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SATURDAY 8th AUGUST
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An even worse day today, for memory.
Notes virtually unreadable. Made a lot of them as well; I deciphered a few bits. Not a lot, I admit. I’ve got to stop doing this. I cannot understand why this new affliction has come on so quickly, as well. Three days now.
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Porcelain Throne a Constipation Conrad style.
Carer: Oxycodone taken. Arthritis in neck, far worse.
Phorpained shoulder, neck and knees.
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Carer Ahmed: Said he would arrange a takeaway meal for me from the Willow House. Then found they will not enter our flats; we have to fetch food from the lobby door. I thanked him, but gave up on the idea. Ahmed said he could collect it on his way in. Smashing!
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I called Jenny. She offered to get the British Gas non-showing of electricians on four occasions, on Monday, bless her cotton socks.
The next page was total rubbish; I could hardly make of a handful of words. Eyesight is the problem, I think, the Cararact? Don’t know.
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Ahmed returned, and I realised he meant another day. The Willow was closed. Jenny 🧑🏼❤️🧑 said she could go down to fetch me the meal. So kind. But, of course, it did not come. I had to have a meal of bread, tomatoes and crisps. Just too tired to make anything.
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SUNDAY 9th AUGUST
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Up unwillingly just before six. After an even more regularly jumping-awake-all-night session was enjoyed. When I did eventually give up trying to get any worthwhile sleep, and gingerly, slowly, very slowly, I bent down to take off 
the oddly well-filled Catheter night pouch, the need for the Porcelain Throne developed.
Making the hobble to the wet room, I had so many bodily pains, I didn’t know which was the worst.
So many to choose from this morning; Arthrits in the neck and right shoulder was noticed first. Then, the bruised coccyx as soon as I sat on the loo, knocking my injured left arm wound. Constipation ruled this session. I spent ages urging, pushing and could feel the blood coming from my haemorrhoids.
When finally getting up from the porcelain, I grabbed then dropped the new toilet roll. I don’t think I need to tell you what it fell in, do I?
I cautiously bent down holding the grab bar, and gave myself one heck of a toe-stubbing! Right on the longest-
nailed toe, the big one! I realised that my stomach, just emptied, was swelling up almost visibly! Naturally this pain and cock-uppery was taken with a smile. Ahem!
Then I cleaned up, and limped into the kitchen, to make up a 2-litre spring water bottle to keep the Catheter happy.
The Carer arrived later, taking a photo and commenting on my expanded middriff. The feet and toes were a bother all day. I can’t wear slippers of shoes. I may manage to bear the slippers on, if I get someone to help, and cut a knick in them? Of course I’ve not had the Catheter leak on me for several days, so I might risk cutting them, so I can wear them for the hospital visit on… on, erm… just checked on the calendar, this Wednesday. I’ll get it in the neck for not taking a 
Carer, but can’t afford to. My shoes are simply too painful to wear; no wonder the toe-stubbs hurt so much. And both legs have gone really thin again? Chicken legs!
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Carer Ahram came while I was working on the first part of this blog. Barrier creamed the belly mould, underarms and Phorpain gelled shoulders, underarms, man-breasts and neck for me. Heeven spees mopped the kitchenette floor. This lad only needs asking once.
He remembers, and is a nice, gentle bloke.
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Ahmed: Surprisingly, on his teatime call, when I asked him to change the Catheter pouch for me, he didn’t do it. But did give my feet a wash and dry, putting on athlete’s foot powder afterwards, and issued the medication, followed by a full safety check of the flat.
The feet are now feeling a little less painful.
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Having very little fresh food left, I’ve made an order on Iceland for Tuesday or Wednesday. I investigated what tinned food I can pick from. (Five out of date found).
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I was so worn out, mentally and possibly physically, that I did not eat the prepared meal. I’ll have it tomorrow, earlier if things work out, before the fading and tiring-out dawns on me, and Arthur Itis and Shaking Shoulder Shirley kick off. These two and Colin Cramps are virtually guaranteed around 20:00hrs.
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man-breasts and chest. Not a pretty sight. What had happened, I had no foggiest notion of. I’ll take a closer look when I get a wash & shave later on in the day.
Caught my arm wound against the edge.
Hoovered the mini-hallway.
Found the photo of how the new hooked Catheter looked the following morning. The array pad, which I was told not to take off, fell off the following morning.
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Good Morning. Good morning? Well, it wasn’t at 06:25hrs when I stirred back into fau-life so reluctantly. I eased the painful sacral region, my coccyx, from the bed; ARRGH! Unbelievable, the nocturnal Catheter, the new ones of a different design, had leaked for the third day on the trot! Partly my own fault, for putting it on without thinking. And some new original ones had been delivered, arrived last night. I could have used them. The self-lambasting started, frustration flowed, bad language, really bad. A flipping good job they can’t hear me in the other flats. (I do hope not) I suffered a fit of pique, I suppose a sort of temper-tantrum. Directed at myself. I’m not proud of it.
I stubbed my gigantic long-nailed and 
more than a few times. 
But I’d calmed down a bit by then… well, just accepted the situation I now find myself in. Good luck is a mystery to me. Getting 
Smashing, Carer Ejaz did the one call. Said he was not doing any more today. Not sure of later on in the week. Humph! Love the lad.
My one visit to the Porcelain Throne took ages to start the evacuation moving. It was hard work, even after they had started. Four thick nuclear submarine-shaped torpedoes slowly escaped, but the really surprising thing was the colours. The first two, which I thought was all that was coming, were coloured deep red and light brown. About to wipe and clean my bottom, the second two started; they were like concrete and thicker. I could feel the blood trickling from the haemorrhoids, and the next ones were far easier to pass, and were deep red, both with deep yellow turd ends. A different shade and texture every time I use the Throne. Hehehe!
Wonderful yalking-to-clouds again today.
I took the above two to try and catch what I thought looked like a beast head, maybe a fish. See it?
This snap reminded me of Mr Trump.
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I fell asleep eating it, while watching TV!
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BLOOD WORK.
it. It is now Tuesday morning, and I’m only just starting to update this blog. I’ll see what I can get from my notepad. Fingers crossed. Self-Note: I must write larger letters!
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04:00hrs, I woke up with a very painful coccyx. Much worse than just after I hit it on the armchair on a Whoopsiedangleplop Accifauxpas, yesterday.
The sun came out; temperature got up to 29°c, later.
Core-Blooming-Blimey! Phooey!
The late sky clouds…
I swear they spoke to me…
Full of awesome beauty,
Fearing mankinds complacency!
Writing too small, you see
Beetroot, Stilton cheese, tomatoes,
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Whoops, missed these last night.
BP Check results. When the Carer left, I called 111 to ask advice on these high readings. According to the list the nurse made me, so high should have been a 999 call.
Early view
Feet with the longest toenails ever
Bit of fat around the ankles.
Potatoes, Curlies & Stilton, with a mini pork pie.
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, has not visited for ages.
acidy tastes in my throat, so no seizures had. 
to the recliner to record the reading. You’ll notice in the photo above that the urine in it was bright and orangy. Minutes later as urine began to flow… Scarily, it was mostly blood!
I got a giant potato in the crock-out while waiting, and cleaned up a bit, and did the teggies. When I got back to the room, I noticed the urine was now much lighter and much less bloody. Another flipping mystery! But the joy of not having to go to the A&E briefly visited me. Great!
Checked the overcooked potato in the crockpot. 
I went onto the balcony; the heat hit me when I opened the door to take some cloud and sky shots. No signs of rain amongst them today.
yellow and brown out there.
The end of the car park, which usually had wet mud slides from the Woodthorpe Park behind us, looked bone-dry. The lawn bit is now 80% destroyed. Sad! I imagine the wildfires may spread to more areas when this cooler spell returns to hot weather. 
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Newest outbreak: An area of about 600m by 200m (1,968ft by 656ft) was alight in Abbot’s Wood
: As I blurbed back into faux-life. To the sound and sensation of what felt like a bubbling evacuation doing its best to escape. Although this was a semi-panic moment, I recognised the foul acidic after-seizure tasting reflux on its way up through my throat, mouth and nasals. Meaning my balance was not so good, but I used all speed available to get up and hasten to the wet room. Before I’d left the room, I realised that the evacuation was gaining impetus, and an aroma, if that’s the word, escaped and permeated the entire flat. Most fortunately, the WC door was only 
about five paces from where I stood. Which equates to about ten of my shuffles. 
I had to get a dressing gown on quickly, to get down to let him in. But, no, by the time I got to the lift, the driver was getting out-of-it. A sociable chap
There’s a moral here. Somewhere?
I got the food away, and hoovered the flat. Then I emptied all the waste bins into one big one. In what turned into a vain hope, that the Carer would trip over it and take it to the waste disposal tunnel. Hahaha! 
♬ Oh, Susana ♬ chimed from the doorbell; in walked a Carer. Not even noticing the waste bag. Med’s issued.
glare! When we arrived at the store, he’d mellowed and took an interest and helped me get a selection of foods. We got some Soda water, Hungarian. Couldn’t find the French cheese I got last week, but he chose one for me from the other blue-veined cheeses. We investigated their wonderful deli-meats counter; they had none of the pork I wanted, so the Carer took me to the prepacked meats and found some smoked belly pork that tickled my fancy. The veg they had was not fresh, but I got a carrot and a bag of potatoes, the best of a bad batch, with help from the Carer. I also got a mini-sized thick-coated lemon madeira cake, well, two of them. One left now.
I added some carrot, sliced very thin so it would cook quicker. After all that, I cut up spuds thin again. Cut some more yellow tomatoes, onion, water chestnuts, sweetcorn, chestnut mushrooms, left on a low light.
, and my eyes were worse than ever. (Cataract). I have to keep trying on and changing to a pair that might be easier.
The vegetable stew/soup was served up; not a lot. Much of it seemed to have gone and evaporated? What did I do wrong in the cooking process? No idea! However, it tasted rather good. Taste Rating: 8.8/10.
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06:10hrs: As I stirred this morning, EQ-Inchy was warning me that I would regret getting up today.
Nine hours later now, and still no evacuation. Mind you. I did eat all of the meal and a half that I ate just before getting settled. I’ve put the photo on again.
bags en route. As I finished collecting the tea bags with the pickerupper, to be sorted and save the unbroken ones to use again, the landline chirrupped.
Higher due to Matron visiting,
Soup & last of the sourdough bread,
Didn’t even get a peep-in today.
Isle Of Man…
Isle Of Man, second one
Isle Of Man…,
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My last photographic adventure,
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sadly shrinking minuscule, battered mini-pinkie… The embarrassment, frustrations, and a mega-depression to cope with…
Sourdough breag, bacon, fresh peas,
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