. Grumps!
I got the things in the fridge as quickly as I could. I needed a bit of jiggling about to make everything fit in there.
I spotted the vegan cheese that I bought earlier. Must get that used up.
You see here on the left what I mean about my being overstocked on the vegan ice cream? That is because they  (Iceland) have stopped selling the No-Moo burgers, and I suspect that the ice cream might be the next to be abandoned. I have little confidence in Iceland’s system.

Got on the computer, at last, to start finalising yesterday’s blog. I can see another early morning to bed job for me again. But soon got disturbed. But on this occasion, I welcomed it, for it was Carol returning the laundry. This is when I got smug at remembering I’d not paid her, then looking somewhat of a , when it took me five minutes to find my cash so I could pay Carol. Tsk!

I found that two letters had been posted; one was the DVT Warfarin Anticoagulation figures and doses. The other was from the CT4N transport.

.

Some of the writing on the leaflet from CT4N I could read. The graph with the prices for each trip out and in, or in and out, was clearly seeable. So, I assume I can use my oldies bus pass to get the cheaper rate, I think. So, it will cost me £9 for each of the 24 sessions of the Diabetes Training or whatever it’s called.
I must see Deana tomorrow to see if she’s arranged a lift for each session for me. Cause I reckon it says I’ve got to ring them for each trip? The eight A4 double-sided pages on rules and actions needed to use them (DT4N) are just too small to read. I think I can feel Cataract Cathleen laughing inside my head. Hahaha!

He’s now playing away at drilling, and knock-knocking, with the occasion clattering sound effects. Not getting on well with the blogging at all here. However, I did finally get the Monday post done and sent off, 14 hours later than usual, to WP. Email links were sent out, and then the “Oh, Susana” tune chimed away.

It was the Amazon delivery. Well, a part of it anyway. The extra-large super-duper Ben’s hickory smoked barbecue sauce, my taste buds were tingling at the thought of it! It is mouth-wateringly tasty!
I think I must have got something wrong again when I ordered the writing pads. I’,m sure I used the steel ruler to measure that t the page size would be the same as the ones I’m using now… but no!
You see the pack of eight pads next to the BBQ sauce bottle – eight pads! The bottle of Ben’s is thicker than the pads are wide!
I think my Arithmophobia let me down again somewhere along the line in ordering these. Ah, well, I’m not really surprised. I’m just so annoyed with myself again!
Then the biggest time-coster of the day… …
Last week, I made up some of the tabs, like the Whoopsiedangleplop one above, in this colour, ready to use here. I can even remember when I did them. Straight after, the metal-tasting reflux came up, followed by a scary Dizzy Dennis bout. Within minutes things improved, but although I was close to getting my head down, I stayed up all night CorelDrawing and creating the tabs. (Truth is, I was weary of sleeping in case the reflux came up again). I am a cowardy-custard!) So today should have saved me time, not cost me it!
I went to use the first one and realised I made them all the wrong size. I thought at first, slightly annoyed again, I’ll just have to edit each one with a new size; time-consuming, yes, but a damned site better than having to spend literally hours making a new set… I thought. 
❶ I didn’t realise that the editor only allows you one edit per photo per graphic, and I could not alter them. ❷ But before I could start to create a new set, I had to clear the blog gallery of all the old ones, so they wouldn’t clash with the new ones! So, I did! ❸ Then, take all the old ones off of the hard-drive file to lighten the load on that, so I did! ❹ Double checking that the file and gallery were free of all the old ones, and at just the wrong moment shook me silly; I’ve no idea what I might have pressed as the cursor shot across the screen… but Corel Draw closed itself down!  I genuinely think I might have cried! ❺ As if she was mocking me, kicked off!

❻ I stopped, and a Dracula Depression fought its way through the pain to get at me. And a sad Inchy just sat in the chair here, saying nothing, but the Thought-Storms were raging. I felt so sorry for myself, then I felt ashamed, and it was me sinking to a new low… ❼ Silly, but I believed a mug of tea would somehow help and went to the kitchen to put the kettle on… ❽ I didn’t make it, for fortuitously I got a en route… which made me even angrier, I’m not one for getting angry, but this time I think I was; everything blurred for a short while as if I was walking through fire and smoke… I’m not joking! The pain I was in must have triggered some defence mechanism I’ve not had before. For I suddenly resolved myself not to be beaten – and returned to the computer, and admittedly with a certain amount of incertitude, restarted CorelDraw. ❾ Of course, then I had lost the last saved version of the file! So, I saved this saved version to the old name, and things looked good. Hope was in the air! ❿ Then, all I had to do was pray that neurotransmitters and SSS didn’t bother me again and spent well over two more hours getting the new set of tabs completed!
I’d not had a shave or wash; I was in agony and so tired… yet this new spirit of resistance won the day, and I could get on with this blog once again. A SUPER . But was soon disturbed, in the nicest way…

By Cheeky Charley, the cheerful tonight carer. Because last night, I had dropped a tablet, tonight she hand-fed them to me, one at a time. She washed my stomach, where some blood had dropped earlier in the day when bile came up, and Charley made sure I was feeling okay before she left, all chirpy and gay! I think tonight she was going on the Girlie-Night-Out, and if so, I bet she was the star of the show, wherever they went. Hahaha! ♥

Back to the blogging grindstone, but a happier lad… well, I say lad… I was so worn out mentally, but Anne Gyna eased off at last, and then I had a break and checked on the emails. To Billum and HRH Lisa, they had replied to my email, letting me know they were okay and recovering from a nightmare hospital visit for Lisa. The nightmare was the hotel they were staying in. So much noise they could not get any sleep. Youngsters with their music and noise. Which is so sad. Between the three of us, who all suffer from sleep deprivation, and all three of us get it at the same time! I’m just thankful their absence was not caused by illness or accident; they both have more than enough to cope with as it is. This news kept me going. I checked the email again.

Billum let me know a bit more of his Whoopsiedangleplops. HRH and he went through. A sad Tale of Woe. We three share that trait. Hehehe!


Evening All!

Inchcock Today: Sunday 7th August 2022 – Diary

/ Inchie / 2 Comments

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I woke in need of a wee-wee. Assessed the time I’d had sleeping; 3-hours… better than two!
While waiting for the after-leaking to stop, it took a while; I remembered the food delivery coming twixt 07:00>08:00hrs.
The feet and legs were looking just fine this morning. So good, I may advertise them as a pair of 1947 legs and feet for sale. Hehe!

So, I got the sphygmomanometerisationing tended to. Then, speedily got the body temperature taken before the sphygmomanometer turned itself off to catch both sets.
When I entered the results into the NHS DVT site, it would not let me put in 39 for the DIA, just told me that DIA has to be a minimum of 40. Please check your figures! So, I put 40 in to get a graph up. How frustrating to know that I must be dead with a 39 Reading. Of course, it didn’t bother me in the slightest.
At least I know that’s two of us old uns that is still alive. The arrogant, noisy snotty Herbert from above started a tap-tapping, clunk concerto. So he’s not snuffed it yet, either.
The view from the kitchenette window was so like an oil or water painting this morning. A Constable, mayhaps? Which reminds me, I’ve not seen a policeman on foot in Sherwood since January. No wonder crime has risen!
The intercom flashed, and it was the William Morrison order arriving. One of the most disappointing deliveries, other than Iceland’s, of course, that I’ve ever had. Here’s the sad, hardly believable story.
The men, through the goods into the two delivery boxes, naturally with cakes going in first, to be squashed by blah and water bottlers.
Got the things sorted and put away, but t’was not easy.

They had some of the Jacob’s Leicester Cheese cheddar biscuits. I bought four packets, as they are my favourites. Taking them out of the box. Do you notice only three on the counter?
Glad to report they have not substituted the Roast Vegetable Risotto, another of my personal favourites. That’s because one packet was torn open, and broken biscuits were all over the other food. I got them in a lidded tub and threw the other emancipated bits of bikkies into the waste bag.
Then, disappointed, they had swapped the vegan mushroom pate with a caramelised pork & onion version. Huh!. Still, Richard can have that in the morning.
The fridge looked mighty low in stocks, even after I’d got the fresh foods packed away!
The three packets of mini rolls were reduced to two; they were crushed but not as bad as the third packet, which had burst open, and I ended up washing off the sticky goo from other items delivered. By the time I’d sorted things out, I’d eaten a load of broken cheddar biscuits, a whole six mini rolls from the burst open and pre-mashed cakes. It all came back to why I stopped using Morrison direct and went to Amazon. But Morrison does not offer all their range when using Amazon, and when I read they had some Leicester flavoured cheddars, I just had to have some! Cragknangles! Sorry I bothered now!

MEAL-PREPPING: I spent the next few hours preparing Josie’s Chilli dinner. A bit of a mind-testing job… Why? I’ll tell yer!
①: The Iceland mushrooms that still had two days in-date showing; had shrivelled and gone grey. Comically, they had a Guarantee of Freshness sticker on the pack! So I had to use canned ones, which threw out my timing to get other things to be ready simultaneously.
②: Getting the potatoes done separately, as I usually do, so I can add some basil. I sliced them into Josie’s bite-size cubes and got a cut-down fingernail!
③: When I got the frozen leeks out of the freezer, attacked, I dropped the bag, and it burst on contact with the floor. I struggled to get things cleaned up, and Back-Pain-Brenda kicked in.
④: After much kerfuffling, sorting and swearing, I got the meal into one pan and on low heat to marinate.
⑤ By then, Guilt had set in when I realised all the cheddars and mini Swiss rolls I’d eaten while preparing Josie’s food.

Started blogging, at last. Not going too badly, and I went to check on Josie’s meal progress… I realised it was twenty-to-twelve already! I got the meal served up, cleaning up as I went along.
As I was lifting the finished tray… an epiphany! I noticed that the kitchen clock was showing 10:50hrs. Confused now! I nipped into the front room to check the watch time, and it concurred with the kitchen clock.
Had misread the wristwatch earlier. Oh, dear, what do I do now? I bravely took a gamble and delivered the meal to Josie’s door. Embarrassed beyond belief! I mumbled my pathetic Whoopsiedangleplop in getting the time wrong to Josie. I don’t think she was impressed. But she accepted the meal anyway. Like a guilty pet dog, I thanked her and scurried back into the flat. Red-faced and something of panic mode came over me.

Suddenly, I felt so tired, and a touch of Dizzy Dennis appeared. Waking up four hours later! Woken by the evening carer. I was not hungry, having digested the biscuits and cakes earlier, so I got myself down in the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner.

Arrived. Gave me the tablets one at a time but missed off the Codeine. Luckily I was more with after the kip, and I noticed. No nibbles or drinkies accepted in thanks, and he did not take the waste bags to the bin for me… and I forgot to ask her to. Tsk! She seemed a little withdrawn, just tired, methinks.

I got on with the updating of this blog. Well, this is going to take some time. Luckily the most activity was me, sleeping. Hahaha! Got the post done eventually.

Over an hour or so of slogging away on the computer, I took these three pictures of the sunsetting from the kitchenette window.
I liked the last one.

The legs, feet, and ankles were slightly inflamed after days of calmness.

I think an ulcer is doing its best to erupt on the left ankle now. The right one looks and feels a bit raw, so I took off my trews. It’s hot tonight, and I’ve got the balcony doors wide open.

I had a bash at the Snippets blog; I might get it finished. Then again… (I didn’t, but I did it in the morning).
Made a simple nosh. Curried chips (fries), tomatoes and fresh raw garden peas. I’d found eight escaped peas at the last count (Monday morning). The highlight was the one I discovered in the wee-wee bucket…Haha! Beats me: the bucket was about five feet from the recliner where I shelled and ate the peas and meal!
The last photograph of the evening sky taken from the kitchenette window. Bootiful Nature!

With the nodding of this afternoon, sleep did not come very easily or quickly. It did eventually, belatedly putting the TV on, helped, I think. Soon as the adverts came on, I was off into the land of nod!

Yee, Haa!

Inchcocks Local News Snippets – Comments & Odes

/ Inchie / 2 Comments

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –More to follow…

You could almost finish the sentence for the detective investigating what happened, can’t you? “Somebody should recognise the men for us. We can’t do everything ourselves… Excuse me, a phone call coming in might be important… “Yes… erm, yes. No, no, no, hold the anchovies…”

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What’s the law regarding having animal sex?

……………….Scum!…………………

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Inchcock Today: Tuesday 2nd August 2022

/ Inchie / 74 Comments

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TUESDAY 2nd AUGUST 2022

07:20hrs: I burst back into the world of woes with the regulation jump, jerk and jabberwockies. Realising how late it was, I climbed out of the £300, second-hand bought, c1968, nauseously beige-coloured, not-working, rusty, rickety, crumb-holder of a tatty recliner, was on the way to unlocking the door for Carer Richard and I had to nip into the wet room.
The actual evacuation was even easier than the last three days or so. But messier, you can’t win them all.
It was the worry over the water flood in the room that spoilt my pleasure with the rare good Throne visit. The water does not seem to lessen at all overnight, and, I admit, it made me nervous to walk in the water to get to the sink for a stand-up wash and shave. I chickened out. Cowardy cowardly custard! I can remember a year or so ago when the drain stopped working, and my going in to get the ablutions done… Mostly I remember the walking stick slipping in the water and my falling and entangling myself with the sock glide. The cuts and bruises took ages to clear up.

Hopefully, the maintenance will arrive today to have a look at the shower problem. I hope so because I must be ponging a bit by now, going showerless for so long. I’ve just had a sniff… Yep!

Arrived, and I’d forgotten again to unlock the door for him. He was in a rush this morning, so very little nattering was allowed. A inquired about his getting some sleep, but he was down in the mouth as he told me of the 24-hour gas works outside where he lives still drilling away and partiers making a racket again. Gave him some lager, teacakes and a bottle of Inchcock’s Special Brew. (That be a litre of Schweppes tonic water, with some orange cordial added, and stored overnight in the fridge for him). I thought it might cheer him up a bit; I got the first smile off of him as he left, taking the waste bags with him to the chute for me. Poor lad.

I got out the checking gear for sphygmomanometerisationing and the temperature reading.

I thought it was an idea to open the balcony windows to let a bit of fresh air in while I did the HCs… having not had a shower, no signs of any NCH maintenance man arriving yet. The howling wind encouraged me to close the doors again.

The results were heartwarming, all good readings again, and I was back down into the amber zone! The third time in three weeks!

Back on the computer, Cleaner Esther came in to get the laundry things. And she did not tell me off about a single thing! Mind you, she has to come back with the washing yet, so we’ll see. Hehe! She doesn’t frighten me!

Is back at his hobby, making steam trains for charity. I’m not sure if he makes so much noise on purpose or not. Hope he doesn’t kick off late at night again.

The ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ tune rang from the door chime. My heart gladdened and burst with joy at the thought of the Nottingham City Homes plumber arriving to sort the shower out for me… Humph! It was neighbour Josie returning the things from her Sunday-Monday meal delivery. It was nice to see her, but all I said was not heard nor answered; she had not got her hearing aids in. So I smiled effusively and often. I never did find out if she enjoyed the meals or not. Bless her!

A text message came through on my G6 Nokia Lumia 929 Icon mobile phone. Only joking!
I thought it might be from the NCH plumber (again, I am a fool), but no, it was EE trying to sell me some crap for when I go abroad to save money! Another flutter of hopefulness, utterly destroyed!

♫ Oh, Susana’s ♫ tune rang from the door chime. Aha! Is this the NCH plumber? Nope, it was Esther returning. She explained that she was going to South Africa for three weeks’ holiday but had someone who could cover for her. She phoned the lady, Carol, who came to check me out. Nice lady, an ex-carer, and agreed to do the washing for me after Esther had explained my problems. They left together. Now waiting for Esther to return, and she did. She’d spoken with Deana to see what day they may be coming. Deana has reported it. It’s just a case of waiting now… Fancy that!

With so little sleep, I am getting irritable with myself, I think. Not with others, just with me. Not much chance of catching up on the sleep, well, none! I’ve got to stay awake to have the slightest chance of hearing the intercom when they arrive. If I go into the wet room, I can’t hear it, so, no opportunity to address my filthy stinking body with a stand-up wash and shave… risky (tumbles, slips) anyway with water still on the wet room floor… I’m not a winner, am I?

I got creative when I went to make a brew of Glengettie Gold tea. Ailments have stopped me from taking landscape photographs long since. So I took two snaps of the view from the kitchen window, put them together and trimmed them with CorelDraw. This is the outcome: Rather semi-pleased with this.

After making the brew, it had gone a smidge dark, and I took this picture of the wonderful if dank clouds this afternoon.

Good for Esther to arrange cover for her holiday. Time to get something to eat, methinks. So I did!

I knew it would happen. I fell asleep. No idea if any plumbers arrived and could not get in cause I couldn’t hear the intercom. If I can wake up early enough in the morning, before the NCH plumbers arrive, I will have to risk having a shave and stand-up wash and be ready for the ‘Will they come today’ big wait-in. Again!

Sharon arrived to wake me up. Medications given. Cold drinkies from the fridge in appreciation chosen.

On with updating this blog. Then on the WP Reader, answered a mass of comments came in on this blog. Got them both replied to.

The landline rang; it was Nathaniel from the Diabetes Defence Team. It was hard to hear everything he said, but I think I got the gist of the call. He told me to attend the next session on Friday 12th August.  He would stay behind afterwards and talk me through the missed first session. Being aware of Dementia Doreen, I asked him to please rng Warden Deana to inform her, so she can arrange transport – explaining that I feared I may forget to ask her. He said he would, and I thanked him profusely.
Getting back may be dodgy, might need a bus or tram, then two more buses, to get back to the flats. Being a Friday evening, there will be no Wardens or Carer boss available if there are any problems encountered. I am a worry-guts!

I did it again. Drifted of to sleep, and I was woken by Carer Sarah. Who got the medications sorted, and I forced a treat from the fridge on the gal in thanks. ♥ I checked the texts on the super new G6 Nokia phone to see if any messages had come in from Nottingham City Homes about the shoer repair attendance. Nothing on it, so I hope I’ve not missed them. Sarah said they do not call on non-emergencies after 17:00hrs.

Which got me thinking. I could get a stand-up shave and wash when Sarah has gone. I can lock the front door and dive into the wet room, and if I take extra care throughout, can I still get the ablutions done? After dithering a while, I gave myself the go-ahead.
Worra, good session! I carefully blocked off the flood water with a mop bucket, and I pulled the shower curtain over the other area. Then if I wandered into the danger area without thinking, the noise of either obstacle should alert me to the danger – it worked a treat! Fair enough, it did cause a , but it saved me having a tumble. I was proud of myself for once. No bleeding teeth, not a single nick shaving! Yes! And, just a few small flecks of blood from Harold’s Haemorrhoids and Little Inches fungal lesion had not been bleeding at all – plenty of stinging, of course, when I medicated the little unused other than for wee-weeing thing. Hehehe!

I came out of the wet room, a cleaner, sweeter-smelling Inchie. (Aftershave, deodorant, and the smell of Germoloid and Germolene creams helped. Hehe!) And had o go back in for a rear-end evacuation. Always something, whenever I begin to feel smug! It was a delayed action, a sudden swift and spurting movement, and so messy as things got sprayed to amazing distances. Cleaning it up also needed care to avoid slipping on the standing water. Still, I got it all sorted. Grade Two .

I sky when I got into the kitchen, was looking fantasic. I’ll put the earlier shots I’d taken here, with the latest one last. I’ll make the shots a little larger, so they can be appreciated. What a change!

A feast for the eyes. When I get cataracts done, I can really
relish watching them again.

I carried in with updating and posted this blog off to WP.

Then made the Ode below.

Inchcock Today: The Dream, Odes & Diary

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

Nocturnal Visitors

I stirred from my slumber,
I’d had a dream, but could I remember,
I checked to make sure I was sober…
Nodded off again, I woke to discover,
Scribble on the notepad, needing to decipher.
The following facts are what I managed to gather…

Start of the dream, I looked out and got in a lather…
Ghosts and Goblins in the sky, but no bother…
Indeed I tried with them to have a blatherer…
Then did an instant maneuverer…
I was in the ground floor link corridor?
The ectoplasms, ghosts, got grotesquerer!
In walked animals, a skeleton, and a roboton!
Probably others too that I’ve forgotten!

Not the weirdest dream that I’ve begotten,
Didn’t bother me; they did nowt rotten…
Oh, the Grim Reaper, he looked sullen…
One of the creatures looked like a wivern.

As I woke up, I was thunderstrucken,
I fell out of the chair, hit my knee it got swollen,
I took a Codeine for the pain to dullen…

As I woke up, I was thunderstrucken,
I fell out of the chair, hit my knee it got swollen,
Better make a start on the diary; it’s gone eleven!

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Tuesday 12th July 2022

So, a modicum of concentration and determination developed, and I motored on with the Blood Pressure utilised the A&D Medical Supplies, made in Chinese sphygmomanometer. Then did the body temperature. All the results were of an acceptable standard this jolly Tuesday morning. In particular, the temperature and pulse are almost within the set result target ranges. Then after having a natter with the family, nada Lillie the Lamb checking on my notepad and keeping herself up to date, it is time to get the ablutions done.
I stripped off (I do a lot of that, you know) and made my way to the wet room… where I easily and simultaneously stubbed my toe on Sock Glide Glenda as I was taking the hearing aids out and dropped one and out popped the battery. With cataracts, I could not follow the multi-circular route taken as the battery spun around. I’ve got plenty of batteries to use, but it’s so annoying when one escapes. Hehe! Things went well enough after that for a while. The teeth (painful), then shaving (only one cut!) were completed, showering and on to the drying off… Ah, a slight chance of luck now!
The Wee-weeing sessions restarted and were uncomfortable. The pants that had been half on at the time of the Accifauxpa were mostly blood-red in seconds! They were all of the WUNT (Weak-Unwilling-Negligible Trickling) style. But this was nothing compared to what the state Peripheral Pete’s caused me! I’d done the medicationalisationings and was getting into a new pair of protection Pants, and off went the right leg on the Neuropathic dance routine! A bit frisky this one was, and I last my balance and hot my newly washed and medicated wedding tackle against the sink edge.

I realised later that I had also knocked out another tooth, bruised the eye slightly, and somehow, Harold’s Haemorrhoids were leaking too! It took me ages to get everything sorted out; a good job that the carer was a little late. I was cleaning up the wet room mess I’d made when I realised there were some, just a few new spots of blood on the floor? I must have caught the scab on the burn mark on the knuckles. But it was nothing like the blood for Harolds Haemorrhoids, the tooth or fungal lesion: they were all the usual deep red type. This was almost pink… I think? It stopped of its own accord a minute or so later. Worra Day!
Carer Richard arrived, and he was in a rush. Rich was coughing a lot; I hope he’ll be alright. He’s got a diabetes session to attend this morning, I reckon he said.
Wished him all the bestest as he left with some treats; then, I had a closer look at the ankle’s ulcers. Well, what a surprise, they haven’t looked this calm in months. I’ve forgotten the rest of the ditty? Ah-well, win some, lose some…
After what seemed an aeon, I got on with the blogging. I meant to say, earlier on, about 02:00hrs, (Yes, Sweet Morpheus is not pleased with me! I looked at the calendar, and I was sure I’d ordered an Iceline order to come today. So I checked on the website. It told me I had no orders, so I got on the J Sainsbury site and made an order with them for tomorrow.
You see, this Friday, I have the first Cataract operation, so I will be virtually blind afterwards, then I’ve got to go back for an examination to see if it’s worked okay. So, I intend to get the cupboards and fridge filled up before I leave cause there is a chance they told Jillie when she phoned them that I may be kept in, in the event any Whoopsiedangleplops during the operation.
Then a while later, NokiaI got a message on my G6⅘ths Ultra-modern mobile phone. It was from Iceland informing me that my delivery that they told me was not ordered), will be delivered shortly? Now, I’ve got a J Sainsbury order coming tomorrow as well! Could things get worse? Well, yes, and they did! Humph! The products were in liners, not carrier bags…

Iceland had No Vegan beefburgers, no milk roll bread (sent a substitute loaf), Bananas soft and three of the five burst open; the pot of No-Bull vegan ice cream was in liquid form, a right mess. To clean up! – You would not believe the state of the food! The strawberries were squashed, the biscuits in crumbs and one of the packets of AAA batteries card and plastic retainer shell was off; it was never seen – I just collected the eight batteries from the depths of the wet food. This was one of the worst deliveries I’ve ever had from them.

Still, on the bright side, I’ve got food galore in the fridge; I’ve probably not got room for the Sainsbury’s stuff to get them in on Thursday. However, the ice cream will likely take months to harden enough to eat. I suppose I could drink it? Both pots!
Oh, and the bananas tasted okay, just a shame that I paid for five and only two were edible, and they were bruised inside, and I had to watch what I was eating. Oh, never mind! The lid on the jar of beetroot was loose, and…

At long last, I got onto the blogging, and the door-chime burst forth. It was Josie returning Sunday’s utensils from her meal. As I took the tray and things from her, I told her I had some strawberries for her, asking her to hang on while I fetched them. When I returned to the door with the fruits, Josie had gone back into her flat.

I’m not sure which of us is worse than the other, she or me, for hearing, and we both guess at what is being said, I think sometimes. Hahaha!
I told her about my going into the hospital to have my cataracts seen on Friday and then Monday for a follow-up. Then I said I’ll see if see enough to do you a meal or not come Sunday. But I expect not. She laughed and… I think anyway, “Yes, I’ll be in for lunch on Sunday…” Of course, I could have misheard her; she definitely misheard me… Hahaha! As she ook the Strawberries, she said she felt guilty about me making the fodder every Sunday. I said it was my pleasure… “Can I get some bananas for you at the weekend?” I put my thumbs up and smiled…

Int life great when yer gerowd? Har-har!
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I was wondering about my hypertension…

Is it cause Neil Kinnock is a distant relation?
Or cause I’m still waiting for the Vicar’s confirmation…
Or my habit of losing track and digression?
Why do I want the go through teleportation?
Doctors can’t cure my dying neurotransmissions,
Leaving me forever with derision & indecision…
Am I too soft, believing in nonaggression?
I’m full of fear and misapprehension,
I’d love to free myself of my mental tension…
Is the answer to commit self-decommission?
Do I need some physiological remission?
Can’t go on like this; I must make a decision…
I can’t cope with mental corrosion, confusion,
Be positive, become more Sherlock Holmesian,
Drugs, are they the answer, but I’ve an aversion…
Maybe I’ll try some Columbian?
Do I even deserve help? Or vilification?

Evening All!

Inchcock Today

/ Inchie / 2 Comments

Which inspired Pro. Bill Ziegler to start building his Space & Time Machines in his basement. For his latest one, he took his beloved HRH Petal-Lisa with him. They sent me this photo.

Bill, now known worldwide as Professor Ziegler, PhD, In Humanitarian Studies. Initially based in Cincinnati, since the success of his Time Travel experiments, he is now operating from Paris (2049), Palestine (1974), Nottingham (Current), Germany (1925-1945-2015), Outer Mongolia (1911)and Britain (1155 years BC). He has been assigned by the FBI, CIA, Walt Disney Jnr and Joe Biden to nip back and get proof of fiddling in the last US elections. Hehehe!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Well, it’s not Telstar, but earth’s moon. I took a photo when I got up. What is impressive is I went and put the kettle on, and I’m talking about eight hours ago now, and I still haven’t made a mug of tea! Gobsmacking!

After faffling about starting many jobs and tasks, having to visit the Porcelain Throne a few times, and forgetting what I was doing beforehand… repeatedly, I started getting the photographs on the blog. Then realised I had not begun to prepare Josie’s Sunday meal yet. So, I did! Although I began to do well in the task at hand and maintained a modicum of concentration…

I prepared the vegetables, tomatoes, leeks, garden peas, soya and mushrooms in the saucepan. Then the beans and chilli were seasoned into pan two… I was almost at the stage of developing a Smug-Mode… until! . Oh, dearie me, a classic Whoopsiedangleplop, with an Accifauxpa to follow…
I’d just tasted the chillies before transferring it to the veg pan; and thought a squirt of more distilled vinegar would be a good idea. (It wasn’t). As I took off the bottle cap, the neurotransmitters failed, and I ended up juggling the bottle, getting soaked in vinegar, and layering the kitchenette floor with the escaping contents…

I had to delay the nosh-sorting to clean up the floor and my clothes. Then got in a spot of minor Conrad Confusion state. I was unsure of what to do first, sort the food? No, that’ll make the mess worse walking through it. So, into the wet room and got the mop and bucket out. And… that couldn’t have come at a worse time for me… I hit my knee on the sock-glide getting to the mop & bucket, and Cartilage Cathy kicked off, and I ended up moping the floor while using Metal Mickey, the walking stick! Not an easy thing to do! I had to stop and get some Phorpain Gel rubbed into the right patella. I was making things worse instead of better. However, when I dropped the mop and bent to retrieve it, a severe stab of pain and the cap had returned to the socket, no longer painful, just a smidgeon sore. Haha! Had my luck changed? No!

The door chime chimed, and in walked a late and not a very happy-looking carer, Joe. I rushed to finish the floor; it took about five minutes or so. I hastened to Carer Joe to take the medications; Joe met me at the door, anxious that he was not delayed any longer, as he had a lot on. Took the tablets, gave Joe a choice of tipple and nibble and went to the door to see him off. I forgot to ask him to take the waste bags. But I was feeling guilty for keeping him waiting. A low point in the day. But at least the kitchen floor was done.

I was still in a, well, erm…, a nervous state, I think. Still not happy with me getting mixed up and keeping Joe waiting, although he was far behind, he didn’t moan at me. I took a snap of the end car park from the balcony… that did not cheer me up in the least; It just brought back the problems I’m having with Facebook taking off all of my photos of the car park, the meals and me medical ones… others as well.
I’ve stopped using Facebook now... I’d like to close down my account altogether. Why are my photos not keeping to the standards of Facebook? I’ve seen some posts with swearing and anti-Royalty comments, and they seem to be okay with Facebook standards? Please let me know if anyone knows how to close a Facebook account. Mind you, I’ll lose my Troll Free access and Winwood Court too… Oh, I don’t know!
On the Blood Pressure, Sys was 147,
Not low or high enough to put me in heaven,
Dia 76, Pulse 81, Temp 34.1!

New medications on the collapsible table?
When? Who?… not rememberable…
Left in a bag unopened on the table.
When? Who?… not confirmable.
Pentac medicine’s effectiveness is disputable…
And Furosemide, another puzzle?
When? Who?… another bumfuzzle?
Dementia Doreen is blameable…
For my short-term memory not being retainable!

I should have used the glove or a towel,
To check on the oven-cooking gruel,
Peripheral Neuropathy makes you look like a fool.
When off-line, if things are hot or cool…
The nerve ends can’t tell the brain pool,
Neurotransmitter failures can seem cruel.

Some ailments will never be understood,
Peripheral Neuropathy, there’s not always blood,
Dying nerve ends are often misunderstood,
In fact, as above, they can be good…
The pain message is not precisely aborted,
This ailment needs to be excogitated!

No informing the brain of forthcoming pain or blood,
But belatedly gets the message through, it could…
Then you see the cut or bruise that bled…
Nowt the Doctors can do, it can’t be attempered,.
I imagine this will be why I’m found dead…
No need to fret, all the things wot I’ve been afflicted.

Twice I’ve been shot, and two cancers,
I’ve been given plenty of chances…
A metal ticker fitted, adiposes…
The stroke, Arthur Itis in both knees.
At 20 years of age came baldness,
Now cataracts, coming blindness.
Rotting teeth, deaf, body full of bruises,
Saccades, Glaucoma and diabetes,
Feet full of corns and calluses…
Mugged thrice, they weren’t pleasant,

Ankle and mouth ulcers,
Variable Blood Pressures and pulses,
Oh, and Pectic & Duodenal Ulcers,
Colin Cramps, fingers, toes agonise,
Harold’s Haemorrhoids bleed, a right mess,
And talk about absent-mindedness!
Now I’m full of abominableness…

So, life is now full of absurdnesses,
Paying for Carers and nurses…
Putting up with my pathetic curses…
But things could well be worse,
PN can, as I showed, have advantageousness,
My funeral cost has been covered!

But moments ago, from Jillie, she’s coming to see me!
This cheered my spirits automatically,
So, St Peter can wait patiently,
Cause I’m waiting to see Jill, besottedly!

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I’ll get some nosh cooked before the Evening Carer calls.
Which I did, and took several photographicalisations while doing so, including the meal, a view from the kitchen window, and from the balcony. All 3 of the pictures have disappeared from the card?

I’m properly fed up!
The evening Carer arrived as I was getting the meal on the plate. The vegan burgers were well done when I got around to eating the meal.
I’m properly fed up!

Evening All!