Inchcock Today: Escape To Sherwood!

My EQ had already warned me, today would be different, special,
But I’ll have to be prepared for aggravation, be on my metal!
But explained things won’t be wrong, not an early burial…
But plans, like life, can be so decoctible…
Plans, well mine, are easily cock-uppable!
However, EQ’s warnings were mostly corrigible.

I thought that my will-power and contentment was indestructible,
Which, to say the least, was a rarity and unexplainable!
I got the blog created and sent off… although it was minimal,
The Carer was a smidge depressed, not very cheerful,
Gave him a can of Gin in thanks, told him to be safe, be careful,
Departing, the Carer definitely seemed a bit more gleeful,
Which made me feel better; did you know he was bilingual?

I only did a small blog, the eyes are getting worse, seeing less,
Still can’t get the photos on the computer – I’m at my pottiest!
Sorting out the paperwork needed for ophthalmologist,
The Bank Manager, whose visit I’d have gladly missed…
And added herb-slices to my little shopping list,
Readied things for the escape, shopping, bank and optometrist…

Here we go…

I got to the door, seeing I’d enacted my habit of being a noctambulist,
Boxes had been moved, stuff out on the trolley, can a hypnotist,…
Be consulted, for I do not recall getting from bed; was I pissed?
I think not; I stopped drinking years ago… mind you, it’s still missed!
Some bits of paper on the carpet as well, to be honest…
I don’t think my mind is at its mentally healthiest…
Hit my head picking stuff up… but this was not to be the painfullest,
Half an hour later, I felt at my poorliest…

I hobble out along to Winchester Street, limping down the hill,
A car parked on the pavement again, cruel and evil…
Not sliding in the wet leaves was taking all my skill…
I was soon swearing like the devil!
I tripped on the crack underneath the leaves, twisted my knee…
Bagged my leg falling on the soggy gravel,
It hurt, but so did me wanting to have a pee!
But more important was my desire to see Jillie!

My tumble meant nothing now; I hobbled like the devil,
My mission is to see Jillie, whatever the peril…
My fears and pain had disappeared – they were nihil!
We met, and in her arms I did cradle…
Nothing mattered then, even my wanting a piddle!.

The time shot by while I was Jillie, my lover… in my mind
She’s regal, beautiful, and so very kind…
I found her 60 years too late; it drives me out of my mind!
But she had partly adopted me, that was so very kind,
She is a gift, a pleasure, a desire, of all mankind ♥

Jillie walked with me to the opticians, beautifully coiffured,
She is even aware before I say so when something I’ve misheard!
A treasure-find for me, patient and so good-natured!
My confidence was boosted, hopes temporarily recaptured…
Into see the ophthalmologist room, to have the eyes inspected!
Prodding and eyes, the drops all done; 20 minutes, I waited…

The Oculist came out with the problem after I was examined,
The result was not unexpected… I’m overly cataracted!
She set the ball rolling for me to have two lenses fitted…
Paperwork to the Doctors’ was remitted…
She explained further to me of the operation…

Risky at my age, but without it, I’ll be blind within a year
As was expected and natural to me, worry, but no fear.

Gave me some leaflets to read. There is no point in prescribing the new glasses until after the operation. Because having two plastic lenses replacing the genuine lenses would alter the sight a lot, they will sort the spectacles out with another examination after the procedure.

Also, she can look into the Glaucoma and Saccades issues after my getting and trying the new spectacles. Which can’t be done until so many weeks after the operation has been completed. Ah, well! Only what I expected, really.

I had the pleasure of thanking them, and going with Jillie to the bank. Which took a lot of her time, but she was very patient. We went into a room with an advisor. I could not hear what he was saying, and the rapidly declining eyesight meant I could no longer see well enough to try lip-reading. But, Jillie did all the talking for me. ♥ She asked about the Carers Direct Debit situation, and the chap told her, as she explained afterwards, I had no idea what was going on, Hehe! that the transactions were set up, but nothing had gone out yet? Crumplemost Confusing!

After a long time, we left the bank, and Jillie had to help me with the cash machine to get some money out. Bless Her! I don’t know what I’m going to do when the gal is unavailable!

Got some bits from the local continental store, not a lot; I’ve got a food delivery coming in the morning.

We walked back to Jillie’s house, and I got a hug (Boy, that felt good!) as we parted. Despite the morning’s happenings, I felt up to walking up the hill back to the flats!

I got in and made a meal. Gobbled it up, and sat down; and fell right asleep! For about four hours! Got up, and I started to mop the kitchen floor as Carer Richard arrived. We had a little natter, but he was in a rush. So I gave him one of his favourites, a pink gin and tonic, thanked him as he departed. Then got on with the moping again.

I sat down with a mug of Glengettie tea to watch Heartbeat on the box… But only managed about ten minutes, and I drifted off again.


After an hour, I sprang awake in absolute agony! The hobble (I imagine) had set off Colin Cramps, and boy was he giving me some pain! Worse, he went on all night until about 04:30 in the morning!

MedPhorpainI used up an entire tube of Phorpain overnight! But it did me no good. Even taking two co-codamol didn’t ease things at all! All in the left foot and leg. Knob-Gobs! I’ve never had cramps so bad in my life before?

The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe In Rhyme

25 thoughts on “Inchcock Today: Escape To Sherwood!

    • Spot-On. I’d be lost without her, loving her helps as well.
      The Carer woman who said she is going to get me the packaging to send Bill his books, has not been seen since? Tsk!

      • You used to be able to send books outside countries at a special rate so it didn’t cost so much. I don’t know if that applies anymore.

      • The Meridian care leader, has not been back in touch with me at all, since she offered to get the packaging for me. I foolishly let on to Bill about the books, and still waiting three weeks later. Hey-Ho!
        I’ll ask at te Post Office if ever I can get the packaging from the Meridian ‘Care Team’ leader, leaderess Natalie. Bets she’s up to the neck in it with failed turn ups.
        Cheers Mon Ami.

      • It looks like media mail is domestic only in the USA. I did not see any media mail listing for international mail. I shipped a lot of books to the USA when I lived in Spain. The Spanish post office had a media rate that was slow but cheap. That was many years ago.

  1. Nice to get out on a mid-January day on down Winchester to visit the eye doctor and receive an update on those cataracts, hope they slow down in their cataracting. Very nice always to have a wonderful sort such as Jillie come your way, even if 60 years disappeared into the pile of old calendars in the intervening years. Better late than never? I think so. Tomorrow is my youngest sister’s birthday, she is 16 year older than the likes of us and is a spirit such as Jillie and there is no mistaking or faking that.

    • Thanks Billum. Kindly pass on my bestest wishes for the gal, nearer the day for me… Cheers.
      I know I don’t wtch a lot of TV, but I’ve lost the remote control! Searched last night for hours without any luck. Tsk! So, no Heartbeat for me anymore. Cragnangles! I’m a lucky bugger!

      • I shall indeed pass on your finest greetings to the gal who is presently sleeping after being up more than 24 hours — far from a record for HRH, she has a lengthy list of people who seek guidance, good advice, and great writing. I’ve actually spent very little time at the TV through my entire life. Shows that everyone has seen are unknown to me, just as well methinks. it is much more relaxing to produce some more sketches of the Ambiguoids from the planet Ambiguia: an unknown orb that has a distinction of being among planets never known and — such as Pluto — planets that have been relegated like an unfortunate football club to the status of Big Rock that wanders around the sun in an unseeming manner. Hey, it makes its way around the same sun, has to chug the longest distance than any “real planet, and does some good stuff for the Disney people. Those picky astronomers should have their names taken away and called “unpersons” in the manner of those relegated similarly in 1984. Just opining of course.
        Bloggers for Pluto — a good bumpersticker?

      • A worthy read, there, Billum. Wasn’t Pluto in Popeyes comics?
        I haven’t got a bumper anymore, Billum. But you can out one on a tee-shirt mayhaps? Bet it would suit you, too!

      • I do not recall seeing those two in the same place. Methinks that Popeye would welcome a noble friend such as Pluto. Olive Oyl would like him as well.

Leave a Reply