Inchcock Today: 14-15th Sept 2014

HTopDiarySunday 14th September 2014

A few springing awakes, in response to bodily calls for the WC overnight. I forced missen up at 0445hrs. Blood all over me lower regions again, I wus a bit concerned for a while, but it stopped after a little attention.

01M002WC.

Made cuppa, took medications.

WC.

I spent so long trying to sort out me Coreldraw problem, again without the slightest hint of any success. It’s all beyond me yer know.

Monday 15th September 2014

Not so good this morning, angina very bad and dizzy spells rampant, may have to go see the GP methinks.

I was up at 0505hrs after another night of nightmares and WC visits. Juan is getting fed up with this now.

Hard to concentrate this morning.

Now the guts have started rumbling again. Tsk!

WC.

Cuppa, WC and laptop started. Had another go at trying to find out what was the matter with Coreldraw9, but not knowing what I was doing didn’t help at all.

Beautified myself as best I could, washed, teggies, shaved, clean togs etc, and got things ready for my hospital visit for Warfarin level tests.

I set off to take some things to the Nottingham Hospice Charity Shop, (DVDs togs and cutlery).

Got as far as the end of the street, then returned to put me hearing aids in.

01M001Set off again… then returned to the hovel to retrieve the bag of stuff for the Hospice that I’d left when I returned to put me hearing aids in… Tsk again!

Hobbled into Sherwood to the Hospice shop, (Bit of traffic about this morning) then caught bus into town and went into the pound shop for a gander.

01M02Got some desserts to add to the things for the nurses treats at the Queens Medical Centre Haematology dep’t. I like to treat em and make em smile yer know.

When I came out of the Pound Shop, I came across a Greek chap selling fish and chips from his van, and a Mobility Scooter driver, who had left his scooter in the middle of the avenue, and was busy stood 01M04there digesting his nosh, while others had to walk around his deadly scooter, and cars had to wait until he’d finished his nosh. Amazing really innit?

I caught bus out to the QMC, and saw a sports car that had left the road and ran into a wall. Emergency services were there.

01M05Dropped off the bus, and wandered up to the entrance – to find that yet again the fire alarm had activated, and a mass of bodies: ambulance team members, patients who had nipped out for a fag in the No Smoking Area, out-patients, visitors and, judging by how many shoulder-charged me as they belted passed me when we were allowed to enter, Olympic sprinters and rugby players!

I hid in a corner and let em get through, then hobbled in and got me ticket. All done in five minute of entering the dept, I limped to the bus stop and caught a bus to 01M01Bulwell – in the hope of getting some more Microwave sausages and any other cheapo offers. But, there were neither available.

A mobility scooter personage drove passed a stall and knocked some stuff off the display – he never paused at all, just drove on to scare someone else…

But at least none of the deadly mobility scooter drivers got me today.

01M06

I might regret saying that later…

Back to the bus station, and caught bus back to the hovel.

When I got in and settled, the yobs appeared on the street… so I went upstairs and got me head down early.

Inchcock Today: Sun 17th Aug 2014

Today subhead

Saturday 16th August 2014

Got to bed late last night, still managed to get some kip, and only one getup for the WC (No blood)

I woke up with a searing pain at the left back hand side of my jaw. I gingerly moved my mouth and a sharp pain came for the first three times I tried to move it – on the forth it dissipated, and after a while, no pain at all?

Angina, back passage, Arthur Itis, Reflux valve, Ulcer and Kidneys seemed no problem at this time.

Gorrup and started laptop, kettle on and made a cuppa and pot of porridge, then off to the WC again (All okay).

The laptop had still not started when I got back – I fear the old girl might be on her last legs. (Oh dear!)

Stopped drinking tea from here on today: as I was planning to go and see my Sister Jane, and hubby Pete. I intend to take some photos when I get there, to use in Janeyocreating a hopefully funny post about the visit.

Set off to the bus stop, caught bus to town.

Caught bus to West Bridgford. Poddled around the shops and bought some vegetable casserole and a rather tasty looking Mushroom Potato caramelised onion meals that appealed.

Walked to Jane’s, via a different route than normal: eventually found my way and arrived.

JP001

We had a good natter, and I remembered to take the photo’s Jane and Pete posed magnificently for them.

JP7Took some of their new posh ceiling lamp wot they got, and the three portraits of rams on the wall. Yes, they are of a rather higher class than wot I am yer know.

Eventually I departed, for the long long walk into Nottingham, via a route passed some old haunts.

By the time I’d gone about two miles, me feet and knees were ahurtin’, and I had to find a toilet.

I took some interesting photos though.

In town, I struggled the last few hundred yards to the bus-stop, and alighted on me way back to the flea-pit.

No yobs about, thankfully.

WC.

Finished and Posted blogs, and then just had to get me head down, I wus well shattered.

Sunday 17th August 2014

Up at 0600hrs, after actually getting some sleep in for once. Just a shame I had to knacker missen walking for miles to get it. Tsk!

Still aching a bit in places, but still, at least I got some kip in.

WC, no blood.

Hobbled down and put the kettle on and started laptop.

WC.

Made a cuppa, couldn’t face eating yet. Not like me at all?

Tiredness came over me.

JP FueyPete emailed me a photo wot he took of Fuey – their lovely 89 year old in human age cat.

Took me medications, and started to create this rubbish.

I intended to do blogging (or preparation for blogging) all day. Well, I enjoy it yer know, I’m harmless really.

Inchcock Today: Friday 15th Aug 2014

Up at 0505hrs.

Started laptop, made a cuppa, Grape-nut Flakes and took medications.

Worked on preparing Woes 24, graphic creating was a problem, due to the high memory needed.

Went up and did me ablutions (No blood, very little pain, looking good).

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Mansfield Road on me walk into town.

About 1215hrs, set off on me walk into town. Nice weather.

I called in the launderette to see Mandy as I passed. Well, she idolises me yer know… (Well she spoke to me anyway.)

I went into Tesco to get me wholemeal wraps.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Took this photograph from the bus as we passed me hospital. (Yer can see me camera reflection… all planned of course. [Ahem])

Caught bus to Derby. Fed the pigeons, quick walk around, then caught bus to Mansfield. (Gawd bless the free bus pass!)

At Mansfield, I had a walk around the market.

Then nipped into B and M stores,  got some curried beans on offer at 3 for a quid, and some porridge pots at 39p each. (By gum I live well!)

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Mansfield – Arghh!

Noticed a new Mobility Scooter shop had opened (Or it has always been there but Inchcock didn’t notice?)

Started to get a bit dark, rain threatening.

Caught the bus back to Carrington and the hovel. Traffic very bad and slow, driver thought there must have been an accident somewhere in the road-works.

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Mansfield – Gerrin dark now!

Just before I alighted the bus, the heavens opened.

A very soaked Inchcock got in about 1750hrs.

Started the laptop, made a cuppa (Thompson’s excellent strong brew), and started sneezing a lot?

Updated this tosh.

Made a second cuppa, and dropped the milk while doing so. Tsk!

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Inchcock gets Soaked!

Noticed letter had been delivered (No I don’t know why I didn’t notice it before) Got to make appointment to go see the GP? Dang dang dang dang… what now methinks!)

I’ll nip there in the morning… oh that’ll be Saturday… do they open then? I’ll go Monday.

Sorry this issue of Inchcock Today is a bit bland, but even I can’t be having disasters every day… can I?

TTFN all.

Inchcock Today: Wednesday 13th 2014

Jane01carInchcock is going (Hopefully) to visit his Sister Jane and Brother-in-law Pete today. As you can see, Pete is not a fan of shavers, razors or Gillette at all. Inchcock is excited about his trip out, and looking forward to it with great enthusiasm and trepidation. The ‘Trepidation’ comes via his dream last night about wild mobility scooters on the rampage, and his excruciatingly agonising harrowing death at the hands of one of them!

1600hrs Tuesday11th  August

Yobs on street. WC. Moved upstairs, read book, watched DVD, and had nibbles.

13 8 medsWednesday 13th August:

More bad dreams. Up at 0500hrs. WC.

Started the laptop. Had breakfast (Medications) and a cuppa.

Blogged and emailed for a while.

Arthur Itis, angina and lower regions not feeling too bad at the moment. The reflux valve a bit bothersome like.

WC, glad to report all well in this activity OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAthis morning – No blood, No pain.

Updated this load of true baloney.

Got ready and set out to go to Jane’s house. Very busy in city centre. Caught 2nd bus out, and had a natter with Jane and Pete.

 

Said I was wanting to take their photo, but I OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAlost the plot and forgot to take it. Tsk!

 

Caught bus back after an hour or so, and had a walk around town, then caught bus to Derby. I had a poddle about in the Eagle Centre Market. Noticed there wus a lot lot Disabled Scooter folk about – and today they were in twos!

RedArrowFolk didn’t seem too happy today, but then there were plenty of yobs around acting in an intimidating fashion.

 

Fed the pigeons, avoiding the skateboarders belting around – bloody school holidays!

 

Caught bus back to Nottingham, then bus to the hovel.

 

Would you believe it, straight outside the house, 6 yobs swearing threatening and kicking a football about.

 

I brought me laptop up to the bathroom, where I’m doing this.

 

Didn’t want to call the police, as last time when I did, the clot of a Constable came straight to the house and knocked on the door, while they were looking – so they knew who called em. The next day I was attacked as I went out for a walk to the chemist. I didn’t see the youths as they came from behind, but I reckon it was them.

 

Finishing now, nervous and frettingly.

TTFN 

Inchcock Today: Mon 11th August 2014

Inchletter02We’re a bit worried about Inchy today folks. He seems in a reasonable mood. Never mind, something is bound to bring him back down to earth with a bump. Talking of bumps, he had the one near his.. on his.. the one that appeared last month. The clinic surgically removed it last week, but he didn’t tell you about it because he was a bit embarrassed do you see. Well… the last few days really, nowt exciting enough to write about yer see…

Saturday 9th August

Oh, dear, WC visits throughout the night.

Woke up 0510hrs with cramps and fears from the nightmares I’d had..

Trundled down and put laptop on, then kettle on, then made cuppa and porridge, then took me medications… then waited for the laptop to finish booting up! Oh dear, I’m lost without me internet yer know.

Had to reboot laptop again, to get the internet going and letting me load wordpress with top bar on screen. By now, me cuppa and porridge were cold, so made another brew… While pouring it out, I had a dizzy spell, and managed to pour boiling water over me fingers. Applied water then olive oil to the tender red patches on me digits… oh, I think I swore a bit as well.

Posted Inchcock Today’s, then worked on graphics for another post.

Spent the whole day internetting on blogs and making graphics, it were grand it were.

Come early evening, I was drained mentally. (Poor old devil/thing).

Sunday 10th August

Up at 0430hrs. WC.

Laptop booted, kettle on, medications taken, WC, bowl of Grape-nut Flakes… then waited a further few minutes for the laptop to finish loading. I’m gerrin’ worried the old gal is about to conk-out… oh, lost without me internet yer know. Mind you, I might beat her to it yet.

Storms, rain and hibernation wus the order of things today.

Got no-end of blogging done again.

Monday 11th August

Up at 0400hrs, WC. (Bit of blood) A new twinge today to join me compilation of complications – stomach ache (Not the ulcer or reflux valve this time).

Laptop started.

WC visit, had to change me bandage.

Down, made a cuppa and took me medications.

Finally got me graphics finished for me ‘Inchcock’s Tips/Advice for those Approaching Old Age’ post, by gum it took ages.

I’ve been having a few more dizzy spells recently, and last night, I forgot to take me medications – this morning, no dizzies at all? Perhaps this is indicationistcal that one of me night medications might have been causing the problem – but which one? (See what a keen diagnostic mind I have today?)

Went up and dun me teggies, washed me tootsies, had a good shave, washed me horrendous torso, applied me Dermatological cream in the require places, changed me bandage, applied me ear-hole spray and took me midday medications.

Another cuppa, and I set off for the hospital. Got the bus today to town, then out to the QMC.

I wus seen to quickly, and out in half an hour or so. (No prodding or groping today – Drat!)

It wus piss.. pouring down when I got out, so instead of walking to town, I caught the bus there.

I remembered I wanted to have a look in the library for a book what Antony Beever had used for reference hen he wrote ‘Stalingrad’.

It was called ‘They Never Came Back’ by Siegfried Muhler. I hobbled up three flights of stairs and asked at the desk. The nice lady eventually told me it might be out of print. I should try a book store. So I did.

First I limped to Wesley Owen Books & Music, on Castle Gate. No luck.

Then to Waterstone’s on Bridlesmith Gate. They think it’s out of print.

Then WHSmith in Victoria Centre. No luck.

Along I staggered to Mary & Tony’s Books also in Victoria Centre – the nice lady there said she may be able to get me a copy in Romanian if I wanted?

I gave up.

2reportPottered around the City Centre a bit, and took a photo of the Council House – and very nearly copped it again with a Disabled Scooter nearly hitting me as I took the photo! Tsk!

Then into Tesco and got some Wholemeal bread wraps and a pack of Hunter’s sausage, and Torunska sauage. Then, after I’d paid the very weary looking chap on the checkout for them, I remembered I’d ordered a pack of Silesian sausage for delivery from Morrison’s. Well, at least I won’t have to buy any meat for the rest of the week, or even longer.

I wandered gingerly up to the bus stop, and caught the bus back to the hovel.

As I dropped off the bus, I remembered I’d not made an appointment for next week with the hospital. Ah well, it’ll give me run out another day.

I got in.

 Got the laptop on, and updated this tosh.

I did some graphics in readiness for later blogs.

Went up and changed me shoes fer me slippers – the stubbed me toes on the way down stairs.

Hey-ho…

Inchcock’s Advice/Tips for those approaching Old Age

Inchy’s Advice, Support & Tips for those entering old age

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Inchcock, just before his last arrest

This article, was designed by the effervescent, disconsolate, decrepit, depressed Juan Inchcock (68), to offer help, support, succour and advice to those of the population who are entering their late 60’s – in an effort to lessen the culture-shock suffered by many, when they also might suffer from; loneliness, depression, being mugged, incontinence, arthritis, angina, sticking reflux valve, long term memory loss, lost hearing and eyesight, cramps and being overcharged for what bits of food they can afford to buy from Lidl, the Pound Shop and Aldi stores.

Inchy’s intention is to pass on his experiences in the hope that others will be more betterer prepared than wot he was for caducity, feebleness and fatuity!

Things wot you will miss and why!

SS01catYou Will Miss:

Kicking the cat.

The Reason/Why:

She’s just too quick for you nowadays!

You Will Miss:

Releasing a safe, controlled, intentional, emission of wind.

The Reason/Why:

Too risky nowadays! What with the medications as well?

SS 002You Will Miss:

Waiting for ten minutes for the TV to warm up.

The Reason/Why:

They tell me the new TVs warm up in under five minutes nowadays. If you’re like me, you can’t afford one or the licence anyway!

You Will Miss:

SS TVsOn the Goggle-box: Wagon Train, Dixon of Dock Green, No Hiding Place, Danger Man, Beat the Clock, Bill & Ben The Flowerpot Men, with Little Weed, Cannonball, Double Your Money, Daktari, Armchair Theatre, The Army Game, The Billy Cotton Bandshow, The Black and White Minstrels, Emergency Ward 10, Fabian of Scotland Yard, The Grove Family, Hancock’s Half Hour, Harry Worth, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Interpol Calling, Lunchbox, Maigret, The Phil Silvers Show, Quatermass, Double Your Money, Saber of London, Scotland Yard, Six-Five Special, Sunday Night at the London Palladium, The Avengers, The Third Man, Dial999, The Human Jungle, Casey Jones, The Bill, The Sweeney, Dads Army, The Saint, Man in a Suitcase, Are You Being Served, One Foot in the Grave, The Worker, The A Team, The Persuaders, Hetty Wainthropp Investigates, Yes Minister, Steptoe & Son, ‘Allo ‘Allo!, Blott on the Landscape, Bootsie and Snudge, The Brittas Empire, The Dick Emery Show, The Dustbinmen, Duty Free, Ever Decreasing Circles, The Rise & Fall of Reginald Perrin, It Ain’t Half Hot Mum, The Good Life, Keeping Up Appearances, The Likely Lads, Love Thy Neighbour, Nearest and Dearest, Robin Hood with Richard Greene, Porridge, The Piglet Files, Goodnight Sweetheart, Rising Damp, The Eric Sykes Show, Till Death Us Do Part, Columbo, Heartbeat, Z-Cars, The Adventures of William Tell, Auf Wiedersehen Pet, Candid Camera, Darling Buds of May, Emergency Ward 10, The Detectives, To the Manor Born, Fawlty Towers, Inspector Morse, Juliet Bravo, Mind Your Language, Special Branch, Never Mind the Quality Feel the Width, Oh No, It’s Selwyn Froggitt!, Paul Temple, Porridge, Open All Hours, The Professionals, Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased), Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em, The Sooty Show, Van der Valk, Waiting for God, and perhaps my three personal favourites: Rumpole of the Bailey, Open All Hours and The Morecambe and Wise Show!

The Reason/Why:

Because even if you had a TV set now, your short term memory would ensure you forget what you’ve watched ten minutes earlier, but you can recall the 1950s/60s stuff easily!

You Will Miss:

The attention of the opposite sex!

The Reason/Why:

Nothing left to attract them, what with baldness, the limp, deafness, your odour, and your having forgot what or how to do it anyway – I find a little comfort in just trying to remember that night at the back of the pictures in 1962 with Grizelda Freudenberger?

SS 07 12.5pYou Will Miss:

Going out with a half-crown, (2/6d) (12.5p) to the pictures, having an ice-cream or sucker, travelling both ways on the trolleybus, and still having change when you got home!

The Reason/Why:

It would cost around £29 to do similar today, and you cannot afford it!

You Will Miss:

Queuing up at; the dance hall – the bowling alley – the football ground and other places. Where you actually met and spoke to real people.

The Reason/Why:

No one really wants to talk to you nowadays. Today you queue up at the Benefits Office, the GP surgery, and the Out-of-date cheap food shop!

You Will Miss:

Making financial donations without flinching!

The Reason/Why:

Today, the staff at Lidl take it from you by overcharging, you do not flinch until you get home and realise they have done so again!

You Will Miss:

The pangs in the stomach when a nubile young gal touches you, smiles and says yes!

The Reason/Why:

The pangs will be indigestion, angina, or wind nowadays, and no females look at you, smile at you (apart from out of sympathy), or says yes!

SS GC vanYou Will Miss:

Taking a drive out in the countryside.

The Reason/Why:

They took away your licence on medical grounds, (I keep falling asleep, on busses, trains, when sitting, I even fell asleep in the Dentists chair last year!) And anyway, I couldn’t afford a car nowadays.

You Will Miss:

The odd Politician you could believe.

The Reason/Why:

They no longer exist!

SS 09 AckerYou Will Miss:

Nat King Cole’s singing, Will Hay’s films and Acker Bilk’s Trad Jazz.

The Reason/Why:

There will never be replaced, only mimicked; a bit like you?

You Will Miss:

The excitement of seeing shoplifters caught when you’re out shopping in the department stores!

The Reason/Why:

So commonplace today everywhere, and you cannot afford to shop any-way.

You Will Miss:

Remembering where it was you had set out to go to.

The Reason/Why:

You should still be able to do this about 30% of the time on average. If you do get confused, check to see if it was any of these: The Doctors Surgery – The Hospital Cardiac Unit – The Benefits Office – The Hearing Aid Centre – The Cheap food shop – The Pound Store – The Opticians or The Charity Shop. It is unlikely to be anywhere else.

SS 08 PipeYou Will Miss:

Having a pint and your pipe.

 

The Reason/Why:

The Doctors will have told you not to drink alcohol, and definitely not to smoke your pipe any-more. Tsk!

Inchcock Misses His Walk into Nottingham

Walk 001

Juan Inchcock, our 68 year old Nottingham correspondent and unemployed Gas Street lamp wick trimmer, found himself housebound the today.

Partly due to his arthritis, angina, losing his free-bus-pass and walking stick, the flapping holed sole of his right shoe, and the lousy wet weather.

He was straining a thrice-used Asda Smartprice tea bag, when he thought about what he might be missing on his cancelled wonderful walks through his beloved Nottingham.

He takes up the story… no hang on, he’ll take up the story when he returns from the loo.

(Whistle whistle…)

Ah here he comes….

 Inchcock explains all

I feel rather sad really, realising the many things I had come to expect to see and enjoy on my daily hobble into Nottingham and by bus-ride back home again.

The things I miss most

Walk02* The skills I’ve acquired over the years in avoiding the dog phoo and broken bottles on the way to the main road.

* Checking for the gangs of yobs, and taking a different route.

* The skilful way I avoid the stones thrown at me, and ignore having my parentage questioned by the little mites in the playground as I pass the Junior school.

* Passing the many Pay-Day loan outlets is a bit depressing though. Not often I see any customers in them, but they always seem to be someone smoking, with a pram with toddler and beer cans in it, and a few kids with them. The kids are usually trying their best to destroy the furniture in the office.

* The pleasure of guessing to myself, where the next road blocked off while the police investigate the murder, stabbing, or fire-bombing that took place the previous night will be situated.

* Using my vast experience and skills in spotting and avoiding the beggars, Big Issue sellers, and pickpockets as I approach the city centre.

* Observing the playful way in which the shoplifters are occasionally removed from the stores into the police vehicles.

* Popping into the 99p store to be short-changed, sneered at and overcharged, I have to appreciate their consistency.

* Moving along to the Pound shop and getting out without physical injury is very rewarding – reminds me of jumble sales in the 1960’s.

* The St Peter’s Church area. Where one can find Jehovah’s witnesses, Muslims’ and of odd Christian spouting their beliefs.

* The clever way in which I take the routes less likely to be shat on by the pigeons, not always successfully I admit… all this experience is invaluable.

* To stand and watch Himmler, the parking attendant, with his chest out, and weighed down with all his pouches, machines, and tackle around his midriff, strutting up and down Mansfield Road, as he totally ignores cars parked on the pavement, and in the disabled bay. I often wondered if his ticket machine actually works, I’ve never seen him use it yet this year (or last year come to that!).

* The lunchtime drunks falling out of the pubs can be entertaining too.

Walk 003* I often wonder if I am the only person to see the drug dealing going on in the city library and McDonald’s.

* Avoiding the gangs of lager swilling pot smoking scary looking gentlemen who gather outside of the three benefit offices in the city centre is an essential part of surviving a walk through town. But I have to take care not to trip over any of empty strong lager cans.

Walk 04* The gentle whiff of rotting decay rising from the canal, as the ducks try to navigate around the shopping trolleys, condoms, empty cider bottles, and bicycles to get to the bread I’ve thrown in for them is always worth a look.

* The constant melodious sound of intruder alarms, car, and emergency vehicle sirens and klaxon’s, mingle with voices and curses of people being arrested, the children swearing, and the many different languages being spoken, all blend together to create a distinctively Nottingham sound that should be appreciated.

* A quick check on the many Charity shops – but they cannot help me!

* I might pop into the Arboretum to feed the ducks, get mugged, on my way to a meeting with my financial advisor (Social Security Benefits Office).

* An essential part of my strolls through the City Centre is to count the many and ever increasing number of retail premises closed down, for sale, lease, or rent. I do a report each month for the Outer Peruvian Pregnant Kangaroo Appreciation Society’s newsletter, although they have never printed one yet.

* I’ll often stand outside Starbucks, Caffe Nero or Costa Coffee, and sniff in the aroma, watching the people inside who can afford £2.99 for a cup of the horrible stuff.

* The pleasant group of youths who congregate in the slab square near the fountains are worth a watch while I rest me weary feet and legs and eat me seaweed. I think the one with Walk 05four ear-rings, a nose ring, smudged tattoos on his neck and green dyed hair is the best of them at seeing hoe far they can spit into the paddling pool area.

* Having been hit four times my Mobility Scooters (Or the people supposedly driving them) I am on tenterhooks when in the city centre. So I have to try and keep an eye out for them while trying to keep me balance walking, and watching for potential muggers. (I’ve been mugged twice as well).

Oh I do miss my daily walk into Nottingham!

Part 22: Inchcock’s True Tales of Woe – The Night of the Storms!

W22 01

Where the Nightmare took place

So there I was, out of work.

In the old days it was easier to get another job, but all I could manage was to become a night security guard for a local company…. on £3.10 ($4.79) an hour!

W22 04

The main hall, and Pitch and Putt area

I was posted to the Co-op College, Stanford Hall, out in the country at Rempstone, on 13 hours night shifts, and a 15 mile trip each way.

W22 05 theatre

The theatre

The place was massive, duties included, patrolling all 11 buildings, restaurant, pub, archives, library, stores, computer room, reception, cash takings security, drunks, car parking, games rooms, tennis courts, golf course, the Lido, the four residential blocks (including the 244 students regular studebts), the tutors quarters, the 18 classrooms, issuing tennis and golf gear for hire, the Roman gardens, the central heating for the main block, and greeting visitors and taking them in the restaurant to serve salads to them, before guiding them to their rooms and carrying their luggage for them, manning the phones, responding to calls for assistance form pupils, tutors, bar staff, and visitors, the local police ARV vehicle, key control (there were over a thousand keys on site), the hundreds of windows on site, different timed lock-ups unlocks, setting unsetting alarms, unlocks, escorting bar staff to and from the safe with the cash, keeping drunks in order, somehow finding time for recorded patrols and responding to calls for help etc etc!

Looking back, I do not know how I managed it… but this particular night, the ‘Night of the Storms’, was a particularly horrendous night!

W22 2

Main areas of concern

1720hrs: The lightning and rain started pelting down as I drove up the main drive to the reception, to start work at 1800hrs…

As soon as the staff had shown me the keys for the night’s visitors due, and they shot off during a break in the rain.

Then it started: The first power cut!

Now this was new to me, and I knew the first thing I had to check was the Police Armed Response Vehicle garage, conveniently located at the far West end of the compound, this I did, and returned to inform the police that all was safe with it – then I rang the caretaker, to find out how to reset the boiler, all the time having to fend off enquiries from bar staff, drinkers, students, and tutors about the power cut!

I got my torch, and went into the boiler room, luckily the instructions given me by the  caretaker, sat at home watching the Morecombe and Wise show, were clear, and in about five minutes, I’d reset the boiler. After I stumbled about a bit the torch packed up. Grazed chins and a bruised head were acquired within minutes of entering the boiler room.

Back to base (reception area), to find all the flaming alarms were going off – 14 All of them I say!

It took ages, but finally I managed to get them all reset, not without a certain degree of frustration and cursing.

Then the guests arrived, and I fed them, and guided them to their rooms, they were Bulgarian, but somehow I got my messages across.

Then, I thought, ah, I’ll put the kettle on, and get me first patrol in… ‘Oh no!’ The second power cut took place!

This time I was a bit more knowledgeable as to the procedure, and went through it all again.

Then I got calls from students who were locked in the computer room, and archive rooms due to the alarm affecting the locks! So I had to go and release them, and reset the code access controls on the door.

When the bar closed, I escorted the barman with his cash to the safe, and we deposited it safely. Then I went around locking up the library, computer room, archive room, games rooms, Tutors quarters, etc.

By 1100hrs, the staff had all gone, and I hoped things would settle down a bit.

W22 03

Incident Report Sheets galore that night – oh dear…

I took the opportunity to start filling in my incident report sheets – then the third power cut struck!

It was getting hectic now, students wanting to know what was going on, stopping me, phoning me, they even rang the company (For obvious reasons I can’t mention their name here Scan Security) to say they couldn’t find me for help. The night manager contacted me on the RT. What a night!

This time I had no staff to bother me, so got it sorted relatively quickly… all bar an extra alarm that I could not identify had gone off this time! I had to phone the very unhappy at being woken up caretaker again. It turned out it was a hallway picture alarm, but we could not identify which, so I had the pleasure of going around all the halls and staircases, checking the 60 or so pictures/paintings hanging on the walls, to identify which one it was – during this, the forth power cut hit!

I went through the procedures again and then back to searching for the activated alarm on the painting. I managed to find it, and closed the contacts behind it in the hope that I could now reset it at the panel.

So back down two flights of stairs, through the main hall, back into reception to get the keys to the ‘catering managers office’, where I was informed, the panel was located for this alarm.

It was in a walk-in cupboard. I fetched the required keys; the panel was very high on the wall. I had to use a chair to stand on to reach it, but thankfully, it reset okay.

Back to reception, put away the keys, and back to my incident reports, and yes, you’ve guessed it – another power cut!

This time lightning had hit a tree outside the boiler room door, and partly blocked entry – so very sodden and frustrated, I had to haul it out of the way, but everything reset okay again… then I realised I’d forgotten to inform the Leicestershire constabulary control room that all was safe with the ARV garage… so did so, and got a mouthful for being late with the report.

I swore.

As the staff arrived in the morning, nothing looked any different to them, and I had to take the incident reports home with me to finish filling them out.

While doing this at my home, the phone rang, control had received a message from the Catering Manager at the college. It seems I had left a dirty foot-mark on the chair used while I was accessing the mystery alarm panel, and I was now to receive a written warning!

Real worried I was…

Inchcock Today: Friday 8th August 2014

It might have been dream filled, but the bit of sleep I managed was most welcome after so long without any. A plus here.

Up around 0500hrs. Me first WC visit, but blood from the back passage. A minus levelling me earlier plus there.

I put laptop on. Made cuppa, no breakfast yet, feeling a tad queasy. WC.

Set out to catch up on emails and blogs, to give meself time to get ready later to meet brother-in-law Pete in town. He’s agreed to take some photo’s of me that I can manipulate (manipulate… another word I like, don’t know why though) for later use on the blogs. This saves me repeating too many on posts.

WC. I blogged away to my heart’s content.

Got ready things for my walk to town to meet Pete – put camera in bag first, then nibbles and medications.

Fri801Off up to the bathroom for me ablutions, WC and cleansing of the teggies and body. Changed togs and off I went… after a quick visit to the WC.

I started to walk to town, nibbling me seaweed, banana and pecan nuts as I trundled along.

Near the cemetery on Mansfield road, I saw an old Rolls Royce driving towards me. I hastily got out me camera and took a shot of it – well I tried to… but a bus belted past from behind just as I was shooting it and made me jump. The Rolls Royce is located behind the bus on the photo here. Tsk!

Fri802I pressed on, and as I got near to the centre of town, I saw an ambulance with its lights flashing. I thought maybe some poor devil had been knocked down. As I drew level with the altercation on the opposite side of the road, I saw two pretend police ‘womanesses’ (CPOs) with the medics, and the bloke who had been mugged was still on the floor? Welcome to Nottingham.

Fri803Wandered to where I’d arranged to meet Pete, and there he was.

We had a wander around town, and I tried out some of what I thought were a few punch-lines on him, that I might put in a blog-post. He didn’t laugh. But as we are both a bit on the deaf side… never mind.

We went to the bus station, and Pete took some photo’s I might get me face of for a bit of graphicastionalistical fun with.

Fri0805Pete gorron his bus home, and I wandered back through town to me bus stop, taking some photos while passing through the city centre.

Being late Friday afternoon, as expected the bus was very full – but no one sat next to me in the spare seat, they stood instead? Mmmm… And I’d put me ‘Brut’ on when I had me Fri804wash… Mmmm?

Got in me street, no yobs about thank heavens.

Had several cups of tea, well I made several cups of tea. Most of em went cold cause I was deep in concentration making graphics to use later.

Made me nosh of leftover bits of ham, instant cheese mash and a tin of sweet corn, naturally I had me seaweed with it, followed by an orange lolly.