Local News Snippets: Part 74⅛th

However…

Things looked decidedly cheerier here!

To keep the upbeat tone: Here are some scumbags that have been taken to court. To collect the amusing, non-deterrent, laughable sentences from Magistrates and Judges

Hassan Ali, 25, Criminal Damage. £120 fine, £200 compensation and a £34 victim surcharge.
Nicolette Attenborough, 33, was fined £120 and was ordered to pay £85 costs and a £34 victim surcharge for assault.
Dylan Jackson, 26, was ordered to pay £85 costs, a £34 victim surcharge and was disqualified from driving for 16 months for drink-driving and for driving without insurance or a valid licence in
Darren Snowdon, 37, was jailed for 12 weeks and was ordered to pay a £125 victim surcharge for assault and criminal damage.
Dennis Nolan, 61, was jailed for eight weeks, suspended for a year and was ordered to pay £150 compensation for criminal damage of a glass windowpane and door.
Herroll Smith, 46, was jailed for 26 weeks and was ordered to pay £150 compensation for entering M Cuts & Shave Barbers, in Uttoxeter Old Road, Derby, with intent to steal a Stanley knife.
Tommy Maughan, 37, was fined £40 and was ordered to pay £20.60 compensation, £85 costs and a £34 victim surcharge for stealing £20.60 of items from Tesco.
Lee Goddard, 31, was jailed for 4 months and was ordered to pay a £128 victim surcharge for two counts of breaching a restraining order in Nottingham on November 8 and 23, 2021. The offences saw him breach a suspended sentence imposed on October 21, 2021, for five counts of breaching a restraining order.
Antony Bilson, 32, was fined £40 and was ordered to pay £85 costs and a £34 victim surcharge for breaching a criminal behaviour order.
Blaze White, 30, was fined £120 and was ordered to pay £85 costs, a £34 victim surcharge and was disqualified from driving for two years for driving without insurance or a valid licence.
Jordan Fearn, 22, was jailed for 12 weeks and was disqualified from driving for three years and was ordered to pay a £128 victim surcharge for driving while disqualified and without insurance.
Andrew Selwood, 55, was fined £40 and was ordered to pay £110 costs, a £34 victim surcharge and was disqualified from driving for six months and had his licence endorsed with nine penalty points for eleven counts of speeding.
Chloe Smallwood, 29, was fined £40 and was ordered to pay a £34 victim surcharge and had her licence endorsed with three penalty points for speeding at 36mph in a 30mph limit.
Tayyab Hussain, 24: Fined £91 and was ordered to pay £110 costs, a £34 victim surcharge and was disqualified from driving for six months, due to repeat offending, for speeding at 43mph in a 30mph.
James Rawson, 48, was fined £440 and was ordered to pay £110 costs, a £44 victim surcharge, a driving ban for six months,
James Bannister, 37, was jailed for 12 weeks, suspended for a year and was ordered to pay £85 costs and a £128 victim surcharge for stealing trainers and a swatch.
Michael Karim, 36, of Standard Hill, in Nottingham city centre, received the sentence as part of a group jailed for a combined total of 167 years for the role they played in a cocaine gang. Which equals an average of 6 years!
Orvil Brown was locked up for five years after he was linked to an international drugs ring that posted large and valuable amounts of cannabis and cocaine to flood the streets of Nottingham.
Reuben Woolley was jailed for three-and-a-half years after setting fire to his flat and hitting an emergency worker with a metal bar.
Kelly Williamson, 57, was jailed for five years and three months after being found guilty of conspiracy to supply cocaine.
Orvil Brown was linked to an international drugs ring that posted large and valuable amounts of cannabis and cocaine to flood the streets of Nottingham. He was jailed for five years.
Joanne Duke coaxed her way into an 81-year-old’s home before threatening him with a knife. She was jailed for seven years.
Robert Davies, 32, was sentenced to 26 months in prison and must sign the sex offenders’ register, be subject to a 10-year restraining order and a sexual harm prevention order.

We, I can assure Sam, that he couldn’t have been looking,
When I worked in Aspley, the criminals had me weakening!
I had difficulty finding anyone honest… folks were wrangling…
Mind you, the locals were all on an excellent nattering…
But they might pick yer pocket, then give yer a battering!

My shop was broken into, the Police didn’t seem to be bothering,
Gave me a crime number and didn’t bother returning…
The chap in the flat above got a bottling…
But cheap sex was always offering,
You’d get it free if you’d got any Methamphetamine!

Fights every night outside chip shop – bloodcurdling!
The Police would always attend… but not until the morning!
Ten-year-olds raided the chemist for Dextromethorphan…
That’s Night Nurse® or cough syrup, Triaminic™, or Coricidin™,
We had shopkeepers some get-together, meeting…
That usually ended up with us all pissed-off and drinking!

Two eighty-nine year-olds!

Sickening! I pray they can catch the culprits. This has got to me, I’ll not bother doing any more odes, not in the mood. Cheers.

Cheers.