Inchcock Today – Mon 25 Nov 2019: Mayhem and confusion, and a fair bit of disillusionment! Worra rotten day!

1 Nov 25

2019 Tnov 25

Monday 25th November 2019

Croatian: Ponedjeljak, 25. Studenog 2019. Godine

0Nov 25

WDP 08R02aWD 0.0.5 01:35hrs: I woke up, feeling instantly depressed at the thought of having to go to the After-Stroke Physio session, knowing how it always gets to me mentally, as well as physically. Then I pondered, have I got the right bus fare? Then it dawned on me; it’s Monday, not Tuesday! (I’m quick, you know. Tsk!)

The regular first thing in need of the Porcelain Throne soon arrived. So I disencumbered my onerously-overweight body from the £300, second-hand, c1968, sometimes working, horrendously tatty, beige-coloured, rickety recliner. The one that xyrophobia-suffering Brother-in-Law Pete damaged, while he was flat-sitting when I was in the Stroke Ward. And he fitted new CCTC cameras, he erected a drone-landing platform outside and searched for my valuables, which he found and took (I still haven’t got them back yet six-months later).

I got my balance and the four-pronged walking stick and carefully wobbled off to the wet room. The evacuation, as it has been doing for a few days now, started on its own accord, was substantial and insalubrious, grungy, and messy again! I had a good clean up of the room, utilities, and myself, then made for the kitchen.

1Mon02

WDPT03LWD 0.0.5 The moment I turned on the hot water tap, hot water flowed from the tap (faucet) over the block and into the sink. Oh, dear! I’ll have to beg Brigadefuhreress and pole-dancer, ILC Warden Deana later, if she can inform the Nottingham City Homes repairs for me. I’ve already got to ask her to call the NHS Medicine team about the appointment they made clashing at the same time as the Podiatrist’s Sherwood Health Centre trip on Thursday. And the Police Pegasus Record people for me. I’m not going to be a very popular tenant again, bothering them! Mind you. That is if the gal is in today? If not, and she’s on holiday or working at another complex somewhere as holiday cover… I’m well-up the creek without a paddle! Confusion and depression were on the way, the EQ told me.

1Mon05I moved the handwashing onto the airers. I kept jiggling them about to get it to dry better as the morning went on.

I then got on the computer and started to get the Sunday post updated. But it was a slow and frustrating job today. The myasthenia gravis finger-ends were alternating between total and partial none-response. So, much time was lost in finding errors and correcting them repeatedly. This got to me, a bit, and my spirits sank somewhat. Having to go bothering people for help with the phones didn’t help much either. I always feel a hindrance to them. They seem so busy all the time. Which they are, of course.

1Mon 01WD 0.0.5 I’d nearly got the updating done when I realised that I had taken the morning medications yet! Tsk! So I made another brew and did so.

Back to blogging. Another hour or so, and I’d posted it off. Then put some pictures on to Pinterest.

Then I made a start on today’s post.

1Mon07The right arm, where I’d burnt it on the oven racks taking out Josie’s smoked haddock last night, began to itch, and I found it difficult not to keep scratching it. So I rubbed some Savlon cream on the little scars, this should ease off the itchiness! And it did, too! Any more medical help or advice you need, just call me! Hahaha!

I went on the WordPress Reader next. Then onto TFZer Facebooking.

WDP 11eLOff to the wet room for a wee-wee. And what a wee-wee it was! Of the MES (Marathon-Endless-Sprinkling) variety. I thought it must be time for dinner when it finally ended! It must have taken several minutes to trickle its way to a final conclusion. I think that maybe, had I used a receptacle to relieve things in, a teacup might have been too big! The pain, as well. Blimey!

I got the ablutions done, so I would have time to try and get down to the Oberuppehfureress’s Holding and Interrogation Cell office, and not be late in getting back for the Angel of Mercy Phlebotomy Nurse’s arrival. Which I didn’t want to be late or miss the beauty of!

1Mon06I got in and stripped off for the cleaning session, and boy oh boy, were the plates (feet) colourless! They were whiter and paler than I have ever seen them before! I could be dead here, and no one has bothered to tell me about it, you know. Hahaha!

WDP 02lb

WD 0.0.5 The day’s ablutions Whoopsiedangleplops are worth recording. Just for the sheer number of them! During my time in the wet room doing my ablutions, I considered giving up, moving to the Guinness home on Colville Court, Nottingham NG1 4HG. Where assistance is available 24/7, for just a few pounds more a week in rent… but realised there would be no point in moving again, I’d only take my bad luck with me. Suicide was not on the agenda. Just a pissed-offedness of 1Mon08mega-proportions. Anyway, how could one leave Jenny, Cindy, Penny, Mary, Gaynor, Margaret, Christine, Angela, Josie, Mo, Deana, Julie etc.. Not that I see them much, but when I do, it never fails to cheer me up. Back to the farcical wet-room session: Oh, the legs looked a little better today.

Ablutionalistic Whoopsies:

  • Dropped the toothpaste tube.
  • Clouted shoulder when bending down to pick it up.
  • Hit the other shoulder on the sink, getting back up.
  • Cut the inside of my mouth, when the autonomic nerves started the right hand shaking as I cleaned the teggies.
  • Dropped the toothbrush.
  • Dropped the razor, three times!
  • It broke on the third occasion, replaced it with the spare one.
  • Cuts on cheek, neck and the ear-hole acquired.
  • Dropped the carbolic soap twice in the shower.
  • Dropped the shower-head, it hit the knee on the way down.
  • Grabbed the towel from the hallway airer, and knocked over the machine.
  • The warmer gave out a little dull-sounding ‘Plump’ as it stopped working!
  • I hit my knee on the shower stool, fetching it back in.
  • Finally (I hoped at least!), I knocked the Sock Glide off of the chair as I lost the old balance a bit.

One of my more interesting, shall we say, shave & shower sessions that one was. (And saying that isn’t easy, Hehe!) Having got the spit and polishing up done, I hastened to get ready for the trip down in seeking assistance.

1Mon09 In the lift lobby, it looked as if the Mysteries of my beloved Woodthorpe Court. That lies somewhere between the twilight zone and a wormhole slipping through a tear in the fabric of space & the universal continuum, illusion, delusion, & hallucination, had been busy again? Haha!

I poddled along, the three-wheeler in front of me, and my mind all over the place. I arrived at the ILC’s Kamp Kommander’s Interviewing and Correctionalisationing Office. The three sweethearts were all in the room, busy catching up with their Tenants Monday morning problems moans and gripes, I should think. 

  1. WDP 02aLI explained my problems, starting with the Pegasus form to be filled in, and the silly bit of paper with the return address on, in need of guidance on how it supposedly works. Oberstúrmbannfhreress Warden Deana (Just a cognomen), knuckled down and helped out straight away. She filled in the form from details held on the Nottingham City Homes computer record for me. Then supplied a safer envelope for me to use for posting back to the Nottingham Police Headquarters. Thanks, Deana!
  2. Then, she tackled the problem of the two appointments this Thursday at the same time. The lady who will be calling from the Medicines Team, Leoni will call back to me later when she returns to the office. Thanks, Deana!

I passed the nibbles around, and Deana gave me the envelope to post. Thanked her and walked out to near the bus stop, and posted the form. I went over to the bus stop, and a lady who thought I was going for the bus, stood up let me have her seat, bless her! I explained that I had just come over to offer a ‘Good Morning’ to everyone. No one answered! Haha!

1Mon09aWD 0.0.5 WDP 02LcRI made my way back to the flat, taking a snap of the windblown al-fresco seating area in the drizzle. I noticed that the door was ajar. I pressed the green open button, and a chap came along to tell that I must not push or force the door! I explained to him that I did have to if I wanted to get outside! He repeated that it was a fire door – I pointed out that it is not like the doors in the new Winwood Court, that is how come there, is a green button to press, it does not open automatically, you have to push the door! That is what I have been told. He was not impressed; he just repeated that I must not force the door, tutted and went off in a huff! Humph! I don’t know who he was.

1Mon09bWDP 02lbWD 0.0.5 I got inside the flat, (09:40hrs) and found a note from the Phlebotomy nurse, who wrote she could not get me to answer the door at 0930hrs. Talk about bad luck in the timing. If it hadn’t been for the know-all bloke, who was wrong in what he said anyway, I wouldn’t have missed the nurse! Globdollocks and Rumbustiousness! 

WDP 14LWD 0.0.5 Now I have to ring the Sherringham Medical Practise Surgery. It ended up that I have to go to the surgery for my Warfarin blood test. The only slot they have left is for Wednesday at 11:45hrs. Just can’t be helped, though. Not with my rotten, horrendous, continuos, lousy, soul-destroying, heart-attack-prompting, pathetic, suicidal-tempting, crap, horrible luck! But, it doesn’t bother me, mind. Lie01a!

The doorbells chimed-out, and it was Josie, returning the things from her Sunday nosh. Happily, she said she loved it! Which, despite the Whoopsies, cheered me up a tad!

WD 0.0.5 Then Leoni, from the Medicines Management Team rang. To change the Thursdays double-booking with the Podiatrist, at Sherwood Health Centre. Cancelled Thursdays, and made one for Wednesday 4th December for 09:30hrs. Bless her, she made it nice and early for me! ♥

WD 0.0.5 Then the phlebotomy nurse rang me, making an appointment with me, also for Wednesday 27th November, but did not know what time it would be for yet!

WDP 4RI was now in a state of utter confusionableitis!

WD 0.0.5 My head was spinning – My concentration shattered – My will-power was virtually none-existant! – It was gone passed my head-down time! It had gone dark and dank, and the rain is falling slowly again!

And the thought of going to the miserable, pettiness and sarcasm-ridden After-Stroke Physio session in the morning is already lingering ready to grow and develop into a new depression…

WDP 03RWD 0.0.5ARGH! I’ve just realised, with having to stay in all day. I’ve not got the money for the bus fare in change for the rotten, unwanted morning! I’ll have to walk to the bloody-physio work-out now!!! That means two and a bit hours, so I’ll have to leave by 06:00hrs at the latest, and knowing my sodding luck, and the British weather, it’ll probably be raining!

1Mon14WD 0.0.5 Oh, so fed-up! I went to make a brew and think about something to eat. And the door chimes rang out again! It was an Amazon delivery! The mood changed slightly, still not happy, and even depressed, but a twinkling of hope came into my mind – “Aha, is this the Rice-cooker replacement lead! Hahaha!

1Mon13WD 0.0.5 No such luck! It was the monthly Mannen Lemon cream wafers that were being delivered! Ah, well, I should expect something to go right? An absolute, Shlimazel like me? Don’t make me larf!

So, I’ll have some of the quick rice later. Not all that later, I hope. Cause I’m worn-out and mentally drained now.

WD 0.0.5 1Mon11Hello, a noise from the door again, I’ll investigate. Fancy that, a load of junk mail had been delivered for me to enjoy! Well, that cheered me up no-end that did! A good job I live on my own, for the mutterings coming from under my breath, that was not to be repeated in any civilised company! The Houses of Commons, perhaps?

I had another look at the Google Calendar. Now, what needs doing? Ah, the surgery must be contacted, about the phlebotomy, or have they already been in touch with the nurses?

1Mon12

I feel deficient now. I imagine that the electric lead will be delivered tomorrow while I’m out unhappily being glared at and spoken of behind my back, be read to from a book. Listen to crap “You are walking along the beach, the sun is warm, and to paddle along the water’s edge…” or some such so-called relaxing taped talking, and hearing of other’s holidays to Asia, America, Australia. Their latest new car. Their families Christmas arrangements. Going through agony with the exercises from Arthur Itis, Anne Gyna, Maria Myasthenia Gravis and so on, leaving the… oh, I got carried a bit there. Sorry. 

I had to close down the computer, through over-fatigue (Mental I think).

1Mon22I got the handwashing done, wrung and hung. Got into the night-attire, and once the meal cooked and served up, tucked into it!

Cooked Turkey, RRQ flavoured rice, with chopped tomatoes and onions added. Some wholemeal sliced cobs, but I only ate two of them. Flavour-Rating: 7.5/10.

I got the pots washed, and settled in the second-hand, c1968, recliner.

I lay for a while, pondering on the things, well, the cock-ups that had come my way today. But did not get around to actually thinking-out any solutions or damage limitation. For once sleep came quickly, defying the mind-blast in my head!

I’m not sure how I got through today’s mighty, mayhem of macabre, morose, mentally-testing mishaps.

Inchcock: His Open Letter to Theresa May

WAK001Dear Theresa May,

Congratulations on beating the man you have just sacked from the Cabinet in the Tory leadership election.

I’d like to offer you the opinion of a rather uneducated old fart, who, incidentally much appreciates his pensioner’s bus pass, on a few of your selections for your new cabinet ministers. I understand his opinion is of no value or consequence, benefit or interest to you (Or any of your cabinet or MP’s), but the new growth in distrust of the aforesaid personages, has encouraged me to be bold.

Also, my not having long left to live, had a bearing on this decision too.

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WAK01Philip Hammond  Brexit Remain Supporter

New Chancellor of the Exchequer

Millionaire Hammond is worth around £8.8m but avoids tax after transferring property as a “gift” to his wife. This Essex boy has never had a proper paid job

He recently stepped in over ‘very disappointing’ plans by new Chinese owners to hike membership fees at Wentworth golf club. Long-time members of Surrey-based golf club have accused the new Chinese owners of using an eye-watering fee hike to get rid of them and turn the club into a preserve of the global ultra-rich. If he fails on this, you can always buy the support of Tony ‘I ain’t rich enough yet’ Blair and William Hague by buying them a two-year membership of the club. Although I’m uncertain if Hague’s wife Ffion is still a Barclays Bank Advisor, but as he and she he joined a lavish Italian trip, one of Europe’s most expensive hotels, where rooms costing £1,000 a night and paid for Barclays executives on a black day for global markets, I assume she will not give up these perks and of course the pay for being an Advisor to Barclays Bank: (£86,000 per annum, tax free?) You know the one, that the Tory Government rescued financially?  

MY VIEW: He is the second richest member of the new cabinet, with a net worth of £8.4 million, just under Lord Strathclyde with £9.6 million. Mr Hammond is said to have achieved his worth from stakes in a health care and nursing home developer and “consultancy work”.Within six months, he will be blaming the Brexit Leave Supporters for the country going broke. Only joking – am I? I wish him well and I appreciate that his lock on the front door of his third home costs more than my house did. I just wish he was not so rich that if he fails he will not suffer financially at all – just Jealous Theresa, yer know!

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WAK02Boris Johnson  Brexit Leave Supporter

New Foreign Secretary

Royal-blooded, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson (born in New York City to wealthy upper-class English parents in June 1964), Johnson was educated at the European School of Brussels, Ashdown House School, and Eton College.

Boris is, albeit, distantly related, to the present Royal family, and also to the Royal Houses of Europe, including the Swedish and Dutch Royal Families, as well as the Romanoffs.

So, we can see why you have chosen him to be your Foreign Secretary. Also and as well besides, we understand.

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WAK03Amber Rudd Brexit Remain Supporter

New Home Secretary

Who, as Energy Secretary who Labour claimed misled MPs about meeting mandatory EU energy targets on renewable power, is a buxom lass, and it is easy to see why Theresa has opted for her for her new as her new Home Secretary.

As Energy Secretary, she came under fire for failing to reveal close links to a top lobbyist in official parliamentary records. Under new rules brought in for this parliament, MPs must officially disclose all family members engaged in lobbying the public sector.

The Hastings & Rye MP, also Billed the taxpayer £173,367.16 over the 2014-15 period placing her in sixth place out of the 16 county MPs. She claimed the bulk of her expenses on staffing costs – £137,127.53– as well as £22,794.66 on office costs, £10,330.79 on accommodation, £2,854.18 on travel and £260 on ‘miscellaneous expenses’. So she’s cunning, greedy and not afraid to fiddle if given the opportunity.

Worked as a financial journalist and venture capitalist, after working in New York and London for J.P. Morgan & Co. So, she’ll be perfect for the position as Conservative Home Secretary.

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WAK04DavidDavis Brexit Leave Supporter

Brexit Minister Secretary

David Davis, the former shadow home secretary, who grew up on a council estate, spent more than £10,000 of taxpayers’ money on home improvements in four years, including a new £5,700 portico at his home in Yorkshire. 

The former chairman of a Commons committee that keeps tabs on government spending also claimed more than £8,000 for over 5,000 gallons of heating oil. Claims submitted by Mr Davis under the Commons’ additional costs allowance system show that he paid £5,704 for the portico – an open porch that normally protects a property’s front door from the weather – in July 2006. The bill was “to supply and install a new portico to front door entrance, new matching gate and frame to court-yard and six-pane window to out building”. The Commons fees office agreed to pay the bill two weeks later.

Mr Davis spent about £5,000 on home furnishings, including £658 to decorate his kitchen and utility room and £640 on a flax carpet for the breakfast room. In 2008-09 he charged £46.33 for changing a lamp in a floodlight at one of his properties.

In 2009-210 his expenses were only £ 109,146.

Davis was raised on Aboyne Estate, a council estate in Tooting, South West London. After attending Bec Grammar School in Tooting, London, he went on to gain a master’s degree in business at the age of 25 and went into a career with Tate & Lyle. Another non-working for a wage MP.

August 2013: Figures from the body responsible for parliamentary expenses show that the highest expenses claimant in Gwent was David Davies, Tory MP for Monmouth, who claimed £40,241. But the MP said that he had not seen a penny of the money and that the term expenses had been used for too long.

He’s going to have a ball now he’s in power int he!

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WAK05Michael Fallon Brexit Remain Supporter

Defence Secretary

The MP retrospectively claimed £3,521 for legal fees and hundreds more for mortgage interest charges and utility bills — all personally authorised by the head of the fees office. Mr Fallon had previously claimed £1,000 a month in second home expenses to rent a property in Pimlico, south west London. Mr Fallon said at the time: “This was an inadvertent mistake for which I accept responsibility. The fees office proposed that the overpayment should be offset by other claims.”

The MP added that all his other claims “were routine costs properly authorised and allowable at the time”. He began making the excessive claims after buying the Westminster flat for £243,000 in June 2002 and designating it as his second home. Various other household expenses he claimed for after September 2004 included a £250 per month cleaning bill, which Mr Fallon reduced from £300 after being asked for a receipt.

Between 2002 and 2004, Fallon regularly claimed £1,255 per month in capital repayments and interest, rather than the £700-£800 for the interest component alone. After his error was noticed by staff at the Commons Fees Office in September 2004, he asked: “Why has no one brought this to my attention before?” He repaid £2,200 of this over-claim but was allowed to offset the remaining £6,100 against his allowance. After realising they had failed to notice the excessive claims, Commons staff reportedly suggested Fallon submit fresh claims which would “reassign” the surplus payments to other costs he had legitimately incurred.

In May 2005, he claimed £499 for a television, £69.50 for a digital box and £35 for a radio. Mr Fallon sold the flat in December 2006 for £295,000, making a profit of £52,000. He claimed £1,774.50 in legal fees relating to the sale. In the two months before the sale, he claimed £126 for boiler repairs, £170 for repairs to bathroom tiles, £282 for electrical repairs and £225 for carpet cleaning. He then bought another flat in Westminster for £728,000. Soon after moving in, he claimed £1,795 for a bed, £1,500 for curtains and almost £1,000 for a freezer, washer-dryer and deep cleaner. The claim for the bed was reduced to £1,000. He then began claiming the interest on the mortgage for his new flat, which came to about £2,100 per month — almost three times as much as at his previous property. Mr Fallon also shares a large house in his Kent constituency with his wife, Wendy. The house, which the couple bought in 1997, is about 28 miles away from Westminster. It is not mortgaged.

Mr Fallon is also paid as a director of three companies. His salary from one, a money broker, is reportedly £45,000. He also pays his wife from his taxpayer-funded office expenses to work as his secretary.

Fallon, is a board member of a leading brokerage firm that dominates the rates market and which has been asked to co-operate with the Financial Services Authority’s investigation into malpractice across the City.

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WAL01Liam Fox Brexit Exit Supporter

International Trade Secretary

In a less shameless world, Liam Fox’s career would have ended in 2011. Or to give him his full title, the disgraced former defence secretary, Dr Liam Fox.

In March 2010 Fox appealed Sir Thomas Legg’s decision that he had overclaimed £22,476 in mortgage interest payments. Fox immediately repaid the money, then appealed the decision. Fox’s appeal was rejected and the decision was upheld by Sir Paul Kennedy, a former high court judge. Fox stated that his decision to remortgage his second home to pay for redecorations and claim the higher interest repayments on his expenses represented value for money because he could have charged the taxpayer for the decorating bills directly. In his response, Sir Paul Kennedy stated: “What you claimed was not recoverable under the rules then in force. I entirely accept that, like many others, you could have made other claims if the fees office had rejected your claims for mortgage interest, and that you may well have spent some of what you raised by increasing your mortgage on your constituency home, but the evidence is imprecise, and my terms of reference only allow me to interfere if I find special reasons in your individual case showing that it would not be fair and equitable to require repayment, either at all or at the level recommended.” This reportedly made him the Conservative Shadow Cabinet member with the largest over-claim on expenses, and as a result, he has been forced to repay the most money.

It was reported in June 2009 that Fox claimed expenses of more than £19,000 over the last four years for his mobile phone. Fox claimed the high bill was due to regular trips overseas, in his capacity as Shadow Defence Secretary and said he was looking for a cheaper tariff.

In October 2012, the Commons Speaker blocked the release of data showing which MPs were renting their homes to other MPs for financial gain. However, a study of parliamentary records was published in the Daily Telegraph. The study showed that Liam Fox receives rental income from his London home while simultaneously claiming rental income from the taxpayer to live at another residence.

In October 2013, Fox hit the news again, after documents showed he claimed 3p for a 100-metre car trip a year earlier. He also made an additional 15 claims of under £1 for car travel approved in 2012–13, two of which were for 24p and 44p. He told the Sunday People: “I don’t do my expenses. My office does them. But they are all done according to the rules for travel distances.

During October 2011 Fox’s relationship with a close friend, Adam Werritty, attracted extensive media attention and eventually led to Fox’s resignation. Werrity, some 17 years younger than Fox, had been best man at his wedding, had lived rent-free in Fox’s flat, and been involved with him in business and in the conservative Atlanticist think-tank The Atlantic Bridge. While Fox was Defence Minister, Werrity had visited Fox at the Ministry of Defence on many occasions, had accompanied Fox on numerous official trips, attended some of his meetings with foreign dignitaries, and had used official-looking business cards which said he was an “advisor” to Fox, all despite having no government post or security clearance. The media raised questions about Fox’s judgment in allowing this to happen, the nature of the men’s relationship, and the source of Werrity’s income.

Fox is a registered shareholder of the medical educational firm Arrest Ltd. His estimated wealth is £1.7 million.

Fox accepted a £50,000 donation from Jon Moulton, whose investment firm, Better Capital, later went on to own Gardner Aerospace, an aerospace metallic manufactured details supplier which includes component parts for both military and civilian aircraft. This potentially exposed Fox to conflict of interest but neither Fox nor Moulton violated any rules with this donation.

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WAL02Jeremy Hunt Brexit Remain Supporter

Health Secretary

Since first being elected to government in 2005, Hunt has been involved in a string of scandals which when put together outshine some of the bigger scandals on this list. Yet somehow the impervious MP has gone on to be rewarded with ever more responsibility. Here are some instances where other MPs and the public have called for the Teflon-coated minister’s resignation:

  1. · In 2009, he was forced to repay £9,500 of taxpayers’ cash after allowing his election agent to live rent-free in his subsidised home. This was after he had also breached the rules for claiming for a property that was his designated main home.
  2. · In 2010, it was discovered his former parliamentary assistant had been given a civil service job. The assistant was the daughter of a Conservative life peer who had also been the director of Hunt’s company.
  3. · In 2010, he apologised after suggesting hooliganism was to blame for the 1989 Hillsborough disaster.
  4. · In 2012, it was revealed he was a tax avoider (something Cameron said he would not tolerate) after dodging more than £100,000 in tax in a property deal.
  5. · Again in 2012, close links were discovered between his office and Rupert Murdoch’s company News Corporation. Hunt, at the time, was handling the company’s bid to take over BSkyB. It was found Hunt and his advisors had communicated sensitive information to Murdoch.
  6. · In 2013, the British Medical Association said he displayed “complete ignorance” after saying he thought the abortion limit should be changed to 12 weeks.
  7. · His expenses featured: 1p for a 12-second phonecall, £75 on five candles, £700 on signs for one of his houses and a whopping £3,180 on stamps, envelopes and labels (in one year).

Why is Hunt again in the cabinet? Labour leader Ed Miliband once said “it beggars belief” but maybe it has something to do with Hunt’s support during his buddy David Cameron’s leadership campaigns?

A definite bad move from Theresa, if she is wanting to regain the confidence and trust of the voters… but I don’t suppose she’s bothered about that!

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WAL03Chris Grayling  Brexit Leave Supporter

Transport Secretary

Chris Grayling has claimed £104,183 of taxpayers’ money over six years for a London flat – even though he has a family home just 17 miles away from Westminster. And neighbours said they “rarely, if ever” see him at the Westminster flat where his postbox is packed with unopened mail.

On the eve of becoming an MP in June 2001, Mr Grayling, 46, paid £127,000 for the one-bedroom flat in a six-storey block, which has views of Westminster Cathedral and is only a short stroll from the House of Commons. But a local estate agent said the value of properties in the block had soared to between £210,000 and £330,000, despite the recession.

Our inquiry sparked claims from MPs last night that Mr Grayling  would trouser a huge profit from the London property market,  largely thanks to taxpayers’ cash. Mr Grayling is allowed to use his additional costs allowance (ACA) to pay for and furnish a second home – either in London or his constituency of Epsom and Ewell. Between 2001 and 2007, he claimed a total of £104,183 under the ACA – close to the maximum possible claim over the period of £122,710.

In 2009, Chris Grayling promised to sell his London flat and repay any profit to the taxpayer. There is no record of this repayment. Numerous requests for information from Grayling’s office have been met with a blank refusal to provide any further evidence. It’s quite possible the payment was made. The records we have are incomplete, having been destroyed under Commons rules. But his office’s refusal to provide any evidence of it suggests the old arrogance of MPs is reasserting itself as memories of the expenses scandal fade.

Just after the May 2005 general election, he claimed £4,250 for redecorating and £1,561 for a new bathroom. The next month he claimed £1,341 for new kitchen units. The month after that he put in a claim for another £1,527 for plumbing and £1,950 for further work.

He got himself caught up in the Fox/Werritty scandal.

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WAL05WAL06Priti Patel  Brexit Leave Supporter

International Development

Her expenses in 2014 were £152,000 plus.

She employs her husband as her Office Manager on £50,000 a year.

On the IPSA granted MPs pay rise of over £7000, she did not comment on whether she would accept the rise or how she felt about it. But she did.

She once worked for lobbying firm Weber ­Shandwick, whose clients included British American Tobacco – the makers of brands like Dunhill and Lucky Strike. Patel then moved to Diageo, the British multinational alcoholic beverages company, and worked in corporate relations between 2003 and 2007, earning hundreds of thousand of pounds. While the company paid workers £15 a year. In 2014, she accepted a £2,000 donation from a tobacco supplier HT&Co (Drinks) Ltd .

The MP for Witham, supports the death penalty too. In the past she’s professed admiration for Ayn Rand, told reporters: “Murder should never be an alternative to an honest day’s work, which is why I’m strongly in favour of a reintroduction of the death penalty for low-earners.” She added, “A £100,000 earnings cut-off would ensure the most important members of society are not executed, and would also provide a deterrent for the poor and workshy who would rather be housed in jail to save money.”

… I’m sorry, but I can’t write and research anymore… I’ve depressed myself…

Inchcocks Further Thoughts on Politicians – in Prose

Slab InchyNCCwalk03

Further thoughts on Politicians

There’s not many that haven’t had an illicit love affair,

They are experts and tutored in spouting lies and hot air,

They dance around giving answers like Andy Capp or Fred Astaire,

Most Ministers have never worked, or known financial despair,

They fiddle expenses, get a pay rise of 9.6%, that’s so unfair,

They say the IPSA sets their salary now, they declare,

But they set the wage of IPSA of £40,400 per manager…yea?

And grant the IPSA expenses; of this the part-time IPSA are aware,

The rot set in with the crooked nihilistic, nepotistic Tony Blair.

Most are millionaires too, jealous… me? Now where’s me bus pass?

Cameron, and his cronies will never worry about the cost of gas,

Despite his cabinet consisting of a cruel men, an inertial mass,

PMs a group from superior stock, all unethical, bold as brass,

They are not caring, they are cruel, pitiless and crass.

_

They ought to hypnotised into being honest en mass,

They’ve taken away my few benefits, ‘cause I bought a pension,

Paid into it for fifty odd years, worse off now, makes you laugh,

It’s the weak they prey on, ignore, laugh at and harass!

Not for workers or pensioners, warmth, good food or an au pair,

I can’t afford a holiday or even the petrol or train fare,

No BUPA for me, just the ailing NHS hospital care,

The NHS staff are harangued and frustrated, but they really care,

MPs strut and pose, well fed, clothed, looking debonair,

While pensioners are struggling, broke, in utter despair,

They have their earnings from bribes and many an offshore share,

They sit in central heated offices, in their reclining chair,

Of others poverty, frustration and pain, they seem totally unaware!

Bless them. (Spit!)

NCCwdog

Inchcock Political Party Shadow Ministers rethink their Manifestos!

Cabinet

Rachel Carrera says:

We must fight on and not mewl, it’s the voters that were the fools, following the main party like mules!

Shirley Blamey says:

Extreme policies we must overrule, I’ll do the job just give me the tools!

Angel says:

It’s the greedy politicians we must attack and ridicule!

Marissa Bergen says:

We need Punk-rock, in the home, on public transport and the vestibule!

Mike Steedenski says:

We must legalise hemp, marijuana, and the absinthe soaked toadstool!

Danny Soz says:

Everyone should hire a vehicle from my VAT free car-pool!

Inchcock says:

Bring back hanging for Pavement cyclists should be the rule!

Gazza H says:

Remove Inchcock as our leader and use him as a footstool!

Dunc the Hunk says:

When I went to school, I lived on gruel, Gawd life can be cruel!

* Gazza asked me to point out that no Shoplifters, Pavement Cyclists or Members of UKIP were harmed in the production of this load of rubbish.

Why Did the Inchcock Party get No Votes?

Statements from Inchock Party Members in their failure to get any votes in the May General Elections.

Raving reporter Dunc the Hunk interviewed some of the remaining members of the party to get their views on the abject failure.

IPgcInchcock:

Following the highly surprising result in the May General Elections – the fact that our Inchcock Party got no, nil, keine, nema, acune votes at all, may have electors perceiving the wrong message. It does concern me that our standing members failed to vote for themselves somewhat.

I think the supply of Rumanian lager and Irish Vodka I’ve obtained should encourage members to stick with the party and try again perhaps?

IPdannysozDanny Soz:

Wot? We ain’t failed mush! I’m drawing up a new manifesto now.

We is going to bounce back with a vengeance.

Unlimited immigration, free lager for the under 18’s, close all the prisons down, make smoking Golden Virginia compulsory and ban UKIP.

IPRachelRachel Headturner:

The elementary and fundamental causes of the Inchcock Party’s failure in this election can be attributed to the nepheliad-like leadership from Inchcock himself.

He set out to vote and ended up at the hospital haematology department, caught a bus to go back to the election booth and realised he had got on the wrong bus. Got off of it and caught another into Nottingham City centre.

Where as he approached the bus-stop to get to his election ward to vote he was arrested for feeding the pigeons in the city centre.

By the time he was released on bail the voting booths had closed down!

I ask you, how did we stand a chance with that ‘Whoopsiedangleplop’ prone pillock in charge.

I will be making a challenge for the leadership of the party in readiness for the next elections.

IPshirleyShirley Shazaam:

Unfortunately I was decorating the new house when voting day arrived.

I was getting on tremendously well until I came across Mike Steedenski in his chair watching the TV and having a drinkie-phoo, and had the devils own job of moving him so I could get to the fish aquarium to paint it.

He slid into a stupor and slid off the chair you see… this enabled me to get some of the emulsioning done on one end of the fish tank, but as I was just finishing that, he stirred and tripped me up causing the paint to go all over the new carpet and he was sick on it.

The ambulance arrived and managed to remove the paint-roller from his rear end, and by then it was… oh… sorry, what was the question?

MikeReadMike Steedenski:

One election day, there I was deep in concentrating on the election results on the Adult Channel when the missus foolishly came near me with the Chinese produced Ukrainian emulsion paint we got from Lidl. She knew I wus allergic to the fumes and I passed out, spilling me Absinthe and cherryade drink.

Despite it being her foolish actions that made me topple over and the wench she seemed annoyed with me – and attacked me with the paint-roller as I was coming round. Women eh?

Still it’s a shame about us missing voting cause I was in the A&E having a certain cavity checked for any damage caused like.

Still I can go back to me Traffic Warden job.

IPAlienoraAlienora Funbutt:

The intricateness of analysing the cause of the Inchcock Party failure lies within the confusion brewed within the politically accepted pedegorisation of acceptable failures as opposed to the correctionalisation of tactical preparation and responses as one would expect.

The exoticness is plain to see, and further development of positionally adopted autonomous actions would not necessarily tremefy the party’s leadership, but rather encourage a new more agreeable standard and a much more acceptableness and understanding of the needs of both electors without grandiloquence. And then we could start having raves on a regular basis to replace party seminars. We still might not win – but it would be fun!

Big Gazza:GazLogo

I think that we were perhaps always never not going to get any votes yer know. Hic!

The sooner they bring back the cat and genuine pork scratching the sooner things will not get no better if not worse!

Further Thoughts in Rhyme on the General Election May 2015

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General Thoughts

Can’t see any of them throwing me a bone,

Each cheats like the others, each one is a clone,

Every one of ’em gets on my axone,

None of them has any moral or honest backbone,

Many MPs can’t control their own testosterone,

All of ’em like to blow their own trombone.

Backhanders?

They get backhanders and this has been shown,

Banks give ’em cheap mortgages, or a no interest loan,

A classy mistress or a second home in Sierra Leone,

Free nights out to first nights show – with chaperon,

Wealth and free amusements are not unbeknown,

To Barclay’s bank a lifeline of billions was thrown,

Not surprising, with the Barclay’s shares they own.

Molestation

They’ll not worry about prosecution when their hands roam,

For in this fowl trend they are not alone,

This their fellow members seem to condone?

No need for the others to depone,

Seems like all of them to this habit are prone!

Employment

While they let some lucky voters work at the grindstone,

Others are left to abuse alcohol and the Methodone,

Osborne and the like, never been in a work zone,

Silver spoon raised, they were never alone,

Rich parents and Eton were their cornerstone,

I had neither… but I don’t like to moan.

NHS

Private hospitals will always mend their cartilage bone,

Not for them an operation to postpone,

Cameron strutting round like Al Capone,

Determined to destroy the NHS I bemoan.

General

They lie to us every time in a superior tone,

To nepotism they are all very prone,

They seek adulation to sit on a throne,

Out of Government they should all be thrown!

Ode to the UKs Political Leaders

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Who should you really want to vote for?

Who will make you more frustrated and poor?

Can any of them be trusted any more?

Will they all send our soldiers to war?

Will they copy Maggie and the nihilist Blair?

They’ll all make your blood boil and want to swear,

Fiddle their expenses, unhindered without a care,

Honest politicians? You haven’t a prayer!

Their chrematistic nature we’ll have to endure,

Their ego, lying, cheating and cunning for sure,

They lie cheat but never get shown the door,

Should we shoot one now and then to level the score?

They seek wealth, adulation and utter power,

A set of dishonest, distrustful folk this shower,

Getting more greedy by the day… the hour!

Free from prosecution in the their Ivory tower.

We’d be better off trusting a herd of Gnu,

Their greed you just cannot subdue,

Their growing wealth needs a judicial revue,

It’d probably be done by Osborne’s Uncle too,

As Con-men go, UK MP’s are the best, it’s true!