Most uncomfortable sensation of failure in the dreams
Monday 7th August 2017
Sindhi: 7 آگسٽ آگسٽ 2017
0425hrs: Woke thinking of the nightmare come dream I’d been suffering, what seemed seconds ago. Scribbled down bits I could remember to write here later.
Out of the £300 second-hand recliner and into wet-room to utilise the Porcelain Throne. Which went extremely well. No bleeding now, from Little Inchy or Haemorrhoid Harold at all. Although, I had to smile when the toilet block I added to the cistern yesterday, bubbled right up to the rim when I pressed the flush lever. It was still present after I’d nipped and got the camera to take this shot. I think I might have put two blocks in by mistake? Hehe!
I certainly felt a lot better than last night, and the depression had gone.
Made a strong mug of Yorkshire Tea, did the Health Checks and took the medications as I started the computer.
Not very happy with the weight increase over the week, though.
All else looked okay to me?
Craig Cramps and Arthur Itis were both being nice to me.
Finished off the Sunday post and finalised the weeks Health Checks.
Took a break and popped out on the balcony to take these shots.
It had been raining a bit in the night, but the wind was low this morning, glad to say.
The Car Parking must be a nightmare for the residents as well as any visitors and the workmen on site.
The view to the South was as appealing as ever, I like to try and identify the buildings on the horizon in daylight.
Mentioning nightmare reminded me to have a look at the dream notes on the pad.
I reckon that it consisted of all the different things I’d got wrong in all the workplaces where that I did get them wrong.
Machinery seemed prominent all through, which is something I did struggle with at the time at Carters pop factory after I got promoted from the cleaning operative to Zone Controllers position. I would have liked to stay in the Hygiene team, but they privatised it. I knew there, I was capable of doing any task demanded. The Co-op managing days tormented me, and some of the dilemmas and altercations I’ve had when on Security were in there. Yet, oddly, not memories of when I got shot, knocked out, bitten by dogs or stabbed were in it? Just my inabilities, failures, fears and mistakes? I do not want another dream like that, ever, thank you very much!
Back on the computer. Checked the Emails and did some WordPress reading.
Then Facebooked a while, taking into consideration that I had to watch the time so I could get ready to catch the L9 bus. Meaning I had to start the ablutions at 0830hrs to get them done in time to catch the first bus at 0930hrs.
So much to get through on Facebook, I decided to catch the later bus.
0825hrs: A shaking shuddering in the flat! It was the workmen on a gigantic hole driller or flattener, judging by the sound of it, thumping away, between the two blocks of flats where they are preparing groundwork to build the third block, of smaller luxury apartments. Out of view, so I could not get a photo. But I kid you not, the computer and my belly shake every time whatever it is clamped down. Who would have thought it would spread all the way up to the top of the flats? Just hope it doesn’t loosen any of the concrete!
Ablutions tended to. Gathered the things needed and set off to catch the bus.
Many folks at the stop, but no time for a chinwag, as the bus arrived on time and caught us all off-guard. Hehe!
The City Centre was a mass of traffic. So many works were taking place everywhere.
The Broad Marsh bus station had been closed for demolition, and every corner of the streets had a new bus stop to replace those lost, and mayhem ensued!
Traffic lights out at the corner of Milton Street and Upper Parliament Street with temporary lights, for sewerage work. With no stop/go lights for pedestrians. (Fair enough, the Nottingham populace ignore them anyway).
Interesting Nottingham Post video of the 
works, showing the new buses. Click this link to see the mess: Traffic mayhem in Nottingham
A chap had been knocked over at these lights, and of course, the ambulance and police had a devil of a job getting through to him.
To the City Centre and the beach entertainments, the atmosphere was one of tension and discontentment.
Nobody was smiling much, no one interested in the amusements and the Nottingham Beach only had three people on it.
Walked through and down Exchange Walk to St John’s Church.
Even the flowers at the stallholders display on the Walk were withered and well beyond their best. (Behind the depressed looking Nottingham pedestrians).
I hobbled on down and through to the Broad Marsh Car Park (As was, it is closed now, creating more traffic problems) and along Carrington Street to the Canal.
Where I had planned to feed the large variety of ducks, Mallards, Canada geese, etc.
But the seed, bread and mealworms were left in the bag. Not even any pigeons, let alone ducks in sight? Over the bridge, there was the usual array of Nottingham Street Art.
I went to call at the Nottingham Citizens Advice Centre about getting help about finances, to find it closed.
Feeling a bit depressed myself now, I hobbled back to the Slab Square.
Even less fold on the beach now.
Had a window shopping session in the mall, then, foolishly perhaps, I wandered down to the M&S food hall. (Fatal for the finances that! 
Huh!)
Spent a fortune. I did treat myself to a new ready meal. Cheese and bacon (Both of the two ½-inch pieces of bacon were excellent, Hehe!). It contained new potatoes, milk, single cream, and cheese in it, also savoy cabbage; Which I am not supposed to eat, but there was only a tiny 
bit of it, and I do miss my now barred Brassica.
Tomatoes, bubble & squeak, San Fransico style sourbread, everyday yoghourts, a lemon fool and a small box of fritters, also bought.
Had a hobble up Clinton Street, battling through the now increasing number of 
mostly seriously stern-faced Nottingham citizenry en route. Made my way to the bus stop on Queen Street. Where this young lady on her mobility scooter on her mobile phone, came out of the Post Office and down Queen Street, actually hitting my shopping bag as concentrated on her conversation, bless her!
I rather ashamedly thought if drivers get fines for doing this, why not the mobility scooter users, who do not pay road tax, are not forced to take insurance or driving tests, etc.?
Took this photo at the top of the street while waiting for the bus.
I called it, ‘Reflections of Nottingham Buses’.
Back to the stop and amazingly, the L9 bus arrived on time? Don’t know how he did it! A medal due here methinks?
There were new temporary lights on the route back to the flats on a housing estate in Mapperley. Tsk!
Had a go at the crosswords en route. Didn’t do very well, though.
A wee-wee was needed urgently.
Back at the Winwood Flats, the weather was all right still, and again I was last in the race back to the apartments.
The traffic was bad on Chestnut Walk, as expected.
Got to the porcelain just in time.
As I put the fodder away and got the meal ready cooking, I spotted some smoke outside, that looked to be coming from Sherwood.
It was clean white smoke, so I don’t know where it was coming from or if there was a fire at all. Didn’t hear anything about it on the radio.
Change into my night attire (Undies), did the Health checks and took the medications.
The meal, an easy one to prepare, and at last, it turned out a decent one.
I have to say, this San Fransico style sourbread is most delicious, if expensive at £2 for a 400g loaf.
Soon had the food eaten up and the pots washed.
Settled and fell asleep without any effort. Waking in time to do the late evening checks and medicationalisationing.
Tons to choose from on the TV. I was sure I would manage to stay awake this time, after having the involuntary Old Folks Nap earlier.
Got through a full episode of Law & Order. Nodded off at the commercial that followed, woke up an hour or so later and thought it was morning. Started to extract myself from the £300 second-hand recliner, stubbed my toe against the Ottoman (It’s got to go?), saw the clock, it was midnight.
Tsk! Hehe!
0600hrs: Woke to find the TV remote still laying on my generously padded with flesh stomach, and arose from the £300 second-hand recliner in need of the Porcelain Throne. The right arm seemed to have gained a different texture during the night? Hehe!
Another good start to the day here.The only ailments bothering me were Hippy Hilda and Arthur Itis. Even Haemorrhoid Harold and Little Inchy were both free of blood. The three little stab wounds in the left hand
1200hrs: Got the black bean sauce in the saucepan and added onions, peppers, garden peas and mushrooms. Warmed it through and got the Quorn minced beef added, and stood over it stirring it often.
It looked good, smelt good and tasted utterly repulsive, disgusting and awful!
Washed up the pots and things, and getting into the jammies, I thought it might be a good idea to pop into the spare room to fetch some bleach stored in there, and scrape my chin on the storage box edge. Fall forwards and grab the nearest thing to stop the fall onto the brolly I’d left open to dry the other day and got entangled in it. Thus, ending its short but useful life. Hahaha! Luckily it was the cheap Pound Shop one.
self out of the £300 second-hand recliner, and nearly toppling over, such was the pain from the right knee and hip as I stood up. Straight to the medical drawer took a 60g Codeine, then the rest of the morning medications, with a brew of tea in the new little cup.
visitations from either Shaking Shaun or Dizzy Dennis! Only Arthur Itis and Hippy Hilda any bother, and they had calmed down since I got up. Excellent start I thought.
Down and got the laundry in the washing machine and nipped outside to have a nosey.
As I went to get the lift back to the 12th floors, this little mite was there on the builder’s carpet protector strips.
Once back home, I had another wee-wee and gathered all the pieces of the stand I’d bought to give to the Nottingham Hospice, another go at erecting it.
Down a final trip to retrieve the washing from the dryer.
Which, as you can see here, the scraper acquired a brown tinge that is unremovable. This might be a clue to someone more cleverer than I am, as to from where the marks came from and what they consisted of? Something potent and corrosive, judging by how quickly they turned the razor blade into rust?
donated and would sell in moments, last week when I chatted with her.
enable it to. Hehe!
Full of pep with my little victories, I set about finishing the kitchen cleaning. Cleaned the counters, shelving, drawers, cooker sink cabinets, hoovered and mopped the floor.
En route, I noticed some food stalls getting ready for customers near the Mansfield Road entrance.
Top of hill on the footpath and right down to the apartments, and as I descended the gravel path, 93-year-old Polish Eddie was walking up it. I don’t know how he gets about so much, often and without any seeming effort, he can walk faster than I do. A grand chap too. Had a little natter with him as we passed each other.
At the bottom of the path near the car parking on Chestnut Walk as I crossed over to get to the foyer doors, this little squirrel kindly froze and gave me time to get closer and the camera out again.
Feeling a bit drained now, but still smug with myself.
Raining now, glad I went out when I did and not leave it until later on.
Got the mini-cup of tea brewed did the Health Checks and took the medications. All were looking good to me. Well, temperature a little high, but that is how it has been for a few days now.
I got the cramps in the left arthritic hand and fingers as I started typing.
0500hrs: Out of the £300 second-hand recliner and off to the Porcelain Throne. Much internal bleeding from Haemorrhoid Harold this morning, a lot of cleaning up and medicating needed and done.
Made a brew, did the Health Checks and took the medications.
Started to do this diary and it dawned on me that it might be an idea to get the vegetables ready for cooking later, for when I tackle making the Beef in Black bean sauce meal.
Off I went to make another brew, and the sky looked a bit threatening but beautiful at the same time.
Did the ablutionisationing, dressed and set off to the Temporary Winwood Social Shed for the chinwagging session.
Had a few good nattering sessions, all the same. Handed in the raffle prizes and gave out the nibbles. Said my farewells and went to the bus stop.
down the hill, where I dropped off and got the brolly out, and wobbled down to the Polish Food Shop.
Sourdough bread. Never come across this before, just hope I like it?
Roy took one of my bags to carry on the top of his four-wheeled trolly for me, and I got the brolly over us both in return?
I got into the apartment, and the Porcelain Throne was facilitated.
Nosh sorted. A bit of a job getting it all sorted, but it tasted lovely. Onion Bhaji’s, black bean sauce (from a jar), diced swede, diced carrots, red peppers, red onions, tomatoes, one little sole lonely potato (Haha!), fresh garden peas and shredded beetroot (from a jar). Followed with an apple and lemon-curd yoghourt.
As darkness descended I pondered, now the rain had stopped, to clean the pots and having a go at the tar marks on the outside of the kitchen window!
Off to the Porcelain Throne. No adscititious ailments, only Haemorrhoid Harold bleeding a lot.
The sky outside did not over encourage me on the coming weather.
Off to get the ablutions and medicationalisationing done.
Onto Mansfield Road up the hill and observed that the Restuarant Car Park sign had been tended to by ‘Nottingham Street Artists Blolblets’, again.
Unfortunately, he turned left as I took the picture. Humph!
got to the Surgery with plenty of time to spare.
Limped along into Carrington.
I crossed over the road and into Carrington proper.
Further along, near the Co-op store, a Nottingham Street Artist had been at it again, decorating new benches with an empty can, bottle and prettily spread sick underneath it, in a heart shaped design.
As I moved on to be insulted and cheated at the Lidl Store; Yet another Nottingham Pavement Cyclist had a go at me!
The rain started to come heavily, as I got in the concentration camp… sorry, I mean Lidl’s. I noticed that all four check-outs were abandoned and only the end bit with the self-serve tills was in use.
To the bus stop and caught one to Sherwood. I long wait for the L9 bus, just as well because I remembered to go to Wilko and search for a razor scraper. Came out of there spent up as well, having got; A measuring jug, Dettol disinfectant, Citrus deodorant, Cooking foil, black refuse sacks, toilet cleaner blocks, kettle descaler, fragrance booster, foil trays and…. Yes! I did it, I got a Glass razor scraper!
Had a chinwag with 93-year-old tenant Polish Eddy at the bus stop.
he TFZers and Facebook friends.
The meal took a lot of preparation tonight, but it was worth all the effort.
Took the medications and did the Health Checks.
Food delivery arrived.
Hobbling along Chestnut Walk and realised that I had not picked up the note of things to do! Humph! There were five things on it, I remember that much.
Dropped off on Queen Street and limped down through the Old Market Slab Square, which was designated as The Nottingham Beach with its rides, amusements and highly priced eateries, etc.
But some families had laid claim to the favourite corner positions on the beach. I wondered if any of them were German holidaymakers? Hehe!
Up the road and into the Hearing Aid place. Logged in with Snottypants on the reception and got the crossword book out.
I thanked him and departed. Noticing the rough sleeper had gone, and the shop opposite that was signed as being up for lease or sale last week, were now To Let.
way to it via the Nottingham Beach.
Across the road and through the square.
The last amusement ride I looked at was also moving fast and up and down.
the paper shop on the corner of Queen Street.
At the flats, I found this parked outside the apartments.
Had a bash on Facebooking.
Went to do the washing up and the rain had returned.
Gave up trying to catch up on any sleep again, and went into the kitchen to do the Health Checks and take the medications.
Hope to go into Arnold, visit the Arnot Hill Park and feed the ducks, then walk into Arnold proper and call at a few shops in the hope of obtaining some cheap nail polish remover and a Razor scraper. So I can tackle the kitchen window tar spots again later.
At the bus stop, the bench was filled up with tenants, female tenants. And good chin wag and laugh ensued while we waited for the bus. ‘All Aboard’, and in Sherwood, everyone, bar me got off. I was abandoned!
Dropped off and hobbled towards the park and pond.
I left through the top gate and gingerly hobbled to the bus stop, just as the sky began to threatened rain or a storm.
Again, I was the slowest of us all in hobbling back along Chestnut Walk to the apartments from the bus stop.
Got the fodder prepared and digested while watching some Boon DVD episodes.
To the Porcelain Throne and washed the dining pots.
The view through the window had that bluish tone again, but it soon brightened up.
I started to complete the Saturday Diary and had to return to the Porcelain Throne. Little Inchy had to be cleaned of blood, and Daktacort creamed again. Tsk!
Back to the computer, and heard some noises similar to gurgling sounds? Went to the kitchen, where I thought they were emanating from and had a look around and out of the window. Checked the Crock-pot, sink, cooker and fridge. The noises did not return and the mini-tar-like marks on the window that had increased in number since yesterday started to annoy me again! So I set-to giving them a good soak and scrub with the scouring pad for ten minutes or so.
The window control box, cleverly positioned on the right with about ¾” of space to get your fingers into to pull out the blunt lever so you can close or open the window to turn it around for cleaning; Trapping my knuckles against the frame as I struggled to turn in into position.
But, I did not swear, curse, accuse Nottingham City Homes of being Silly Billy’s in locating the switch where they did or use any bad language at all. Oh, no. Hehe!
Made a flask of tea went to put this the medications with it near to the computer.
All settled now.
Got the dinner ready.
In between watching but not fully absorbing the England v France football Match, many wee-wees had to be tended to, very many!
Health Checks. Weight still 14.88, Tsk!
But, after my disastrous attempts at freeing the stuff from the window, the view was still breathtakingly 
Got the food ready, with the intention of settling and watching the Women’s European Championship Quarter Final match, Netherlands v Sweden, and then switching channels to enjoy the Denmark v Germany games with the prospect of the France v England match to come on Sunday.