CARER RICHARD

He goes the extra mile to care for me!
ODES
Richard goes the extra mile in looking after me, you see…
He’s called paramedics to the hospital he dispatched me.
Found me on the floor, lifted me up; and I’m heavy!
He’s reduced the effects of my Whoopsiedangleploppery!
After giving me my medications, if he’s the time, to which I agree…
We sometimes have a bit of mental verbal buffoonery,
Monday, checking the dates on medications, was he…
Richard saw on the stove my pan of Chilli,
He suggested a new way of cooking, which sounded good to me!
Told me with cheese on top, it would be very tasty,
So, I made some that way later and could not disagree,
It tasted better than a well-cooked sosatie.

Ate it, felt sated, down the chair – I’ve not got a settee…
But with my feet up, I settled to watch the footy on ITV…
Half-time, I went to make a brew of Glengettie tea…
Getting the cup and washing up the cutlery…
Oh, dear, the innards suddenly rumbled – but only weakly…
The rear end just started to emit things terribly…
I rushed to the Porcelain Throne in a hurry… but I was too late!
Banged my shoulder on the door frame going in, mate!
What a mess; I was in a right mucky state…
Cleaned things and me up, new aerated PP’s on, to alleviate…
Sad when one has an uncontrollable trip to defecate…
At least the shoulder I didn’t dislocate!
Out and back to the kitchenette for the brew,

And immediately another churning, another release was due!
Back to the Porcelain Throne, I almost flew!
A bigger mess this time, sticky goo!
Good job, I made it in time, I can tell you!
Cleaned and washed, and back on the flaming loo!
After five more Throne visits, each one causing ballyhoo…
Things settled at last; in future, Chilli, I’ll have to eschew!
I’ll have some home-made beef stew,

Oh, no beef, summat else will do…
Ah, the Vegan beefburger tonight; the risks should be few
Hoping there’ll be no trouble with the residue!
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All fine that night, I woke up feeling refreshed and pert,
This morning as I stood up, the Haemorrhoids hurt,
The borborygmus rumbled, and to the Porcelain Throne I stumbled,

An hour later, I’d passed at least six times… my spirits crumbled…
Each evacuation was a close call, as I rushed and fumbled…
My poor piles were stinging and battered; they itched!
Uh-oh! The last one sneaked out early; I had to ventilate…
It seemed the pong was worse by a hundredfold,
Finally, I got the escapees under control…
That leaves Carer Richard this morning, who needs to be told…
A warning of his recipe given, especially to the thick & old…
That eating it, diarrhorea would be empowered!

Richard arrived, I told him of my Chilli agony, and he was unflustered!
Laughter flowed from the lad, totally unhindered…
No guilt, no shame… Never seen the lad so cheery…
He suggested I get a new nappy!
Hahaha!
Inchcock’s Make ‘Em Laugh Series
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I’ve never ever seen Richard laugh out loud and so hard! I think his mood was as near to schadenfreude as one can get. Even amid my agonies and Trotsky Terence’s having a hay-day with my innards and the Protection Pant stocks running desperately low…, it cheered me up to have made him so happy and contented. It did as much good as any medications.
With a possible hint of epicaricacy creeping in there… Hahaha!
Last evening’s photographicalisations were, to me, some of the best I’ve managed to take. How the shaking and shuddering (apart from the right shoulder Shuddering Shoulder Shirley) had suddenly dried up was something of
a minor miracle? However, as I was closing the windows after taking the pictures, they kicked off again, off course. But a nice two first-time shots? Ah, the rumbling innards have started off again, out of the blue.
I made a speedy as I could lunge for the wet room, wary of Trotsky Terence’s grip on the innards. The evacuation was the smallest in days and more than capable of controlling. I remained sat where I
was on the Throne and got the crossword book out. I was not going to get caught out like I have been so many times recently by needing another release minutes later. About five minutes later, the second lot came.
I had a shave and shower, and the ankle ulcer in this photo looked like a luminescent inner core? At least it did to my cataracted eyes. But it looked to the eyes as usual? If I remember, I’ll
ask the evening carer to have a look. (I forgot to, Tsk!)
. The body temperature was acceptable again. That’s several days on the trot, so things look good there. Shaking Shaun
caused me to drop the thermometer, but it still works; phew! The Sys was still highish, the DIA lowish, and the Pulse was AOK! Overall, I was tempted to go into Smug-Mode, but
I remembered last week… I declined! That was when the SYS went up to 174 for one day, then down to 123?
I had a look at the food situation in the fridge. There seemed plenty to do me over the weekend, and the freezer was pretty full, so I decided no food order was needed until next week! Yes! I made a decision…me! I
made one in 1968 as well, you know. Then made another one! I had a long chinwag with the family. Gave each one a mini cuddle and had a few words with each of them. ♥ All donated by e-friends, Lisa, Pattie and Marie; thank and bless them!
I had a walk down to the ground floor, using the lift, of course. And started to have a hobble the length of the three blocks of flats, to come out from
Winchester Court and hobble along Chestnut Way back to my beloved Woodthorpe Court… but…
An urgent need suddenly needed! So I doubled back and got to the Throne in
time to avoid any Accifauxpas or Whoopsiedangleploppery! Which was good! ![]()
Washed and got a snap of the end car park taken from the balcony. What
happened with this terrible photo? I took it without thinking through the glass; I didn’t open the window. Wot a pillock! So I did a better shot from the other end of the balcony, of the view towards Nottingham City Centre, two
miles away. Then got a late nosh sorted out. Veg & pickle balls, with added caramelised onion chutney, tomatoes, chips and my beloved raw, fresh pod peas. I had three little marshmallows for my make-do dessert.
I would have had some yoghourt or lemon mousse, but Iceland and Sainsbury’s didn’t have any in stock – Grumph!
So, there it is! A day of misery, defeatism, joy, laughter and utter confusion- just a typical day for Inchcock! Cheers!

I finished the cleaning and sanitising, made up a waste bag, and started prepping to do Josie’s
I took shots of the morning view while it was still dark.
was utilised to get the Blood Pressure readings. Another set of reasonable returns for today, as it has been for three days on the trot now! SYS 148. DIA 70 and the Pulse had gone up smidgeon to 91bpm.
My Chinese (Hong Kong) made Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd™, contactless thermometer, showed an increase to 34.6°c. I think that’s a good sign. Much better than of late…
Off to check on Josie’s chilli meal. All looked and tasted good when I had a spoonful.
I got my nosh done and served it on the tray. BBQ rice and two veggie sausages, with a banana to follow. Nice enough. Taste rating 7.2/10
nodded off. Of course, within minutes, I jumped back into life, as is usual for me nowadays. And I felt like I could manage something else to eat. I took the ray knife and porcelain bowl into the kitchen and soaked them in the washing up bowl. At first, I thought, aha, I’ll have some cornflakes, checked to see if there was enough milk to use, and remembered about the NoBull ice cream in the freezer. I opted to have that instead. I polished it all off, and boy, it was so tasty too! Took the tray back to the sink and washed it with the other stuff in the bowl.
Now a new thought arrived. I’ll have to find out where I bought the vegetarian ice cream and get some more ordered; it was that good! I checked on the J Sainsbury order coming tomorrow but could not find any vegetarian ice cream at all. So, I had a look at the Iceland site. Ah, there it was, and on offer as well! I had to spend a minimum of £40, but that’s no problem for a shopaholic like me. Hehehe! Veggie burgers, treats for the carers, cheese & onion pasties, strawberries, tomatoes, mushrooms, butter, BO spray, spring water, chips, and, of course, the NoMoo ice cream!
Put the kettle on, made a brew of JS Extra-Strong Brown Label tea, and tried to sort out the Canon camera’s problem. Gave up and went to make another brew. This time, using the rather delightful full-bodied Thompsons
Signature tea. 

Ah, well. I got the body temperature done. It’s a little low again, but it has been for weeks now; I don’t feel any worse for it… I’ve got the eyes, Doreen Dementia etc., to worry me more. It’ll be back down tomorrow, I expect.
Window cleaning Joe arrived. Nice chap. He lets me waffle on without looking too bored at me. A good quality that is on a man. There is some more undecipherable squiggling here… no, I can’t make it out.
Took a snap of RVD’s (Red Van Man’s) parking in the end car park. Someone had beaten him to his favourite, ‘I’m not bothered’, illegal no parking chevron spot.
I got the nosh sorted out and served up. I enjoyed it but fell asleep eating it, woke up, and finished off the cold meal without any bother or interest. I just accepted that Dementia Doreen will be with me forever now. Not a pleasant thought.
I remembered the high BP of Thursday and went to finally make a brew of Thompsons’ Punjana, relaxed as much as I could, and got the sphygmomanometer going. And sure enough, the BP was lower. SYS 147 (from 174), DIA 70 (67), and Pulse at 81 (88). According to the NHS, today’s
reading is acceptable; 60-85 bpm is suggested. According to my Chinese Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co, the body temperature. Ltd™, contactless thermometer, was 33.6°c, up a bit.
The feet still looked and felt a little sore.
Back to the computer, but Mr Fries, the $23million a year salaried leader of shit Liberty-Global, let me down yet again. This week, about 12 times, the overpaid, number-juggler & cruncher has proved his inability to get a Virgin Media internet signal to stay on in Nottingham. Please don’t think this has created jealousy and hatred for the scum-bucket. Oh, no!
While waiting on Mr Fries to get his minions to resupply Winwood Heights with his unreliable, pathetic, crap, overcharging, customer-hating enslaved people to get the signal back. I took a few photographs. Mayhaps I should send this to Mr Fries, so he knows where he is not sending, but overcharging
for it, internet supply?
the no-parking yellow chevrons at the end of the car park on Chestnut Way. Only one vehicle in, RVD (Red-Van-Man).
The car park faces Winwood and Winchester Courts.
Then, a photo of the beautiful clouds in the sky.
Got the meal prepared and served up. Cheesy topped halved boiled potatoes, baked off to crisp the red Leicester cheese. Veggie sausages, baked beans with Henderson’s relish added, wholemeal cobs, tomatoes, and a banana.
We need to start straight away protecting this planet. We’ve polluted it uncaringly, not a thought for the future generations… if there is to be any. And all for gain and personal profit. So shadow-benders and number-crunchers like Mr Fries can earn $23 million a year, and Putin can do a Hitler in attacking other countries! Nowadays, he is doing it risk-free. No Americans to save the day for Ukraine, like they did for the UK, France, Poland etc., sad.


78bpm. Very good! The Chinese (Hong Kong) was built by Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd™, contactless thermometer, was still showing low. Compared to the target set by the hospital, of 35°c, at 33.7°c. But no worries!

with any illness. Fingers crossed that he’ll be back tomorrow and feeling better.
didn’t damage them, and he went down to the other bags; that was kind of him. These are for the Wardens. He fetched the different parcels, and I got them into the kitchen.
Got the things stored away. There is no frozen today; the freezer would struggle to get a biro or single fruit gum in. At least I got some of the battered chips, not the ones I wanted, but the last ones tasted nice enough.
they’ll do for me. The bananas almost made me feel guilty! They looked like a set of parents with their children. Alright, so I’m a little weird at times! It has to be admitted, I fear. My travel into loony-land is taking on a little speed lately. Hehehe!
I took Morrison’s Amazon food delivery wrappers to the waste chute.
I limped (the flipping feet are getting even more painful now?) down through the lift lobby and to the waste room door at the end to the left.
expert in doing this!
I’ll get the meal started, and then, if I don’t fall asleep, try to get the top Ode-making started. Got the beer-battered chips in the oven and got some WordPress comments answered, then went to check the ovens in the chips… or even the chips in the oven.
Enjoyed this plateful immensely. Especially the beer-battered chips. And soft bloomer sliced bread.
with the food order (my fault, Doreen Dementia’s), I guiltily had one of the baby bananas. You can see how small they were here. Tasty lovely. I’m not sure, but I might have heard it crying as I bit into it! Hahaha!


to get the previous day’s blog completed. WP Reading. Comments, and I pressed on for hours to get the blog done and posted. Facebooked until it, and Liberty-Global Virgin was going down so often, I gave up. Try to catch up later.
Carer Valerie called, and I had the shakes at the time, which worried her a bit; bless her. I was still a bit unsteady when the Morrison delivery arrived, but when he left the packages in the doorway and had scooted, I started to come
round nicely. I took some photos while I got the things away.
Worked on blogging, no washing. Did my best.
I’ve been a bit unlucky this week. The 40 bus did not stop to pick us up at the bus stop. The tumbles and knocks this week. Walked into doorframes, dropped a bowl of potatoes and cheese, burnt my hand, and slipped off of kerb hobbling up Winchester Street… so, everything is normal there then.
I checked on the potatoes, now sliced and in the oven. The sun was beginning to go down, and I took a few minutes pareidoliaing at the cloud formations. II thought I saw a mouth and lips or an imitation black hole that was white. Hehehe!
Got the fodder served up. The slow cooker and sliced and oven-baked potatoes were terrible, possibly my worst effort in years. But everything else was fine and tasty. Taste: 6.5/10.
Off for a wee-wee and had another figure-finding session at the kitchenette window’s clouds. Sadly, no pictures or visions were seen in the clouds this time. Although looking at them now (Sunday morning), I think I spot a monster in there flying?
Came out of the wet room to start prepping Josie’s beef & veg chilli. To add to the meat and beans later, I got two saucepans filled, one with the chill and seasoned it, the other with the fresh leeks and mushrooms cooking. Merged them later, tasted and added a bit of chilli to them.
A blood pressure reading that had gone up a bit.
Obviously, a morning check this one was. Dark without my using the flash, it seems.
I wish I could remember which day this captured an infrequent miracle of our beloved bad parking expert, the Red-Van-Man, using a proper parking slot!
A simple, quick meal for Inchcock here? Potatoes, tomatoes and a veggie burger, with dessert to follow. It must have been one of his staying up late nights; he’s had a
Aha, my Amazon delivery. Now which day was
that, Friday, mayhaps?
very impressed with their taste.
Ah, I’m almost sure this was Saturday night’s, nosh. Of course, my being certain is equal to an average person’s ‘I’m guessing
I got Josies Sunday meal sorted and delivered to her door. I used one of the new porcelain bowls. A strawberry cheesecake for dessert, the usual treats for her to keep her going, and an extra dollop of chilli in another container so she can microwave it for later on whenever she fancies it. 
I cooked two veggie burgers and added a part-baked baguette later. Cut the bread into four pieces, halved the burgers and inserted each in a baguette slice. Took this snap of it.


This now embarrassing, brownie-camera photographicalisation shows the signs of authentic poverty in which I grew up.
Christine. Mr Wright and Jane are on holiday in Mablethorpe! I recall feeding the family dog Rover (No pets were allowed on the caravan site in those days.) each time Mr, Mrs Wright, and daughter Christine went on holiday, taking Sister Jane with them; after Jane returned home, I’d better explain that while I think of it.
A better-off side of the family, with five boys, wanted to adopt Sister Jane. Dad opposed this, the fights started, and it was agreed that Jane would of out to Italy with the family. Which left me thinking, Jane was ‘out there’ having a ball, while I was left with Dad (Mother had done another runner from the police). Had to do the cooking and what cleaning I could family. Clean out and set the fire but did not start it until I saw Dad coming home. He thought it was overspending to make a fie for only one person. Give him his dinner, and get the things ready for the morning in the coal house ready for clearing out and resetting again in the morning. So, the crux of it was; that I was a smidge jealous, thinking that Jane was out there, in the sunshine, wanting for nothing, living the life of Riley… While Jane was ‘over there’ thinking that I was at home, living the life of Riley! Hahaha! In truth, poor Jane was miserable and had it a lot worse than me! She was molested, had to be a maid to the boys… When we found out we were both miserable, we had to laugh. As I understand it, each of the lads, who are now men, has been arrested and found guilty of various nefarious offences. Worra family!
This picture, I do remember having being taken. A Door-knock photographer took it (2/3d a photo 11p in today’s money). Not cheap! The rather distinguished-looking (I don’t know how or why I remembered that?) cameraman said it’s usual to have a girl and boys toy in hand. I recall Jame going up to get her teddy from the bedroom, and I nipped next door to borrow a ball from my mate Jack. On my behalf, returning to have the picture taken. But putting on that forced smile was almost painful for me. Har-har!
A terrible picture of my blonde locks. This brings a scary memory back to me. Often I would be in the backyard. Our house was about eight-foot from a railway viaduct. On the left in the top photo) I would be playing or chopping wood in the backyard and the train; it was a busy line, with Arkwright Street Station, high above the houses. We got goods, commuter and the London Express’s all passing throughout the day and night. The houses shook, the windows rattled, the light swayed…
Christine Wright, in front of her house in Brookfield Place.
I think this one was taken in Wilford or West Bridgford.
remember.


By Jimminee, and jolly good heavens above, what an absolute improvement on yesterday’s sphygmomanometerisationing for the level of blood pressure! Comparing it to Thursdays, nerve-wracking 285 Sys!




On Special offer, I just looked at this close up of the red and khaki coloured lumps they’d sent! It was the same or similar colouring? It reminded me of the only time I’ve seen horsemeat served.
no good. But I ate what I could salvage from the concrete balls of sourdough later on?
Can’t recall what night I made this meal. But I can remember enjoying it pretty well. The fishcakes with peas in them were tasty enough, the potato waffles were terrible, as were the fish fingers, all vegetarian. The tomatoes tasted excellent, cake and banana, but the vegan cakes cost more money. The potatoes and peas were disappointing. Taste Rating: 6.5/10.
I think I’ve shown this photo, but I am not sure. Sourdough bread, the Polish style one, mushroom pate and tomatoes, a soft imitation cheese portion, were almost as bad as the cakes. But that bread and pate. Was gorgeous.
.
have a check on the fodder cooking, I heard a clattering noise from the room I’d just left. I went back to investigate…
I got things sorted things out again. And then went back to the kitchen to get the meal prepped and served up. No sunset as such, but the view was eerily misty, enough for me to take a snap.
photographicalisation. Served up the fodder. Two veggie pasties, two potatoes baked, halved and plant butter added. fresh garden peas and tomatoes. A banana and pot of dessert. 
,
Midweek photographicalisations, of the sky, from the kitchenette. Well, I think they are anyway. They could be from earlier in the week or not, maybe. This one was taken close u to the window glass.
An early evening view? Possibly, an afternoon shot.
this one already, Tsk! Assuredly an evening or early morning picture of the moon. Not a good one, but it was the best I could do at the time.
A midweek meal? Or thereabouts, methinks. I wonder if I ate it all? I recall the sausages having very tough skins for some reason. A much-belated taste rating: 6.5/10.
A late morning photograph this time. The sun coming up from the back of the flat complex casts a shadow over Chestnut Walk, the bottom field, and some households will lose their sunshine for a while.
Aha, I know these ones. This first one is the Iceland Foods delivery, which came while Car Richard was with me, on, erm… er… I’ll look at the Carer roster. Richards came on Mon, Tue, Wed and Thursday, so
it’ll be one of those days. (See how quick I was there?) Hahaha!
Getting the food away in the freezer was a work of art and took me an hour. Some of the things had to be emptied out of the packaging, or they would never have fitted in!
Each time I opened another cardboard box, it needed constant moving.
Ah, that night’s meal. Fish fingers, fishcakes, buttered potatoes, yellow and red tomatoes, potato waffles, a banana and two lemon cakes. Haha! Not too bad, a nosh. Taste Rating: 8.8/10.
Evening photograph, judging from where the sun is, I’d guesstimate the time as around 19:00hrs. Puffer clouds were
Last night methinks, but it could have been from