Lament to the end of the Weevil War – or is it?

Lament in Ryme

To the End of the Weevil War – Or is it?

Willmott Dixon started to upgrade my minuscule flat,
New windows were installed, that started the waring combat,
EIBWBBBs (Evil Ironclad Boll-Weevil black biting beetles) and a bat,
All came in and immigrated, hibernated, and that was that!
T’was eighteen months ago; and a long time is that,
They ate the food, and I was often bitten at!

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It cost me hundreds of pounds,
Bug killers and traps did abound,
My coughing was the loudest sound,
But the poisoning of my lungs was allowed,
No help came, although I protested very loud,
I got the blame, NCH responsibility they disavowed!

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I found the battle, very fascinating,
But no signs for months of their abating,
They found my apartment very accommodating,
And with the little Weevils, I started acquainting,
Although mixed in with some aberrating,
At least their bites had no sting!

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Spraying Rentokill three times a day became a realisation,
Their cunning skills at survival caught my appreciation,
The Rentokil put me more than them, into aestheticisation,
The numbers grew rapidly of their aggrupation,
If I was ever to win this war, this losing altercation,
I needed more help, stronger ammunition!

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My health suffered from this losing situation,
My battle plans were in need of analysation,
I planned to use bleach, and soda as acidification,
But they just swam in it, I was losing with ambiguation.

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Of victory, I had no hopes nor anticipation, furthermore…
The effects of the spray left me with a cough and snore!
My further pleas for help, others did ignore,
Until another flat got the Weevils, they got help from me for sure!
Slowly the Weevil numbers faded, not so many anymore…
But occasionally, they’d return, these nasty, Weevil detrivore,
Last week, they came onto the keyboard while I used CorelDraw!
But yesterday was the first day when I saw them no more!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Oh, sod-it! I just went to make a mug of tea and spotted this. Tsk!

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Oh, Woe is me!

Inchcock – Fri 11 Jan 2019: I’d fallen asleep with the meal-tray precariously balancing on my bulbous belly. I woke, the food scattered over the recliner and a decorously enhanced food covered stomach! Tsk!

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jan11 2019

Friday 18th January 2019

Swahili: Ijumaa 18 Januari 2019

 00:02hrs: I laid for hours trying to get to sleep. I gave up when I heard a buzzing noise? At first, I thought it was in my head or perhaps I had nodded off again and was dreaming. I had to get up to investigate. I was up and out of the £300 second-hand recliner like a young-un! I still fail to see why every morning I appear to wake-up in different moods and physical conditions?

4thu06WD 51.0.0 There was no light flashing on the landline telephone. So I went to the intercom phone, no calls one on there either. I had a search and fumble around and found my Nokia mobile, nothing on there. Mind you, the battery was as dead as a dodo, so there wouldn’t be would there. I put it on charge. Haha! Went to the door in case the chime had been ringing, no one about. Well, now I was stumped and flummoxed! But pleased to notice the lack of any signs of nocturnal-nibbling having taken place.

I went to the kitchen to get the Health Checks done and had to divagate to the wet room and the Porcelain Throne. The evacuation went well, and the wee-wee was remarkably short and weak (another change!).

5fri001bCleaned-up and to the kitchen. Noticing just one dead EIBWBBB (Evil Ironclad Boll-Weevil black biting beetle) on the draining board?

How and why, are they all getting up on there just to die? Yesterday’s Weevil bodies were actually in the bowl of water in the sink?

Finally, I got the Health Checks sorted out, then the medications were taken.

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5fri001The SYS had gone up, but the DIA was well down at 56, the lowest its ever been actually.

I’ll have to ask what this means or indicates when I see the nurse and doctor next Tuesday.

I made a brew of Assam tea an took it with me to the computer and started on the updating of yesterday’s Inchcock Today. I got it finished off and posted.

5fri003aWD 51.0.0 As I was doing this, an immediate and urgent need to pass water arrived. I had no time to get to the wet room. Fortunately, I still had the grey plastic bin in position nearby. I fumbled about, tearing the pyjamas as I fought to get Little Inchy out in time, and only just made it! It was so antithetical to my earlier pathetic wee-wee – this one 5fri004was back to the full-blown LHBLPWW’s (Long Hosepipe-Blasting like Painful Wee-wee) style! It was resolute, unrelenting, uncontrollable, uncontainable, powerful and it stung a bit. Oy gevalt! I even had a Dizzy Dennis visit at the same time! I swear the bucket was half full by the time things had settled down. Core Blimey! I had to stand still for a few moments to let the dizzies pass. Then I emptied the bin in the toilet and cleaned and disinfected things. And returned the wastebin to the side of the computer chair, for my EQ told me to. That was so unexpected!

Mainly because of yesterdays relenting of the pressure wee-wees and as I thought, things were getting back to normal… but no! Tsk! The legs felt the same as they did on Thursday, the tops seemed more filled than the lower half of them, but overall far less retention than of the previous few days… I’m losing it here.

I had few minutes Facebooking, then began to do this blog.

WD 51.0.0 Ten minutes later, a repeat performance of the LHBLPWW’s (Long Hosepipe-Blasting like Painful Wee-wee) arrived! Even more of it came out, but slightly less forceful at least.

WD 51.0.0 Ten more minutes or so, and yet again an LHBLPWW’s (Long Hosepipe-Blasting like Painful Wee-wee) suffered!

Did some work on the next batch of TFZer graphicalisations.

Twenty minutes more, or so, and yet again another LHBLPWW’s (Long Hosepipe-Blasting like Painful Wee-wee) suffered! But not so much this time. (It slowed down progressively after this one).

Got the ablutions tended to. Took some black bags to the waste chute on the way out with a bag of recyclables. I took the walking stick with me, in case the toes started to play up again.

I met Lynne as I left the foyer, and we exchanged a few words and a laugh. Which I enjoyed.

Dropped the bag off and hobbled to the Nottingham City Homes, Winwood Heights Flats, and Administration shed for the Generalleutnantess Wardens Temporary HQ, Willmott-Dixon workers breakfast and tea-break room, Sarcasm & Insult Exchange and distribution area, Tenants Socialisation Shed. Rumourmongering Clinic. Telling Inchcock off Zone, Things like crockery and pottery to be stolen from, and residents complaint formulation corner of the room. Hehehe!

5fri006Taking this photograph on the right, of the centre compound and Winchester Court as I limped along.

Only three bodies in when I arrived. Riechsführeress and Catwalk Model Kamp-Warden Deana, Mary and ready-with-his- insults Roy. Seconds later the room filled with many more residents, and others outside joining the bus-stop queue. A natter, and then I popped out to the bus stop to be verbally maligned and more chinwagging.

I had that nagging doubt that I had forgotten something!

A natter again on the bus to Arnold, well, I got off in Daybrook actually and popped into the Sainsbury store to get some bread and have a quick nosey. Time was limited, as I hoped to catch the same bus I went on, back to the flat. Giving me only about 20 minutes to get the fodder and out to the bus stop in time. I got a move one like a young un! (Fib Mode Engaged!)

I used the self-serve check-outs but needed assistance twice from the instantly fed-up-with-me, assistant. Humph! I came out with: A brown part-baked baguette, a beef meat pie, Brown bread thins, Blue Stilton cheese, mushrooms and a turnip, and £8 lighter in the pocket.

5fri007Departed and across the pelican lights to the bus stop.

The L9 bus was due in eight minutes. A friendly lady (Cream coat and hat) I had met before on the bus and I had a chinwag. 

WD 51.0.0 As we got on the bus… I could not find my bus pass! The lady showed great empathy with me and my situation, as I was grubbing about in a desperate search to find the card, bless her cotton socks. ♥

It took me ages to find it, going methodically through all of my pockets, I eventually discovered I’d put it the same place as the medical alert card… Phew! 5fri007a

When the bus got in Sherwood, three of my beloved fellow tenants got on.

When we arrived home, I said my thanks and farewells to the lady in cream.

The three residents from my Woodthorpe Court, all shot off ahead of me. But, having the walking stick with me, for one I caught up with them.

Oh, how I wish you could have been with the four of us as we used the lift! The banter was brilliant! The persiflage, badinage and repartee flowed! It was so pleasing to hear. The four of us, all suffering from barbacoa, but within the confined space, we all listened to the others insults, raillery, ridicule and teasing. Talk about laugh! And, with two four-wheeled shopping trolleys all crammed into the lift cage, it was such a tight fit, too! Hahaha!

I got into the flat in a great frame of mind and mood, that’s due to the few events in that elevator. 

Into the flat, had a wee-wee, and from here on they were all SSPWWs (Short, Sharp, Painful-Wee-wees), plenty of them mind.

I put the fodder away, checked the mushrooms in the slow-cooker, and got on with updating this blog.

I made a mug of tea and did the Health Checks. Taking this photo below and putting my ugly-mush on it. To try and see if I could use it as a rotating page header on WordPress. Got it on!

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5fri33CorelDrawing for a while.

Then got the nosh sorted out. It looked great, healthy, tasty and one of the best vittles I’d served up for ages…

WD 51.0.0 But, Oh dearie me!

I’d fallen asleep with the tray still precariously balancing on my bulbous belly. I woke with the dish and plate scattered over the recliner and a highly decorously enhanced adorned stomach. The artwork consisted of bits of lettuce, a boiled egg, sliced mushrooms. Stilton cheese crumbs, broken chestnuts and a knife.

The dessert and spoon miraculously had dropped on the carpet, making minimal spillage as well, with the pot upright!

WD 51.0.0 I was not a happy chappy. The self-recriminating and disgust at myself started as I painfully got up and sorted out the mess. I think I had managed to eat some of the meal before I drifted off to kip because I later spotted there were smudges of sauce on my chin? Took me ages to clean it and myself up. Klutz!

It might have been considered as fortuitous though, for I found that I had not taken the evening medications or done the Health Checks, so I got them done.

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I mixed some spring water with a bit of lime cordial, climbed into the £300 second-hand rickety rinky-dink recliner, and as I pondered on my failing and magical Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplop attracting skills… Zzzz!