Inchcocks Memories Invoked by One old Photograph

Baroness-Ruth-Henig-CBE

Down the alleyway between the cafe and the Naval Club was where my doctors was situated: Dr Foley. An elderly woman with a no fuss attitude, I liked her – I can picture her now – with her fussing and stern assistant/pharmacist/nurse who would light the gas-fire in the waiting room with a loud bang and flash of flame. I was on her books from 1949 to 1969.

The cafe (Can’t remember the name, something Latin I think? No doubt someone will be able to inform me I hope) The owner hired young near-do-wells like myself to sell hot dogs at the weekends in the city centre. I think they sold for 9p beefburgers 1/-. They were stored in hot water in compartments in the heavy and hard to push trolley base. The onions were horrible. Keeping folk from nicking the watered down ketchup and Daddies sauce was a problem.

To the right was the Hong Kong Restaurant. On more than one occasion they were prosecuted for some hygiene irregularity but there were so many brothers and sisters in the family, that when they were barred from running food premises, they just sold it to another family member. Mother worked there for a while – and often she was given tins with no labels on them to open and mix ready for the cook to prepare in dishes. One day she told Dad that one of these tins had a bit of label left on it – it was Top Cat cat food! Later they were done yet again, but I never heard any of the locals complain and it was always busy?

The Italian restaurant I cannot remember ever seeing anyone ever eat there. We used to joke that it must be a cover-base for the Mafia.

In later year I’d frequent the Naval Club, where the beer was only so-so but the  company was great – I loved listening to the members stories of their war exploits.

In one of the  flats above the Hong Kong restaurant lived a lass by the name of Maureen Hutterswaithe – a bonny lass generous with her foibles as I remember… but that might not be a suitable story for  here. But it were grand!

Austin A40Arkwright Street, my stomping ground as an underfed impecunious little ragamuffin.

Not all good memories but much missed nowadays in this greedy uncaring atmosphere I laughingly call life.

Hey-ho – so now I’m feeling a bit low…

Political Graphics (Silly) to aid your choice of who to Vote for in May 2015

Where should they be?

Ode3

What have they done?

Osb05

Osborne parked in a disabled bay

The real Osborne?

Osb09

Still, I reckon

M-Theresa May

MPs known not to have fiddled their expenses are marked with a cross.

M-Theresa May

Lib-Dem’s Manifesto

M-Theresa May

The Rt Hon Jeremy Hunt finds a cheaper version of Warfarin for the NHS patients

M-Theresa May

Inchcock refused entry to Parliament, just because he was carrying a home-made stink bomb and had not paid his Poll Tax – Tsk!

M-Theresa May

Ed Miliband fights the removal of page 3 nudes

M-Theresa May

The finest liar since Tony Blair!

M-Theresa May

Quote from The Guardian: David Cameron warned on Sunday that Britain needs to be on alert for “roving firearms terrorist attacks” in Britain!

M-Theresa May

Islington Labour controlled County Council to introduce £60 fines for diesel found leaving their motors running – 2nd offence could mean imprisonment!

Lib-Dems say ban all petrol and Diesel cars by 2040!

M-Theresa May

UKIP – and when you wake up…

M-Theresa May

Would you buy  car from this nepotist?

Inchcock Party: May 2015 Election – Shadow Minister’s Portfolios

As part of the Inchcock Parties ‘No Secrets Ruling’, as discussed and passed in the Leg of Mutton Arms snug last Wednesday night – we hereby present the portfolios, views and complete range of investments held by each of the Parties Top Shadow Ministers.

We approached each prospective member and asked them to supply details of their investments and holdings openly – so that voters in the 2015 May elections can understand the worthiness and honesty of each of our prospective MPs.

Shadow Prime Minister: Clivey-boy Danton

avote01Apart from being a part shareholder in a casino or two, West Ham bookies, owning a few second hand car showrooms, Watchit Solicitors, an interest in Gregowskis & Farage Romanian Wine and Tobacco Importers, Documentational Reproductions Inc, an investment in me brothers Walthamstow Dog Track, West Ham Sports Supplies, Lighter Watches and Mobile phone supplies and shares in various breweries I have little in the way of financial investments. I lead a quiet life and attend the Chapel when I am not doing charity work for the Kray brothers inspired Danny Soz Young Ladies Appreciation Society yer know.  The wife Jilly supports me on most of my political activities. Convincing her that a few jars down the Abbey Arms to encourage the locals to vote for me is part of those duties is hard – but she does welcome me back home after a hard nights campaigning and helps clear me head stomach and mind in readiness for the next days challenges. There’s no doubt about it, I am a Red Tory with affiliations to the I Hate Blair movement and National Socialism in it’s milder form. So there you have it in a nutshell – that reminds me I’ll have get me creams rubbed in – see you later… “Jill…. Jill…”

Shadow Minster of Transport: Mike Steedenski

avote02Before I became a complete and utter alcoholic and had to turn to politics as a career, I used to be a Police Officer. Fair enough, some of the jobs I had to do didn’t turn out right I admit this – especially me traffic controlling skills. So I moved on to become a part-time PA and Brewery Bottled Ales tester. I lost that Ale Testers job when they found me sober twice in six months. So when I was blackmailing Inchcock threatening to reveal all about his unnatural desires for Shemales and his drinking addiction to Dandylion & Burdock in an effort to get some cash together, we came up with the idea of starting a new political party see? So here we are like. As for investments, back-handers and profit from hustling… I’ll ask the missus Shirl (Councillor Shirley Blamey, Shadow Minister of Education) to type out a list fer you later when she gets back from her sponsored fact finding trip to the Bahamas to compare their figures with those of the UK on the European Spadefoot Toad mating habits within the confines of urban areas between 0500hr and 1000hrs on weekdays when it isn’t raining. She should be back in six months or so. Mind you I’d hate anyone to think that the donation I received to my campaign funds from Inchcock himself was in any way bribery or backhanding – and I’d like to thank him now for the 25p.

Shadow HM Treasurer: Marissa Bergen

avote05I think I could be of benefit to the UK as Treasury minister – and at the same time give the Europe lot a poke in the eye by having an American minister in the Government? Being a Politician, Banker, Rock-n-Roll Supermom, Musician and very good with numbers as well, I believe an Inchcock Government would be good for the country. My investments are mostly in the banking world – I moved out of the oil share thing when I learnt of all the fracking going on – there might be a song in there somewhere… “Whole lot of Frackin’ goin’ on!”? No? Ah well. My total investments are probably less than $18m.  The return of the Punk era music would help the economy no end.

Shadow Minster of Justice: Big Gaz

avote02aThe police force will be reduced to tackling traffic, junior school riots, dangerous mobility scooter drivers and pavement cyclists member. My own squad would take over the rest of their duties. Sentences would be given that mean what the say. VAT on knuckle dusters, Lugers and Champagne Perry will be removed. The death penalty will be returned and anyone being nasty to dogs will get it! My investments? Well antique stuff will also get the VAT removed and my Government department will check every item to see if it genuine – this may cause a bit of a backlog in trading, but we are prepared to purchase any viable company who are struggling. I have no investment personally youth… believe me mush!

Home Office Shadow Minster: Churchy

avote03All suspicious moneys, diamonds, jewellery, bank drafts, drugs, investments, films and books of a sexual nature etc will be examined by my department before being allowed into or out of the country.  member. Any female immigrants aged 18 to 24 will also be given a medical and permission for them to remain in the country will be decided on the outcome of their medical at my office in Whitehall. As for my investments, I’m broke, flat broke, gone into financial liquidation, not a penny to spare, had to take a job on as part-time postman… Hehehe!

Culture Media & Sports shadow Minister: Shirley Blamey

avote04Interviewed in the Bahamas by Big Gaz

I intend to get hands on when I get this positions. It is essential that all male athletes competing in sports have a thorough working over… well check that their various bodily parts are in full working order before being allowed to compete – and shall be out in the field to ensure this is so. The older male competitors will be allowed to compete without checks being carried out. There will be random checks by myself six days a week, of selected personages such as those in this photograph as an example. Once I’m satisfied of there capabilities and the fitness of their foibles they can play away. Now then, my investments you ask about my financial investments? Huh!

Mental Health Minister: Inchcock (interviewed via email)

avote06The fisicul and metal elth of our citisens is paramount to me. An I noe abart these fings mate.

Cause the drugs like make yer lose it like dont they.

Investmunts? Me?

No… I dont fink so like…

Inchcock Today Fri 27 Mar 15: A Day of Failed Witticisms!

DSCF0001A Day of failed Witticisms

Friday 27th March 2015

 

Couldn’t get to sleep last night, tried everything – reading me D-Day book, looking at me Trolleybus book, Facebook, radio etc… Not much luck.

Seemed like I got ten minutes akip and anther ten wide awake all night until about 0445hrs when I nodded off for four hours solid.

————————————–

Dreams I remembered:-

Working for someone in a sprawling factory with a tiny porta-cabin office where I was called to regularly and given jobs that took me off-site. I think I was being nice to the boss for some reason, although I sensed I didn’t like him. I can recall two of the jobs given me… well bits of them.

Job 1: I was a court judge – I handed out some pretty horrible punishments – A Pavement cyclist got life, A mobility scooterer got twenty years hard labour (I can’t recall what for), Tony Blair was sentenced to having his tongue removed then to be executed by being stoned to death by the relatives of dead soldiers and a footballer I sentenced to having his testicles crushed in a vice… there were many others I’m sure but can’t recall them or why now.

Job 2: I had to fetch something from a place I didn’t know and take it back to the boss -I went on a motorbike, got lost in a giant office complex and started panicking – a beautiful plump round-faced pretty posh lady helped me find the office I wanted – As I left with the parcel under my arm I looked back up at the building and saw her smiling and waving to me… I got knocked over and woke up in the Queen Elizabeth Military Hospital in Woolwich without any legs… first thing I noticed was the well crushed parcel in a shopping basket with my bloodied clothes on the floor by the bed – two men with broken noses, scars, knuckle-dusters on and an intimidating appearance came to me and demanded money for the doctors taking my legs off? I told them I had no money, Why they asked, “Cause I’ve spent it all on a new camera I replied”. “Oh #’\% me” said the taller one of the ruffians “You have to have em sewn back on again now then!” The shorter one asked me to take his photo? Next thing I was trying to gain access to the bosses office with the smashed up parcel and the boss opened the door and told me I was sacked and shot me with Luger…

————————————–

WC’d, haemorrhoids bad again, must give them a good soak in the bath and tend to them later. Tut!

Made a cuppa and took me medications before I actually nodded of.

Had a good scrub up and bath – tended to me tender areas.

Did a bit of Facebooking and this diary up to here.

I’ll take me new Fuji camera with me today methinks, see if I can get used to it, I should be okay I’m sure… Hopeful 

DSCF0002I got the bits ready to take to the Sherwood branch of the Nottingham Hospice Charity Shop, bus-pass etc. and set off on walk into Sherwood.

The sun kept coming out occasionally through the clouds a few times and the wind was a bit less than it was yesterday like.

Took a photo of the sky at the end of the road – a tad unwelcoming.

Onto Mansfield Road and I made good headway today cause Arthur Itis and Anne Gyna were good to me – only the haemorrhoids DSCF0003being troublesome.

A different lady on duty today at the charity shop thanked me for the donation and nibbles, nice gal.

She asked if I was alright and for some reason I gave an answer that a woman I worked with in 1968 Margaret used to give me verytime I asked her if she was okay: “Not so dusty, well brushed!” The lady frowned looked me up and down and said quietly ‘Oh’ – Failed Witticism number One of the day.

I caught a bus into town, dropping off at Victoria Centre and walking in from the Tesco end I fed some pigeons some seeds.

Took a photoDSCF0005 of some ‘Bling’ with the new camera for the TFZ gals – after downloading it at home, I was very disappointed with the quality.

I cut through the jitty and out through the back of the centre and made my way to the Aldi store in search of some more of the whole potatoes in herb sauce.

Managed to get four packs, I’m rather taken with them, partly because of the wonderful taste and partly because they cook so well in the microwave oven.

DSCF0006I also noticed they had started selling their own brand of bread thins at a good price – I just got one pack to try them out first.

Then I noticed on my way back through Vic centre – that the ‘Boost’ juice stall had two customers- at the same time – I whipped me camera and recorded this rare almost unheard of event!

A chap passing when I took the photo asked me: “Why are taking a photo of that then?”

I replied (Another failed Witticism coming here…) “I thought David Cameron would like to know how well they are doing!”. Another frown from a Nottinghomian followed by a loud Tut, and off he went. Hey-ho!

DSCF0007I proceeded up the escalator and into the walk-over taking a photograph of the traffic from my usual position.

A tad gloomy and the wind seemed to be picking up.

Down to steps to ground level – and three Vic Centre employees were trying to chase out a crippled pigeon – not with a lot of success either. There was only them and me there and I risked another witticism: “Can you manage lads? Do you want some help like? I could gas-it for yer if it’ll help?” and I laughed out load – this wasn’t appreciated in the least – Dirty looks and sneers came from their faces in my direction as I hobbled down the stairs away from them, leaving them swearing at and chasing the crippled pigeon.  Failed Witticism number three of the day.

I went into Wilkinsons store and got some Antiseptic disinfectant and nasal spray.

DSCF0008Out and back towards Trinity Square.

Noticing the Nottinghomians had not lost none of their love of crossing the traffic lights against the red don’t-cross signal.

I wandered up and dropped some bird seed and meal-worms for the pigeons to nibble.

Then down the jitty to the bus stop.

Where my fourth witticism also failed with the bus-driver!

Getting on the bus I tripped due to the weight of me bag I think (The potatoes?) – and exclaimed something like: “Oh boggleskellysworth” at the pain it caused to me rear end. The driver looked at me outraged and offered a scowl of crushing magnitude. I don’t know what he might have thought I’d said but he was not pleased.

I dropped off the bus at Carrington and popped into the Co-op store to see if they had any of me ice-cream centred fruit flavoured lollies in – they had so I got a pack.

As I approached the till area I went to the first one expecting someone to turn up to attend to me – and heard a female voice call out rather sharply from the other end: “This one, I’m here!” she commanded.

I moved down to her and said chirpily with a grin on my face: “Sorry midduck didn’t see yer, me hearing aid batteries are on the wain!” I thought that as me best witticism of the day…

She didn’t – I got an “Eh…?” from her and a look of incredulity followed by one of the greatest Tsks I’ll ever heard.

I thought it best to stop trying my witticisms any more after failing with first five efforts to bring a smile to anyone’s faces?

Limped back to the bomb-site, slipping some seed to Fatima and Fred on the way.

WC’d and treated me soreness, put me bits away, made a flask tea and went up to start this diary.

Had a rinse and changed into me jammas.

Took me medications then went down to make me potatoes, franks and petit pois, followed by an iced lollie.

Drifted off to sleep…

Inchy Today Thu 9th Mar 15: Incorporating A Photographicalised tour of Nottingham Pay-day Loan Sharks!

Wednesday 18th March 2015

Mess of a night again sleep-wise, my current habit of nodding off any-time anywhere isn’t helping I suppose.

I eventually awoke around 0630 hrs and did my best to remember the dreams I’d had – but nothing at all of any detail came to me – although I remember telling myself more than once ‘I must remember and record this…’ but no notes found?

WC’d.

Not sure, but I have a feeling something needed doing today?

IMG_0015I stirred and went and made a cuppa and a pot of porridge and got the now working laptop on to start this diary. Bit of a cock-up on the porridge stakes though, I thought I’d got a pot of plain porridge and out some honey in it – it turned out it was a pot already flavoured with golden syrup – er-ugh… far too sweet to eat. Tut!

Tried to do the header in Coreldraw9 and it let me do so without freezing for once.

Eventually go missen scrubbed up and while doing me teggies I remembered the clinic visit!

So hobbled a bit faster so as to get missen ready and be there on time.

Walked to the clinic intending to catch the bus back to town to have me photographicalisical trip around the Cash-shops all within 5 minutes walk of each other on Upper Parliament Street in Nottingham.

After the clinic (All fine) I realised I had not got me bus-pass with me – Huh!

0402MR1

Set off on walk today

Walked back to the hovel and collected it – came out again and amazingly I felt good enough to walk into town then – worrying that!

0402MR2As I approached the Hucknall Road lights I heard the sound of klaxons and got my camera out to await the arrival of the emergency vehicles, it turned out to be two ambulances, the traffic was light.

0403MRartSome Nottingham pavement Art interested me near the college…

What it was confused me – it might have been food judging by the bits of something scattered around the main body of the artwork, I think I saw something moving from the bowels of the… whatever it was?

0403acctvAs I hobbled on, ever alert for any photographicalisational opportunity th might arise – I spotted sparks coming from the CCTC at the traffic lights on Mansfield Road as I came into the City proper.

I realised later that I’d taken a shot of the old school building clock in the background -it’s now a Community Centre for drop-outs etc.

0404noheadHouse of Fraser had a display of some mannequin legs in jeans and shoes sat on a bench – they did not have any torso and I suppose were a way of saving costs?

Very odd looking to me – how many customers are they expecting who are headless and bodiless? Still, it shows they care about the minorities dunnit? Hehehe!

0410slabI wandered up and onto Parliament Street, down to Long Row to take a few photographs of the Spiv-Money shops and into the City Centre – where I found a Market with 20 or so stalls selling a variety of overpriced impractical rather upper class goods.

There was little interest being shown.

0411Cycl

My first Nottingham pavement Cyclist of the day spotted.

I wandered back up to Upper Parliament Street and took photo’s of the selection of the immoral pay-day loan, pawnbroker, cash lenders, money-sharks whatever you wish to call them situated on that road.

TFZ06

0412CyclThe second Nottingham pavement Cyclist spotted, the git didn’t half the lady jump as the ignorant animal sped passed her.

0412woverI made me way down to the walk-over and took a snap – again showing the Nottingham pedestrian citizenry’s total and flagrant lack of interest in road safety.

0413vicI walked through the Victoria shopping centre mall again taking a photograph from above of the Boost juice bar – I have yet to catch anyone actually using it and buying anything from it?

Down to Tesco for me bread, ice-cream lollies and cheapo min-swiss rolls

By golly I live well!

0414vicCame out from Vic centre near where they were demolishing the old Radio Nottingham car park, much to the entertainment of the workers watching.

Hobbled over to Trinity Walk, with surprising ease today, despite my having walked for so long and far, Arthur Itis and Anne Gyna were both being kind to me.

TFZ01I spotted some… er… ornaments in the jewellers shop window and took a snap of them

They were really expensive, I just wondered what they were?

I caught the bus back to the flea-pit, just starting to feel a bit weary now.

Got in and put me bits away – made a cuppa and had three microwave burgers in bread thins with a bit of BBQ sauce, two lollies and a banana – the Queen doesn’t eat better than wot I do yer know.

Had the nosh and fell asleep.

Woke a couple of hours later and got this done.

Phoned brother-in-law Pete to see how Sister Jane and he were doing. He’s got the flu now, but Jane is a tad better.

Took me medications, passed wind and WC’d.

Did some facebooking and posted this off to WordPress.

TTFN all.

Inchcock Today: Not one me best days…

Sunday 1st March 2015

Slept better last night – didn’t get up until 0700hrs, latest I’ve risen in a long time.

WC’d – no bleeding!

Went down and fed the pigeons – this attracted six cats to the location within two minutes.

Had a session of haemorrhoid treating. Not too bad. The angina very fair. The ulcer, don’t know it’s there. Arthur Itis… just got to live with him I’m afraid. The bruising from me Whoopsiedangleplop down the stair almost gone.

A new month and it seems to have started hopefully… I shouldn’t have said that!

Made a cuppa and started making me medication pots up. 

0702

Started the old laptop up to do this diary and Facebook requested me password – which I couldn’t remember or find, I know I wrote it down somewhere… Huh!

WC’d.

Made another cuppa and went up to the newer second-hand laptop and continued, that let me on like.

Did the graphics Coreldraw not crashing yet.

Huh! now it has! Cobblers! Restarted and went through the opening and warnings coming thick and fast from the new second-hand laptop now. Tsk!

Did some Facebooking.

It’s gerrin’ flipping windy this morning. Howling and blowing me inside doors open – brrr…

Got missen brushed and scrubbed and had a little wander around to take some photos and get some biscuits from Lidl.

As I left the house I noticed a family were moving in the big end house – and they had seven kids bikes outside ready and five 15-17 years olds lurking – oh dear?

0704I wandered down to the shops – the wind was horrendous but the sky looked bright enough.

At the twitchel a gang of nerr-do-well yobs were sat around so I took the long route to Lidl.

There was very little traffic or folk around, and as I walked down the sky 0703began to change from ultra bright to shady?

A pavement cyclist caught me out as he belted passed my me from behind – to fast for me to get my camera out.

At Lidl the atmosphere was taught – don’t know why but it was.

Got some apples, mint biscuits and a bar of chocolate.

Still a tad concerned about the family moving in on my street – I do not want any more bother from the yobs again – it nearly destroyed me and me life last time.

0705I’ll try to get to meet and welcome them tomorrow, see what they are like socially or anti-socially. Hope I’m worrying over nothing.

As I left the shop I noticed the Hotel across the road had renamed their restaurant ‘Gurkha One’.

Got back to the flea-pit and WC’d.

Had some ribs with bread to wipe up the sauce followed by a mint biscuit or two.

Brother-in-law Pete rang. Jane has got to have more tests on her back and legs to try and find out what the cause of the pains are.

Did some Facebooking and updated this diary.

Must remember I do not have an INR test tomorrow – it’s on Thursday this week. Might try to have a run out to Derby or Mansfield?

Oh dear – the promised rain is now really belting down.

Feel tired again, so tired.

I anticipate tomorrow will be another day of over-excitement and lust-satisfaction and record breaking and mind-shattering boredom like today… Tsk!

Inchcock Today: His hobble to the Arboretum

Saturday 28th February 2015

Difficulty in getting to sleep again last night. Tsk!

Got up later than usual and made a cuppa and pot of porridge then took me medications.

WC’d.

Cloudy and gloomy this morning – and the weathers the same. Hehe!

Laptop on and did some work on me blog.

Must get the things sorted for the Nottingham Hospice shop in a bit.

Did a bit of Facebooking and WordPress reading.

WC’d.

Eventually I found me hearing-aids in me cap on top of the burnt-out cooker in the kitchen.

Polished myself up and got ready to go for a walk to the Nottingham Arboretum being as the weather looked okay – windy but not cold with it at all. Feed the mallard ducks their earthworms and the pigeons their seeds and bit 0601carringof bread like, as well as get some exercise to Arthur Itis’s joints. Hehe!

The sky looked alright as I set off.

Not many folk about this morning.

I slipped the local pigeons some seed as I walked through the twitchell onto Mansfield Road and started me limp along Mansfield Road.

0602manRd1As I approached the junction and traffic islands near the Forest Recreation ground: Wait for it…

“I saw a bicyclist cycling on the road and not pavement – honestly!”

I took his photo to prove it!I was so shocked I nearly got hit by a car as I crossed the road.

Further up on the hill up to the 0602manRd2cemetery I espied an ambulance parked up with its blues going – so I increased me walking speed to 2 m.p.h. to investigate before it disappeared.

As I walked passed their was also a Paramedics car in the side road, and they were packing up the defibrillator stuff.

No idea what happened of course, the ambulance men were talking to three young lads.

0602manRd3I crossed the road and up the hill the sky was not looking as friendly as it did earlier.

Still not many folk around.

Hobbled up to the traffic light junction and turned right then left down North Sherwood Street down through the students accommodation quarter to the East entrance into the Arboretum.

I entered and walked down to the famous Muggers Tunnel into the Arboretum proper.

0603Arb1

I was reasonably pleased with this photograph through the ‘Muggers Tunnel

Took a photograph from the end of the tunnel hoping to catch a bit of atmosphericalisation in it.

Quite pleased with the result for once.

There is a photographer name of Paul Militaru who posts some of the most amazing shots on WordPress – I’ve sort of made his standard me target – a bit 0603bhopefully I know.

But even using only me Cannon digital camera I do like it the odd time one comes out as I’d planned and hoped for like what this one of the end of the tunnel into the Nottingham Arboretum did… ish…

As I walked down through to the lake/pond at the bottom of the site, I tried to catch a squirrel or two as I like the challenge (Even the many failures) of trying to capture them.

But today they were very scarce for some reason.

0603Arb2 I enjoyed feeding the ducks and pigeons 0603Arb3while chatting merrily away to them – much to the amazement of those few folk that were around me.

I must say the mallards and the pigeons were a lot plumper here in the Arboretum than the poor things on the canal.

Next time methinks I’ll got to the canal and feed those instead, a much more needy case I reckon.

In the Aviary they had started to show some birds again – Parakeets of some type, but they had not put up the usual descriptive signs yet.

0603Arb2aI tried to take a decent photograph of the Parakeets (If that is what they were) in the cages but this one is the best I could manage.

I was tempted momentarily to throw them some seeds – but thought better of it to be on the safe side I thought. Because I didn’t know if they would agree with them.

TFZer friend Richard Johnson will let me now I hope.

0603Arb4I moved down to the exit gates near the keepers lodge and walked slowly into the City Centre along the tram route then into Trinity Square.

There was a temporary mini-market being held in the square, second world war based/themed.

They was a few stalls and someone 0604Trin2singing second world war songs on a temporary stage. (Not very well mind! She was more interested in selling stuff to the few Nottinghomians that had gathered).

An uphill battle there I thought.

One stall had some original stuff from the 1940’s on sale though they were heavily priced and the wise tight Nottinghomians were having none of it while I was there.

0604Trin1I noticed the ‘Le Petie Four’ cafe was doing better today – five customers in at the same time.

I tried to translate it on the web (‘Le Petie Four’). It told me it meant ‘The Small Oven’. Over to Cyber-pal Lynton Cox for confirmation?

I wandered down to the bus stop, making sure I’d got me bus-pass with like.

0605lightsOn the way I took a photograph of the Nottinghomians crossing the lights on red again.

The three lads having just crossed against the light were not impressed with me photographicalisationing at all.

I moved down to the bus stop and caught one back to Carrington.

En route I remembered I’d forgotten the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop stuff – and I also had forgotten to get some milk.

So I got off the bus a stop early and called into Lidl in Carrington.

Got some kitchen towels, bird seed and milk. And the lady on the till must have been new, because she didn’t get irritated when I fundled with me arthritic hands to pay her – and she didn’t sneer at me either. Shook me that did!

Poddled back to the dump and WC’d.

Started the laptop, made a cuppa, passed wind and updated this diary.

Then made a flask of tea – spilling boiling water on me left hand. Huh!

I plan to have the last of me beef slices later, with some tinned potatoes and garden peas but by then who knows? The world is my oyster when it come to choosing between a beef slice pasty or some slightly out-of-date frankfurters yer know?

Hey-ho.

The rumbling innards seem to on the wane today, and to that hurrah!

Inchcock Today: Back to his second home – At the Queens Medical Centre

Thursday 25th February 2015

What a night!

No sleep at all, me body and mind refused to let me, until around 0400hrs – then when I woke at 0530hrs I remembered bits of a dream I’d had:

A gangster-like looking chap was telling me what would happen if I didn’t purposely loose a contest – no idea now what the contest was – but I reluctantly agreed. When whatever it was came to fruition I forgot and won… Not sure of anything else other then he was following me around in his fur collared coat making various promises to injure me health?

The piles are bleeding, Anne Gyna a bitch, Arthur Itis cruel even the Ulcer is letting me know it’s there. Not all is lost though, the rumbling and grumbling innards seem a bit more settled – I know I’ve said this last week but…

WC’d.

Remembered about my INR checks appointment and got myself abluted in case I fell asleep again.

Made a cuppa and took me medications then started this diary off.

WC’d.

Decided to bus it into town and miss getting a good walk in due to the persistent rain persistently persisting.

Got the things needed in me bag and set out to the bus-stop in time to use me wonderful bus-pass.

0402CyclistAs I approached the pelican lights I saw a pavement cyclist approaching in the distance and got me camera out – I caught the little ragamuffin as he veered around a traffic lights column to avoid hitting a chap and to pass him – he came close to catching me one too.

Swine!

0403cityCaught the bus into town and walked the short distance to the next bus-stop – It were gloomy wet and depressing.

I caught the bus on the right of the picture with the Sterling Moss driver.

I had to shelter under a bus-stop as the rain was getting worserer.

Sterling soon got us to the hospital – shaken but unharmed.

The rain even cut down the amount of patients outside the front of the entrance having a smoke in the no smoking area – wanted to take a picture but the rain was too heavy at this point.

When I went on Monday for me last INR Warfarin tests there were five patients in wheelchairs two of them on drips and three walking wounded – today only three in total.

0405broachI wandered in to the Haematology waiting area passing a display of home made jewellery for sale in support of funds for a certain department, can’t remember which now though.

They had some very nice brooches.

The waiting area was completely empty! My number was called over the tannoy before the ticket had fully come out of the dispensing machine.

Talk about service – I reckon the weather had made folk go later in the hope that the rain would abate?

And a new nurse (to the department) who was training did me samples – very nice I  didn’t notice her much; About 45, stocky, black hair, spot on her left ear-hole, lovely hands, local accent, pleasant disposition, twinkle in her eyes, cuddly and she gave off an aura of desirability of great proportions… I hope she’s there next time I go.

Gave her the nibbles thanked her and said cheerio and out into the rain again.

I pondered on where to go to take some photographs and decided I wasn’t going to walk anywhere and get soaked again, so caught the bus with the plan of going onto the walk-over into Victoria Centre and take some shots on me journey through into Tesco and out near the bus-station and catch a bus back to the dump.

Apart from a woman treading on me corn as I got on the bus there were no occurrences en-route.

0406stepsI dropped off on Upper Parliament Street and walked up the stairs to the walk-over above the road – reaching the top of them I turned and took a photo of the state of them.

Nottingham at its finest. Street Art graffiti, cracked patched up wall with rain running down them, soaking-wet warped wooden hand-rails and a distinctive smell that reminded me of abandoned used urinals.

0407busesOn the walk-over I took photo of the street junction and traffic lights.

It’s not very clear on the photo but there were the usual Nottinghomians crossing the lights against the lights again.

There have been many accidents and two deaths at this junction recently – but Nottinghamians don’t learn easily.

It’s in the blood yer know…

0408VicI wondered into the centre and walked around the sad Victoria market – so depressing with so many stall unoccupied.

Took a photo from the top upper floor, not very busy today.

Nipped into their toilets, all okay though.

Poddled to the end and Tesco and had a wander around and got myself some cheesey seaweed.

4IT3Had a dizzy sell on me way out so leant on the railings outside the doors pretending to enjoy getting soaked in the rain for a few minutes.

Moved on and down to Trinity Square where I took a photo of some ‘Bling’ (Pearls) to post for Jilly in Australia as a Get Well Card. Cause I know he likes pearls yer see.

Fed the pigeons when the rain eased.

Clandestinely.

0409busWalked down to the bus stop.

The rain had eased to a trickle but it made the streets look shiny and clean. Still few people around.

Caught the bus back to Carrington and hobbled home.

WC’d.

Made a beef slice with baked beans and a mousse to follow… oh and some bread and a cuppa.

Laptop on (No Coreldraw crashes yet) and did this diary to here.

Coreldraw9 and Serif Draw x6 crashed in me. I’m fed up now!

Inchcock Today: Sprurghling along… Sat 21st Feb 15

Saturday 21st February 2015

After a night interposed with many uncomfortable rumbling-innards prompted visits to the porcelain.

I forced myself up into physical activity – much against the wishes of Anne Gyna and Arthur Itis.

Pain below me right elbow still with me – no bother from the ulcer, and no dizzies up to now.

0601teaWC’d.

Made a cuppa and a pot of porridge with honey and did some Facebooking.

WC’d.

Watched some old stuff TV on YouTube (Heartbeat).

Had a good scrub-up and abluted and noticed that the two front teeth that the dentist had filled had both gone black?

Urgh!

Pondered on if I should try having a walk today or not.

0602swissDecided to risk it ‘for a Swisskit’ (anyone remember that advert for the chocolate bar from… I don’t know when, ages ago?) and poddle to Sherwood to take me togs to the Nottingham Hospice charity shop, then call at the dentists and last to get a small cooked nosh from the hot food place.

0603sherwAs I arrived near Sherwood the sky looked amazing.

Though I’d check me Lotto numbers at the paper shop. After so many years of trying and only getting one win – £10 and that was shared – I can’t think of anything more futile… Huh, nor one number!

Mind you I’m not surprised.

Fortuitously the Library was open and I sated the demands of me rumbling innards in their WC. Phew!

0604msHalfway up the second hill I spotted two mobility scooters outside a shop and none outside the pub which is normal.

I pressed on up and arrived at the Hospice shop and gave them me bits, then up to the dentist. Where I had a Senior Moment…

0605dent

 I pushed at the door and it was locked, so I read the opening hours on the door and thought well it says here that they are open 0840hrs t0 1700hrs on a Friday… why are they not open now at 1345hrs?

Quick as a flash I got it within minutes – today is a Saturday!

0606aI called in the hot food shop and got a tray of roast potatoes and… er, some meat or other like mince but it wasn’t mince to take home and reheat later.

As I was limping back to the dump I thought I’d take a more scenic route, longer, more hilly but with more trees and that like.

So I did.

I turned right down Haydn Road. As I plodded 0606bdown it the Second Hand Car Sales place that reminds me so much of George Coles Arthur Daley in Minders place from the 70’s TV show.

I don’t think I’d be confident enough to risk getting a car from there somehow.

0606cI carried on down and as I approached the pelican lights a sign that I’ve seen endless times on the side of the road made me smile for once as I saw a funny connotation attached to it today. The sign, behind the red car read: Humped Zebra Crossing…

I bet that made him jump? Hehehe!

0606dI got to the end of the road and turned left up the tree lines hill called Devonshire Drive.

I thought at the time, feeling so much better than yesterday like: “I can do this without any problem!”

And started to ascend the hill with grim determination and a commitment to get to the top in good spirits and maybe jump up then like wot Rocky did in Rocky 3 like…

0606eThird of the way or so up and I stopped to get me breath – but soon started off again showing great spirit bravery and bravado!

So proud of missen I wor.

About halfway up I stopped once again momentarily, the angina starting now and me feet and knees joined in too.

I began to think I maybe made a bad decision in taking this route back to the flea-pit now…

0606gme stick.

Nearly at the top now in this photos.

I realised as I struggled on that I may have seen my last marathon, game of squash, bungee jump or parachute jump as the pains emanating from various quarters of my decrepit ageing flobadob body were increasing in intensity and I needed to get to a WC quicker than I was doing.

Thank heaven the summit was only a few yards 0606haway and I turned right into Carrington and down the hill.

So glad to make it to the porcelain, but the bleeding was back.

I ate the reheated whatever it was meal and enjoyed it – then said a little prayer for it not to start off the rumbling and a-grumbling innards.

As I was washing the pots I managed quite skilfully and without any planning to drop the vinegar bottle right onto me corn on me right foot and said ‘Flipping heck’.

Made a cuppa and limped a little more acutely than normal, up and laptop on, took medications.

I’m so glad I didn’t go on a long walk.

Aye-up… I can feel movements from within…?

Sprurgh!

Nothing more eaten tonight, lost me appetite.

TTFN all.

Inchcock Today: Housebound Again with Diarrhoea! – Fri 20th Feb 15

Friday 20th February 2015

I really did spring awake this morning around 0530hrs – I laid there thinking how nice it was to remember so much details of the dream I’d just been having – when something happened that sent these facts into the ether of unimportance…

I passed wind and boy what a mess!

While I spent a considerable time on the porcelain I recalled what I’d written on me yesterdays Diary: I haven’t had a single evacuation from the rear all day… bit worrying that!”Never a truer statement has been made!

Oh yes, the Rumbling innards are back with a vengeance.

No moving from the bathroom much for me today…

Got missen cleaned up and refreshed.

Went downstairs and took the bins out for collection so as they will not be missed this week by the gentlemen of the Nottingham Hygiene Collection and Recycling Team.

Made a cuppa and went back up and started the laptop – another call to the porcelain – unpleasant.

Took me morning medications, then returned to the porcelain – where is it all coming/slithering from?

I know I’ve got a rather protruding flabby wibbly-wobbly stomach but how it has held all that is coming out now, I don’t know.

As I washed last nights pots I wondered which of the foods I’d eaten yesterday might have caused this unpleasantness?

Put me togs in soak, and updated this Diary of Woe.

Of course now I can remember nothing of the dreams I’d had. Tsk!

0504

I wondered what had caused this malady to return? The minced beef slices, or the BBQ Ribsteak burger? Or neither?

403ctescoOr perhaps the French Horns. (Being addicted to them, I hope this is not the case!).

No further movements at this moment (0729hrs) but plenty of worrying gurgling and rumblings going on from the innards.

Good job I have a decent stock of toilet paper and other items still to hand 0507from the last bother that I had of a similar nature.

As I went down to make another brew, terrible thirst this morning, me other ailments made themselves known to me:

Anne Gyna, Arthur Itis, Hem Arroids and D.  Uodenal were I think a little envious of the ‘Gurgling rumbles and trots taking the spotlight for once. Hehehe!

0506I took a look in me refrigerator to check the use-by-dates on me food for a family of five stocks.

Suddenly I felt rather ill.

Sat down for a while and was back to my normal self in half an hour or so.

Wonder if this has anything to do with me INR Warfarin level being so low?

Still, on the bright side the haemorrhoids are not bleeding or too painful, I haven’t had a ‘Whoopsidangleplop’ yet today, no dizzy-spells and after the first forced involuntary messy evacuation the other ‘managed’ evacuations have not been as pungent.

Hello here it comes again…

I’m back again, Phwor!

Made another cuppa to quench me rabid thirst.

Now I know how convenient it is having the WC in the bathroom.

0505Updating the diary of woe and somehow managed to lose all me additional writings on me word processor.

I expect it’s something to do with catching the touch-pad that I cannot turn off – gets a bit frustrating and annoying that does, especially when you don’t feel to well. Huh!

Did some Face-booking.

Then worked on a Nottingham Lads Security True Tales of Woe and managed to get it finished and posted of to me blog.

The rumbling brewing and nervousness and expectation of involuntary movements remain.

Managed a pasty and some bread – hopefully it won’t bother the innards too much – oh dear, yes it will…