Unguis Incarnates

INCHIE TODAY: Saturday 11th February 2023

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It is now Sunday morning at 01:35hrs. I’ve had a bad day with the concentration, mind-blanks, a tumble, and the mind has not been my own.
Worrying, which comes oh, so easily nowadays, has played a big part in my Saturday sadly-sinking morale. The arrival of the 2nd food order in two days brought on feelings of guilt and shame. Shame that I cannot seem to be logical about anything at all.
This afternoon, when I made a snack and was washing up the few pots used, Weariness-Willy walloped me. I could do nothing but get sat down and drifted into a deep sleep that even the daymares did not spoil – for while dreaming… the usual, distorted things from the early years, somehow I knew I was dreaming and was pleased that I was sleeping. Had Doreen’s Dementia played any part in this catastrophically depressing, mind-wandering Samstag?

First photo of the day. Followed later…
By three more.

Wash and nearly dressed. No trews was put on. I’m not going out anywhere, so a relief for the and me!

The accidentally ordered food arrived…

Porridge and noodles stocked up!

Special Prices on Surf.

Fridge overloaded.

Battered Sticks on offer.

Hello, I’m wee-weeing well!

Then came the mind blank, the big one.
The Carers came, but I can’t recall much or who.

I had a snack of sorts

A pot noodles, and a pot of potatoes.

Weariness-Willy Attacked.
Turned off the computer and
did as the body told me to… I

Woke many hours later and arrived
to destroy my daydreaming. This is when I think I.
waffled on a bit. But maybe not? Yes… I did!

Got back on the computer.
Went to make a brew..

Took some night shots; I’d missed the sunset

Humph!

I went back to the computer and saw signs of my
having been nibbling rather a lot in the bin…

How could I do that and not realise it?

I worked on this blog for several hours.
It was suddenly… to me, 03:20hrs!
Where did the day go?

Made some nosh.
It was horrible!

Got down in the c1966. charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner.

The legs and ankles were looking much improved.

Put the TV on, anything with subtitles…
But it was not needed. Around 04:00hrs, I drifted off into the land of blissfulness and peace.
But, as tired out as I felt, Sweet Morpheus mocked me and woke me up with a jump and jerk several times. The Git!

TTFNski Each!

INCHIE TODAY: Thursday 9th February 2023

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I woke up (I do that sometimes, you know) a little later than I intended to, but Sweet Morpheus allowed me to fall back asleep again earlier.
I got the Night Pouch off and collected the things I’d amassed last night in readiness (blimey, I sound so organised this morning… don’t I?)  and the wee-wee bucket to empty and sanitise and hobbled painfully (The sole of the right foot) to the wet room to do the  . Which were slow and painful, especially the stop to utilise the .

acci-whoopHowever, I had an FND moment when I got around to dressing…
I actually believed that a person was standing next to me!
I didn’t recognise her; she didn’t talk but just melted away into the ether as I got over the shock and turned to look at her.
It was so real, I looked around for her. The door was closed, and at that instant, I had an out-of-body experience that lasted only a few seconds… this is impossible, of course, but in some way, I felt I was watching myself and was not myself, but someone else.
Weird!

Carer Richard arrived, but I didn’t tell him what had just happened. I felt such a fool and too embarrassed, too! And here I am now, telling the billions of tellurians and my vast amount of followers on WordPress about it! Still, my legions of followers are both decent lads. Hehehe!

Poor lad looked all in, shattered at the end of his long shift.
It’s a fact that when the chap takes off his glasses, releases long, noisy yawns, and falls asleep while I’m talking to him, he needs his bed! (Only joking!) A grand bloke & Carer.
Not that it stopped him from sorting out the medications for me.
Then he departed; after checking the taps (faucets) & stove.
I hope he’s not coming down with anything! And his
insulin level is okay. He’s such a nice lad.

I rushed to get the Thursday blog finished and posted it.
Then it was time to get ready for the visit to the Coppice Hospital.

All dressed in the outside gear. Today is the first time I’ve worn trousers for about a week or more. With problems, it’s rather painful being trousered. So, fingers crossed that today’s little trip out will not agitate the situation in the lower regions.

I got down in the lobby, with ten minutes to spare before the lift from the was due. We took the long way around this time.
Still got there in plenty of time, though. I was dropped of in the car park and made my way to the reception door. A lady came to let me in, and by the time I’d adjusted to a comfortable sitting position with , the nurse arrived and said follow me. Through the corridors, but I nearly lost her; she was fast! The sole of the foot and dangling tubes from the catheter slowed me down. The lady mentioned that I had not brought my carer with me, and why not? I explained that last time because it was my first session, hate carer helped me out by coming with me, and that’s why he was so sleepy. I couldn’t ask him again. Fair enough, she said.

No messing, sit down, and the Q&A session began. It took a similar format at first as the last session. I think I was doing as well as last time. Then the drawing, writing, telling time and mathematical tasks were done. I feel I did well on the words, naming animals, people etc. The maths buggered me, though, as is usual.

The next hour or so is just a haze.
I remember having to check the , as I thought it was getting fuller, pulling on the tube and poor Little Inchy.
The lady said; Finally, what can you remember about the first test you did when we started? I thought for a while. (Hoping something would trigger the brain), but no, I had no idea. This had obviously happened before. The lady tried to help, and an example: Was it Brian Douglas, Johnson or Smith? I had a guess. Then another tip; Was it Milton Close, Avenue or Road? I guessed. Was it number 72, 44 or 39? Aha! I got that one. It was the number of my flat! Was it Dorset, Falmouth or Dorchester? I guessed!
Obviously, the names here are made up cause I can’t remember them.

All done; no idea how I did, but felt okay, and as I walked back to the reception,  the pain from the sole of my foot was much easier.
There was a wait of about 50 minutes for the Easy-Link to collect me.
But I had not taken the crossword book and pen with me. So I sat quietly in a too-low chair… Oh, I’ve remembered I missed something that happened in the session: I told the lady I had made a list of unusual happenings and handed her the notepaper… She handed it back to me; I had taken the list I’d made for the visit to the doctor. I rifled through my pockets and found the one I wanted to give her, and gave it to her. She asked a couple of clarificationalistical questions, and it was not mentioned again.

So, there I was sat, sitting in the chair, and… Zzzz!

As I woke up with a jump, the lady from the reception was coming to me; she had seen the Easy-Link Minibus arriving. Walked out with me to have a word with the driver about something. We were soon back at the flats, quick route taken, gave the driver a choice of drinkies from the cans from within the three-wheeled walked bag, thanked him and got indoors and up to the flat.
Phoned Meridian Care; to let them know I was back home.

Started to cook some food, and the sunset caught my eye. I wasn’t throwing the eye, Haha!) Over the half an hour I was cooking, I took four photos with the Fuji camera (It’ll need six new batteries shortly; it is an old camera, but highly appreciated). It was given to me by Carer Richard when the Canon camera crapped out. Now the new Lumix has bit the dust, and Fuji continues to work but is too big to take out with me.

I thought did a fairish job.

Then one of the houses below.


Eerie one this?

Arrived, and we decided not to add the yet, as it was only 20:00hrs, and @I need to make my meal. Which is dodgy with a walking stick and carrying the tubed catheter pouch at the same time as prepping food.
I was working on this blog at the time and knew it would be hours before I got the meal. Although, I got it prepared and in one saucepan to make it easier to get served up. I’ll try to fit the bag myself later.

Hours later, it came to now. I’ll get the nosh sorted and then the flipping added on… I hope.

I’ll be back in the morning to finish this off. I hope!

I made a bigger meal than planned. Ate most of it.
Flavour Rating: 702/10.

Then, I to .
It was a painful experience. This simple task left me with , , , , and even the kicked-off, with a vengeance. And, apart from that, I had been doing so well with the lack of ailments today. Humph! I even pulled at the inserted into Little-Inchie’s tubing and started stinging and the .

I’ll try to remember not to add the night bag myself again. It’s not worth the pain and lack of sleep this caused.

GETTING TO SLEEP – Hah!
I suppose, looking back, it was rather comical, really, all the same.
After fiddling with the tubing in Little Inchie, adjusting the Protection Pads down to avoid contact, and finally finding a position that was less hurtful…
Then of all things came into action!
Which moved the tubing, bringing back the twinging pains and started the Fungal Lesion leaking again! I went all the adjusting things rigmarole again.
Having nearly found a more comfortable arrangement...
I then needed to utilise the .

I gingerly rose, Catheter Night bag in one hand, walking stick in the other, and hobbled to the wet room. Git there in time, at least. The evacuation was another of the gushing, watery, messing, pongy jobs. You know? One of them uses up half a toilet roll to clean things up afterwards?

After stemming the bleeding, cleaning and medicating, I returned to the ÂŁ300, second-hand bought, c1968, nauseously beige-coloured, not-working, rusty, rickety, crumb-holder of a tatty recliner; and went through yet again, the process of finding a less painful position to settle into.

had calmed down, but unfortunately decided to have a go at me.
Early hours of the morning, I was almost at the point of drifting off at last…
There was a loud dull thud from the flat above.
I pondered and worried over this; Is the new tenant who moved in taken a fall? It was no good, I just had to go up and ring their bell, just to see if he or she was alright…
I struggled painfully out of the ÂŁ300 second-hand, c1968, cringingly-beige-coloured, not-working, rickety recliner and caught my balance. Put the hearing aids in so I might hear if I got any reply when I rang their bell.  got the stick and was about to go to the hallway… fearing the worst, I just had to know if they were okay and get help if not.
Then I heard music on TV, the radio playing. So it seems whoever is up there is okay. Which was a good thing.
 Back into the second-hand, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, microorganism-microbe producing, gungy, moth-eaten, beige-coloured, non-working, bacillus encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, c1968 recliner, and once more went through the getting into a comfy position routine for Little Inchie and the .

Then moments later, I realised it was time to get up for the Iceland delivery anyway… And to think I looked forward to retiring and having a life of peace, rest, pleasure and comfort!

!!!

TTFNski!

INCHIE TODAY: Wednesday 8th February 2023

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Be interesting seeing how they change the catheter. Take my Warfarin Blood Sample, Drain the nest sticky DVT vein, and inject me with Enoxaparin. I’m looking forward to having the next stroke. Hehe!

As I bounded back into imitation life, I remembered I have no  Lumix Camera to use. I tried to last night on the meal and sunset. So, today it gets ignored.  Boy, I’m glad Carer Richard gave me his old Fuji camera. I’ll get some batteries in it. I’ll give it a go later.
I removed and . During which, I observed, felt and swore about that agony the sole (Just under the toes) of my right foot was in! Another new ailment had arrived! No name was given to it, cause I pray it is only going to be a temporary one.
The toes were pale and white, and the boot and ankle looked almost light brown.
When I wriggled the toes, only three of them moved? When I stood up, my balance was all over the place, and the pain, just from the one foot, I classed as a 3-rating. Later in the day, it did ease off – until the evening, around 19:00hrs, then it returned? I was hobbling somewhat.

Carer Richard Came to sort the medications. He told me today was the replacement day for the . I hadn’t any idea… the damned is not easing off. I’ve got the second assessment tomorrow afternoon at the .
Oh, that reminds me, I looked up the FND thought.

Functional neurological disorder – Findings

Functional neurological disorder (FND) describes a problem with how the brain receives and sends information to the rest of the body. It’s often helpful to think of your brain as a computer. In someone who has FND, there’s no damage to the hardware or structure of the brain. It’s the software or programme running on the computer that isn’t working properly.
The problems in FND are going on in a level of the brain that you cannot control. It includes symptoms like arm and leg weakness (Yes) and seizures (No). Other symptoms like fatigue or pain (Yes) – are not directly caused by FND but are often found alongside it. It can cause a range of symptoms, including Problems walking (Yes) – heaviness down one side (Yes) – dropping things (Yes) – feeling like a limb isn’t part of you (Yes). I’ve got all of them. If you have FND, any scans you have will show no damage to the brain to explain the weakness.

Well, I can’t read these above on here, but the spy-glass helped me to. Caused a spell of depression as well afterwards.
I’ll not learn anything about it tomorrow, it’s just another assessment, but in a week or fortnight, I have the first Brain Scan.

Doing the , I had an . I managed to fit in an . No real harm was done.

and I think it was called. The notes on the pad when I got around to doing this bit were of no help at all. A Scrawl!

I must have had for ages; cause hours of the day had been lost. I put this on the list to tell the nurse tomorrow.

I got the batteries in the Fuji camera, and it worked a treat.

I did an order for Ocado for next Wednesday. Then the Asda order that I’d forgotten all about arrived.


The kind driver took them into the kitchen and got them where he could manage to; there was not a lot of room in there.
Damned decent of him.

Anywhere was alright with me.

The guilt… the Guilt! Haha!

Aha, got some washing-up liquid this week.

And to aid my following the nurse’s repeated commands and instructions. I’d got many bottles of spring water in.

Did the evening medicationings.
I waffled on a bit, sorry mate.

Rang to confirm their lift for the afternoon tomorrow. Nice!

Got some sausages and made sarnies with sauce.
Too tired out and stressed to bother making a meal.
Wanted to get it done and eaten before the last
Carer calls to put the on and medicate me. Hehe!
The meal was okayish. Say, a 6/10.

Carer Richard arrived. Did the tasks needed. Had a mini-natter… well, moan from me. Haha! Richard checked the taps and stove, then took the waste bag with him as he departed.

Zzzz!

INCHIE TODAY: Tuesday 7th February 2023

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Today’s Ode from Inchie

Sorry about this…

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The days started painfully – I needn’t have said that, had I? Hehehe!
The darned Lumix Camera was still not letting me take any photos!
Although, in the afternoon on what must have been close to the 12th.
try-to-get-the-bloody-thing-going; When I received some
official-looking brown envelopes mail, it did.
But it wasn’t bad news!
 & were with me on awakening… I’d be lost without their little morning greetings.
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The day of memory loss, disappointments, getting little done, 80 40 0 lurgy, (Particularly her!), a few confusions of attacks via and a few bursts of feeling for no particular reason whatsoever. As per usual,  made what should have been a better day worse.
The Lumix playing up ruined any idea of a decent day’s photography.
Yet apart from the odd depressions, which didn’t last long, but there were a good few of them, I seemed to press on regardless.

Carer Richard Arrived during one of my ‘up’ periods. Not that I can recall much. And why not? I’ve literally lost the notepad I’d been using for over half of the day. Likely thrown out later when I got the shock of the letters arriving. I reckon we had a natter and a laugh. I think he reminded me to ring Easy-Link to confirm the lift was arranged for Thursday’s visit to the Coppice Hospital… but that could have been yesterday.

Carers (I think) Sam called. Then Carer Charly. She took some photos of the Sunset. I tried the Lumix again, and it let me take one shot!!!
I may have worn it out last night in taking so many shots of it?
Hahaha!

The thicker envelope delivered was opened first.

Aha! An appointment for the first Brain CT scan had arrived. It’s for Friday, 24th February… I’ll just recheck; hang on… Yep, it’s for 2023.
Luckily, Carer Sam, I think it was who collected the mail on her way in, read it for me.
The print was a little small, and Cataract Katie is getting worse every day.

The picture of the CT machine,, was just like the one the QMC A&E took a scan of my bladders last month; it was just the circle bit…. or was it the month before?

I remember falling over in there, trying to get my leg up and over, so they could get to the bladder.

The map of where to go was even smaller in scale.

A long list of things that need ‘Special Attention’, included Diabetes and Neurological Conditions. Of which, I have.

I must remember to ask Richard if he can make a list of anything changed in my ways to take with me to the nurse at the Coppice Mental Hospital on Thursday.
I keep forgetting to ask him. Or have I asked him yet?
Worra-life!

I managed to get through the Easy-Link people and got the lady with the voice that suited my ear-holes. Checked and confirmed that I had booked a lift for Thursday at the Coppice and then made one for the 24th for the Brain Scan.

The other letter was telling me I had failed to attend the Doctor’s to have an INR Blood Test and had to do so urgently. I must contact the Doctor to book an appointment immediately. Well, being as they have been coming to my flat to take it for two years now, I assumed they were going to continue to! Also, as well as, besides that, No one told me anything? Does the nurse’s striking have any effect on this scenario?

Now, if I snuff it via a blood clot or stroke, heart attack, or bleeding to death… according to the unknown because it’s not been taken level of INR is too high or low – if anyone reading this can investigate for me, please.
Naturally, you may not find out cause I’ll be dead, won’t I? I’ll be busy at St Peter’s Gate logging into whichever department they send me to. I’m hoping St. Peter doesn’t want to send me back to try again? That would be horrendous… one lifetime of misery is enough for anyone. I shall refuse to go back, and if he doesn’t like it… well… I’ll sulk! Hehehe!

Better get some nosh sorted out, then.
Which I did – no photo, of course; the Fuji needs new batteries. Tsk!

Too tired, to continue.

Evening all!

INCHIE TODAY: Monday 6th February 2023

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I got carried away today… No, not the undertakers or men in white coats to blame. Har-har! It was a moment of freedom granted to my mind by VDD; Vascular Dementia Doreen. A cunning trick on her behalf to give me more grief, and it fooled and lured me into spending half an hour or so of heavenly pareidoliaing as the sunset faded for the day. And I took many photos of its progress, Bootiful! (Further down never the bottom of the blog.

But and however, she made me pay dearly for my moments of contentment. While viewing, photographing and admiring the beauty of Mother Nature through the kitchen window…
I’d left the hot tap running. And dangerously accifauxpa-temptingly held in the evacuation that was brewing; So as not to miss the last photos as the darkness fell – But I had to rush off to the Porcelain Throne as things in the rear-end were starting of their own accord!
Naturally, I failed to make it in time. Another mess to clean up! Which I did as quickly as I could to get back to the photographicalisationing.
Which is when I noticed the hot tap (faucet) running. The water was cold by then. But the real pisser of them all? I missed the dawning of the darkness to picture. I do believe I swore vociferously!
Ah, well, on with the diary…

Up at about 06:40hrs. I think the shock of a certain organ being extended, thus giving me great discomfort with the catheter, helped get me up and into wakefulness of sorts. 
I got the night pouch disconnected.

Went to wash the tube end, and the moon was still in view, so I snapped it wide and closer.

Not very well, mind.

Unbelievably, the day bag had reloaded with clear wee-wee.

I soon got it emptied.

Carer Richard arrived. Medications were given, and he reminded me of Thursday’s visit to the Mental Health Coppice Hospital. Now I must remember to ring Easy-Lift to make sure I have booked a lift. Before it is too late to do so. (Of course, I forgot to do it). Richard checked the taps and stove for me.

Ah, a bit of blood in the urine now. But it cleared up later.
I caught the tube earlier, and it may have ripped the fungal lesion a bit. It hurt like hell. (I did this three more times in the afternoon and evening)

I received an email from Lisa at the Rehabilitation and Falls Service (South Locality). She is a caring lady. Asking many questions, which I probably went into too much detail in answering, now I think of it. But I answered them all. Bless her.
Carer Sam arrived. Meds and safety checks were done.
I was working on making mistakes, errors, misspellings and forgetting things on the blog.

Carer Kara called. Always helpful, that gal.

Teatime, I went to make a brew, and the sunset photo farce began.
Here are the photos in the order they were taken; some zoomed in and some not. There are a good few; sorry if they bore you.

But I love them, even if they did cause the Porcelain Throne and tap to be left on scenarios. Hehehe!

I took a couple, one of the car park, the other of the houses, to break up the monotony for you.

Then back to the sky…

Then I had to tend to the Porcelain Throne farce.

Air Fryer tried
Carer Richard arrived; good timing on my behalf. The frier-timer had about ten minutes left to go. Richard let me make the meal before he gave me the medications and put the night pouch onto the day bag for me. He took the waste bags with him.
The chip putties were consumed with some tomato ketchup.
The letdown (I usually get one of these regularly) was that the Lumix would not work for me at all. Well, it gave me a blank screen. I’ll try it again in the morning… but my hope is not high.

Haben Sie einen guten Tag!

INCHIE TODAY: Fri 3rd/Sat 4th February 2023

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Good morning!
Although it was not a great start to the day. There followed some great and careful help from the District Nurses. But the morning Carer did not show up.
Ups and downs throughout the day. Betterer than yesterday.
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So far behind, I’ll have to just do the few that I photo’d. And miraculously found memories from the chronically badly scrawled notepad.

CATHETER.

A blown bag of out-of-date chips burst open.
I enjoyed cleaning them up.

‘Red sky in the morning – Shepherds Warning!

The pouch fills up quickly.

0845hrs: No Morning Carer Yet. Blogging.

09:15hrs: No Morning Carer Yet.

Decided to take the antibiotic tablet, just in case they do not come at all. (They didn’t) The Doctor said yesterday it is important to take them apart in equal time periods, morning &evening.

District Nurses came to replace the Catheter. I mentioned that no carer had called yet to give me the medications. I was assured that they will be coming. With it already being 11:00hrs, I was not exactly confident about this. They did a good job with the painful (to me) job of extracting and inserting the new tubing and catheter. Working well straight away.
Thanked them and insisted on them taking some treats by way of a thank you. Off they went, and I returned to the slow frustrating job of working on this Thursday’s IT.

The new catheter was working well.

11:45hrs: No Morning Carer Yet. Blogging..

Carer Kara arrived later. I thought she had been up to the neck in it and was coming late from the early call, but no. She was not late. This was her mid-morning call. I explained about the antibiotics and my having taken them to keep the important timing right.
Kara gave me all the other medication that should have been issued earlier.
We had a little natter as she checked the taps and the stove and took the waste bags with her as she departed.

Tea and porridge, and I watched some TV for a break from computing.

Getting darker earlier.

By gum, changing the catheter has worked as a real treat.
Thanks to the two nurses. They sent two because
they didn’t believe last week’s crew when they told them
how tiddly Little Inchie really was. They do now!

I came over all tired and weary, just like I did the day before.
I was so far behind with everything, but I  had to just leave it
and get my head down. I was suddenly shattered!

GC sleep

Interruptions permitting!

I was soon in the land of nod. Zzzz!

But not for long, for I felt the weight of the catheter pouch as I moved into a more -friendly position in the c1966 charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner.
I’m glad I did, cause as you can see above, the new catheter was flowing smoothly and persistently… which is good! There were only the very faintest signs of any blood, as well.

I think it was who came again. It may have been, and it could likely have been . Or, . I was so deep in sleep that I could not see much at all cause both eyes had fogged up; I couldn’t hear anything, whoever it was said, and with the ever-present ogre of…

Plaguing me in my current half-conscious state, I fear I recall but nothing of the Carer’s penultimate visit. Whoever it was. I assume I was given the medications. I did not as I remember getting out of the ÂŁ300, bought eight years ago from the second-hand shop, Harold Haemorrhoid testing, repugnantly beige-coloured, crumb containing, virus-breeding, acne-giving, rickety, none-working recliner, for the whole visit.
In fact, did it happen? Was I dreaming? Was someone toying with me in my ultra-sleep mode? Was I drunk – I don’t think I drank any alcohol. Unless it was in an out-of-body experience in my somniferous early evening temporary hibernation with Sweet Morpheus?
Fair enough, I had been nibbling; the proof of that was the two four-pack biscuit wrappers I found crammed up my sleeve later. More of the nocturnal somnambulistic activities I seem to involuntarily enjoy?

I was struggling to stay awake throughout the gal’s visit.
And was soon back in the dreamland within seconds of the Carer leaving. I was totally done for, tired, drained, and shot! To make things worse, I was aware that with all the visitors, and my lackadaisicalness, I’d not even started the blog off yet! I foolishly allowed myself to imagine I’d get up later and give it a go. It didn’t happen! I wasn’t feeling good at all.

I was not hearing, seeing, or understanding what was going on.
And this is the second day of these experiences.
I look back now, and a dreadful fear of not coping with Doreen and the ailments, and thus going into a home, scares the shit out of me!

Another deep, preciously removing the worries, fears and uncertainty of life. Bless Sweet Morpheus!

Shortly, and far too quickly, I was woken by the door chime. And in came the sweet Carer Sarah. Her mission? To giveth me medicationalisationings, and, and had soon for me, and set about and to the day pouch.
On this rude awakening, thankfully, I was nowhere as out of it as I was on the earlier visit. I was definitely more responsive after I got over the shock of getting up too quickly. The eyes & hearing are still bad, though.

Sarah got the night bag fitted on. She emptied and washed the bucket from emptying the day catheter. Did the medicationings, and we had a little chat. She read some of the dates on the food in the fridge for me too.
Bade her farewell at the door, and I locked it.

Then I decided to make a meal. Huh!
One-handed, with the stick and night bag tagging along.
It was a mistake.
The meal was fine, but the mess I got into making it left me bruised and a mess all over the kitchen!


acci-whoop

Eating away, enjoying the flavour, I dunked one of the cobs several times.
Getting the second one, I broke it open… the greeny-yellow mould spewed out, and it fell with a splonk into the dish, tomatoes and ersatz franks!
That was the end of the meal!

SATURDAY 4th FEBRUARY 2023

ANOTHER HORRENDOUSLY TIME-CONSUMING DAY.

A SPARSE PATCHY EFFORT TODAY FROM INCHIE, SORRY.

The catheter contents were locking mighty colour!

Up, Porcelain Throne, wash, and got a mug of tea and the last pot of porridge. Sob!

Care Sarah arrived, and she helped me clean up the spillage I’d just made when the blown bag of seasoned chips blew up! Hehe!.
Pouch checked. Little natter.

Hours of blogging until the almost-expected weariness and mega-tiredness arrived. After that, I was drained and not good at anything.
(I seem to remember my Dad telling me that?).

Burnt the stew that I was making. Left the kitchen hot tap running.
When it warmed up in the PM, I left the damned hot water running in the wet room! Not a good day, and it got even worserer!

Sinking towards frustrated depression here! I went to put the photo’s on this blog, and can it be? They were not there on the SD card.

Then, for three days now, the mind went into muddled mode.
Honestly, worrying this is. As I recall, I was washing the pots for the eventual meal I’d made for the second time…

Which wasn’t too bad.
I found myself in the spare room, picking through my socks and seemingly sorting them? I carried on separating the short ones from the long ones for ages? It was like it wasn’t me, but a film I was watching?
It has to be said Doreen Dementia is winning here!
How do I explain this to the nurse next Tuesday; when she does the follow-up interview? Should I mention this or the following farce to her at all?

I actually left the junk room, and I started to make another meal!!!
Until waking up on Sunday morning, everything was a blur.
Ni idea who or if a Carer came, but the night catheter was comfortable, so I~ think either Sarah or Kara may have tended to it.

I am now fretting over things.

TTFNski

INCHIE TODAY: Thursday 2nd February 2023

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

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Due to circumstances beyond my Dementia, physical capabilities destruction, frustrating lack of control of my body and brain… Well, it sounded good to me. It’s true! Hehe! And the visit to the Doctor, which is just a blank in my mind now. Thanks to Dementia Doreen, I have never been so confused in my entire life about what going on around me as I do this morning (Friday); Time forced me to limit this Inchie Today diary. That old killer, ‘Time’, forces me to do this, Hope to be back to the old format later. Broken sleep dominated the day – as was being demanded from my body and brain!

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Today, mostly stolen from memory, distorted and warped by the avaricious, covetous, cruel Doreen Dementia, and hassles and complications from the

I’m only putting in what I think I know happened today.
Up and in the wet room to tackle getting the ablutions done in readiness for the visit to the Doctor. Lift arranged with the Easy-Lift charity, volunteer drivers and a reasonable charge.

This session went fantastically well. Well, apart, that is, from the controlled evacuation. Not so much a torpedo, more like a nuclear submarine! Hahaha! But no bleeding with it.
It felt so good to get a shave, shower etc., after so many days of inability to do so. But, this and the medicationalisationings, then dressing was timed. It took me 2hrs-25minutes! The longest ever! But at least I’m still doing it on my own. The main reasons were the catheter, extra time shaving, my not having had a shave for days, and the struggle.

I’m dreading it hewn Doreen gets worse, and I have to pay for some carer to clean me. When it comes to this stage, I don’t think I could cope with the, and perhaps , maybe even still having a catheter fitted as well, frightening! As the ever-present oink  ruling the roost, I would not want to cope. Of course, it’s going to come. Not that I expect to be aware of it. So I decided to try and make the best of things until then.

Lost the plot there… off subject again. Sorry.

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Emptied the brilliant-looking urine, not a sign of any blood!

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Made a brew, and I took this morning’s view, too!

Carer Richard Arrived. A little vague on this visit for some reason. Maybe we talked of things that worried or concerned me, and I went into denial mode and filed memories away from my own grasp? But this happened later in the day at the Doctors and is a new trait that conceivably I can expect in the future?

Got the outer clothing on and readied to go to catch the lift. I checked the taps, heating, stove etc., and then I rechecked them.
Down to the lobby. The Easy-Link minibus arrived two minutes later. And ~I was on my way to Carrington and the Sherrington Park Medical Practice. The fiver dropped me at the entrance; I thanked him and went into the surgery with my EQ telling me this would not go well. Naturally, no details, He sometimes gives a type of upset, jealousy, fear, greed or something of that nature as a guide for me. He was right!

Worryingly, a ‘Haze’ Came over me when the man spoke to me when I got into the room with him. EQ was talking gibberish to me in the background throughout the meeting? As I said, this was worrying!
No idea why or what caused this, but I spent the rest of the day in this state. Utter confusion, what the hell was going on? Was all I recall thinking?

Bits and pieces of the session remain, but others are vague and mixed up in the ether of my brain. I may not have these memories in order, but they are all I came out of the hour-long meeting with, and I’m the least confident about actually having happened.

❶ I’ve got to stop taking Ibuprofen.
âť· Something about letting me have some Haemorrhoid cream.
The Doctor consulted, and she said I didn’t need it?
❸ He wants me to take the BP twice a day & record it for him.
âťą I’m sure they issued a prescription electronically for some anti powders. I mentioned that I could not fetch them today as I had an Easy-Link picking me up. ‘Why can’t you?’ He asked. ‘Because they cannot digress from the arranged route, or they are not covered by their insurance, you see.’ I replied. Your Carers should fetch it then.
âťş The only other bit I recall is telling him about the problems with the catheter, but he stopped me, ‘You must talk to Urology about that. Phone them; the number is in the book and on the web!’

I departed, and got an Easy-Link lift home at a reasonable price, thinking clarity would return once I got home. It didn’t!

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I took this photo when I made a brew of Glengettie.
I’ve no idea why, but it may come back to me.

My body was demanding sleep all of a sudden. I agreed and got the clothes off and the dressing gown on, and with drooping eyelids, I got into the ÂŁ300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, Harold Haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable from, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner, and was in a deep sleep very quickly.

The carer came to give me Peptac and Paracetamol.
I was soon back asleep. Zzzz!

The Night Carer, Sarah, I think it was, came to put the on to the day pouch.

But; Houston, we have a problem…


The rubber attachment on the end of the , was longer on the end of the day pouch? So the gal could not possibly even try to have . Without her fitting a new day pouch. Which is not on her remit. The gal was a little concerned about what to do. I settled her nerves and told her to leave it. Hopefully, a nurse is calling tomorrow to check the new catheter; and may change it for us.

I nodded off again. Up around 01:30hrs to make a meal.
Food balancing on my belly,
Wobbling on my knee,
I turned on the telly,
Contented gastronomically,.
Again, I felt sleepy…
There was no stopping me…
Zzzz!

I woke at 041:00 hours, still feeling tired.
Had to empty the pouch and use the .
So I stayed up.

GC why

Fat, fatigued, frazzled, fearful and fed-up!

INCHIE TODAY: Wednesday 1st February 2023

/ Inchie / 4 Comments

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PROBLEMS ALL DAY LONG!

Total mayhem-problems with the .
I’ll try to explain what they were chronologically. But with so much and farcical situations arising, I did little else all day. Trying to sort out getting the flow to the bag again… and even worse problems. As I hope you will read about; I need some good luck through the ether to me, so I can cope with them a little easier and not get frustrated so much. Not many memory notes on the pad. It all happened so persistently.

I woke feeling myself for the first time in months, peeing away merrily… I thought I was dreaming at first, but no!

The blood and urine mix was all over my clothes, body, and the ÂŁ300 second-hand shop bought nine years ago, c1966, discomfiting, alarmingly beige-coloured, crumb-containing, TV remote hiding, not working recliner.

The flow was so vicious, that the Protection Pants were soaked, and legs, socks, feet and slippers were covered in blood.
I got the night catheter off first; no point in cleaning up and making more mess straight away… Huh!

Aha! I’ve found some scribbled notes – hard to read, but I can use them for updating here and there. Seems I got up at 03:00hrs. And took off the night pouch and visited the , the first of several in the morning. The first three were practically normal evacuations; the next three were sticky, phooey and messy!

Sorted out the mess of the pouches and got new Protection Pants on.
I just had a smashing phone call from the Lovely Lisa-Petal ♥ and Billum 👍 in the US of A!
I fear I was a little not up to much when the call came in, and I had great difficulty in hearing everything that the Sweetheart said.
Damn it, we lost the signal. But it was fantastic to get the call.
Lisa & Billum are my Cyber-friends and are much loved.

The needed attention all the time.

Rising, things looked okay

Removing the night bag

One of the emptying sessions

Carer Richard arrived. The bag problems were all I had to show interest in. I was a smidge depressed – but got to the stage of Dracula Depression later. The constant changes in the bag’s performance riled me.
Richard got the medications done and checked in the right leg bag.

Carer Sarah was the next visitor. Got the medications sorted.
Then the great cock-up with the Catheter Bag!

I emptied the blood again…

But the flow from the catheter was not getting through to the bag

The blood still flowed from little Inchie.
But, nowhere near as bad.
Unfortunately, my trying to get the tube further into the Little Inchie, it irritated the Fungal Lesion. Added to my having to bend and stretched so much to clean things up, the Mystery Stabbing Pain in the Ribs returned.

A damned good job. I’ve got a good supply of Depends in stock.

PHEW!

The Catheter pouch suddenly filled up in fifth gear time!

Boy, it was full!

Emptying the bag was difficult, with all the blood clots.

Carer Kara arrived. I told her of my problems.
She wanted to know if I wanted the night bag fitting or not.
I farted about and dithered on whether to.
As I saw it, with little blood and urine going into the day bag again,
it should be okay; with my doing the blog until the early hours, it won’t matter about missing sleep. I’ve missed that much already. (Sarcasm Detected)

Going to get this posted off and get some sleep if I can.

TTFN

INCHIE TODAY: Tuesday 31st January 2023

/ Inchie / 6 Comments

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Well, well. Another messy day of pains, panics and failing, falling, spiritual aspirations… and a constant battle with the flaming, flipping, ruddy, scary
Urine is much bloodier.

A sudden fill-up nearly caught me out!

Extra painkillers imbibed.
Thanks to the urine & blood not going into the pouch,
and settling in the bladder.
EEEYooowOutch! Is the word.

Carer RichardUsual care is taken. Medicines issued. Spoke of the unbelief of us both that I am not in the hospital having the blood clotting looked at.
Checked the taps and cooker and took the waste bag to the chute.

I spent hours on and off today trying to get the blood clots in the tubing through to the bag. Dizzy Dennis visited many times. The constant bending down to the tubing is the cause
Also, because the urine could not get out, I suffered such pain all day long. This is not going to help at all.
Fiona from the Falls Team rang. Asking if the antibiotics had arrived yet. I told her no. She or the Nurse will be calling tomorrow. I must be firm about telling her of the stomach pains, blood clots and Little Inchies agony.

Called. Soon off after a little one-way natter.

Late morning photo.

Asda Delivery arrived

Again, not a lot for the money spent!

The fridge was looking well stocked now.

Had to constantly squeeze the tubing into the catheter.
The and backed-up bladder full of blood clots and urine was wearing me down. Well, the pain from them was!

Sister Jane rang and we had a natter. She went to the hospital last week, and they said she needs a cataract operation. It will be a few weeks, they told here… A few weeks? I’ve waited after eight assessment appointments over the last two years before getting the go-ahead… and am still waiting? Is this Postcode Prefferality? Could it be because they live amongst the ‘Posh’, and I amidst the ‘Rough’? Hehehe!  Only joking. Jane & Pete come under the Rushcliffe Borough Council, me? Nottingham City Council.
Jane is suffering from her sight badly now. Fingers crossed that she can get it done soon. Me? As usual, I’ll just wait. Har-Har!

This new day pouch is just not getting its due supply of urine. It just stays in the bladder infecting everything else in there, and then occasionally, not very often, it fills up with a rush when I can get the blood clots through.
Still, it’s bloodier, so redder, and gives me pretty patterns to look at.

A new-to-me (I think) Carer arrived tonight for the big medicationalisationing.
After the gal departed, I started to make a mug of tea and had to limp smartly to the Porcelain Throne. By gum, this session was different! For the first time in many weeks, Trotsky Terence had surrendered his command of the evacuations over to Constipation Conrad! Hard as the torpedoes were, there was no bleeding at all from the rear end.


I was chuffed with this nice change. Got back to the computer and spent some time urging the blood clots through the catheter. Thought I’d make a brew of tea and found… I’d left the hot tap (faucet) running!
Oh, I do annoy myself at times!

An hour later, the red blood in the urine was turning back to the brown colour it has been for the last four days.

Caught a photo of the end of the sunset...
Then started to make the meal of the day.

Ersatz bacon, spuds with some BBQ sauce, and tomatoes.
Flavour rating 803/10!

Carer Richard Arrived for the final call of the say, well, night.
Over the last hour since emptying the Day Catheter bag, not a drop of liquid had gotten through to the pouch?
Richard got the night bag attached, and very slowly, the flow began. More an occasional drip here and there. Back to the brown this time. Still had to shake the extra tubing and squeeze the thick, clotted blood through at times.
The stomach/bladder was aching again.

Got this blog finished off, around 01:30hrs.

INCHIE TODAY – Sunday 29th January 2023

/ Inchie / 2 Comments

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Inchies Ode Today was inspired by Timothy Price Photographer extraordinaire and Jolly Good Cyber-Mate

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It’s been an… erm, er… well. an interesting month so far.
I’ve been given a rubber wristlet for DNR (Do Not Resuscitate). A Diabetes rubber wristlet. These will decorate my wrists along with the On Warfarin, Allergic To Clopidogrel, Hard of Hearing, and the new last week, Dementia alert bands. The Cataract – Vision – Impaired one has not arrived yet.
I’ve checked the box of the options on the Doctor’s letter. In answer to the Question: Where Would You Like To Die, at Home or in a Hospital?

Now after the initial rushing me into the hospital when I woke up with blood coming from Little Inchie and the Haemorrhoid-ridden rear end.
 I think this was four weeks ago. The Paramedics took to the QMC, A&E.

Where the medicos must have forced two gallons of warm water down my throat to get the wee-wee flowing through Little Inchy, as opposed to Catheter Cathy’s Contraption. I had the catheter put in and taken out about six times, which for me with Phimosis and the Fungal Lesion – not to mention having the smallest willy I’ve ever seen (I’ve seen ten-year-olds with a bigger one than I). This is why the in and the outing of the tube were so painful for me. And it really was testing my pain limit… mind you, it still is at this very moment. I was on the computer and listening to the new tenant’s TV blasting away upstairs. (I assume. He or she might be getting the flat sorted, which accounts for the occasional clunks and thuds. Herbert Mark Two? Haha!

No problem, though; I’ll get used to it. Just take out the hearing aids.
They did bladder scans, and some on a big machine. But gave up and sent me to the City Hospital Urology Department. Patience Ward Two.

Where Patience was at a premium. Urology was just as baffled as the QMC staff were. They had the catheter in and out over the next day, at least eight times; despite gulping down at least two gallons of water, getting to use Little Inchie for wee-weeing was a failure. They (Urology) summoned me back to have a… I’ve forgotten what it was called now.

Ah, I’ve got it now (just looked it up on the Internet). A Cystoscopy, a CT scan of the urinary tract, and a urine culture. Still, no reason was found, so the catheter has now been on for about 4-5 weeks. The walk to the Doctor, half a mile at most, took me nearly two hours! I had to keep stopping cause the pain was so bad. I got the surgery, told the Doctor, and hose said: “Talk to Urology”. It’s great to be so cared for, innit?
Anyway, since the tumble I had getting on the trolly at the hospital, week one: I had another fall. Week two: two Accifauxpas. Week three: Just the one; it wasn’t a bad one. Week four: Three tumbles, and two, one seriously,  walking-into-solid-objects. The wet room door, and then the junk room door frame. Which started and produced a , that had me over – but I fell on the two bags of laundry that has not been collected. I’m glad they were days late now. Hehehe!
Today, the wee-wee into the bags seemed a little better. I reckon I’ve emptied the around ten times! And the blood in it was far less than yesterday’s was.
Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? Maybe… perhaps!
The attaching did not take place. No Carer arrived to attach it for me. I believe they were struggling with staffing problems and possibly the hospitalisationing of another tenant. No bother, I kept waking up overnight anyway, and I remembered to check the small day bag each time. Emptied it three times. No sweat!

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With all the nocturnal activities of emptying the pouch, I didn’t get up until 07:30hrs. Little sluggard! The was at bursting point, I managed to get it emptied before any disaster!

arrived as I was making a brew. Got the medications sorted, and he helped me ready the bin bags for him to take. Said how busy he was. Thanked him profusely.

 I left the hot water tap running again!

The pain from Little Inchie was still bad and stayed that way all day & night. and cobblers!

then Came at teatime.

Late morning view.

and later came.

Hyper-One Again.

Mid-Morning views.
A lot of white cars?

Catheter emptying. Nice and like colour this moring.


Magnificent Sunsetting this evening!

Catheter is ready for emptying.
Is that a twinge of blood in there, I see?

Sunset bying down…
Eerie colours changing…
Still beautiful…
A minute later, the last blast from the dying sun…

Looks like a two-tone of blood in the Catheter…
That’s a better piccy.
But look at the blood in it!!!
Argh!

Started emptying it – rich red blood…
Looks to be thinning at the end…
Almost bubbling now? Can you see a cat’s face in there?

Starting to make the evening Meal and, Carer Richard arrived.
He was looking fitter tonight but not a happy laddie. But soon cheered up when he got the new night bags to put on the day pouch. These ones had the plastic grip so you could hang them up. Sorted the medications, and we had a little chinwag. Np putting the world to rights, but we did manage a bit of cheer for each other.

When the night bag was on, the blood started to flow in dribs and drabs.
But, oh so slowly.
The long extension tube often stops the flow, and I feel the build-up in my bladder, and have to shake the blood through.

Richard showed me how to use the Air-Fryer, and he put some alphabet potato letters in it and left to get on with his other jobs.

Fifteen minutes later, the fryer gave out a ping that, luckily, I was in the kitchen to hear. What an alarm timer with one ping, and that was my lot!
The potato letters tasted great, all crispy on the outside.
The spuds I did in the slow cooker. The tomatoes were just about acceptable tastewise (Italian, not good this time of year). And the ersatz mini-franks were surprisingly excellent! Soya based methinks

Got this blog finished and posted off.

TTFNski, EACH!