Life

Saturday 24th September 2022 Cartoon, Ode & Diary

/ Inchie / 17 Comments

SATURDAY’s POLITICAL CARTOON

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05:00hrs: When I stirred, I struggled with , for control of my brain. For I was aware (for once) of the need to rise and get lots of things that needed to be done; so as not to let down the Link bus driver by being late at the collection point. I was determined not to get myself into a pickle and keep calm, not get all agitated like yesterday afternoon when things went apeshit again. I really wanted to keep calm today, with an eye on my Blood Pressure to help me on my mission. (Had I known what lay ahead, I’d not have bothered! I rose with little difficulty and, at that time, was rather pleased with myself. Indeed, I was close to having a .
As soon as I got into the kitchen the
I’d left the hot water tap running in the sink! Cold water again – just on a morning I need to get a good shower and shave for the visit it the Doctor! Already the self-despising and anger were brewing! I cursed and swore for ages and had to take the decision to have stand-up wash teeth and shaving sessions, using water from the kettle and two saucepans. Carrying them into the wet room, back before the water got cold, to refill and get them on the stove and back again to the wet room several times was decidedly risky.
I paid the price. Blistered finger, scolded foot, and clouted my elbow on the corner of the cooker, dropping the luckily empty pan on the floor! My anger and frustrations were getting shameful now!.
I got through with the task pretty quickly; then again, I was still determined to. A few more little nicks when shaving, but the hands were like blurs as shaved away at warp speed!
Got medicated where needed, dressed, and out of the wet room to check on the pots and pans I’d used in the kitchen. I’d made a bit of a mess, but no time now to worry about that. I hoped whichever Carer came was early. Then I could ask for help with things… well, why not?
I had to return to the wet room. This typifies my rotten luck – things have been fone in the evacuation department. But just because I needed to rush… Four rock-solid giant H-Bomb-shaped escapees! One at a time! Each one was more painful and took me longer to force out. The last one was a battle and a half!
Bled so much, poor things. Even more, time was lost in cleaning and . I wasn’t sorry that was over!

0735hrs: ♫ Oh, Susan ♫ chimed up. At last, the Carer had arrived! Of course, Meridian Management had not sent her a message about coming earlier! Told me had she been advised, she could have gotten here earlier. Shame! Lovely Carer Sinead, it was today. She set to give me the medications first. Then help me with the cash for the bus fare. Even closed the tabs on the shoes for me when I asked. I insisted she take a drinkie and nibble of her choice in thanks when she left.
I avoided the problems for once, being in such a rush to get down in time for the lift..
I arrived with three minutes to spare in the ground floor lobby. And began a mega-long ait for the arrival of the Link bus. I was questioning if I’d got something wrong about the appointment after all? Nothing showed up… well, a squirrel did. Haha!

I waited for about an hour, then gave up and returned to the flat.
I got the magnifying glass and found the telephone number on the Link leaflet and gave them a call.
No one is available at weekends, call back on Monday after 11:00hrs. Well, another problem without a solution?
Now there may be an email from the foot lady about their appointment today. At least I can get there this time.
I set the alarm on my mobile phone for an hour later. Just in case I don’t hear the text when it comes in. Then finished the Friday blog and posted it off.
Noise from the flat above that did not settle; it went on for hours and hours. Clunks and bangs! Later there were a few breaks from the noise of the impolite, insensitive, disrespectful, snobbish, haughty, pompous Herbert. But he was back again within minutes each time. Huh, just typed that, and he’s gone all quiet?

The alarm went off on the mobile. I got ready and trotted… well, limped down with the three-wheeler walker trolley in the lift to the ground floor. I meandered gently along the link corridor to the end and the hair & foot salon on my left.

Aha, locked up and empty of people! I moved on to the end of the corridor and took a photo of the ILC (Independent Living Coordinators), who are Oberstgrüppenführeress, Primo Ballerina, Warden, Deana, and Generaloberstess, Junior Ice-skating champion Julie. I could see no souls about anywhere on all my wanders.

I turned, somehow I was not surprised they had closed down, let’s face it, it’s just my luck, innit?
I took a close-up photo of the sign.
So we could read it. Bodes not well for the business, closing down for holidays?

I then had a thought – I do that sometimes, you know… have a thought! I nails growing so fast, I’m going to find it harder and harder to walk?
Just a thought!

I’ve been into this blogging, and the times have flashed by. The will be here soon. Better get some quick nosh sorted, methinks.
Back in a bit… or the morning. (The Morning updating):

Got the meal prepared, down in the £300, second-hand, decrepit, Haemorrhoid Harold-testing, sleep deterring, nauseatingly beige-coloured, not-working recliner. Feet up on a swivel chair. Not ideal when one is trying to eat peas and cope with the Peripheral Neuropathy Pete’s twitches and palpitations. Spent a lot of time retrieving odd peas from my body, the carpet, one in the slipper, two in the dressing gown pocket (No ideas how they got there], some made their way into the waste bin near the recliner, and about four are still on the floor underneath the Hopewell’s G-Plan, 1966 made cabinet, but at the back, I’ll ask Richard on Monday if he can retrieve them for me. Where was I? Oh, yes, the meal! Flavour-Rating 6.5/10. Ate it all, apart from the errant peas, of course.

Chloe arrived in a rush, as is usual. But we did have a laugh while it lasted. Treats and off she went, taking the waste bag with her.

I went to wash up the pots and things, and I could not resist trying to get some decent shots of the evening sky through the kitchen window. I took the first one in Auto-Mode on the Lumix camera. Crossing my fingers that the SD card will get them this time. Then tried a zoomed-in a bit, effort using the SCH-Evening mode on the camera dial. As I was taking this one, an instant demand came to a wee-wee – No messing about, I grabbed Metal Micky and shot off to the wet room. Fearing that the Comfort Protection Pants might be about to be tested here! But, No! I whipped out Little Inchie and had to wait for ages for the trickle to start, and it only lasted for a few seconds; this confused me somewhat? Washed and went back to the kitchenette. Where I took this picture of the changed view on offer from Mother nature. Amazing how quickly the evening skies change.
And back to the wet room. This time for Porcelain Throne duties, during which; the wee-weeing flooded out? A comfortable, aperient evacuation was taken. But I had to wait for Little Med HydrInchie to stop leaking for blooming ages.
The fungal lesion was bleeding again. I assume through my stupidity of whipping down the pants so roughly on my first visit for a wee, Tsk! I tried the new ointment this time, in hopes that for some reason it would be less painful than the Daktacort was. It wasn’t!  
I went back to the computer and took the nightly capsule of Hemp.
I pondered on whether to risk an extra Codeine 30g. No doubt the lesion will sting for a while yet, and sleep, I would like to have some.
But resisted and took a tablet of the less effective but much better than Paracetamol, Co-Codamol.

I settled down in the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, Harold Haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable from, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner, in search of Sweet Morpheus.
But every time I nodded off, the pants would catch on the lesion as a shuffled about in search of a comfortable position, and sharp pain would bring me back out of any sleep mode I was in.
I did consider changing into one of the larger pants. Maybe thinking about it now, I should have, I think! Cause I lost count of how many times I was unceremoniously and painfully woken up!

Yet amazingly, when I shot awake again around 05:00hrs, there was no pain from Little Inchies fungal lesion whatsoever?

Life can be more strange than any fiction.

Morning all!

Inchcock: Friday 23rd September 2022

/ Inchie / 12 Comments

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03:25hrs: I so reluctantly stirred. I battled the willpower telling me to get up and get the ablutions sorted out. But I still rose delicately onto my feet and hobbled into the kitchenette and got the kettle on.
I recalled taking a decent photo yesterday of the morning view – whether or not I did is in question. Anyway, crossing my fingers that the Lumix will still be working, I selected an option for the SCN choices for a nighttime starry scene. Unbeknownst to me, it then told me to wait for 30 seconds after taking the photo and not to move the camera. Haha! Me, hold anything still for 30 seconds with Peripheral Neuropathy? Not a cat in hell’s chance! But I did my best and had hopes of it coming out alright. As you can see above, it didn’t! So I shot the next effort in Auto-setting.
Not so bad, but should have been better. a smidge disappointing.

I got the teeth, shaving and showering done. All went well, with no problems.
The body temperature was high again, a new highest ever, I think. 36.2°f. Mmm?
SYS at 144, DIA 71 and Pulse at 85 bpm. It looked like this was going to be another low; I put the figures into the NHS assessment site.
In the res, I didn’t expect that. I thought it was a certainty to go in the High-Normal Amber zone.

But, No! It was in Hypertension – 1. But only just, so it’s still better than recently. So, things, apart from the temperature, were looking good for once. In fact, looking at the graph, an improvement.
I got the waste bags made up.
Then sorted the waste out of the three-wheeled-walker trolley. On the computer, and found I’d received a comment on a blog. Replied to it, stopped computering, and got some suitable clothing on ready for the trip to Bulwell.
  ♫ Oh, Susana rang forth from the door chime, and in walked Carer Jodie ♫. She looked at the Blood Pressure Health Check chart. And gave me another Temperature check, which was higher than the earlier one, at 36.70°f! So, she gave me a Covid Test. Nope, I’m Covid-free. A little concerned about these high temperatures of the last couple of days? Particularly with it being low every time for the last two years and four months! Gave Jodie some

I thought I’d check everything to take again… not that I’m over-forgetful, a ditherer, waverer, vacillator, or dimwit. I was so pleased; over-the-moon with the Lumix working. Now I can take snaps of the riverside, the birds, the Market Place today. I was almost getting gregarious. I took a photo from the window, but nothing showed on the screen. My heart sank, so tried again, several times to take pictures, each one to no avail!
The day just went down to level three in the pissed-off stakes! I put the camera b battery on charge and had to leave it at home. Time to rush out for the Link minibus. Not in a good mood now!

The driver was looking rather annoyed as I stumbled out from the foyer on the ground floor. But he did not moan at me; bless him. We were pulling up at the Riverside Complex car park; it seemed to me in no time. Of course, I spent the journey nattering, and he couldn’t hear a word I was saying. A shame that!

Of how I wished that I had the camera with me. As I walked into Bulwell, the birds around the river Leen bank were bounteous and beautiful. I’d have loved to have taken some photos.
Over the next hour and a half, I visited three stores, and I got a carrier bag of this and that from each one. B&M, Heron, and Iceland.
Spent a bit!

Had I got the camera, I could have photographed the shop that I worked in back in 1962, a travel agent now.
The butcher’s van with tons of meat on show. Most likely horses, judging by the cheap prices he was asking. Hehehe!
The river Leen, not so many people around, and the fancy ducks and birds had abandoned the place to the many pigeons. Which is to who I fed the seeds.
A fist fight near the no longer open toilets on the other side of the road between two blokes, the shorter man had a good upper-cut. It was broken up before any police arrived… mind you, that’s not surprising in Nottingham. Three women sorted them out, and the bloke wandered off and into the pub together, laughing it looked like?

On my hobble to the Centre to catch the bus, there were an awful lot of escooters flying about and some damned dangerous disability scooter riders!

The good news? Was that was as good as gold to me. And  I did a fair bit of hobbling around with three heavy food-filled bags hanging on the trolley, too.
At the centre, I sat down near the end door to and from the car park… When I say sat down, I mean clumped down! I really didn’t see how low they were, and I think , burst a few papules… well, I know he did. Tsk!

The minibus came dead on time; it was Beryl who lifted me last Friday. Bless her. Likes a natter, my sort of gal. I don’t know her real name. Enjoyed the lift home. Bade farewell and off inside the foyer of the flats. Where neighbour Josie launched into Sherlock Holmesian mode. Where have you been? Did you meet anyone? You’ve bought more food? Do you need it? Hold on, I’ll come up with you… Did you get yourself some bananas?

I was slightly dazed when I got into the flat. Hahaha!
A drop of rain fell, but it only lasted for a few seconds.
I got the things put away and ended up with a mightily cramped-up load of fridge contents.
I think you must have noticed that the Lumix was working again? !
Definitely, I won’t need any substituted and short-dated food delivery for a few days or longer! I will have to ask Carer Richard to check the dates on the stuff in the fridge on Monday. Since I can no longer read many of the smaller-printed dates on such a lot of the things in there.

I’ll be spoilt for choice for a few days now.
I did manage to get some of the drinks from B&M.
I got a few non-alcoholic drinks of different types for the Carers and Nurses. A can of Mango Juice, one of Grape Juice. A couple of bottles of Coke signature drinks, which are Smoke flavoured? Cans of Rhubarb & Gin with Ginger Ale and a Passion Fruit Martini!

① Then things got back to normal. Huh! The Link Service called me to tell me that they are picking me up tomorrow, at 07:55hrs. To go to the doctor. Needless to say, I’d forgotten all about this. I’m not sure if it is the Memory Test, Severe Frailty Check or the Flu Jab?
② I thanked her kindly and checked the date on the calendar. Hmm! I’ve also got the Chiropodist at 11:15hrs. Oh, dear…
③ Then WordPress played up. And half of the screen was taken up with telling me the LinkedIn link needed updating. But it wouldn’t let me!
④  Kicked off with his noises again Concentration was hard enough without that uncommunicative, unamicable, unneighbourly, superior-natured, snotty, gits banging about!
⑤  Then I realised I did not have enough cash to pay for the bus in the morning!
⑥ Huh! I only dropped the spring water bottle, and it landed right on big toe!
⑦ Suddenly I realised it was a Saturday tomorrow. (I can be sharp sometimes) The problem is, most Saturdays… well, all of them, Carers come much later in the day. So I’ve now got to talk t.o whichever Carer comes tonight (Not always an easy task). And explaining that I needed them earlier tomorrow.
Life is not easy when one gets older and is on their own! Problems that cannot be solved. I bet you they let me down in the morning, and I have to go to the doctor without taking my medications? That is, if I can solve the shortage of money to pay for the minibus with – if I can’t, the whole day is going to be a further problem-bringing nightmare!
I’ve gone from almost contented to depression in ten minutes!

Blimey! The Carer is due anytime now.
Just started to eat the meal, and ♫ Oh Susana ♫ rang out. had arrived, and I had to explain the cock-up with the doctor’s appointment timing. He rang into his Meridian Care HQ and told them. The man said: “You are getting an outside Carer tomorrow, so they should be early. It would have been better to have informed us earlier…” If he thought about who he was dealing with for a moment, someone with Vascular Dementia who has had all the appointments changed on him by the surgery twice, he may have found it unnecessary for sarcasm.

I ate the three-quarters of the now cold meal left, washed the pots and took these evening shots from the kitchenette window 

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I used two different modes to see which was best. Naturally, I forgot to write them down so I’m none the wiser
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Thursday 22nd September 2022: Cartoon, Ode & Diary

/ Inchie / 31 Comments

THURSDAY’s POLITICAL CARTOON
Inchies Ode Of The Day
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That’s all the photos, mates.
Unless I can sort out the Lumix later.
But I’m not up to much, not a good day.
Esther the cleaner just charged me £20 for doing the washing. And I caught her helping herself to at least one 1½ bottle of Spring Water. No idea if anything else is gone.

She seemed totally unconcerned about me seeing her?
No wonder she can afford to go for a four-week holiday to see her family in South Africa.

I am not up to challenging her at the moment. Wonder if she’s fiddling with any of the other residents, as well?

I’ll get something to eat now. I’m not feeling up to much still. But at least the shakes have eased off. I’ll have to do the Morrisons short-dated Parmentier spuds and a roast vegetable risotto, methinks.
Must sort out the shower and shave before the Carer arrives later on.
Then I can get the trolley sorted out with the bags and paperwork for in the morning and get the togs ready. I shan’t use the sock glide tonight, hopefully, I can cope with it in the morning easier.
Oh, I’ve got the potato cubes in the oven. In 25 minutes, I can get the Risotto in the microwave. I’ll have a go at the Lumix again. Not that I know what I did to lose it in the first place or have the foggiest idea how to get it back working.

Fell asleep, uncomfortably waking with Thought Storms raging so often; it got to me, I made the meal. Took a snap of it, but it didn’t show on the viewer or card. In the morning, to my amazement, the meal one was on the DS card, none of the others I’d taken, mind you. They’d gone off into the ether.

Overdid it by a wide margin quantity-wise.
But ate most of it, put ray down and drifted of to sleep again.
Until Care Cheeky Charlie arrived, full of the joys of spring.
As she got the medications sorted out, she took my temperature.

My temperature has never been so high in years! 36.1°f!
She selected a drinkie and a nibble. And reminded me to lock the door as she departed. Bless her!
I slept on and off until 03:15hrs.

Hoping for a better day tomorrow… Please!

Inchcock Today: Wednesday 21st September 2022

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

WEDNESDAY’s POLITICAL CARTOON

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03:40hrs: Another shooting awake, the arms jounced, and slowly the brain woke up as well. The only thing it was interested in was my hastening to the Porcelain Throne. So, I did!
No injuries or Accifauxpas en route; I got settled in the regulation position, and the evacuation began. I should think it was 80% putrid air and 20% of watery kaki-coloured liquid, with a few bloblets of the expected stuff mixed in.
Not too messy it didn’t spurt out. No bleeding.
Again, I thought, well, I’m in here now; I’ll get the ablutions tended to. most another bit of the left back double molar again… I don’t know how it hasn’t all gone by now; the number of times I lose a chunk of it?
I took extra care with the shaving this time. A couple of tin nicks, no bother.
Ah, there were some difficulties here. The Germoloiding of Harrolds Haemorrhoids went perfectly smoothly, with minimum pain of any sort. Then, the Phorpain gelling was more or less in the same style. Then, for some reason, the applicationing of the
Daktacort can only be described as horrendously painful. I stopped as soon as I felt that much pain in such a delicate area. And went to fetch the magnifying glass to see if I could find a use-by date in the tube or box. Nope, couldn’t see one anyway. I went to the medical drawer in the kitchenette and ferreted about for another tube. None left! I must ask Richard or Deana to order some for me.
A smothering of Germolene in place was tried. Totally-ineffective. I dare not use what bit of Daktacort that was left in the tube, so threw it away.
Then, the Danger of the Day, so far, had to be faced. 

Of course, I wasn’t worried at all; a heroic man with so many ailments is not going to let a plastic-coated finger-crunching, blood-letting thing like metal Sock Glide intimidate me. Well, more than suspected!
I got through it and got the socks on. A plaster on the trapped bleeding finger was all I needed this time. Freshened up my wobbly short-overweight body with antiperspirant spray and aftershave. Got dressed and tackled the next job, the .
Back down again! SYS 137. DIA 72, Pulse 78 bpm, and body temperature a good return at 34.3°f.
Back in the High-Norm amber area. I suppose a being shown is okay?
The second lowest rating I’ve ever recorded! Now I shall be looking to get in the green soon… Hehehe!

Was banging about above early again, around 06:00hrs. He must be making things for Christmas pressies early, mayhaps? Come think of it, I reckon he was noisy late at night and early mornings this time last year? I may be wrong, of course. ♫ It’s not unusual for Inchcock to be wrong… ♫

I got the computer on, and many comments on my blogs were received. It was from Bill, so I answered him. Off to make a mug of Thompson’s Punjana, and I took this morning shot of the view from the kitchen window. Not exactly awe-inspiring, is it?

I went back to the computer and checked the Emails.

Morrison and J Sainsbury’s had set a list of their substitutions and not available goods in today’s orders to be delivered.
Not good, is it? Still, I can give away the Tikka substitute; Deana might like them. The tomatoes should be okay. It’s funny how they always send dearer than the original substitutions.
JS had done even worse than Morrisons; that takes some doing. Same thing, dearer substitutes.
But they failed to tell me that the cheaper chilli cans I’d ordered were going to be substituted with a lot dearer ones! Humph! Anyway, I started to get things stored away. The Imperfect Tasty Strawberries were one for Deana and one for Francis, who I hope she’s back from the hospital by now and feeling better. I’ll ask Deana later.
Ah, my treats to myself here! Vegetarian shepherd’s pie, roast potatoes, veggie pasta, and sliced potatoes (well, it cuts back on chopped fingers!). Seasoned fresh cut chips as well… Oh, and a new one to me, Silky Butternut Squash Risotto; no idea what it will taste like, but without trying it, I’ll never know. Did you see that? Words of Wisdom… from me! Hehehe! Beefburgers and pot noodles for Carer Richard. Some individually portioned sticky rice pots and substituted No Chicken Tikka Masala with rice. I tried the one I ordered cause I knew I was okay with sweet & sour sauce. But I’ve tried Tikka before and did not like it. Are J Sainsbury staff told to select lousy substitutions on purpose? Is not sweet & Sour Chinese? And Tikka Indian?

At least they didn’t send me a pot of brown shoe polish this time. I’m not joking; I ordered potato cakes once and got a shoe polish pad!
Still, the owner has just lost a family member, the Queen. So, say no more. At least Morrison’s managed to deliver my favourite ready meal of all time. Roast Vegetable Risotto. It’s cracking tasty! I always put just a drop of BBQ sauce with it. And the packet of mushroom risotto I had yesterday, I think it was, was grand.
This is a loaf got the Wardens, cause it keeps fresher longer… someone told me.
I got some brown cobs for me from Lord Sainsbury: J Sainsbury plc is the parent company of Sainsbury’s Supermarkets Ltd, the third largest chain of supermarkets in the UK, with a 16.4% share of the market. As of 2021, the largest overall shareholder is the sovereign wealth fund of Qatar Royal Family Investment Authority, which holds 14.99% of the company. It is listed on the London Stock Exchange and is a constituent of the FTSE 100 Index. The chain’s annual report shows that chief executive Simon Roberts picked up £2.8 million in bonuses for the year to March 5, on top of his £878,000 a year salary and other benefits. His mammoth pay deal includes a £1.7 million annual bonus and £1.1 million in long-term incentive scheme shares. Shame no one there knows the difference between a Chinese meal and an Indian one. Just thought I’d mention it! Not that I have anything against the Indians, they have my greatest respect and admiration. It’s just that their food does not sit well with me. Where was I?

Oh, yes… These were some of the giveaway items. I bought a few trays of fluffy rice. I just thought Deana might like one to try. Hope she likes Tikka.
She did call later after I’d got everything put away… Ah, something else I forgot to mention… A pack of six 1 litre Spring Water was delivered today; luckily, it was the first thing I moved into the kitchen from the blocked by food doorway. I felt the leaking water running down my leg onto the carpet; I then dropped the bottles when I got into the kitchen. What a mess I got into, and cleaning it up was no fun!
I lost the plot there… Sorry.
I put the flowers on the trolley, ready for when Deana or Julie, or both, came to see me about the lift for Friday.
Richard told me Deana would be calling today to see me. Which she did.

She told me she’s arranged for the lift on Friday to be for 10:00hrs So, hopefully, I can get to the B&M store to get some of the canned drinks that the Carers took to. I got some last week… no, a fortnight ago. But they all went first, but  I just cannot remember what they were called. When I see the cans, I’ll know, He says… Hehehe!
Onto the computer to make a start on this blog at long last.

♫ Oh, Susana… ♫ Hello, who’s that? It was Esther, after her six-week break visiting her family in South Africa for two weeks, that turned out to for four more. Can’t blame her! She’s calling tomorrow to do the laundry. She asked for a pen so she could write a note to another customer and post it through his door – I made sure I got the pen back this time! Hehe! 

I believe the sudden fatigue is coming back again now. 14:00hrs?
I’ll get a vegetable risotto in the microwave and add one bay-sized fluffy rice after three minutes, so they are ready at the same time. A drop of BBQ sauce will be added after cooking. This week I shall try harder to avoid any burnt fingers or dropped items when struggling to get the lid off of the trays.
The foods were both nearly ready. I made up a pot of Idaho instant mash with bubble & squeak, adding some extra-strong grated cheese and a quirt of my made-up to the bottle of liquid salt & distilled vinegar to the pot. Added a mini-pot of lemon mousse to the tray and got into the recliner to feast!


I had a cough and thought I saw some specs of blood in the tissue, well, the paper towel I used.
The meal was cooling as I checked the nose and mouth. Nowt to fret over, but puzzlingly all the ulcers in the gums seem to have erupted at the same time. I didn’t realise I’d got so many pustules in the gums. As for why this happened, I remain, as ever nowadays, confused.
Finally, I began the feast, ’cause that’s what it was, and even though I’ll let it cool more than I meant to, it was delicious! A Taste-Rating of 9.3/10!

I put the tray on the Carers desk next to the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, Harold Haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable from, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner. And drifted of with a satisfied stomach into a wonderful – but short-lived, dream-filled sleep.
♫ Oh, Susana… ♫ chimed out and brought me rudely to a state of semi-wakefulness. Blow it; I can’t remember her name now. Humph! She apologised for being late and mentioned how rushed she was. She soon got the medications sorted; and, with what seemed a reluctance, ask if there was anything else. There was, but she seemed so pressed I didn’t mention anything. A nice gal, I told her to pick a treat on her way out.
I think I was about to nod off again when I remembered I’d not locked the door. So, I locked it…


Turning back from locking the door, I thought I’d have a look through the spy hole – which proved near fatal. Hehe! I twisted my back as I turned again, setting off poor and, at almost the same time, stubbed my toe on the three-wheel walker guide wheel… but I’d not finished yet. Oh, no!
Cursing my bad luck under my breath, and went into the wet room for a wee-wee and apply some Phorpain gel to Shirley. And walked into the doorframe, hit the shoulder, stopped, and automatically pee’d in my PPs, and I felt like crying. But I resisted it, after all being the heroic, stoic, brave, strong young man that I am…
At least Bladder-Belinda’s sudden leak came when I was in the wet room.
I evacuated the remaining few drops of urine from Bladder-Belinda. Stripped off and had a good clean-up. Germoloided Harold’s Haemorrhoids,
And got the crap, not very effective  MedPhorpainPhorpain gel, rubbed into my back as best that I could get at. Surprisingly, the toe stinging started to ease off?
Got some fresh PPs on, the Depend brand that had coped admirably well with Bladder-Belinda’s earlier escaping mini-torrent. was left until last. Because the shoulder charge on the wet room doorframe had set her off shuddering away, but now she had calmed down.
It took me so long to sort things out that by the time I was leaving the wet room, the and , were of little bother now.
Of course, now I had to rely on to get me through the doorway without any . Easy-peasy! I think that when I go going into the room and the light blaring at my eyes is why there are more walk-intos than when leaving the wet room?

A momentary Sherlock Holmesian conclusion there?Haha!

I got settled into the c1968 recliner seat…
Tired out, with Thought STorms to compete,
My mood was just a tad downbeat,
Thought of the Risotto… that was a treat!
Cramps now, in the fingers, legs and feet!
I must be getting closer to the scrapheap,
Losing my battle for peace and sleep…
My life seems full of things grossièreté!
Don’t know when, but I got nodded off alreet…
Dreamt I was on holiday; it looked like Crete?
2:55hrs, I sprang wide awake. Did I oversleep?
Asleep only five minutes, I could weep!

MORNING ALL!

Tuesday 20th September 2022: Ode Cartoon & Diary

/ Inchie / Leave a comment

TUESDAY’s POLITICAL CARTOON
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Not that I’d had any sleep to wake up from, but I dropped some pluppets of wind, then moved into a position ready to free myself from the clutches of the second-hand, £300, c1968, overwhelmingly-sickeningly beige coloured, tatty, uncomfortable, wobbly-recliner. At this stage, I changed plans and made my way to the wet room for the. The was also needed a visit.
I whipped down the sleeping slacks sharpishly, fearing a partially liquid evacuation. Splurge-splatter all over and done within seconds!
Ah, now the teeth breaking… I mean cleaning and the potentially dangerous shaving to be done.

I wetted the chops and neck, then a good covering of shaving cream, and I was off. The blood flowed at the first glide of the four-blade razor down the chin! Several minor nicks followed, and one at the back of the neck that I could not get to see. So, after doing the teeth, breaking GC broken toothanother lump out of the double molar, which also bled away! It was bleeding long after I’d finished the ablution and got dressed. I discovered that I’d torn the gum as well, but still, I managed to stop it in the end.

The only other ailment bothering me was . Very tender! Duodenal Donald and Anne Gyna were being sweethearts this morning. And Dizzy Dennis, , and the recent nuisance was nice and calm, too! Worrying innit?

I went to make a brew of Glengettie tea and took this photograph of the dark dank morning out there. To me, it looked nothing like on here when I viewed it on the viewer screen on the camera. Most disappointed in my efforts, I thought it would be much sharper?

Arrived. Richard was in the much better form today. We had a netter and chinwag. Seemed to go on for ages. I enjoyed us putting the world to rights. Hehehe! Took his lesser-filled treats bag with him, taking the waste bag with him. I think I mentioned something to him as he went down the lobby, and I have a feeling it was about something important, but I’m blown if I can remember what it was about now.

I got out the Boot’s Sphygmomanometer, manufactured by ZDEAC (Zhongshan Daguan Electrical Appliance Company Ltd) in Guangdong, China, out and working. And what a change in the figures today!

The up and down results continue.
SYS 132 (lowest for a week!) The DIA was within range at 72. The pulse had, at last, come down to 87 after five says being in the red zone.

And the body temperature was the best for weeks, at 34.3°f!

.I put the new figures for today into the Excel graph. I wanted to get an average reading, but it’s so long since I’ve used Excel I wouldn’t remember how to do it. Can’t read the advice I found on the web; when I zoom in, it gets more blurred than ever.

It’s times like this, and the same as yesterday when I made a right mess with WordPress and nearly lost the day’s blog. That I wish the Cataract operation would come soon.

I pondered over the failed morning view taken earlier. I do a lot that, you know, pondering. Hehehe! Trying to think what I’d done wrong. Especially after last night’s decentish sun-setting shots.

You are forgiven for not believing what this photo was of that I took next… Tsk!
Go on, have a guess. Haha! Yet again, it looked nothing like this disaster on the viewer screen? The red light shows, was the back of the Lumix, the charging of the battery light. Obviously, I took this with the Fuji camera. So that’s a mess I’ve made of a Lumix picture. And a disaster with the Fuji. Has the Cataract gotten worse? Am I going bonkers? Have I lost it altogether? Humph!

Just to put yet another dampener on things, I stood up to go and get the kettle on.
Yes…
Much pissed-offed language flowed, a few naughty words were uttered, and my mood dipped again, my interest in everything flailed, and depression dawned… not to mention the agony it left me in! It also pulled viciously at and her knee!
MedPhorpainI got a great dollop of Phorpain gel and rubbed it energetically all around the right knee. It did not ease the pain at all. So I took another Codeine.

Then, the same as the week before last, the instant fatigue come over me. I knew I just had to sit myself down and likely fall asleep. I had the forethought to make some rice for a meal, in case I’m in the land of nod for as many hours was last Thursday, or was it Wednesday? Luckily the rice can be cooked in the microwave, but of course, I can’t read for how long. Huh, then I remembered forgetting to ask Richard to read it this morning!
I’m going to get the rice done and sat down. I’m not feeling very good at all now?

Made myself some rice, added mushrooms and a bit of BBQ sauce.
The flavour rating, as best I recall, is 7/10.
Then I flopped down in the c1968 recliner and, for hours, did my best to get some sleep. My body instructed me to.
Nonetheless, I stayed awake. I did come close to nodding off a couple of times, but on the first occasion, started banging about upstairs and woke me. I think this is when I took these two photos?
Not sure, though. But it was light, so must have been around then. Both of and from the balcony.

The next time I was about to find bliss with Sweet Morpheus, ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ burst from the door chime.
Struggled up and to the door. It was Josie bringing the dishes and tray back from her Sunday lunch.

Finally… at last, around 18:00hrs, it was getting dark, and I actually drifted off to sleep! But moments later sprang awake with a jump. Unsure of why I had to get up to check the front door, intercom, mobile, and each room in case something had toppled over or similar. It gave me chance to unlock the front door before a carer arrived, at least. Nothing untoward or possible reason for whatever did wake me up with such a jolt and had my mind and body limbs threshing out.

Then minutes later, I was close again to joining Sweet Morpheus; and ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ burst from the door chime. It was the Sam arriving. Despite the rude awaking, I was glad to see Sam. Who dealt me the medications, and she closed the curtains for me. Choice of nibbles in thanks.

Sleep was still resistant, despite my body and mind begging for some.
No idea when I did drop off into the land of nod, but when I woke up, I felt a lot easier and fresher. And with a frantic need of the Porcelain Throne!

Sunday 18th September 2022

/ Inchie / Leave a comment

POLITICAL CARTOON OF THE DAY
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Sad, it really is. Hehehe!


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These sunsetting photos were missed from yesterday’s blog. Naturally, this was the combined faults of Dementia Doreen and Cataract Katie. Also, as well as, and besides them; Anne Gyna for giving me grief as I was checking the blog on completion, and Sock Glide Gladys for moving from where I left her after using her in the morning, behind the trolley, so that I stubbed my toe against her sold metal constructed frame. Life’s a game!

Gorgeous!
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Hayley Mills

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? Hehehe!

I woke around midnight, in urgent need of a weewee. Which was another visit that turned into the visit. After this and a couple of others, there was no chance of more sleep for me.
So, I got, for the first time in my life, a can of Pepsi Cola to drink, And I can now state that I liked Pepsi better than Coke. Haha! Haha! If Pepsi Co. would like a written commendation, my fees will not be excessive.
I spent four hours getting the Saturday blog updated and sent off, unbroken, even for a weewee or mug of tea.

Did you ask how the hell can the old pillock take so long? Easy-peasy! I struggled with my eyesight and made many mistakes, some that Grammarly missed; these amendments cost me a lot of time. When I finally (I thought) got it ready for the final run-through, read and check. I found many of the amendments I’d made to be wrong as well. It was as if someone else was in charge of my fingers? I got fed up with finding faults and sent it off as it was… frustrated and annoyed at myself.

I took a break to make the first brew of the morning, Thompson’s Punjana. While making it, I checked that everything was in the fridge for making Josie’s Sunday lunch. It’s getting harder now to cut up the small vegetables so Josie can cope with them, but I do get something out of doing it for her… satisfaction and almost pride!

I decided to prep the veg then and there. I got mushrooms, potatoes, carrots and gungo beans ready and in the pan. Sliced some yellow peppers and tomatoes up small. The green beans, I’ll cut later; they will be overdone if they go in too early.
A can of mixed vegetables, liquid salt, vegan Oxo, BBQ, and basil seasonings. Stirring all the time to start with. After half an hour, I left them to settle and marinate and added the no-bacon-bacon bits. A little short on potatoes this week; I hope she doesn’t notice cause she’ll tell me if she does. Cubing them can be risky.
I was cooking the mushrooms separately. There is a design as to why. Sometimes the gravy can dry up, so I leave the vegetable seasoned water from cooking the mushrooms in the pan, then I can use it later as a tasty addition to the stew, come chilli, to loosen the food for her.
I returned to the computer for a while and started on the Ode and graphic making on CorelDraw.

Back to check on the fodder… As I anticipated, the stew was getting a little too thick for Josie’s tastes, so I went to get the saucepan with the mushroom water… Twas then that I realised I had turned on the wrong hob! The back of the right-hand middle finger coped for it, but that is better than the left. The nerve ends on the Peripheral Neuropathy side, and I hardly felt any pain. Of course, once the eyes saw it, the pain instantly developed; Haha!
I poured some of the mushroom juice into the saucepan and gave it a good stir!
Then went to put some Germolene cream on the finger. The right knee was really giving me so jip now as well.

I returned to the kitchen, added the sliced earlier green beans to the mix, and stirred again.

Had a taste of it and felt it was just about right for Josie’s taste buds to be tickled.

Back to the CorelDraw tasks, and got the Ode written and graphics for the blog. This was a mammoth undertaking with all the errors I was making.

♫ Oh, Susana ♫ rang out from the door chime. Blimey, I’d forgotten all about the Carer not calling! It was about 08:00hrs. Weekend again, so nothing unusual. Jozeph came in, and we had a natter after he’d done the medications. Not for too long, he had another call to make. Offered him a treat of his choice and asked him to take the waste bag with him, which he did.

Now I got serious about CorelDrawing.

Did the health checks and made up this graph with a photo of the thermometer, sphygmomanometerisationing, and all the results.

I half expected the blood pressure to fall today; cause it’s been excessively high for a few days now.

However, even though I didn’t anticipate it being as low as it was, I was so nearly in the red Zone for the first time ever! , Ahem!

I have no views or ideas of what the readings will reveal or what it will be like tomorrow. A wild guess? Erm… nothing coming through to me from my EQ… stab in the dark, mayhap…
SYS 138, DIA 64, Pulse, that will still be high methinks, 92bpm? Body temperature… er… 32.4¸f,
And overall, mayhaps, just in the Pre-High bracket?
It will be interesting to see now that I’ve had a guess. Of course, it could go up further, and I’ll kick the bucket; that would ruin the guessing game. I wonder if Billum at Manor Labs will have a guess? A clever bloke is that lad.

Oh… Josie’s nosh… back in a bit…

I only just made it in time for the allotted 12:00hrs delivery of the meal for Josie. I hurried that much; I forgot all about taking a photo of it, mind you, had I grabbed one, the delivery would have been late for the first time ever… well, over the last three or four years.

Back in the flat after being told off for giving her too big a nosh, that would make her like Betty Bunter. Hahaha! And made a brew of Glengettie tea.

I made a Morrison order. Initially, to get some of their roasted vegetable ready meals (No one else sells them), the best-prepared meal I’ve ever bought – Bootiful! Coming next Wednesday twixt 8-9:00hrs. Sister Jane would like these methinks.

Went on the WordPress Reader, and WP let me in today.

Food time now; I’ll go and see what’s available. Not a lot.
The ‘slimmers’ chips certainly look tatty and have thick skins on every one of the chips. Yet they still tasted so nice – different to any other chips. A significant variance in size too. From 4 inches to ¼ inch in length. Taste Rating: 6.2/10.

Of course, having these chips is all a part of my ‘Get Inchies Belly Slimmer campaign’. I’m determined and have a new tenacity to get lighter! Nothing is going to stop me.

I made an order from Morrisons. I didn’t realise that I had made it for the same day as the Sainsbury one!
I got on the computer to change it, but no other day was available. So I managed to get it for later in the day, so they should not arrive at the same time. In’t it a struggle to change an order’s delivery time?

Went to the kitchenette to find I’d left the oven on and the hot tap running! I hate Dementia Doreen!

I turned the oven off and tap… too late for the faucet; the water was stone cold! I’ll have to do the ablutions in the morning. Turned to grab Metal Micky, and somehow I missed him altogether! Not really surprising; the cataracted eyes get a lot worse as I grow more tired. Then, as I bent down to retrieve the walking stick, I got a visit from Dizzy Dennis. I went down on one knee… Thud!

 

I went to the wet room, and  I put some of the Phorpain Gel on the knee. But it has little effect.
So I grabbed a packet of Co-codamol and took one. ‘That should ease things, I thought to myself.
Ha! What a twit!
I realised I’d not taken a Co-codamol, but a Galpharm capsule! Now, these are effective medications! But for blocking up the torpedo’s escape route! I’m not looking forward to my next visit to the !

Finally, I did manage to take a Co-codamol. After checking the taps, I got Metal-Micky and left the wet room…
CLUNK! I felt a depression with a trickling of self-pity coming on. Hehe! Walked straight into the doorframe!
Back in the wet room, Phorpained the shoulder, as an irritable, annoyed was getting revenge on me for clouting her again.

And feeling a little down, I sat myself down in the £300, used, bought eight years ago from the second-hand shop, Harold Haemorrhoid testing, repugnantly beige-coloured, crumb containing, virus-breeding, acne-giving, rickety, none-working recliner, and the Thought Storms began.
I decided it has to be the tiredness and Cataract deterioration causing many of these evenings, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops. I can do nothing about this situation and try to be patient while waiting for the cornea operation. Here is the farce so far… The First appointment:

How things developed:

① When the optician told me I had cataracts in both eyes, she informed the Doctor that I would need to have the situation appraised at the EENT department. The Doctor will arrange this for you.
② Eight months later, I got an appointment for the first assessment. Which was for three months later!
③ They kindly put a lift for me to the meeting. On going in with the driver, he was walking so fast, I lost him! Eventually, I found the wrong reception, and the patients waiting helped me find out where I should be with the receptionist with a squeaky voice that I could not hear.
④ I assent to two other locations and had tests of different natures in each one. Then told to go to the reception and book a lift for the following assessment.
⑤ Could I find the proper reception? No! But, a nurse helped me as she passed, and I found it. The following evaluation was for 2 months. The receptionist pointed her finger at the corner of the large waiting room, where I should wait to be collected from.
⑥ I sat down, and within 2 hours, the lift home ambulance arrived.

THE SECOND ASSESSMENT
① On this trip, they dropped me outside the EENT, and I proudly made my way to the reception needed.
② Two completely different examinations in two separate rooms, the lady in the first was pleasant and liked a laugh between the machines I was put on. ③ Then she escorted me to the subsequent office/surgery that was a way off the first. ④ The Doctor in this one did everything silently, forcing himself to speak when he had to.
⑤   I found the proper reception all on my own, and this time, had to wait three hours for a lift home/

THE THIRD ASSESSMENT

① Arrived at the EENT, and the driver kindly escorted me through at a nice slow pace to the reception  From where I was sent to yet another different waiting area  No reception in that one.
② Only a couple of minutes later, I was fetched into a cramped little office with various weird-looking (to me) optical machines in it.
③ The lady explained that if this test finds things to be out-of-shape, then the operation will not be able to go ahead, and she did the in-depth examination, which took about an hour  A smile came over her face when she declared that things as far as this test was concerned are okay for the op  She wished me good luck.
④ Told me to return to where I was sat when she collected me, and someone will fetch me for the final checking with the optometrist, who will make the final decision on recommending me to an ophthalmologist for surgery. If it is safe enough, Bless her!
⑤ Ah, this was obviously a decision-making lady. No humour, serious throughout. Knew her job, and seemed good at it as far as I could appreciate
⑥ She had an assistant, a young Asian lad, who did some more tests on a different machine. Testing the reactions of the eye to bouncing colours this one. 
⑦ The two of them discussed the findings for ten or fifteen minutes; I could not hear what was said, of course. The lady seemed to be teaching the young man and declared he should do the test again.
⑧ Back to the machine at the man’s desk. I sensed a little tension in the lad, so I gave him a smile and got one back in return, and he seemed to cheer up a smidgeon. As the test was completed, he showed his crossed fingers, which I took as a hopeful sign.
⑧ He sent the details of this test via his computer to the lady’s monitor, and I waited whilst they discussed the new test results.
⑨ Fifteen minutes later, she turned to me and told me that I had a deformed cornea, which was going to be challenging to reproduce in plastic, but she was willing to try, as the chances of success were within official limits. That’s all, she added…
I thanked her and the gentleman and made my way to the first reception to ask for a lift. I got lost en route, but I recovered when advised by someone I asked for guidance.
The wait for the lift home was only about an hour, but the tests had taken so much longer this visit. When I got home, it was turning dark.

Blimey, I waffled on there, sorry!

Saturday Diary & Ode: 17th September 2022

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

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To my cyber-buddy and fellow none-fitter-innerer Billumski!
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I think I had more sleep last night than I have in any week! Sadly, it was all in bits and pieces, broken by being woken and my habit of straying off doing things after I’d needed one of the several wee-wees. Also, some persistent Thought-Storms of an aggressive nature.

But I returned to the doubtful comfort of the £300, bought eight years ago from the second-hand shop, Harold Haemorrhoid testing, repugnantly beige-coloured, crumb containing, virus-breeding, acne-giving, rickety, none-working recliner; after each hobble about, or moving things around for no reason, and rearranging of a food cupboard. Why? I anticipate finding other things that I may well have done in my noctambulations later on.

I lay there, pondering over this and that, and anything and the bowels decided to try and evacuate the inner product of its own accord… There followed a sequence of events that were events that were worthy of the Comedy Sketch of a Year Award. I thank heavens there are no CCTV cameras in this flat!

①: I fumbled and bumbled my way up onto my feet; crumbs, the TV remote and a part-eaten packet of pistachio nuts hit the floor and spread all over the carpet... 
②: No time for the waking-up to catch my balance routine, I grabbed Metal-Micky, and on the first imitation step, I found one of the pistachio nuts with my left foot.
③: So, as I crumpled onto the floor, my right knee found another escaped Pistachio nut!
④: I went through some pain getting up again, and was only concerned at that moment with getting to the in time… The narrow hallway walls sustain me getting into the wet room, for Metal Micky was laying somewhere in the front room wherever it was, I’d dropped him in the tumble.
⑤: The fight to get the pyjamas down delayed me and caused more panic; I tore them, in the end, to get them down quicker…
⑥: To no avail, I fear! The bladder and bowels won this one! They both started before my bum got down on the plastic .
⑦: At least things were over quickly, but they left me with I don’t know how long to put right and clean up the wet room, then the exit points had to be cleaned and medicated. Fortunately, I keep a supply of the PPs and large kitchen towels with the Germolene and Germolids to hand in the wet room. Along with the aftershave and plasters to steady any shaving cuts or leaks from Little Inchies Fungal Lesion while I’m doing the ablutions.

I can’t understand why now; no doubt it made sense at the time, but I felt a little smug at coping with these embarrassments and decided to get the done while I was in there.
The right knee was not in good shape after its attack on the Pistachio nut earlier. Hehe! in shaving, left me using the plasters and the aftershave to stop the bleeding! Little Inchies Lesion was not leaking; all were okay!   Oh, and the hair at the lower back of the head come neck is definitely growing again – white! I shaved it off.
After getting things all sorted, new PPs and socks (that were a hell of a job to get them on!) on, The right knee was now very tender!  I packed the affected PPs in the disposal bag and returned to get Metal Micky from the recliner room…
When I got back in the room, I thought I’d had burglars! I’d cleared the shelf above the electric fire of all the rubbish, and that had joined the crumbs and food on the carpet! Making it worse, a bottle of disinfectant I keep there for the wee-wee bucket had lost its cap when it got knocked over!
I’d also like to know how I managed to get Metal Micky left right in the corner her the bookcase? I think it would a physical impossibility, surely? Anyway, it was hard enough trying to retrieve it; I had to climb over the many fallen object to get to it – so I used the long picker-upperer. Cunning that, I thought!
I got Micky back with the stick and was almost on the verge of congratulating myself as I turned around and against the shredder. Another flipping moment!

I stopped doing everything. And mountaineered my way to the recliner, resisting crying, and just sat down and spoke to myself as calmly as I could… “This is not a good start. Fair enough, the bladder and bowels are out of your control, as are your fingers, feet, legs, shoulder etc… no good getting depressed, mate; it’s just how it is. What you need is some help when things like this happen. I agreed with myself, called myself a pratt, and did my belated balance exercise.
At this point, I noticed the clock… that was on the floor with all the other jetsam and flotsam – I checked with my watch, and they both indicated it was only 04:30hrs! Christ, what time did I get up then?

I swore to take things calmly from here on today. And tackled the mammoth job of cleaning and sorting things out in the room. I’m not saying I didn’t have a few moments of self-pity cause I did feel sorry for myself once or twice. But found the determination to just press on with the sorting. No rushing, doing it quietly. I got something out of it at the end of the task, I’d got three waste bags full of rubbish to go to the chute. Hahaha! Somehow or other, I perked up a smidgeon, too! It was well gone eight O’clock by the time I’d sorted the mess. Then I made a prayer for it not to happen again for a while, please.

It then dawned on me… the Morning Carer had not been yet? Quick as a flash, I realised it was a Saturday, so no fretting. Meridian was very late arriving last Saturday as well. They do have trouble getting staff at the weekend, it seems. Moments later, a call came in through the landline, and it was from Meridian.
The lady told me that the Carer was outside and could not get in. I took it as she was outside the building and told her to press the intercom 72 and I could let her in… then I thought I’d better check, and I inquired if she was outside the door or the flats? But the lady did not know. I said I’d get my walking stick and go have a look. Got the Wooden Wilmer stick, and I went to the door.
The Carer was outside of the flat door, complaining because she could not get the key lock code to work. I smiled gently, using one of my calming half-smiles, and told her I can’t either! And broke into a broad grin. That did it, I think; I caught her heart!   Hahaha! I explained that the door was not locked; sometimes, I forget to unlock it, but not often. If she presses this button, pointing out the door chime, I will hear it, but not anyone knocking on the door. I’m deaf, senile and decrepit, but that can’t be helped. She did larf! I liked her straight away.

Her name was Sinead, not seen before. I think she was from another assignment somewhere else; that’s why she was late, getting me added to her list. Nice gal, we had a little chinwag. She said she’d come again if she got the chance.

Well, I’ve still not done the Health Checks yet, better get them done. The last time I did them later in the day, the figures were down, so here’s hoping.

Well, that didn’t help much, doing it late, did it? Ah, well, as a part of my commitment to resist swearing, feeling sorry for myself and keeping calm, all I can say is: Hey-Ho!

Time to sort out something for dinner; no bother making up my mind today; I’ve a fancy for some chips and a veggie burger! The chips are oven ones that claim to be vegan. looking forward to trying them.
and Yet again, the photo I took of the meal has evaporated into the ether! I’d love to know how this happens; cause I took a look at it after shooting it and was pleased with the result. Come the morning, when I uploaded the last few photographs, there it was gone! Grrr!
The chips looked very tattie and were thick-skinned, but I did enjoy them all the same. Taste-Rating: 6.5/10.

Arrived, it was Sharon; I knew her name the second she told me after I asked her what it was! (Dementia Doreen again!) She didn’t stay long, but we managed a mini-natter before she chose her treats and departed.

Washed the pots, locked the door and a rinse, and made for the warmth of the rickety c1966 recliner. I feared that I may not be able to get back to sleep and put the telly on… but could I find anything worth watching? No!
I mused over which DVD to watch. Whilst doing so, I drifted off into Sweet Morpheus’ land… Nice!

Two hours later, I woke in desperate need of a wee-wee! The memories of this morning’s facial, embarrassing and painful events came flooding back.
Would I make it to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) in time without any more Accifauxpas? again, but I got things flowing without any disasters.
Stopping it flowing was the problem! The went on and on… I was almost tired out by the time it ended. Hehehe! I did have a mini during the leaking, but it only lasted for seconds – !

I felt the warm wet sensation when I pulled up the PPs. So, off I limped with Metal Micky to change the pants and clean up.
As I entered the wet room,
I stubbed my toe against the vicious, blood and bruise-bringing, metal, agony-to-use, brutal
!
I’m sure she had moved from this morning; I thought I’d put her safely out of the way behind the mop bucket… I’m sure I did! Now, she was near the sink? Obviously, the work of the mysteries of Winwood Heights, the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions and other grotesqueries haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchcock, to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare. worry and confuse me! Or maybe .

That was the end of any thoughts of getting back to sleep again!

Inchcock Today Wednesday 14th September 2022

/ Inchie / 16 Comments

POLITICAL CARTOON
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Sad, innit? Hehehe!
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I stirred into ersatz life around 0315hrs, in need of a wee-wee. By the time I’d caught my balance and was up on my feet grabbing Metal-Mickey, another need arose, that of the , and I made my way to the wet room,
I managed to give my right big toe a stubbing of excellent quality, pain-wise. On the end of the open door from the front room. Dropping Metal-Micky, which knocked a photo off of the corner unit and broke the glass of the frame!
I just had to sort the mess out there and then. I had a terribly hard job picking up all the glass while hoping and praying my efforts would be successful in containing or retaining the torpedo that was getting anxious to be freed!
I got it cleaned up, the photo back loosely in the frame. With Back-Pain-Brenda giving me some gip, I dare not hobble in the usual fashion, so I shuffled as speedily as I could manage to the awaiting closet.
  Got into the landing position for the seat, dropped the stick, and then whipped down the jammie bottoms and PP’s in one go; and plunk! I’d not even hit the plastic before the evacuation began.
After a few seconds, there was a worrying hold-up that needed some input on my behalf to get things moving again. Once I got through that snag, things went smoothly again and were not as painful as usual. A few specks of blood from Harolds Haemorrhoids, I reckon, the blood, what bit there was of it, did not have runniness that Little Incies Fungal Lesion shoots out.
The hot water was running better today. Still not like it used to be, but beggars can’t be choosers.
Made up two waste bags; most of the contents were from last night’s farcical series of & last night when I was making the worst ever mess of cooking an uneatable meal. I cringed when I wrote that, remembering all the mistakes I made doing it! I got Richard’s treats ready, not those in the fridge, too early.

Got the computer on, and the mind did it again… I had to sit there, totally incapable of gathering my thoughts or concentration. This happens now and again; I thought maybe it did last night when I was making the meal?

Notwithstanding, within a few minutes, the problems started with WordPress. It would not show the comments on the site page again. Which meant going through the comments tag, which offers no ‘Like’ button, and I always like to use that. Humph!

Nokia

Scam Text!

Around 05:00hrs, I got sa message on the mobile. An odd hour to get one of these, I thought… I heard the new louder tone I’d selected the other day, but could I find the phone? No! Well, not for what seemed like an hour of searching for it, Hehehe! I eventually gave up, and when I got back to the computer after searching each of my three rooms and clothes in the hallway, and knocked the pen off of the desk, got the picker-upperer to retrieve it and – spotted the phone in my slipper? Why I didn’t look there first, I don’t know… Hehehe! I’d love to know how and why it ended up on the slipper. But it will remain a Dementia Doreen’s secret, as a part of the mysteries and enigmas of Woodthorpe Court! The ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions and other grotesqueries that haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for me to create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare, worry and baffle me!
I was so annoyed when I opened the message; It was one I’d been having for a year or two. ‘You have been in contact with a confirmed Covid case. Ring this number…’ Grrr! Scammers!

Arrived, looking a little weary the lad was. But we chatted away merrily… well, some of it wasn’t so merry. I told him of my frustration at WordPress not allowing me access to the comments and told him the problems it gave me.

He tried to help as best he could in between his yawnings. But between us, we got more lost with it. Hehehe! Gave him his treats; if anyone deserves them, Richard does. He always goes further in trying to help than any other Carers do. Bade Richard farewell, and I made a brew of Glengettie. There’s a story to this mug of tea: I put the kettle on and saw I was low on teabags in the caddy. So, went into the cupboard to get some more Glengettie out to fill the caddy. And found two tea bags that had fallen at the back. They were round ones, so not Thompsons. They had to be Glengettie, Co-op 99, or J Sainsbury extra-strong. Funny, how can one get distracted by little pointless things like this? I thought I’ll use one now, but it fell to pieces as I picked it up – Gawd, I thought, how long has that been there? I sniffed the other one, which smelt like a Glengettie to me, and made a brew with it; I’ll know by its taste. It was a Glengettie! Amazing how long they last, innit? Lost none of strength or bitterness that is usual with Glengettie. Just thought I tell yer…

Got the Tuesday blog finished and posted. Then made a start on today’s Ode. Got it finished and doctored, then got carried away, adding to the ode-word list… I can’t help it; I love words.

The ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ tune rang from the doorbell. I thought it might be Josie bringing the Sunday lunch tray and things back; thank heavens she’s not left it till later and woke me up again. But no, it wasn’t Josie! I opened the door, and there were some homegrown tomatoes on the floor… which had to be Jenny donating to me.
Always have a tangy taste bite to them, these that Jenny gives me. She knows I love them. Bless her.
I checked on the condition of the sourdough bread from yesterday.
I immediately, and that’s fast for me; I decided to have the bread, well buttered, and tomatoes for lunch… tea or dinner… maybe supper today.

I was late again in getting the done. This could have been that with doing them late yesterday and the graph going into the amber, I’d subconsciously left it late again? I got out the thermometer and started sphygmomanometerisationing.

Well, it was only a thought. Hehehe!
Back up to the danger reds level two, Hypertension stage.
SIA 169, DIA 75, Pulse 78 or 8, and the Body Temperature at 3.34°f.

This up and down is bothering me a smidgeon. I did mention it to the Doctor  I got no suggestions or instructions. In fact, I got no response at all.
It’s being so popular that’s keeping me going, you know! Haha!

I’ve started to keep a new record of the once-daily readings on Excel. It doesn’t look too good, just the two in the green
results over four days. Mmm! Hehehe! It’ll change soon; it always does; you watch, then a day or two later, it’ll shoot up again.

Time to get the bread and tomatoes prepared, methinks.
Bootiful clouds out there when I was slicing the tomatoes, slicing and buttering the bread and getting some chips in the oven. Luckily I have several plasters to pick from when I cut the finger.

I got the chips in the oven and spread some imitation butter on the slices of sourbread. Cut the tomatoes and went to do a J Sainsbury order for next week… but… Hard to believe, I know.


Obviously, Liberty-Global, Virgin Media supremo Mr Fries, has not managed to go four days without the signal going down. Still, as long as he gets his paltry salary of $23.6 million a year, plus bonuses and an expense account, why should he be interested in his customers? You must admire the man’s chicanery, thaumaturgy, figure-shuffling, slithery sidestepping and number-crunching. That somehow fools his bosses that he knows what he’s doing. I hate him, but I’m still jealous of the con-man supreme.

Got the fodder on the tray with a pot of lemon mousse, and I gobbled it all up without any bother. Mind you, it was a small meal for me. Purposely of cause, you see, as a part of my new diet regime. I am determined to lose weight by hook or by crook. I’m dedicated to it…

Two came tonight. Neither rang the door chime again. I mentioned this to both of them. I explained why, calmy, to them again why I wanted them to; “I could have been changing blood pants or taking a wee-wee; had I been doing either, the chime would have alerted me and given me time to stop you walking in and causing me embarrassment, you see?” I’m not sure it got through, and the new Carer seemed annoyed as if I’d told her off, saying We can’t get in your key safe. Well, the door wasn’t locked anyway? The regular gal was okay about it.

The hot water was still as hot as it used to be? Teggies did first, then the shaving – most cautiously. No more chunks of teeth fell off, one… I say…ONE tiny cut shaving, no dizzies, leg dances or banging into anything in the shower session! Brilliant!

Coming out from the ablutionalisationing, I went A-over-T on the towel airer! Clouting my head in the door on my way down. That’ll teach me to go into Smug-Modes! I’m going to try and stop going into them for a bit.

The view from the kitchen window was fantastic. Bootiful! That strip of light has been showing on clear nights for says now.

I put the computer on to see if Mr (Smoke & Mirrors) Fries crap Liberty-Global Virgin Media Internet service was back online – it was, but it ran relatively slow.

Back on the computer, and I updated this blog. Doing rather well at it, actually, for once. However. a . I finished my bottle of spring water and went to fetch tonic water from the kitchen. The view outside was now to me. Magnificent!

After a couple of further hours, I’d nearly finished this blog and was ready to check for errors – Hahaha! Why do I bother? I always miss a load of mistakes in every blog, anyway!

Gave me a short concert of clumps. Followed by a couple whirling noises… ending with a solid thud. I’d love to know what he’s making at this time of night… a drinks cabinet, mayhap? Hahaha!

Humph! Got the checking of the blog finished. I checked three times and found something wrong each time – I will not try again.

Hello, more sounds from Herbert above… I think I’ve worked out what he’s up to… I wonder who the man or woman is with him?

Morning all!

Tuesday 13th September 2022: Inchcock Today

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

POLITICAL CARTOON
WHAT HAVE WE DONE?
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The normal nodding off and waking up in a semi-panic, what felt like every few minutes, went on for hours. Eventually, I woke up in a rather desperate and sudden need of a wee-wee!
I fumbled about to get to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) in time... Embarrassment and self-hatred all at the same time… I failed to make it! The main reason was the discomfiting . Which came on before I’d got the PPs down… so that was a good thing. Even better was the way with which the Comfort pants contained the leaking liquid. Had I got the PP’s down before it came, I would have been in an even bigger mess! I clasped the lower regions and somehow got to the wet room with the wooden walking stick, and I used the WC. Despite the bladder letting me down again, I found some appreciation in how the PPs coped with it. I was pleased that I changed to these Depend pants now, more than ever. While cleaning things after taking the tinkle and refreshing my body, the need for the Porcelain Throne arrived. As I sat, alternating between trying to do the crossword puzzle and counting the cracks on the ceiling, as I awaited the cement inside to move, I realised how late it was! 06:45hrs!
Bit of panic then. I’d got s Sainsbury order coming this morning, twixt 06:00 > 10:00hrs, so I may miss it if I’m stuck sat on the Throne when it comes!
I foolishly, mayhaps, tried to force things along with all my might. Once it did start to move, it was swiftly over but so painful. And poor old Harold’s Haemorrhoids were bleeding badly, externally and internally. However, now having some Germoloid to hand, I could clean things up again and ease the stinging. Which I hastily did.
I tried the water taps again on the sink to see if the promised repair would provide me with hot water. Nope, just the tepidness once again.

By the time I’d sorted, washed and got dressed, leaving the door open in case the intercom rang, Richard, came in. He was in a rush again, but that did not stop the lad when he heard my tale of the hot water from calling the maintenance to get someone out yet again to look at it. Bless him.
Just before he left, the intercom rang, and I asked him if he wanted to wait to get the treats that were on the order. No, he had to go, up to the neck in it. Fair enough. Tanked him as the delivery was arriving.
I got the goods checked and returned some podded peas that had a sell by today tag on them. The brown sourdough loaf looked tasty – not to make sure there are no sliced fingers. Hehe!

The flowers for the wardens were what I’d call rustic yellow and red. Got some strawberries for them and chocolates, only need to add some cans of plonk. I rang Deana, but no answer; it might be a little early yet? Burgers for Richard.

Which I did.
Glad they had the Germoloids in stock. They didn’t have any of the Parmentier potatoes, Huh! I got stuff stored away, and I intended to get the Health Checks sorted out. Tried calling Deana again to tell her the nibbles had arrived, no reply.
Made my first brew of the day, a mug of Thompson’s Punjana. I forgot about doing the blood pressure and called Warden Julie, and I told her of the goodies ready to collect. Then, I got on the computer to update and post the Monday blog. The tea had gone cold. So I went to the kitchen to make another mashing.
In came Julie, quickly followed by Deana. I missed out on a natter cause they were talking between themselves, and I could not hear what about. Spit! I think I told them about the hot water.

Was busy making something mechanical, noisily.

It seems the hot water problem the Nottingham City Homes Maintenance could not solve has been passed on to a company called T&S.
Not that this chap could solve it for sure.
When I asked him what the problem was, he was honest enough to tell me he had no idea. all the tests he carried out showed it should be working properly. The only thing he’d changed was the thermostat, and he turned it up a smidgeon.
Well, three hours later, the water was indeed hotter. Nothing like as hot as it used to be, though, but I should be able to have a shave and shower in the morning.

What happened to the day? Nowt was done much, evening carer due shortly. Meal To get done. I’m going to make a chilli stew for myself. And will do my best not to cut any parts of my anatomy, slicing the sourdough bread to dip into the food. Hehe! I’ll it the meal prepared then… Oh, I’ve not done the Blood Pressure yet. I imagine it will be the opposite of yesterday’s panicking high? It does that a lot, up and downing.

Ah, much betterer indeed.
In fact, overall, one of the best for ages, methinks? ‘
I bet when I do the BP Graph site, it will be down low in the amber zone.

There, what did I tell yer? Two extremes in two days.
Ah, well, food preparation time for me.
I can’t help but think I’ve missed or forgotten something? Mmm!


ANOTHER INCHCOCK GASTRONOMIC DISASTER! What was I thinking about? How can even I; make so many cock-ups making just one meal?
Easily seems to be the answer! The good bit first, I didn’t cut any fingers slicing the sourdough bread… fair enough, I did drop the loaf, and did Back-Pain-Brenda no good at all, bending down to clear up the crumbs; then knocked the knife off of the counter. But it missed me. just blunted the tip of the knife.
It took me that long to clear up the crumbs; I lost more time trying to straighten the tip of the knife than I had to reheat the stew in the microwave.

The first spoonful indicated one of the reasons for the almost uneatable flavour I’d conjured up. (I looked in the waste bin later and realised this was true). I’d added a can of baked beans to the chilli stew, but think I put curry-flavoured beans in the pot, not plain ones!
I ate some of it, all the sourdough brown bread that was nice. I was soon back in the kitchen, putting the ¾s of the meal I’d not eaten into food bags to go to the chute in the black bags.
Where more causes of the calamity were discovered. The pot of BBQ seasoning I added was actually basil: the pot was still out on the top. Alongside it should have been a bottle of BBQ sauce from which I added a sludge or two to the meal… no, but there was a bottle of balsamic vinegar?
I shudder to give the taste rating any score at all it would have had to be a minus score. However, the sourdough bread was delightfully tasty. 1.2/10.

I washed the pots in the nearly hot water from the tap, and I got a packet of seaweed crisps to nibble and settled into the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy beige coloured, Harold Haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable from, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner, and went into a gloriously dream-filled sleep.

Jodie came in, not ringing the doorbell again. She hovered over my prostrate but crumpled adipocerous bellied body, giving out a loud but cheerful “How are you, okay?” I’m not sure if I answered or not! The visit was a blur, really.

I had planned to get up later and make a start on updating this blog… I meant later in the night. But I drifted off again, and I got another five hours of sleep in!
Waking at 03:35hrs, in need of a wee-wee.

Inchcock Today: Monday 12th September 2022

/ Inchie / 8 Comments

Inchcock Blames the new medications for this Ode.
They are called Talimogene Laherparepvec.
He hopes he will never have to ask for any.
How are you supposed to Pronounce it? Hehehe!
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Having to boil kettles and saucepans cause the hot water is not hot. And the shakes and dizzies have been rampant! So no Diary as such, just bits I can recollect, and from a few scribbled unreadable notes. Sorry! Owing to many cock-ups and the camera not working for some unknown reason.

06:30hrs: I woke; it’d been another night of waking ups again. And I rose, dragging the superfluously elephantine-bellied body up on the poor feet, and caught my balance. And went to check if the hot water was hot yet. It wasn’t!

I mused over whether or not to have a shave in the lukewarm water… the usual decision-making routine. Humming and hawing, dilly-dallying and generally fence-sitting, procrastination took over. After last night’s mega-shaving nicks, I was dubious… but I went ahead again and had a stand-up wash & shave. Amazing how one can cut oneself so easily! Of course, during the shaving session, I had a and , which ensured that the blood flowed. The cold hop water did nothing to stop it from flowing. So I had an expensive Brute splashing session that did the trick, temporarily.

Off to the kitchen, intending to make a brew of Thompson’s Punjana tea.
I got sidetracked by the moon that was still trying to get through.
Took the wide shot and then tried to get a decent zoomed-in picture. So, you can see, I didn’t exactly do a good job of it. Humph! No sooner had I zoomed in; guess who paid me another visit?

I got the waste bags made up, only two this morning for Richard; if he comes, it should be. I got his treats, and thank-you bag made up, all bar the fresh stuff in the fridge.

Next, I got the done. Another giant leap for mankind! Hehehe! Terrible results! SYS shot up to 173, DIA a massive 146, and even the Pulse was an astronomical 98!!!

Not good, is it? Can’t wait until tomorrow to see if it’s back down again. I mentioned these fluctuating results to the Doctor last week – I didn’t even get an answer, scoff or tut from her? Yet Sunday’s figures were marvellous?

I got on the computer and got myself in a double mess at the same time, more or less. First, the photo reader was toying with me, but I kept all calm and went through the usual routine to try and get it working again. I’m so proud of myself; for making and keeping a list of what I tried last time, and I kept it handy in the left-hand drawer!
As I was working my way through the actions to try… I realised that I must have scratched at the chin, and the blood was flowing again. Nothing like badly, just little streaks, but it took me ages and about ten sheets of kitchen towel and £3 worth of Brut to get it to stop! I know this is impossible, but I thought I heard  laughing; hehe!

The morning Carer arrived, it was No-Yawning-Richard. He looked a lot better in himself today. I think it’s because it is his first day back after his break in shifts.
He noticed the bloody tissues in the waste bucket. I informed the lad of the hot water being off for three days. Richard got onto the phone and reported Nottingham City Homes Maintenance of the problem without messing about. Told me they would be coming sometime today. Bless him. None of the other carers does that for me. So glad I gave him an extra big bag of nibbles and drinks now! He looked at the blood pressure,
He didn’t do a wristlet alarm battery check, but last week if I recall, he did it on a Wednesday. He’ll not forget to.
He’s a good lad, and seeing him more like himself was a pleasure.

After I’d bade Richard farewell and all the best, I returned to the computer.
But not for long. Carol rang; she wanted to do the laundry. Lovely! The poor gal has been covering for Esther. Who decided to stay two more weeks on her holiday in South Africa, leaving poor Carol in a quandary. He thought she was away for three weeks, and she made plans of her own. Now she is struggling to get the washing done for everyone. Bless her. 

Then, a memory blank fell over me. No more notes on the memory pad. I had to check on WordPress to see if I’d finished and sent off the Sunday post. Luckily I had!
I think I lost about four or five hours. Not sure if any plumber had called?

Sort of came back to mock-life, and I was working on words for the Ode. So I carried on.
I went to make a brew and found a cold pored mug of tea next to the kettle. I wonder when I made that? No milk it, stone cold! Also, a packet of BBQ rice was on the counter, and the oven was on… nothing in it!
I got on and started this blog so late it was well into the afternoon; in fact, it was almost evening! Kicked off, and I’m nearly out of Peptac now. Not that it is any good, just better than nothing.

Jodie arrived. Again she came in without pressing the chime and came right up behind me as I was concentrating on the computer. She’ll give me a heart attack one day! I asked if Jodie could press the button before coming in (again). But all it got was a smile! Hehe! Still, She’s not a bad gal. I remembered the chocolate mints I’d been meaning to give her since last Friday. Got the medications given to me, and she was soon off.

Aha, the intercom lit up. Twas, the plumber from Nottingham City Homes Maintenance. He looked around and told me the additional switch in the airing cupboard had been turned off. Probably the Friday plumber who solved the leaking tap turned it off for some reason? Cause I’ve had no hot water since Saturday? He assured me that it would start getting hot after ten PM. GrrreatI Gave him a choice of thank you treats, and off he went! 

I carried on with the blogging. At about half-passed ten, I checked the hot water situation. Still cold. I must be patient. I got the roast veg risotto in the oven and will add the microwave BBQ-flavoured rice later. Then when both are ready, put them in a dish and add some vegan BBQ sauce.
After eating it, I’ll test the hot water again. Please be working!

Got the nosh sorted out.
As planned, the BBQ-flavoured Ben’s rice and roast vegetable risotto. Some mini-tomatoes.
A diddly pot of lemon mousse for afters.
This was the meal of the year up to now! Fantastic flavour! Taste: 9.3/10!

Went to check on the hot water. It was still only lukewarm! .
How disappointing! I think I may have sworn a little under my breath in frustration.