Saturday 30th March 2019
שבת 30 מערץ 2019 – Yiddish
01:15hrs. I woke with the occasion implosion – followed an explosion, from within the catacombs of my innards. “Ah, I thought, at last, a possible successful evacuation is building up. I felt quite smug at my ploy of having the chilli meal last night, in support of the many failed Senna tablets! I slowly began to move the joints and limbs of my overly-stomach-burdened body. Anny Gyna, Duodenal Donald, Reflux Roger, Hernia Henry, Kidneys Kevin and so on; all seemed in a good mood with me!
A cracking rumble from the innards, encourage me to evacuate the rickety, now working again £300, ci 1968 second-hand recliner with all the haste I could muster! Off to the wet room, and onto the Porcelain Throne.
Things began to move, as soon as I sat down. But, so slowly and painfully. I’ve often referred to such evacuation contents as torpedo-like in the past. This morning’s agony-ridden description would be Submarine-like! How my five-foot long canal from the end of the small intestines to my rear-end evacuation point the last part of the digestive system stayed undamaged amazed me. How it was not torn-open, and how such a mass of that size got through my tubes, I just don’t know!
After I had recovered from the shock and suffering, another thing puzzled me; How the heck did the plumbing manage to get all that down to the sewers? The best part of the whole episode was that I did not see a single speck of blood anywhere during or after the procedure. I was a bit nervous after cleaning up and going to make a mug of tea, as I found that wind was escaping of its own accord, for several minutes. I assumed this was my innards, either celebrating getting rid of or preparing for the next dollop brewing up. Hehehe!
Sys 138, Dia 68, Pulse 86 and Temperature 34.5°, all looking good methinks.
I got the computer on and started on this blog creation. Made up the days Thought Graphic, and had a DTAAD (Dribble-tinkle-and-all-done) wee-wee. With sharp involuntary bursts of what sounded like a two-stroke engine from the rear-end, bursting forth, and painful they all were too!
I got far as here on this page and realised I had not updated yesterday’s blog yet, let alone sent it off. So, I got in with doing that. Klutz!
04:15hrs, I finally got the Friday blog finished and sent off to WordPress. Phew!
I took a photograph from the unwanted, impossible to access to clean, hard to open and close, light & view-blocking new windows. I took this in response to my hearing that whining noise again. I thought I might see something outside that might have been the source of the humming sound. But no.
I got back doing this post. The winds still involuntarily coming from the rear, got more frequent, until minutes after I had to visit the Porcelain Throne for the third time!
I went on the WordPress reader page. Then onto Facebook.
No wonder I thought I was having difficulties in keeping my balance. I discovered that the left leg was more fluid-filled and puffy than the right one! Hehehe!
I decided it was time for some breakfast. Cornflakes. Had another DTAAD wee-wee.
I ate it all, but it took a while, as for some reason I was finding it hard to swallow. So I made sure I masticated the food as well as I could with my shortage of teeth. Hehe! I still enjoyed it, though, a flavour rating of 8.2/10 was granted.
A check on the state of the pins (legs), revealed knobbly shins and some new speckly-spots and blood papsules on the anaemic looking limbs. Hey-ho!
As I was settling back down in the £300, second-hand ci1968 recliner, another summoning to the Porcelain Throne arrived. Cleaned up afterwards again, and returned to the recliner with a stingy, sore tender rear-end! I put some Germolene on specific areas.
I got things in as comfortable a position as was possible, to alleviate the haemorrhoid pains, and had to get up again for another DTAAD wee-wee!
I think I watched some more of the DVD in between many dropping-off to sleep periods, varying from a minute to ten or so.
A very concerned and truly wee’d off Nottingham pensioner finally drifted into a demented dream-filled kip! Tsk!
Holy Moly, it sounds like your bottomed out activities reached the “Ideal Gas Law” of Thermodynamics expressed as PV=nRT, where P = pressure, V = volume, n = the amount of substance of gas, i.e., the number of moles; R = the ideal, or universal, gas constant or the Molar Form of n = m/M where n (in moles) is equal to m (mass of the gas) divided by M, the molar mass in grams per mole. T = the absolute temperature of the gas. Now you know that moles are a natural part of the general gas equation, but keep in mind that gerbils are just plain kinky. Bombs away! At least thermodynamicizalationing of the Ideal Gas Law gave you some exercise jogging between your computer and the porcelain throne. Nice simple meal.
Well that confused me, but it was interesting all the same, Tim.
The park people got rid of the moles near the tree copse last year, I wonder? Hehe!
Bit of gem there, ” At least thermodynamicizalationing of the Ideal Gas Law gave you some exercise jogging between your computer and the porcelain throne!” Hahaha! Thanks.
Cheers.