Inchcock Today: Cock-Ups Supreme! Sat 27th Mar 22

Due to the cock-ups – mishaps, Failing to change the clocks, Whoopsiedangleplops, Accifauxpa and two tumbles; This may be a little shorter, less detailed than I would have liked. On the other hand, I might stay up late and do better… I did! Sorry.

05:30hrs (Well, I thought it was at the time): I stirred back into a pretend-life after a terrible night of shooting awakes. Yes, I’d forgotten to retake the Hemp capsule last night!

However, I wasn’t in bad nick after working out the time (Wrongly at it happens then), rose up, caught my balance, grabbed Metal Mickey, and meandered slowly into the kitchenette to put the kettle on. Not easy for me nowadays, with foolishly choosing which one to use does not come easily for me. I decided not to make one yet and get the ablutionalisationing done instead. But needs meant a slight alteration of plans…

Well, it went pretty well! An excellent start to the days’ activities. There is no bleeding, not too much-forcing things to kick-off moving, and minimal pain. It was one of the easiest evacuations for a while. Just a little Dizzy Dennis visit as I was rising from the Throne. Fetched the togs and towel into the wet room and stripped ready for a stand-up wash, shave, teggies, etc. It was too early to use the shower yet, for fear of disturbing other tenants with the noise of the shower unit.

Oh, the ankles were looking a little weather-beaten on both legs. Well, they would be on the legs, I suppose… Hahaha! Fool! The colouring of the tootsies changed from undressing, showering and putting the socks on. (See photos on the left)

This morning, cleaning the teeth was not easy due to the broken tooth hurting when the brush touched around the molar area. I gave them a lighter cleaning. Still, it’s been worse. Then on to the danger zone, the shaving! I lathered up well, checked the blades were still sharp and started…

It may surprise you, it did me… not a single cut! Got the body scrubbing done without anything untoward occurring and then washed the delicate areas.

Bit of bad news here, Little Inchies Fungal Lesion had been bleeding, so a painful experience had to be endured. This month, the Daktacort ointment had been swapped for a new one on the prescriptions. So, never having used this brand before, I gritted my teeth and agonisingly (Phimosis) made room for the ointment to be smoothed into the wound…

Grrreat! Despite things going so well! There was no stinging at all from the lotion, but it took much longer than usual for the bleeding to stop, so no Smug-Mode yet.

I had the usual struggle to get the socks on, but I was determined not to use Sock-Glide-Glenda! I thought, well, the Carer will be here shortly.

So, I went on the balcony and took a photo of the end car park, curious to see how the red van man had parked… Blimey, another red vehicle, had parked in red-van mans’ usual illegal parking space on the chevrons.

Red van man had parked legally and correctly… that’s the first time in four months I’ve seen this; I felt pretty honoured. Hehehe! I think the white vehicle at the far end has been there for a long time now?

Carer Chaymae arrived. We greeted each other, and she got the medications sorted and put them in my hand…

Oh, flippin’ ‘eck! The bottle dropped when Peripheral Pete gave me a shaking, straight down spraying water all over me, my socks and trousers onto the floor; Trying to catch the bottle,  I fell knocking over the waste bin and clunked Cathy Cartilages knee as I hit the deck! Carer Chaymae got me back on my feet and picked up the now almost empty from a full water bottle, Tsk! The gal departed with a treat in thanks from me.

On to the computer… and the first of up till now… three Liberty-Global Virgin Media Internet failures!

Liberty-Global boss Mike Fries strikes again!

Faffling about getting nowhere with the Liberty-Global crap, net going down repeatedly, I somehow completed yesterday’s blog and sent it off.

I gave up and went to get a mug of Glengettie… What a pillock! I noticed the things on the side I’d put there to make Josie’s meal with… Worse, the watch told me it was 13:15hrs! I was ashamed at failing to get her meal to her on time for the first time ever! I went to her flat but could get no response to ringing the chimers… embarrassed, frustrated and self-loathing was brewing up.

It didn’t help to listen to the bang-bang-away Herbert while I was tensed up.

I called at Josies’ again, and she answered this time, what a revelation this was to me, Humph! I mumbled an apology, and I explained my idiocy in forgetting, and she was very calm about it and asked: “Did you forget to put your clock forwards?” This made me feel a bigger plonker than I already felt! I’d forgotten about the clock changing again this year, fell arse over tit, lost my reading glasses, the internet was crashing all the time, I could feel the blood coming from Little Inchies Lesion! I was not feeling too proud of myself at all!

Panicking, I hastened to get Josies’ meal prepped and served.

I did not want to spoil it by rushing too much, though, so it was about an hour before it was served up and ready for delivery.

I delivered it to her, she said, “It’s too much! You have me looking like Betty Bunter!” Bless her, she says that nearly every week. 💕

Now, I need to unwind… ah, an odd choice of words that. But it reminded me I had to change the three watches, put them forward an hour. Crap, lost another hour! Hehehe!

I took three photos from the kitchenette window of the rather beautiful looking clouds in the sky.

Then set about making a snack; I don’t feel like creating a proper meal. Summat friendly and easy will do me fine, now let’s look at what’s available… Haddock fish cakes, fishcake with pea topping, and the crispy chips will do me. Yes, the last of the chips and some fishcakes will do nicely. Especially as they all need the same time cooking.

Fish tea prepped and served. And I tucked into it with a relish, and I gobbled up the lot of it. Slowly, to get satisfaction from the delightful taste. Heap flavourful! A rating of 804/10, given.

The evening Carer called and got me sorted, just starting her shift, poor thing.

The darkness dawned as I was washing the pots, and I managed to get a shot of the sun setting, which only lasted for about three minutes? I was beginning to feel a little cheerier when…

While listening to the tap-tapping coming from above as I went to put the dishes into the wall cupboard, I had a first-ever for me, incident, event.

I know I was feeling tired, but I still cannot work out how I managed to do this…  – I put the stick down on my foot, not the floor? Automatically, as a reaction, I pulled the foot away, sent the stick (Not Metal Mickey, I was using Wooden Walter at the time), flying and giving myself a decent toe-stubbing at the same time on the cupboard corner beneath the sink. Which made me think…

Have I always been so unlucky? Yes, I think…
I recalled one-day playing solo tiddlywinks,
I got a splinter that turned septic in a blink!
Turned black and didn’t half pen and ink!

Double-pneumonia at three, blood in the pee…
Can’t remember it, but later Dad told me…
Got a part acting in the Chapel matinee,
I knocked over a candle, fire, folks did flee!
I didn’t go again; me and the Vicar did agree!

We went to Skegness, by the sea…
Go-Karting available, for the first time, you see…
Only one was tipped over… of course, by me!
Life even then was not trouble-free…
Ever since, I’ve Whoopsiedangleplopped consistently,

I’m proud to say, now in my decrepity…
Not many folks lived life so discordantly,
I’ve produced constant defeats and failures diligently…
I can expect daily doses of foul-ups, errors & calamity!
No signs of things getting better – disquietingly…

Keep Safe and, above all, Smiling!

Inchcock Today: Diary with Odes

I’d like to start with my family, friends and flatmates here at Woodthorpe Court, in Sherwood, Nottingham

Roger Rabbit, waving to Lisa & Bill ♥

Their Mother & Father are my cyber-buddies, HRH Lisa, Billum and Alan, of Fort Thomas in the US of A. Lovely Gift; A smashing clan who sent them to me out of the blue, and I have a natter with them every morning! I made a family portrait this morning…


Inchcock Today

Whoops I woke up with a whopping great jump and jerk. It was of such magnitude it moved my body mass a few inches towards the edge of the second-hand, £300, c1968, overwhelmingly-sickeningly beige coloured, tatty, uncomfortable, wobbly-recliner. A few more inches would have had me on the carpet, cursing and nursing Harold’s Haemorrhoids! Hehehe!

Of course, that was the end of any sleeping, so I lay a few seconds to work out what day and time it was and any actions or activities required… But here was the watch? No longer on my wrist?

I soon found out what I’d done with it – fourteen hours later, I found it on the floor, behind the £300, second-hand bought, c1968, nauseously beige-coloured, not-working, rusty, rickety, difficile, crumb-covered tatty recliner.

During the ablutionalisationing, I realised I had not got my watch on. “Ah, well,” I thought, “It’ll be on the ottoman!” Finished off and made a brew of Glengettie. But…

Refilling the kettle, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley kicked off. Talk about bad timing! Harrumph! The water went all over the previously washed and dried cutlery and crockery, down the front cabinet of the sink and down my trousers, socks and slippers, and onto the kitchen floor…

It took me ages to get it sorted and dressed again. I seem to be doing this a lot more often lately. Dementia Doreen? SSS? Peripheral Pete? Cataract Kathleen? Haha! Who knows which will get the blame.

Made a fresh mug of tea and got on the computer, rather pleased to be making an early start on the blog. Ha!

I had to do other jobs and kept nipping back to see if Liberty-Global, the company with a Revenue of: 12.98 billion USD (2021), who bought out Virgin Media Internet, are even worse than the scumball BT internet was… Not that Herr Fries is bothered. Don’t I pick them!

Did the health checks, and the internet was back on. But to for long, ten minutes maybe…

Pee’d off with this already! The Iceland delivery arrived. They had substitutes plain sausages again for the unavailable microwave ones! That’s the fourth time this year, I’ve sent them back each time, but they keep subbing them.

The strawberries and tomatoes were from Morocco. The strawberries had some slime on a few, which I threw away. The mini-cherry tomatoes were substituted for vine ones and tested for taste… Bloody Hell! I’ve tasted a tomato so foul and bitter in my life! Eurgh! They hadn’t any brown cobs in stock either! All in all, a bad do! I put the crap away.

Tried the computer again. It had come back on at last. For around a half-hour, then…

Well, obviously not that much… Git!

My morning Carer called and sorted me out. It was her first call. She came in without ringing the door chime and gave me a nervous tick! Even if she shouts out when she walks in, I can’t hear her with my hearing. Still, I wasn’t using the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) when she came in. Hehehe!

Aha! The internet came back on… Thank you, Mr Fries. Got the post finished and sent off. Facebooking, and it happened again:

Liberty-Global has disassociated itself with Virgin Media; they do not mention that they own and fail to run it, hoping that Richard Branson will get the blame, I think?

One more effort once it came back on. Most anger-making and revenge prompting! But this time, I had to close everything down and off and reboot the box and computer.

I’ll have to give up on this; Liberty-Global Virgin Media Internet has gone off again! My language is crude at the moment. I am willing and wishing that Fries drops dead immediately. It won’t matter to me cause he can’t run the service anyway. He’s a number-cruncher, accountant, actuary, bean-counter, bookkeeper, calculator, con-man. His use of smoke and mirrors, off-shore account movements etc., are his strengths. A wanker of a banker! Indeed, he has no people-care or customer sensitivity.

I’ve lost all my heart in blogging now. I’ll get something to eat, give up until morning, and then try again to use LIBERTY-GLOBAL Virgin Media Internet. But I’m not confident… well, I am in a way – I feel sure that Fries will let things get worse… there’ll be a financial fiddle of some sort involved in the situation, I’m sure. But he is obviously trying to destroy a company, his company, that paid around $2.4 billion to buy out… why? Back-handers? Mafia? Money Shuffling & Juggling? Banking fiddle? You scratch mine – I’ll scratch yours?

Bribery and manipulation? Or just money-making savviness via greedy, devious, underhand means? Just a thought! Why is he shoving all the much-travelled money of Liberty-Global into telecom and internet companies the world over? When he obviously is incapable of providing a reliable service? A money-predatory and manipulative Con-Man supreme!

Today’s end car park inspection photograph.

Carer Valerie arrived. Just after I’d realised that I had no hot water from the taps (faucets). She was kind enough to find and write ht telephone number of the Nottingham City Homes Repairs in large letters so I could read it. I was a little nervous to ring yet if I had made a cock-up leaving a tap running or something. (The hot water was back on in the morning, Phew!) Off went Valerie taking the bags o the waste for me on her way. Thank you!

Herbert was giving it some hammer tonight; I wonder what he’s making this time. I found a picture that I’d taken last week, possibly from Thursday when I visited the foot lady at the hair salon appointment farce.

Washed and changed into the night attire, and I made up a bottle of spring water and lime juice. I did a couple for Carer Richard, who may come on Monday, and stored them in the fridge, so they will be nice and cold for him.

Hot much of a sunset again tonight, but still beautiful to me, even with the muted hue and colours.

I used the Canon camera. As for some reason, the Fuji developed a thick white line down the centre of the screen, and I could not remove it? Turned it off and then back on, but no luck; still there?

As I got down on the recliner to watch some TV, I took this snap of my legs. Not a pretty sight!

The fattiness in both legs was returning, or it might be water-retention, but I think not. I wish I knew why I felt that, but I cannot remember why now, Tsk! (Sunday morning)

Cartilage Cathy on the right and Arthur Itis on the left knee, can you see? The veins are shallower tonight, and the hairs have suddenly turned grey? The funny side of this shot was the feet not showing. Hahaha!

An Ode to an ‘Orrible Day

My signing with Virgin Media was happenstantial,
The computer… to be precise, Liberty-Global,
Ran by Mike Fries, money-mad and ignoble!
Who bought out Virgin Media, most controversial,
Liberty-Global is crap; blame is cunningly deflectable…
They keep shtum about owning Virgin Media – detestable!
So Richard Branson gets the blame, a sort of Guilt-Burial!
My hatred for Mike Fries is substantial…
Well, his hatred of customers is evidential…
His lousy internet seems to him inconsequential,
He still gets paid a fortune, and management are reverential?
The sickening signs of fiddling figures are torrential!
Although my evidence is only circumstantial…
And comes from a customer who is uninfluential,
Liberty-Global’s ever failing service makes me demential!

Morning all!

Inchcock Today: Belated Photographicalisations – Diary

Belated Photographicalisations INCHCOCKs DIARY

I’m afraid with the mess I made of the files when trying to master the card-reader problem, and then the CorelDraw graphics disaster… that’s a mild word for it! It was no less than a miracle how I managed to get the photos uploaded. Then the reader kept conking out midway through – and the unloaded SD pictures had to be searched for again… Then the card-reader conked out again all together! It’s taken me a lifetime to get them sorted… well, there are more unsorted now! Glagnangles!

Well, he’s been tap-tapping and knocking to keep me company once again, on and off all day! But he can’t help being well-off and all the management loving him so. In fact, as ignorant, unneighbourly, superior-natured, snotty, unresponsive, unfriendly, standoffish, snot-bags go, he’s one of the bestest.

I did have the pleasure of Carer Cheeky Charley calling this morning. So good to have a little natter and laugh. Her having to leave put me back in the dumps, but thankful for her cheeriness! ♥

I’ve not much idea which of the two days I’d no working SD reader photos were taken, but I’ve hazarded my best guess. Tried to get them in the order they were taken… I hope. Here we go…

A morning shot here, Mayhaps Wednesday. (Or, Thursday, or else Friday?) Or not. Got the splinter out! I seem to recollect my knocking over the towel holder and breaking it when I took this shot.

I took the Boot’s BP sphygmomanometerisationing, in the kitchenette, near the microwave machine. Why? Tsk! I haven’t got the foggiest; I can’t even remember taking it.

Still, the 149 Sys reading came out okayish. DIA 70, Pulse at 91. The body temperature was not such a good result, though! Even lower this time, the minimum being 35°c, it was a little low at 33.7°c.

I’m assuming the picture of the Dettol disinfectant would have had something to do with Little Inchies Fungal Lesion bleeding and my need to wash the trews using it?

Aha! I can remember taking this one! I used Carer Richard’s so kindly donated camera. The batteries ran out, but I had some in stock and changed them, got a decent shot? Something bugs me that I may have already put this on a blog? Ah, Thursday this one, when I got the Ocado order delivered, by a helpful bloke who took the bags through to the kitchen, bless his cotton socks. Some great nosh arrived! Marmite cobs, fresh pod peas, potato cheese and leek pies. (Had an Accifauxpa with them, I’ll try to remember to tell you of the farce later). 

A tasty treat of the day, Polish sourdough bread, cheese twists, as well. Oh, and the best cakes I’ve ever had in my life, and I’m gerrin’ on a bit now yer know, Hehehe! Four cream and strawberry jam tartlets… Eat them all? Me? Ahem! Erm… Yes! Got some strawberries as well; going out for treats, they will be. Got the stuff stored away.

I opened a Chukka cheese, leek and onion pie… no, that’s not right, erm… I was close. It was a potato, cheese and leek pie, and as I was putting it back in the fridge having removed the cardboard… Ailment number eight; Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, ensured that I dropped the pie on the floor. Swiftly followed up by Peripheral Neuropathy Pete giving me one of his rare, but troubling, drop-something and flail-about, involuntary right-leg Neuropathic Schuhplattler Dances  (As cyber-mate Tim, in New Mexico has Christened them, Hahaha  To round off the farce, I trod on the Chukka pie!

Hence, I had to clean and mop the kitchenette floor yet again. For the third time this week. Each time it was caused primarily by one or more of the ailments. With all the things going wrong lately, I surprised myself with how I got on with the job; I even found myself singing out loud?

Erm,  Thurs… no, Fridays Health Checks  I think  Either one, the SYS and DIA were back up high again; However, the Pulse was down a bit. You can’t win ’em all.

Whoops The body temperature was about the same, too low  I’d try the in-the-ear one, but I can’t work out how to get the actual temperature up on display. Fair enough, there are buttons on it to confuse me… Haha!

I think I’ve made a cock-up on this one; I can’t remember eating this at all. So, possibly, Dementia Doreen is having fun with me, or I saved an old photo, not a new one… that is, of course, unless the computer card reader ate the new one?

Ah, this was Thursdays anyway, I reckon, Cause there is sourdough bread in the picture. See that, I worked that out despite Dementia Doreen. Har-har  Yes, I had two Heinz veggie burgers  Texan style. They were delicious  Yellow tomatoes, podded peas and BBQ sauce on the burger sandwiches.

Then… I demolished all four of Marks & Spencer cream and strawberry jam tarts!! Next time, I’ll be hard pushed not to order any more from Ocado – they were out of this world!

Fridays morning  It took me hours to get the blog done with the graphic of Lisa and Bill in their laboratory.

Getting photos onto the system was still a no-no, no-go!

Oh, bloody woe is me! That damned Shuddering Shoulder Shirley is having a ball with me this week. Her timing is just immaculate. I was just stirring the freshly made mug of Glengettie when she gave just one almighty jerk that resulted in tea and broken pottery on the kitchen floor once more that needed to be cleared, cleaned and mopped again!

I can’t take much hassle  Hehehe. There was no singing to myself this time around!

I decided to make a can of ready-made chilli, a hot one it says on the label. Do a few chips in the oven and dunk the Sourdough bread. I wonder if I can get the photograph of the meal onto the computer. What are the odds, Humph!

Saturday morning: Well, Gotten Himmel  The SD card worked first time this morning. This has not been the case for over fifteen days!

The can of strong Chilli-con-carne and garden peas was slowly warmed through. Then I added some grated leeks and some more red beans, Liquid smoke, then the BBQ sauce, all the time stirring it, on a low light, turning up the heat for the last few minutes. The BBQ chips done in the oven were added when I served it up. Some Polish sourdough bread and a Lemon & Lime yoghourt pot rounded off the meal.

Hehe! Delicious! Flavour rating 8.8/10… nothing like being precise.

The evening carer arrived when I was eating it; she was a front door non-chime ringer – didn’t half make me jump when she got in the room  (Haha!)

Sleep was resistant tonight. I tried putting on the TV, but even that didn’t help me nod off. Then the dreaded Thought-Storms arrived… and stayed toying in my brain for hours on end!

I did manage to nod off eventually and stayed that way for four hours, before the traditional springing awake with a jump… needing a wee-wee  So, up I got.

Ode To These Two Days


Whoopsiedangleplops, Accifauxpas & affrays!
Bleeding, fears, worries, errors, mistakes always!
Thought Storms, more so than for days…
The mind was unable to sort out or appraise…

The odd bit of good fortune… that did amaze…
Dropsies, I could have had the kitchen ablaze,
Memory blanks, medications and delays…
Forgetting what I’m typing; off the thought strays!

Started recalling the past, all my yesterdays,
Leaving my emotions depressed, in a haze!
But, at least no walking into doorways!
Mind you, on a superb tasting meal, I did graze!

Morning all!

Inchcock Today: Belated Photos, Comments quips and an Ode or two

Goodeth Morningski!

A nosh from earlier in’t week…

Odd sunsetting photographs.

Van Parking Expert!

White Van man’s excellent Parking!
Within the white lines marking!
No exit-ingress blocking!
No chance of any grid-locking,
Straight as a die, amazing…!
Very RVM (red-van-man) irking!

Blood pressure reading was more controlled,
Sys 150, Dia 71… But the pulse at 90, high-fold?
I’ll check on the web… NHS say 90 is Gold!
So today, BP returns deserve to be extolled!

The body temperature was not so good…
34.4°c, not as high as it should…
Little Inchies fungal-lesion is losing blood!
But things may get better; yes, they should…
But of that, there’s little likelihood!

Blood-Taking Dressing Removed

I thought the drops of blood on the cotton wool had created a humorous face pattern. I took this snap of it. Hehehe! There is rarely any bleeding after the magnificent, caring Nurse Hristina comes to do the blood-taking job, bless her. 💖

This is something that I look forward to!

I’m Beginning to Master the Whistling Kettle!

This morning, I even heard it!

I’ve located the inside of the fill-level marking…
Changing to reading glasses first…
If I use a torch, so I can see the etching…
So underfill it, so I can quench my thirst,
Then it gets louder… the whistling!
Trapping the finger closing the lid is worst!

Tuesday Evenings Meal

.

A treat of healthy foods tickled many a tastebud!
Fishcakes and cheesy potato cakes went down a treat!
Smoked haddock in some, cheese too, t’was alreet!
Mushy pea topping in the cakes…
Fishless fish-sticks to complete…
But I didn’t have a pud!
The meal I ate and felt replete!

Changing the bag in the kitchen bin,
Gawd strewth… what was I seeing?
Argh! An Evil Ironclad boll weevil biting beetle?
Have they returned again – bringing their teeth so evil?

I went into a Sherlockian mode, sort of preautopsy…
I got the beast out of the bin, then had a wee-wee…
So glad it was all black, due to my achromatopsy,
It was a biting boll weevil – Whoopsiedangleplopski
Seeing just the one, enough to bring on catalepsy!
A good search around, I could see no more – Whoopee!

Evening Sunset Today

The sky went from grey to this colour within a couple of minutes.

But stayed that hue for only ten minutes?

Finally, a further tribute…

Puckin Chairing a Meeting

This photo really scares me! They’re his advisors too!

Inchcocks first solo visit to the Slab Square: In 1955

Inchcock then & now Haha!

Despite the poverty, I was at my happiest…
In my younger years, and almost positive!
Full of vigour and at my determinest…
I set out one Sunday to slab Square, looking my nattiest!
First time alone on a trolleybus, at my swankiest!

43 Trolleybus in town

The bus ticket cost all of 3d,
Today that would be about ½ a new penny,
I wanted to get a Sunday paper, you see…
Take it to Dad; make him proud of me!
But the newsvendor asked, where’s your Daddy?
I didn’t realise he knew my Dad, Harry!
He told me to take myself home and hurry!
But he did give me a newspaper for Dad, for free!

West Bridgford (WBUDC) bus

So, I did, on a posh, pretty coloured WBUDC,
West Bridgford Urban District Council, you see?
We didn’t argue with adults back then, tactfully…
Agreeing with grown-ups, had desirability…
Cause of their clipping you around the earhole, ability!

I hastened home…

I hurried home, in hope of a visit from Auntie Kerry…
She liked to bath me, which always affected my psychoactivity,
I think she had some habits, mayhaps, eccentricity?
She scrubbed me up well, with dexterity, not dignity!
I always greeted her arrival with emotional glee!
Not understandingly, but happy… and expectantly…
Knowing (praying for) what she was about to do to me! ♥
I longed for her visits, and was her greatest devotee,
And to think that people said we were an odd family? Hehe!

Well, perhaps we were…

How things change… Hehehe!

Good Morning, all!

Sunset Thoughts In Odes

“Oy, Inchie…

“Wot?”

“Wot yer doin’ then?”

“Watchin’ the sunset!”

“Wot for? It ‘appens every night, yer burke?”

“I know it does, yer grumpy git! I photograph it most nights yer know…”

“I know that I am a part of yer ain’t I?”

“Then why ask me wot I’m doing then? You drive me to my homebrew, Ooh!”

“I dunno, just to piss you off, I suppose!”

“Sarcasm from you always flows…”

“Do you know, we’re talking in prose?”

“Go on then, let’s keep it up, see how it goes?

“The Carer will be here soon, let’s see who loses the odeing, you know?

“Just look at how the dying sun still glows..”

“I bet you’d get a better pattern as a Filipino?”

“I hear out there, they drink cappuccino?”.

“Do you like Pizzas from Domino?”

“What’s that got to do with the Ode, dumbo?

“Sod-all, you’ll soon be back on the Vino…”

“You’re in a barmy-mood? Why don’t you just go?

Cause I also want to see the sun’s dying glow!”

“I’m not having that; you a naturist? No, no, no!”

“That’s not nice, do yer want your blood to flow?”

“Ah, but you can’t hurt me physically, though!”

“Not my style, but I can send you loco!”

“Ha! I’m already bonkers; you’re too slow!”

“You are a saddo, fatso, and have no gusto!”

“Go on knob-end, tell me summat I didn’t know!”

“Well, the sun’s beginning to go…!

“I wish you would go; you damage my ego!”

“Why do you have to live on the 12th-floor in Council flats? Can’t you afford a bungalow?”

“Leave me alone. You’re always digging at me; you’re making my anger grow…”

“In the flat, it must be like the Alamo! Waiting for death, in agony, another coffin-seeking Bozo!”

“The Alamo? Well, my life seems to be connected like an imbroglio…”

That much, I understand and know…

“I don’t get out much, so?”

“With your luck, if you did, someone would stab you with a stiletto…”

“Or you stay-in, and old father time will soon say, time for you to go, cheerio!…”

“You being a defeatist would mumble, Righteo!”

“You may even ask him, is there time for one last bacon sarnie, with sourdough?”

“Have yer done? Taking the piss and having your fun?

“Aha! Pillock that didn’t rhyme. I’ve won again, I’ve won!

“Rollocks!”

Part of the Inchies Make Them Laugh-In Ode, Series

Odiously ‘Orrible Odes on Ageing

Inchcocks advice and tips, for whippersnappers who think they will live forever, in diabolical ode. You Won’t!

Be Prepared

It’s essential that you prepare, cause nobody else will care…
Unless you’re loaded, with plenty of cash to betroth, spare,
Have you spent it? Holidays, big car and you’ve safaried?
I’m just explaining how it will be for you, not to be morbid…
I don’t mind if my tips are not absorbed…
All a part of living is death, don’t be worried!

Oh, and there’s nothing to say that you should be hurried!
You may find that you could later, yourself bedrid…
You’ll need help if yer on yer own, and feeling dogeared,
Paying for Carers must not be feared…
New ailments will by now have reared…
You can expect this; it’s normal, not weird!

The family may call to help, your bank balance cleared,
Your reputation may diminish, become smeared…
Help might be harder to get; tell them you are disorientated…
You’ll make them a beneficiary, you’ll be genuflected!
They may make you a brew, say you’ve been neglected…
Then you may die of poisoning… they’ll be suspected!

If you own your own house, but not if it’s rented…
You’ll be treated well, as is to be expected…
The not seen for years crowd will be attracted…
Looking for the Will, but it won’t be protracted,
It’s essential to avoid them becoming malcontented…
Pick your times when to tell them you’re demented!

Them topping you, at all costs must be prevented,
Promise each one a little extra, don’t get resented!
Unless, of course, death will make you contented…
Tell them you’ve sorted their money, all consented…
But, remember who you’ve promised, you may get assaulted!
Or, at minimum, your face resculptured!

When the Doctor tells you, the end is anticipated…
You may wish they’d told you later, waited…
Unknown relatives calling will be prompted,
Is his name Keith, Tim, Richard or Ted?
Not that it matters, cause you could soon be dead!

Ailments Roster

Stroke, Cataracts Diabetes: To Be Added

In my young days, ailments that were lurking,
Were Polio, Double pneumonia, & getting a caning…
Not that I’m sorry, but of all, I was ailing…
We didn’t have to put up with too much burgling,
Sore throat, toothache? Meant saltwater gurgling,
We knew nowt about Cocaine or methamphetamine!

In my teens, there were very few ailments troubling,
Of course, romance took precedence; ah, romancing! ♥
I got into it, even went to the nightclub, dancing…
But I broke my leg one night, and I was only waltzing!
For Suzie, should I try dancing again? I was dithering…
But she left me when the Twist arrived, very belittling!

I met a gal from near Berlin… who really got me going!
Grizelda her name, big lass, solid-built and liked her gin…
But she had to go home; I was lonely again…
Oh, sorry, from the subject I am straying…
Not precisely an ailment, but I got shot while working…
Made redundant, unfair, and I wasn’t shirking!

Then the ailments started coming, flooding…
Duodenal ulcer, Arthur Itis, needed a new heart put in!
Reflux Roger, eyesight failing, and I lost my hearing…
Sadly, that was the end of motorcycling,
So I bought Robin Reliant, though it was exciting…
Sat in a car park, a lorry hit me, anger was igniting!

Then peripheral Neuropathy was diagnosed…
Got shot again, then made redundanted,
Life started backpedalling…
But you can learn from my failing!
It’s no point in wailing…
Life is never plain sailing!

When I had the stroke, then I started wailing,
Hospital four weeks, then a home for the ailing…
For five weeks, it was appalling!
Things got worse, they lost my washing…
Gave me no food one day; everyone else was noshing?
I don’t think I’ll ever again go abseiling?

Weeks later, the eyesight faded more, blurring?
Went to see the optician… revealing…
Cataracts and glaucoma in both eyes, they so sting…
Saccades in the right eye never heard of this thing…
The NHS said there is an average of 48-weeks waiting!
Nothing much-going right, or compensating…

Weeks later, I went virtually deaf, hardly any hearing…
In either lughole… both channels were wax-filling…
Since which, four times a day, the olive oil dropping in…
The left worse than the right, ‘Grumbling!’
Not hearing my doorbell tune ringing…
Not the telephone’s ding-a-ling; this’s frustrating!

I took a tumble in the shower, ablutionalisationing,
You’ll get to accept these; they are a part of being…
Doddery, not having yet mastered the walking stick.
Fears and worries will need camouflaging…
Oh, and shopkeepers will try over-charging…
Or more likely short-changing…

With the arrival of Vascular Dementia Doreen coming…
Means problems with organising and remembering…
Dizzy Dennis, Shaking-Shoulder-Shirley bothering…
Thought Storms, your brain will need defragging,
The kettles broke, and the toilet is not flushing…
Hopes for the future, you’ll find languishing!

Sock-Glide-Glenda

Sock-Glide-Glenda, to be used after ablutioning!
Very good for bodily parts mutilating…
It can be avoided by not going out, staying in…
But you’ll have to go out to get your medications and gin?
I can assure you, in Sock-Glide-Glenda executing…
You’ll be injured, cut, bruised or exsanguinating!

I solved this painful problem by hibernating…
In the flat, the brain stopped activating…
No perambulating or hobbling… boring!
Although Carers called, to do the medicating…
Some of them like a little chinwagging,
I look forward to the talking Carer’ visiting!

So, Whippersnappers, this you must be expecting…
Keep your wits about you, when Glendaring,
Germolene, plasters and Phorpain gel nearby waiting,
A blood blister, cut, or bruise can really sting!
Worse if you have a boil or carbuncle erupting!
These odes are just tips; I’m not instructing…
Just future problems for you, detecting…
Please don’t see this ode as floccinaucinihilipilificating!

Overview on Inchcocks’ Life

I’ve led a super-fun life; I’m not complaining,
Lived life to the full, wind, sun or raining…
I’ve had so much sex; it’s been disorientating!
Earnt a fortune – I don’t mean to be drum-beating,
I’ve had battles but can’t remember taking a beating…
I’d got through life with faith, honesty and collaborating,
Oh, there’s just one other thing…
This last verse was all me fibbing!

Part of the Inchies Make Them Laugh Ode Series

Local News Snippets – Part 12⅗ths

Local News Snippets

Whoever did this, is the lowest scumball,
With no morals, decency or pride at all!
Humanities decline is continual,
They are without care and principal…
Shamefully these crimes are not unusual…
Nor in London, Leeds, Manchester and Walsall,
Yet, no worse than many politicians in Whitehall!

What? She’s drunk a bottle of Baccardi!
Should have stuck with tea, safer, you see?
Or stuck to massaging just the man’s knee!
I wonder if she offered him an apology?
58-years old she acted rather adolescently,
Should have known better, putting it bluntly,
I think she really should have consulted me!

Cor blimey, an increase in cases, well blow me!
We are not yet from Covid, going to be free!
Caused by the citizens’ recent complacency…
Going back in shops without masks, crapulently!
And nightclubs, get-togethers, restaurants too!
But that’s just jealousy… things that I can’t do!

Well, these two scumbags will test the jurisprudence!
They are totally unaware, of the harm and despair…
Concerned on where their next fix comes hence!
The harm caused to innocent victims? They do not care!
They’ll ignore help offered of rejuvenescence…
Their next needle or drink, in the dustbin they share!
The young, old, weak are all targets – so be aware!

The poor things have sunken low with flatulence…
Are in need of help really, through their indigence…
They get the drug money, through grandiloquence…
But mostly muggings old folk, and belligerence!
Letting them of lightly, has proved its idempotence…
Satisfying me, of their existence, nature of feculence!

The poor bus driver, need a number-two, he decided…
So, off to the only one in town, he was riveted!
Closed down, vandalised since he last visited!
This left him nonplussed and he fidgetted…
Can a nasty-underpants accident be thwarted?
It frit him a few times when he farted…
The Council can be so cold-hearted!

Serious Comment from Inchcock
This scares me, now I’m in the early stages of Vascular Dementia, I’m getting nervous. After getting Peripheral Neuropathy, then having the stroke, the hospital had to send me to a ‘Home’ for three weeks, before I could be sent back to my flat. Some of the things I saw there and had to endure was frightening, and that Nottingham Council Home, had a good H&S rating! Eventually, I suppose it will have to come to this… it’ll be worse next time, with the Cataracts not being seen to, the Glaucoma and right eye Saccades will all have to be done after the Cataracts. Each Cataract could take, according to the NHS site up to 48 weeks waiting time, and I have both eyes to be treated! And cannot have another eye test and new spectacles until they have all been treated successfully. With Vascular Dementia Doreen getting a better grip on me slowly, I worry
!

Nice to see 3-years for his female accompanist,
19 years for Jake, the young scum murderist?
But let’s not get too happy and alarmist…
It’s not long enough for this adiaphorist,
Whoever gave this sentence, a good few years were missed!

A least they caught him, of that I am pleased…
He’ll likely be out in ten years, for that I am pissed!
A life term should be that… or is there summat I’ve missed?
Murderers’ sentences should be increased!

Far too early they are freed…
So many of them to kill again indeed!
No deterrent, no hardships to intercede!
They should be fed on carrots and swede…

If they behave… on grilled meat flies they can feed!
Do the killers no harm to be ravished…
Then they can have their toenails revarnished?
Get exercise from a velocipede…
Do their own washing, clean up after they’ve pee’d…

Well, well, another Nottingham Murder!
There are lots of murders for a Wearsider,
To some areas, it’s a matter of pride!
Like in Liverpool, London and Tynesider
Not in for a resident Togolander…
But far less than for a Thailander,
Sorry, I’ve started to meander…
Back to the Local murders, makes me shudder,
Stabbings and shootings, locally we are a titleholder,
More murders than anywhere in England… Per Capita!
Two, within a mile; I’m getting scarederer!

As a rule, all 3 Green Houses are usually missed,
I expect this, I’m not lucky if you get my grist…
From doing this game, I can’t resist…
This week’s record of hits each day, well if you insist…
0,0,1,0.1, yet hitting two in five days; I was impressed…
I’m feeling rather pleased and chuffed!

Inchcock Today: Mind meanderings…

MONDAY 7th MARCH 2022

Morning Thoughts In Ode

I woke; the lack of sleep was gruelling,
I lay feeling sorry for myself, the toothache humming,
The mind joined the body and woke, I was thinking…
Things needed to be done, and then backpedalling,
The Thought-Storms were brewing; Gauling!
I had to listen to them, worries fears: Appalling!
Then they morphed into unfathomable witwantoning…
Dementia Doreen helped with my forgetting…

Whatever came to mind was soon absquatulating…
Foolishly, I kept my much-needed wee-wee waiting
While my mind confused me with its bleating…
Thoughts intentions, contorting and contradicting,

Suddenly, a reason to rise arose,
Involuntary winds blew from below…
I think this may be the end of my constipating…
To the Porcelain Throne, I did go!

I hastily disentangled my fat mass of body from the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly-beige-coloured, not-working, rickety recliner, caught my balance, grabbed Metal-Mickey, and hastily hobbled to the wet room.

I got myself seated and waited for the action to start. I whistled a little, had ago at the crossword book, doing no good, so I gave that up. Sang a few part songs, Adam Faiths, and counter the cracks in the ceiling again 62; I’m sure there wasn’t that many last week? Slowly, grindingly, but it needed some help from me, the evacuation began… and boy, was it a long job! I swear I could see the steam coming up through my legs, long before things had completed!

However, there was only the tiniest bit of bleeding, the exiting pains died off quickly, not too much mess, and as for any funk, I couldn’t detect any. That may be due to the gross amount of ear wax I have on both earholes at the moment?

I thought, being as I was already in there, I’d get the ablutions done. No showering, of course; I didn’t want to bother anyone still asleep.

Things didn’t go as well as the last two days, but they were a rarity. ① I cut my nose doing the nasal clearing (Not bad at all). ② The eye drops applying, there were again more dropping down the chin and moustache than in the eyes! ③ I had a very minor short Neuropathic Leg Dance Routine when doing the teeth, which resulted in losing a little more blood from around the broken tooth. ④ Applying the shaving foam and Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley woke up; I dropped the spray can, and trying to catch it before it got to the floor, I stubbed my right big toe on the trolley wheel. This was a bit more painful and prompted me to say a naughty word! ⑤ I was ultra careful and weary when it came to the razors, and I only got one small nick under the chin (Or so I thought at the time). Finished off there and started to have an all-over body wash at the sink. When the flannel was retrieved from cleaning the neck and shoulders, the amount of blood on it surprised me.

I got a tissue and searched for the source of the leaking haemoglobin. I’m not sure how, but I’d managed to get a minor cut on the back of the neck? It was an easy search; I just dolloped some Brut on a paper towel and dabbed around until the pain told where the cut was. Hehehe! And Brut stopped the bleeding in minutes.

I then tended to the last of the medicationings. I got the Phorpain Gel rubbed into Cath Cartilage’s knee, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, and Arthur Itis’ knees. Then had another go at the ears with the syringe, dried off where I could, and dolloped a load of Olive Oil in each drum. I didn’t touch Little Inchies fungal lesion cause the lesion was a little sore; I’ll do him later on when I feel a bit braver.

Got the Health Checks done. SYS 146, DIA 68. Pulse 89, and Body Temperature 34.1°c. Good enough for me.

I was making a brew, and in walked Carer Richard. Nice to see him; he had left me till last again so we could have time for a natter, and did we have a chinwagging session? Yes, we did. Hehehe!

Our natterings were varied this morning and most enjoyed by this lad. This lad? Hehehe! Thanks, Richard! I was rather proud of remembering about the braces I’d told him I’d dig out for him.

Hello, he’s started off with clumps and tap-tappings again. I’d love to know what he’s making this time. But with him being a snot-bag, superior type, even if I do meet him, he’s pushed to grunt a greeting. But it’s mutual now; I hate him as well. I’m still inquisitive about his various noises, though. Later on, he made some clunk-thuds. But never for long, bless him.

Worked pm yesterdays blog finishing belatedly. Had a go at getting last night’s photos on, which, as you can see, I did eventually! Got it posted off to WordPress. Facebooking on TFZer and Winwood sites. Then onto WP Comments. That took a long time, but I do love doing them.

Whoops Before starting the WP reader reading, I scanned the readership and views for my blog. I found I’d had 4 views from Russia! Mr Puking? I mean Mr Putin, mayhaps? Tsk! This threw me out of kilt, and I forgot to go on the WP Reader.

I tried to upload this morning’s photos, but no luck. I checked the Amazon Tracker for the jammie-bottoms order. I reckon in about another two hours, or so, I’ll check again.

The blog started today. Amazon tracker is very close now.

I faffled about getting myself close to the intercom in case he arrived. I can’t hear the intercom at the moment; I’m even having trouble hearing the ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ door chime. Gawd, the eyes and ears are in a bad state now. I stood in the hallway to be close to the thing if it went off.

Which it did a few minutes later, yet I still struggled to hear it.

IT consisted of four pyjama bottoms come lounge pants, and two bobble hats that I thought were going to be a bit thicker and warmer than the others, not so sure now. The lounge pants have one looking nice and warm; the others look a lot thinner. What the ‘eck! Anyway, the chap put the parcel through the doorway for me.

I made a brew and took a snap of the sky from the kitchenette window. So beautiful! But I’m not expecting a gorgeous sunset later; it’s been too sunny all day; when this happens, the evening is a lot dourer for some reason.

Whoops I’ve not got around to reading the WP Reader yet. And I have to make an Iceland order for next week now. So I did! Well, I started, then the evening Carer arrived, name unknown or given came.

She seemed in a rush, though I bet she was busy. She gave me the meds in record time, and I thought and said, is this right? Three? Only one Warfarin? She went to look at the prescribed list and said yes! I pointed out that it is usually 1½  to 2½ that I have. She said no, that’s right, so fair enough. I thought, Dementia Doreen at me again. I thanked her, and she shot off, taking the black waste bag with her for me.

Whoops It still bothered me, so I checked on the listings.

It should have been 2 Warfarin tonight.

Damned good job. I checked on it! If not, I’d have had half the required dosage! Not Good at all! I can see now how one bad apple can spoil the barrel or even cripple the reputation of Meridian Health & Social Care. If Nottingham City Homes were to replace Meridian, all the suitable Carers would suffer, and that’s not fair. But there’s little chance of that happening, after all the many let-downs with the laundering, no Carer showing up, lack of communication etc., now they could be killing customers, to boot!

Had I been in a Haze or Confusion state, which I often am at times, or had just had an evil dizzy spell, I would have taken their word for it about the tablet dosage, without question. Anyway, I took another, despite being told not to touch the medications and leave it to the Carers to do?

There are so many good Carers who call on me, as well. Patient, understanding Angels, who make everyone feel special, methinks. Not that I don’t understand. I know about trying to do a job when staff do not turn up, calling in within minutes of their shift starting to say how poorly they are. Team members are called in far too often and get fed up with it.

Add to mix the lack of resources and facilities. Due to the Carers market being so competitive and working to a strict budget, I am surprised that so many companies are vying for our trade. Yet it’s the same in the Security industry. I got up to being a controller, but I had all the frustrations that the so-called, Caring companies now have.

Anyroad up, I halved some Warfarin tablets to use later. Fair enough, while Peripheral Pete lets me, I’ll continue to do them. The Carers are not allowed to use the tablet-splitter.

I made a brew of Sainsbury’s Extra Strong tea. And took this photo on the right of the weak, disappointing sunset tonight. Although to me, there was still something beautiful about it.

Whoops I didn’t notice it at the time, but I left the tea on the side of the cooler and forgot all about it. Tsk! Then found a photo from yesterday that I failed to put in the blog.

Back to the Iceland order-making…

Boy, did I get a shock! It would not accept my card details when it came to checking out. I double-checked those put in, and they were all the same as usual? Then a message came up telling me to check that there are sufficient funds in my account!

Well, panic stations! Have hackers knocked all my money? Or has the Bank closed my account? I couldn’t ring Jillie at first and had a job on the mobile, getting Jill’s number off it, so I could use the landline. I tried again and got through… but to Jenny’s, not Jillies’ Jenny was all calm about it and told me to go to the Bank in the morning and sort it out.

Whether the legs will let me get down there or not, I’ve got to. Then I rang Jillie, but there was no answer. I tried a few more times without any luck. I am panicking more now. I pressed on with updating this blog as far as here and decided I’d better get summat to eat. But realised that nothing could be done until tomorrow anyway.

I’ll be back in the morning… I hope. If I can get any sleep… I didn’t!

Inchcock Today: Thursday Theatrics

Thursday Theatrics

Morning Thoughts In Ode

For joy or success, I can only pray…
After the daymare, called Wednesday,
It all went ape-shit after midday,
Full of decay, disarray, and dismay,
But it is, after all, now a Thursday…
I expect sorrow or deprecation, alackaday!

But, I must not look at it this way…
These feelings of depression, I must allay!
Ignore my Thought Storms who bring banality…
But failure, for me, is an inevitability…
An ageing body that can’t cope with a Segway,
Dementia Doreen, who stealing my logicality…
Cruelly toying with my already befuddled memory…

Kathleen Cataracts, Deaf Donald, annoy me,
As does Arthur Itis and Cartilage Cathy…
Then there’s the danger of Peripheral Neuropathy!
Which is worse? Thought-Storms that gives no leeway…
Always brain-rattling, confusing me… it never goes away…

Or my physical ailments, though not so bad today…
Some pains so bad, they can leave me delusory…
I even limp and fall over, somnambulistically!
The falls were possibly caused clinicopathologically…
No idea what that means; I dropped it in casually!

Well, that’s got the bad stuff out of the way…
It could be a better day? Conceptualistically,
Then again, it could go badly, confrontationally?
I hope conversationally, or even convivially!
Depressive, error-ridden, painful, or distastefully,
If so, the day will go conventionally!

What a wet, embarrassing start to the day! I would guesstimate that from waking and getting to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket), it would have been about a minute or so, although it felt like half an hour. And still, I didn’t make it in time! Shame, despondency, self-loathing, and the ignominy of it at my age… Weeing one’s Protection Pants! Still, they did the job, but unfortunately, I have little feeling when passing water nowadays and pulled Little Inchie out before he’d run his course… So, the second job of the day was cleaning up and sanitising, then a change of pantaloons, washing myself thoroughly, and getting the socks, jammie-bottoms and jumper in the bowl soaking in Dettol. Well, that wasn’t planned!

I tried to upload the photos, but the computer wasn’t having it. So, there may not be any of today’s pictures on here at all! I can clip stuff from the web, copy & paste them into CorelDraw and get some things on that way. Use old photos… but not import any at all! Gragnangles!

Now I should have been in a Dracula Depression over this, but I had no idea why; maybe the embarrassing event when wee-weeing had overridden… What am I talking about?

I got the blood pressure and the temperature taken. I didn’t bother taking any pictures. I felt it would be a waste of time. The SYS 158, DIA 69 and temperature 34.8°c, seemed okay.

The annoyance of not being able to use the photos I’d taken started to irk me badly now! I pressed on finishing yesterday’s blog and got it posted off. Then went on the WordPress Reader and Comments.

I took a photo of the end car park and a couple of the Ocado delivery, don’t know if I’ll be able to get them on later.

The Ocado delivery arrived, the driver put the bags through the door into the hall for me; thank you! As I was taking the bags through to the kitchen, ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ announced the arrival of Carer Richard. ho checked the use-by dates on the delivery and what I had left in the fridge; a few items had to be dished! Good of him, cause with Cataract Kathleen, Glaucoma Glenda and Sandra Saccades, there is no way I could read the dates on some of the packets! Thanks, Richard, me old flower!

There were some things that I could not recall ordering and certainly didn’t want or need in the Ocado order. Either substituted or ordered in error by me – which is more likely. So it was like a shopping trip for Richard; I kept asking him he fancied this and that, Hehe! Got medications sorted out, and we had a chinwag and laugh for a couple of minutes. Then he had to go; he was beginning to look wearier as time went by, which is not surprising as he’d just finished his night shift. He took the waste bag with him to the chute for me, Jolly decent chap!

An hour or so on the blogging, it was slow going again, but that will be the norm from now on, methinks. Then… off to the wet room… to make us of the Porcelain Throne; another bad one.

Med Dioctyl AI took a Dioctyl (Poo-softener) capsule again. Getting things moving took a while and a lot of painful effort. I’ve not had to apply so much pressure for such a long time in years. All the way through as well! Still, to my surprise, there were only specs of blood. And the innards soon settled down again.

Hehe! I’d been that long on the Throne; my tea had gone cold. Made another and started this blog going.

Ah, I suddenly realised that there had been no noise coming from Herbert this morning? I hope he’s not well and had an accident.

I checked on the Amazon Deliveries, one today, one tomorrow. Shame they were not both on the same day. Hello, that’s the third change of ETA! Not that it matters, really. It’s just the thought of it coming late in the night and my having to stay awake to receive it that bothers me. Also, will the delivery person leave it in the reception foyer or bring it up to the flat? Mmm? Or… is it a ploy to have them both delivered on Saturday? Which would suit me; it’s just not knowing.

Ah, Herbert is back at doing what he does best (apart from sneering at and ignoring me when he sees me, Haha), Clunking, tap-tapping. But it didn’t last for long. Hehehe! He’s losing his annoyance Defcon 2 label here.

I tried to get the photos onto the computer again. Much to my amazement, the reader let me load some, not all of them, but still. Here’s last night’s super-supper. Which went down superbly, even if it was eaten after midnight! I burnt the potato waffles to perfection for my tastes. The beef, potatoes, cheese, and bean pasties were a delight and tasted. The mini tomatoes, red, yellow and green, were smashing! Which leaves only the mushrooms… Oh, dear, not good, I ate only one of them! Someone mystery person, whoever it was, told me to try wine vinegar with this fungi, so I did! Sickly sweet they tasted. Which kept the Flavour Score down to 8/10.

The end of Citrus Walk photo was… no, no, Chestnut Way, showing Red Van man parked back in his favourite position, on the yellow no-parking chevrons on the roadway. Not that it would bother him, I’m sure. Potentially blocking any Fire Engines from turning to get to the flats. Whoever he is.

A photograph of the Ocado carrier bags that were delivered this morning.

Hello, he’s off again! Bang, tap scrape, thud! Another short-burst. Thanks, Herbert!

The fridge was looking under-filled compared to usual after a delivery? Mind you, a fair bit of stuff was found out of date by Carer Richard this morning, and I gave him five items that had been sent, mysteriously… Well, I can’t recall ordering them. Tsk! Bonkersness comes in many forms… usually prompted by Vascular Dementia, Doreen, nowadays.

Ah, well, time to get the shaving, medicating and showering done. I thought I’d check on the Amazon tracker first…

Well, the Amazon delivery is just 6 stops away if the tracker is right! He’s got a lot of side streets to get his way through, so I’ll delay the ablutionalisationing until he’s been. Hello, Five stops away now. Exciting this is, innit? Well, not really, so fair enough!) I’m easy to entertain, ain’t I? Hehehe!

It’s still coming, but further away now? It’s all new to me this tracking lark.

Har-har! 2 Stops away now! I’m enjoying this; keep going to the tracker page and taking a shot of the map. As I say, I’m easily pleased.

I’m the next stop now…

Technology has always fascinated me… it’s a shame I was never clever enough to understand it, really.

Gorrit! A bit of an anti-climax! Hahaha!

I made a vegetarian feast tonight. A Bean & cheese flaky pastry pastie. fresh garden peas, honeyed parsnips, ready-prepared M&S Parmentier Potatoes – Diced British potatoes coated in shallot and garlic butter and sprinkled with thyme. (Boy, they were good!), with yellow, black & red tomatoes. Followed by a lemon mousse and a lime & lemon dessert. Taste rating: 9.2/10! It was worth the time to prepare and cook and the effort and time to clean up the mess I made afterwards. It cost a fortune as well! Lovely! I slowly digested every morsel, like a gastronomer.

Put teethings away after washing up, and got down in the rickety recliner, and off into the wonderful land of nod!

Carer Elena♫ Oh, Susana ♫ played from the door chime, and in walked Carer Elena. She soon sorted the medications out for me. I was having difficulty in hearing what she was saying with the ear wax blocking my hearing and the mask she was wearing. So despite her many patients, accommodating, asked-for saying it again… I had to guess what the Angel said, half of the time. But she left happily enough, taking the waste bag with her to the chute for me. 💙

I had a wash (I do that sometimes, you know), and got the bamboo socks on, and I got down in the recliner again.

Put the TV on… and fell into a wonderful four-hour visit with Sweet Morpheus… then woke up with the bigger jump! I had no idea why… But I thought I’ll have to get up to have a look around to make sure all is well in the Inchcock flatlet… But no! I involuntarily nodded off again instead.