Inchcock Today: Tuesday 22nd November 2022

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01:25hrs: Porcelain Throne, a wash, a second Throne visit, got the waste bags sorted out. A couple of wee-wees while I was making a brew of Glengettie.
Got the Monday blog tackled and did it all the way through (although I anticipate a number of errors and mistakes).
Back to the Porcelain Throne again. They were all of a sloppy Trotsky Terence variety and not a lot of it.
As I was getting the Health Checks done and making the graph… and I am sure that this would amaze and stun you… But the internet went down!

Difficult to apprehend, I know. A man earning now, $26.8 million a year, plus bonus and shares, who buys Virgin Media from Mr Branson for so many billion. 24 billion, I think it was
And can’t even get a service to Nottingham that is even slightly like a reliable service?
You have to admire the number-crunching Smoke and Mirrors money manipulator.

Of course, it’ll be mainly jealousy at how much he is earning. And can’t do the job right… innit?
Also, he must be a cunningly lucky man. He’ll know the few bosses of Liberty-Global above him, and no doubt fear of his spilling the beans on them ensures that Fries keeps his job? That and the back-handers they must be giving to the financial regulators. Just thought I’d mention it. 

I thought the wee-weeing was bad now, but little did I know what was waiting for me overnight!

I got my head down and tried to relax and recuperate.
But five hours later, Mr Fries, Liberty-Global, Virgin Media had not returned Internet was not on again.

Slept and woke for an hour, with no interest, and a totally confused brain caused me much misery. At 08:00hrs, Carer Shekiel came. Nice lad, we had a natter, treats in thanks, and he took the waste bags with him.

Noisy neighbour Herbert kicked off with his concerts of noise. At least they were different this time. The usual tap tappings, intermingled with the odd cappella serenade from his drilling tones.

I reluctantly started to fo the Health Checks again
Not so good today, back up in the Hypertension-3 Red Zone. The SIA bringing a rather high figure. A shame about that.

Although I did this okayish, my tiredness and weariness returned. And my concentration was all over the place. I turned off the computer and sat down in the £300, second-hand, c1968, charity shop-bought, eyesorely-horrendously grungy coloured, Harold Haemorrhoid-testing, easily-falloutable from, unfit-for-use, not working, recliner.
All a part of the mysterious nature of Woodthorpe Court, with the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions, and other grotesqueries that haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchcock; to curse with bad luck, create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare. worry and confuse me!.

My mind was all over the place. I was hoping that ILC (Independent Living Coordinator), Oberstgrüppenfuhreress, Warden and Primo Ballerina, Warden Deana, Or ILC (Independent Living Coordinator) Generaloberstess, Ice skating champion florist and Warden Julie would find the time to get me some help on the ultra confusing instruction from the Mental Status Hospital. Even the address is confusing me.
Hazelwood House, ‘The Coppice’, Highbury Hospital, Bulwell, Nottingham.

I spent the rest of the day in the recliner; in fact, I spent 12 hours in the chair. The wee-wees slowly increased in frequency and got more and more painful, with less flowing each time!
As I said, no sleep again whatsoever.
I felt cold all night, a feeling that someone kept walking over my grave.
I made an ode in the morning for the Wednesday blog about this.

At 01:25hrs, I must have had 80 wee-wees! The total passed, would not have finked a tea mug! I started using the WC after this, hoping that it may encourage the rate of flow. It didn’t

Then I suddenly felt the cold more. I took off the jammies and put the dressing gown in the laundry bag. Then bot a thick bobble hat on my head, got a jumper on my torso, and a jacket on top of them. and a thicker pair of trousers on, and some socks… Boy, was that painful!

The rest, indeed even some of this, indeed repeated, I think, on Wednesday’s blog.

The Worst Night Ever!

Descriptive Ode Coming Tomorrow!

Monday 3rd October 2022

POLITICAL CARTOON

Mikhail Gorbachev died at the age of 91

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04:45hrs: I returned to the land of the limitation living. At the same instant, I required the attention of the . So did the balance exercises (that sounds so good, dunnit? Ha-Ha! They take about 30 seconds. Caught my balance, put the slippers on, grabbed Metal-Mickey, and started to go to the wet room? Blimey, the toes were tender this morning!

The evacuation was as soft as grease. No bleeding, and Harold’s Haemorrhoids were not stinging too much. I decided, as I often do on a morning when the Throne is needed so early, to get the ablutions done.
And the went exceptionally well, so much so that a . One cut shaving… did you read that? Grrreat!
Only the situation was of any real hurt. Mind you, I do have two of them, Humph! The fear is that will join in later on. She’s been a right nuisance these last three days.

I got Carer Richards bit on the server top; I just got the stuff from the fridge added to them later. Made a brew of Thompson’s Punjana tea and got the computer on. I was updating the Sunday blog but got another summoning to the Off to the wet room, carefully. I must avoid any stubbed toes now the ingrowing nails have started. What a difference this session! It was only 45 minutes ago when I last sat on the Throne. But this time, the evacuation was reluctant. And it needed much forceful input on my behalf to get it started. Once the bomb started escaping, it gathered great speed, hitting the water, splashing some water up my bum! As I stood to inspect the results, Hehehe! The main thing on my concentration was the pain from the toes – which soon changed. Temporary Boy had it bled! I was concerned about where the blood came from. An inspection, a blind one of course, of the rear end using the kitchen towels, and it soon became apparent that it was , but not the usual deep red, so I assumed it was the internal ones that copped for the tearing treatment? Certainly set off the stinging again.
Washing myself afterwards and , the absence for the best part of a day, kicked off. That was when I realised that Harold’s externals were torn as well… Either that or I cut them when I started performing, Which raised an interesting question; Why can’t I wipe my bottom with the left hand? I’m a lefty at writing? Just a thought, like. Finished up and went back to the computer.

The snotty neighbour from above started his banging, and I replied each time with a bang back on the top of the high bookcase. Childish, I know.

Oh, I forgot to put the photos of the early morning view on the blog. So, here they are.

How does the saying go? Red sky in the morning, Shepherds Warning – Red Sky at night, Shepherds Delight.

Arrived, and he was making out things were not too bad when I inquired if his status. But the lad was coughing, sneezing and yawning an awful lot this morning. He’s got an extra call to make.
Hehe!. I told of Fridays happening in the wind and rain, the Vampire foot girl cutting two of my ingrowing nailed toes, etc. But I gave him the short version, or I might have lost him as he fell asleep.

He left his treats until the next day. Took the three bags of waste to the chute and then returned to say a fond farewell to me. Bless him; he looked all done in.

I got the started.
The figures returned were similar to yesterday.
The body temperature was climbing again.
SYS 168, DIA 77. Pulse was still pretty high at 89.

I made an addition to the Blood Pressure Chart. I put a caricature of me using with a paintbrush on it.
Just for fun!
Another day all in the Red Zone.
This time back up to Hypertension Red – 2.
It’s not looking good.
When I went to the doctor in error last week, I mentioned this High Blood Pressure to Doctor Vindla.
She didn’t answer, speak or acknowledge that I was there.
At least she’s consistent nowadays. Tsk!
I was going to mention Doreen Dementias’ part in my life.
But what was the point?
Then I finally got the blog sent off to WordPress. Made a start proper on this blog and; started on me again. Just as I feared she may. With Anne Gyna, and then when I stand or move bothersome ingrowing toenails, I don’t think I could handle anymore at the same time.
This is bad.

At about 15:00hrs, an alarm went off, but only for a few seconds. It sounded to my ears as if it was in this room. But if it was the fire alarm for the flat, I’d have heard that, alright.

  And her stabbing pains are getting more severe all the time. I’ll see how it goes but I may dial 111 if she doesn’t ease up soon. I took a Codeine; that might help… or burst the duodenal ulcer. Fed up? Me? Hehehe.

Oh, Testicles! I took some formatted frame text from CorelDraw to the blog – and lost everything when CorelDraw crashed.
My language was sickening; I was so angry with myself!!! Grumbling, sulking, cursing… Grrr!
It took me over an hour to get it back on track. Then another two hours to get the photographs I prepped for the blog back on from the SD again. Then I start to doctoring them again. and !

What felt like a week later, I got caught up. As if to spoil my pleasure, started again, but at least she gave me a small break… or the CorelDraw disaster may have taken my mind off of her? Then:

So, I’m going to get something to eat, the evening carer will be here in a while. I got some chestnut mushroom on the boil. Added liquid smoke and salt and simmered them for ages. Then got the sausages in the oven.

Lastly, as the other stuff I hoped would be about ready, I heated some Ben’s Korean Style BBQ flavoured rice in the microwave.
This is the first (And Last!) time I’d this flavour. I got the bowl filled with what I thought looked like an appetising meal.
But, Oh, No!
Every single part of the meal tasted so strange, and a flavour rating of 1.5/10 was given after trying to eat it.
The Korean Rice was far too strong for my palette. The mushrooms tasted, I imagine, like leather! The sausages, well, they tasted nothing like the ones out of the same bag that I ate last week? Horrible is the word.
I couldn’t even eat the lemon cheesecake, one spoonful, and I felt sick! I must ask Richard to check the dates in the fridge for me, but he’s so busy.

I dished the more significant part of the meal into a food bag, a freezer bag, and a waste bag. While sealing it all up, I had a mammoth, chest-wrenching sneeze! And since then, has been in attendance! Still with me in the morning as I type this up!

Jodie arrived. Soon got the meds sorted, and I asked her to take my socks off for me, please. Got a raised eyebrow response, but she did remove them, bless her cotton socks. Chose nibbles and a drink in appreciation, taking the black bag with her to the chute as she left.

I took two photos of the view from the kitchenette window in different camera modes/settings.

They seemed to turn out pretty much the same in appearance?

The frames were different shapes.

I got settled in the second-hand, £300, c1968, overwhelmingly-sickeningly beige coloured, tatty, uncomfortable, wobbly-recliner.
The tummy rumbled, and I had to rise to have a wee-wee.
Back into the £300, second-hand, decrepit, Haemorrhoid Harold-testing, sleep deterring, nauseatingly beige-coloured, not-working recliner. And blow me, needed another wee-wee. Up again and over to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket).
Back yer again into the £300, second-hand bought, c1968, nauseously beige-coloured, not-working, rusty, rickety, crumb-holder of a tatty recliner. Mastered it this time. I was asleep in minutes… Bliss!

Inchcock Today: Another grinding one!

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I rejoined this cruel, scary, obnoxious world again at 06:10hrs. Most reluctantly, I have to admit. As I slowly worked out that I’d managed to get four hours kip in… the Thoughts Storms began to rage! Within minutes, the traditional wee-wee was wanted.

As I was freeing my elephantine body from the sweet clutches of the recliner, the acid, metal taste came up from the innards and nose? Accompanied by some nasty Dennis dizzy-bouts. I’ve been having sessions like this occasionally over the last few days. Mostly not long after waking up. More mysteries of Woodthorpe Court’s sinister Spirit’s master plan. To raise the devil, spread wonders, blunders, rodomontades, fears and descenders from the comfort of sanity into a gibbering wreck! As soon as I get help to ring the surgery, I’ll ask for a face-to-face with the doctor. Cause these do worry me a smidgeon. This one, like all those before, had cleared within ten minutes or so?

The head and throat cleared, I made for the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket), Passed a few dribbles of wee, then had to wait for ages again, with a lot of PMAD (Post-Micturition-After Dribbling) Been regular this late dribbling for a few days now. What’s going on here? Tsk!

I went to start the sphygmomanometerisationing, and I realised how painful the feet were to hobble on. I took this photo of them,
They didn’t look too bad to me. Another puzzle! Haha!
The Blood Pressure figures were a bit higher this morning. But no complaints; they have been great for about a week; some days, they’ve been spot on target.
I put the numbers in the DVT sites calculator to see what would come up this time.

Whoo-Whoo! Betterer than yesterday; and only just edging into the red area.
Pleased that something was going right. I got the waste bags made up and off to the front door, unlocking it as I did. Hobbled back to the kitchenette to get the kettle on, and ♫ Oh, Susan ♫ chimed out.

ARRIVED: I greeted the lad with as much enthusiasm as could; he seemed a little perkier today, I’m glad to say. He got the dosages sorted out and given, then checked on the stock in the medical drawer in the kitchen. Richard reminded me about the Diabetes session on Friday; bless him. No messing about today; he was off in a flash. Gave him his bottle and can from the fridge and the nibbles (Brussels pate with caramelised onion) in a bag as he departed. I hope he can get some sleep in today. He should be back tomorrow.

My supercilious, egotistic, standoffish friend from the flat above kicked of with his do-it-yourself concert. Drilling, humming, banging and clanging.

The beautiful. kind, empathetic haematology nurse arrived.
By gum, she does my heart some good, just to see her 💙. As she came in, Herbert, who must have heard the loud door-chime, ceased his noise. The gal soon got my blood taken and gave me a few minutes chinwags as she cleared her things back into the bag. I mentioned the low DIA in the Blood Pressure yesterday. In hopes that she might mention it to someone who cares enough to contact me about it. Tsk! What am I saying? Fool!

A minute after Hristina had left, Herbert was off a gain. All drilling this time, but not for long, bless him.

I got the two blogs, the Sunday Diary and Local News Snippets, finished and posted off to WP. It’s getting on for midday, and I’d not even started on this one yet! So, I went on CorelDraw to do the page top, header and Ode block… That was the plan, anyway!

and CorelDraw did worse than yesterday! Shit! It won’t let me use the keyboard for any actions. Which, of course, makes the job so much more efficient and saves time. actions. I was sinking into a Dracula Depression and felt sorry for myself… But I pulled myself together and spent four hours trying to find a way of sorting out the problem… of course. I had no idea what it was I was doing wrong in the first place.

The evening carer could be coming shortly, and I’ve not got much done at all. Without CorelDraw, I can’t get the job done. Grrr! I’d done this earlier, twice, but tried a third time!  I closed everything down slowly, turned off the computer, and decided to leave it for half an hour, at least, then try again… hopes were not good. If I have to try to reinstall the ‘programme’… well, I can’t anyway, no passwords now, it’s been years since… of shut-up Inchcock! 

Go and make a brew… that tells you how busy I’ve been, for 9 hours of getting nothing done, and this will be only my second mug of tea of the day!

Boy, did I give myself a superior toe-stubbing? Yes. I did! Agony! The right foot has come up all red and bloated… fed-up is far too calm a word to use. I can hardly walk at the moment. Humph!

It must have been an hour after going to make a brew, which I didn’t do! I got Germolene on the foot; with the aid of the picker-upper stick. Then took an extra Codeine 30g. Thought I’d have a guzzle of Peptac.

Back to the computer… nervously and prepared for heart attack, stroke or Ann Gyna seeing me off, as I find that CorelDraw is not going to have it. I started the computer up, and it was with a sinking heart. I turned it on and pressed the CorelDraw button…

It told me that another saved file has been found, ‘Do you want to open it?’ So, after a few seconds of musing, I decided I’d better, cause this just might cure the problem… y hopes foolishy increased, and I did!
Yesterday’s blog came up??? Now I was mega-confused! I did a search for today’s blog because it wasn’t in the file I usually keep it in. Baffling, innit?

As I was searching, I realised that it wasn’t yesterday’s blog… well, it was… I’m losing it here… but I keep a page for each day of the week, and for some reason or other, CorelDraw always opens on different days showing. So, I went back to the ‘Found File and opened it again. Yep, it was the right file. At this point, there was much swearing, self-hatred and belittling, and Anne Gyna kicked off worse than she had done for years! It was so bad and painful that I took an extra (Bete-Blocker) too.

Just got the results from the DVT Warfarin blood test this morning.
A little high this time, but nowt to fret about. ,
They have lowered the does over the week,
Which brought back memories of Hristina, the patient, caring Angel-Nurse, which cheered me up a good bit. ♥
Bless her cotton socks!
I ordered some of my total favourites, Ben’s BBQ sauce and cashew nuts, from Amazon. And added some Jacobs Mini Cheddars (Leicester Chees flavour) to the Iceland order.

Took a photo from the kitchen window of the puffer clouds. Oh, how I love to just watch them. I can’t help it. I even did a spot of paranoliaring. Yes, I’ve fallen foul of the phenomenon of pareidolia. Found a few as well!

Great Balls of Fire! Look at the time!, the carer will be here… Hello… Cheeky Charlie has arrived. She came into the room to tell me that she had turned of the tap that I left running in the kitchen! She didn’t like the look of me tonight and inquired if I was alright. After listening to my tale of Woe with the innards trying to come up with the metallic taste in the throat and mouth, Charlie told me to ask the Monday Carer to phone the doctor to make an appointment, reminding me that I didn’t look too good. Hehe! Bless her!

I got on with updating this blog. I might get it done before November. I’m not making any promises, though, Hahaha!
Got some chips and a veggie burger in the oven and went back to blogging. I must be feeling better, to want something to eat, don’t you thinketh?

Hopefully, the late sunsetting might come out as the chips are being out of the oven. I’ll have to finish this in the morning. The eyes are tired now.

Nosh-Time: A day out-of-date fresh cut chips (fries). Some new potatoes with basil. (I saved some for Richard in the morning in the fridge), hope that he likes them; they are rather good.
A veggie-burger. (Sadly, I can longer get any No-Bull ones [Iceland stopped stocking them], but these are okay, just not as good tasting – Sob!) 

I got on with creating another masterpiece of an ode…

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Keep Safe, Folks!

Inchcock Today – Just a graphic wot I made

Billum treats Inchcocks Ailments!

Bill & HRH

Lobotomy Sorted Out The Problems

HRH Lisa, Problem Sorter Outer, Ether-Carer to Inchcock, Electrician & Nurse (and a cracking looker) was at hand throughout the operation. First Aid box at the ready. Backing up professor Billum all the way.
The electrics and life monitorings were handled by Alan.

Billum prepared for the removal of the brain. Amazingly, Inchcock felt not a single pain! He was put at rest, by HRH covering his head area in Phorpain, and giving him an iced lolly.
The kindness showed by Billum, was gobsmacking. (They actually had to smack his gob to bring him round later, when refitting the brain and reattaching his head; but that’s for part two to come later.) Billum had thought of everything beforehand, he’d been planning this procedure for over two days, in his glasshouse laboratory.
He explained that when the brain comes out, Inchcock may not notice any difference, but not to worry.

Because a false moustache, spectacles, hearing aids, a missing many teeth plastic mouth, and a BO spray would be adorned on the brain straight away; so that it would feel at home without Inchcocks mass of blubber and accoutrements surrounding it.
He even supplied mini-walking sticks, crutches, and had the foresight to keep giving the brain a clout now and then, so, as he named him, Brian the Brain would not miss Inchcocks pains from tumbles, walking into things ad the desperate pain from the overactive bladder, Brilliant!

I’m afraid this will have to be caught up with later, because Inchcock’s eyes are too bad to continue, sorry. He may have to skip a blog or two, or just put a few words on. The poor old git is not too good at the moment. The eyes and bladder are the two main reasons.

Professor Billum started with Inchcock’s worst affected area, naturally the brain, but Billum had to take it out first.

Cheers, each.

Inchcock Today: Part Ode – with an Ailments Update

SUNDAY NIGHT

The extra handicap of the reaction to the Booster Jab; made my doing anything, taking an inordinately much longer time than usual. Thus, it was nearly midnight last night by the time I’d got the blog finished and posted. Although aching and in pain, and really needed to get some sleep. The mind and body wanted to close down. But, Inchcock, an epicurean, foodie, glutton, gourmet, chow-hounder, and well-known foodaholic, put an end to any thoughts of joining in with any Sweet Morpheusness for a while.

I foolishly started to make a belated meal, and a mini-feast it was too! At last, come around about 01:00hrs, I got it served up.

Raw fresh peas from Nigeria. (Shame the ones from Peru are not available, they were sweeter than the Nigerian ones by a mile, but beggars can’t be choosers when things are out of season) Oven-baked potato slices, tomatoes, crispy smoked bacon was the main course. The bacon was eaten in slices of milk roll bread and was dunked in some absolutely great tasting Thai sweet chilli sauce. I was satisfied with the substituted bottle; as for where I got it from, well, I’ll get some more from Amazon.

Which reminds me, I’ve got some diabetic bamboo socks delivered today. Well, that’s what I say! Bearing in mind my cock-up stroke Whoopsiedangleplop with Sainsbury’s and Morrison’s order dates, I get them arriving yesterday; when my Google calendar clear says that the Sainsbury one is coming Monday and the Morrison one on Tuesday… I’m sinking into the morass mess of mental mayhem of memory mishaps. It has to be admitted. Vascular Dementia Doreen is to blame, methinks.

Of course, you have to bear in mind that it is me we are talking about! No chance! Anyway, I feasted well, did some belching, took an extra Codeine, and flaked out on the recliner searching for sleep…

MONDAY MORNING

Sleep as I recall it, when I got up for my fifth wee-wee, at 03:00hrs, seemed far away, a luxury denied me again! Thought Storms Stewart kicked of the instant the eyelids drooped and threatened to nod off. It’s incredible how many things you can fear, hate, smile and laugh about, returning memories to torment you on your failed options and actions. Self-disgust, the injustices of those in charge, shames… not to mention the ailments having a go at you. I had no idea what time I got off into the land of nod, but I kept waking up thinking, I’d better get up, the carer will be here soon – then nodded off again.

The Doctor’s response to this problem when I spoke with her (a few years ago now, of course) Was, “Yes, many older people get this… any other problems?” I decided not to bother her further.

As I woke for the umpteenth time and was going through the routine of planning to get up, then falling asleep again, the door chime rang out its loud, ♫ Oh, Susanna ♫ tune. Gawd, it was late! Carer Richard came in to find a foggy-brained Inchcock staggering up out of the recliner. Hahaha! Fair enough, he does usually find me fuddle-brained anyway.

Richard asked the required medical question, as they do on a Monday. And did a wristlet alarm check to ensure the signal was getting through to the Nottingham City Homes people.

It was his last call, and I enjoyed a little nattering and moaning session with the lad. I thanked and treated him, and off he went.

Then as I put the kettle on belatedly, I took some shots of the morning’s misty views from the kitchenette window.

The photographs didn’t help my spirits much,
Didn’t cheer me up; I still felt I was a bit of a schmuck,
An old man, (Gillie) again being lovestruck…
If she was to adopt me, I’d be thunderstruck!

I wonder when the socks will arrive, they’re made of bamboo,
Had to get some; it’s too cold not to wear them now, Boo-Hoo!
I’ll check the Amazon tracker; that’s what I’ll do…
Nine stops away, couldn’t ask for better, could you!
The socks seem to be of reasonable value…
One can’t say that very often of Amazon, can you?

In an effort to cheer missen up, I perused the box of gifts that HRH Lisa and Billum had sent to me from Fort Thomas in the USA. I know, I wasn’t going to open it until Christmas Day, but anyway…

The box within the box was so pretty, it had to have been decided on by a lady. I put it on the server trolley and investigated away! But I’ll not put them on display until Christmas day.

Just look at all the work Lisa must have put into making these for me!

She even named them for me in the card she sent with them! ♥

Crazy Furry Goat (Goliath), Long Eared Rabbit (Roger), Wacky Cat Kawaii. Pink Fuzzy Monster (Malcolm), Rudikth, the Red-Nosed Reindeer! The names in brackets are those I’m considering giving them when they get on display and become along with Koala and Teddy Bear, my morning chinwagging partners! ♥

I’ll have to make sure I give them names that I might remember. Otherwise, they will get confused about who I am talking to if I use the wrong word. Hehehe! They put in some ‘Moon Pie’ cakes as well. They are not available in the UK. And they look rather tasty! I shall not indulge until Christmas day!

When I showed them off to the carer who came to check on my medicines stock, she thought they were just like a Wagon Wheel. When I put a picture of an unopened lemon Wagon Wheels on my blog a while back, Billum said how they looked like Moon Pies. Thus they sent them to me to try. Bless their cotton socks!

♥ Thanks again, HRH Lisa and Billum! ♥

The door chime rang forth again;

♫ I come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee,
I’m going to Louisiana, my true love for to see
It rained all night the day I left; the weather it was dry
The sun so hot I froze to death; Susanna, don’t you cry.
Oh, Susanna, don’t you cry for me
cos’ I come from Alabama
With my banjo on my knee… ♫

The daycarer from the Meridian office was the day carer; she’s come to check that my medical stocks were sufficient for over the holidays. She thought the Moon Pies were like Wagon Wheels… Oh, I’ve already said this, I guess, sorry!

She thinks I’ll need some more Codeines getting in to last me. Which is not surprising, with all the extras I’ve been taking; What with the 15hr agony of the hospital trolley marathon, the bruised bum, then the absolute nightmare of the reaction to the booster-jab, I think I needed, they got me through anyway. I expect someone somewhere to believe I’ve become addicted, however, and another lecture from the Doctor, of course, over the phone.

Another Escapee Pea!

Making a fresh brew, I trod on something rock-hard on the kitchen floor, almost like an electric shock, it made, jump a smidge. It seems lately that these escapee garden peas are coming out of hiding regularly? Haha!

I checked again in the Mazon bamboo sock front situation. And guess what? As you see, this was the message I got from them. Delivered today; your package was left near the front door or porch. Well, it hadn’t been! I got myself into a mini-flap when I wondered if it had been delivered to Winchester Court in error?

So, I rang ILC (Independent Living Coordinator), Warden, Desktop Dancer, and who is also not interested in adopting me! Tsk! It’s just not fair! She said it might be downstairs in the lobby; I mentioned Winchester Court, she said the flat is empty. I had a vision of them leaving the stuff outside the door of an empty apartment – if so, it would not last long! Deana said she’d look for me and let me know. I thanked her and returned to the computer in another failed effort.

Hehe! Ferreting around for something to nibble, I came across the packet of new mini-cheddars I’d ordered, but I resisted the temptation. I’ll have them later when I’m more depressed or even hungrier.

Medicalisation Checks

The right arm looked betterish, and the pain has subsided a lot now.

Little Inchies fungal lesion had not bled all day. I liked that a lot! But I am in no way being fooled; it’ll come again!

The legs (the Knees) had improved beyond recognition this Monday. I had a job to recognise them as my own. Although, Arthur Itis was getting a little frisky with it when I was writing this.

Warden Deana Saves The Day

Deana rang the door chime and entered – with the parcels of socks in her hand, bless her! They had been left down in the front lobby by the Amazon delivery urchin. Along with several other packages for different people! I thanked her kindly.

ABLUTIONALISATIONINGS

Cleaning the teeth broke another tooth,
The few teggies left are getting corrosive,
But I wash brushing a little aggressive,
Shaving, not a single cut or nick,
Showered, I almost felt hygienic…
On the radio, the London philharmonic,
Stubbed my toe; that was chronic…
But, I don’t want to nitpick,
Even though I tripped over the walking stick!

Food Glorious Food

The dessert was a bit special. On the label, it read; Raspberry Gourmet Greek-style thick & creamy live yoghurt with fruit layer. Confusing innit? Tasted okay. Cooked seasoned sliced Polish pork knuckle with seasonings sarnies, Nigerian podded peas, and crispy chips (oven fries). Flavour rating; 8/10.

Late Phone Call

A call from the opticians came in. Which left me more confused than ever. According to the lady calling me, I did not have an appointment with them. But when I called in there last week on my way to the dentist, I called in to book an appointment, got home and put a date in the calendar, January 4th 2022. She said they had not made an appointment for me?

I’m getting mixed up here; back to the phone call: She asked if I could come in the morning (today at 09:00hrs for an eye test? Presumably, they had had a cancellation?).

Being the keen attentive, alert, sharp sort of person that I’m not, I made another Whoopsiedangleplop; I told her her ‘Yes’ I’d come. Then realised I had the Amazon order coming? Too late to get help ringing her back; the staff had all gone!

Evening Carer Valerie arrived, and I soon fell asleep after she’d gone.

Fed up! Woke up wide awake at midnight and got this blog finished and posted, a little late, but betterer late than never!

Morning All!

The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe Series

Inchcock Today – Tuesday 24th December 2019: Trousers split, almost lethal trip to get some more. Hehe!

1 Dec 24

2019 ttDec 24

24th December 2019

Finnish: 24 Joulukuuta 2019

01Dec 24

22:35hrs: I woke full of guilt at letting down the sweet phlebotomy nurse, Christina, yesterday. I continue not liking myself this morning. Grumph!

I was forced to rise out of the c1968, second-hand, nauseously-beige-coloured, rickety recliner, to make my way to the GPWWB (Grey-Plastic-Wee-Wee-Bucket), for a weak, SS (Short-Sprinkly) wee-wee. As it ended, the sudden urgent demand for the Porcelain Throne arrived. I grabbed the stick and hastened to the wet room. By Jiminy, it was a close call again! But, the evacuation, although it was a tad painful and quick, it wasn’t messy at all, just a few smatterings of blood. Just about what I deserved with my messing Christina about, I thought.

I took both sets of medications, being as I had yet again forgotten to take last night’s. Humph!

WD 150.0.0 With a determination, I set about updating the Monday post. I had an idea for a stand-alone post on the Nottingham Street Art I’d pictured yesterday, so meant to get on quickly… but:

Virg D brown2

After a long time. I don’t think I got it back on; it returned of its own accord. I typed as fast as my ailments would allow me to…

WD 150.0.0 But:

Virg D brown2

I was getting frustrated now. So did some CorelDrawing. Then the internet returned. Phew! I got on and finally finished the post and got it sent off. Finally making a start on the new post

Then: WD 150.0.0

Virg D brown2

When Mr (well paid) Fries, Liberty-Global Virgin Media came back on a long time later, it was super fast! For about ten minutes! Then I went back to its struggling to keep up!

I pressed on with the photo-funny comment blog. Gawd, it took me hours and hours to get done! But I got there.

2Tue01It was time to get the ablutions done. I had to get them done earlier than usual, in case the Angel nurse Christina came again, I pray she does. Off to the wet room, then.

But I got sidelined when I took the mug to the kitchen for cleaning, and I got carried away doing the handwashing first. The jammie bottoms, socks and a long-sleeved shirt. I anticipate that the jammie bottom should be dry enough to be moved onto one of the airers by about February next year. Huh! The right hand has lost a lot of strength since the onset of the peripheral neuropathy, then and the stroke. I did my bestest to wring them out, I was not very successful. Still, I don’t think it makes anything worst by trying. That bit of effort I make, might even be slowing things down on the idiopathic neurotransmitter problem?

WD 150.0.0 Well, that was totally different from the last session. I knocked the stuff off of the floor cabinets again, so many things went on the floor! Two little knicks shaving, dropped the toothbrush, carbolic soap several times, the flannel, the shower-head, and all bar fell over getting the trousers on! The sock-glide battle ended up with me getting a few bruises. Pee’d-off Mode Adopted!

2Tue02WD 150.0.0 I took a photo of my legs, and cannot find the lens cover anywhere now! Still, at least the pins are looking a bit betterer this morning. Arthur Itis. Duodenal Donald, Reflux Roger, Hernia Henry, Shaking Shaun, Back-Pain-Brenda, and even Saccades Sandra and her oculomotor dysfunction are all being kind to me. Anne Gyna and Dennis are making up for the inactivity of the others, mind. Tsk!

WD 150.0.0 Then I ripped my trousers when I bent down to put the slippers on! Gawd, Blimey!

I began to update this post. 10:25hrs now, no sign of the Blood Angel. So it looks like I’m in trouble again. Oh, dear!

I visited the WordPress Reader. Had to stop when the intercom chimed up. A male nurse had come to take my blood. I didn’t need my EQ to tell me he was not happy. He tooketh the haemoglobin, and I offered him a drinky for Christmas. He chose a Whisky & Coke, half-smiled, wished me happy Christmas and was off. 

I got the things ready to catch the bus to town, to get some replacement trousers.

WD 150.0.0

I didn’t realise it then, but I do now,

I’d forgotten to put the camera in my pocket,

When it dawned, I said Crap and Holy Cow!

How do I get through life? But I stumble through, somehow!

I made my way down and dropped off the bags in the chute en route, and saw the Caretaker Stewart and had a quick natter. Then, along the link-corridor to the warmer Winwood Court lobby and through to the big social room

Where I bumped into Nottingham City Home’s Generalfeldmarschalless Housing Patch Manager/Catwalk-Model, Angela Gould, who twinkled her eyes at me, told me off about something or other, then waltzed away with a taller, younger, better-looking, fitter, cleverer, educated, richer, confident, had his own hair and a full set of teeth, bloke. Who was not wearing hearing aids and could walk without medical aids. Humph! Spit! Hehe!

Spoke with John-Herbert, then made my way out to the bus stop. Mary-Jean, Chrissie, May and many other tenants were gathered, and I had a listen to the gossip and handed out the nibbles. Getting on the L9 to town, and getting out the crossword book after depositing my bottom in a side-saddle seat.

As we arrived in town, I realised that I had not got my camera with me. Crap and Holy Cow! What a pitifully-inadequate, imbecilic, dotty, docile, memory-challenged toss-pot!

WDP 003hWD 150.0.0 I went into the battle-ground known as the Poundsaver Store. I was battered and barged, trod on, shoulder-charged walked into, and nearly knocked over a few times, as the gentle Nottinghamian’s around, cursed and fought each other to get things from the half-empty shelves. It was a shame I went in really. If I had not torn my trews earlier, I would not be in town now! Grumph!

WDPh 01WD 150.0.0 I got to the self-serve tills and came out with various things. Dettol, more Toffifees, Ginster Beef pattie, some eau de cologne, smoked almonds, woolly-bob-caps and orange digestive biscuits. I paid up in cash after the machine refused to accept my card!

I was so annoyed with myself as I saw endless photographicalisationing opportunities I could not respond to, on my way into the Victoria Centre, where the Salvation Army Band were giving it some stick with the Christmas tunes. I risked life and limb to get to the lift to go up to the Victoria Market. The elevator cage went between the first floor, down to the Market level, ground floor (where I was), and down to the car park below. The first few times it came, it was cram-packed and I just waited patiently, while having my ankles repeatedly clouted by pram wheels from behind. Eventually, I got in the cage. But had to up to the 2nd level, all the way down to the car park, and back up where I started, the ground floor, then down to the car park again, and finally to the market level. As I got out, I left to Tut-tutting, and a loudly spoken, ‘Old folks with walkers shouldn’t be let in when it’s so busy” for some unknown reason?

WDP 10LWD 150.0.0 I hobbled to Abdhul’s stall to get my trews. But it was all abandoned now in there, many stalls emptied out. So sad. Abdul looked lonely and depressed when I arrived. And, he only had two pairs of trousers in my size! I’ve used this stall for years, and most trips he would offer a choice of five or six pairs, if not more for me to choose from. Sad times for the lad. I bought them, despite the grotty colours, and then repeated the farce to get back down in the elevator. Shame I can’t manage the escalator nowadays. This time a lady helped me sort out which floor I was on, I had to laugh at my own confusion.

I got to Queen Street and met a lady from our beloved Woodthorpe Court, that lies somewhere between the twilight zone and a wormhole slipping through a tear in the fabric of space & the spacetime continuum, illusion, delusion, & hallucination! That frequently has only one lift working, most taps are leaking, toilets that take well over an hour to refill after being flushed, blocked wet room drains, windows that are lethal to open, a fire alarm only 50% of residents can hear... oh, I got carried away there, sorry!

The lady and I had a sort of chinwag as best we could en route home. (Hearing problems!) I’ve spoken with the lady a few times. She is a classy woman, and so nice natured and puts up with me well. We exchanged seasonal greetings, as I left the lift.

2Tue03Got in the apartment and got the things out of the bag and carrier.

I hung the trews up in the window to decrease them a little and added the hand-washed shirt from earlier, which was dry enough to start airing.

2Tue02aThe earlier handwashing was not ready, not dry enough yet to move over the radiator. Especially the jammie bottoms.

I got the oven heating up for the beef pastie and chips to be cooked.

Had a look at the TV schedule, and found some 2Tue06things I fancied viewing.

WDP 10R02LWD 150.0.0 When the kiln had reached 220° I put the McCain original oven chips in to cook. As you can see, there was the odd blighted chip, that needed removing first. I went through the remaining chips in the bag afterwards and found a dozen more of them. As the McCain advert says: ‘It’s no wonder they’re often called the perfect teatime chip’ Hmm? I  wonder if Liberty-Global Virgin Media are connected with McCains? They both might be competition to tell the biggest lies in their adverts? They’ll have to go some to beat Liberty-Global, they are as good as politicians at dishonest, deceitful, false claims!

2Tue04aWDP 13dLA proper feast this meal was. Beef pastie, tomatoes, beetroot and a portion of McCain’s blight removed chips. With caramelised onion chutney, wholemeal bread thins and some German smoked Bavarian ham that was just out of date, but tasted fine. Some fresh orange juice for afters. Flavour Rating: 8.4/10, super!

I washed the dishes, had a weak wee-wee, and got down in time to watch the Tremors ‘5’ film, that I had not seen before. The earlier ones I found hilarious, even though they were not meant to be comedies methinks.

The first set of advertisements came on, and I drifted off. Humph! I wanted to watch that one as well! Sulk-Mode-Instigated!

An Ode to My Ailments

6Sat04

Barry Bladder & Hernia Harry

6Sat07

I went in the QMC for a Hernia operation,

Summat else came to the surgeons attention,

He said he’s found cancer in the bladder,

But not to worry, he said as we had a natter,

He’d lasered both problems with antimatter!

But I suffered later, Harry returned, it’s mind over matter!

 

6Sat05a

Duodenal Donald

The problem was soon outright,

Although it was a bit of a fight,

The surgeons said it’d be risky and tight,

But things should come out alright,

But couldn’t stop the bleeding, that was a fright!

They did stop it finally, to my delight!

 

6Sat08

Haemorrhoid Harry

I have to say, this left me feeling sore,

But surely it will mean, Haemorrhoid cream no more?

No suppositories, prodding, probing, Cor!

But they returned, worse than before!

 

6Sat05

Aorta Albert

A bit of a shock, when I saw the Doc,

She said you’re a chip off the old block,

Your Dad had such an op, a bit of a shock,

Makes a change from operating on your buttock,

But you’ll pull through me old cock!

 

6Sat03

Sandie Seer

Twitching eyes, jump and jerk,

But when steady, they still work,

Though not a regular querk,

It can drive you berserk!

 

6Sat03a

Nerveless Nigel

Diagnosed two weeks before the stroke,

By Dr Rahannmuta, a wonderful bloke,

Not averse to a laugh and joke,

Although I don’t, he said you must not smoke!

And gave me a year, before the nerve-ends die, get broke.

 

6Sat09

Suzie

Worra shock, I was in a terrible mess,

Couldn’t wash, shave or even dress,

Two months hospitalisation, no less,

Why I ask, but it remains answerless,

The After-Stroke Physio leaves me breathless,

But certainly not painless!

There are periods when I feel brainless,

But some helpers have been invaluable, God Bless!

 

6Sat10

SSVB

(ScabsSpotsVeinsBulges)

Caught this in the Stroke hospital ward, one can’t forget,

Blood-papsules, weals, scars, lumps, bulges, a guaranteed bet,

Welts, contusions, blemishes, dapples, maculations, invariably on the legs set,

Thrombophlebitis and assorted Clopidogrel grooves and ridges show,

The legs appearance change every day, a new vein or burrow,

A reaction to a changed medication, they say to me,

Vasculitis and venous thromboembolism or VTE,

What next, can I charge folks to look, Hehehe!

Right-hand side sensory nerves are almost kaput,

The neurotransmitters, nearly as dead as a mutt,

I’m even getting boils and growths on my butt!

 

6Sat11

Myasthenia Gravis (MG) – The latest ailment.

 This was written, to cheer missen up, and it did!

I thank you!

WDPT07R

Inchcock Today Fri 5 Feb 16: Cramp and Arthur Itis bad in the legs all day. Humph!

01W01

Friday 5th February 2016

Woke with a jump around 0400hrs, sure it was the dream I’d been having. Wrote down some notes before I nodded off again.

Awoke with a mission to visit the porcelain at 0600hrs, got up get to the bathroom with the knees not at all keen on my doing so. But a good start to the day here: No blood from the rear or Little Inchy and the constipation was a great deal easier! Mind you, I was doing so much sneezing it started the reflux valve off, and breathing was not without a certain amount of pain. Hey-ho, you can’t have everything eh? Hehe!

 Made a cuppa, took the medications and got the laptop on, consulted the notes on the dream. Even after such a short while, many of the words meant nothing to me, but at least, I could remember certain bits of it without the notes?:

I was inside a tram or railway carriage, running up and down the length of it, and recognised many passengers from my past. Then, I was loading an old stage coach with everything imaginable. Those items I can recall were a fish aquarium, my old Hoover from 1984, boxes and boxes of books, umbrellas, walking frames, my old fishing tackle, even my old brown Reliant Robin, that for some reason had become collapsable? In amongst the things were people, and I was trying to feed them at the same time as loading up the carriage?

The surroundings changed, I was on top of the stagecoach (The driver of the stagecoach was a guard who I had worked with many years ago). As it trundled along on the cobbled roads, and I kept spotting people at the side of the road and demanding that we stop to pick them up. Vagrants, policemen, Jeremy Thorpe amongst the many we collected I think. The others inside eventually turned on me, telling me that these new folk would have to share their Sugar Puffs, and there were not sufficient to go round?

I started this diary off, then completed yesterday’s and got it posted. Not that anything interesting was in it like.

I came across this word ‘Ingeniculation’ today. It will come in handy for me to use and try to impress others with. It means ‘Bending of the knee.’ Feel free to use it like. Hehe!

I got myself in the bath (Not easy, and a painful exercise, especially getting out again Hehe).

Had a gossip with some residents as I waited for the bus to arrive. One of the girls told me to try a shop called Lakeland to get some little individual pots of preserves from.

DSC00134 Got into town and went to the Jessops camera shop to see it they had any multi-card readers.

They had, but it cost me £24 plus VAT making it £30 all but a penny.

So, I went to the bank and got some cash. Tsk!

Then had a hobbled to the Lakeland shop to investigate for some Blackcurrant preserve jars. They did have some in, they were packs of three 40g jars; £3 each! Blimey the jars are only sufficient to make one sandwich! I didn’t invest in any.

The cramps along with the arthritis were making me suffer today. Oh Yes!

DSC00136I limped to the Primark store and found they had some of the jammie bottoms in at £5 each on a clearance counter. So I bought the last two XL pairs on the shelves. Well, it said £5 on the ticket, later when I got back to the flat, I found they had charged me £6 for them. Also, £2 for a Fair Isle Fleece, whatever one of them are? The jumpers I’d bought they charged me DSC00138the proper price? Suppose I’ll have to go back again, Huh!

I had a dodder around the slab square.

Seeing the buildings that were designed by the brilliant Watson Fothergill in this photograph, made me appreciation the man’s skill more than ever.

I wasn’t too cold today, but the biting wind made feel like it was.

DSC00137There were dozens of foreign food stall in the slab square today, along with some craft stalls.

At one on the corner, they were charging £5.99 for a French beefburger? That’s about $8.68 in American dollars, for one beefburger?

Perhaps they were made with horsemeat?

That’s about $8.68 in American dollars, for one beefburger?

In another, they were selling Kangaroo burgers at £4.99.

I could the 40 bus back to the flats, to save me having to wait for half an hour in the wind for the L9 bus that would have taken me all the way to the flats.

When I dropped off on Winchester Street Hill, the bus departed and I checked both ways and waited on the bend in the road, until no traffic was in sight – a car coming UP the hill nearly had me as I grappled to cross the road quickly enough, thanks to the pain from my arthritis and cramps. I’ve never had such persistent pains during the day ever. It might be the heavier water retention in the legs today that caused this? I’ll ask the nurse when I go for my INR blood test in the morning. No! I mean on Monday.

I doddered along to the flat. Got in and took an extra painkiller before doing anything, and then had to peep at the porcelain.

I put the clobber I’d bought in the self-erected steel and canvas storage thingy – it wobbled a bit. That made two of us. Hehehe!

Laptop on and updated this twollop.

01W01aDecided on baked potatoes and a beef pie for dinner. If I remember, I add some sweet potato balls when there are twenty minutes left to go. Garden peas in the pan and for afters, I have one strawberry mini-cheesecake left.

Please heed, that I did not, I say not, buy any fresh cream french horns again today!

I feel almost proud of myself. Haha!

Did some Facebooking.

DSC00140Not a bad meal. Apart from the sweet potato balls, they tasted a bit off – so I dished them.

Rated the remainder at 9.1/10.

Completely wiped out now.

The cramps on the swollen water retaining legs were still as bad as it was when I got up this morning.

Tried to watch some goggle-box but kept falling asleep and whenever I moved the legs the pain sprang me back into the world of awakeness! Humph!

Inchcock Today: Thursday 9th October 2014

04Th01

Thursday 9th October

Up at 0300hrs.

WC.

Oh dear oh dear… The ‘Inch’ was so painful. Swollen tender and bulbous, almost glowing red! At least the bleeding was far less this morning.

The pains in the left ribs had eased a bit too. The arthritis seemed not too bad, the angina was okay at the moment.

Got down around 0320hrs – laptop started and made a cuppa. Far too early yet to take me medications. Just took one Codeine Phosphate 30mg to ease the tenderness in the ‘Inch’.

Did some work on me Inchcock blog and posted one.

The Inch is far less painful and tender now, thankfully.

Made another cuppa and took me medications.

Got rather carried away again creating a graphic for hours… and you’ve guessed it, Coreldraw9 froze and I lost everything. I haven’t swore so much for ages.

The walkies plan today, was to take a walk to the Hospice shop with the stuff for them into Sherwood, then catch a bus into Arnold; where I hoped to get some of the ready meals from Iceland and lollies from Fultons.

I’m doing this because I give up on my failed efforts to get the Nottingham City Council Meals at Home service to keep the appointments they made to come and see me about it.

 Had a wash and shave and made myself look semi-respectable (well…), got the things ready for the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop, made sure I’d got all me things needed and set off – just as the rain came!

I limped into Sherwood, and found the Hospice Shop was closed with a notice on the window ‘We regret this shop is closed today due to unforeseen, circumstances’ I hope the staff were alright.

I had to walk all the way back to the flea-pit with the bags, and the rain started again. (Tsk!)

I got in and left the Hospice bags, changed into a dry hat and set off again, but only to the bus stop to catch bus to Arnold and the freezer shops.

Arrived in Arnold Front Street, which was handy because both of the shops are on that street.

04Th02Called into Iceland where I got some wonderfully priced microwave meals (89p Special Offer from £1) – Shepherds Pies and Potato Beans and Sausage with cheese. I also bought a ready meal at £1-50 somehow I didn’t notice it had sweet corn in it so I’ll have to just not eat the sweet corn when I digest the rest of it. Dr at QMC said to avoid sweet corn, summat to do with me kidneys not liking them?

Walked over to the Fultons shop and got some lollies. While walking around the shop perusing, I had one of those conversations that stay with you a while… confuse you, but stay with you.

Me: Excuse me, could you tell me if you have any of the Microwave sausages in stock?

He: Microwave sausages?

Me: Yes, they were packed in 20’s and cost £1.99.

He: Did they?

Me: Yes.

He: Where were they?

Me: Here in front of us in the freezer marked sausages!

He: No… But we have Kipling Vienna cakes on offer!

Flabbergasted!

I got me stuff and caught the bus back to Carrington.

As I got off of the vehicle, the rain started again.

By the time I had hobbled back to the dump, I wus well soaked this time.

As I got in I felt suddenly so tired and weary again.

Had a Potato cheesey bean thing (Nice though) followed by a lolly or two and me medications then actually fell asleep for once.

04Th03Woke up by the Meals at Home people phoning to see if I was in!

I explained as best I could without getting annoyed about their failure to keep two appointments that they had set to see me, and I was out buying food due to their second non-appearance yesterday. Eventually I just said: “If I need you I’ll phone later, let’s forget it eh? Thanks anyway.

Woke a few times with stomach pains, well lower abdominal pains.