Inchcock Today: Escape To Sherwood!

My EQ had already warned me, today would be different, special,
But I’ll have to be prepared for aggravation, be on my metal!
But explained things won’t be wrong, not an early burial…
But plans, like life, can be so decoctible…
Plans, well mine, are easily cock-uppable!
However, EQ’s warnings were mostly corrigible.

I thought that my will-power and contentment was indestructible,
Which, to say the least, was a rarity and unexplainable!
I got the blog created and sent off… although it was minimal,
The Carer was a smidge depressed, not very cheerful,
Gave him a can of Gin in thanks, told him to be safe, be careful,
Departing, the Carer definitely seemed a bit more gleeful,
Which made me feel better; did you know he was bilingual?

I only did a small blog, the eyes are getting worse, seeing less,
Still can’t get the photos on the computer – I’m at my pottiest!
Sorting out the paperwork needed for ophthalmologist,
The Bank Manager, whose visit I’d have gladly missed…
And added herb-slices to my little shopping list,
Readied things for the escape, shopping, bank and optometrist…

Here we go…

I got to the door, seeing I’d enacted my habit of being a noctambulist,
Boxes had been moved, stuff out on the trolley, can a hypnotist,…
Be consulted, for I do not recall getting from bed; was I pissed?
I think not; I stopped drinking years ago… mind you, it’s still missed!
Some bits of paper on the carpet as well, to be honest…
I don’t think my mind is at its mentally healthiest…
Hit my head picking stuff up… but this was not to be the painfullest,
Half an hour later, I felt at my poorliest…

I hobble out along to Winchester Street, limping down the hill,
A car parked on the pavement again, cruel and evil…
Not sliding in the wet leaves was taking all my skill…
I was soon swearing like the devil!
I tripped on the crack underneath the leaves, twisted my knee…
Bagged my leg falling on the soggy gravel,
It hurt, but so did me wanting to have a pee!
But more important was my desire to see Jillie!

My tumble meant nothing now; I hobbled like the devil,
My mission is to see Jillie, whatever the peril…
My fears and pain had disappeared – they were nihil!
We met, and in her arms I did cradle…
Nothing mattered then, even my wanting a piddle!.

The time shot by while I was Jillie, my lover… in my mind
She’s regal, beautiful, and so very kind…
I found her 60 years too late; it drives me out of my mind!
But she had partly adopted me, that was so very kind,
She is a gift, a pleasure, a desire, of all mankind ♥

Jillie walked with me to the opticians, beautifully coiffured,
She is even aware before I say so when something I’ve misheard!
A treasure-find for me, patient and so good-natured!
My confidence was boosted, hopes temporarily recaptured…
Into see the ophthalmologist room, to have the eyes inspected!
Prodding and eyes, the drops all done; 20 minutes, I waited…

The Oculist came out with the problem after I was examined,
The result was not unexpected… I’m overly cataracted!
She set the ball rolling for me to have two lenses fitted…
Paperwork to the Doctors’ was remitted…
She explained further to me of the operation…

Risky at my age, but without it, I’ll be blind within a year
As was expected and natural to me, worry, but no fear.

Gave me some leaflets to read. There is no point in prescribing the new glasses until after the operation. Because having two plastic lenses replacing the genuine lenses would alter the sight a lot, they will sort the spectacles out with another examination after the procedure.

Also, she can look into the Glaucoma and Saccades issues after my getting and trying the new spectacles. Which can’t be done until so many weeks after the operation has been completed. Ah, well! Only what I expected, really.

I had the pleasure of thanking them, and going with Jillie to the bank. Which took a lot of her time, but she was very patient. We went into a room with an advisor. I could not hear what he was saying, and the rapidly declining eyesight meant I could no longer see well enough to try lip-reading. But, Jillie did all the talking for me. ♥ She asked about the Carers Direct Debit situation, and the chap told her, as she explained afterwards, I had no idea what was going on, Hehe! that the transactions were set up, but nothing had gone out yet? Crumplemost Confusing!

After a long time, we left the bank, and Jillie had to help me with the cash machine to get some money out. Bless Her! I don’t know what I’m going to do when the gal is unavailable!

Got some bits from the local continental store, not a lot; I’ve got a food delivery coming in the morning.

We walked back to Jillie’s house, and I got a hug (Boy, that felt good!) as we parted. Despite the morning’s happenings, I felt up to walking up the hill back to the flats!

I got in and made a meal. Gobbled it up, and sat down; and fell right asleep! For about four hours! Got up, and I started to mop the kitchen floor as Carer Richard arrived. We had a little natter, but he was in a rush. So I gave him one of his favourites, a pink gin and tonic, thanked him as he departed. Then got on with the moping again.

I sat down with a mug of Glengettie tea to watch Heartbeat on the box… But only managed about ten minutes, and I drifted off again.

WHOOPSIEDANGLEPLOP!

After an hour, I sprang awake in absolute agony! The hobble (I imagine) had set off Colin Cramps, and boy was he giving me some pain! Worse, he went on all night until about 04:30 in the morning!

I used up an entire tube of Phorpain overnight! But it did me no good. Even taking two co-codamol didn’t ease things at all! All in the left foot and leg. Knob-Gobs! I’ve never had cramps so bad in my life before?

The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe In Rhyme

Drastically Demystifying Daily Deliration – In odes

WHY?

Why have I been chosen, a selected one of many,
Who often bleeds when he spends a penny!
I fall in love with Carers, like Caroline and Gillie?
But none of them wants to adopt me…
If they did, they would have to be silly,
My waterworks and Porcelain Throne session: Agony!

Years ago, I never thought of acting bellicosely,
But bad luck started early and kept at me grossly,
I suffered bullying, parents fighting with barbarity,
That, from long ago, I remember with clarity!
Breakfast today? No idea; it could have been a chip butty?
My failing memory, the short term one, is really burdensomely!

My thoughts can often work well, indeed cohesively,
An interruption comes, and earlier plans become a mystery!
I stutter at times, and some people talk to me derisively,
My shaking right side arm, leg and hands decidedly…
Make strangers shocked, and talk to me impolitely,
They speak to me; if they do at all; as if I need psychiatry…
I had a Dizzy Dennis moment and fell over, getting an injury…
A bloke said to his missus: He’s drunk! Very dismissive!

I started waffling again then, lost the theme of this Ode,
I’m obviously getting more senile as I get old…
The reason? My cleaning lady arrived, came in very bold,
She was taking my laundry to wash, I was told…
Off she went with the Bold and freshener scent…
Back to the blogging, well. that was my intent…
Esther, return washing all done, we nattered, that was fun,
But my inspiration and concentration were done!
I hoped to return to it, but I fell asleep, woke by Carer Julie Pathan.

Beyond any energy using now, physical or mental at all…
Went to the Porcelain Throne and had a fall…
Banged my Booster pained arm against the wall…
It’s getting dark, soon be nightfall…
I’ll get some nosh sorted but will return to things philosophical,
If Gillie doesn’t let me take her for a week in Portugal…
It’s no fun being moral and mortal…
Life is likely seen through some alien portal…
The very thought of that made me chortle!

Another Feast!

I think it is called Comfort Food?

Polish cooked pork (9.5/10): Nigerian podded peas (3/10),
Royale Anya potatoes (5/10), Sainsbury’s Tomatoes (4/10),
Microwave poached eggs (8.5/10), I hope to try them again,
With Thai sweet chilli sauce (7.8/10), A banana (8/10),
A large layered yoghourt, real raspberry, extra cream (6/10),
Then, the Thought Storms Began – I’ll go potty, I’m certain!

Self Assessment

The truth is, I’m getting in a mental pickle,
My chances of rest and peace, ain’t worth a nickel!
As for today’s opticians’ findings optical…
Cataracts, glaucoma, pupils needing to be widened…
Before the examination can be completed; but, no stickle!
I’m to have a procedure, I wasn’t too enthusiastical!
Needles in the eye job, she said, all matter of factly,
Then drops for a few days: can my costs be deductible?
And start the whole procedure over again… there’ll be trouble!
I’m sure things might get better… Gawd knows when!

Evening Care Arrives…

The Evening Carer came about seven o’clock,
Sweet Angel, but in a rush, but she was still therapeutic,
I gave her a big box of Quality Street chocs,
To share amongst the Carers, she went, I took off my socks…
And fought with the Thought Storm a little longer, then…
Sleep arrived: but I soon woke up… needing a wee-wee again!

Part of the Inchcock’s True Odes to Life Series

Inchcocks Wednesday of Whoopsiedangleploppery

I’ll start at the beginning, (Sounds logical to me? – Hehe!) Perhaps I might learn to spell as well… tomorrow…Tsk!

I woke around 03:00hrs and rose gingerly to my feet,
But the knees and legs bothered me most, mate…
Just look at ’em on the left here… What a state!
Still had Arthur Itis giving pain and the flat feet…
Without pains, a life I would think would be incomplete?

The regular fluid retention that usually sinks into the feet seemed now stuck in the top of the legs. My patellas are all knobbly?  But I’m not complaining (then anyway).

I began to think through the needs and actions of the potentially hectic mornings requirement. Which, as I noted, were:

  • Get the ablutions done early, like straight away…
  • Make sure I do not use the shower as early as this in the morning, so I’ll have a stand-up session at the sink.
  • Get the teeth done first.
  • De-coke the nasals.
  • Saccades eye drops in. (Try to get some of the medication into the eye this time!)
  • Before shaving, don’t forget to say your little prayer to the Peripheral Neuropathy God. And make sure the aftershave is handy to stop any bleeding.
  • Do take care medicationalisationing. I can tell already that Little Inchies final lesion has been bleeding cause as soon as I moved, the dried blood cracked as the P.P.’s were adjusted… So be prepared for agony, and brave it out, mate!
  • Now cometh something that will be as much hassle and pain as anything…
  • Yes, the sock-glide has to be used for the first time in months! Sorry, but it’s just too cold to go out to the Dentist, barefooted in my shoes this time!
  • I wish you all the best of luck with carrying out this fearful, scare-making task! But, it’s got to be done!
  • Things went relatively well as it happened.
  • As expected. The worst by far was the tender application of the dreaded, feared, always tear bringing…
  • Tender in the extreme and extra painful cause one has to get to things in the first place… 😢
  • The Sock-Glide won the ‘Most Hated’, The Most Feared’ awards. But the fungal lesioning retained its status as ‘King of the Excruciating Medicalisationings!’
  • I was so glad that I got these done and out of the way early on… I even Smug-Moded about it for a while!

I made my first brew of tea, finished off yesterday’s blog, and got it posted off. The Carer came nice and early, so that was nice… her seeing the photo of my legs on the computer screen was a bit harrowing for the gal, though. Hahaha! Me too!

I thanked the girl and offered some nibbles or drinkies in thanks, but she wouldn’t have any. I fang-you! Off she went taking my waste bags to the chute with her.

The computer turned off, and I got down to getting things ready in earnest. Let’s have a think now…

Bus pass to get back home with, yes! Camera, check. Cash card… okay. Keys, Alert bands, Warfarin I.D., yes… Somethings missing, methinks? Aha, shopping list and cash card, Gorrit!  By the time I was all ready to go, it was about 08:15hrs as I set out. I got into the lift and down to the ground floor…

Then went back up to the 12th-floor and the flat and got a face mask adorned. Nearly made another cock-up there!

THE JOURNEY…

Down and outside, over the road, Accifauxpas, nought!
I turned around, to the view of Winwood Court,
I took a photo of it… well, I thought I aught!
But the gravel hill up into the park made me fraught…

Made it up the hill in one go – but I was heavily breathing,
A dog came from nowhere, barking at me; I was seething!
Nearly ended up mucking my underclothing!
The dog owner arrived, she was chunky, fortysomething…
I fell in love again… the mouth was frothing…

I limped my way through the twitchel no one was about,
I was a little nervy, so I still kept a lookout,
Had a look around as I came out…
That twitchel has an ominous aura, there’s no doubt!.

Down the hill, as far as Elmswood Gardens, then right…
And alongst it. I plodded towards the traffic light…
Mansfield Road road, the spending did start!

Too early for the Dentist, I called into the Wilko store,
Laundry booster, Zoflora and Trots tablets… Yes, some more!
The tablets were easy to get, four feet from the floor…
The booster too high, out of reach, to my displeasure!
I ask a lady for help, at her leisure…
The Zoflora, bottom shelf, I ended up on the floor!
But the ladies laughed and helped me up some more!

Out just in time to get to the Dentist,
They treated me well, although they were pressed…
A new gal training on the reception desk…
I was soon fetched to see the Dentist Oola Bogusz,
As she leant over me, I could sense her firm left bust…
She smiled at me a lot, was I going mad or what?
She and the nurse actually joked with me???
Toothpaste prescription, Something amiss here, just you see!
In no time, I was treated and set free!

I had a funny turn while paying my dues…
Well, I had it when I first joined the queues
These were also patient with me… another ruse?
I have to work this out at home, have a muse…
Why the change? They all usually have a short fuse!

Not many folks about? Most of them had not got facemasks on. Even in the Dentist and Wilko. What’s the matter with them?

Down to the Co-op, to get some cans of their delightful own brand chilli-con-carne… why the tastebuds were salivating at the thought of getting some more cans… But No! The assistant asked the manager for me, and I found that they had stopped stocking this product, Grrr! Gnatwrangles! Damn them! Curses! Flibblegonkackles! Gits! Slobs! Flibblegonkackles! May they go bankrupt! And may whoever it was who decided to stop stocking my beloved cans of Chilli; Get festering, fungal-lesions bursting out slowly all over their body, for at least a full year, before they finally rot away; in absolute agony!  Not that it overly bothers me, mind!

Then up to the top of the road to Lloyds Chemist,
Oh, Pharmacy nowadays, sorry, how remiss!
I got the prescription toothpaste from Alice,
Leaving, I trapped my finger in the door…
My Saccades vision is now feeble & poor…
And the left index finger is bloody sore!

Humph!

I got to the bus stop and met Esther, we had a natter, as she was on her way to the flats to do someones cleaning. Nice to see her. We walked through the link passages together – they can’t touch me for that! Hahaha! (Can they?)

Home Sweet Home!

Well, things didn’t go too bad, well, maybe… erm… either way, I did enjoy the getting out of the flat bit. Although it cost me a lot of dosh, a little blood, frustration and had moments of utter confusion… that’s life, you see… Well, it is for me!

My Route Taken

Yellow on foot – Purple on the bus.

I unloaded the bits of stuff purchased. Of course, there would have been more; had the lousy, stinking, crap-ridden, overcharging, dog-breath,  Klunglefrazzled Co-op had some their ‘Honest Value’ Chili-Con Carnie to sell me. But never mind. Shit!

I soon settled into a routine that matched the rest of the day,
Drinking spring water, tea and a pee; what a thirst I’d got on me,
I may not have been contented, but not depressed, exactly,
I started the mammoth task of doing this blog artistically!
In between blogging, I even had two callers, socially!
A lovely carer to drop off a Christmas card, nice & early.

Even got a phone call from the Doctors surgery,
Wanting to arrange a booster shot for me…
I explained I’m having it done at the chemist this Saturday,
Adding, I’ll see you tomorrow anyway…
Why is that? she did say, ‘For medical, the yearly…’
No, you’re not booked in, evidently?
I’ll check, hang on, she said wearily…
I’ve got it on my calendar, my dearie?
Have I got it wrong again? Am I illusory?
Nothing on our records, she added hastily…
Oh, a free day for me then, that’s satisfactory…
Maybe I can have a hassle-free day?
Yes, well, I’ll see, you may be hearing again from me?

The feet, after not wearing socks for months, continuous…
Felt okay, but the legs were feeling somewhat lethiferous,
So, I wound up the trouser legs, oh, the fuss…

What a change to earlier ones, more flush,
Still swollen, at the top, but fatter lower down?
Will the fluid flow with a gush?
Will things spurt in a rush?
Will the legs turn to a sodden mush?
Will the world, these limbs discuss?
Will the cause be revealed, as dracunculus?

Look what I found in the middle of the kitchen floor!
A rock hard escapee garden pea, what is more…
The miracle is, how I hadn’t noticed it before?
Has my eyesight, really got that poor?
Am I going potty? I’m not sure…

Camera Out – Balcony Utilised!

To take some snaps of the wonderful view.
The amazing sky, shown in the first two…

In a couple of shots of Chestnut walk, you won’t see any queue,
The place is sparse of people. what can I do?
Are they all inside, eating sausages, fish or making a fondue?
Mayhap some are trying on their Christmas tutu?
Or on holiday in Bulwell, Cardiff or Timbuktu?
Perhaps absent, gone off on a romantic rendezvous?
It’s possible a few could be feeling sozzled or blue?
Out buying food, but the panic buyers are in the queue?
Or in town, with their free bus passes to renew?
I’d speculate more; if only I knew…
Where they have all gone, what are they up to?
Ah, gorrit! Christmas! They’ll be making their homebrew!

Well, I’d better get some food – salad or a stew?
No, vegetarian sausages and root potatoes… that’ll do,
I’ll take a photo of it later, just for you to have a peekaboo!

Worra Nosh!

Vegetarian! Royal grown potatoes, root vegetable mash, tomatoes, Nigerian podded peas, Veggie sausages, cheese and bean pastie, with orange jelly and spray cream for dessert!

Taste Rating: 7.9/10 – Delicious!

Part of ‘The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe In Rhyme’

To all my thousands of fans throughout the world, I wish you all good fortune, fun, festivities, euphoria and future financial prosperity! (To both of you!)

TTFN!

Inchcockski – Fri 4 Sept 2020: Our hero Inchy, escapes from isolation! But it cost him dearly! Humph!

TFZer In his Cool-It-Cabin?

Hahahaha!

Friday 4th September 2020

Latin: September 4th Veneris MMXX

00:10hrs:  After a reasonable, appreciated four hours of Sweet Morpheus, I stirred into imitation life, in need of a wee-wee. (Nothing out of the ordinary there, then, Hehehe!) 

I struggled a bit to rid myself of the STF (Slow-Trickling-Forever) wee-wee, followed by an even longer spell of frustrating AMD (After-Micturition-Dribbling). I had to wait for it to finish before I dared move on. Humph!

I hobbled to the kitchenette, clouting my left ankle with Metal Mickey, the four-pronged walking stick, and nearly went over. Luckily, the door frame was handy for support. “Blooming good start, mush!” I said to myself.

Carefully, I got the kettle on, and the sphygmomanometer and stick thermometer from the medicine drawer. Aha, at long last, the low temperature had gone up! To 35.3°c. A lot better this was. But there was no getting too excited until the BP was discovered. That brought me down to earth again. The SYS was up to 167, ever-changing that is. The Dia and Pulse looked okay to me, but I’ll check on the web for what they should be later. Or if I can find where I wrote the numbers down. Tsk!

A had the pleasure of making a brew of Extra Strong Assam tea. I say pleasure because Toothache Terence was not so bad this morning. I still let the brew cool down a bit before indulging. That Sainsbury’s Jersey full-cream milk, expensive, but it tastes so wonderful. Naughty, mind!

I took the morning medications with another good gulp of the ineffective, defeasible, Peptac Antacid medicine because RLR (Rogers Laryngopharyngeal Reflux) was giving me some breathing difficulties this dark, dank, fine morning.

I’ve got the Optician appointment at 09:40hrs this morning, so I must have another early ablution session. I considered going to town afterward to the Poundland shop. Still, to be truthful, I’m a smidge nervous of going out after so long, even walking to the ophthalmologist, never mind catching buses to town. Mmm? I’ll decide when I get out of the examination room.

I pressed on with getting yesterday’s blog updated and finished. It took me five hours! Tsk! I posted it off, emailed the link, Pinterested some snaps, and onto Facebooking. They seem to have mended whatever was stopping me uploading to my albums, os I had two days worth to catch up on. Visited the TFZers and added a couple of graphics, then went on the WordPress Reader section.

The time now to get the ablutions tackled.

ABLUTIONALISATIONING INCIDENT REPORT

 Session overall rating 7/10. Good!

  • No calls to use the Porcelain Throne this time.
  • Had to be a stand-up session due to the early hour.
  • Toothache Terence was not pleased with my hurried teeth-cleaning! Drops of blood from the gums and much pain.
  • Shaving produced a few nicks and cuts; neck, behind the right earhole. A silly one last off, the left index finger, from dropsies of the razor and my swift, but stupid grabbing the Bic quickly as it fell. What a plonker!
  • The rear-end washing and medicationalisationing afterward went so well, I could hardly believe it. No bleeding from the furuncles or haemorrhoids!
  • The medicating itself was almost a pleasure today?
  • As I was ready to do the body spraying and after-shaving lotioning, etc., I observed how Arthur Itis’s patella was still bulging with the cartilage below showing through clearly now.
  • The old ankle-ulcer scar had spread out a bit, but it was still getting fainter. Almost artistic, as it moves up and towards the shin more and more? (Tate Gallery material?)
  • The body was still looking somewhat chalky-white, anaemic and cadaverous. But the Clopidogrel lumps, welts, and papules looked calmer.

The getting into the new PPs was easy as well, by the way, I forgot to mention that.

Off to the kitchen and put some potatoes in the crock-pot, and salted them with some of the sea-salt crystals, and set the low setting, so they could be cooking gently while I was out at the opticians.

It felt really strange putting shoes and socks on for the first time in yonks. Transfering the flat keys and card, bus pass, etc. to the oversized coat, it all seemed wrong, out of sync, somehow?

I’d decided I’d along Chestnut Way, then right, and walk down Winchester Street, to Mansfield Road and Sherwood. And catch a bus back up the hill. Got the collapsable walking stick in the three-wheeler trolly-guide.

I added some carrier bags to the trolley, as I planned to go in Wilko first. Down and out onto Chestnut Walk. Not many people were out and about, it was still early, around 0830hrs I reckon it was.  

I took a photo of Winchester and Winwood Courts. I didn’t notice at first, but the paramedics were on site again, which one, I didn’t know. By gum, we’re dropping like flies lately! Tsk! Despite my sadness in seeing the emergency ambulance, I pressed on casually.

I poddled along at a really steady pace, and took a picture of the obviously garden-designer corner of between Winwood and Winchester Courts, in front of the link passage between the building. No longer in use at the moment, due to Corona-19.

On to the end of the road, and turned right to go down Winchester Street. I was so annoyed to see a car parked right on the kerb. It blocked access for anyone with a disabled scooter, or Trolley-Guide from passing without having to go onto Winchester Street to get by, including me, of course. And I had to go blindly out because the view of any oncoming traffic was blocked!

All the memories of previous times this had happened flooded back to my mind! Pickleglobknobs! Boulderclumps! Brunglebogs! and Grrr!

Then as I stumbled my way beyond this car, there was some who had parked behind, and left no room at all to pedestrians to walk on the pavement! I hobbled down a bit and turned back to take this photo. Unbelievable! Cragknackles!

Then, doing me bestest not to get all rangled, or hot and bothered, I continued down Winchester Street, only to find at the end of the Muggers-Cut-through, so much rubbish! Bottles, condoms, fag-ends and packets, crisp bags, carriers and broken bits of toys, etc. scattered about.

But I also saw some white (weed?) flowers, that were seen in the middle of all the human detritus, crap, and litter. They cheered me up, they were so beautiful, delicate, and clinging to life. I wish I knew their name. ♥ Gorgeous!

*When I got into Sherwood, and onto Mansfield Road, I took a picture of towards, and away from the City Centre. I know I did, I’m sure I did! Details to come a little later in the diary.

I slowly had an amble up the road and ended up in the Wilko store. I did a search for some liquid funnels, but could not find any. However, being a controlled person I am, I did come out with £10.90 worth of unwanted, unneeded items. After getting to the counter, dropping my £20 note, then the bottle of scent crystals hit the floor, and the lady kindly coming round from the till, and packing them for me into the trolley. Fertummelt! Thank you, Madam ♥.

Up the hill a bit to the opticians! We have to ring the bell at the side of the door to gain entry. A good idea, it stops anyone without a mask on getting in! I was let in before I could ring it today.

Although I’d put in the last two hearing aid batteries, and got them in the lug-holes, hearing what people were saying was difficult with the mask on. A bit of guess-work and watch the speaker’s reaction techniqueing had to be adopted. Try saying that when you’ve had a few, Hehehe! I was seated, and the lady told me to have a rest for a while. Maybe the walk down the hill took more out of me than I thought – then I wondered how she knew with me wearing the mask? Mmm!

The paperwork was brought to me and we went through everything. Then I was moved into the other side of the shop-divider and was seated again. The ladies kept coming to me and saying something, I missed a lot of what was said, but they seem content with me. Then I went into the test room, and a young lady dealt with me in no uncertain fashion, not for her a sense of humour or a chinwag!

But no doubt she was under pressure, and to give her credit, she did a good job. She knew of my cataracts, cloudy vision and floaters already. I told of the changes since the last visit, which were; being diagnosed with Peripheral Neuropathy, then the stroke, saccades, and diabetes. She was not impressed enough to make a joke or comment.

The eye test was done, all via computer and machines now. I had the first of the puffer tests; when I had a bit of bother with Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters and Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley at the same time, and my right arm shot out, and I knocked over her tray of test lenses! Oh, dear, that didn’t impress the lady either! I’ve had a few Tuts’ thrown at me, but that one was the loudest ever. Oh, dearie me! More eye examining, and a second puffer session.

Then she told me she wanted to put some Mydriacyl, Minims Tropicamide eye drops in both eyes. This would help her to see behind the pupils easier to find any faults and asked me in sort of Herman Goering fashion if that was alright with me if she did the eye drop test. Was I going to say no? No chance! I’d annoyed her with not hearing what she was saying, knocked over her lenses, and couldn’t hold mu head steady enough when she was testing them, I was too scared stiff to even think of saying no!

After I’d agreed, she told me of the possible side effects: Blurred vision, feeling dizzy or faint, this may last several hours after using the eye drops. Do not drive and do not use tools or machines until your vision is clear again, and your reactions are normal. Headache, and feeling sick, but these should soon pass, but if you do not feel well, call the emergency services straight away. Well, that cheered up no-end! Hahaha! She put in the drops and told me to wait for them to work.

I was seated outside of the test room, and another young lady, very patient with me, came and told me I needed new prescriptions, and would I be using the old frames. No, I said. I told her it didn’t matter what the frames looked-like on me, as long as they were cheap and comfortable. She chose tow frames and got the paperwork done. £300 quid! I didn’t question anything, just meekly agreed. (I noticed later, there was +£52, for extras?) She may well have told me about this and I didn’t hear her.

The eyes were stinging, the blurred vision arrived, then the Sturmscharführeress lady got me back in the darkroom, and carried out her examination. ‘Everything is fine, behind the eyes!’ Thank you!

Out and got the paperwork and bill from the other woman. The right eye had got a little worse this time. Which I knew already, the peripheral neuropathy, the nerve problems and the stroke making things deteriorate more rapidly, I wasn’t surprised or worried, it was what I expected. I thanked them and they released me from the shop.

*I poddled to the bus stop up the hill and had a look on the SD card on the camera to see the photo’s I’d taken. A picture I took on the bottom corner of Hall Street, and both of the Mansfield Road photos, were not to be found! How? Why? What?

Had the mysterious wonders of Woodthorpe Court: The Ghosts, Hobgoblins, Boll-Weevils, Aliens, Gremlins, Karakia-cursing entities, Hallucinations. Materialisations, Poltergeist, Lemures, Wairuas, Kehuas, Manifestations that permeate, pass through the pores and interstices of space, through the time-continuum. Usually, without rupture or displacement within the building. To cause havoc, fear and frustration, as they dislodge time itself, in their aspirations and skulduggery, to complete their given by Satan mission; ‘To annoy and scare the bejesus, and scare the pants off of me, now spread so they can get at me when I’m not in the flat? Scary!

The bus arrived, and I maneuvered the trolley onto the vehicle relatively quickly, a faint trace of a Smug-Mode was felt coming on, just as I was swiping my bus pass. Talk about the most inopportune time for it, but Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley burst into life, and the bus pass flew out of my hand, hit the driver, and bounced up and touched the roof of the bus, and fell behind the open door!

But it got even better, I turned to have a try at retrieving the card, and knocked the bag of shopping off of the trolley top! Argh!

A chap behind me, getting on the bus, shot to my assistance, and got the card back for me. (Bent and cracked a little now, hope it still works) Bless his cotton socks!

I felt, what’s the word, erm… muted on the trip back to the flats. The dizziness and cloudiness were starting, from the drops I’d just had, I think. I took the slowest ever walk from the bus-stop to Woodthorpe Court. I wasn’t ill or feeling poorly, I reckon it was with embarrassment.

I got inside and, for some reason, felt a bit betterer in myself? I got the magical disappearing photos camera out and took two shots with it.

Not that I expected them to come out on the card.

I was amazed to see when I got in the flat, to see how early it still was. With all of the farcical events, it felt like had been out for so much longer. 

Then I realised the wristwatch was had stopped working!

I knew some or many things were going to go wrong this morning, but I didn’t realise how severely they would be.

The INR Warfarin Anticoagulation and Deep Vein Thrombosis Clinic blood test results arrived.  The new INR level was 4.1, a smidge high, but nowt to fret over. I was surprised at the high dosages given for me. But, it is best if, “He who thinks but isn’t sure, no longer capable of logicality, and is uneducated, and probably in a muddle brain-wise, is advised not to waffle-on about the unknown and confusing aspects of life or death!” So, I’ll shut up. Hehehe!

I made brew of Thompsons Punjana, dropped it, cleaned it up. Got a drink of orange juice, and on the computer to update the day’s catastrophic tale of my escape from isolating. I felt a little down!

It took me hours to get this done up to here, and I had to stop, I was feeling proper-tired out now. I’ll get something to eat, it’s already gone my head-down time. Humph!

I got the meal prepared and served up, washed the dishes, etc. and settled down in the £300, second-hand, c1968 rickety recliner, and dined. Flavour rating: 7/10.

I took another wee-wee, and got the plate and tray in the sink to soak, and shot back to the chair, in search of sleep.

Zzz!

Inchcock Today: Sat 3rd Jan 2015

Up at 0145hrs WC’d.

Recalled one of the dreams, well a bit of it: On the upstairs of an old double decker bus, only a few seats – people sleeping some on seats some in sleeping backs – arguing between themselves. That’s all I can recall.

I remembered it was the bin collection day so went down put the kettle on and took out a bag and moved the bins to the collection spot.

Took a photo of the street but it was too dark really, the bins didn’t show up at all, but the lights gave an interesting David Bailey display I thought.

Back into the hovel and made me cuppa and returned to the laptop to start this dairy.

I set the reminder thingy on me mobile so as not to forget the Iceland delivery coming presumably between 1100 – 1300hrs today.

WC – found me haemorrhoids a-bleeding Tsk!.

The angina seemed a lot easier this morning, Arhtur Itis still not so good, but overall I think I might still just pass an M.O.T.? Oh, maybe not though. Heheh!

Did Facebooking and blogging for a while, taking me medication with yet another cuppa (Three this morning now, Note to self: Must resist this in future).

Got myself spruced up and well Phorpain-gelled-up-on-the knees, new shoes on and ready to set off to go to town.

The new shoes I chose due to their high quality and classy looks.

(Alright then, they were the cheapest in the Shoe Zone shop – Tsk!)

Then I remembered the Iceland delivery – Tsk!

So made up me medication pot’s while I was waiting.

The delivery came around midday. And they delivered for free! All the stuff was in stock and delivered.

They kitchen towels were light not much on the roll, but very soft and at 4 rolls for a quid good value too.

I’m not walking to town this morning, the rain was too heavy for my liking.

Going to the bank first to sort out why I had received a letter telling me my house insurance had not been renewed when I paid it Monday before last at the bank.

As I approached the bus-stop I could see a youth coming towards me on his bike on the pavement and I got out me camera – as he passed me by I took a photo and shouted out me usual message to the scrote “If yer too scared to ride on the road you shouldn’t be on a bike – can I change yer nappy for yer?”

But he’d got his head down and belting along so fast I don’t think he heard me – perhaps just as well anyway eh?

The bus arrived and was well packed with Senior Citizens using their free bus-passes, as was I of course. Hehe!

The bus dropped us off and I poddled to the bank and recognised the chap who rang for me and paid me Insurance last time I was in.

I explained and he remembered doing it and checked in his computer to find out it had been forwarded to the Insurance company. He could tell I was concerned and rang them for me. But it got busy with people waiting and after going through the ‘Press button so-and-so for…’ routine, he could get no answer from them.

I mentioned at this point that I had similar problems with the BT helpline: He grimaced and said: “Don’t mention them please all the hassle I’ve had with them…” Fancy that I thought, a dissatisfied BT customer…

He hung on the line for a while, but other people waiting were getting a bit agitated so I suggested I call again on Monday and he can try again then? He seemed happy with that, so I gave him a bar of Galaxy, thanked him and left.

Then I walked up to the opticians to inquire about the cost of a pair of Bifocals. She explained that they do not do them any more, only Varifocals because Bifocals had a line across on the lense.

I told her that is why I liked them, but never mind, how much would a pair cost me please? Because I’d bought two pairs recently with the second being half-price, she could do me a pair for 40% off!

So I agreed and she only charged me £70 all in. She was amazed at how I took only 20 seconds to pick the frames out. No fashion statements needed with my mush and age!

I walked back to the City Centre and caught a tram to Bulwell (Sneaking a few seeds to the pigeons as I waited).

When we got to the Tram depot we all had to get off and catch the one behind. No idea why, but it didn’t half set a lot of passenger moaning. Whatever the reason, these things happen in life.

When I dropped off at Bulwell the rain had lessened a bit and I made for the River Leen to feed the mallard ducks and pigeons from the bridge. The river level was twice its normal and the dirty water was flowing very rapidly passed the newly dumped Tesco shopping trolley in the river.

But there were no signs of the Mallards at all? (Sob)

I went to the freezer shop in the hopes of getting some blackcurrant/ice-cream lollies, but was out of luck, none to be found.

Bit of excitement at this point.

As I crossed the road to the market, well I say market, a sad imitation really today. Not many traders or customers about in the rain.

Three youths appeared out of an alley pursued by two police constables and off towards the housing estate.

Excitement over I checked out the other freezer shop for me lollies without success.

I limped to the bus station and caught a number 17 back to Carrington.

The rain was now coming on and off but again not as heavily as earlier.

I took a photo from through the bus window of the station. Not a bird in site.

Was it the rain and wind keeping them away? Weird this I thought.

Read a bit more of me book en-route back to the dump.

Even on my street there were no birds at all. Wish I knew why?

Got in the flea-pit and WC’d then made a cuppa.

Plan to have the potato-gratin later tonight with some sausages I think.

Started this Diary and did a bit of Facebooking.

I enjoyed the Asda Potato Gratin I must say, mind you I hope it doesn’t start the rumbling innards off again.

The pack claimed it serves 4? Well this one didn’t, it just served Inchcock along with a bit of chicken leg and much bread?

Inchcock Today: Monday 29th December 2014

Monday 29th December 2014

Up at 0015hrs.

WC.

When I kept waking up before I actually got up – I recall telling myself several times to remember the dreams, but didn’t write anything down on me pad. So nothing at all is left of the dreams in my mind this morning.

Bother!

Went down and made a cuppa then returned to get the laptop going to do me posts for ‘The League of Mental Men’ and start this diary.

After a few hours when I was creating the Letter to LOMM post – the damned vacillating, fly-by-night, untrustworthy conning BT Internet went down again – lost the lot and had to redo it all.

May BT rot in hell and their top boss Chief executive Gavin Patterson who will be able to earn a maximum of £7m a year in the top job under a revamped pay policy at the telecoms company die a slow painful death with customers present and having a bloody good cheer and laugh! – Nothing personal like, just venting my frustration you see. I wouldn’t like to see the pompous silver-spoon fed chap die slowly over two days really… over five days perhaps! Bitter? Me? Gits!

Up and down resetting the hub repeatedly, closing internet down and opening, turning off and resetting the laptop for a second time seemed to get it back on. Grrrr!

Made another cuppa and created some very pretty tea stain patterns on the stair carpet and me dressing gown on me way back up em. My fingers were sticking a bit this morning, damnable Arthur Itis again.

Biggest fret bothering me now is if I’ll be able to get to the bus stop safely to get into town (Where I hope the ice on the pavements will have been treated) to get me glasses from the opticians and bus to the hospital for me INR Warfarin level tests.

WC.

Cuppa and took me medications. Angina not bad at all, piles hurting but not bleeding, Arthritis hands and knees I must say are not good, ulcer no bother and the turmoil for me innards seems to be easing nicely.

Got myself abluted – struggled a bit with taking the socks off and clean ones on, always thinking about the ice that I’ve got to walk on later.

WC’d. Stomach rumbling a bit…

Set out very gingerly into the Arctic looking street and perambulated my worn knees and overweight body along with the bags down to the end of the street. As I turned right that bit of road and pavement was worse than the one I’d just come off of!

Felt a right fool creeping along nervously trying to avoid the worst of the ice – took me yonks to get to the cut-through to Mansfield Road, and that was a bit dodgy as well.

Even Mansfield Road’s pavements were still dangerous to walk on for an old twit like wot I am.

I got to the bus-stop and as one pulled up I suddenly realised it might not be 0930hrs yet for me to use me bus-pass? The kind driver told me and the lady behind me were a little early, but we can take a seat if we swipe our bus-passes as we get off the bus. That was nice of him. Thank you Sir!

So we did.

Swiped the bus-pass and got off and went into Tesco in Victoria Centre… my weakness for their fresh cream French Horns had taken me over again. Tsk! Of course I got a four cake box mix for the nurses at the Haematology department and told myself that was why I went into Tesco.

Hardly any snow in the City Centre.

Then popped into the cheapo shop and got 4 more Lion bars at 4 for a quid. (Another weakness but hey-ho!).

Then off to catch the Y36 bus to the Queens Medical Centre for my INR blood tests. Another good chappy driver, a rarity for that bus company, very smooth ride. Thank him too!

When I got to the entrance of the hospital the ice again became a problem that needed careful thought and manoeuvring like. Not many people about.

I got in and took me ticket and joined the waiting queue.

Got me Operation Sea-Lion book out and read some of it.

As my number came closer to being called I thought I’d get me Anticoagulation form out and fill it in… but could I find it? I’d got me Opticians letter…

My number was called and I went in and told the nurse that I could not find me form but was sure I picked it up… A loud (probably the loudest I’ve ever heard) Tut, and I could see the look on her face meant she was not going to phone them up on the 4th floor for me – so I tended ‘I’ll go up the Anticoagulation and get a copy shall I?’ ‘You’d better!’

I gave them their nibbles and treats to make the bag lighter on me way up to get a copy of me record.

The lifts had massive queues so I walked up the stairs to the clinic (Painfully).

I think the lady on reception is getting used to my forgetting or losing me record card. She gave me a look of resignation along with her well perfected ‘Silly old sod’ stare and got me a copy straight away bless her.

I limped down back to the haematology and they took me blood and I was off back outside. In the hour and a half I was in the hospital, the snow had actually started to thaw… just a tad mind.

 Caught a bus back into town and made me way to the opticians. Got me googles fitted and walked up to the NHS Audiology Centre on the Ropewalk for me hearing-aid batteries – it was closed.

So I walked down to Specsavers (All this walking carrying me bags should be getting me fit… or something) where I got some for £2.99 a pack two years ago when the same thing happened and the NHS clinic was closed. They are now £4.99 a pack!

I thought it best if I got some bread in to freeze in case the weather stops me awandering like. I called at the Pound shop but they didn’t have any in, well they did but it only had one day left on its sell-by date.

Then I walked through the slab suare on me way to Poundland to look for bread.

There’s a take-away stall I’d not noticed before next to the ice-rink. Busy it was too, and the chips customers were eating smelt and looked nice too. Having a will of steel like wot I have (Lie mode engaged) I was not tempted in the least to get any cause me GP told me not to eat em. 

I got to the Poundland shop and they didn’t have any bread in at all.

As I came to the crossing near the Victoria centre mall again the pedestrians were not in the least bit interested in whatever the crossing lights were indicating. There’s been a few accidents if that’s the word on this corner in the past, I’ve seen two and the pedestrians were at fault each time, yet still they plod over the road using their mobile phones or ipods whatever against the lights. Tsk!

Luckily I only saw a few mobility scooters around today – perhaps the maniac drivers are still sozzled from Christmas?

I decided not to get any bread in town, but call at the Co-op in Carrington on the way back to the dump.

As I turned the corner towards the bus-stop, I thought how nice it was that they had kept the old Victoria train station clock and tower when they built the shopping centre.

They are making many hanges to modernise it now – I hope the clock and tower don’t get pulled down.

Got the bus and dropped off on Mansfield road, the pavements were not as bad as earlier, but not good either yet. I called in the Co-op and they had no bread.

Carefully once more to obviate any accidents I took me time nervously manoeuvring over the ice and got to the flea-pit – WC’d.

As I emptied the bag I found the INR record sheet that I’d used as a page marker in me book! Well blow me down with a feather duster, fancy me doing that!

Tsk! Nothing from the mail-man.

Made me sandwiches ready for later and did a bit of facebooking.

Prayed for Frankie in America who has had massive surgery. A grand chap and battler.

Patti Bekert a friend of both me and Frankie is not too well herself and she’s had surgery recently, but she is supporting Frankie… two great cyber pals.

Tried to watch a DVD but could not concentrate.

Inchcock Today: Wednesday 24th December 2014

I woke at 0340hrs… WC’d and wrote down ASAP the memories I had of the dreams I’d had. Started the laptop then made a cup of tea, WC’d and got the dream memories on this diary:

I was on a train, I think everyone on the crowded train were wearing fancy dress, partying singing, laughing and snogging with each other… the seating was luxurious velvets leather grand…

It seems they were playing a guessing game to identify each others costumes or personality’s they portrayed, despite them all being obvious to me. A lot of them were Christmas or Dickens characters and whoever it was that was supposed to be the Dicken’s Ghost from the passed was the only one who would talk to me at first… not sure what we spoke about at this point… Later we were in a corridor that didn’t exist earlier and the ghost was asking me why I like microwave sausages?

At another point I was in a tiny room on my own that had an empty wardrobe that I was trying to get into to hide maybe? When I climbed out of the wardrobe I was on top of a skyscraper roof, with Nat King Cole singing ‘White Christmas’ as the snow began to cover him… later I managed to get him off the roof and into the train with the fancy dress party going full belt and everyone seemed intoxicated…

The ghost came up to me and laughed telling me more was to come and France would declare peace with Britain soon? But I must sign his walking stick first? The quill I had to use was too heavy for me to lift… the walking stick was exactly like mine but melted when I touched it… Santa appeared and spoke with the ghost asking him why Scrooge (meaning me) had been invited? The Ghost replied: “No it was 1-1 at half time and Dennis Law was offside!”…

I was lying on a butchers bench… chickens pecking at me, I was tied-up…

Tea bags were thrown over me and I was demanding milk to go with them?…

The ghost appeared again stopping the crowd from covering me and gave me my medications telling me I must take these before I land on Venus?…

Later a dinosaur had me in a tree… calling me Dadda?

That’s all I recall, but still a lot more than I can usually remember of my dreams?

The angina is still easier this morning, a lot easier. The niggling cough and sore throat linger on and the turmoil from within and wind remained but not so bad it seems. We’ll see how they go.

Took my medications with the by now cold cuppa. Urgh!

Went down and made a fresh mug of tea. The knees not too keen on my moving now. Huh!

When I made the graphic above for the dream memories Coreldraw9 packed up on me – too much memory used perhaps for the laptop to cope with – that reminds me, the computer shop bloke said he’s ring me about doing up a laptop for me me and he has not called… fancy that, me picking someone unreliable to deal with?

After a bit more (Well a lot more then) Facebooking and blogging I went downstairs and found a letter had been delivered. It was from the Boots Opticians informing me my spectacles were ready for collection and fitting. I wondered if they would be open today but thought surely they would, and on the letter they gave their opening times as Monday to Friday 0900hrs to 1730hrs.

I poddled back upstairs WC’d and cleansed my weary body, teggies shaved etc in readiness for a good walk I’d planned while doing meself up like. I’ll walk to Asda to see if I can get some of the cocktail-frankfurters, then catch the tram into town, collect me glasses and take some photographs at the same time in the City Centre.

I was listening to Smooth Radio when cleaning me feet and shaving (Not at the same time mind!) and they played Nat King Cole singing ‘Let there be love’ – fatal for me, I’ve had it in my head and even been singing it throughout the day and even now as type away. Funny how some singers and songs trigger you off innit?

A pleasant sky this morning – no birds about though, wonder what that’s indicative of?

I’d like to warn others that singing while shaving is likely to cause the odd cut or two to your chin and lip if yer not careful… Tsk! Good job they weren’t playing Good Golly Miss Molly, Rock-a-hula Baby or Waitin’ in School else I might have bled to death with me feet in a bowl of water!

I set off on me walk to Asda – I wasn’t too cold at all, and the wind seemed to have lessened a tad too. The usual cyclists on the pavements were present throughout me walk.

As I arrived at Asda, the angina started – Huh! Get rid of one ailment and another takes it place eh?

The packed Asda Car park

The place was cram-packed solid – the shelves looked extremely bare and folk were either waiting for trolley/baskets or using their prams and pushchairs – utter mayhem. And the shoppers were not happy so decided against taking a photo of them.

The sparse flea-market

I decided not to risk entering and walked on and out (taking a photo of the crammed car-park en route) to the Radford Road tram-stop and catch one to town. Remembering to swipe me bus-pass before I got on.

Itook a photo of the Flea-market behind the tram-stop. Very sparse!

I could be see the tram about 400 yards away – it could not get passed the traffic jam where the Asda entrance was with care stuck half in and out! It took about ten minutes to get to the stop, but it was free running after that cause the route took it off Radford Road a few yards beyond the bus-stop.

Closed! Well fancy that!

The tram was packed too, but I got the last spare seat I think. As we passed the Arboretum I was pleased to see a family feeding the mallards.

I dropped off in the slab-square and made my way up Friar Lane to the Boot’s opticians shop – that was closed!

They will be open next Monday though. Tsk again!

CPO with a pigtail – not a good shot though Tsk!

So I plooded down to the festivities in the Slab-square and had a limp around… camera in my pocket ready for anything interesting. As I left the tram platform two CPOs (Community Protection Officers) passed my and I suprised to see one of them with long blonde hair tied up at the back with black tape. I got out me camera as quick as I could but by the time I was ready they had  moved out of focus for me – but the two lads sat on the seemed to think they were the subjects for my photographs. Hey-ho!

By-gum the cooked eats smelt wonderful!

The aroma from one of the food stalls was overpowering and delicious. It took me a while waiting to get a break in the shoplifters… I mean shoppers to get a shot of the cooked meats being served-up in cobs and sandwiches… Mmmm!

I forced myself to hobbled on away from temptation, through the other stalls en route to my bus-stop to catch one home.

Really cute Yorkies

I noticed a couple with two Yorkie dogs that they had done up with Santa coats and thought thay had done a good job on them.

I had to take the picture quickly before they merged with the crowds and didn’t made a very good job of it I’m afraid, in fact I made a mess of it, all blurred.

Still, the thought was there.

Naughty little parker!

I walked up Clinton Street taking care not to get knocked over by the rushing mob of shoppers coming the other way.

I managed to get towards the bus stop and heard a lot of car and what turned out bus horns blowing… I turned to investigate and there was a Lexus 4×4 car parked near the traffic lights on double yellow lines holding up the buses as they were stuck in between the lights.

He was not a popular chappy at all!

By the time I’d got me camera out the lights had changed and the buses cleared – seconds later he had picked up his passenger and moved off – only to be waved down my an ossifer of the law a hundred yards or so further on along the road.

The walkover out of Victoria centre across the road, is where I often take photos from of the traffic.

I caught the bus, again very full back to Carrington and hobbled with now aching knees and feet back to the flea-pit.

As I turned towards my street I noticed how the sky had changed from how it looked when I left the dump. Now more threatening perhaps, but still beautiful to me like.

Got in WCd and started laptop, made a cuppa and spilt it going upstairs.

Swore and went down and made another.

Updated this Diary of Woe.

Inchcock Today: Thursday 18th December 2014

0300hrs up and tending to WC demands. (As jazz vocalist Mel Tormé recorded in 1960 – ‘Just in time’)

Amazingly I found notes scribbled about a dream I’d had and also remembered about the Boot’s optician appointment at 1100hrs today!

I could remember little bit of scenes if that’s the word from the dream:

I was in the back of a car a Ford Corsair… with an old boss from my Tesco days Mr Wynera driving and laughing maniacally and he kept offering me a Rothman’s cigarette telling me to use the tobacco in my pipe?

Then I was at a fairground somewhere that was flooded and everyone was going around in boats, dingies etc. And everyone seemed intent on throwing darts at me, or trying to scoop me up off my raft with giant hooks?

Then I was bundling firewood at a bench – now in my young days I did have a job doing this, but in the dream everything was clean, no dust no splinters and somewhere in the background was a stage with Helen Shapiro singing “Walking back to happiness” and winking at me?

Then I was turning the knobs on a Rediffusion radio receiver and fists kept coming out of it and belting me in the face for a time, then voices started to insult me.

That’s all I can recall at the moment, and I had to use the notes to remember those bits. But I can’t remember writing the notes on a kitchen towel drum?

Ah-well onward.

Started the laptop and made a cuppa.

WC.

The angina seems to have eased at last… but I’ll see how it goes. The arthritis is still bothersome this morning.

Summat’s going on, I can hear the police helicopter and see the reflections from its searchlight coming through the window. Hope they catch ’em!

Took me medications, passed wind and utilised the WC.

Did some Facebooking and blog reading then got myself ready for  the walk to the Boot’s opticians – that is as soon as I’d found me bus-pass so I don’t have to walk back from town.

The missing Police ARV

Where did find them you ask? (Or not like) On the top of me stack of medications.

I walked onto Mansfield Road and towards town. At the junction of Hucknall Road I heard a klaxon of an approaching emergency vehicle of some sort, and thought I’d get me catch out to catch a photo of it…

 No chance, it was the new Police ARV SUV and before I could take it, it had threaded its way through the traffic and was off.

Mansfield Road into Nottingham – Oddly little vehicular traffic about?

I plodded on up the hill without too much bother as the knees were not so bad or the angina this morning.

As I walked over the brow of the hill I was so amazed at the lack of vehicular traffic I took a photo down the hill into town. (Not that I carried a photo down the hill like yer know, it were the view down the hill which I should have said in the first place and saved missen all this typing like).

I walked through the upper level of Victoria Centre and at a Man’s Man shop I spotted a make-your-own-old-fashioned Radio Receiver Kit in the window on sale – this prompted me to remember I had not yet got anything for me Sister Jane and Brother-in-law Pete present-wise.

Jane’s Gift Voucher and Pete’s Radio Kit

So I called in and got one for him. He loves doing things like that and I hope he’ll be tickle him pink with it… or not like.

Then I went to the Next shop that Jane uses and likes an bought a £5000 gift voucher so she an at her leisure and choose something. (Oh, the noughts must have stuck sorry… it was a £50 gift voucher Hehehe)

A sparse shopping mall earlier today

I left the centre well pleased with myself and on the way out took a photograph of the pathetic Christmas tree in the mall – and the few people in it, very sparse. Mind you when I came back later it was well packed.

Some people eh… they just do not want to gerrup in a mornin’!

Decent mix of Nottingham buses for our friends in America, Australia and Canada to see

As I crossed the bridge across Upper Parliament Street I took a photo of the buses in the traffic. Mainly for our American, Australian and Canadian friends because I know some of them think out buses are cute.

I pressed on through town towards the opticians and heard a bloke asking someone where Nottingham Castle is – I interrupted telling the bloke to follow me. But he had a job walking that slow. So I took him on to the bottom of Friar Lane where the Castle could be seen from and pointed it out to him, warning him of the £5 charge to get in.

He never not even thanked me – Tsk!

Still a tad early, my logical brain had told me to take a book with me. Cunning eh?

They sat me down and I read me Operation Sea Lion book for a bit, then a lady came to take some details and I returnedt o me book.

After a while the opthalmist chappie came and took me into a room to check me eyes. He did a thoruogh job and i was in there for an our and a half.

When I came out a lady took me over to the frames to pick a couple of pairs – this i did in about 30 seonds and handed them to her. Amazed she said she had never known any customer to choose so quickly. I joked “At my time of life and in medical condition it’s best not to hang about M’am. The poor thing didn’t know whether to laugh or not despite the big grin on me face.

“Which one’s would you like for your reading glasses?” she asked.

“Not bothered, you choose please.” I answered.

“Well the lighter ones might be best for you long distance and everyday wear?”

“Smashing idea, thanks we’ll go for them then”

I liked this woman, she was learning quick cause she grew a big smile too.

She said it normally takes a week for them to come back, but may take longer as a weeks time is the holidays.

“Fair enough, if I’m still alive can yer send me a letter when they come in please. She said she would. Bless her.

Then it came to the payment ans she said “That will be £159 please”

“Oh” I joked “Yer want paying then?”

She’d got the hang of me by now and replied.

Gorgeous aromas came from the food stalls guarded by CPOs

“Best if you do in case you drop off before they’re ready!”

As I said before, I was taken by this gal.

I decided to take a walk back to Tesco in the Victoria centre to get some French Horns that they had ran out of yesterday.

As I was walking through the Slab square the smells of different cooking at the fairly busy Winter Wonderland stall was very appealing, but I resisted the temptation to try any.

And the time is…

I noted the time on Little John (As opposed to Big Ben in London) as I passed an lurched onward towards Tesco in the Victoria Centre yet again.

On the way up the very busy (pedestrian-wise) King Street, a bloke nearly knocked me over bless him. He (like so many other folk in the town) was concentratin on hos mobile phone. But at least this chap stopped and showed a bit of concern for me ‘ealth.

The arthritis was getting a bit bothersome now, as I traipsed into the centre and wearily struggled though the now heavily congested crowds. It took me ages to get to the other end avoiding getting injured by the once again seemingly unhappy mob of shoppers.

I never thought I’d be nervous just trying to walk in a crowd, but there you are, yer can’t avoid ageing yer know.

There were a good few mobility scooters threateningly lurking, but no bother today thank heavens.

Eventually I got to Tesco and made straight for the Cream Horns, they had some in stock today and I snaffled a pack of two and had a walk around safe in the knowledge that I could treat missen tonight. (Smug mode adopted)

I also got some bread, polish ham and a Krakoswka roasted pork loin joint that had a sell-by-date of January 3rd on it, more luxury in the Inchcock kitchen.

I took thee longer route out into the fresh air to avoid the crowds in the mall and went to catch the bus home.

The angina still behaving itself.

My bag and its guilty contents at me feet!

When I got on the bus, I took a photo of me bad and it’s guilty contents at me feet!

Got home and WC’s, started the laptop, put me nosh away and put the presents in a bag for Jane and Pete so I didn’t lose em.

Then I made some Polish ham sandwiches for later and brewed a cuppa for missen.

Only had one dizzy spell (Up to now like) today, that was in Tesco, so not so bad.

Feeling tired again already.

Did some blogging Facebooking and checked me emails.

Going to post this early, because I’m weary.

If owt happens I’ll add it to me Friday’s Diary.

Cheers all… 

Inchcock Today: Wednesday 17th December 2014

Wednesday 17th December

Sprang awake at 0250hrs.

Angina still bothersome too.

WC.

Graphic wot I dun to explain the only bit of the dream I could remember

Again I could remember wanting to remember a dream but could not remember much – only corridors and passages with me being lost with my shopping bags. I’m sure there was much more to the nightmare but… no real memory?

Made a cuppa and started laptop.

No internet connection again, so I restarted the laptop… got message 32Fat is unstable – checking. Or something like that, went through and opened alright with internet connection back on?

WC.

Did some blogging and Facebooking.

Another cuppa and took me medications.

Got myself ready to go out with the intention of going to Derby and feeding the dicky-birds…

However…

Putting me glasses (Spectacles) on and the left lense fell out! It took me an hour to find it. Kept it safe in glasses box with the damaged frame – then spent another hour looking for me old glasses to wear on me journey.

So, rearranged me plans for the day and set off on me walk into town… that turned into a bus ride into town on account of the wet rain like.

Another interesting bus ride it was too.

The single decker bus was crammed with passengers like sardines in a can. There was hardly room to move let alone any seats. And when the poor devils who wanted to get off at stops the poor devils who were stood hanging on for life to the bars had to shuffle off and back on the bus to allow them to get off!

I laughed on about the third time this happened and a woman asked me “If I thought it was funny?” I replied “Well it’s certainly an interesting ride isn’t it?” She was not impressed and grumpft at me.

Ah-well.

Depressing view I thought

When I got off the bus in town and walked down towards the City centre, the view demanded a photo from me.

Most suitable I thought for how I felt at that moment… Sparse, barren, dark, dank, wet and depressed. Tsk!

 Hey-ho.

View of Nottingham Slab Square today

I pressed on and down into the slab square, where the lights on the Winter-Wonderland Festival showed up brightly in the dark wet weather.

It would have been about 1100hrs I imagine then, but still the light of day did not appear – the gloom won in more than one way to me.

I walked up Friar Lane to the Boots Opticians shop and explained my problem to the lady there.

She took the glasses off of me and said she’s be a few minutes, take a seat. I preferred to stand in case me knees froze up and took a look through the frames on display on the walls.

A few minutes later she returned and explained: As she was taking the spectacles out of the case – one of the nose supports dropped off! Have you any shopping to do?

I’m got to go to the bank?

See you later then.

Thank you.

As I left the shop and wandered down towards the bank I pondered, what next?

In two days I’ve broken a tooth, cut me tongue, the Angina is bad, me dizzy-spells are back, lost me glasses lense and now had to get a new nose thingy replacement?

The dentists next month, my slippers have split, my picker has broken…

As I said before, Hey-ho!.

So I sorted things at the bank and returned to the opticians. Collected me repaired spec’s and made an appointment to 1100hrs in the morning to have me eyes tested.

I was getting more depressed although I couldn’t figure out why as the day went on.

More spending by Inchcock – Tsk!

I poddled up into Victoria Centre to the cheapo shop and got another 4 for a pound Lion Bars – fatal again for me wallet that. Because the shop was opposite the HMV shop and I veered across to foolishly look at the DVDs on offer. They had an interesting looking film with Stallone and  Schwarzenegger called ‘Escape Plan’ It was in the 2 for a pound display so I got another ‘The Secret Life of Walter Mitty’ with Ben Stiller.

Then I went into Tesco to get some Cream Horns that I’m addicted to… but they didn’t have any…. Sob! Boo!. I asked an assistant and he went to have a look if they had any in stock and came back with a negative answer. But it was nice of someone to try innit?

I should have just left… well I did… but not until I purchased two different cream cakes to take with me – No Willpower at all me! Tsk, huh and blabberpinkles!

Anti-social Scum-free Street today! Yippee!

Ashamed of spending too much again, I made my way to the bus-stop and dropped off on Hucknall Road.

Walked up the hill and turned right into my road and it hit me: (Pleasantly) There were no apprentice yobs in view! Perhaps the rain had put them off?

Who knows…

Got in, made a cuppa and updated this Diary.

Tried to watch a DVD… gave up when I kept falling asleep.

Must remember the opticians appointment in the morning!