Inchcock’s Letter to Agony Aunt: 01

Dear Auntie,

Inchletter01

Wilhelmina and Inchcock

I’ve still not got over the best put-down line offered to me from a member of the opposite sex, to date. (And there has been hundreds over the years).

I was working at Tesco at the time, and this new girl Wilhelmina had started there, and she soon got my heart, foibles and desires all of a flutter.

Eventually I plucked up enough courage to offer to take her on a date, to the pictures (to the Elite cinema) in Nottingham.

Her response, hit me hard, and I’ve never forgotten how she leant her head to one side, adopted a radiant sympathetic smile, and looked  down at me and said: “No thanks titch, I only date men!”

As it came over, I was uncertain if she was referring to my height or length. Although I agree, both measurements are extremely short, incommensurate, and remarkably insufficient.

I feel I am not responsible for either of these miniscule measurements. Can’t understand it, my Dad was more than well equipped.

It isn’t fair!

Inchletter02

Dr Gropeworthy

I once visited a psychologist, a Dr Damien Gropeworthy for help with my phobia. He just said “It is a darling little thing that should be cherished and massaged regularly.”

I didn’t go back to see him again.

But you can see my problem… can’t you? (Well not see my shortage as such, but the difficulties it presents to me).

Any good advice would be welcome, as I have a date next week, and need to be prepared you see.

Yours: Juan Inchcock Chambers

Grane plot 34 (Next to the fire bombed police car) The Nottingham Ex Gas Lamp Lighters Benefit Support Association Accommodation, Central Cemetery, Nottingham.

Inchcock Today: Thurs 7th August

Inchcock Today: Thursday 7th August

Not much kip again, but at least I got some in last night.

First job my sixth visit of the night to the WC.

Laptop on, had a cuppa and porridge. Had a great time creating commenting on a few and reading blogs. BT internet only went down a few time this morning.

About 1230hrs did me ablutions, WC, got ready to go and pick up my extra prescription from the GP. WC’d before I left.

Got prescription from the surgery, and set off on a walk (limp) into town.

Walked passed the chemists forgetting to get me medications – I blame the fact that I was noshing a banana.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAIn town, I caught a bus out to Derby.

I fed the pigeons behind the bus station. Noticed how low the water was, this revealed a new shopping trolley in the Derwent.

Had a hobble around, noticed all the people seemed in a bad mood there.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAWalked out and caught bus to Mansfield.

In Mansfield, I realised that the people of Derby, were in fact not in a bad mood. What a depressing place the market there was today. Folk already staggering sloshed out of the pubs, people arguing, oh dearie me.

I bought a crossword book from the arcade, and made my way back to the bus station. I could smell food cooking somewhere, so was forced to investigate in the shop. Boy did I have a job telling her I had bought the crossword book from somewhere else.

Caught the bus back to Carrington, it was busy with passengers by then, and I had the company of a foreign lady on the seat in front speaking non-stop on her mobile, and a deep voiced loud chap on his mobile in the seat behind. Proper headache by the time I got off the bus. Neither stopped talking for over an hour.

I got off the bus as I had cunningly planned, near the chemists. Went in and they dispensed me prescription for me within fifteen minutes as I started me crossword book off.

Good job there was some extra pain-killers, had to take a couple straight away for me headache. Tsk!

Struggled home, knees and feet bad now. Got in, put the kettle on, and then went back out to the chemists to pick up me crossword book.

Back to the hovel again. WC.

Had a Cornish pastie peas and microwave chips – naughty but nice, followed by an orange jelly. I just don’t care yer know!

Took laptop up to do this blog. WC.

Not one of me most exciting days, but at least I got out a bit, must phone Jane again later and try and cheer her up a tad.

TTFN

Inchcock’s Letter of to anyone who will listen

 

L9 01

Dear Anyone who will listen,

It has come to me attention, and that of the NHS Casualty Department staff, that I have been clobbered four times now, by folk driving disabled and Motorbility scooters in the Nottingham area.

The First Attack

The first was on Mansfield Road near the cemetery as I was walking up the hill on my way to town.

He came from behind, knocking me over and spilling my bag of goodies on the floor as he drove over me right leg. It were a decent clout wot I received.

The disabled driver then continued to rant at me, despite my pointing to me hearing aids, and then shot off up the hill. I asked the woman who came over to me, what he was saying. It seemed he was asking if I was alright, but got angry when I couldn’t hear what he was saying?

Anyway, I gorrup with the lady’s assistance, dusted missen down,  thanked the lady, and carried on me walk into town. Unfortunately I took a turn for the worse, and felt very dizzy, so called into the NHS Drop-in centre in town, who checked me over and called for an ambulance. At the hospital, the grim faced doctor said he could find nothing wrong with me, and churlishly sent me on me way.

The Second Attack

Shopping in Victoria centre, I as hobbling along nicely and received a blow from behind as the mobility scooter knocked into me.

I called out immediately to the driver, and heard his description of certain male bodily parts in answer.

The Third Attack

In Derby’s Eagle Centre. I was stood still, bent down sorting out the things in me shopping bag, walking stick on me arm.

Next thing me nose is touching the floor, as the gentleman in a Motorbility scooter knocked me over from behind, breaking me walking stick as he just carried on over it,  and disappeared!

The Fourth Attack

This took place in the Queens Medical hospital a few weeks ago.

I’d just arrived at the haematology dept for me weekly INR Warfarin level tests, and was near the ticket issue machine. A lady on a Motorbility scooter pulled up beside me. I asked her if she needed a ticket. She just replied “No I don’t”.

So I took one for myself, and moved over to the second row of seats, and was stood by the end of them, getting my paperwork out ready, and as propelled across the seats as she drove into them, and she carried on trying to accelerate for a while, I could feel the shuddering.

The staff in treatment room heard the commotion and came out as she had finally managed to free her scooter from me and the chairs, and drove off! The staff did an accident report for me. I went in for me tests, and they all had a good laugh about it.

L9 02I’d like to request you send me some limpet mines at a good price, so that next time I can try to disable the offending scooter long enough for me to… well..

I’ve just watched a DVD that me brother-in-law copied off the telly for me. About disability scooters, and the drivers not having to take a test or practise on them before going out on the roads to mangle Inchcock.

And it said the dangerous drivers of these mechanic accidents waiting to happen, do not have to have insurance either?

Tut!…

Grrr….

They’re not safe yer know!

Yours;

Juan Inchcock

Nervous Lane

Gottanewticknow

Ward 19

Nottingham’s Queens Medical Centre

Inchy Today: Monday 4th Aug 2014

 

Up after another nasty nightmare filled night at about 0430hrs.

Morrison’s delivery expT Dvdected this morning twixt 0700 and 0800hrs.

BT internet playing up again.

Made cuppa, took medications.

Searched for the DVD I ordered three weeks ago from HMV, and collected last Friday. ‘The Big Job’. Sid James, Dick Emery, Jim Dale, a good old comedy. Tried to watch it last night, but HMV had left the security thingy on it, so I wanted to put in bag now, so I could return it and get em to remove it. But couldn’t find it – Tsk!

BT internet connection crap, now gone all together (0525hrs)

Got laundry things ready for after delivery of nosh.

BT back on-line 0550 hrs. Nice of em innit?

BT back OFF-LINE 0556 hrs. Reset box again… Gits!

BT back on-line 0600 hrs.

BT back OFF-LINE 0601 hrs.

BT back on-line 0604 hrs.

I lost connection between 0550hrs and 0620 hrs about eight/nine times! Grrrr, had to keep resetting or rebooting. Gave up.

Anyone else on BT, How’s your connection today?

Morrison’s delivered at 0734 hrs. Put the stuff away. (Well, some of it).

0800 hrs, ablutions and got launderette togs ready, so much to take I could hardly carry em.

On the way to the launderette, an amoeba belted passed me on a pushbike un frit me half to death, almost hit me. I called out, and soon learnt he was an experienced driver by the finger sign he gave me as he disappeared into the distance, bless him!

 At the launderette, I had a good laugh with the gal there, and we tried to do a crossword. Cheered me up that did.

Back to the hovel, put togs away (Well, dropped the bags upstairs), and did another search for the DVD – and wallah; I found it. Where you might ask… er… in the bath actually, don’t ask why it was there, I don’t know.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERATook an apple and pack of seaweed and other healthy food to eat on me walk into town. Must remember to take the DVD back to be opened.

Called on me way, to tell… oh I forget her name now, the laundry gal that I’d found the DVD. She did laugh… bless her.

Hobbling into town, halfway up the hill on Mansfield Road near the cemetery, blow me if someone else didn’t belt passed me on a bike on the pavement, nearly knocking me over. I’m getting fed up with these near misses from bikers.

Went into Tesco and got me Krakowska meat. Then limped into the slab square, took a photo of the disgusting children’s fountain and paddling pool. Dumped at the end of it, were beer cans and bottles, cigarette ends, sweet wrappers, crisp packets etc.

Proceeded, (I could have written carried on to, or Then, but I like typing Proceeded) along to the bank to extract some money and get me balance (Oh dear me).

Then took a walk to Aldi, and got some of their excellent Lemon cheesecakes and Porridge pots (what Lidl have stopped selling).

T bikeFeet and knees on bad shape now, so wandered to the bus stop, and caught one back to Beirut… I mean Carrington. As I got off the bus, a bloody motorcyclist this time, nearly hit me, as he drove on the pavement to the chip shop! I bravely took his photo from behind him.

I tottered back to the dump, and made a nice cup of Punjana tea bags. They are very good and strong, and they’re on offer at the moment at Morrison’s too, 49p off.

Started the laptop, and the BT connection was okay, perhaps they think I’m still in town?

1500 hrs BT connection down… Tsk! Back up 1509 hrs.

Started to do graphics for Letters to LOMM 8

Gang of about eight youths swaggering up the centre of the street. Hope they keep moving.

Getting on with graphics.

Yobs lurking outside again, going to go upstairs out of the way.

I’ll post this and try to remember to carry on the next from this time.

Must remember to take me medications up with me.

TTFN all.

Inchy’s E-Mail to the Nottingham Constabulary

Inspired by a letter published in the Daily Telegraph

The E-Mail

Having been bothered with the local yobs on my street, several times, and mugged twice. I’d like to give you an update on my situation.

Having spent the past twenty minutes waiting for someone at Nottingham Sherwood police station to pick up a telephone I have decided to abandon the idea and try e-mailing you instead. Perhaps you would be so kind as to pass this message on to your colleagues in Sherwood by means of smoke signal, carrier pigeon or Ouija board.

As I’m writing this e-mail there are eleven failed medical experiments (I think you call them youths) in Sherbrooke Road, Carrington, Nottingham

Three of them seem to enjoy insulting passing pedestrians and motorists, threatening them as the pass.

The remaining five walking abortions are happily rummaging through several bags of rubbish and items of furniture that someone has so thoughtfully dumped beside the wheelie bins.

Several of them wander off to set fire to the odd bin. When they get to house number 14, I am concerned they might cause a catastrophe, due to the location of a rusty Calor gas bottle between the bins. If they could be relied on to only blow their own arms and legs off then I would happily leave them to it. I would even go so far as to lend them the matches. Unfortunately they are far more likely to blow up half the street with them and I’ve just finished cleaning me windows.

What I suggest is this. After replying to this e-mail with worthless assurances that the matter is being looked into and will be dealt with, why not leave it until the one night of the year (probably their bath night) when there are no mutants around then drive up the street in a panda car before doing a three point turn and disappearing again. This will of course serve no other purpose than to remind us what policemen actually look like.

I trust that when I take a claw-hammer to the skull of one of these throwbacks you’ll do me the same courtesy of giving me a four month head start before coming to arrest me.

Thank You

Juan Inchcock Chambers.

Part 20: A Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe

Woes20 logo

Woes 01 coop

Co-op House Nottingham

I was working at the Nottingham Cooperative Society’s Co-op House on Upper Parliament Street, in the food hall, as general dogsbody, and not very popular goffer.

Woes20 011 cave

The Caves

On my first day I was sent down to the cellars (Tunnels come caves) below the building, to lay mouse traps and rat poison, in an effort clear the place of the little mites. An order I thought a little out of the ordinary, but I followed them, collected the traps and poison, and went down into the bowels of the building to do my duty. (Little realising that the staff had set up a tape recording of eerie sounds, thinking it would be fun to scare me to death!)

I soon spotted the ‘Bush’ tape recorder after hearing the sounds it emitted, and carried on laying the traps and poison pots. By the time I’d finished, there were already some dead rats in a few of the traps.

Full of myself, I extricated a larger one from the trap, and carrying it in my outstretched hand, re-entered the store warehouse smiling and grinning, saying to I thought the mates I’d left assembling orders fro delivery, thinking I being rather droll and witty: “‘Ere you are then, dead as a dodo, we can put it in the mincer with the beef un make some money… haha…”

I stopped as soon as I realised the area shops inspector was stood directly in front of me!

I managed to get another job with Tesco.

Pat Phoenix’s Visit to Tesco

Woes20 01 pat

Pat Phoenix as Elsie Tanner

Tesco on Granby Street in Nottingham, had arranged a promotional visit from Pat Phoenix, who at the time was playing the part of the very popular feisty Elsie Tanner in Coronation Street. She was supposed to sign autographs for ten minutes, and then do a mock shop to impress the public.

It was utter pandemonium, we had earlier built a wall of Heinz soup boxes covered in colourful crepe paper, behind which we had placed a table and chair for her to sit on and greet her fans, and offer her signature to them. (With her very large body guard stood next to her)

So many emotional fans turned up, we had to get all the male staff on the shop floor, to try and control them as they all wanted to speak to her first. At one time, we all linked arms to try and stem the rush of the dear old biddies from causing physical damage to the Ms Phoenix, it was like a football match at times.

Woes 20  02cigsShe and her bodyguard chain smoked throughout the time Pat was signing her signature for her fans. Rothman’s King Size they both smoked.

After about 40 minutes, she was able to escape the confines of the table and chair, did a very quick pretend shop, took her cheque, and left.

As she was leaving, I noticed that the soup boxes had their crepe paper coverings torn apart, and the tins were crushed and spread out on the floor during the melee. At this point, I also realised that I had blood coming from my ear-hole, and running down my white coat.

A few days later, a photographer, who had been taking pictures of the event on the day, came in, to find the staff in the photos he’s taken to sell them a print.

One of the girls (Kathleen, I remember Kathleen… sorry…) pointed out to me a particular photo; it was taken when I was in the line of staff trying to stem the flow of women, and it showed an old lady, about 5 stones and 4 foot tall, just about to push the pointed end of her rolled up umbrella into my ear-hole, in her efforts to get through to her soap opera idol!

Well at least I now know why I had to have four stitches in my lug-hole!

More Tesco Tales to follow…

Inchcock Today: Friday 1st August 2014

Friday 1st August 2014

03 01

Cautionary Introduction by Inchcock’s psychiatrist Dr Uppopo Smyth-Robinson, MRCPsych, FRCPsych

Friday 1st August 2014

What a flaming night, I wus awake more than asleep… until it came time to gerrup, then I fell asleep! Cor blimey.

The cramps were ‘orrible, the nightmares every time I nodded off fer a few minutes, the angina, the piles… but hey-ho, I’m still ‘ere. (Well, I think I am… what is reality after all? – summat different to every person innit like?… is it?)

Took the bins out fer me and me neighbour – noticing how she had artistically decorated hers with maggots inside and out. I thought the bin men… sorry, I should have said Council Waste Management and Disposal Technician, would refuse to empty it – but no, he did? Nothing to do with her being a suntanned, nubile young thing that looks like a model and know it you think?

Set to work on me blogging and emails.

Gorra wash shave and brush-up, and had a walk into town. Then a hobble around town. Took some photo’s: One of a van driving down the pavement with his hazard lights on delivering?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERACaught the bus home, and read a letter that I got from Age Concern- very nice detail about their ‘Age Concern Funeral Plan’ that I took out with em.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Naughty driver…

Promised a 28 day money back guarantee! Lot o’ good that’ll do me when I’ve croaked… unless they bury me alive and I get out of the grave and claim me money back! Hehehe!

When I got back to the house, it pored with rain, I observed a  gang of six yobs in the opposite gateway across from me house. Four bigguns and two little uns. The rain stopped after a few minutes, but so did they. Kicking footballs and threatening passing drivers for nearly an hour.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAI kept out of the way, cause they might have been the ones that mugged me last year, and now I’m in fear.

After they had gone, I updated this tosh, with the photo on the left, not a good one, but it proves they were there.

Made up some black bags of unwanted stuff for Sister Jane and Brother-in-law Pete, who will kindly sort it out for me. Phoned PEte, told him what was happening, and that the bags were ready at his convenience.

Oh ‘eck… I’ve missed me evening medications with all this hassle. Never mind, only an hour late, should be okay.

TTFN all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Inchcock Today – Thursday 31st July 2014

Awoke around 0500hrs, and greeted another wonderful day of excitement, jubilation, hopes, dreams, adventure, hysteria, passion and happiness.

Or, if you want the real truth, depression, accidents, frustration, discomfiture, vexation, pain, chagrin, nervousness, fear, loneliness, faux pas and decay. But I wont mention them.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Me hole…

Gorrup and entangled wiv me blog posting graphics and creations.

When I went out to take some stuff to the bins, I noticed the Virgin Media hole in the pavement was gerrin bigger… oh dear!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The cunning step that moves?

Then after feedin’ the birds, on my return to the hovel, I managed to trip ‘Up’ the step to the door. I now have a very pretty scrape down me right shin, and a bruised chin. Oh, that rhymed. Tsk!

Put some cream on me wounds, and while doing so, the tube burst!

Still, it didn’t bleed much, which means me Warfarin level might be a bit low… or is that high? Never mind.

While bending to clean up the antiseptic cream wot I squirted on the floor, Arthur Itis made an appearance in me knees. (Huh, and it had been so good up until then today)

Knees too painful fer meto pick up the seeds wot I split when ups-a-daisying up the door-step wot I swear moved on its own.

Received an email from me mate in America, Andy, with a funny in it that I thought deserved graphicalisating ( I know, no such word, but I like it) a bit:

04 01

I wonder who the modelled for the original artist/photographer?

Went off to town to see if HMV had got DVD I ordered in yet. “The Big Job” Made around 1959 I think, can’t find a date on the box. Comedy with Sid James, Sylvia Syms, Dick Emery, Jim Dale and other old comedy actors. Looking forward to watching it later on next week. after a long walk around Victoria Centre looking for the store that had relocated, I found someone official and asked him where it had moved to, naturally had moved to the only part I’d not walked through looking, at the far end of here I stopped and asked the bloke.

Feet humming a bit now, despite this I had a walk around town with the intention of taking some photo’s for putting on here. I remembered to take the camera, but early this morning when I was taking some off of it to put on here, I left the flippin’ thing on and it went flat… oh what a superior nit-wit I am.

Termination of compilation of the days activities at 1610hrs. Will commence tomorrows Inchy Today from that time, providing I remember to, the BT connection does not fail again, and the old laptop doesn’t die a sad death of course.

Made a cuppa and finished this off. TTFN all… 

Inchy Today – 29th July 2014

GCcapback2Today started off fair – then went pear-shaped and frustrating, then gained a bit of satisfaction.

Me pains were far less than yesterday’s were. No blood from me ablutions (apart from a bit when I cut missen shavin’ – Tsk!)

I spent ages and ages creating graphics for me Political post – then the computer crashed! Restarted. The internet went down. Shit, bother and… never mind, I lost it all. Grrr! Bloody BT!

2testimonial

Inchy’s School Leaving testimonial 

I went out to the hospital, calling in the council offices on the way to beg if they could find me sheltered accommodation somewhere nearby to live in, and the nice chap made me an appointment to see another bloke this afternoon. Nice.

Then to the hospital, and got tended to quickly, booked in again for next week.

Then back to town, and caught the bus to ‘Bread and Lard island’ West Bridgford, to see me Sister Jane and brother-in-law Pete. He’s very nearly finished all his decorating now.

I had a dizzy walking from the bus and veered into some trees, opening me wounds on me mush. Double Tsk!

2report

Inchy’s Last school report

Enjoyed me cuppa and natter, then Pete came in with a locked box they had been keeping for me and opened it – guess what, me school leaving testimony from the head master, and me last year report was in it! He took a photo of em, and emailed to me at home. Interesting… or not seeing the low grades wot I got… apart from English where I came top… I say top… first! Yahoo!

Caught bus back home, called in Tesco and Chinese shop to try and get some cheese seaweed, but none available. Treble Tsk!

Got back to the flea-pit, and worked on some posts for a bit, scared the laptop would fail me again.

Jane rang later to see how I was, and that was appreciated.

Ah well, as my Dad used to say: “It’s an ill wind that fails to find too many cooks on a Wednesday afternoon!”

TTFN all.

Inchy

Part 14: A Nottingham Lad’s True Tales of Woe – Inchy’s Sporting Highlights

Woes13 01

My only Football Match for Meadows Old Boys

Woes13 03I actually managed to get into the Meadows Old Boys Junior football team for one match, a cup match against Corpus Christie at Wilford.

Okay, it was during a mass epidemic of Asian flu and there were not enough ‘proper’ players to make up a team, but I got there, and took part in a record breaking match in more than one way too!

Firstly, it was my first ever time to get a match – come think of it, it was the only time I ever got a match!

The 13-0 score line was the biggest in the Thursday League up until that time!

It was their biggest ever win, and Meadows Old Boy’s biggest ever defeat!

 My only Football Match for my School House team

Woes13 02A few weeks later, (the flu epidemic was still rampant) I got into the school house team for a match on our Green Street pitch behind the pavilion.

Determined not to let myself or the house down, I ran out proudly with the number 3 on my back, my boots up to my kneecaps, shirt sleeves hanging around my ankles, and the studs digging through the boots into my feet. (Yes you’ve guessed it, they didn’t supply any tackle like the club did).

Nothing was to get passed me, I was resolved! Anyway, after they scored their fifth goal, three of them from their nippy winger who I just could not touch – I came up with a plan!

I would get him sent off!

I waited until play stopped for a throw in, stood next to him, bearing in mind I was a good 12″ shorter than he was, noticing the ref was behind him, I clutched my face, and went on a self-imposed crumble to the ground.

It worked a treat, and the lad was sent off! I was a hero… me!

They didn’t score again, fair enough we didn’t either, but the lads in my team actually spoke to me as we left the pitch!

After showering, I walked around the back of the dressing room, and as I turned the corner to go past where the coke for the boiler was stored – suddenly nothing!

I woke up in the ambulance, hurt and muddled, as I realised my right eye was painful and closed, and blood was coming out of my nose and cut bottom lip.

It transpires that the nippy winger was not best pleased with my play acting, and was waiting near the coke pile with a shovel as I turned the corner, he whacked in the face with it!

Looking back, I cannot blame him, and I decided I’d never cheated again.

My Boxing Début: Ahead on points…

Woes13 03aAnother chance for me to prove my sporting prowess came in the boxing competition.

I’m not sure how they graded the competitors, but I (all 4ft 2in and 4 stone soaking wet of me) was matched against a 5′ 8′ 10 stone dude! The school Gym master in his corner, and the caretaker in mine?

The bell (whistle) sounded, and I prayed I wouldn’t burst into tears if he actually hit me.

To my own amazement, he rarely made contact with his roundhouse swings, and I found myself well ahead on points with my jabs and occasional upper cuts (Not that they hurt or bothered him at all).

At the end of the third round, Bob (The caretaker and teller of fibs) told me to go for his stomach as he thought that was a weak area – so I did, managing to despatch my best ever punch, and I recall thinking how much it hurt my hand – the next thing I recalled was waking up in the showers.

Apparently it was such a good blow, that it made the dude so angry, and I never saw his punch coming.

So, it was off to the Children’s Hospital for an x-ray on my hand, and broken nose.

I was plonked on a trolley to await my turn in the queue, as I was a little dizzy still. I’m not sure how long I waited, but I fell asleep I think, or must have moved, and fell off the trolley onto the marble floor.

So they x-rayed my ankle at the same time as the hand and nose, which was just bruised, but the ankle was badly sprained.

Now this naturally worried both mummy and daddy – mummy wanted to know if I could still go nub-ending for her, and daddy showed anxious concern that I could still do my double paper-rounds! Dad said “Surely you can still ride yer bike?”

I explained that dear mummy sold my bike two weeks earlier. (Dad had always been observant).

Determined that I should continue with my duties to the household, he went out to his cobbling bench, got some wood out of the coal-house, and supplied me with a knobbly home-made walking stick! (Which was more than the hospital did)

When I returned to the Children’s Hospital to have the wadding removed, (Mummy would have come with me but it was double money winnings at the bingo club that day) they decided I had to have another tetanus jab, and believe me, in those days the needle was more like a sword! It seemed to me that it was about a foot long, anyway after the nurse said “What a brave little boy, even if you have got holes in your socks and shoes, you didn’t even cry at all!”

Well, it’s hard to cry when you’re as frozen with fear as I was!

I put my sporting career on hold after that… come think of it, it’s still on hold. Hehehe!