Inchcockski – Sunday 5th July 2020: Muddlement, perplexity and trepidity

TFZers Shirley & Andy

Sunday 5th July 2020

Swahili: Jumapili ya 5 Julai 2020

A lousy night! 02:30hrs: I fear last night was one of the worst kips for months. Shoulder-Shuddering-Shirley, she was the main perpetrator. It seemed every few minutes she was giving the right scapula some stick, often viciously. The shoulder and neck are aching so much at this moment. This had not happened nocturnally before?

As the need for a wee-wee came on, I glanced at the EOGPB (Emergency-Overnight-Grey-Plastic-Bucket), where I intended to make for, and realised I had a blank, or several blank periods last night. The bucket was too full to use, yet I cannot recall doing so at all last night, or can I? The mind was somewhat confused at this stage, and a hazy mist seemed to be lingering amongst my thoughts.

I got up, nippily too, onto my feet, to find that my balance was not right. A fleeting thought of my possibly having had another nocturnal stroke, was soon dismissed, as I managed to quickly correct my tumble back into the recliner, and preventing any painful clashes between Harold’s Haemorrhoids and the boils and the arm of the chair! I could not have done this if another stroke had been suffered. This cheered me up a tad. Well, a lot!

Off to the wet room for a wee-wee, no need for the seated Porcelain Throne activity. That concerned me a tad, the Macrogol may not be working. Shall I take another one or not? The mind was jumping about a bit now, changing from on worry to another concern repeatedly. The wee-wee was of the SCWP (Sprinkly-Cloudy-White-Painless) variety. Washed, and off to the kitchenette.

For some reason, I saw beauty in the views through the unwanted, thick-framed, light and view-blocking window; designed obviously by an ophthalmophobia-sufferer. I took some photographs while the kettle heated up. The Canon camera did not do the scenes justice. They looked incredibly eerie to the eye. Still, after looking at them on the blog, they are not so bad after all, just too small for details to show up. My bad! I’ve always wanted to use that phrase. Hehe!

Brewed the tea, let it cool down so as not to bother Toothache Thomas too much, while I did the Health Checks. Much betterer readings this morning. The earhole thermometer showed just ‘Low’.

I took the brew with me (in the left hand!) and made my way carefully to the computer.

Had I known then, the problems and difficulties I was going to face, I would not have bothered!

I got computer Cameron going, and opened CorelDraw to post, touch-up and to create some graphics for yesterdays blog updating.

  • Coreldraw refused to respond to many buttons and keyboard activations. I lost hours trying to get it right!
  • I turned everything off, after a battle to get CorelDraw to save my work already done, I had to give up and lose it! Grrr!
  • Restarted CorelDraw, but with no change in the faults! At least it let me save the changes I had not made?
  • Then it froze altogether! Crigglebogsnot!
  • I had to close it down by turning off the computer, things were looking bad now! Grobognangles!
  • I gave things a while to calm down, then rebooted the computer. Oh, dear!
  • I opened CorelDraw first. And hey-ho and yippee! It was working! I felt over-the-moon!
  • I opened Firefox, and then WordPress. Shit! The internet was down!

  • I gave it time to restart of its own accord. Fool! 
  • Turned everything off at the box. Waited for five minutes. (Whistling to keep calm).
  • Got the internet turned back on, and still no action. Spit!
  • Pressed the reset button. Waited a few minutes, went for a wee-wee, which surprisingly turned out of the irritatingly durable, WSSULL (Weak-Squirty-Spraying-Uncontrollable-Long-Lasting) mode!
  • When I returned, the internet was back on!

What a kerfuffle, foofaraw, hurry-scurry, fracas, hullabaloo and time-consuming start to the day! Unglefrogwogglings!

At long last, I could make a start on the blogging process. I was so irritated with things, Duodenal Donald joined in with Shoulder-Shuddering-Shirley in annoying me, now! Grumph!

The Liberty-Global Virgin box was flashing a little worryingly, too!

I got making much-delayed progress finally with the updating of the Saturday blog. It was very pleasing when Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters and Dizzy Dennis departed and have not yet returned. (Give them time, they’ll be back, Ha!)

Sent off the links.

Went to make a brew of tea, and the need for the Porcelain Throne arrived. So, off to the wet room. Almost a pleasure after the last few days of concrete evacuations and crosswording while I waited. It was still painful, but far less so. And, this time, no bleeding either. Highly satisfactory! The Macrogol seems to be easing the situation. I’ll just take one later, I don’t want to get all blocked-up again.

I made the template and a start on this post. Slow work now, Saccades Sandra keeps having a go at me. Went on Facebooking for a while, can’t stay too long, the ablutions and Josie’s meal will need tending to soon.

Quick photo session now the day is brightening up. Very pretty and allowed me a few minutes of neophilia enjoyment.

As I went to put the computer to sleep (If only I could do the same with myself, Tsk!), I got an email from the Surgery. I went into investigation mode!

The message informed me about the Phorpain and Fenbid gels I use to counter Colin cramps and Arthur Itis:

Flammable gel. May form flammable vapour mixtures with air. Avoid all ignition sources. All potential sources of ignition (open flames, all types of smoking, pilot lights, furnaces, spark-producing switches and electrical equipment etc.) must be eliminated both in and near the work or rest area. Side effects of the gel: Shortness of breath. Unexplained wheezing. Blisters or a rash on the skin. Swelling of the face. Itching, redness or bruising of the skin. Digestive problems such as abdominal pain or indigestion, particularly in people with a history of stomach ulcers. Kidney problems. Allergic reactions: such as asthma attacks, narrowing of the airways (bronchospasm), swelling of the lips, throat and tongue (angioedema), itchy blistering rash or anaphylactic shock. Stop using Phorpain and Fenbid, and get immediate medical advice if you have an allergic reaction.

That was nice and encouraging to know.

Off to get the ablutions tended to: Another amazingly short on Dropsies, Accifauxpas and Whoopsiedangleplops session!

  • Overall, (No shower again, too early for them on a Sunday), only about six dropsies in total!
  • Fair enough, the shaving was interrupted by Shoulder-Shuddering-Shiela, this brought up the razor cuts a smidge, to five.
  • I required three wee-wees during the wash-up. All trickly, painful jobs, but still no bleeding from Little Inchies fungal lesion!
  • The rear-end installed clump of furunculosis caused a lot of pain when I washed the area, and even more so when I had to apply the Germolid and hydrocortisone creams. Oh, boy, Yes!

The pins looked even thinner this morning. Am I withering away? I wish they’d take some from the stomach first. Hahaha! That is getting ridiculously massive!

When the dressing started, well, by the time it had been done, I’d gathered a couple of more little bruises to the arms and elbows, with losing my balance and hitting the edge of the door. But I didn’t go over! Smug-Mode-Installed! 

I went to make another brew, and thought that the clouds were even more awesome now! Well, even prettier is a better word to use.

A quick bash on the WordPress reader, the Libert-Global Virgin Media internet threw a few wobblies, sticking, momentary breaks in service… I’m not sure why I mentioned that. It’s not as if it’s unusual. Huh!

Dizzy Dennis visited, and I was sure I was in for a bad session, the spinning head, warped vision and unsteady grasp on distances were all showing up. Two-minutes later, everything had cleared? A first that!

I got on with prepping Josie’s meal. I put extra Leicester cheese and butter in the cheesy potatoes but used instant mash with chives today. It came out smelling and looking good. I nibbled a forkful, and it passed my taste-check for Josie.

Had a go on the WordPress Reader, then back to make up the meal. Delivered it to Josie. She seemed happy with the look of it. Then back to the lonely flat, to prep my fodder.

I’d made a cock-up with the BBQ pork ribs. I really thought they were cook in the bag. Bit no, they had to go in the oven. So I got the pork ribs in the oven with some skinless sausages.

While they were cooking, I set the timer and left in close by so I might hear it in case I nodded off, and I’m glad I did.

Twenty minutes later, the timer woke me, and I got up from the c1968 recliner with ease, and proceeded to the kitchenette, walking straight into the door frame with my right shoulder! That pulled me up a bit sharpishly! Off course, within seconds Shoulder-Shuddering Shirley kicked in!

What a farce it was getting the meal sorted, plated and on the tray. I dropped bits of mess on the floor, in the oven, down my stomach, stabbed myself (well, it sounds more dramatic than, stuck the fork in the back of my hand, Hehe!), dropped a knife, spoom, spatula and sauce bottle!

I dropped and broke my last bottle of Balsamic vinegar, spilt water on me and the floor washing the saucepans. Things were going to pot here!

Eventually, I got semi-sorted, not comfortable with shoulder pain and shakes. But by then, the meal was disappointingly not very hot. But I wasn’t too bothered, and got down in the recliner and ingested it all. I imagine the spare ribs consisted of 80% bone, Tsk! But what meat there was, tasted delicious!

Somehow I got the pots washed, and part-way through doing them, thank heavens, and most surprisingly, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley stopped, just like that!

Feeling suddenly extra weary, I got settled down in £300, second-hand, c1968, recliner, with some cheese biscuits and a bottle of spring water… That was it, I was off into the blissful land of Sweet Morpheous!

I woke in need of a wee-wee, assuming it was early morning, and stayed up. I later discovered it was not yet midnight. Klutz!