Inchcock’s Angling Holidays No2 – Bungay, Suffolk

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Part of the “A Nottingham Lad’s True Tales of Woe” Series

B 1

B BDD

En route to the Inn where we were to stay for the week, we decided, after the second electric fault with the van, to invest in a newer one between us.

Anyway, the RAC got us there… well, to a garage just up the road from the Inn.

In the morning, we fetched the repaired van (£160), and went on a reconnaissance run to suss out the better fisheries available locally to us. After a vote on which to fish that day, we visited the Broads to fish.

It was hot, the boat traffic was horrendous, and I had not had a bite for hours.

I decided to try out my new ledger-rod, and set up with a coffin lead, 16 spade-end bronze forged reversed spade-end hook, and baited with pressed bread. Casting in close to the bank, for fear of getting tangled with many boats going up and down the river.

No bites, nothing for another hour – at which point I thought I’d nip along the bank to the other lads to see how they were doing, and ask them if they wanted to move somewhere else.

Bill, catching a few skimmers said he was happy to stay.

Jock, was fast asleep, so I didn’t wake him up.

Mad Ken, was going at it like a mad-man, walloping in tons of ground-bait, and loose feed, casting every few minutes.

I asked him how he was doing and he said, “Nuffin’ yet, but I did have bite abart an hour ago, un I cun see rings ont water, summat big in there!” He did not want to move either.

I returned to my peg, just in time to see a *unt in a punt, going past so close to the bank, and he dragged in my rod and tackle as he sped off!

Well pissed off I was then!

B BDDThe next day, after a night of good company, booze, darts, dominoes, and fish & chips we went to some gravel pits near Yarmouth to fish.

After several hours of nothing happening, a bailiff collected our monies, and advised me to try sweetcorn on the hook – I did, nothing happened.

Depressed and frustrated, I went to see how the other lads were doing. Bill had some big bream, Mad Ken was into the Tench, and Jock was asleep on the bank. Seeing the good fish that Ken and Bill had caught, renewed my spirits, and I hastily returned to my peg… and sat there for another three hours with nothing happening, until the lads decided they had had enough.

B BDDThe next day, after a night of good company, booze, darts, dominoes, and fish & chips we decided to fish the river Waveney. That was stone’s throw from the inn we were staying at. It was shallow, fast moving, and full of snags!

B 2I got tangled not surprisingly, and had to bend down, and put a foot in the river to free the hook – as I stood up again, me head made severe contact with a tree trunk.

 The nurses at the Lowestoft Road Hospital’s Accident & Emergency unit were very kind.

The next day, in the afternoon I was released from the hospital.

B BDDThe next day, after a night of good company, booze, darts, dominoes, and fish & chips, we set out to fish a river near a windmill (Can’t remember the name).

We parked up, walked over a mill, I went into a field, and settled on the bank to fish in the high winds of the day.

B 1aAt last I was to catch a few fish, bream, roach, and a jack-pike, and as happy as a lark… until I turned around to mix some more bait, and there, straight in front of me, was the biggest brown bull I have ever seen. He was stood staring at me, with steam coming out of his nose, not moving at all!

I very slowly and gently packed up my gear, and crept towards the gate in the field… as I started to climb over the gate the beast sprang into life, snorted, and came for me! I threw my tackle over the gate, and followed it post haste. How the gate did not collapse when the bull ran into it I do not know.

Then I realised I’d taken the wrong gate out of the field, and now faced a marathon walk, carrying all my tackle down to a bridge, and back up the other bank to get to the van.

B BDDThe next day after enjoying the booze, darts, dominoes, the lads telling the locals of me escapade with the bull, much hilarious laughter and ribaldry, then fish & chips the night before, we departed the inn, to travel home.

Another lively but disappointing holiday. (Tsk!)

New Computer Game Developed with Nottingham Scenario

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CDA01Multi-National company CDA (Clivey-Boy Amalgamated), are to produce a Nottingham scenario for their new CDA Zim-Sity Simulation Game, due for release later this year.

Gaz Topps, Sim-Sity’s senior developer quoted:

“We realised that Nottingham has the fastest growing unemployed level in the country, and saw an opening to increase sales to those with the time to play the game. I feel sure the new more accurate representations of life in Nottingham will find the people of this City responsive to the new scenario which will be available soon.”

He explained further; We will be incorporating more Pay-day Loan outlets, Community buildings, Probation Offices, Charity Shops, Banks, Bankrupt retail outlets, Pawnbrokers, boarded up shops, Car parking meters, Law Firms, Job-Centres, Busker zones, and Drug Treatment Centres along with a reduction in Police Stations, Libraries, Council Housing, and Schools, to reflect a more accurate depiction of the City.

The police scenario module will include muggings, knifings, drug crime, and people being knocked over by Mobility Scooters and skateboarders to give it a more realistic to life in Nottingham angle.

We will also be creating a dedicated City-Centre zone, with public transport-buses taxis trams and cyclist driving on the pavements, emergency vehicles, Pay-day Loan outlets, Mobility scooters, Skateboarders, empty retail units, Parking Wardens, and Shoplifting scenarios.

CDA02We have done a deal with Grzegorz Malobodu Smythe-Robinson Chair of the local Big Issue organisation to allow us to use their logo in the game so everyone in Nottingham can recognise this and become more involved in the game.

It’s taken a while to develop this game and we have had to make further changes as time has passed. We’ve now removed the Police Station that was burnt down in the riots, as well as those closed down.

For realities sake we’ve also reduced the number of Police officers available to despatch to incidents by the player by 300.

We’ve now added a ‘Current Status map’ so players can view their scenario at a click of a button. Like ‘Current Shop lifters in action’ – ‘Big Issue sellers selling’ – ‘Elderly people currently at risk from Skateboarders’ – ‘Elderly people currently at risk from Mobility Scooters’ – ‘Muggings currently taking place’ – ‘Pickpockets currently in action’ – ‘Pay-day Loans currently being transacted’ and ‘Knifings/Firearm incidents currently taking place’. This will help the player to follow and control the normal life in Nottingham.

CDA04

We feel sure that the young computer literate people of Nottingham will want to play this game.

We’ve done a deal with several local Pay-Day Loan companies for them to arrange loans for anyone wishing to buy the game when it goes into distribution.

It will eventually be produced for all computers, Xbox, ipods etc. And should be available at under £300.

CDA03Steedenski Pay-Day Loans of Sewer Lane in Nottingham are offering to reduce their interest from 6,876.40% to 6,200.99% for purchases of the new game.

We are currently accepting suggestions for the name of the game and we are offering a prize for the supplier of the chosen name.

Inchcock Today: Friday 10th October 2014

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0501

0502

St John’s graveyard

Woke a few times with stomach/lower abdominal pains.

At around 0400hrs I woke again, and set about trying o read me book thinking that would send me off again.

0510hrs: Many chapters later, I felt the warm wet sensation around me ‘Inch’ – but it was not as bad as I thought. So I cleaned myself up and put the cream on.

0503

Walk into Sherwood

Came down about 0600hrs and started the laptop, made a cuppa and took me morning medications. Took some stuff out to the bin, and got the stuff i tried to deliver to the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop yesterday in the bag for another try today. Added a few bits to it.

Did some blogging and graphics for facebook.

Went up to beautify missen, and then set off on me walk to Sherwood, going passed St John’s graveyard… St John’s foetus covered graveyard.

Onto Mansfield Road and down then up the hill to the Nottingham Hospice Charity Shop. It was still closed?

I decided to take the stuff to the Age Concern shop in town, thus I caught a bus.

It was busy in town, I suppose being a Friday I should have expected it.

I espied a poster for the Contemporary Gallery in town, telling of a BBC  special  show about the First World War – and thought yes, I’ll have some of that thank you.

0504

Milton Street busy

I was going to walk through Milton Street, but the crowds were very thick, so walked to the Age Concern the long way around to avoid them.

Managing to avoid the mobility scooter drivers en route. I’m sure they must get bonus points for scaring or running into people yer know?

I hoped to take some pictures of the exhibition and was really looking forward to it too.

0506

Puzzled youth

At this point, I’d like to point out and explain about me camera situation for you all. The Oldie Olympus is still working, but tends to turn itself off when it feels like it? But the screen is developing black patches and is becoming difficult to view.

I bought a Cannon camera which I really liked a lot, it was easy to use and download to the laptop.

Then I had me last burglary. I didn’t use it for a while then couldn’t find it anywhere and thought it had been taken with the other bits.

So, I went and got conned by the kind chap a Jessops Photography shop into buying a Sony camera I didn’t really feel comfortable with, and I had to get Pete me brother in law to assemble the ‘free’ case wot cum with it and show me some pointers on how it worked.

Yesterday I found the ‘new’ Canon camera and am tickled pink. So I used it today, apart from the disinfectant and cake photo that is, for that I used the old Olympus.

I’ve done a search a few minutes ago to try and find the new Canon camera… not to worry, I must have put it somewhere safe…

0508

The mystery of the disappearing Poppy’s?

Then I poddled up Bridlesmith Gate and out to the Gallery, who had a sign outside 0509about the BBC exhibition… and another in the foyer area… then I saw this sign!

Ah well…

Off to the cheapo 99p shop in Broad Marsh. (Limping now)

There were very few people in the centre for a Friday, and the 99p shop shelves looked decidedly bare to me?

Took a photo, that cheered up the staff who descended upon me!

Still, I got a 2.5 litre Lavender disinfectant and a pack of ten Chocolate biscuits/cakes for 99p each. I got the cakes for the nurses at the QMC yer know. I might try one myself later.

A steady walk down the centre and up into town, stopping to listen to the Sax player and throw a bit into his collection box.

0509c

The Lord Mayors Jaguar

Took a photo of the Lord Mayors Jaguar, parked where in 2010 I was given a parking ticket when I was responding to an alarm activation when I was working in security. (Huh, blow and Tsk!)

Then up King Street, and while there were not many folk around I took a photo of Brian Clough’s statue.

Caught the bus to Carrington, and limped to the hovel, well tired and aching again.

0509d

Brian’s statue and Wot I bought

Updated this tosh, made a cuppa, and set alarm to remind me to take the penicillin capsule later.

I must remember to text sister Jane to see if it is alright for me to visit them in them tomorrow.

Tried to do some graphics, but Coreldraw9 kept freezing… oh dear… is this the end?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAGot text back from Jane. Can’t visit them they are having flu jabs in the morning then going to meal in afternoon. Ah well can’t be helped.

Hello, yobs kurking in the middle of the street again.

Ah, they’ve moved on thank heavens.

Inchcock Today: Thursday 9th October 2014

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04Th01

Thursday 9th October

Up at 0300hrs.

WC.

Oh dear oh dear… The ‘Inch’ was so painful. Swollen tender and bulbous, almost glowing red! At least the bleeding was far less this morning.

The pains in the left ribs had eased a bit too. The arthritis seemed not too bad, the angina was okay at the moment.

Got down around 0320hrs – laptop started and made a cuppa. Far too early yet to take me medications. Just took one Codeine Phosphate 30mg to ease the tenderness in the ‘Inch’.

Did some work on me Inchcock blog and posted one.

The Inch is far less painful and tender now, thankfully.

Made another cuppa and took me medications.

Got rather carried away again creating a graphic for hours… and you’ve guessed it, Coreldraw9 froze and I lost everything. I haven’t swore so much for ages.

The walkies plan today, was to take a walk to the Hospice shop with the stuff for them into Sherwood, then catch a bus into Arnold; where I hoped to get some of the ready meals from Iceland and lollies from Fultons.

I’m doing this because I give up on my failed efforts to get the Nottingham City Council Meals at Home service to keep the appointments they made to come and see me about it.

 Had a wash and shave and made myself look semi-respectable (well…), got the things ready for the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop, made sure I’d got all me things needed and set off – just as the rain came!

I limped into Sherwood, and found the Hospice Shop was closed with a notice on the window ‘We regret this shop is closed today due to unforeseen, circumstances’ I hope the staff were alright.

I had to walk all the way back to the flea-pit with the bags, and the rain started again. (Tsk!)

I got in and left the Hospice bags, changed into a dry hat and set off again, but only to the bus stop to catch bus to Arnold and the freezer shops.

Arrived in Arnold Front Street, which was handy because both of the shops are on that street.

04Th02Called into Iceland where I got some wonderfully priced microwave meals (89p Special Offer from £1) – Shepherds Pies and Potato Beans and Sausage with cheese. I also bought a ready meal at £1-50 somehow I didn’t notice it had sweet corn in it so I’ll have to just not eat the sweet corn when I digest the rest of it. Dr at QMC said to avoid sweet corn, summat to do with me kidneys not liking them?

Walked over to the Fultons shop and got some lollies. While walking around the shop perusing, I had one of those conversations that stay with you a while… confuse you, but stay with you.

Me: Excuse me, could you tell me if you have any of the Microwave sausages in stock?

He: Microwave sausages?

Me: Yes, they were packed in 20’s and cost £1.99.

He: Did they?

Me: Yes.

He: Where were they?

Me: Here in front of us in the freezer marked sausages!

He: No… But we have Kipling Vienna cakes on offer!

Flabbergasted!

I got me stuff and caught the bus back to Carrington.

As I got off of the vehicle, the rain started again.

By the time I had hobbled back to the dump, I wus well soaked this time.

As I got in I felt suddenly so tired and weary again.

Had a Potato cheesey bean thing (Nice though) followed by a lolly or two and me medications then actually fell asleep for once.

04Th03Woke up by the Meals at Home people phoning to see if I was in!

I explained as best I could without getting annoyed about their failure to keep two appointments that they had set to see me, and I was out buying food due to their second non-appearance yesterday. Eventually I just said: “If I need you I’ll phone later, let’s forget it eh? Thanks anyway.

Woke a few times with stomach pains, well lower abdominal pains.

Nottingham Police Granted Special Status

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Nottingham Police Granted Special Status

NP01

Juan questions Ashgar

It was disclosed this morning by Ashgar Tyson a City Council litter and Big Issue seller to our ace, unpaid, senile WordPress reporter Juan Inchcock that the Nottingham City Police are to be awarded a Special Preservation Order from the Nottingham City Council.

Inchcock contacted the City Council leader Con Jollins (Expenses so far this year £46,814.48) who had just returned from a fact finding mission to see how the Miami Council deals with their Gay Lithuanian Support Groups. He met him as he was being woken up at a Council meeting on spending cuts and asked him about this rumour of the Nottingham City Police being awarded a Special Status.

Mr Jollins replied; Now the Coalition Government has dramatically cut the number of officers, and their having asked for a further 2000 voluntary applications from officers for early redundancy, and their having actually received over 6,200 application, we are considering placing a ‘Protected Species’ classification on them as well. But this is being dealt with by our Social Services leader Nugget Khan (Expenses to date this year £4,646.45) He is currently in Luxembourg  assessing the Social needs of immigrants from Luxembourg within Nottingham society.

He added; However, you might like to speak with his secretaries third assistant cleaners support worker, Shirley (Wage £9.37 hourly). She will be available every second Wednesday between ten and ten past ten at the Job Centre plus offices on Upper Parliament Street where she gives support and advice to the masses of Nottingham… as part of the City Council’s support group for the underprivileged.

Unsure if it was worth following up this rumour, Juan left and took his medications.

NP02

Commissioner Steedenski

Inchcock eventually did catch up with Shirley by chance, when he was on his way to apply for a new bus-pass, Shirley’s chauffeur driven Jaguar swerved to avoid a skateboarder who had collided with a mobility scooter, and they knocked Inchcock over.

Commissioner Mike Steedenski, who was in the vehicle groping Shirley at the time bore witness that Juan had caused the accident by running away from the skateboarder and mobility scooter in the first place.

When he was released from hospital, he decided to chase the story about the Nottingham police, and ensconced at the Job Centre plus offices on the Wednesday at ten a.m. and awaited the arrival of Shirley.

He saw her arrive and put her bottle of Gin in the glove compartment, she entered the Job Centre Plus premises. Where Juan cornered her and asked for her views on the Granting of Special Status for the Nottingham Police Force.

She was very calm and collected and explained: “Any rare species is entitled to our protection to save their becoming totally extinct. Look what happened to the Dodo and Simon Dee! Do we want this to happen to our Policemen as they become more and more scarce?”

NP03

Offensive weapon caution

At that she walked off into the back offices with a hiccup and staggered waddle.

Juan was still not sure if he should continue with the story to press, as there seemed little interest shown by the Big issue sellers, street artists, muggers and Pay-Day loan customers he had interviewed so far that week.

As he left the premises, he was approached by an armed police officer who wished to be advised as to why Juan was in possession of an offensive weapon?

His walking stick.

NP04

Police requesting an interview with Inchy about his walking stick & his attack on Commissioner Mike Steedenski’s vehicle

Juan gave the man short change, questioned his parentage put his cap on and limped off disgusted with his treatment.

He caught the bus home to his flea-pit house, and immediately (Well, after he’d taken his medications) drafted a letter of resignation as an unpaid WordPress reporter.

As he set off on a hobble to post it off, the police arrived and conducted an interview with him about his dangerous walking stick he left the Job Centre Plus office.

Inchcock Today: Wed 8th October 2014

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03W01

He’s given up on the Meals at Home I think!

Wednesday 8th October 2014

Incorporating Medicinal & Meals at Home Updates

Stirred at 0345hrs: ‘Inchy’ tended to.

WC.

03W02New aches in arms and legs; Perhaps I’d been tossing and turning in my sleep.

Cuppa and medications taken, remembering the extra penicillin capsules.

Must not forget the three others I’ve to take… hard work this yer know, trying to get the medications right with em changing so often.

Currently I’m on:

Warfarin as per weekly schedule 

Furosomine 40 mg – One per day, mornings

Bisoropol Fumarate – 2.5 mg – One in morning

Docusate Sodium – 100 mg caps – One four times a day

Ramipril 10mg One a day at night

Simvastin 40 mg – One a day at night

Codeine Phosphate – 30 mg – Twice a day

Paracetomol – 500 mg – Four times a day

Ranitidine – 150 mg – One tablet twice a day

Omeprozole – 20mg – One a day

Pentoxifylline – 400mg – Three times a day

Flucloxacillin – 500mg – Four times a day

Amoxicillin Trihydrate – 250mg – One at night, One in morning

Cetraben cream – Morning and night

Clotrimazole cream – Three times a day

Phorpain Gel – Three times a day

Corticosteroid cream – Three times a day

Mondays: GP checks on the ‘Inch’ condition.

Mondays: Queens Medical Centre Haematology INR level checks.

Tuesday: Queens Medical Centre Renal and Reflux valve checks.

I’m expecting Meals at Home lady to call today – and must remember my 1530 appointment with the nurse at the GP surgery for me flu jab. Oh… just checked on me Google diary, it’s for 1425hrs. I hope the Meals people come in time… problems problems problems (Huh!).

The Situation (Nightmare) of the Meals on Wheels

03W03

Wednesday 24th September;

Walked down through the arcade and went into the Library Contact point and asked them if they knew where I could get details of the Meals at home service. A very nice lady called them for me, and handed me the phone. They are going to send me details through the post.

Saturday 27th September;

Got me bumf on Meals at Home.

I waddled through the crowds to the County Contact Point in the library.

Where I asked about the Meals at Home delivery day, because I thought it might on me hospital days, Monday or a Tuesday. The kind lady said they were closed there at the weekends. But if I could call on Tuesday as I go through to the Queens medical centre, she would call them for me. That was nice of her.

Tuesday 29th September;

I called at the Contact point again, but the lady was not there.

I limped to the library and spoke with a chappie on the contact point desk. It transpired that someone from the Council will be calling to see me tomorrow sometime about it.

Wednesday 1st October;

Remembered I’d got the ‘Meals at Home’ person calling today, so I have to remain in all day so as not to miss he/her/them. 1450hrs: Making myself poorly with holding in me urge to go to the toilet in case I miss the ‘Meals at Home’ person/s who are supposed to be calling today. Determined not to miss them/him/her and give em a reason not to serve me. Bit frustrating this waiting and not knowing lark.

1510hrs: Still waiting…

Thursday 2nd October:

Walked to the Nottingham Council Contact Point in the main library, took a photo of the slab square.

 Talked with the helpful chappie who had arranged for the Meals at Home peoples to call and see me yesterday.

Explained to him how I’d waited in for 13 hours but nobody came to see me… adding about the ailments that this failure had caused me. But I kept meself calm throughout.

“What else can I do?” he asked.

“Forget it!” I replied.

“What are you going to do then?” He inquired.

“Drop dead through starvation I suppose!” I quipped with a smile on me face. Adding “I cannot go through that again waiting, holding my water and back passage movements, the Angina starting, the high-blood pressure… never mind. But thanks for your help anyway Sir!”

Got home and found a note through the door telling me they called on Thursday AM but I was not in. Huh! They would be calling back on Monday!?!?

Friday 3rd October;

Got back to the flea-pit and rang up the Meals at Home people.

After telling her all about it, the woman put me through to someone else – so I explained it all again in detail about Monday and Tuesdays out of the question. And began losing heart at this point when, she said; No problem we’ll call to  see you next Tuesday!?!?

AGAIN I explained about Monday and Tuesday being taken up with medical procedure and tests.

“Oh yes… We’ll call on Wednesday the 8th between 11 and 2pm then.

I said thank you and rang off mentally weary.

03W001Wednesday 8th;

No sign of them by 1415hrs, and I had to rush off to the GP for me flu jab.

Got back, but no note in the letter box, no on from Nottingham County Council Meals at Home had called.. again! – I give up!

Inchcock Today: Tuesday 7th October 2014

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02Tu1

Awake at 0340hrs, feeling cold despite having had the heater on all night. Brrrr! Left it on this morning. (Which makes a change from forgetting to turn it off?)

02Tu2Couldn’t nod off again, so got up and put the kettle on.

Thought I’d take a photo of the usual scene outside me front door right. It were dark, dank foggy and flipping chilly.

Managed to do a bit of graphicalistion work on Coreldraw… for about five minutes, and it froze everything.

Had to force close and start everything again.

By then, it were time fer me to get things and missen ready fer launderette visit. (Tsk again!)

02Tu5Turned off laptop proper, went up for a wash n shave… more blood from the ‘Inch’. I’m getting a bit worried abarght this situation now.

 I wabbled off to the launderette, Mandy on duty today. Took her photo with the Canon camera.

Big John arrived and we had a natter while the washing twirled in the machines. Big J went off to the cafe for his breakfast.

Got the washing dried (cost £2.80), said me cheerio’s and limped back to the ramshackle dwelling.

02Tu4Got things ready for the Nottingham Hospice Charity Shop, and set off on me walk into Sherwood.

Bit of drizzle. But nowt to shout about yer know.

As I passed some houses, I remembered reading that at the last census there were 145 people registered in the first four houses! I never did follow that one up.

Dropped off at the Polish shop and got a loaf and four slices of some nice looking cooked meat with no label on it to have for me supper/dinner/lunch/tea.

Got to Hospice Charity Shop, only one old chap on his own in the shop, bless him.

02Tu6Came out and the sky looked a bit threatening I thought – so I decided against a walk into town, and made for the Carrington flea-pit.

Passing this time; three mobility scooters outside the pub!

I nervously continued hobbling along as fast as possible in case any of them came out and got on ‘em while I was about like!

I just missed the rain, got in just in time.

Kettle on, laptop on and took me midday medications, then applied the creams. ‘Inch’ still leaking. (Treble Tsk!)

Updated this twaddle.

Another Nottingham Man committed to Asylum

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LB01An in-depth report has been received from League of Mental Men unpaid ace reporter and retired baby-sitter assessment specialist Danny Soz.

Ophelia Payne (17), the part-time caretaker of the NHS ‘Happy House Insane Asylum’, Nottinghamshire, has notified the local paper through Danny, that a third Nottingham man has had to be admitted for his own safety, suffering from Politically Obsessive-compulsive Disorder Complex with split-personality suicidal traits.

 She expects that more sufferers in the Nottingham area may well yet be uncovered. All of the current patients were over the years known to have supported, voted for or donated to the Lib-Dem party.

This new mental disorder, has now been diagnosed and been named ‘Cleggitus’.

It was soon discovered that all of the new patients were found to have voted for the Lib-Dems in last local elections, after the Coalition was formed. A horrific thought, but it has been proven that each one avtually did vote for the Lib-Dems.

Mr Mike Steedenski (45) of the Institute of Political Idiocy commented: “This Cleggitus is proving to be a devil to identify and even harder to eradicate. Let’s face it, it you had voted for the Lib-Dems and then saw the turncoats aid and abet the Cameron led shower of nepotistic scum-bags and nihilists to wage more war, kill off the NHS and attack the proletariat like never before… you wouldn’t want to shout about it would you? But these pillocks did!”

Mr Steedenski took a pause, passed wind, scratched his anus and continued: “Sorry about that, I get carried away you know. What treatment we can actually give to these imbeciles we have not yet worked out. But we must for their own sakes keep them out of harm’s way if we can.”

The telephone rang, and he jumped nervously, twitched, spat on the floor then carried on: “My staff here at the Institute are working on trying to locate the other three twerps who we know voted Lib-Dem in Nottingham, and offer them Sanity Tests and delousing facilities!”

LB03Mr Steedenski went into a trance-like state, took out a penny whistle and blew into it, then slowly came back to reality and added: “We are also making trial medications available for these poor pathetic people. These can be ingested via a dummy, or tear-gas capsules as we think this might help them… or not. Some specialists think that an unlimited supply of alcoholic beverages for them might help. Of course this might encourage the people of Nottingham to vote Lib-Dem, and we don’t want do we?”

“Well thank you very much Doctor!” I said.

“Doctor? Me?… no no no… Am I?”

He disappeared into a toilet, and came out wearing a Superman costume and left the room, shouting “Pickled Walnuts!” loudly.

LB04I was confused.

But this was soon rectified when a stout Doctor entered the room, and apologised for Mr Steedenski’s behaviour, explaining that he was in reality one of the patients taken into the Institute who had voted Lib-Dem in the past.

He introduced himself as Dr Gaztop Bonebreaker, and leant down towards my face and said: “If you want to take it any further you can, but I cannot guarantee your health if you do see?”

I didn’t.

Inchcock Today: Monday 6th October 2014

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01M001

The clever photo of the inside of the bus header on top of this page was taken by my Brother-in-law Pete – Good innit? – His a clever lad he is yer know

Inchcock Today: Monday 6th October 2014

Up at 0435hr: Only a little blood from the ‘Inch’ this morning.

Cuppa and medications consumed.

Managed to get three posts done with graphics and posted before I had to get ready for the visit to the doctor and hospital for me INR tests.

I had to call the surgery to find out what time the appointment was for – Tsk!( Old age eh?)

I managed to get a couple of posts fininshed and onto LOMM (League of Mental Men) site, as Monday is my day to post on there.

Tried to get on the City Homes website: “There appears to be a problem with our connection – please try later” Fancy that.

I remembered to ring Dr Vinla’s surgery to find out what time my appointment is for -1030hrs.

Turned off the laptop nipped up and checked me ‘Inch’ put some more cream on. Had good wash and shave, did me teggies and creamed me various parts that needed them.

01M01Went out into the rain and wind (Taking a photo of the end of the road to compare with the earlier ones last week) and hobbled to the surgery for 1020hrs. Forgetting to take me camera with me.

Dr Vindla had a look at the ‘Inch’ declaring the lesion much improved.

She heard the wind coming up from me, and had a look down my throat saying that the Reflux valve was sticking again.

I told her about my haemorrhoids’ bleeding badly again.

She said “We’ve only just started to stop your lesion (Inch) bleeding badly, and now you start bleeding from the other end” and cracked a smiled. I like her for a doctor, she’s a good sense of humour.

Then she took me BP stating it was better than last week.

She prescribed me some Fluclaxacillin tablets to take for a week (Just what I needed more medications hehe), and some extra 30mg Codeine Phosphates.

She asked me to let her know if the Warfarin IRN level was above 4.0 again when I get the results from the QMC later.

She then told me to book in to see her next Monday.

So I did.

Out I went into the rain and wind again. Down to the chemist to get me Penicillin capsule.

Then caught a bus into town.

Then another bus to the Queens Medical Centre haematology for me blood tests. They were not busy and I was soon out into the wind and not so much rain now, catching a bus back into town.

Had a hobble into Tesco and got some wheatmeal bread thins, cooked chicken pieces and a pack of two cream cakes… hehehe!

Caught bus back to Carrington and saw from the bus some regular yobboes lurking near the bus stop I should have alighted from. So I went on to the next stop to get off and walked the long route back to the flea-pit.

01M02Got in and WC’d sharpishly and checked the ‘Inch’. Okay!

Put me things worra got from town away and took a Penicillin capsule (four a day) along with me late midday medications.

Made cuppa-rosie-lee and updated this tosh again.

Feeling a bit weary, but not as bad as I have been… Yahoooo!

On getting ready for me kip – the ‘Inch’ started bleeding again!

Tsk!

Inchcock Today: Sunday 5th 2014

/ Inchie / 1 Comment

07Su01

Up at 0330hrs, WC. Checked the bleeding ‘Inch’ and Clotromozole creamed him. But I have to say, the bleeding was not bad compared to what it has been (Fingers crossed… mind you that often happens involuntarily with the arthritis). He was still very tender but I was pleased with bleeding being lighter.

Rather chirpily I came down and put the kettle on, started the laptop and nipped back up to the bathroom for a heavy-duty visit to the WC.

Huh! Now the haemorrhoids’ are bleeding like mad. I can’t win yer know! I have to be careful now, because I’m using the Cetraben cream on me skin, the Clotromozole cream on me Inch, the Phorpain gel on me knees and hands and now I’m using the Corticosteroid cream for the piles. I must not get them mixed up… oh dear…

07Su02Back down and I took a photo of the same aaaa3area as I did yesterday of that colourful sky – but it didn’t come out too well cause it were so dark, still I tried and failed. (Kind of encapsulates my life that phrase Hehehe)

Back down and made a cuppa and some porridge and took me oral medications. Discovering as I finished eating it, the porridge had a sell-by-date of July 14.

Updated this diary, and went on Facebook for a while.

After a few hours and trips to the WC, I went up to get a wash shave and other thingies done. As I stripped off, there it was again’ blood from me ‘Inch’! Good job I’m seeing the GP in the morning, must remember to go early and ask them what time my appointment is for. Tsk!

More sorting out done, still tempted to put the bandage back on – that way I can feel it when it bleeds and help stop me clothes getting bloodied. Never mind and hey-ho.

Yobs lurking up and down the street again.

I think I might go up early to save me hobbling up and down the stairs to tend to ‘Inch’ leak, and get away form the yobboes.

I can catch up on me next entry if owt ‘appens worth mentioning.

TTFN