Inchcocks Morning Ode…
There are some things of interest, some nostalgic…
I wish to admit to and share on this Samstag,
Like my being an insomniac…
But not a kleptomaniac…
My ailments ensure I move about, looking like a maniac!
My stomach doesn’t look like a sixpack…
The flesh wobbles, flails about, and bounces back…
This is not my only physical drawback…
Cateracted eyes are going; I can just see a haystack!
The hearing is fading, teeth covered in plaque…
Medical bother, I can’t get to see the quack,
My hobbling pace is down to that of a lollygag!
When Jillie came yesterday, she brought me a snack…
Did I mention it? To me, she’s an aphrodisiac! 💘
Inchcock: Sunday 27th February 2022
Gobsmacking! I woke up at 06:40hrs, having had an uninterrupted straight six hours of kip! At last! I think the Hemp capsules, just one at night, must be working! We’ll see!
The fight to free my substantially flabbier and grossly larger-stomached body from the £300, second-hand bought, c1968, nauseously beige-coloured, not-working, rusty, rickety, difficile, crumb-covered tatty recliner; went so smoothly! No Dizzy Dennis’s antics, Cartilage Cathy was hardly any hassle at all, and no toe-stubbing. Arthur Itis, Duodenal Donald, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, were all calm!!! I realised this may be bluff from the body, so I delayed going into a Smug-Mode!
As I was hobbling into the kitchen and working out how long I’d been asleep, I cracked the right shoulder against the door frame! The glasses came off, I dropped the empty bottle I was going to refill! Of course, I took in all in good spirits. After respectaclising myself and cleaning up the mess, and laughed away as I got into the kitchenette. Ahem!
I realised it was Sunday (I usually work these things out within an hour or so of waking up, you know). So, I got all the food and implements needed for Prepping Josie’s chilli stew. Doing pork for her today, for a change. Chopped the veg and added it to the saucepan with the seasonings.
As I rinsed out the lemon washing up liquid bottle before putting it in the waste bag, the bubbles went everywhere, including up in the air! Got back and reran the tap, but it was no good; the suds had died a death. Shame! Like lightning… well, I hobbled as fast as I could and got the Canon to photograph this min-phenomenon.
I got on the computer to finish off yesterday’s blog. The door chime chimed, and I thought it might be the Amazon man with the belated bleach, but it wasn’t.
It was the nippy, perky, Cheeky Charley Carer. Who told me off for spelling her name wrong. She got the medications sorted out, and we had a little nattering session. During which she took a selfie with the Canon, of both of us! Chose her choice of treats (Back of photo), and off she went, taking the waste bags with her. ♥ You just can’t help liking her!
Ten minutes later, ♫Oh Susana ♫ chimed again. It was the food from J Sainsbury’s. The chap took the bags through to the kitchen for me; that was a nice gesture. As he left, he mentioned that I did not look too good. Oh, I felt okay? The first thing I did was get the potatoes in a cool fark place. See the potatoes above? Sainsbury’s new slogan, ‘Helping everyone eat better‘, Does not ring true, does it! They also had only one day’s life on Strawberrys and two on the yellow tomatoes. One substitute and two unavailable items; Which really helps the new slogan get across, dunnit? ‘Sainsbury’s, Helping everyone eat better‘ Crap!
The food cupboard had room left in them both? And the fridge was looking most positively sparse! Ring-pulls on the peas and chilli were no longer on the cans.
No fresh garden peas are available, along with lemon cheesecakes. And the baked cheese curls were loose in the box, with no wrapping!
I wonder which overpaid dimwit came up with this Catchphrase-Motto’? Hogwash! Proof of J Sainsbury’s commitment to their new logo.
Got on with updating the Saturday blog via what bits I could remember and the scrawl on the notepad. I kept checking on the cooking meal for Josie, in between wee-weeing and blog working.
The intercom buzzed, and I thought the Amazon bleach had arrived, even though their Email said it would be coming twixt 15:00>18:00hrs. But I could see no one on the lobby camera? Mmm?
Eventually, I got the blog almost finished, then realised the time, and had to get the Josie-meal readied and served. So, I did! I’d made far too much. So I put another serving in the grey-lidded pot, so she can have another nibble later on. I have to say, this pork one did taste good when I tried a spoonful! Added the extra tidbits; The G&T, Yorkie bar, Cadbury’s chocolate mini rolls, cheese discs, a pot of Devon custard, and two tiny pots of pineapple jelly desserts. Then in a bid to get it to her before it lost its heat, I plodded out into the lobby and rang her bell. She soon answered the door, making her usual perusal of the meal, asking what is it this week then?
I told her I’d put pork instead of beef in the Chilli-stew this time. And again, she told me I’d have her looking like Betty Bunter. Can anyone remember the Betty Bunter character? I’m sure she was in a comic in the ’50s. The comic title was June! The lads had Billy Bunter and the gals Betty Bunter… not sure I can remember the comic’s name. I’ll have a look on the web for Betty Bunter later. Which I did, here she is! It was Bessie Bunter!
I got back to the flat and got all the washing up done. Then posted the blog off. Visited Facebook, WordPress Reader, WP Comments… all between taking wee-wees, of course. Tsk!
16:40hrs: The Amazon box of bleach arrived. As the deliveryman plonked it on the floor through the door – I thought… this is poor! I immediately had a bit of a panic-station, DEFCON-two warning come 
over me! I didn’t like the idea of the label being on the side of the box. Got it into the kitchenette and used the sharp knife to carefully open it. It was apparent that every bottle had leaked! Good job; it was crap bleach; it had only worked its 
way through the inner box. I had a bit of a kerfuffle as I got the bottles from the decaying box and into the sink. Where I checked each one and cleaned it with paper towels.
Having not long gotten over J Sainsbury’s insulting treatment, now it was Amazon’s turn to insult me. Some of the bottles weighed far less than the others; obviously, they had spewed out 
more bleach. Grumph!
I got on with cleaning and drying them, putting each one in the rectangular bowl, in case they leaked again later; at least the escaping bleach should be contained to some degree… I hope!
Francis
I nipped the Strawberries down to Francis’ apartment. I almost forgot about taking them for her this week. Slipped her a cheese twist pastry as well. I hope she likes the cheese twists… ♫ Come on let’s twist again, Like we did last summer, come on… ♫
Been such a busy day for me in some ways. Good job, I remembered, cause they were delivered with one-day shelf-life left on them by J Sainsbury’s! Oh yes… How does it go? ‘Sainsbury’s, Helping everyone eat better.’
Made a long-awaited start on this blog, and an hour or so later, the tune of ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ chirped up. I was so glad that Carer Julie came to see to tend to me.
Julie kindly listened to me moaning about the Sainsbury’s and Amazon deliveries. She even checked the bottles to see they were safe. She really is an Angel to me. America’s loss, and aged decrepit Nottinghamians gain. 💗
The Sherwood sunset was not as dramatic as it has been these last few nights, but still a wonderful Mother nature sight to see.
The blogging was slow-going yet again. I surrendered to the eyelids’ demands and gave up. I’ll continue in the morning. Hopefully, Hahaha!
Got the ablutions done and back onto the blogging. It was hard going. There is no bother from DD (Dizzy Dennis), just CC (Cartilage Cathy)
Sister Jane rang, we had a natter. Humph! (Although this might have been on Saturday).
Continued to work on this blog, awaiting the arrival of the evening Carer, whoever that may be. Carer Elena, I think. Wrong again, it was Carer Valerie. On her phone again. No chatting time. Gave me the medications and carried on with her phone call. I tried to get her to turn around to take this photo, but as she was on her mobile chinwagging, she wouldn’t. Hehe!
The whatever they are called on the ends of my fingers on the right hand are getting painful; When they touch anything, including keypad buttons. They look like bits of food. I spent a while trying to scrub them off. Hahaha! I think it is 
specs of blood from under the skin.
I got the belated Health Checks done. Starting with the Boot’s Sphygmomanometer, made and manufactured by ZDEAC (Zhongshan Daguan Electrical Appliance Company Ltd) in Guangdong, China. (Okay, as it appeared to me, a smidge high SYS) But not worrying, it’s been a lot higher. No doubt it will droppeth like a stone. Or maybe not. Hehe!
The Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd™, contactless thermometer, scarily gave a reading lower than ever at 32.9°c! Nervous of this, I tried the in-the-ear thermometer. 
Just look at those sausages that Jillie did for me! All I had to do was reheat them Bootiful! I must ask where she got them from; these had bits of red peer in them, absolutely perfectly part-burnt, just how I love them. I could get addicted to these, which is fair cause I’m already addicted to Jillie! Thanks again, you Angel! I ate it all up, not a scrap left on the plate. The only thing not so good was the Sugar snap peas from Iceland. They usually get Nigerian; these were Egyptian and nowhere near so sweet. But, as I’d long ago had a 
cuddle and hug with Jillie, it didn’t matter so much. The tomatoes were sumptuous again. I ate each sausage with a slice of the thin, soft Milk Roll bread, dipped into the BBQ sauce. Wunderbar! Taste: 8.9/10
Then I remembered the coming any time now Amazon order. Huh! Went on the tracker site to investigate…
I could still taste the beautiful sausages she did for me. Mmm! I know I took a Hemp capsule cause when I got up for a wee-wee, the bottle fell from between my legs. Hahaha! Which in itself perked me up.
Sweet Morpheus and an excited brain meant it took ages to drop off. The usual first-response, of putting the TV on, searching for something interested showing, and trying to watch it – that sends me typically off at the first set of advertisements. But not tonight… Well, I watched a murder documentary, nearly all the way through, a 2-hour program as well! I needed the sleep that arrived, but of course, it meant missing the last 10 minutes or so of the programme. Tsk! But turning off the TV, and I reckon I was off into dreamland within minutes! I’m sure I had many dreams… likely with Jillie in there somewhere, but I had no recollection of any actual details, just happy thoughts.
Just asking, like… Not that it bothers me!
I got my head down late, and I fought to nod off until gone midnight. At least I only shot awake twice, well, three times, but I decided to get up then, at 4:30hrs. I was persuaded by Little Inchie, who required a wee-wee. Hehe!
Shuddering Shoulder Shirley was getting a little rough at times; these episodes continued all day, though never for any lasting time, a minute to perhaps five.
Ah, things did get a bit fraught in the teggie-cleaning and shaving departments! I caught the broken tooth, and a bit more came off, and I vampires some of the blood. Hehe! Then, I managed to nick my right ear lobe with a razor, and boy did that bleed too! The tiniest cut imaginable too? I had to use a lot of kitchen towels to soak it up with. And a lot of the Brute aftershave.
A skunk and a clatter from aloof, sniffy attituded Herbert’s apartment above.
Carer Richard rang the ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ chime and came in. I was in the kitchen, suffering from a longish and violent attack from Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley. I was struggling to stir the tea safely. Good old Richard did it for me. He’s never been here when I was having an SSS session; it fritted him a little at first. He’s a caring Carer. Got the prescriptions taken, had a little natter, and even raised a laugh. Off he trotted after selecting some treats.
I went to make another brew, Thompsons Punjana, this time. By, gum, the sky looked like it was getting darker again? I took a snap from the kitchenette window of the front car park, Chestnut Walk.
I waited a while, hoping some birds might fly by, but they didn’t. 
Had a wee-wee, washed, made a mug of Thompsons Punjana, and made my way out into the balcony. To take a photograph of the end car park.
amazingly calm, so I tried to make the best of this… but I was only causing more errors by trying to rush. Then: 
I came across the picture I thought I’d lost, of last nights’ nosh. Some idiot put it in the wrong folder, TSk! 
Checked the beef chunks in the crock-pot. These are Icelands “Extra Lean” beef chunks, by the way. Just look at the fat floating freeing around! Eurgh! I sieved some off of the mixture, and I added some gravy browning and black bean sauce… fingers-crossed for tonights’ nosh! Looks horrible?
Going to have to rest a bit now. An unfortunate visit from Dizzy Dennis forces this. Made a mug of Glengettie and ate a rather delightful mini-marshmallow, which tasted so good! I s
I nodded off, quickly, and a few minutes later, shot-awake, clambered free of the £300 recond-hand recliner, and off for Porcelain Throne visit number three of the day! Giving myself en route, the first good hefty toe-stubbing of the day! Argh! Ahem! I never flinched… or swore at all.
♬ Oh, Susana ♬ chimed out again. It was Phlebotomy nurse Hristina! I immediately cheered up. And girded parts of my loins that had not been fortified since the last time she came! Hahaha! I know; I remember needing the tablets.
Minutes later, ♬ Oh, Susana ♬ chimed out again. Once more, my heart rate increased… for it was desirable Carer Elena, come to do the medications. We had another natter and laughed. thanked her, offering her choice of nibbles and drinkies, she is always reluctant to take any, but I forced her I thin in the end. ♥ She departed, taking the waste bags with her for me to the chute. 🧡
Got the nosh sorted and served up. A bit better this time. The beef chunks that had been heating in the slow-cooker for seven hours or so tasted better cause of the BBQ and chilli seasonings. The black, yellow and red tomatoes were tasty. The fresh garden peas were terrific! The cheese and bean pastie went down well. Rating: 8.2/10. 
A g
I got the medical checks sorted straight away. The body temperature was still too low. But what should I do? It might be the machine? They tell me to ring 999 if it is below 45°c? But it’s not far off this time.
There was no hassle about the Blood Pressure, though, all looking pretty good, with SIA 152. DIA 74. and Pulse at 80. This seemed fair to me. Glad the BP machine was working after my dropping it yesterday.
Into the kitchenette to put the kettle on, and I trod on something small and challenging – I guessed right, it was an escaped garden pea gone rock hard. Hehe! Made me jump a bit! I also found a tablet?
The intercom rang at 06:30hrs, and the Ocado driver brought the bags up to the flat. Nice chap.
Sorted out what’s what and where they are to go. The frozen Heinz Beanz Burgers went in the freezer, along with the battered cod bites and fishcakes with mushy peas in them. Natoora black tomatoes, 
yellow tomatoes, steak pie into the fridge, with some difficulty… Cartilage Cathy was in a right rotten mood with me when I bent to get the bottom tray filled. Cor, blimey, was she! But the bending to pick up the peas and pill might have contributed to Cartilage Cathy’s annoyance. Hehe!
Then I moved on to the third or fourth bag. The black box held 12 mini-pots of M&S fruit and jelly. Which I read when ordering to be strawberry flavoured. They had actual fruit in the jelly, but one of them was the forbidden for me pineapples. On a closer look, they also had seeds in them, which will most likely cause me a toothache. They’ll have to go! I know how to live! I made a bottle of spring water up with some of the lemon and lime cordial for later.
I got some fresh garden peas and lemon and lime yoghourts too. Two favourites there!
I stopped making changes too late and could not work out how to correct things. I went for a break and made a brew of Glengettie, taking this photograph of the morning view, in which I caught some crows on their way to a tree-
top murder in the park. 
Doing the updating of the blog for yesterday and got deeper into a mess of confusion with the computer for an hour or so, and the ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ tune rang out.
I managed to encourage the picture ap to recognise the photo of the end car park at last. I took it this morning around 08:00hrs or thereabouts. Only just got it on the computer. I’m having all sorts of problems with it now – a case of last legs, methinks? (Me too, Haha!)
05;10hrs: A bit of clunking from the flat above. I made my way to get the clothes and off into the wet room.
I was wrapping the tubing around the casing to replace the sphygmomanometer, and Peripheral Neuropathy Pete gave me a little jerking session. The BP machine ended up 
hitting the radiator and under the desk on the floor. I got the precious picker-upperer and retrieved it. 
A more significant concern then – the body temperature was showing as 33.7°c! Well below the minimum of 35. I tried the ear thermometer, which showed up as ‘Low’. Is it me doing it wrong, machine kaputt? I just don’t know!
Not one of my better efforts, for more than one reason. Here they are: I made far too much
As I was sulking and taking the things into the kitchen to be washed, the sunset was beautiful! 
The top shot I took from the door as I reentered the kitchenette.
So peaceful and serene. I had to force myself to come away… although I did have some encouragement by needing yet another wee-wee. And I’d not been drinking much tea! Bootiful!
You’ll notice my cock-up here, I suppose? Well, I nodded off for a few seconds and it moved onto National news… Tsk!
Ah, Nottingham will get it now, if this forecast is right, we’re smack in the middle of the blue!.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I sat there, Shirley twitching away like a good un, and feeling lucky to get there almost in time, and sorry for myself and ashamed that I didn’t… if you understand what I mean? It was another messy job cleaning me, and the wet room 
furniture, at least Harolds Haemorrhoids and Little Inchies fungal lesion were not bleeding, so after a bit of thought on my situation. Due to the early release from the read end, and the liquid nature of the evacuation from the rear, some of the product had sprayed onto the porcelain and floor So, I almost cheerfully got the disinfectant and mopped the floor.
I deemed that it could have been a lot worse. And actually cheered up an iota! 
I got the Health Checks done. But this time, 
things had gone back to their usual worrying levels, Tsk! I suppose the kerfuffle with the evacuations didn’t help matters, so I didn’t worry overly about these figures. Hopefully, they will be back down in the morning again.
The Sys was up a lot (43) at 171, Dia up to (62) 80, and the Pulse up to (69) 76. The body temperature showed 34.8°c, about the same as yesterdays reading was. Oh, it’s a little low, says Google. I think.
Carer Richard arrived shortly afterwards, and he was in a bit of a rush, running late. We still managed a mini-natter. During which the Ocado order arrived. The driver was given a thank you can of pop. He left the bags through the door for me, and I set about getting them into the kitchenette.
I started to sort out the incoming fodder. Two Pukka pies I could not remember ordering in there? One was a cheese, leek & potato one? I’m sure I’d have known if I ordered that? It might be a substitute? 
Still, it sounds alright to me.
A mixed bag of stuff on the wheeled trolley server. Orange jelly, bleach and Dettol lavender scented. 
Another mystery, they had sent two bunches of five bananas? Last week they sent a bunch of ten when I ordered (I think) five? That reminds me, I’ve got some Amazon stuff coming today.
I got the items away in the refrigerator. The two pies, one beef and the cheese as mentioned above, leek & potato Pukka pies, are used by dates on them for four days.
The milk I’d ordered was one massive Welsh organic 3-litre whole milk bottle! I can’t imagine even me ordering a dollop of milk this size. Substitute? Still, I’m chuffed that it is Welsh, as with the Glengettie teabags. There is a streak of Welsh in my family line… someone once told me that, anyway. Dad, I think it was?
Despite the rob-dogging pricing, the Natoora black tomatoes, the large and small ones ordered, were delivered and worth the extra methinks. They are deep and bright red inside. Taste wonderful!
The smaller ones looked like they were made of wood with their colouring. Not had these before, they might taste different, but I’ll give them a go. Not Welsh, these, the large ones are Spanish, which doesn’t bode well, the last ones were Italian, and the small ones are this time. I’ve never taken to tasteless Spanish tomatoes.
Did the blog for a few hours and then made a mug of Thompsons Punjana tea using the new milk. All was fine. Had a mini-packet of Crawfords Mini-Cheddar biscuits, BBQ flavour. Nice enough for me.
When the intercom rang. A delivery, now that’s service, I thought. The man came up to the flat, which was nice; Amazon usually leaves stuff down on the table in reception.
Great balls of fire! It was the Dettol being delivered?
But no, there it was, ‘Arriving 11th-12th February! That really was good service then! I got the bottles stored away, had a wee-wee, and returned to check on the other goods expected. Still, 22:00hrs! Tsk!
Turned in the TV and fell asleep. But another fitful one, waking every few minutes it seemed. The evening Carer arrived, ringing the ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ chime, she came in. Another new gal to me, Carer ‘Ifra’. Another beautiful young thing. Confident in her duties, had a little natter with me… well, I had a natter with her. Hehe! Ifra took the waste bag with her on leaving, I had to force the treats on her, she chose a can of orange and an Easter egg. Lovely natured gal. Bade our farewells.
I soon turned into an uglier imitation but albeit me a smaller one, a younger one, less fodder-wise, shorter, and an older one, of Gordon Ramsay. Hehe!
too much. This is good! I thought, so I pressed on conscientiously and even felt a bit proud of my efforts. Smug-Mode-Assumed. I got the last potatoes in the oven, and they were done in no time. I got them out on the chopping board added all the seasonings you can see in the photo above. Then bashed the living daylight out of potato flesh and mature, strong cheddar, adding Squid sauce (liquid salt), BBQ seasoning, spirit 
vinegar, Worcester sauce and a dirty great-chunk of butter! It took ages to get it all to mix together, I don’t know how long it took me, but I was all weary-armed by the time I got the shells back in the 
oven to brown off. Haha!
The door chime played its Oh, Susanna tune, and I anticipated Richard coming down the hallway, but whoever was buzzing did not come in
Checked on my plates and legs; they were a lot better looking than yesterday. As I was just about to start getting smug again…
The sphygmomanometerisationing showed the Blood Pressure was up a smidge, at Sys 148, Dia okay at 68, and the temperature read 86. Nowt much to worry about; I’ve had a lot higher at times.
I was soon woken up by Herbert bashing about. At this time of night, it might not be late for some, but it is me, 22:00hrs gone! The ungregarious, unamiable, unloquacious, haughty, pompous, git! Still, he soon stopped. This may have had something to do with hitting the roof with my walking stick…
Which serves me right, cause I stubbed my toe getting back in the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly-beige-coloured, not-working, rickety, incommodious, grotty recliner. Tsk!
The pots were put in the oven cooking, and I did some blogging. Then got the tubers out and sliced them. I’d got the cheese in the basin all ready with the seasonings already in it. I then took the flesh out to mix in the bowl…
Got the cheesy spuds in the tray and back into the oven. They were soon all looking good and browned off pretty well. 
I’d forgotten I’d already ordered some wine, which was delivered today with the other stuff. I can tell you now, it was for Sister Jane and hubby Pete. I’ll ring them later to say to them they can collect them.
I’m not so sure about the Iceland new Fruit & Salad desserts. In fact, I don’t recall ordering them? But, there you go.
Hello, I just had an attack from Shaking Shaun,
I can’t recall paying her for the packages and postage! Guilt runs through me, now. 
I’ve found the missing snap of Sunday’s lunch though…or was it Mondays? Erm, yes, Monday’s! I’m nearly positive it was… I’ve taken to the Iceland beef pasties, a few onions and potatoes in it too.
Evening Carer Julie arrived, full details near the top of this page (photo). This is the first picture I took of my American gem, Julie. As you can see, I was a bit shaky at the time. Shaking Shaun! But Julies attention made everything feel so much betterer! ♥
Good Morning
Well, alright then. I woke and needed a wee-wee, as I got up to catch my balance, I ended up on my bum on the floor! This released the urine, burst some of Harold’s Haemorrhoids, and the jammie-bottoms pulled against Little 
Inchies fungal lesion, and the blood flowed! Not a good start to the day at all! 
The state of the feet and ankles fair cheered me up a bit. Much better!
The veins in the legs seemed to be all calmed down as well. See? Cheery news from the depths of depression! Not all good mind, Arthur Itis’s knees, and Shaking Shaun were both playing up. See that? Another positive there! If you are lucky enough to have so many complaints, illnesses, ailments etc., you will never get bored. Now, will you?
Got a brew of Glengettie made, and took this picture of the morning sky from the kitchenette window.